Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, Jason, are you close?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm close.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Does your voice do that when you're close to you?
Go home? Oh that's right, you're a silent comer. Anyway,
here's the tangent play the intro. It's the tangent with
the bread show, giving you all the we couldn't talk about.
On air, Kaitlyn was saying that her friends your friend,
I mean, I'm talking about you like you're not here.
Your your friends apparently are now reading their porn.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Let's discuss. Let's discuss. No, no, no, what are you sorry about? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I didn't mean to cut you off, but I'm sick
of it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
So what is it? Okay? So first of all, how
does this come up? And like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So you know, I'm in the group texts? Too many
group text group chats, and.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You have too many damn friends and it's backfired on
you lately having to go to Brazil and this wedding,
that wedding, this money, that money, this drama, that drama. Right,
too many friends. This is why I keep my circle
tight because these people are not and they're kind of
not that cool. So we're not doing beer.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Like trimming it down because I like them all.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well, I don't worry. It kind of happens as you
get older on it so own sadly. But anyway, I
hate to say that, but so you're in the group chat.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah, I mean the group chat. This is also in person.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
But they read these like and I don't know if
you've heard of these these like they're they're fantasy, but
they're like, yeah, it.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Is a sorry, do you read your porn too?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
But I know exactly what you're talking about. Like the
guy like looks like Fabio on the cover, right, it's
not just that it's a fantasy naughty shit.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So it's like fairies fucking in a forest or like
nymphs or like weird shit and they're all into it.
What Yes, God, I wish I knew the examples of
the names. It's like sci fi but it's yeah, and
it's really odd. And then I saw someone post the
other day that they were reading it on a plane,
and saw someone else reading it on a plane and
gave each other a nod, like, yo, we're reading our porn.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Do they have like is it a physical book or
are they like reading this on a kindle or something?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Oh, I think some may have a know, but I've
seen physical books. I don't. I don't like sci fi
in itself, let alone. Like there's porn hub, like what
are you doing? And then when you're okay, so you
read your porn? And then because most people watch porn
for a.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Purpose, yeah like it like they do?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Right, Oh, oh you just watch it for hell? Okay,
Well I'm just thinking.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like watch it for hell?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Do you put the book down in like yeah, diddle,
Yeah they.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Do, because I'd be it'd be hard pressed to read
and diddle like, at least the video you don't have to.
It's mindless. I can just watch it and motivates me, right.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
They get horning or sometimes they'll like get their husbands
or boyfriends or whatever and diddle them.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
But I just I don't. Fairies fucking doesn't get me going.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
And I'm sick of them talking about no, and I'm
sick of them talking about it all the time, Like
did you do the you know, the whatever and the
trilogy of I don't know of.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Thorns and Roses? Oh, do you want me to have
some excerpts? Do you want me to read them?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
From a Court of Thorns?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
No? This is night after night by Lauren Blakely. Read
it to me, Read it to us. I mean this
is actually fucking filthy, It really is. He dove his
tongue inside her, setting off another shattering moan that was
music to his ears. She was quite an instrument to play,
so finally tuned, and if he touched her right, she
(03:12):
made the most glorious sounds, raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises
of pleasure. As he plundered her with his tongue. Wonder
she grabbed his hair, yanked and pulled him closer. As
he told her to do. He thrust one finger inside
of her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot
that turned her moans into one long, high pitched orgasm.
(03:35):
It's not that easy, did you find him? Yeah? A
cord of missed and fury, Yes, a wings and ruin
sex love repeat atonement.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But those are like people fucking, not the fairies and
the garden nymphs and the.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Gnomes protecting what's his by Tessa Bailey. I need this
last week.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
We needed this because I didn't know Texas banded porn hub.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Did you know that stopped that?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Did you try? I did?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And what does it say like you as you know
government Movement, x y Z, Bill Bob were.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Going to Texas. Yeah, I was like, were they all man?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I didn't know whach other one to try? Oh you didn't?
Why do you text me?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I needed this fread reading about plundering and except less.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Wait do you want to see if I find some
gay erotica for you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
My god, more than anything. I thought you'd never ask ye,
don't try to watch.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
That's that's the thing, isn't wait what.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You know what I'm saying? They banned it in the
big est state.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wow, what are you doing down there right now? That's
the thing. Like women, straight women like watching gay sex,
right or some do, because I've met a few straight
women who have told me that they like watching two
men get it on.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I haven't, but I would. I mean, I'll try anything here.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Uh No, it's a little harder actually to find. It's yeah,
gay men reveal the queer romance novels with the best
explicit scenes. I don't know, it's it's not as easy
to find.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Who's the guy who was married to Sophia Vergara? What's
his name? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
So he was on Watch What Happens Live and said
that he was in True Blood, and a lot of
fans write fan fiction about it, you know, so they
make a show even hornier. So a fan wrote him
this book and handed to him at this like convention
and the next day asked him if he liked it.
He's like, I loved it. The whole book was great,
he admitted he never read it.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Turns out when he read.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It, it was about him fucking the fan the whole time,
and like he told him, yeah, I love it, and
he's like, now, I don't know where he is, but
I told him I loved his Like gay erotica, I.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Mean, I don't mean to generalize, but I guess psychologically
or whatever it's it's been said that women tend to
be less visual like about these things than men, like
a little more mental about being turned on. I mean,
I guess it's more of a psychological thing for you
guys than it isn't Like, man, I think we just
look at people fucking and get turned on, and like,
I don't know, I don't even necessarily need to know
(06:03):
the person's name. Like, if there's a hot person there
and wants to have sex and I'm turned on, I
would probably have sex with them. I think a lot
of women are incapable of that. From what I understand,
most women I know are like, no, I gotta have it.
I need a little more than that, Like I need
a little more of an emotional connection. And so I
guess I can see why this literature works because it's
very sensual, I guess.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
But I don't need all those old timy words whatever
you said, and it's older.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Like the excerpt we just read was very female focused also,
which a lot of porn is not. A lot of
porn is like some you know, Johnny Sam's with a
four foot dick, like just you know, jackhammering these chicks
and you're going like, how on earth.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
That's why Bridgerton and Fifty Shades of Gray were popular
with the ladies because it was like, you know, you
don't often see us being pleasured in a way that's believable,
I feel like in porn.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So do you are you into it? Now? Are you
going to go start reading these books?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Absolutely fucking not. And I'm sick of them doing that.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That honestly might make my circle smaller because I can't
hear about whatever the tail of fire and ice or whatever.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Of thorns and roses I can't hear about it anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Is in the works to be a TV adaptation right now,
They're gonna all be horned texting me.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, I don't get into that fanciful shit either.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
I don't I know.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
And I tried to read. I tried to read. I
can't talk anymore. I'm out of words. I tried to
read fifty Shades of Gray, like the first one, he
goes there only one or a couple, I don't know.
But when it first came out and everyone was like
going crazy about it, I went and bought it, and
I'm like, okay, and I like laughed out loud several times,
like this is ridiculous. Yeah, like come on, you gotta
be kidding me with this. But I guess if you're
(07:38):
like I don't mean and again, don't mean to generalize
or stereotype, but if you're a housewife or you've been
married for a long time, you're not getting laid. You know,
life takes over, kids, work, whatever, or maybe maybe just
the effort isn't there anymore, and you read this stuff,
maybe it's a turn on because it's like, you know,
he was just doting over her.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It's a hot rich guy who has like a room of.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
He was obsessed with her. Yeah yeah, and you know
around I want that, right, I.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Would want that, But yeah I didn't. I don't like
to read my porn. It's it's not for me.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, I don't. I don't think it would do anything
for me. The other one I don't get, and again
i'm not. I'm not. I don't kink, shame, I don't judge.
But the like anime erotica, that's like cartoons sucking, I
really don't. I don't get that one, Like why don't
we just watch people? Do we have to watch cartoons?
Hot to me?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Do you like cartoons sucking?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No, no no, A couple.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Of people we work with you and I wish I
didn't wait really yeah? Oh yeah, oh come on now.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, I'll give you one out of three.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Guess this is you. I can think of too, right now?
Anime porn?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah wait? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Oh yeah? Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
We had a real drunk meal one time, and he
was saying, all over we were there, right, we were
playing Mary Kill.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Oh yeah yeah, how could I forget? Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Jason's coworker who he's in love with, shows to fucking
Ninja Turtle over Jason and.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
All, is that one of the anime port guys for sure?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Right next and then.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Least surprising, Actually you're right to the least to LEAs
surprising that yeah, you're okay, I guess right, yeah, when
you know, you know, I will.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Say, like sometimes important though, I would watch something that
like I wouldn't do in real life, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Like, I feel like sometimes if it's like the.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
More wild it is, like I'll still, like, you know,
do something dittle to it, but I wouldn't like necessarily
do it in real life.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Happened to me, Yeah, there's some gross stuff and again
not kink shaming, whatever you're into, but like, why didn't
I stumble on the other day? It was like, yes,
what did you start? Her name is cream Pie? Kathy?
Are you sure you stumbled upon the.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
High school?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I do love a cream pie, I mean the.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Next said jack off Jason over here.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That I think so. I think, especially as somebody who's
like not in a relationship and not you know, certainly
not wanting to have kids with anybody by accident, I
think it's just it's just taboo. It's it just it
feels a little dangerous. It also just physically feels better, yeah,
for whatever reason. But but like this was like a
gang bang, and like everybody got to go whoa and so.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Like oh my god, right, so like these pH so.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Like dude would go and then another guy would get
there and then in the same place where that guy.
So like they're all just they're all just basically like
covered in each other. It was discussing, like even even
I was like twenty minutes, I was like, how many.
(10:43):
I mean, really, Kathy, like everybody Kathy, I mean great
by Kathy. I mean you are living up to your name.
You really are. You are really a woman of your word,
aren't you that I'm grossed out in my I'm grossed
out if I'm aware. I won't even if I am
(11:04):
aware that a woman is intimate with another man and me,
I don't think, like I like in my head to
believe I'm the only one at a time, and I
know that's probably not true. But there's no way that
a dude could do that. And then I'm like, okay,
I'm next, and then just stick it in. There's no way,
like to me, that is just gross.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, I've heard I have a straight friend who like
is very much not homosexual at all, but he and
another guy friend did stuff to a woman they met
at a bar, but like never did stuff to each other,
so like they didn't consider it to be weird, but
like this this one lucky woman, they crosswords, they didn't
he said, they didn't touch or anything, and I'm like,
you could still get turned on.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I told you I went on a date with a
girl and on the first day she told me she
got Eiffel towered by two blackhawks, and I'm like, wow,
whoa like what? And then they did something else there
and then they didn't coke off of her afterwards, and
I'm just like, and it's just a long time ago.
I don't know who they were. I didn't ask any
more questional I got and she it was consenting, and
(12:09):
I mean, she didn't seem a shame by it. But
I got to wonder if these two guys were just like,
what can we get away with? I can't imagine they
had a lot of respect for her in this situation,
but she it wasn't you know, everybody would agree to it,
and it is what it is. But I'm like, I'm
still on the first date. You know, drinking my fucking
Moscow mule, And I'm just like, are you out of
your fucking mind right now? What are you? What are
(12:31):
why are you telling me this? Like?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
What did you ask her?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Though?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
To make her tell her?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I certainly didn't ask her a few black hawks. Iivil
towered her like, I mean, that's not what that's not
what came up.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Understand why wouldn't tell you?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Tell me all kinds of ship? And I can't blame
them because I typically am responsible for asking the question.
I just I don't know it. You guys know, I'm
morbidly curious. I like to I asked questions. I don't
want the answers to I do it at work. I mean,
all I do is try and extract him from from people.
It's what I do. I'm fascinated by people's answers. I'm
(13:03):
also fascinated by how far people will go and how
much they'll tell me. It is a it's a sick,
little twisted game. But the problem is it doesn't do
anything for me. Like, I don't like the answers. Correct,
It's not like I'm turned on by that. I was like,
oh fuck, really right.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So stop? Why are you being a masochist.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I don't know, I hate myself. I don't know, I really,
I don't know it's possible I hate myself. I'm not sure.
I mean, it's a fun game. It's honestly, it is
a little thrilling to see what people will tell you.
The problem is I don't need the information most of
the time. It kind of always ends badly. No, it
never ends well. No, I don't know if it's fun,
because that's not that's not one that you forget about. Unfortunately,
(13:41):
you know, that's not a visual that you get out
of your head.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No, and that's just for her. She should keep that
in her spank bank.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
No no, no, no, no no, it's a long time ago.
And yeah, but I'm just like, are you serious right now?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
I've been turned on a big hell.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, well, I feel towered and coked on off here.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yeah, that's a power play right there.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
But I would have to this, Maybe this sounds bad,
but I would have to really not care about the
person if I was doing well. No, no, you can't
waste good coke. But I've never done coke, so I
can make that joke. But I I just like, I
(14:21):
can't imagine having any emotion for a person that I'm
sharing with another man in any form. I just can't
it doesn't. It just really bothers me. I don't either.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I don't matter if you watch your girl fu it other.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Oh yeah, that's that's fine. I got I tell you
this much, though, if I'm being really transparent, I think
it might make me jealous if another girl is able
to get a reaction out of my girl that I can't.
I don't know that I would like that, So I
don't know. I just don't really like to fuck with that. Like,
(14:55):
let's just let's just be one on one, how about it?
How about we don't we don't I need other folks.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You and I, babe. Let's be traditional.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they can stay home.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
You were a frat You never did weird shit like that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No, no, no, I've had three sums, but it had
nothing to do with the fraternity. And by the way,
never never my idea, never my idea. There were girls.
It was two girls, and never my idea.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I think sometimes women like suggest that because they want
they're curious about being with another woman, but like that's
the easiest way.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I one hundred percent. It happened twice two different sets
of people, and I one hundred percent believe that that's
what it was these girls that one of the girls
wanted to get with the other one, and the other
ones like, oh whatever, okay, like Fred.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Go out there and make us a snack. I feel
like that.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Would go because it was all fun and games until
it came time because I was always dating, like not girlfriend, boyfriend,
but I was always more one was more invested in
me than the other, and it was all fun and
games until it became the other girl's turn, and then
it always got weird.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, Yeah, I don't recommend it. I think you've got
to be in a situation where like everybody's on the
same page, nobody cares about each other. Like yeah, I mean,
I don't know, maybe you got to go to like
one of those clubs or everybody does this stuff or whatever.
I don't know, because I just feel like somebody's got
more feelings than the other and somebody's not going to
(16:19):
like how it turns out.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I do want to go to one of those sex
clubs where like you hook up like with your person,
but like other.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
People are doing it around you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
A coworker of ours also told me that they go
to one of those and I, you know, like an orgy,
but like you're not doing stuff with other people like
they could like watch you or like you could watch them.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Wha, well I'm not allowed in there.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Oh yeah you can't. Yeah, I don't know. I feel
like I would be like I kind of want to
fuck her, oh the other person, Like I know, I
kind of I feel like I would be distracted by well.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
You watch porn kind of the same.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
It's not real though, Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm sure.
I don't know. No, I don't have to get back
to you in that one. I'm getting the lab and
think about it. Someone cream Pike, that's a real thing.
But you're welcome, cream Pike ee. But I was just like,
wait a minute, he's gonna do ah my god.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You were clutching your pearls.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And then I'm like, well, well he's like, what's the
cleanup on? Oh no, he just there is no There
was no cleanup on I all nine none zero. So yeah,
that was but I had to sit there and well,
how long is it going to go on? Right?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You do need to sometimes see how it went on.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
For quite a while. There were a lot of guys
that were what did you search for? And who wants
to be the last guy? I mean, I'll go first.
I guess I'm not going to go home, not my
you know, white Castle home reward myself. No, I don't.
I think. I think I searched cream Pie. And then
I mean, how could cream Pike Cathy not come up?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:54):
That's her thing.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I was at a sex show in Amsterdam and this
like woman's had a banana in her who ha.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
She also smoked a cigar out of her who ha.
That's a whole different things.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But she brought dudes from the audience up and we
pushed my guy friend up and he they all had
to take a bite out of the banana, and he
got the last one. No, no, no, no man traveling
the world, the wild, wild other places.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Nope, Nope, Okay, I gotta go. Okay, I cream by
Kathy's calling, I gotta go. She wants me to be
in your next feature film. Boy, I'm busy that too,
all right, Yeah, this got nasty and put it like
an NC seventeen actually making it like twenty one plus.
Warning on this one. I don't need it or fucking deleted. Yes,
(18:42):
that's fine too. This episode's brought to you by Cream
by Kathy. Bye, guys,
Oh, Jason, are you close?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'm close.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Does your voice do that when you're close to you?
Go home? Oh that's right, you're a silent comer. Anyway,
here's the tangent play the intro. It's the tangent with
the bread show, giving you all the we couldn't talk about.
On air, Kaitlyn was saying that her friends your friend,
I mean, I'm talking about you like you're not here.
Your your friends apparently are now reading their porn.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Let's discuss. Let's discuss. No, no, no, what are you sorry about? Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I didn't mean to cut you off, but I'm sick
of it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
So what is it? Okay? So first of all, how
does this come up? And like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
So you know, I'm in the group texts? Too many
group text group chats, and.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You have too many damn friends and it's backfired on
you lately having to go to Brazil and this wedding,
that wedding, this money, that money, this drama, that drama. Right,
too many friends. This is why I keep my circle
tight because these people are not and they're kind of
not that cool. So we're not doing beer.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Like trimming it down because I like them all.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well, I don't worry. It kind of happens as you
get older on it so own sadly. But anyway, I
hate to say that, but so you're in the group chat.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah, I mean the group chat. This is also in person.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
But they read these like and I don't know if
you've heard of these these like they're they're fantasy, but
they're like, yeah, it.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Is a sorry, do you read your porn too?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
No?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
But I know exactly what you're talking about. Like the
guy like looks like Fabio on the cover, right, it's
not just that it's a fantasy naughty shit.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
So it's like fairies fucking in a forest or like
nymphs or like weird shit and they're all into it.
What Yes, God, I wish I knew the examples of
the names. It's like sci fi but it's yeah, and
it's really odd. And then I saw someone post the
other day that they were reading it on a plane,
and saw someone else reading it on a plane and
gave each other a nod, like, yo, we're reading our porn.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Do they have like is it a physical book or
are they like reading this on a kindle or something?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Oh, I think some may have a know, but I've
seen physical books. I don't. I don't like sci fi
in itself, let alone. Like there's porn hub, like what
are you doing? And then when you're okay, so you
read your porn? And then because most people watch porn
for a.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Purpose, yeah like it like they do?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Right, Oh, oh you just watch it for hell? Okay,
Well I'm just thinking.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like watch it for hell?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Do you put the book down in like yeah, diddle,
Yeah they.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Do, because I'd be it'd be hard pressed to read
and diddle like, at least the video you don't have to.
It's mindless. I can just watch it and motivates me, right.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
They get horning or sometimes they'll like get their husbands
or boyfriends or whatever and diddle them.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
But I just I don't. Fairies fucking doesn't get me going.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
And I'm sick of them talking about no, and I'm
sick of them talking about it all the time, Like
did you do the you know, the whatever and the
trilogy of I don't know of.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Thorns and Roses? Oh, do you want me to have
some excerpts? Do you want me to read them?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
From a Court of Thorns?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
No? This is night after night by Lauren Blakely. Read
it to me, Read it to us. I mean this
is actually fucking filthy, It really is. He dove his
tongue inside her, setting off another shattering moan that was
music to his ears. She was quite an instrument to play,
so finally tuned, and if he touched her right, she
(03:12):
made the most glorious sounds, raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises
of pleasure. As he plundered her with his tongue. Wonder
she grabbed his hair, yanked and pulled him closer. As
he told her to do. He thrust one finger inside
of her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot
that turned her moans into one long, high pitched orgasm.
(03:35):
It's not that easy, did you find him? Yeah? A
cord of missed and fury, Yes, a wings and ruin
sex love repeat atonement.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
But those are like people fucking, not the fairies and
the garden nymphs and the.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Gnomes protecting what's his by Tessa Bailey. I need this
last week.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
We needed this because I didn't know Texas banded porn hub.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Did you know that stopped that?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Did you try? I did?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And what does it say like you as you know
government Movement, x y Z, Bill Bob were.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Going to Texas. Yeah, I was like, were they all man?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I didn't know whach other one to try? Oh you didn't?
Why do you text me?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I needed this fread reading about plundering and except less.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Wait do you want to see if I find some
gay erotica for you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
My god, more than anything. I thought you'd never ask ye,
don't try to watch.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
That's that's the thing, isn't wait what.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
You know what I'm saying? They banned it in the
big est state.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wow, what are you doing down there right now? That's
the thing. Like women, straight women like watching gay sex,
right or some do, because I've met a few straight
women who have told me that they like watching two
men get it on.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I haven't, but I would. I mean, I'll try anything here.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Uh No, it's a little harder actually to find. It's yeah,
gay men reveal the queer romance novels with the best
explicit scenes. I don't know, it's it's not as easy
to find.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Who's the guy who was married to Sophia Vergara? What's
his name? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
So he was on Watch What Happens Live and said
that he was in True Blood, and a lot of
fans write fan fiction about it, you know, so they
make a show even hornier. So a fan wrote him
this book and handed to him at this like convention
and the next day asked him if he liked it.
He's like, I loved it. The whole book was great,
he admitted he never read it.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Turns out when he read.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It, it was about him fucking the fan the whole time,
and like he told him, yeah, I love it, and
he's like, now, I don't know where he is, but
I told him I loved his Like gay erotica, I.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Mean, I don't mean to generalize, but I guess psychologically
or whatever it's it's been said that women tend to
be less visual like about these things than men, like
a little more mental about being turned on. I mean,
I guess it's more of a psychological thing for you
guys than it isn't Like, man, I think we just
look at people fucking and get turned on, and like,
I don't know, I don't even necessarily need to know
(06:03):
the person's name. Like, if there's a hot person there
and wants to have sex and I'm turned on, I
would probably have sex with them. I think a lot
of women are incapable of that. From what I understand,
most women I know are like, no, I gotta have it.
I need a little more than that, Like I need
a little more of an emotional connection. And so I
guess I can see why this literature works because it's
very sensual, I guess.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
But I don't need all those old timy words whatever
you said, and it's older.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Like the excerpt we just read was very female focused also,
which a lot of porn is not. A lot of
porn is like some you know, Johnny Sam's with a
four foot dick, like just you know, jackhammering these chicks
and you're going like, how on earth.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
That's why Bridgerton and Fifty Shades of Gray were popular
with the ladies because it was like, you know, you
don't often see us being pleasured in a way that's believable,
I feel like in porn.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
So do you are you into it? Now? Are you
going to go start reading these books?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Absolutely fucking not. And I'm sick of them doing that.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
That honestly might make my circle smaller because I can't
hear about whatever the tail of fire and ice or whatever.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Of thorns and roses I can't hear about it anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Is in the works to be a TV adaptation right now,
They're gonna all be horned texting me.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, I don't get into that fanciful shit either.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
I don't I know.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
And I tried to read. I tried to read. I
can't talk anymore. I'm out of words. I tried to
read fifty Shades of Gray, like the first one, he
goes there only one or a couple, I don't know.
But when it first came out and everyone was like
going crazy about it, I went and bought it, and
I'm like, okay, and I like laughed out loud several times,
like this is ridiculous. Yeah, like come on, you gotta
be kidding me with this. But I guess if you're
(07:38):
like I don't mean and again, don't mean to generalize
or stereotype, but if you're a housewife or you've been
married for a long time, you're not getting laid. You know,
life takes over, kids, work, whatever, or maybe maybe just
the effort isn't there anymore, and you read this stuff,
maybe it's a turn on because it's like, you know,
he was just doting over her.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It's a hot rich guy who has like a room of.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
He was obsessed with her. Yeah yeah, and you know
around I want that, right, I.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Would want that, But yeah I didn't. I don't like
to read my porn. It's it's not for me.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, I don't. I don't think it would do anything
for me. The other one I don't get, and again
i'm not. I'm not. I don't kink, shame, I don't judge.
But the like anime erotica, that's like cartoons sucking, I
really don't. I don't get that one, Like why don't
we just watch people? Do we have to watch cartoons?
Hot to me?
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Do you like cartoons sucking?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No, no no, A couple.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Of people we work with you and I wish I
didn't wait really yeah? Oh yeah, oh come on now.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, I'll give you one out of three.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Guess this is you. I can think of too, right now?
Anime porn?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah wait? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Oh yeah? Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
We had a real drunk meal one time, and he
was saying, all over we were there, right, we were
playing Mary Kill.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Oh yeah yeah, how could I forget? Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Jason's coworker who he's in love with, shows to fucking
Ninja Turtle over Jason and.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
All, is that one of the anime port guys for sure?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Right next and then.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Least surprising, Actually you're right to the least to LEAs
surprising that yeah, you're okay, I guess right, yeah, when
you know, you know, I will.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Say, like sometimes important though, I would watch something that
like I wouldn't do in real life, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Like, I feel like sometimes if it's like the.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
More wild it is, like I'll still, like, you know,
do something dittle to it, but I wouldn't like necessarily
do it in real life.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Happened to me, Yeah, there's some gross stuff and again
not kink shaming, whatever you're into, but like, why didn't
I stumble on the other day? It was like, yes,
what did you start? Her name is cream Pie? Kathy?
Are you sure you stumbled upon the.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
High school?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I do love a cream pie, I mean the.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Next said jack off Jason over here.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
That I think so. I think, especially as somebody who's
like not in a relationship and not you know, certainly
not wanting to have kids with anybody by accident, I
think it's just it's just taboo. It's it just it
feels a little dangerous. It also just physically feels better, yeah,
for whatever reason. But but like this was like a
gang bang, and like everybody got to go whoa and so.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Like oh my god, right, so like these pH so.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Like dude would go and then another guy would get
there and then in the same place where that guy.
So like they're all just they're all just basically like
covered in each other. It was discussing, like even even
I was like twenty minutes, I was like, how many.
(10:43):
I mean, really, Kathy, like everybody Kathy, I mean great
by Kathy. I mean you are living up to your name.
You really are. You are really a woman of your word,
aren't you that I'm grossed out in my I'm grossed
out if I'm aware. I won't even if I am
(11:04):
aware that a woman is intimate with another man and me,
I don't think, like I like in my head to
believe I'm the only one at a time, and I
know that's probably not true. But there's no way that
a dude could do that. And then I'm like, okay,
I'm next, and then just stick it in. There's no way,
like to me, that is just gross.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, I've heard I have a straight friend who like
is very much not homosexual at all, but he and
another guy friend did stuff to a woman they met
at a bar, but like never did stuff to each other,
so like they didn't consider it to be weird, but
like this this one lucky woman, they crosswords, they didn't
he said, they didn't touch or anything, and I'm like,
you could still get turned on.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I told you I went on a date with a
girl and on the first day she told me she
got Eiffel towered by two blackhawks, and I'm like, wow,
whoa like what? And then they did something else there
and then they didn't coke off of her afterwards, and
I'm just like, and it's just a long time ago.
I don't know who they were. I didn't ask any
more questional I got and she it was consenting, and
(12:09):
I mean, she didn't seem a shame by it. But
I got to wonder if these two guys were just like,
what can we get away with? I can't imagine they
had a lot of respect for her in this situation,
but she it wasn't you know, everybody would agree to it,
and it is what it is. But I'm like, I'm
still on the first date. You know, drinking my fucking
Moscow mule, And I'm just like, are you out of
your fucking mind right now? What are you? What are
(12:31):
why are you telling me this? Like?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
What did you ask her?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Though?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
To make her tell her?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I certainly didn't ask her a few black hawks. Iivil
towered her like, I mean, that's not what that's not
what came up.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Understand why wouldn't tell you?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Tell me all kinds of ship? And I can't blame
them because I typically am responsible for asking the question.
I just I don't know it. You guys know, I'm
morbidly curious. I like to I asked questions. I don't
want the answers to I do it at work. I mean,
all I do is try and extract him from from people.
It's what I do. I'm fascinated by people's answers. I'm
(13:03):
also fascinated by how far people will go and how
much they'll tell me. It is a it's a sick,
little twisted game. But the problem is it doesn't do
anything for me. Like, I don't like the answers. Correct,
It's not like I'm turned on by that. I was like,
oh fuck, really right.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
So stop? Why are you being a masochist.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I don't know, I hate myself. I don't know, I really,
I don't know it's possible I hate myself. I'm not sure.
I mean, it's a fun game. It's honestly, it is
a little thrilling to see what people will tell you.
The problem is I don't need the information most of
the time. It kind of always ends badly. No, it
never ends well. No, I don't know if it's fun,
because that's not that's not one that you forget about. Unfortunately,
(13:41):
you know, that's not a visual that you get out
of your head.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No, and that's just for her. She should keep that
in her spank bank.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
No no, no, no, no no, it's a long time ago.
And yeah, but I'm just like, are you serious right now?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
I've been turned on a big hell.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, well, I feel towered and coked on off here.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Yeah, that's a power play right there.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
But I would have to this, Maybe this sounds bad,
but I would have to really not care about the
person if I was doing well. No, no, you can't
waste good coke. But I've never done coke, so I
can make that joke. But I I just like, I
(14:21):
can't imagine having any emotion for a person that I'm
sharing with another man in any form. I just can't
it doesn't. It just really bothers me. I don't either.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I don't matter if you watch your girl fu it other.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Oh yeah, that's that's fine. I got I tell you
this much, though, if I'm being really transparent, I think
it might make me jealous if another girl is able
to get a reaction out of my girl that I can't.
I don't know that I would like that, So I
don't know. I just don't really like to fuck with that. Like,
(14:55):
let's just let's just be one on one, how about it?
How about we don't we don't I need other folks.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You and I, babe. Let's be traditional.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they can stay home.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
You were a frat You never did weird shit like that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No, no, no, I've had three sums, but it had
nothing to do with the fraternity. And by the way,
never never my idea, never my idea. There were girls.
It was two girls, and never my idea.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I think sometimes women like suggest that because they want
they're curious about being with another woman, but like that's
the easiest way.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I one hundred percent. It happened twice two different sets
of people, and I one hundred percent believe that that's
what it was these girls that one of the girls
wanted to get with the other one, and the other
ones like, oh whatever, okay, like Fred.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Go out there and make us a snack. I feel
like that.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Would go because it was all fun and games until
it came time because I was always dating, like not girlfriend, boyfriend,
but I was always more one was more invested in
me than the other, and it was all fun and
games until it became the other girl's turn, and then
it always got weird.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, Yeah, I don't recommend it. I think you've got
to be in a situation where like everybody's on the
same page, nobody cares about each other. Like yeah, I mean,
I don't know, maybe you got to go to like
one of those clubs or everybody does this stuff or whatever.
I don't know, because I just feel like somebody's got
more feelings than the other and somebody's not going to
(16:19):
like how it turns out.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I do want to go to one of those sex
clubs where like you hook up like with your person,
but like other.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
People are doing it around you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
A coworker of ours also told me that they go
to one of those and I, you know, like an orgy,
but like you're not doing stuff with other people like
they could like watch you or like you could watch them.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Wha, well I'm not allowed in there.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Oh yeah you can't. Yeah, I don't know. I feel
like I would be like I kind of want to
fuck her, oh the other person, Like I know, I
kind of I feel like I would be distracted by well.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
You watch porn kind of the same.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
It's not real though, Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm sure.
I don't know. No, I don't have to get back
to you in that one. I'm getting the lab and
think about it. Someone cream Pike, that's a real thing.
But you're welcome, cream Pike ee. But I was just like,
wait a minute, he's gonna do ah my god.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You were clutching your pearls.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And then I'm like, well, well he's like, what's the
cleanup on? Oh no, he just there is no There
was no cleanup on I all nine none zero. So yeah,
that was but I had to sit there and well,
how long is it going to go on? Right?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You do need to sometimes see how it went on.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
For quite a while. There were a lot of guys
that were what did you search for? And who wants
to be the last guy? I mean, I'll go first.
I guess I'm not going to go home, not my
you know, white Castle home reward myself. No, I don't.
I think. I think I searched cream Pie. And then
I mean, how could cream Pike Cathy not come up?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:54):
That's her thing.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I was at a sex show in Amsterdam and this
like woman's had a banana in her who ha.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
She also smoked a cigar out of her who ha.
That's a whole different things.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But she brought dudes from the audience up and we
pushed my guy friend up and he they all had
to take a bite out of the banana, and he
got the last one. No, no, no, no man traveling
the world, the wild, wild other places.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Nope, Nope, Okay, I gotta go. Okay, I cream by
Kathy's calling, I gotta go. She wants me to be
in your next feature film. Boy, I'm busy that too,
all right, Yeah, this got nasty and put it like
an NC seventeen actually making it like twenty one plus.
Warning on this one. I don't need it or fucking deleted. Yes,
(18:42):
that's fine too. This episode's brought to you by Cream
by Kathy. Bye, guys,
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