It’s Not About the Sex

After 6 years, 128 episodes and 60 guests, the podcast is winding down. It’s a bittersweet moment to say goodbye and to express gratitude to everyone involved in this collaborative experience. Although the podcast is ending, it will be available indefinitely on most platforms as well as www.westsidetherapist.com. Andrew and Sue thank all of you from the bottom of their hearts, and don’t forget, to stay connected.

In Chapter 10 of Andrew’s workbook he investigates sexual health through a non- pathologizing, destigmatizing lens. Themes include: defining sexual health, reviving pleasure and fantasy as an ally. This candid conversation takes a look at the intersection of 12 step recovery and sexual health as we open up a larger dialogue to exploring your authentic sexual self. Give yourself a few minutes to listen to this heart-ce...

In this episode we turn the tables on our podcast producer, Sue Merlino to discuss her services called Clear Pathways. With a combination of coaching and organizing one’s physical space, Sue describes the valuable benefits to all of us, including those struggling with addiction or emotional challenges. In addition to walking clients through organizational skills, Sue also provides time management and mindset coaching ...

If you scratch the surface of compulsive sexual behavior, you’ll find intimacy avoidance. In this powerful episode, Susskind and Merlino look through the lens of attachment as they discuss the challenges and opportunities related to truly receiving love in recovery. With a focus on avoidant and anxious attachment styles they discuss the often-misunderstood term love addiction as well as the possibility of utilizing ob...

In this podcast we welcome Stefanie Klein, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, NARM Master Therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Consultant based in Los Angeles who shares a refreshing take on shame through the lens of the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). You will learn about shame as a verb rather than an emotion and how it functions as an adaptive process. Because shame is universal to all human be...

Following the subjects from Chapter 8 in The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook, Andrew and Sue explore themes of long-term recovery including purpose, spirituality and legacy—all in the context of Positive Psychology and deeper soul-searching. How do spirituality, religion and purpose intersect with one another? Or not? Asking the bigger questions and staying away from exact answers is where the internal work begins. Tu...

Tim Harrington, founder of Family Coaching Services joins the podcast as he addresses the following topics: building a meaningful life post-recovery, especially by emphasizing healthy relationships, self-discovery and aligning actions with deeper values. Based on a depth of personal and professional experience, Tim offers practical steps for creating a more satisfying and purposeful recovery as well as addressing the ...

In this episode we take a closer look at Chapter 7 of Andrew’s workbook and examine some of the essential ingredients of contentment including gratitude, connection and unconditional love. Distinctions are made among the terms joy, happiness and contentment as we discuss core values, visioning and purposeful goals. Listen to this optimistic episode as you choose to enhance contentment in your life and recovery.

Rafael Cortina, a San Diego-based therapist joins the podcast to discuss some of his valuable and wise perspectives on healing from addictive, compulsive behaviors. He shares the following themes: the functional understanding of addiction, the interwoven nature of trauma and addiction, the necessity of curiosity from both the therapist and client as well as “relational space healing”. Check out this refreshing convers...

During this conversation Andrew and Sue take a deeper dive into Chapter Six Feeling the Feelings from The It’s Not About the Sex Workbook. Maybe it looks simple on the surface, but Andrew highlights the sustainable benefits of deeper emotional awareness and expression. With an emphasis on anger, hurt, fear and loneliness, we explore the feelings language that is often missed in childhood. Take a listen and see that it...

In this episode we welcome Katie Griffin, a nationally-recognized group consultant and leader in the field. She brings her passion and enthusiasm to other practitioners and believes firmly in the power of group to help individuals become more fully alive. In this candid and revealing conversation Katie takes a closer look at sexual identity development in sustainable recovery as a portal to deeper understanding of one...

Andrew and Sue discuss Chapter Five, Regulating the Nervous System from Andrew’s recent workbook. Beginning with a memoir snapshot and ending with practical strategies and action steps, they explore the following themes: following the rhythm within, identifying regulation and dysregulation, utilizing the Window of Resilience, and naming attachment styles and how they correlate with nervous system regulation. Check out...

In this episode we welcome Dr. David Fawcett, a clinical social worker, sex therapist and two-time author specializing in chemsex and problematic sexualized drug use. Often a misunderstood form of suffering, David disentangles the complexities of these intertwined behaviors. With effective clinical strategies and decades of experience, David helps us understand a path to recovery based on a clear, effective approach. ...

Today we welcome Jean Campbell, the CEO of Action Institute of California to talk with us about psychodrama, sociometry, resourcing, and Somatic Experiencing—all in the context of compulsive sexual behavior, addictions in general as well as trauma. With 30 years of expertise, Jean brings together groups of people to heal from their broken-heartedness. She can be reached at www.theactioninstitute.com or actioninstitute...

In this episode we examine Chapter Three of Andrew’s workbook as we encourage curiosity and non-judgment about shame. Although shame never goes away entirely, you can respond to it differently. In this discussion we explore the following: building shame resiliency, taming the inner critic and practicing mindful self-compassion. Tune in to see how shame can be normalized and diminished in your life and recovery.

On today’s episode we warmly welcome back clinical psychologist Joni Lavick, who is a seasoned expert on attachment theory and its applications. In this informative conversation we cover the following: the history of attachment theory, misconceptions, how to understand your own patterns, and the correlation between attachment strategies and addictive behaviors and more. Please tune in to this...

Grief and loss is often overlooked or avoided in our society. Andrew and Sue take this opportunity to delve into this often-misunderstood topic of grief and loss and its implications on long-term recovery from sexual compulsivity. Andrew shares a “memoir snapshot” as well as specific practices to consider using toward living more peacefully and openheartedly with the inevitable losses that come with being human.