Parenting The Socially Phobic & Avoidant Adult

When I started my psychotherapy practice in 1978, I was doing biofeedback and psychotherapy for stress related disorders to empower patients to heal without medication or to get off medication. Forty-five years and over 60.000 clinical hours later I have discovered there are high performance strategies to incorporate pharmaceuticals into the treatment process. This discussion with Dr. Mathew Lorber MD is the first in a series of in...

“We feel we gave birth to a whole new person”

"Sophie" never talked in school until 4th grade. No one heard her voice besides parents, grand- parents, and sister. Mom said "we would do anything to set her free; nothing worked". Now it's "overwhelmingly positive". This interview highlights the reality that in most cases one to one counseling with a young child with selective mutism is unproductive. ...

When considering treatment for social and performance anxiety thoughtful evaluation would say that a model adapted to the specific needs of this specific anxiety is productive rather than trying to fit the condition into rigid restrictive existing models; most noticeably the nonsensical promises and absurd research perpetuated by the CBT community. I want to be very clear. Behavior and cognition are very important variables to cons...

Think of the last time someone tried to engage your child verbally and there was no response. As a loving parent you want to rescue your child from the stress of this kind of encounter. You probably experienced your own discomfort and anxiety, which typically results in the reflex of rescuing your child (and yourself) by talking or thinking for the child. The “freeze the moment” technique is employed to break the reflex of the chil...

This is the perfect interview for people who think and wish that the young child will simply outgrow selective mutism. “Mike”, a 35-year old with SM and social anxiety describes his “avoidance of talking” because he thought “he had nothing to say”. He eventually learned this was not true as his belief and behavior were manifestations of obsessive compulsive disorder . Mike describes how the insidious nature of selective mutsim beca...

"It was like a miracle."

This interview highlights a comprehensive treatment process, which occurred via telephone and skype. The father describes the steps of The Berent Methodology including; productive diagnostics, empowering parenting, “processing”, which is the challenging, but profoundly important task of helping the child identify thoughts, feelings, and reasoning skills at age appropriate levels. This pro...

Numerous variables can enable primitive functioning, which is defined as “spending the minimal amount of energy required to sustain a baseline lifestyle”. “Baseline” refers to substantially substandard emotional growth and development. In this case the variables include learning challenges which drove performance anxiety, family distress and divorce, fragmented parenting, and an overall compulsion on the patient’s part to detach fr...

Welcome. This is Jonathan Berent. I’m going to tell you the real story about social anxiety. You are not going to hear the real story anywhere else. I guarantee you that! This is a deep dive into a complex subject the reality of which remains very misunderstood… so let’s get clinical!

KENDRA age 46, mother of two, is a world renown physician who has headed numerous clinical trials and has saved many lives. She suffered fro...

Anger and rage occur at different levels of consciousness. Anger is energy. Unresolved; it recycles and drives obsessive worry , anxiety, and a myriad of problems from substance dependence to pain. Internalized anger causes depression. While it may sound a bit weird, repressed anger is the core emotion which drives panic. “Eric” describes the “energy” of his anger as it relates to anxiety and depression with insight into the social...

Kirk Rueter was a pitcher in the major leagues for 13 years. He won the most games as a lefthander for the San Francisco Giants. He and his wife Karla had two wonderful children. One had selective mutism. In this stimulating, realistic, and frank interview, the Rueters describe, in detail, their treatment experience. After non-productive encounters with previous therapists, which is very common, therapy with Jonathan was initiated ...

With special insight into the avoidance-dependence dynamics of a close knit and loving family, “David” describes his struggle with learning disabilities, social anxiety, phobic avoidance, and eventual success. David’s healing journey evolved from hiding in his dorm room in college; not going to classes, alone and depressed, and avoiding all social interaction to obtaining an advanced degree, becoming an administrator in a mental he...

The older the child, the more that selective mutism becomes ingrained into the personality and lifestyle. It can evolve into a developmental challenge as many aspects of maturation are impacted. In this case avoidant personality disorder was in full swing concurrent with an underlying depression. This was driven by social anxiety. In this case, the teenager was a B student who was on the high school golf team. He was an excellent g...

The last thing 16 yr. old “Arthur” wanted was to go to therapy when he was in the midst of his school phobia. This social anxiety-driven problem had persisted since elementary school. He spent his days depressed; in his room playing computer baseball. His only friend was his cousin. His parents “didn’t know what to do”, but they learned how to enlist him in treatment. In this interview Arthur describes his metamorphosis into a “soc...