Functional Idiots Podcast
Greetings! My name is Colton, and along with my friend Dillon, we will give you our opinions on weird news stories from the previous week or so, along with stories and other interesting news from the past week. Make sure you bring your sense of humor and leave your offensiveness at the house, because this is a no hold punches podcast, and very little is off limits.
Episodes
Hey everyone, different format this week as it's more of a conversation rather than scripted, and boy lemme tell ya, we touched on a lot of things. To find out what, you're just gonna have to listen. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and ...
In this 30th edition of the Functional Idiots Podcast, you will hear us react to someone with a weird smelling addiction. A legendary segment returns after a few month absence, although the ever popular pornstar birthdays is always here to give everyone good entertainment. Expensive food at the F1 Grand Prix in Miami has us dumbfounded, and the richest "homeless" person you've ever heard and so much more are in this train wreck of ...
**MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!** Although, being the functional idiots we are, we didn't tease it at all in the episode, but trust us, it's in there. But while you wait for the announcement sometime in the episode, you can hear our thoughts on the Stanley Cup Playoffs, pulling cast iron out of our legs, someone who is addicted to eating the Earth, sort of, a priest with a gambling problem, and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epide...
Do you wanna liven up your sex lives ladies? Well, we have the perfect remedy for you in this episode, but it is a bit fishy. Also, someone with an interesting eating addiction, and a new segment called Functional Idiots Answer, and so much more on this 28th edition of the Functional Idiots Podcast. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Phi...
In this 27th edition of the Functional Idiots Podcast, you will hear our opinions on common sense, or the lack thereof. Also minimum wage is discussed. When is too old to still shower with your children, a bogus charity in Florida, pornstar birthdays, and a lady from Michigan who is addicted to cleaning products. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped i...
**MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT** In this episode, you will hear our major announcement that we teased last episode, so give it a listen to know what it is, although the eagle eye listeners of you may already know what it is. You will also hear our frustrations with some sporting leagues, falling off a ledge, a Bible slap, and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Mu...
In this barrel of laughs on an episode, you will hear somebody with a little bit of an "out there" addiction. Also, our thoughts on instant replay in sports, some wild functional idiots of the week, some massive irony, and a new way that kids are getting high. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy an...
Back again eh? Well in that case, here is a long one for you listeners as in this one, you will hear our opinions on tipping in America, a literally puma, lazy ass workers, cockfights, pornstar birthdays, trivia, and much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace <...
Once again, back with another episode of the Functional Idiots Podcast. In this episode, you will hear our thoughts on electric cars, oil pipelines, somebody with an oddball name, a woman with a fresh breath addiction, pornstar birthdays and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy and Bri...
You want some crazy. with a side of lunacy? Then boy howdy do we have the episode for you! In this 22nd episode, you will hear about a nude cruise, balls out bowling, more pain in the ass car repairs, pornstar birthdays, more oddball addictions and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy ...
In this rambunctious episode, we talk about dumb customers, eating raw meats and dudes in the nude. Also, pornstar birthdays and drinking a little something something to help freshen breath, skin, and to feel more alive. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So ...
In this loaded episode, you will hear about Dillon's recent trip to Chicago, just to get laid. Sticking watch batteries where they don't belong, a sausage fight in Florida, along with pornstar birthdays, and the reimagined version of What Are You So Mad About? and much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
- ...
Probably one of our best episode yet! In our glorious return after a 2 week absence, we talk about why we missed the last 2 weeks, along with the the struggles of using dating apps. A new format of What Are You So Mad About? hopefully to more entertain the masses. Trucker Thoughts makes a return with some hard hitting questions, and the always funny Pornstars Birthdays is here to make sure your weekends are busy. Enjoy!
Music lic...
Ready to laugh your ass off? Good! Because this episode is a certified banger. From debating over what the best cereals are, to Dillon's addiction to a video game, which leads to us coming up with the best porn movie name in history. You will also hear us talk about a Florida man calling in a threat, a Detroit man wanting to join the mile high club, Lake Superior State's banned words of 2024, the state of Mississippi being a pain i...
In this episode, we discuss our unpopular opinions, along with the many changes in football coaches. Dillon is on the hotseat for trivia. What Are You So Mad About makes a return after, and the ever hilarious real life GTA server never disappoints. Enjoy!
In this glorious episode, we talk about how dumb the Oklahoma Toll Road system is, and Dillon's co-worker buying and drinking breast milk. We also have some Trucker Thoughts to help give you an extra laugh, along with trivia, the Dumbassery Report, and of course, Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Happy New Year! Welcome to 2024 and episode 15 of the Functional Idiots Podcast! In this episode, Dillon is on the hot seat for trivia, we give our thoughts on GMOs in food, along with the marketing of organic foods. Am I The Asshole makes a return after a significant hiatus, and the ever popular Pornstar Birthdays is here to wrap things up. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decad...
Merry Christmas everyone! In this episode, Dillon goes on a tirade about people using public restrooms. Also, 5-Cent Advice makes a return, and a we also go over some fantastic reviews that people have left on things. I make a fool out of myself changing my trucks spark plugs, and yes, we still did pornstar birthdays. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Scor...
Hello everybody! In this episode of Functional Idiots Podcast, What Are You So Mad About makes a return, as well as Pornstar Birthdays, and Master-Debaters. We also reworked some segments with some different names to reflect the shows new name, and we hope you enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Scorpions - Bonnie Grace
- Find My Boy and Bring ...
Greetings fellow Stupid-holics! We are back after a week off due to prior plans, but we've returned back with a banger. In this episode, we give our opinions on religion, and some of the associated issues with it. We also touch on reasons to leave wild animals alone, along with some of the dumbest newspaper headlines imaginable. Of course, everyone's favorite segment, Pornstar Birthdays, is included, because why wouldn't it. Enjoy!
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