How to Be an Adult

How to Be an Adult

Do you find yourself wishing that your parents had taught you more about how to take care of yourself, your emotions and your health? This show offers practical guidance for outwardly successful but inwardly lost adults like you. It’s the philosophy of life that you should have received when you turned 18, but didn’t. Each episode attempts to arrive at principled answers to a single question about how we might find happiness and peace. We are driven by a mission to democratize self-assurance.

Episodes

July 22, 2026 44 mins

“Just be yourself!” We’ve all heard this platitude, but without specific instruction in what it means, the advice is rather useless. In this solo episode, Luke breaks down how to be yourself, and six enemies of your authentic self:

  • Being authentic as an adult means embracing your individuality rather than compromising your values, thoughts, or feelings to meet external standards or please others.
  • Individuals ...
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If you’ve ever heard the clichéd phrase, “take care of yourself,” you might have been flummoxed about how, especially if your needs were unmet in early life. Yet, as Luke will argue in this episode, taking care of yourself is a defining feature of adulthood: at last, you have a capable guardian. We shall use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a framework:

  • As adults, we serve as our own primary caregivers, r...
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Good sex is not an accident: it happens deliberately. In this dual-hosted episode of How to Be an Adult with Luke and Kate, we strip away the cultural noise to look at the reality of physical intimacy. We break down what it actually means to be present with another person and how to engage in the unapologetic, shameless exchange of mutual pleasure:

  • We define good sex as a mutually pleasurable, safe, and relaxing activity that ...
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In the second of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, Luke shares what he has learned about outerwear, accessories and how to put together an outfit:

  • For cold weather, invest in a quality wool overcoat such as a Chesterfield, polo coat, or balmacaan to wear over suits, and consider a trench coat or barbour coat for shoulder seasons.
  • While often criticized, a high-quality fedora made of fur felt i...
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If you’ve been following our social media, you might have noticed that Luke has been dressing better in recent months. In the first of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, he shares what he has learned about how to dress like a white-collar office professional in 2026 and beyond:

  • Luke discusses how to curate a professional, intentional, and classic male work wardrobe, emphasizing that cloth...
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When current events are so constantly upsetting, how do we remain informed without descending into despondency? In this timely episode, Luke shares how he consumes the news while remaining hopeful:

  • It’s possible to be well-informed without succumbing to stress or doomscrolling, which means you don’t have to choose between being informed or being comfortable.
  • To avoid filter bubbles created by social media algorithm...
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At some point, we must all take our first jobs. In this solo episode, Luke speaks about how to get the most from yours, from the perspective of a small business owner:

  • To excel in your first job, view it as a resume building project, focusing on the value you create which should exceed your salary.
  • Understand that jobs are created when there’s enough work and revenue to hire someone. Your compensation is based on the val...
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In this conversational episode, Kate and Luke discuss how to overcome procrastination, based on their personal experience, as well as professional work with hypnotherapy clients.

  • Procrastination originates from the Latin word procrastinus, meaning ‘of tomorrow,’ highlighting the tendency to defer actions to a future time.
  • Living with the knowledge of future consequences (e.g., dirty dishes, laundry) can motivate p...
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December 19, 2025 34 mins

If you’ve accomplished enough with your life, and you’re very self-critical at the same time, you will probably feel at some point that you’re an impostor or a fraud. This is a pretty good sign that you aren’t. In today’s episode, we’ll explore why, and what to do about that awful feeling:

  • Imposter syndrome is common among intelligent, high-achieving individuals who feel like frauds despite ...
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On November 5, 2025, the tranquility of our hypnosis office was broken by a clash between two student groups, Students Supporting Israel and Students for Justice in Palestine, from Toronto Metropolitan University. After a window was broken and the protesters were forced out, five arrests were made, and the police chief says that more charges are coming.

If you’ve seen the videos posted on social media, you might have seen our...

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Chances are, there isn’t a revolution coming, and you’re going to be living in a capitalist society for the rest of your life. Now what? In this solo episode, Luke shares eight principles for adapting to (indeed, thriving in) the economic system that our listeners live in:

  • Capitalism is a system where private property and corporations own the means of production, and winning at it means accumulating enough capital ...
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In this episode co-hosted by Luke Chao and Kate Voss, we discuss how we might maturely relate to time. It’s less about time management, and more a philosophy of how one might make the most out of your 16 waking hours in a day:

  • Time management is crucial for adults to balance work, leisure, and personal growth, with each person having about 16 waking hours a day to allocate.
  • Elon Musk’s time management strategies, s...
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Most of our anxiety comes not from what actually happens, but from what we imagine might happen in an uncertain future. In this solo episode with Luke Chao, he speaks about how to face the future with clarity:

  • The things you’re stressed about today will likely be handled by your future self with the maturity and experience of that age.
  • Life’s uncertainties are like driving on a winding road; you don’t need to...
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Kate is the newest member of our team at The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis, and in this episode, she and Luke discuss some of the hallmarks of a successful relationship. We offer suggestions for listeners at every stage in their relationship journey:

  • Successful relationships begin with a positive relationship with oneself, characterized by self-love and self-respect.
  • The “four C’s” of relationships—clari...
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The questions we ask ourselves determine which thoughts subsequently enter our minds. If we ask ourselves about counterfactual scenarios, our mind floods with counterfactual scenarios. If we ask ourselves about reassuring truths, we find reassuring truths, almost as though we were typing a query into a search engine. This episode is about how to ask yourself the second type of question.

  • Good questions can lead to productive th...
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This timely episode tackles an important topic that I’ve tried a few times to speak about. For the half of the population who are male, how are we supposed to “be a man”? In this episode 23, I make an attempt to answer this question using the same analytical lens through which I’ve dissected how we are all supposed to “be an adult.”

  • The concept of masculinity is evolving, and traditional def...
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February 16, 2025 22 mins

We all know that we should forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but until somebody teaches you how, the path to redemption isn’t always obvious. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means when you’re feeling guilty or ashamed, and what to do about it.:

  • Remorse serves to reflect and improve oneself to avoid repeating past mistakes.
  • Guilt arises from specific wrongful actions, while shame is a deeper...
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This episode is for all the recovering people-pleasers out there. If you feel like it’s hard to say “no” in an unfair situation, I’m going to give you a moral framework that lets you to speak your mind and simultaneously feel like the hero in the story of your life… at the same time!

  • We start by recognizing the false morality instilled during childhood that suggests being agreeable equates to bei...
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We’ve recently heard of a trend of young people avoiding the news entirely to preserve their mental health. In our view, this is unnecessarily self-defeating, because it’s possible to be informed and happy at the same time. In this episode, we share how:

  • It is possible to stay informed about world events while also prioritizing mental health, debunking the notion that one must choose between the two.
  • Each person ca...
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In one of our most focused episodes to date, Luke deconstructs the notion of perfection and suggests achiveable standards, such as authentic self-expression, that are still worth striving toward:

  • Perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable standard that no one can truly achieve, even in simple tasks like drawing a perfect circle.
  • Holding yourself to a standard of perfection is unnecessarily cruel and prevents you from being ...
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