March 19, 2020 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a 45 year old woman and I've finally met Mr. Right, or so I thought. He has a steady job, a nice home and treats me like a queen! We've been dating two years and he recently proposed to me, but there’s just one issue with him that needs to be fixed before I agree to marry him. It’s his language. Steve, I know you are proud of your cussing skills so I need your help. Whenever my man gets frustrated, he cusses like there’s no tomorrow. Shortly after we met, he visited my church with me and while the sermon was going on, he got a call from his ex-wife.............
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Submit
your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click
Submit Strawberry Letters. Shirley Girl is out today. Steve Harvey
will read the letter. I had just was clearing my throat.
That was not Every time you do that, you have
(00:25):
to you have to make an announcement. I'm about to
clear my throat, y'all excuse me. This is just thoat clearing.
I ain't trying to clear the room or just trying
to clear my throat. All. Right, here we go. Subject
his mouth may be a deal breaker. Dear Stephen, Shirley,
I'm a forty five year old woman. I have finally
(00:46):
met mister Wright. Also. I thought he's got a steady job,
a nice home. He treats me like a queen. We've
been dating two years and he recently proposed to me.
But there's just one issue with him that needs to
be fixed before I agreed to marry him. It's his language. Steve,
(01:09):
I know you're proud what you just called me out
of No damn, Steve, I know you're proud of your
custom skills, so I need your help, Okay, well whatever whatever.
My man gets frustrated, he cussings like there's no tomorrow.
Shortly after we met, he visited my church with me.
(01:31):
Already after we met, he visited my church with me,
and while the sermon was going on, he got called
from his ex wife. See this bad timing now. He
stepped out in the hallway to talk to his ex
wife and everybody in the church could hear him cussing
(01:53):
her out. I was shamed and did not return to
that church. He is an expert cusser and sometimes it's entertaining,
but I need him to reel it in a bit.
He recently cussed out another parent. He cussed out another
(02:13):
parent at his daughter's piano recital for Coffin, and the
guy couldn't help it. Not in the days in time,
you're gonna get cussed out his daughter was a shame
because the school's security guard put my man out of
the recital. The big deal breaking for me now is
(02:34):
he cannot refrain from cussing around my parents. Last time
we all got together for dinner, my man went to
the bathroom and on the way back to our table,
he stopped his toe on a rolling card. He stumped
his toe on the rolling cart. Then tire restaurant came
to a screeching halt as he let out the loudest
(02:56):
string of cuss words I've ever heard. My parents had
been going to that restaurant for years, and they were
so ashamed they walked out. My dad doesn't want me
with a man like this, But he really is a
great guy. He just got a very filed mouth. It's
just something that can be changed or well, I run
the risk of being embarrassed for life if I marry him.
(03:18):
Please at five call him. Well all right, girl, let
me tell you, because this letter is truly truly for Steve.
But I give you a little bit. You are going
to have to talk to your man and just say,
you know, baby, listen, you know you're cussing in front
of my parents. You have to start showing some respect.
You embarrass your daughter at her recital. You know you
(03:40):
just cussed out of man because he kept coughing, and
I know this ain't no time to be coughing, just
like Steve said, but you did not have to go
to that level. Whether security at the school had to
remove you from the recital. You're cussing at church. It's
just disrespectful. Just tell him you're a good man, tell
him you love him. But you know some people look
(04:00):
at cussing or swearing as intimidating or it's a form
of bullying. Actually, so tell him you're not blaming him
for his habit. But he has to recognize it and
work on it. He tell him you love him and
you want to be his wife. But he can't keep
relying on profanity and cuss words to express himself. You know,
(04:22):
he's got to find another way to do it. He's
got to find ways to get out of negative situations
and think of something positive that he can do or
say in those moments, because it is truly out of hand.
You know, you just can't be going firing off at
church and in front of the parents and just you
got you gotta try. That's not helping. Tell me, I
(04:44):
don't know, start a cusso jar, y'all remember that back
in the day, punishment five dollars for every cuss word.
But you've got to tell him that it's something that
he really needs to work on. Steve, I know you
want this letter, Well, so here is what I'm duke first. First,
I'm gonna read this. I'm gonna give you what an
(05:04):
opinion or radio opinion when we come after the break,
I'm gonna do the letter a little more justice. Let
me just say this right here. You should not not
marry a man because it has a file mouth. It
can be changed. This is a great guy. He treats
you like a queen. He's a wonderful dude. He just cuss.
(05:27):
Cussin ain't the worst thing that command could do. He
ain't cheating on you. He's not physically abusive. He's not
mentally abusive, even though if he's cussing at you, that's
a form of abuse. But I think that's not the problem.
It's just when he gets frustrated, cusses. And so that
(05:47):
can be dealt with and worked with by you by
constant constantly encouraging him not to cuss, rewarding him for
not cussing, and then at the same time showing your
utter disdain when he does. Eventually, a man that loves
you will make the necessary changes around you. So here's
(06:10):
what you have to do. You have to create boundaries.
You can cuss wherever you want when you're not with
me or when you're around me and my parents. I'm
asking you to refrain from it. And if I look
at you or nudge you, you've gone too far. And
I'm not saying you can't cuss, but all these loud
cussing outbreaks. If I nudge you, you need to pull
(06:31):
up and you need to work out a system because
you don't want to give up a good man. Now,
when we come back, I'm gonna read this letter and
respond to it the right way. Do we need to
be right the hour you're listening to. Okay, Steve, come on, recaps.
(06:55):
All right, here we go. Here's a woman that has
been dealing with this man. And I gave my opinion earlier.
Don't leave a good man just because he cuss. Work
with him. Set some parameters. You can slowly work him
out of this. You can cuss, but not around me.
I want you to refrain when you're around me and
my parents. Other than that, you want to cus somebody out,
(07:16):
do whatever you wanna do. Let's work on this together.
All right, that's what you don't wanna leave a good
man just called it. Cuse everybody got flaws. Now, let's
read the letter from Steve Harvey, who ain't on the
radio and not trying to give advice. Y'all stay with me.
Here we go this Stephen Shell. I'm a forty five
year old woman. I finally met mister writer, so I thought.
(07:37):
He got a steady job at nice home and treats
me like a queen. We've been dating for two years
and he recently proposed to me. But there's just one
issue with him that needs to be fixed before I
agree to marry him. It's his language. Steve, se know
why she bring my ass into this. I know you're
proud of your custom skills, so I need your help.
(07:58):
I'm one of the best that there is, damn it.
Whenever my man gets frustrated, he cussed like, ain't no tomorrow.
Shortly after we met, he visited my church with me,
and while the sermon was going on, he got a
call from his funking ass ex wife. He stepped out
in the hallway to talk to huff funking ass, and
everybody in the church could hear him cussing out. I'm
(08:20):
in here trying to say the Lord and you out
here calling me. You called me for now. Everybody asked
you for this bush. I can't even go to church
without your monkeys calling me. That's why I left your
in the first place. I hope you go to hell.
You make me sick. No call this more phone, No
(08:43):
more knows my number. Mother. Now he's an expert cussing.
Sometimes it's entertaining. See, I know that's why I because
of that line right there. I'm it's entertaining when I cussed,
(09:04):
and so I use cussing for entertainment. So I don't
do what you're tripping from. But I need him to
reel it in. He recently cuts out another pan at
his daughter piano cited for coughing, and the guy couldn't
help it. My baby playing, you coffee for your baby playing,
and start all that coffin. You know when my baby
(09:28):
playing the piano. You don't call when my baby playing
the piano, puck mother, while my baby player? When that lord,
when your little baby, your other baby is playing, cough again,
cough again. I see what happened to yo? All right?
(09:54):
And then his daughter wasn't bass caused the school's kit
to God putting my man out through the citle the
big deal breakwa me. He cannot refrain from cussing round
my pants? Who is your parents? Here we go? Who
who is your mama, Daddy, Joseph and Mary? What? But
how they ain't that? How the old lass ain't hearing
(10:15):
no cussing? We go together to dinner. My man went
to the bathroom. On the way back to our table,
he stumped his toe on the rolling cart. Put this
card and this I this the worst pass you can
put the grocery cart. This the dumbist. Oh to suit
(10:35):
everybody in this mother, I didn't come in here, have
no cart in the tell him this bush. He was
loving this too much, Oh too much. He let out
the loudest cuss words I've ever heard. My parents had
(10:56):
been going to that restaurant for years, and they were
so ashamed they walked out. Walk your's out, bye bye today.
My dad don't want me to man man like this.
What you want me to wear? What you want an
(11:18):
old man like your daddy, same restaurant for thirty years.
My dad don't want me to man man like that.
But he really is a great guy. He just has
a very fire mouth. Is this something that can be changed?
Or will I run the risk of being bass for life? Now?
Is he gonna didn't bash you sometimes, but you can
get some parameters going, say, listen, you're cussing is a
(11:38):
real problem for me. It's embarrassing. And I love you
and I don't want you didn't bass me no more.
So I'm just gonna ask you not to cuss around me.
And if you cuss around me, I promise you, I'm
gonna slap you. Got you, I'm an haul off cock
(12:00):
the monkey out of you. Now cuss again your black
Now see, sometimes you got to embarrass or cussa to
get him to stop. And that's my suggestion, and that's
my reading of the letter. Yeah, and let that. Can
(12:21):
I say something you made me so mo I'm proud.
I ain't gonna ja jay, how about you? I just
would like to say, that was the funniest ever heard.
Thank you man in a long man. Thank you, Thank
(12:42):
you man, Thank you man. Man. That means a lot
to me. Man, that was that was phenomenal. Thank you.
Hate this letter, so, Carl, I guess you don't want
to say about it. Who is a good castle? I
(13:03):
don't know why talent cosses I've ever heard calling for Ready,
We'll be back, y'all. We got Mo Right after that,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Submit
your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click
Submit Strawberry Letters. Shirley Girl is out today. Steve Harvey
will read the letter. I had just was clearing my throat.
That was not Every time you do that, you have
(00:25):
to you have to make an announcement. I'm about to
clear my throat, y'all excuse me. This is just thoat clearing.
I ain't trying to clear the room or just trying
to clear my throat. All. Right, here we go. Subject
his mouth may be a deal breaker. Dear Stephen, Shirley,
I'm a forty five year old woman. I have finally
(00:46):
met mister Wright. Also. I thought he's got a steady job,
a nice home. He treats me like a queen. We've
been dating two years and he recently proposed to me.
But there's just one issue with him that needs to
be fixed before I agreed to marry him. It's his language. Steve,
(01:09):
I know you're proud what you just called me out
of No damn, Steve, I know you're proud of your
custom skills, so I need your help, Okay, well whatever whatever.
My man gets frustrated, he cussings like there's no tomorrow.
Shortly after we met, he visited my church with me.
(01:31):
Already after we met, he visited my church with me,
and while the sermon was going on, he got called
from his ex wife. See this bad timing now. He
stepped out in the hallway to talk to his ex
wife and everybody in the church could hear him cussing
(01:53):
her out. I was shamed and did not return to
that church. He is an expert cusser and sometimes it's entertaining,
but I need him to reel it in a bit.
He recently cussed out another parent. He cussed out another
(02:13):
parent at his daughter's piano recital for Coffin, and the
guy couldn't help it. Not in the days in time,
you're gonna get cussed out his daughter was a shame
because the school's security guard put my man out of
the recital. The big deal breaking for me now is
(02:34):
he cannot refrain from cussing around my parents. Last time
we all got together for dinner, my man went to
the bathroom and on the way back to our table,
he stopped his toe on a rolling card. He stumped
his toe on the rolling cart. Then tire restaurant came
to a screeching halt as he let out the loudest
(02:56):
string of cuss words I've ever heard. My parents had
been going to that restaurant for years, and they were
so ashamed they walked out. My dad doesn't want me
with a man like this, But he really is a
great guy. He just got a very filed mouth. It's
just something that can be changed or well, I run
the risk of being embarrassed for life if I marry him.
(03:18):
Please at five call him. Well all right, girl, let
me tell you, because this letter is truly truly for Steve.
But I give you a little bit. You are going
to have to talk to your man and just say,
you know, baby, listen, you know you're cussing in front
of my parents. You have to start showing some respect.
You embarrass your daughter at her recital. You know you
(03:40):
just cussed out of man because he kept coughing, and
I know this ain't no time to be coughing, just
like Steve said, but you did not have to go
to that level. Whether security at the school had to
remove you from the recital. You're cussing at church. It's
just disrespectful. Just tell him you're a good man, tell
him you love him. But you know some people look
(04:00):
at cussing or swearing as intimidating or it's a form
of bullying. Actually, so tell him you're not blaming him
for his habit. But he has to recognize it and
work on it. He tell him you love him and
you want to be his wife. But he can't keep
relying on profanity and cuss words to express himself. You know,
(04:22):
he's got to find another way to do it. He's
got to find ways to get out of negative situations
and think of something positive that he can do or
say in those moments, because it is truly out of hand.
You know, you just can't be going firing off at
church and in front of the parents and just you
got you gotta try. That's not helping. Tell me, I
(04:44):
don't know, start a cusso jar, y'all remember that back
in the day, punishment five dollars for every cuss word.
But you've got to tell him that it's something that
he really needs to work on. Steve, I know you
want this letter, Well, so here is what I'm duke first. First,
I'm gonna read this. I'm gonna give you what an
(05:04):
opinion or radio opinion when we come after the break,
I'm gonna do the letter a little more justice. Let
me just say this right here. You should not not
marry a man because it has a file mouth. It
can be changed. This is a great guy. He treats
you like a queen. He's a wonderful dude. He just cuss.
(05:27):
Cussin ain't the worst thing that command could do. He
ain't cheating on you. He's not physically abusive. He's not
mentally abusive, even though if he's cussing at you, that's
a form of abuse. But I think that's not the problem.
It's just when he gets frustrated, cusses. And so that
(05:47):
can be dealt with and worked with by you by
constant constantly encouraging him not to cuss, rewarding him for
not cussing, and then at the same time showing your
utter disdain when he does. Eventually, a man that loves
you will make the necessary changes around you. So here's
(06:10):
what you have to do. You have to create boundaries.
You can cuss wherever you want when you're not with
me or when you're around me and my parents. I'm
asking you to refrain from it. And if I look
at you or nudge you, you've gone too far. And
I'm not saying you can't cuss, but all these loud
cussing outbreaks. If I nudge you, you need to pull
(06:31):
up and you need to work out a system because
you don't want to give up a good man. Now,
when we come back, I'm gonna read this letter and
respond to it the right way. Do we need to
be right the hour you're listening to. Okay, Steve, come on, recaps.
(06:55):
All right, here we go. Here's a woman that has
been dealing with this man. And I gave my opinion earlier.
Don't leave a good man just because he cuss. Work
with him. Set some parameters. You can slowly work him
out of this. You can cuss, but not around me.
I want you to refrain when you're around me and
my parents. Other than that, you want to cus somebody out,
(07:16):
do whatever you wanna do. Let's work on this together.
All right, that's what you don't wanna leave a good
man just called it. Cuse everybody got flaws. Now, let's
read the letter from Steve Harvey, who ain't on the
radio and not trying to give advice. Y'all stay with me.
Here we go this Stephen Shell. I'm a forty five
year old woman. I finally met mister writer, so I thought.
(07:37):
He got a steady job at nice home and treats
me like a queen. We've been dating for two years
and he recently proposed to me. But there's just one
issue with him that needs to be fixed before I
agree to marry him. It's his language. Steve, se know
why she bring my ass into this. I know you're
proud of your custom skills, so I need your help.
(07:58):
I'm one of the best that there is, damn it.
Whenever my man gets frustrated, he cussed like, ain't no tomorrow.
Shortly after we met, he visited my church with me,
and while the sermon was going on, he got a
call from his funking ass ex wife. He stepped out
in the hallway to talk to huff funking ass, and
everybody in the church could hear him cussing out. I'm
(08:20):
in here trying to say the Lord and you out
here calling me. You called me for now. Everybody asked
you for this bush. I can't even go to church
without your monkeys calling me. That's why I left your
in the first place. I hope you go to hell.
You make me sick. No call this more phone, No
(08:43):
more knows my number. Mother. Now he's an expert cussing.
Sometimes it's entertaining. See, I know that's why I because
of that line right there. I'm it's entertaining when I cussed,
(09:04):
and so I use cussing for entertainment. So I don't
do what you're tripping from. But I need him to
reel it in. He recently cuts out another pan at
his daughter piano cited for coughing, and the guy couldn't
help it. My baby playing, you coffee for your baby playing,
and start all that coffin. You know when my baby
(09:28):
playing the piano. You don't call when my baby playing
the piano, puck mother, while my baby player? When that lord,
when your little baby, your other baby is playing, cough again,
cough again. I see what happened to yo? All right?
(09:54):
And then his daughter wasn't bass caused the school's kit
to God putting my man out through the citle the
big deal breakwa me. He cannot refrain from cussing round
my pants? Who is your parents? Here we go? Who
who is your mama, Daddy, Joseph and Mary? What? But
how they ain't that? How the old lass ain't hearing
(10:15):
no cussing? We go together to dinner. My man went
to the bathroom. On the way back to our table,
he stumped his toe on the rolling cart. Put this
card and this I this the worst pass you can
put the grocery cart. This the dumbist. Oh to suit
(10:35):
everybody in this mother, I didn't come in here, have
no cart in the tell him this bush. He was
loving this too much, Oh too much. He let out
the loudest cuss words I've ever heard. My parents had
(10:56):
been going to that restaurant for years, and they were
so ashamed they walked out. Walk your's out, bye bye today.
My dad don't want me to man man like this.
What you want me to wear? What you want an
(11:18):
old man like your daddy, same restaurant for thirty years.
My dad don't want me to man man like that.
But he really is a great guy. He just has
a very fire mouth. Is this something that can be changed?
Or will I run the risk of being bass for life? Now?
Is he gonna didn't bash you sometimes, but you can
get some parameters going, say, listen, you're cussing is a
(11:38):
real problem for me. It's embarrassing. And I love you
and I don't want you didn't bass me no more.
So I'm just gonna ask you not to cuss around me.
And if you cuss around me, I promise you, I'm
gonna slap you. Got you, I'm an haul off cock
(12:00):
the monkey out of you. Now cuss again your black
Now see, sometimes you got to embarrass or cussa to
get him to stop. And that's my suggestion, and that's
my reading of the letter. Yeah, and let that. Can
(12:21):
I say something you made me so mo I'm proud.
I ain't gonna ja jay, how about you? I just
would like to say, that was the funniest ever heard.
Thank you man in a long man. Thank you, Thank
(12:42):
you man, Thank you man. Man. That means a lot
to me. Man, that was that was phenomenal. Thank you.
Hate this letter, so, Carl, I guess you don't want
to say about it. Who is a good castle? I
(13:03):
don't know why talent cosses I've ever heard calling for Ready,
We'll be back, y'all. We got Mo Right after that,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show
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