My Tiny Husband

First off I want to say that I love my husband. He is the most kind and gentle man I have ever known. When we met we dated for a year without having sex. We had never seen each other naked until marriage. After we got married and before we started having sex my husband admitted to me that he was smaller than normal if you know what I mean. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it's that time. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is straw every
letter all right now on this letter, thank you, nephew.
On this letter, I think we need to do a
slight disclaimer here to the parents. If you have children,
young children in the car and you don't want them
to hear this letter, now is a good time to
have them turn away or turn the radio down. Don't

(00:21):
turn it off, don't change the station, just turn it down. Okay,
we want you here when we come back with the Yeah,
subject my tiny husband, I'm gonna tell you what Gene
cal who told me God dog believe alright, can finish

(00:52):
out there. Yeah, yeah, he said that too. Alright, Subject
my tiny husband, Dear Stephen Shirley. First off, I want
to say that I love my husband. He is a
most kind and gentleman I have ever known. When we met,
we dated for a year without having sex. We had
never seen each other naked until marriage. After right there,

(01:16):
you know it's not about Tommy. After we got married
and before we started having sex, my husband admitted to
me that he was smaller than normal, if you know
what I mean. But my husband, but comma my husband
is the size of a five year old boy. God,
I had to read that again. Uh, my husband is

(01:40):
the size of a five year old boy. Those those
were yeah, those I just got. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no. We got to read that again again. I
don't I don't want to embarrass him like that. But
it's not the size. Okay, but it doesn't matter. Size

(02:02):
doesn't matter. But my husband will you will get to interrupt.
It's not it's the motion in the ocean. Come on,
that is a saying. It's not the size of the ship,
but it's the motion in the ocean if you throw

(02:24):
a boulder. Okay, but my husband is the size of
a five year old boy. All right, everybody clear now
I'm going to read on. Those were his doctor's words,
not mine. His wife says, yes, we went to a
doctor and the doctor said that nothing could be done.

(02:45):
We have been married now for seven years, and I
am frustrated as heck. I confided in my ex boyfriend
and he is offered to help me out sexually. But
I know my husband would be devastated if he found out.
I am upset with the fact that my husband waited
until I was deeply in love with him to tell

(03:06):
me about his shortcoming. So would I be wrong to
get some action on the side every once in a while.
I do love my husband, but I have needs. What
should I do? Please help God? This really is a
tough one right here, because yeah, or is it? Yeah?

(03:28):
Really not really ja um. But but I mean it's
a sensitive subject. You know, it's a sensitive subject. This
is a grown man who has an issue with size.
And you know, I was gonna say, go to the
doctor and see if there's anything they could do, some
sort of prosthetic or something like that, but they said, uh,
they went to the doctor and the doctor said nothing

(03:50):
could be done. I would suggest to you to get
a second opinion because I have heard of prosthetics or
something like that along those lines that men can can
you know, do to to help in that area. Um. Yeah,
you know, I think there was a news story about
a month or so ago. We did it on this
very show where there was a man that didn't even

(04:11):
have one, He didn't even have a penis, and we talked.
It was made national news and he fooled his girlfriend
for quite a long time. But anyway, Yeah, this is
this is a major problem. Of course, you know you
you marry um to have sex with the man you
love and all of that. But I would suggest going
to another doctor seeing if there is something could be done.

(04:33):
I mean, women get enhancements all the time. We get
breast enhancements, we get but injections, we get all of this.
So you know, why shouldn't men do the same things
if you know they need help in that area. So
that is my suggestion to you. I would not suggest
you getting some on the side right now, because you
know that's seltree. It's cheating. It's it's just cheating, and

(04:56):
we don't want to go there, and it will devastate
your husband. And that's mentioned. She's already getting a little
something right right, come on, come on, you rush your joke.

(05:19):
I'm so glad. I would I wish just I don't
know who this lady is. I'm so glad I'm not
going through this. I'm so glad I don't suffer from this.
I wouldn't send her a picture, but I don't want
to eat a ball memory on her phone. I don't
eat the ball with gigglebytes. Even with diabetes. Even I

(05:42):
guess that's good to know, that's good to know, you
know what, Like I said, she's already getting little something
on the sad, so it was so good. I'm gonna
sitting here. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what
to do. I don't know what to tell. You know,
get your boyfriend or some because this is ground for

(06:03):
divorce right here. This is definitely grounds for divorce, wouldn't
you say so? I mean, is that on the paperwork? Yeah? Yeah?
Can you check that? Sent in health for Richard for
poor until death do it? Some traps being sick. You're

(06:25):
gonna have to cheat till we get where we're trying
to go. Okay, we're gonna have to get him to
this doctor. I got a doctor in Beverly Hills. He
does all that stuff and he can handle it. Dr
Bang and no pun intended, but Dr Bang Bang, are
you kidding me? Right now? That's that's the same as
she's getting a little on the side, Joe. That's the

(06:46):
exact same kind of job. Dr Surely every inch is
a cinch. Okay, Bang, Dr Bang can take care of
this problem. Gonna tell you he do this. Okay. He
does the breast enhancement for the ladies, the the butts
and all. He in Beverly Hills. He's a He's a bad,
bad boy African dude. Dr Bang No pun attended. Can
I promise you? How do you know? Dr? Oh No,

(07:09):
I'm not like no, why are you looking at me?
Twisted a thought? I'm just saying, how do you know?
Dr Bang? We're your friends. I met him doing an
I met him doing another friend. But anyway, Dr Dr
Bang dry hit where you got to go? Listen, get
what you do. I want you to somebody on the

(07:31):
side for banging until we get you to dr bangs.
Just bang till I get your to bang? What's wrong
with this? Okay? Bang it out? Bang more on this letter.
We'll let more on this letter. We'll be back subject
my tiny husband. All right, Tommy, you wanted to finish
your comments. I mean, I understand not having sex before

(07:55):
you get married. I get that part. But ain't that
some kind of way you know? I mean men when
you're dancing and grind it ain't ain't you It's some
kind of way you can Yeah, there's something. Ain't nobody
touched nobody before we got mad. You know what I
liked about the letter is that the part where he

(08:15):
says he's very nice. Yeah, yeah, he's the most kind
and gentleman I've ever known. When that little you can't
be mean, you just can't be real nice. You got
to be real nice, really nice. Fetching stuff, it's going
to get buying her stuff, fixing blades, Okay, okay, folding clothes.

(08:44):
He's doing the most. Let me ask you, so, sir Cole,
y'all married. Let's say y'all just got married. Let's say
nothing happened prior to marriage. Just get married and find
this out honey moon night. What do what you do
from here for me? An annulment immediately. We can't fix

(09:12):
this immediately, doctor bangs been. So you know what it's
it's so important to a marriage. It's such an important
thing to a marriage, you know. I mean this is
what breaks up a lot of marriages, you know, uh, sex,

(09:34):
the lack thereof too much, you know, all of that
kind of stuff. You know. So, yeah, this is a
major issue in their marriage. And that's why I suggested
going to the doctor because women do it all the time.
And it's you know, men don't go into the plastic
surgeon as much as women. They're going more nowadays, something

(09:54):
like that. Can that be well, I mean, I'm sure
there's got to be some sort of prosthetic Tommy Dr
Bang I'm telling you, is that a real person? Timing?
Is that a real person? I promise you. Yes, I'm
saying the name wrong. But his nickname is Dr Bank.
Oh I see, surely. Yeah. If you can't get any

(10:14):
help though, if it can't be helped, would you what
would you would say? You stay? Are you asking me personally?
You know what? I'd have to think about it, honestly, Carla,
Honestly I would because you took vows. You know, you
know I'm serious about that kind of stuff. You just
took vows. I mean, it's not what it's not how

(10:36):
he presented himself, I guess. But but but we ain't
know nothing about this here though. But I will tell
you this, I would probably I would probably know before
we got to that. I'll say that. I'll say that
I would probably know already before we got today. And
then you found out, then you break it up. You know,

(11:00):
it's one of those it's not you, it's me breakups. Yeah.
If it was, if it was you know, evidence in court,
they'd have to throw it out for lack of evidence.
You know, you just can't draw. I just can't draw
the land Jack. I'll tell you what this is. You know,
this is the same situation, really is. And I feel

(11:22):
for the guy, not so much what she should do,
but I think there's some things he could do that
could make it a little more interesting to what we
don't focus on what the issue really is. She said,
he's about the size of a five year old boy. Okay,
you're gonna have to be a grown five year old boy.
When she laid down the bed. You run in the
room dressed as a superhero, naked and run around, run around,

(11:49):
come up all he goes. Walk in the room, say
and then diving, then run out. Then you come back
in dress, come in there with a red nose and
some clown. She was, you know, you just do stupid,
have a sense a few more sincere or something like that.
You know, don't don't just go in there raging. Now.
I think that fire. But you're gonna need some distractions,

(12:12):
get some extra twos which when you come in there.
You know, yeah, I mean, you're you're right. This this
is you know, we're making fun of This is a
really serious, serious issue, right here. Yeah, it's serious. Yeah,
you know they're married. He's otherwise. He's the most kind.

(12:35):
That power pack I mean, pull up on in a
power wheel. You know what I'm I'm you at Costco
every week with the batterish push that right, I don't
be don't be a lot of batteries, a lot of
just rang them up. And what we're doing when just
rang them up? She says, he's the most kind and gentleman. Look,

(12:57):
you be not be mean? Right? How are you gonna be?
You can't what you what? You're gonna get hard put?
You better be harms by fat. That's the Kevin Hart movie, Tommy,
make it thrip. You better be home by fat. Do
you hear me? Yeah? My suggestion to her is just

(13:21):
getting so bullied in looking for doctors that can help you.
I I just think there's something that can be done
about this situation. I tell you no motifoli, I'm not
going to bank. We got to start from seven. You
ain't nothing to start a vegetarian. When you get we

(13:43):
need some meet somewhere. Women do it all the time.
We get enhancements everywhere, Shelly. Men can do that can't
build off of pimple Hey see, the hormones is keep
getting pretty good. You can pull over by the police
though they're gonna think you had a sex thing. They're
gonna be fixing you. Uh, we got something going on here.

(14:05):
Wait a minute, just can't wait, surely, Huh go back
to junior. Yeah, you gotta be home by five. You
hit me and then not a minute after if if
you don't man with you, he's trying to crack the whip,

(14:28):
yeah said, fold him close. If you got time, so
give me some socks. I need some socks for today.
If you don't many, never going in make me something.
Just start off loud, but then dip down real low.
That's an issue. If he's if he's great everywhere else

(14:49):
except that one place. It's time for you to get
off the phone. It's tour in the morning. If you
ain't really talking about he could have a lot, he
could have a lode and not know what to do
with the two. That's the opposite. All right. Uh, let's
move on. We're moving on. We're moving on. We'll be

(15:09):
back right after this.