March 31, 2025 • 17 mins
We spoke with Founder of Inclusive Together Lauren Tarzia about having a child with autism.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guest this morning as Lauren Tarzia, founder of Inclusive Together.
Good morning, Lauren, Good morning. For people who don't know
about Inclusive Together, give us a little bit about it
and then we'll delve deeper into it.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So, Inclusive Together is a nonprofit here in Mutine, Connecticut,
and we were started to create more medual opportunities for
our nerdivergence and disabled community. There's really not a whole
lot of opportunity for our nerd diversion and disabled community here.
(00:37):
You know, when I am a mom of an autistic
eight year old, and when I started going around and
trying to find things for him to do, like you know,
just different classes, music, lessons, Jim, you know whatever, it
really was recreation wise, it was very limited. And the
inclusive opportunities that were out there, they weren't really exactly
(01:01):
very meaningful for him or they really weren't appropriate for him.
It was all well meaning, you know, having you know,
some adaptive classes here and there. But you know, I
I quickly noticed that you know, these teachers, they they
really don't understand what inclusion is or you know, how
to adapt their class to meet a child like my
(01:24):
son's needs. So I created Inclusive Together to create more
awareness of autism and other neurodivergence. I also am just
trying to get the community to have more opportunities with
within you know, businesses and different programming. I do a
(01:49):
lot of education and training of people who really have
no idea what autism is or what you know, what
sensory processing disorders are, and how that can really impact
people who live in this community.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So what is your web address?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
It's Inclusive Together dot org.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
How long ago was it created?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
We created it well, it was called the Rosie Road
when I started it back in October twenty twenty three,
and then I it was started out as a support
group for special needs families, and I quickly realized that
it was a lot more that needed to be done
(02:34):
than just having support for these families, you know, just
you know, having social events and you know, getting together.
It really wasn't enough. There really needed to be a
lot of change in how people were perceiving autism and
disability in this area, particularly on Fairfield County that I
live in. And so we decided to change our name
(02:57):
to Inclusive Together. We decided to change our mission a
little bit there, deciding to really become connectors and advocates
and educators bringing more awareness to the community so that
they could so that are disabled and our neurodivergent community
could have more accessibility and really feel like they belong
(03:19):
in the community. So that's when we started changing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Tell me about some of the events that you have.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So some of the events that we have right now
are to bring parents and their children together and mostly
sensory friendly environments. So we have partnerships with different businesses
that we can create the sensory friendly activities. For instance,
we have one with guy Zone in Norwalk and that
(03:51):
is a sensory friendly jumping event and it is just
for you know, our community, but anyone is you know,
welcome to come. However, it is tailored so that it
is you know, no no music's on, less people and
it is also just there's a place for people to
(04:12):
have a sensory right if they need one. We also
have partnership with the Yonta where we also have a
sensory friendly events that go on there. We also do
a lot of playground meetup where people parents can get
together and meet one another. The other events that we
(04:32):
do are to advocate and educate the community, one of
them being a some panel discussion. There's a really a lot,
there's lots more parents to learn about, especially special education
and finding the right services for their child. It's a
really tough journey and it is there is no map,
(04:55):
there is no one telling you which way to go.
So we do try to provide as many resources as
possible to help our families navigate special education. So those
are just some of the activities that we do. And
then we have just started our training of different stakeholders
(05:18):
in our community, one of them being our local movie
theaters who have undergone our neurodiversity and sensory accessibility training
and now they are having sensory friendly screenings one time
a month. That is the Playhouse fen on the Lab
in Ukraine, and we just hope that more local theaters
(05:41):
will also reach out to us and do the same thing.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So how can people get involved our businesses or organizations
for that matter.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
They can reach out to us and tell us that
they would like to have our training. We will come
to them and all of our trainings are very personalized
and they are they are adapted to that particular space,
you know, just like just like in special education, everything
(06:11):
is you know, very individualized, and you have to you
can't have like a one size fits all approach when
training businesses about neurodiversity and sensory processing and accessibility for
that matter. You you really do need to have a
personal relationship with these businesses and these organizations so that
(06:33):
they can feel empowered to, you know, take on some
of these different accommodations, and you know, we teach them
about what sensory overload is. We play really strong videos
that kind of encapsulate what it might feel like to
have sensory overload, and it's always very powerful for them
(06:53):
to see those videos because then they get a better
sense of why this is so important. So we start
to teach them about how they can change their environment
to be more welcoming to people who do have these
sensory challenges. And these sensory challenges can be so debilitating
(07:15):
that they caused so much anxiety and going out into
the world. And if our neurodivergent and our disabled community members,
if they knew that this place was a safe place
and that they were going to be you know, accommodations
put in place for them, they might be more apt
to go out to these places and then you know,
(07:36):
these businesses were also their productivity will increase as well,
and the community itself will be just so much more
accepting and willing to do more inclusive types of practices.
It just really creates a better feeling and camaraderie amongst
the community.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Absolutely. I mean, my heart goes out to any parent
who's their child suffering with something, but to have to
stay home all the time because you're afraid that if
you go out, if something triggers them, and then it
aggravates everybody. You know, my heart goes out to the parents,
it goes out to the child. It's very difficult. So,
like you said, these organizations, these businesses, I know that
(08:18):
the Hartford wolf Pack had a sensory night where you know,
they didn't have the lights and the loud music. So
I see what you're aiming for, and I think it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, thank you, Yeah, you know, you just one of
the memories I have. You know. So, my son Nikki
is he's eight years old now, and I do think
one of the things that I've actually been having conversations
about with the organizations and businesses that I do trainings
(08:49):
with They really do want to know how can how
can I help a parent? If I see a parent struggling,
how can I help them? I tell them all the time, though,
like if you do see a parent struggling, and you
do you know, I don't use doesn't NERO divergent or not.
(09:09):
You know, it's always good to go and ask how
can I help you. I can't tell you how many
times I've been out. I was out in the public
with NICKI like at a at a store, or you know,
in the mall, or even just you know, in a
gym class that he was in and I was struggling
with him, and it was it was so hard because
(09:31):
nobody could really understand what was going on with him.
It wasn't that he was being a naughty kid and
not a boddler. It was he was having sensory overloads.
I was in this grocery store one time. We had
never I had to bring. I had to stop and
get something to eat, but like a rotisserie chicken. And
at the time I had my other son who was
(09:53):
nine months old, and you know, Nicky was like just
you know, just about to turn three. And we went
into the score store that we had never been in before.
I just had to go in though and get a chicken,
and he could not take it. He was falling to
the floor the whull time, you know, screaming, yelling, crying.
(10:14):
There was just times where like, you know, I was
trying not to, you know, have to fit that they
pick him up, but I but I really had to
and had to basically at that point put him in
the car and just you know, bring him through the
store while he was screaming. And we were in the
line to check out, and he was still screaming and
just answering, crying and solving, and there were people behind me.
(10:38):
It was a long line, and I could not I
couldn't find my credit card at the time, and my
and Nicky was trying to get out of the cart,
and I was trying to, you know, physically help him
while this line going on, and literally I could hear
someone behind me going, looks like somebody needs a map,
you know, And then the employee at the checkout line
(11:01):
that can you hurry it along here? Do you not
see that there's a whole line of people behind you?
And he was scolding me for it, honey, seeing that
I'm struggling. I think awful.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
They are so lucky I wasn't in that line that
day and the ignorance. God will bless you as this mommy.
I can't cry because I just got lash extensions and
they're going to fall out. But you love your child
so much. And I can't believe how insensitive people are
because let's just say your child wasn't on the spectrum.
(11:38):
Let's just say this child's tired and it's screaming. You're
on an airplane.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
What are you going to do.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's a child, it's a baby. They're crying. There's just
suck it up, Buttercup, it's life. Oh I can't stand that.
I'm so sorry. So again, God bless you and your patience.
And you know the fact that you started this organization,
that you choose to love these children. You know I
had to pray every night. Please let me want to
be around them. They drove me crazy, you know what
(12:06):
I mean. And they weren't on the spectrum and they
drove me nuts. But again, I just want to I
just applaud you and whatever you believe. There's no coincidences
that you were chosen to be the mommy of these children.
And so you're taking what you've gone through and now
you're going to say to others, I've been where you are,
(12:27):
this is what worked for me. Don't lose hope. I've
got you, and it's it's really awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I really just want to get out there and just
let parents know that it's okay to talk about these
things too. I really want to bring this point up
to you know, I live in Fairfield County. I live
in Lower Faircial County, and you know that it is
pretty well known that this is, you know, very affluent
(12:57):
county and there's a lot of very wealthy people who
live here, very highly educated people, and yet we have
the least amount of resources for people with disabilities and
for our neurodiverging community. It is incredible to me. I
look at the statistics and and I can't believe it.
I looked at we found some statistics about this and
(13:21):
it was through the Department of Developmental Services and chart
Department of Disability Services, and I couldn't believe it. So,
you know, Hartford had the most and Fairfield County has
the least. And it definitely is true because when I
was trying to find things for Nikki to do. I
(13:43):
found myself having to drive, you know, out of Hartford County,
you know, to Litchfield County to Middlesex County where they
had more resources, where they had more activities that were
meaningful and adapted for you know, kids like my son,
and I'm just like this, this can't be like, we
have to do something about this. And what I noticed
(14:05):
was it was really because of our perception of autism,
because of our perception of disability, it's really become you know,
stigmatized as this very negative thing. You know. I worked
in the public schools for a very long time. I'm
also a license a certified and licensed speech language pathologist,
(14:26):
and I worked in the school for so long and
I remember, like I was, I worked with the preschoolers,
and I remember when we would get a kid and
we were, you know, very we were going towards that
route of evaluating them for autism. You know, just sitting
these parents down who are hearing that you know, let alone,
(14:47):
something is you know, going on with their child and
then they're not developing, you know, as typically as they
should be. You're sitting down and also telling them we
makes me think that they may be autistic, you know,
of course they feel like they've gone to the firing squad,
like there, you know, the whole life is over. And
the way that we were presenting it was just not right,
(15:07):
you know, it was it was just a very you know, scary.
It was a scary thing to go through. Where I
think that the way that we have to prevent autism too,
you know, the whole community is that it's a brain difference.
It's not. It's not you know, the end of life
if you have autism, you know, it's it's just the
(15:27):
fact that these these artistic people just have a different
way of seeing the world and feeling the world. And
once you can understand how they see the world and
how they feel the world, then you know, it really
isn't that big a deal. It's like, wow, okay, it's
actually kind of cool. You know, it took me. It
took me so long to realize that. As a special educator,
(15:52):
I thought the goal for all of my students was
to create therapy that would make them seem quote unquote
normal or more typical. That was the goal, you know,
I was comparing them to typically developing kids. You can't
do that when there's a brain difference. You can't compare
(16:14):
this brain to this brain when they're completely wired differently,
you know, So it's just very much, you know, I
had to change the way I looked at that. When
I had Nikki, I was trying to make him, you know,
a typical child, trying to get him to do these
things that he just cannot understand and his brain just
(16:36):
won't allow him to do. And I was fighting it
for so long, and then I realized, I can't change
the fact that he's autistic. So let's just embrace who
he is. Let's embrace how his brain works. And ever
since I did that, my whole life completely changed. My
(16:57):
relationship with Nikki changed. And guess what he is like
the happiest, sweatest, most loving kid. He's as autistic as
it gets. You know, there's all different, you know, types
of autism. Really, there's you know, people who need really
high supports and people who really don't need that much support.
But with Niki, it's just he is who he is,
(17:20):
and that love and that joy that he shows to everyone.
I don't think it would be there if I haven't
just let him be who he is.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I'm speaking with Lauren Tarzia, founder of Inclusive Together. What
does that web address again?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
It's www dot Inclusive Together dot org and that two
is actually a number two, So just so people.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Know, thank you so much for being here today and
for sharing your story and for trying to help others
who appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Thank you, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
Good morning. Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guest this morning as Lauren Tarzia, founder of Inclusive Together.
Good morning, Lauren, Good morning. For people who don't know
about Inclusive Together, give us a little bit about it
and then we'll delve deeper into it.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So, Inclusive Together is a nonprofit here in Mutine, Connecticut,
and we were started to create more medual opportunities for
our nerdivergence and disabled community. There's really not a whole
lot of opportunity for our nerd diversion and disabled community here.
(00:37):
You know, when I am a mom of an autistic
eight year old, and when I started going around and
trying to find things for him to do, like you know,
just different classes, music, lessons, Jim, you know whatever, it
really was recreation wise, it was very limited. And the
inclusive opportunities that were out there, they weren't really exactly
(01:01):
very meaningful for him or they really weren't appropriate for him.
It was all well meaning, you know, having you know,
some adaptive classes here and there. But you know, I
I quickly noticed that you know, these teachers, they they
really don't understand what inclusion is or you know, how
to adapt their class to meet a child like my
(01:24):
son's needs. So I created Inclusive Together to create more
awareness of autism and other neurodivergence. I also am just
trying to get the community to have more opportunities with
within you know, businesses and different programming. I do a
(01:49):
lot of education and training of people who really have
no idea what autism is or what you know, what
sensory processing disorders are, and how that can really impact
people who live in this community.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So what is your web address?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
It's Inclusive Together dot org.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
How long ago was it created?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
We created it well, it was called the Rosie Road
when I started it back in October twenty twenty three,
and then I it was started out as a support
group for special needs families, and I quickly realized that
it was a lot more that needed to be done
(02:34):
than just having support for these families, you know, just
you know, having social events and you know, getting together.
It really wasn't enough. There really needed to be a
lot of change in how people were perceiving autism and
disability in this area, particularly on Fairfield County that I
live in. And so we decided to change our name
(02:57):
to Inclusive Together. We decided to change our mission a
little bit there, deciding to really become connectors and advocates
and educators bringing more awareness to the community so that
they could so that are disabled and our neurodivergent community
could have more accessibility and really feel like they belong
(03:19):
in the community. So that's when we started changing.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Tell me about some of the events that you have.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
So some of the events that we have right now
are to bring parents and their children together and mostly
sensory friendly environments. So we have partnerships with different businesses
that we can create the sensory friendly activities. For instance,
we have one with guy Zone in Norwalk and that
(03:51):
is a sensory friendly jumping event and it is just
for you know, our community, but anyone is you know,
welcome to come. However, it is tailored so that it
is you know, no no music's on, less people and
it is also just there's a place for people to
(04:12):
have a sensory right if they need one. We also
have partnership with the Yonta where we also have a
sensory friendly events that go on there. We also do
a lot of playground meetup where people parents can get
together and meet one another. The other events that we
(04:32):
do are to advocate and educate the community, one of
them being a some panel discussion. There's a really a lot,
there's lots more parents to learn about, especially special education
and finding the right services for their child. It's a
really tough journey and it is there is no map,
(04:55):
there is no one telling you which way to go.
So we do try to provide as many resources as
possible to help our families navigate special education. So those
are just some of the activities that we do. And
then we have just started our training of different stakeholders
(05:18):
in our community, one of them being our local movie
theaters who have undergone our neurodiversity and sensory accessibility training
and now they are having sensory friendly screenings one time
a month. That is the Playhouse fen on the Lab
in Ukraine, and we just hope that more local theaters
(05:41):
will also reach out to us and do the same thing.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
So how can people get involved our businesses or organizations
for that matter.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
They can reach out to us and tell us that
they would like to have our training. We will come
to them and all of our trainings are very personalized
and they are they are adapted to that particular space,
you know, just like just like in special education, everything
(06:11):
is you know, very individualized, and you have to you
can't have like a one size fits all approach when
training businesses about neurodiversity and sensory processing and accessibility for
that matter. You you really do need to have a
personal relationship with these businesses and these organizations so that
(06:33):
they can feel empowered to, you know, take on some
of these different accommodations, and you know, we teach them
about what sensory overload is. We play really strong videos
that kind of encapsulate what it might feel like to
have sensory overload, and it's always very powerful for them
(06:53):
to see those videos because then they get a better
sense of why this is so important. So we start
to teach them about how they can change their environment
to be more welcoming to people who do have these
sensory challenges. And these sensory challenges can be so debilitating
(07:15):
that they caused so much anxiety and going out into
the world. And if our neurodivergent and our disabled community members,
if they knew that this place was a safe place
and that they were going to be you know, accommodations
put in place for them, they might be more apt
to go out to these places and then you know,
(07:36):
these businesses were also their productivity will increase as well,
and the community itself will be just so much more
accepting and willing to do more inclusive types of practices.
It just really creates a better feeling and camaraderie amongst
the community.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Absolutely. I mean, my heart goes out to any parent
who's their child suffering with something, but to have to
stay home all the time because you're afraid that if
you go out, if something triggers them, and then it
aggravates everybody. You know, my heart goes out to the parents,
it goes out to the child. It's very difficult. So,
like you said, these organizations, these businesses, I know that
(08:18):
the Hartford wolf Pack had a sensory night where you know,
they didn't have the lights and the loud music. So
I see what you're aiming for, and I think it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, thank you, Yeah, you know, you just one of
the memories I have. You know. So, my son Nikki
is he's eight years old now, and I do think
one of the things that I've actually been having conversations
about with the organizations and businesses that I do trainings
(08:49):
with They really do want to know how can how
can I help a parent? If I see a parent struggling,
how can I help them? I tell them all the time, though,
like if you do see a parent struggling, and you
do you know, I don't use doesn't NERO divergent or not.
(09:09):
You know, it's always good to go and ask how
can I help you. I can't tell you how many
times I've been out. I was out in the public
with NICKI like at a at a store, or you know,
in the mall, or even just you know, in a
gym class that he was in and I was struggling
with him, and it was it was so hard because
(09:31):
nobody could really understand what was going on with him.
It wasn't that he was being a naughty kid and
not a boddler. It was he was having sensory overloads.
I was in this grocery store one time. We had
never I had to bring. I had to stop and
get something to eat, but like a rotisserie chicken. And
at the time I had my other son who was
(09:53):
nine months old, and you know, Nicky was like just
you know, just about to turn three. And we went
into the score store that we had never been in before.
I just had to go in though and get a chicken,
and he could not take it. He was falling to
the floor the whull time, you know, screaming, yelling, crying.
(10:14):
There was just times where like, you know, I was
trying not to, you know, have to fit that they
pick him up, but I but I really had to
and had to basically at that point put him in
the car and just you know, bring him through the
store while he was screaming. And we were in the
line to check out, and he was still screaming and
just answering, crying and solving, and there were people behind me.
(10:38):
It was a long line, and I could not I
couldn't find my credit card at the time, and my
and Nicky was trying to get out of the cart,
and I was trying to, you know, physically help him
while this line going on, and literally I could hear
someone behind me going, looks like somebody needs a map,
you know, And then the employee at the checkout line
(11:01):
that can you hurry it along here? Do you not
see that there's a whole line of people behind you?
And he was scolding me for it, honey, seeing that
I'm struggling. I think awful.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
They are so lucky I wasn't in that line that
day and the ignorance. God will bless you as this mommy.
I can't cry because I just got lash extensions and
they're going to fall out. But you love your child
so much. And I can't believe how insensitive people are
because let's just say your child wasn't on the spectrum.
(11:38):
Let's just say this child's tired and it's screaming. You're
on an airplane.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
What are you going to do.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's a child, it's a baby. They're crying. There's just
suck it up, Buttercup, it's life. Oh I can't stand that.
I'm so sorry. So again, God bless you and your patience.
And you know the fact that you started this organization,
that you choose to love these children. You know I
had to pray every night. Please let me want to
be around them. They drove me crazy, you know what
(12:06):
I mean. And they weren't on the spectrum and they
drove me nuts. But again, I just want to I
just applaud you and whatever you believe. There's no coincidences
that you were chosen to be the mommy of these children.
And so you're taking what you've gone through and now
you're going to say to others, I've been where you are,
(12:27):
this is what worked for me. Don't lose hope. I've
got you, and it's it's really awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I really just want to get out there and just
let parents know that it's okay to talk about these
things too. I really want to bring this point up
to you know, I live in Fairfield County. I live
in Lower Faircial County, and you know that it is
pretty well known that this is, you know, very affluent
(12:57):
county and there's a lot of very wealthy people who
live here, very highly educated people, and yet we have
the least amount of resources for people with disabilities and
for our neurodiverging community. It is incredible to me. I
look at the statistics and and I can't believe it.
I looked at we found some statistics about this and
(13:21):
it was through the Department of Developmental Services and chart
Department of Disability Services, and I couldn't believe it. So,
you know, Hartford had the most and Fairfield County has
the least. And it definitely is true because when I
was trying to find things for Nikki to do. I
(13:43):
found myself having to drive, you know, out of Hartford County,
you know, to Litchfield County to Middlesex County where they
had more resources, where they had more activities that were
meaningful and adapted for you know, kids like my son,
and I'm just like this, this can't be like, we
have to do something about this. And what I noticed
(14:05):
was it was really because of our perception of autism,
because of our perception of disability, it's really become you know,
stigmatized as this very negative thing. You know. I worked
in the public schools for a very long time. I'm
also a license a certified and licensed speech language pathologist,
(14:26):
and I worked in the school for so long and
I remember, like I was, I worked with the preschoolers,
and I remember when we would get a kid and
we were, you know, very we were going towards that
route of evaluating them for autism. You know, just sitting
these parents down who are hearing that you know, let alone,
(14:47):
something is you know, going on with their child and
then they're not developing, you know, as typically as they
should be. You're sitting down and also telling them we
makes me think that they may be autistic, you know,
of course they feel like they've gone to the firing squad,
like there, you know, the whole life is over. And
the way that we were presenting it was just not right,
(15:07):
you know, it was it was just a very you know, scary.
It was a scary thing to go through. Where I
think that the way that we have to prevent autism too,
you know, the whole community is that it's a brain difference.
It's not. It's not you know, the end of life
if you have autism, you know, it's it's just the
(15:27):
fact that these these artistic people just have a different
way of seeing the world and feeling the world. And
once you can understand how they see the world and
how they feel the world, then you know, it really
isn't that big a deal. It's like, wow, okay, it's
actually kind of cool. You know, it took me. It
took me so long to realize that. As a special educator,
(15:52):
I thought the goal for all of my students was
to create therapy that would make them seem quote unquote
normal or more typical. That was the goal, you know,
I was comparing them to typically developing kids. You can't
do that when there's a brain difference. You can't compare
(16:14):
this brain to this brain when they're completely wired differently,
you know, So it's just very much, you know, I
had to change the way I looked at that. When
I had Nikki, I was trying to make him, you know,
a typical child, trying to get him to do these
things that he just cannot understand and his brain just
(16:36):
won't allow him to do. And I was fighting it
for so long, and then I realized, I can't change
the fact that he's autistic. So let's just embrace who
he is. Let's embrace how his brain works. And ever
since I did that, my whole life completely changed. My
(16:57):
relationship with Nikki changed. And guess what he is like
the happiest, sweatest, most loving kid. He's as autistic as
it gets. You know, there's all different, you know, types
of autism. Really, there's you know, people who need really
high supports and people who really don't need that much support.
But with Niki, it's just he is who he is,
(17:20):
and that love and that joy that he shows to everyone.
I don't think it would be there if I haven't
just let him be who he is.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I'm speaking with Lauren Tarzia, founder of Inclusive Together. What
does that web address again?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
It's www dot Inclusive Together dot org and that two
is actually a number two, So just so people.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Know, thank you so much for being here today and
for sharing your story and for trying to help others
who appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Thank you, thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.
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