November 4, 2024 • 13 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVIFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
We got it for you.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Here it is is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you, nephew. Subjecked. What have you done for me lately?
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm married to a forty one year
old bum that sits around all day doing nothing. My
husband retired from the military and his goal is to
be a house husband. Our daughter is in her first
year of college, so we're empty nesters. My husband's retirement
(00:50):
check is great, but he can be doing so much more.
His cousin has retired too, and he has a lawn
care business. My uncle retired from the life Extra company.
He started a whole new career. My husband does not
understand that he's able bodied, meaning he can do a
lot of things to generate extra income. He is satisfied
(01:13):
with what we have now and the little trips we
take here and there. I told him to think bigger,
and he can't. Christmas is coming up, and I'm tired
of the tiny pieces of jewelry he gets me every year.
I would love to get our daughter a new car,
but he always asks what's wrong with the one she has? Now.
He does keep the house clean, and he will pick
(01:34):
up dinner, but that's it. Then he comes to bed
expecting me to perform for him on demand after I've
worked all day. I told him I want the finer
things in life at some point, and he thinks I
want us to live beyond our means, but that's not it.
I just want us to be in a position where
I can shop and get nice things without stress. I
(01:55):
told him, if we have another mediocre Christmas, he's going
to have big problems on him his hand, have a
big problem on his hands. He does nothing for me
but exist in the house with me. He used to
dream about having nicer things, and now he's okay with
the raggedy recliner he sits in daily. What type of
man doesn't have a vision or want more for his family?
(02:16):
I keep asking him what has he done for me lately?
But he doesn't get it. Well, one thing for sure
is you can't make him do anything. He's got to
want to do it, and I think you know that.
And right now his only goal, you say, is to
be a house husband. Well, you don't want a house husband,
although you do appreciate him keeping the house clean and
(02:40):
bringing home dinner when he does. But he retired at
such a young age that you would think, yes, that
he'd have some other goals and aspirations. And there are
some people who don't want to do anything once they
stop working at first, but that usually gets old and
and tired and boring, and so they do start doing
(03:00):
something else to pass the time or to make money.
And maybe he's still processing at all. I can see
him wanting to take a little time off after he
got out of the military. You know, it takes time
to readjust to civilian life and all that. Get used
to not having to get up and go to work
every day. But I don't get just sitting around doing
nothing every day for an extended period of time, especially
(03:22):
if you're only forty one years old. I mean, so,
is this just a temporary thing? While he figures things
out or is this a forever situation. That's what you
got to think about. If it's forever, that will definitely
continue to be a problem for you because you are
not happy with what's going on, and one thing you're
doing is comparing him to what everybody else is doing.
(03:43):
He's got to be who he is. You guys need
to talk, try to fix this. If it's fixable, surely
he has other things that he wants to do in
life eventually, so you got to communicate. I don't think
this is going to be an easy conversation, but it's
necessary for the sake of your marriage. Steve.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He don't want nothing. You're asking somebody to be something
that they don't want to be. You're saying what he
has he done for me lately? So here's a deal.
He's forty one years old. You say he's a bum
and he sits around all day doing nothing. That's what
you say. My husband retired from the military and his
(04:22):
goal is to be a house husband.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Tada.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
See, so far, this guy in his mind has set
goals and accomplished all of them. He retired from the military,
and you said it best. His goal is to be
a house husband. He did whatever is necessary to retire
from the military, accomplished, checked the box, graduated from high school,
(04:55):
checked the box, completed all the tasks required by the
United States. He's military. Check the block, completed the task,
got a great retirement. Check which you says, he does.
Check the block. And now he wants to be a
house husband and he doing it. Check the block. That's
(05:17):
your whole problem. He feels as though he's accomplishing everything
he set out to do. Now, there's a saying that say,
comparison is the thief. It's the greatest thief of joy.
Comparison is the greatest thief of joy. You all can't
enjoy your retirement because you're comparing him to everybody else's retirement.
(05:40):
Shirley said, well he's not everybody else. Well who is
he then? And that's what you got to take a
hard look at. To retire at forty one and expect
to sit around and do nothing from now on. That's
a hard one to swallow for a woman. I know
it is, especially when you still going out going to
(06:01):
work every day and you keep getting these little thin,
LiOD tiny ass bracelets for Christmas. The one to be
on the table at Walmart in the middle of the floor. Dude,
you get two three for one and all this here
it real thin. Ain't got no charm on it than nothing.
(06:22):
You don't even know if it's a chain. It looked
like a thread. When you put your jewelry on, it
look like you wearing lint. You got a sewing thread
bracelet on. That's how thiein in yours is. I don't know.
I probably not gonna gave me help you later.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour of
the subject of today's strawberry letter, what have you done
for Me Lately? We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter, the subject what have you done
for me lately?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know this lady says that she's married to a
forty one year old bum that sits around all day
doing nothing. He retired from the military. His goal is
to be a house husband. Our daughter is in her
first year of college, so we'll empty nesters. My husband
retirement check is great, but he could do so much more.
(07:21):
His cousin retired too. He got a lawn care business.
My uncle retired from the electric company. He started a
whole new career. My husband that does not understand that
he's able body, meaning he can do a lot of
things to generate the extra income. See me, if I'm
getting some money from somewhere that's coming steady a retirement
(07:41):
check me personally, I'm gonna go out and do something
else that I've always wanted to do to generate some
more income. I mean, most people think, man, I got
this money coming free and clear, man, let me go
out and see what else I can add to the power.
You would think he wanted to do that, But that's
(08:03):
not who you married to. And I kind of feel
bad for you. He's satisfied with what we have now.
That's complacent. Once comfortable, comfort is one of the main
killers of progress. Comfort. He's comfortable where we are now
(08:24):
and the little trips we take here and now, he
comfortable with that. I told him to think bigger and
he can't. Wow. And the Bible says clearly a man
is as he thinketh So if he can't think bigger,
well you gonna stay married to Mickey Mouse. Then that's all.
(08:46):
Ain't nothing wrong with it. He like having him big
ears and four fingers and big ass shoes on, got
that little suit on. All the kids love him. I'm
not gonna maybe help you, lady. I'm trying to figure
out something to say about this. And Christmas is coming
and you tie the tiny pieces of jewelry he gets
you every year. I would love to get our daughter
(09:07):
a new car, but he always asked, what's wrong with
the one she got? Now that's a real question. But
you know he don't want nothing.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
He's only forty one too.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
He does keep the house clean and he'll pick up dinner,
but that's it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Then he come to bed expecting me to perform for
him on demand. That's that military ted hut. Come on,
get up in here, line up, fall in.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I told him I want to find the things in life.
At some point, he thinks I wanna live beyond our means. No,
that means you have to go out and help get
the finer things in life. But you ask him to
think bigger and he can't. If we have another mediocre Christmas,
he's gonna have a big problem. That's what I told him.
If we have another mediocre Christmas. We're gonna have a
(09:54):
big problem. He does nothing for me but exist in
the house with me. We to dream about having nicer things.
And now he's okay with the raggedy recliner he sits
in daily. What type of man doesn't have a vision
and want more for his family? Well, the one you married.
You don't need to look no further for who that
dude is he in your house? He and that recliner?
(10:16):
He forty one man. I don't get that, bro, and
life gonna come up on you quick. The Bible also
says a man without a dream of vision shall perish.
So you're gonna sit there wither away. Man, I've seen
it happen to a lot of people. I keep asking
him what has he done for me lately? But he
(10:37):
don't get it. Well, if you're asking him what he
did for you lately, he would You just said he
keep house clean. You just said he bring dinner home.
You just said his military check is great. He thinking
he didn't done enough. Well you're not happy. Sureley said
(10:58):
it best. Y'all need to say down. This is going
to be a difficult conversation. The only suggestion I could
give to you is, You're gonna have to hurt.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Him, hurt him, You're.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Gonna have to say, you know what, I really thought
you were a better man than this. Oh well, let
me retray you say that. I think you need to say,
you know what, m I just want to tell you
how disappointed I am, and then remind him of what
he used to do. I remember when you used to
(11:29):
dream of having nicer things, better things, bigger things like
That's who I was married to, and I thought that's
what we were gonna do. And it's absolutely surprising and
shocking me that you have settled into this life and
you don't want anything more. And I want to tell
you something that has really hurt me because I see
(11:51):
other people flourishing and I know I'm not going to
be able to do that. And I know you think
I want to live beyond our means. I don't. I
just want to create some more means, that's all. And
I thought it was with you, but I guess it's not.
So what am I to do? What am I to do?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
That's good?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Well, I guess I'll just sit here and watch everybody
else live they wonderful lives, and get.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Them Christmas coming up. What about the daughter with.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Are you gonna give me that same Are you gonna
give me that same little bit necklace? You always think that,
then you're gonna you're gonna let the baby keep driving
this ragged ass car. The baby don't Yeah, you know,
(12:40):
you know, she in college and she got this raggedy car,
and we keep putting money into a repairing and we
could just get a new you don't. I guess you
don't want that though. I just keep driving the ragged
ass car to the church and let the people look
Eastern dress I had on last.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Easton Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook and Steve Harvey FM,
and you can your letters too. Also check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Now, coming
up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVIFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
We got it for you.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Here it is is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you, nephew. Subjecked. What have you done for me lately?
Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm married to a forty one year
old bum that sits around all day doing nothing. My
husband retired from the military and his goal is to
be a house husband. Our daughter is in her first
year of college, so we're empty nesters. My husband's retirement
(00:50):
check is great, but he can be doing so much more.
His cousin has retired too, and he has a lawn
care business. My uncle retired from the life Extra company.
He started a whole new career. My husband does not
understand that he's able bodied, meaning he can do a
lot of things to generate extra income. He is satisfied
(01:13):
with what we have now and the little trips we
take here and there. I told him to think bigger,
and he can't. Christmas is coming up, and I'm tired
of the tiny pieces of jewelry he gets me every year.
I would love to get our daughter a new car,
but he always asks what's wrong with the one she has? Now.
He does keep the house clean, and he will pick
(01:34):
up dinner, but that's it. Then he comes to bed
expecting me to perform for him on demand after I've
worked all day. I told him I want the finer
things in life at some point, and he thinks I
want us to live beyond our means, but that's not it.
I just want us to be in a position where
I can shop and get nice things without stress. I
(01:55):
told him, if we have another mediocre Christmas, he's going
to have big problems on him his hand, have a
big problem on his hands. He does nothing for me
but exist in the house with me. He used to
dream about having nicer things, and now he's okay with
the raggedy recliner he sits in daily. What type of
man doesn't have a vision or want more for his family?
(02:16):
I keep asking him what has he done for me lately?
But he doesn't get it. Well, one thing for sure
is you can't make him do anything. He's got to
want to do it, and I think you know that.
And right now his only goal, you say, is to
be a house husband. Well, you don't want a house husband,
although you do appreciate him keeping the house clean and
(02:40):
bringing home dinner when he does. But he retired at
such a young age that you would think, yes, that
he'd have some other goals and aspirations. And there are
some people who don't want to do anything once they
stop working at first, but that usually gets old and
and tired and boring, and so they do start doing
(03:00):
something else to pass the time or to make money.
And maybe he's still processing at all. I can see
him wanting to take a little time off after he
got out of the military. You know, it takes time
to readjust to civilian life and all that. Get used
to not having to get up and go to work
every day. But I don't get just sitting around doing
nothing every day for an extended period of time, especially
(03:22):
if you're only forty one years old. I mean, so,
is this just a temporary thing? While he figures things
out or is this a forever situation. That's what you
got to think about. If it's forever, that will definitely
continue to be a problem for you because you are
not happy with what's going on, and one thing you're
doing is comparing him to what everybody else is doing.
(03:43):
He's got to be who he is. You guys need
to talk, try to fix this. If it's fixable, surely
he has other things that he wants to do in
life eventually, so you got to communicate. I don't think
this is going to be an easy conversation, but it's
necessary for the sake of your marriage. Steve.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He don't want nothing. You're asking somebody to be something
that they don't want to be. You're saying what he
has he done for me lately? So here's a deal.
He's forty one years old. You say he's a bum
and he sits around all day doing nothing. That's what
you say. My husband retired from the military and his
(04:22):
goal is to be a house husband.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Tada.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
See, so far, this guy in his mind has set
goals and accomplished all of them. He retired from the military,
and you said it best. His goal is to be
a house husband. He did whatever is necessary to retire
from the military, accomplished, checked the box, graduated from high school,
(04:55):
checked the box, completed all the tasks required by the
United States. He's military. Check the block, completed the task,
got a great retirement. Check which you says, he does.
Check the block. And now he wants to be a
house husband and he doing it. Check the block. That's
(05:17):
your whole problem. He feels as though he's accomplishing everything
he set out to do. Now, there's a saying that say,
comparison is the thief. It's the greatest thief of joy.
Comparison is the greatest thief of joy. You all can't
enjoy your retirement because you're comparing him to everybody else's retirement.
(05:40):
Shirley said, well he's not everybody else. Well who is
he then? And that's what you got to take a
hard look at. To retire at forty one and expect
to sit around and do nothing from now on. That's
a hard one to swallow for a woman. I know
it is, especially when you still going out going to
(06:01):
work every day and you keep getting these little thin,
LiOD tiny ass bracelets for Christmas. The one to be
on the table at Walmart in the middle of the floor. Dude,
you get two three for one and all this here
it real thin. Ain't got no charm on it than nothing.
(06:22):
You don't even know if it's a chain. It looked
like a thread. When you put your jewelry on, it
look like you wearing lint. You got a sewing thread
bracelet on. That's how thiein in yours is. I don't know.
I probably not gonna gave me help you later.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour of
the subject of today's strawberry letter, what have you done
for Me Lately? We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's
recap today's strawberry letter, the subject what have you done
for me lately?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You know this lady says that she's married to a
forty one year old bum that sits around all day
doing nothing. He retired from the military. His goal is
to be a house husband. Our daughter is in her
first year of college, so we'll empty nesters. My husband
retirement check is great, but he could do so much more.
(07:21):
His cousin retired too. He got a lawn care business.
My uncle retired from the electric company. He started a
whole new career. My husband that does not understand that
he's able body, meaning he can do a lot of
things to generate the extra income. See me, if I'm
getting some money from somewhere that's coming steady a retirement
(07:41):
check me personally, I'm gonna go out and do something
else that I've always wanted to do to generate some
more income. I mean, most people think, man, I got
this money coming free and clear, man, let me go
out and see what else I can add to the power.
You would think he wanted to do that, But that's
(08:03):
not who you married to. And I kind of feel
bad for you. He's satisfied with what we have now.
That's complacent. Once comfortable, comfort is one of the main
killers of progress. Comfort. He's comfortable where we are now
(08:24):
and the little trips we take here and now, he
comfortable with that. I told him to think bigger and
he can't. Wow. And the Bible says clearly a man
is as he thinketh So if he can't think bigger,
well you gonna stay married to Mickey Mouse. Then that's all.
(08:46):
Ain't nothing wrong with it. He like having him big
ears and four fingers and big ass shoes on, got
that little suit on. All the kids love him. I'm
not gonna maybe help you, lady. I'm trying to figure
out something to say about this. And Christmas is coming
and you tie the tiny pieces of jewelry he gets
you every year. I would love to get our daughter
(09:07):
a new car, but he always asked, what's wrong with
the one she got? Now that's a real question. But
you know he don't want nothing.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
He's only forty one too.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
He does keep the house clean and he'll pick up dinner,
but that's it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Mm.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Then he come to bed expecting me to perform for
him on demand. That's that military ted hut. Come on,
get up in here, line up, fall in.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I told him I want to find the things in life.
At some point, he thinks I wanna live beyond our means. No,
that means you have to go out and help get
the finer things in life. But you ask him to
think bigger and he can't. If we have another mediocre Christmas,
he's gonna have a big problem. That's what I told him.
If we have another mediocre Christmas. We're gonna have a
(09:54):
big problem. He does nothing for me but exist in
the house with me. We to dream about having nicer things.
And now he's okay with the raggedy recliner he sits
in daily. What type of man doesn't have a vision
and want more for his family? Well, the one you married.
You don't need to look no further for who that
dude is he in your house? He and that recliner?
(10:16):
He forty one man. I don't get that, bro, and
life gonna come up on you quick. The Bible also
says a man without a dream of vision shall perish.
So you're gonna sit there wither away. Man, I've seen
it happen to a lot of people. I keep asking
him what has he done for me lately? But he
(10:37):
don't get it. Well, if you're asking him what he
did for you lately, he would You just said he
keep house clean. You just said he bring dinner home.
You just said his military check is great. He thinking
he didn't done enough. Well you're not happy. Sureley said
(10:58):
it best. Y'all need to say down. This is going
to be a difficult conversation. The only suggestion I could
give to you is, You're gonna have to hurt.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Him, hurt him, You're.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Gonna have to say, you know what, I really thought
you were a better man than this. Oh well, let
me retray you say that. I think you need to say,
you know what, m I just want to tell you
how disappointed I am, and then remind him of what
he used to do. I remember when you used to
(11:29):
dream of having nicer things, better things, bigger things like
That's who I was married to, and I thought that's
what we were gonna do. And it's absolutely surprising and
shocking me that you have settled into this life and
you don't want anything more. And I want to tell
you something that has really hurt me because I see
(11:51):
other people flourishing and I know I'm not going to
be able to do that. And I know you think
I want to live beyond our means. I don't. I
just want to create some more means, that's all. And
I thought it was with you, but I guess it's not.
So what am I to do? What am I to do?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
That's good?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Well, I guess I'll just sit here and watch everybody
else live they wonderful lives, and get.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Them Christmas coming up. What about the daughter with.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Are you gonna give me that same Are you gonna
give me that same little bit necklace? You always think that,
then you're gonna you're gonna let the baby keep driving
this ragged ass car. The baby don't Yeah, you know,
(12:40):
you know, she in college and she got this raggedy car,
and we keep putting money into a repairing and we
could just get a new you don't. I guess you
don't want that though. I just keep driving the ragged
ass car to the church and let the people look
Eastern dress I had on last.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Easton Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook and Steve Harvey FM,
and you can your letters too. Also check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Now, coming
up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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