December 23, 2024 • 60 mins
In this classic episode, Karen and Chris welcome actor and comedian Oscar Montoya to chat about hot improv, pancake shoes and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
we want to be there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
time and a terminol and gay.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We want to send you off in style. We wanna
welcome you back home.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We scared or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need ride?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris, our our guests today, Hi
clubs and goes across the country.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
We were looking for somewhere more dimly lid, for.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
The full of fresh as treaty as possible.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Let's yeah, start with the normal stuff. What's what's in
the bag and give it to us now. Oscar Montoya
everyone put.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Hi, Oscar, thanks for doing this with.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Us, Thanks for having me?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, Car, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I have to get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You have to get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Why because Elon Musk is a straight up Nazi.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Like there's just no we it. You can't laugh it.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Off, like have you fought about and I've seen this
like it's always fun to me. I there was a
Bentley that put a Honda emblem on it, which is
kind of the opposite, and I would see it all
the time in Venice. It was really funny to me
that that person did that because it was a beautiful car.
And then they're like, it'd be funny if I pretended
(02:24):
this was you could do that.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
You could just put a Volkswagen logo on it.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Okay, perfect, Yeah, Just let everybody just ye be like, no,
you're the one that doesn't understand I am not a
white supremacist.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Why I decide whether or not I.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Then maybe don't put Volkswagen. That was a bad example.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
That's the worst case scenario.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I think that people would get what you're saying, though
if you covered it up, it'd be like, Okay, I
get it.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Then you're like, oh here it's a Ford. Nope, that
that one's bad too.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
What all cars are bad? Carts are bad.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I look at the Calvin stickers out there these days, all.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Of them, everything was right, pee.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
On all the cards. That's what we need for four.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's what we all have to start doing.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
For golden showers for the car guys.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Is that a high school soccer game or is it
a leak soccer game?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
It is it's like a high school. They have a
game every single night, it feels like, and they are loud.
They are loud, and they love to sing songs really
about soccer. No turn turned out for what Oh Flowers
Miley Cyrus I heard. I'm like, this doesn't feel like
a high school song.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Wow. So not Josh Jams Volumes twelve. That's great.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, we loved your neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Before you got in the car, we were talking about
your neighborhood, but it was thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
The beautiful Uh what are what's that style of it ran? Victorian?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yes, yes they are yes, Victorian houses. Yeah, there's a
bunch of beautiful houses here very close by. They shot
the show Charmed. Yeah, they have the outside door. I've
never My friend was visiting from Chicago and she was like,
you gotta take me to the Charmed house. She got
and I was like, okay, I've never seen the show. Yeah,
(04:23):
i go to what I assume is the Charmed House
because I'm like, Okay, this is kind of big and spooky.
She's taking pictures of it, that's so to speak. The
next day, when she flies back to Chicago, she's like, Oscar,
that wasn't the charmed house.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Why did you tell me?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Wait? So did you just kind of make it up?
You're like, it must be this one.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, I googled, I was like charmed house, and it
showed me the address. So I went and it's actually
the house that was next door. It wasn't as impressive
as the house that we shot. So I was like,
this is the.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
House you're talking about exactly where I live. And I
when I do cameos, I drive around and I gave
have a tour of these houses. There's the Thriller house,
which has been burnt I think from arson, but someone
every time I drive by, there's like a quivering curtain
(05:11):
and there's someone that lives.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
In there that doesn't turn on any lights.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Really why did they buy it? Then?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Uh, he's got good songs now, I think.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
And then if you don't want people taking pictures.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Right, But on that street there are renovated beautiful houses,
beautiful like one is all black with like gothic there's.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Like I think that's the one I took pictures of.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Yeah, that street is the street that boasts the most
Victorian beautiful home.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
There's a plaque, isn't there a Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:47):
And and hitching posts for horses are shaped like horses heads,
you know, because downtown people used to ride horses to work.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Sure, come home.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
To their drafty old house and yell at their family.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Maybe that's what you should do, is just buy a horse,
the ultimate hipster move horse.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Like I've been seeing in my neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
A lot of dudes with cowboy hats and and and
cowboy boots.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I think you should just outdo.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Them all and actually just ride a horse on sunseide.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, what are people going to say?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
They can't say shit, They can't shit.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
You want to be riding a tesla instead, That's what
he'll say.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
The funniest thing, though, is there are so many tesla's
in Los Angeles, Like there's just it's nice to know
that there's like twenty thousand people also in this very
awkward position.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
It's like, what are you a fucking Nazi?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
That guy right there, Yeah, hey, and he's guiltier than
I out.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Everyone thought the problem would be throwing away the battery.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But no, there's worse problems now. Yeah, Oscar, what's going?
How was your Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
It was great, It was relaxing. I spent it with
a friend who insisted on cooking everything, so there was
no stress for me to prepare any food, and I
just went and ate.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
That was intering. That's a dream come true.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
How was your Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Mine was the same? It was.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I spent it with two friends who insisted on cooking everything,
my dad and my sister, and I get away with
so much in my family, but that one is the
biggest that I really I do convey my appreciation.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
But my dad was a.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Fireman in San Francisco, so you you have to know
how to cook in a firehouse. You yeah, because you
trade off different nights being responsible for making food. So
if you suck, everyone will hate you and be mean
to you. So you have to be good at cooking.
And basically, guys learn from the senior guys all the
good recipes and the good stuff. So my dad's a
(07:53):
really good cook, and then my sister is really really
good cook. So I just kind of sit back and
like I'm like, hey, can I get some popcorn? Like hey,
I just make requests and act like like I'm the guest.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Honestly, that's the dream. That's that's what we want.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It's pretty nice.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Chris. What about you? How is your things.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
It was.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
I have never been responsible for the food, and I
swear I'm not doing it on purpose, but I I
ate I did the wrong thing where I didn't prepare
my stomach elasticity, and I really was having problems in
a guest. As a guest, I talked too much about
(08:33):
medical things. I'm trying to avoid the specifics, but we
all know what happened.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I had a little problem.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
But Oscar doesn't know either of us.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I did I do that thing.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I do that thing where I'm like, good to me too,
let's talk about diarrhea, and I did.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I'm sorry, as her, very sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's okay, but it.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Was the best. Yeah, I've I still have leftovers. I
got this.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
That's the one thing I usually you don't get when
you're a guest, get sent home with leftovers.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
So I really that is nice.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Scored this year, I've been eating Thanksgiving food for all week.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah, for the rest of the year.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Yeah, it's frozen like a dead deer in my walking freezer.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
More turkey, more turkey. I do love. I love Thanksgiving.
I really love.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Thanksgiving as a holiday because it's well for me, absolutely
no stress whatsoever. But I love the Thanksgiving dinner meal.
I could eat that once a week. Yes, it's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
What is your favorite Thanksgiving like dish? Are you a
turkey freak? Are you like a sides person?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You know what I am.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It's a it's basically a combination of that. I'm a
combo bite make the perfect bite person. Oh yeah, and
then I do that until my stomach explodes because you
just keep making the perfect bite and it gets and
you refine it and you get it better, and then
you have a bite of your roll or whatever.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Yeah, just different shades of beige and I yeah. And
the only thing that breaks through is the thing I detest,
which is that cylinder car, that gelatinous cranberry.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Like disagree?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I love it. We that's we have to have it.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say, Chris, you are the
odd person out here because I also love a cranberry.
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
What's wrong with me.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
It's a deal breaker.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I don't like the juice. If someone spent some.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Cranberry juice, you're the most versatile of the juice.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
For years. Because I know it is versatile.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Every other fruit company, they literally have franchised that thing
past the point of spider death, like you.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Can get any.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Kind I know, And I guess my opinion changed on
it when I stopped drinking copious amounts of.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Vodka with.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
I am not I have had when someone really gets
creative and knows what they're doing with cranberry, like where
there's twigs in it and stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I like that twigs, you know, where it's full cranberry
berries with.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
The shells and that.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
No, No, that's shooting.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
That's a bad decision, you guys.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
So you're arguing rather than for homemade cranberry sauce, you
want the gelatinous cylinder from a can.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yes, the crime, lock me up, Chris.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
That it's a shape like a can that you slice
it on the can lines. So here's here's eight thin
pieces and now here's a big fat piece in the
midd because that's what the can shape.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Do do it?
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Do you use it?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Kind of?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
No? I don't like it, And I know our listeners
are all saying that most people are on my side
right now.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Please, we're going to we're gonna work social media for
this one.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, like we ever have before. We're going to post
a pold I guess.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
And I've never I guess sound like the combination.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
I don't need it as a condiment, like where it's like,
oh I need a little cranberry on my turkey. I
think other people if I did that, I would want it.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
But I just it's all beige all day.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Really.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Yeah, like a like a group of people in a cult.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
What's your favorite food, Chris food?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Oh boy, I mean I think and if I'd hate
to just steer away from Thanksgiving meals, but I do
believe it's ramen. Oh yeah, I'm a hot soup guy.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Oh my gosh. I know it's surprising.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
I would to say when I need something brought to
my house and I realized there's no food.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It's my go to, Oscar, what's your go to when
you need hot food and brought to your house?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
When I need hot food, I'm brought to my house.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I was brought to my house.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I'm a Thaie food sort of sort of person. Yeah,
I like a pat. I'm a I'm a basic noodle guy. Yeah,
a pets you or a pat tie is always my
go to. It's delicious. What about you?
Speaker 5 (13:19):
Do you ever in our neighborhood go to? It's Thai
homesterrant of course it's name.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
There.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
It's not a house stant it's a home.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It's a home.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Did I say house?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
No? No, you know it's like the I.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Mean this house draw. Let's make this house drawn a homestrung.
That's right, that's right, that was their mission.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I love it. And there's no one ever there.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No one is.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
I feel like I'm the only person ever there.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yes, I'm like, is this a front for something?
Speaker 5 (13:48):
They're always happy to see me. If it's a front,
I want to Yeah, a lookout. Just give me free noodles.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Mule for those people if you care so much about
their cooking. I like type food because you can be
doing all the carbs of Chinese food, but you're telling
yourself you're getting all these.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Vegetables my god, yeah, totally right, right.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Just because there's something leafy resting on top.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, there's some sliced up carrot. So you're like, oh
my god, I'm practically vegan.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah. My brain does a trick where it's like, oh,
you're eating healthy because it's not Chinese food. Yeah, weird,
it's being a weird. What is this frozen and Incanto
Disney on ice? Oh you are you seeing this.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
This is new Disney. You have a podcast where you
talk about Disney.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Reach yes, yes, wait wait talk to us about that.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Okay. So I when I moved to Los Angeles, I
was very i'll say it, weirded out by Disney adults.
I didn't, I don't, I don't really, I didn't get it.
I was a little like gassholders, what's going on here?
Because I'm from New York, so and like Disney people.
There's not a lot of Disney adults in New York.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
There's not a lot of Disney vibes in New York exactly. Yeah,
that's actually anti New York vibes in my opinion.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I agree, I agree. So when I moved here, I
was a little weird about by Disney dolson. I was
like I Also, I was raised in Colombia, in South America,
so I missed the big Disney craze of the nineties.
I wasn't. I didn't grow up with like Hercules or
et cetera, et cetera. So I've only seen two Disney
movies ever. Oh and wow, So my friend Claire, who's
(15:28):
the co host, took me to Disneyland to be like, huh, right,
and I was like, Okay, this is kind of cute. Okay,
but I don't understand any of these references.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Oh wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
So I was like, why don't we just start a
podcast where I watch every single Disney I love that movie.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
I love knowing that that I that's amazing because any
appreciation I have for Disneyland, it's just me remembering going
on the Pirates to the Caribbean Ride or whatever as
a kid, and I'm nostalgic for it, right, And when
you go into the Tarzan Treouse, which used to be
the Swiss Family Robinson one, I have vivid memories of
being in there as a kid. It was really important
(16:05):
to me that being said, I am not a Disney adult,
and do not call me that. Okay, it's okay, but
you I love that you're starting from scratch.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, well, we watched all of them mission completely. We
finished it, and we watched every pixarm We watched every
single Disney Channel original movie as well.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
The first feature Fantasia.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
The first feature is Snow White and really yeah, it's
the very first animated feature film ever.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It is.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, okay, it's never been done before. People called Walt
Disney a kookie crazy man for doing it, for doing it,
for freezing his head, his frozen head directed.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
It was the original premise of Frozen, but.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
That's scary for.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Originally pitched this frozen head.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I fully agree with you, and I have known several
Disney adults in my life, and at least one of
them was also a sociopath.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
So it is a strong vibe.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Strong vibe, and it also for a couple of them.
I was just kind of like this. This to me
feels like I had a friend who is obsessed with
Star Wars and he was like when I was eight
years old, I got brought to Star Wars and halfway
through the film broke and he goes, So I'm now
obsessed with it because I can't get that day back
(17:36):
and that's his whole life.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But he knows it, he's fully aware of it.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I feel like Disney adults have no idea what the
problem is and they don't want to know, and they're
upset if you say that could possibly be why?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yes, wow, you know, yes. I mean like it's it's
there's like rings, right, It's like Dante's Inferno, right, and
there's like the Disney adults who like, are the cis
hetero heterosexual couples that go there. They were like, I'm
his and she's mine, sort of like Mickey mouse finger
glove pointing thing, which.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Here's a cursive embroidery on our hats.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yes, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
And then you have you know, the Disney Gaze, which
is another earth.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Oh yeah, you know it's a scene.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
It's a oh it's a it is a scene, an
aggressive scene. It's gay men uh in their thirties, usually
bearish bearded.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Who like, just live at Disneyland and it freaks me out.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
But you know, because of the plush clad mascots are
do you think any furries go there.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm sure they must sneak in some cuddles, but I
don't think those costumes are furry.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I mean if I don't know, if they get.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That they all have an as flap on them. I
don't know. You have to really look.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
It's about crow, but it's seamless and easy to access.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Most of the kids don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I was just built in.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
It's the easiest way to get into the costume.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Now. But you're right, it's like, how much fur like
quantifies you a fer.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and is that would a free be offended that
I would even suggest that, because it's like, that's not
what it's about.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I'd love to hear but true thinking about because I'm
just thinking. The reason I even was able to say
that was because I've recently accidentally slipped into an area
of TikTok, which is just little children dressed as characters
at Disneyland being spotted by the character they're dressed as. Yeah,
and it is like the most immediate dopamine crying for
(19:51):
no reason, like weirdest thing that I basically spent too
much time watching, and now the algorithm things, I fucking
love it.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, so I do.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
It's almost like I shouldn't say such judgmental things about
Disney adults because maybe I have a part of that
inside me. She could be you can have that dormant
gene reading to get activated.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
We're in traffic right now, we're gonna have a hard
edge to us. But when my nieces, who are now
in their first year of college, when they dressed like
little princesses and you can go to Disneyland and they
get to meet all the princesses and it is they
were freaking out, like it is the coolest thing that
(20:36):
I would think I wouldn't appreciate, but once you see it,
it's like, oh, this is pretty.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
It is the key I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Also, I think that's based on when my niece was
like five, we brought her to Disneyland or six, and
she was obsessed with there's like a tinker Bell TV
show that had a bunch of other tinker Bell was
like the star, but then there was all these other
fairies and my niece loved the like gothy bitchy one
that was like bitchy and got right and we went
(21:06):
we got in line to go see tinker Bell, but
we turned a corner. After waiting for a while, we
turned a corner and that the bitchy fairy was standing there,
and it was like it was like if any of
us were in like the grocery store. And we turned
the corner and brad Pitt was like holding some bread.
It was she was absolutely like she was stunned. She
(21:27):
wasn't ready like it was like she was like uh
uh uh. And then and this fucking girl playing that
character did like literally crossed her arms like how she
does in the cartoon wow, like played the parts she
did her And so there wasn't a moment where Nora
was disappointed of like, oh, I guess that's just a
girl dressed like It was like suddenly that fairy really
(21:49):
was there being kind of bitchy to.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Nora, but in a sweet like winky way.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
It was.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
There's a craft to that.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
But the point is there are adults that also could
still get trapped into that magic where they believe well,
and I.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Think is there part of it maybe the appreciation for
how like themed Out and like dedicated Disneyland is to
providing that experience.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah, yeah, it's that kind.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Of like that sense of escape that no child is
disappointed on our grounds kind of fantasy.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Yeah maybe, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
It is that which just makes me go, what disappointed
you so badly that you need to.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Be doing this? Why can't you get high and.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Go to the movies like all the rest of us.
They just be like, oh yeah, Barbie, I love that.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
I mean yeah, if someone is a passholder, I'm like,
how do you deal with the line There's never a
day where it's not Maybe I'm in an ocean but
I can't deal with the I I've only gone purposefully
when it's raining.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
It's the only time.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
What do you typically do at the park when you're there?
Are you a rights person? Do you like people? I
love people?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Want you can tell Oscar has a podcast because he
is hosting from the Back, I.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Feel like and I love it. I love that and
I please keep doing it. Yeah, because it's hard for
me to summon questions. I am a ride per I
very much like the Indiana Jones ride, where there's an
actor that's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Like giant rolling rocks when he's running.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I always try and do my Harrison for It's good. Yeah,
it's okay, but I have not every time I've been there.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
The Haunted Mansion.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Is closed because that's right, a ghost mishappened.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I know, I've never never been on it.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
That's wild.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
What I know? Like Frog and.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Toad's why, Yes, when they go to Hell, it's just
an understated hell.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Also not in the movie at all. You know. I
went to the ride first and I was like, Oh,
I'm excited to watch this Disney movie because they're gonna
show Hell. Not in the movie at all. Wait, there's
a what is the movie it's part it's okay, so okay,
here something. So it's part of a of a package film,
(24:31):
which is a movie because this was during the wartime
where Disney was did not have any money, so they
created a bunch of shorts and packaged them together and
release them as feature films. Movies like Fun and Fancy Free,
The Toad's Wild Ride and Ncobah Crane like those were
all packaged together. So really it's it's part of the
(24:52):
Wind in the Willows short. Oh yeah, but no mention
of hell Toad does not Die.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
It's a lot like the Stephen King book that has
Shashank Redemption and stand by Me in it, but they're short.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Exactly yes, yeah, okah, good, I was really.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Going out on a lamp.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
I can tell that your background is an improfit because
you could have easily nobody.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
When did you move?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I moved here in twenty fifteen, and I was sort
of I'm from New York, so I reluctantly moved here
for work.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Oh when you were a kid, When did you move
to New York?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (25:35):
When did Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well, so I moved to the US when I was
twelve years old. Okay, wow from Colombia. And uh yeah.
I mean I'm from a village in South America. It's
me It's called Palma, and we had no paved roads.
It was very much like, Okay, this is a village.
So when I moved to America, I moved to Queens,
(25:59):
New York. And the craziest thing for me, I remember
being twelve and freaking out that people had their lights
on during the day. Oh wow, that to me was
something that was like insane. Yeah, I'm like, what do
you mean you have your lights on when the sun
is out? You losers?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
You heard of you were right?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, you were just wasting lights. You're wasting energy.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
So as a kid, that is making that adjustment, like
were you just because like, for example, it makes me
think of I went to.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
School with a girl who grew up with no TV.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, and on Monday morning after the weekend, all we
do is stand in circles and talk about the TV
shows we liked and whatever, and she just wasn't a
part of it and just was checked out. And I
was always like but sometimes she just stand there and
be like yeah, yeah, whatever, and like did you have
to spend a lot of time like kind of faking
it or did you like actually say, I don't know
(26:55):
what that is?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
What is that?
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Should I watch? Oh?
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I like? So when I was twelve years old, I
was going through puberty, I didn't speak the language, and
I was gay as hell, so I stood out, Oh
I love it. So I was like, Okay, as a
little immigrant kid, I need to find a way to
assimilate to American society, and the best and easiest way
to do that was just consuming media at nausea. I
(27:18):
still do that to this day.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Like in short Circuit, I'm done in number five, not
from concentrate.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
One of my favorite movies of all time is Earth
Girls Are Easy, which is with Jeff Goldzoom, Geena Davis,
Thank you, Julie Brown, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayne's and it's
about aliens living in Los Angeles in the eighties. And
I was very much like, Okay, I'm going to absorb
I am an alien and I'm absorbing everything there is
(27:50):
to know about American culture because the only we had
a TV in Columbia, but it was black and white
and we only I watched only two shows American shows.
One of them is The Hitchhiker, Oh You're kidding, yes?
And they watched Nights.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Oh no, you didn't even get the original film.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
So that's one where they're wearing leather jackets and you
don't even get to see them run.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Yeah, and everything was like a little paranormal. There was
like a paranormal arc. So that's that's what I thought
America was.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Like.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I was like, Okay, cool, awesome, everyone's in leather jackets
and they're either shooting each other or I.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Feel like I get it.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, watch Nights.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They didn't have the Hoff in it, No, there was
they were like ghost hunting and they were ghost hunting.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yes, I love it.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yes, I didn't know that. I've never spent the evening
with the Oh I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Uh So when I moved here, I was like, oh
my gosh, I need to. There's like music was a
big thing for me because I was like, because that's
how we communicate. It wasn't even like TV. It was
like listening to Lil Kim. It was listening to Next.
It was Maya, you know. Like, so I was just
its like, fully committed to listening to music. Watching MTV
was my church. That's all I did. Yeah, consume hours
(29:09):
and hours and hours of MTV and like got rid
of the accent as soon as I could, and yeah,
became like a normal felt like what's his name in
thirty rock high cool kids, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah, Yeah, hello, fellow teams.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
It's funny though, because all my memories only go back
so far as to the day MTV started. Everything before
that was just how to hold a fork and yeah,
you know you got the important stuff, you did the
right thing.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, exactly when in the eighties, because I was eleven
or ten when MTV came out and we were so obsessed,
Like when there were like family parties and we were
all supposed to be playing outside, it would be like
fifteen kids in the TV room with MTV on, and
we would all just to be silently watching it, and
like it was so revolutionary and so amazing to be
(30:05):
able to watch music and like like take it in
that way. We were obsessed with it, so like it
is it is like mainlining culture.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yes, absolutely, and it was the way everyone everyone spoke
through the lens of MTV. I mean it's also like
when TRL started, it was like it changed everything because
that was just mainlining culture that was watching all the
hottest music videos, listening to the all the new movies
(30:34):
that were coming out, all the you know, interviews with people,
you know. I found out about Harry Potter through an
interview with Stacy Urico, who sang that one song stuff
which we all know by heart, of course, of course,
and they're like, what do you read right now? And
she's like a Christian artist and she's like, I'm not
supposed to read this but Harry Potter, And I was like,
what is that?
Speaker 4 (30:53):
So that's how I got it.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
A Christian artist on TRL.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Yeah, I mean she wasn't like like an Christian artists,
Like she sang pop songs, but like they were all
very wholesome. Okay, it's it's like Jessica Simpson was quote
unquote Christian because you know that she was wholesome.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Any grant for the older folks, she's the og.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Uh bringing making the crossover.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I kind of like your biblical stuff more, I don't know.
I like the old.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
Intersecular stuff, which was like raise him up, wear red
denim skirt, do your ankles.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
That's a lesser known.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Serve your man, your man, everyone's sleeping with the wives.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Those are the best hits my.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I kind of that's a hard thing though at twelve,
because God, you had to like really figure some ship
out for yourself. Because like my sister is a first
grade teacher and she every year has a whole classroom
full kids who on the first day of school speak
no English and on the last day of school speak
perfectly English. And that's for like, I think it's one
(32:02):
of the things she loves the most and is the
proudest of. Is like that's they they learn from each other,
they absorb each other, and little kids are so like
ready to learn. But like if you're twelve, you there's
other stuff you need to worry about.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
And especially in New York City where I mean, were
you when you were a kid just hanging out in
the city singing for the first time, like the.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
In the streets.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
On that cab.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
It's just because I feel just when I visit there,
I feel like, oh, I got to catch up with
this city, motivating to be there, but I can't. I
always think about kids that grew up, Yeah, what was it?
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Like you know, it's so interesting because like when even
in high school, like because I'm from Queens and people
in New York City are so bound to their borough. Like, no,
if you were from Queens, you were never hanging out
in New York City. You were never in you were
never in Brooklyn, you were never in the Bronx. You
hung out in Queens. You found places to hang out
(33:07):
in Queens. I went to Steinway Street, which is like
the cool place in oh and also Flushing because there
was a giant arcade in Flushing, and that's all I
did to play dancedance Revolution till my freaking feet bled.
It was like my pastime. Or we would go to
the Barnes and Noble and hung out in the occult
section because I was a dark kid, you know. That's
(33:29):
what we did. That's what we did. But if you
were like, oh, there's a cool thing in Manhattan, We're like, no, no, no,
we're from Queen. No way.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Because that's the one thing I realized every time I
visit there. As as far as service area, it's not
a big You can walk across the all of New
York City and but it isn't Yeah, you would stick
to your.
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Yeah where are you from? Originally me Montana? Montana was
like it was beautiful. I mean, I go back now
and I feel lucky. But as a kid, I was
I was.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
Bored, and it was a lot of hanging out in
basements and drinking too early and snowboarding.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I am jealous that you grew up in New York City.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
I want it's interesting. It's interesting because like for me,
I always felt very jealous because I never had that
sort of like I don't want to say small town vibe,
but like, for example, I never had lockers ever, and
that was like a big regret of mine. I was like,
I want to go to a school where they have lockers. Oh,
(34:38):
none of the schools that I want to have lockers.
And I was furious, Yeah, well it's cubby shit. You know.
My high school didn't have a sports teams, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
I was like, okay, well, okay, weird. So I didn't
have that that whole like sports culture thing. My college
didn't have any sports, and greek life was banned in
my college, so we didn't have like fraternities or sororities.
I think that's for the best, absolutely, but I always think, like,
what would it be like to go to a school,
you know, that sort of stereotypical school. Yeah, lockers and
(35:08):
sport you know what I mean? Like Friday Night like style.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, yeah, I remember seeing there was when I was
like fifteen, on the cover of some magazine that wasn't
that was a very famous national magazine. I want to
say that it was like on par with Life Magazine,
but Life Magazine was already gone. And I'll never forget.
It was like the typical American teenager. And there was
this girl sitting at a table and her mom was
(35:33):
handing her a muffin and she was like like bangs
and blonde hair and you know, just looked like the
typical cute white girl from nineteen eighty two. And I
remember just staring at it being like, well, that's not
what I look like, and that's my Mom's never here
in the morning to hand me a muffin. I've never
been handed a muffin, And I was like this one
(35:54):
thing that made me go insane and like I was
like born into the entire culture, like you never It
feels like part of the scam is that you never
feel like you're doing it the way America does.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Right. Also, you're fixated that thing that you never got
to do that you thought was so essential to for
me anyways, an immigrant kid, so essential to American culture. Yeah,
because my whole thing was just like, oh, I'm here
in the US, I am one of you, right, And
there was always something that was like, no, no, not
quite no, No, you're a little too gay to be
(36:28):
an American. You're a little too brown to be an American.
You're a little too weird to be an American. You know.
So I just felt a little like okay, and then
finally I was like, Okay, fuck this, and then.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Here comes twenty twenty three. We're like, that's how you
got to be, that's the best way to be.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
And finally it's probably those coping with those things is
why you're funny.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
True. I mean, I guess, like the I think the
requisite to.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Be they were in the right.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
It just was a horrifying It's the scariest corner in
all town. Is proximity to the scientology. Also is back,
let's watch an Eli Roth Horne doctor.
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
No, but I wait, what was saying.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
I totally forgot it was you were talking about the.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Basically, I think with being comedians, the requisite is having
a point of view, a perspective, and I think there
has to be some self awareness and I think being
on the outskirts of society or like feeling like you
were not completely a part of it sort of geared
your brain into analyzing the world and how interesting the
(37:40):
world works outside of your perception. And that's to me
how I hone my comedy skills. I'm like, Okay, I'm
able to analyze this thing that everyone sort of like
takes for granted or just like does on the day
to day basis, and I'm like, that's weird. That's weird
because here's my perspective.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Ye, you know, and you kind of have to.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I feel like I was doing the same thing, and
it's that feeling of like, oh, you don't think I
could be on the cover of this magazine being receiving
a muffin. Okay, Well, then I'm going to figure out
why that's stupid, and then I'm going to really I'm
going to like analyze it to a granular level and
then verbalize it so that everyone knows I never wanted
(38:23):
the fucking muffin and I don't care that I don't
belong in this specific way that I'm supposed to and
clearly don't exactly and like make it okay for myself exactly.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
And you think about that girl with the blonde bangs
and you're like, wow, what is your life like?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, you're like, what is your life like? Being the
subject of so much hate from me?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It must have been horrible.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
I don't notice you've had bangs? How did you start
at UCB in New York?
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Then I want here?
Speaker 3 (38:59):
I did. I took a class in New York and
I was terrified. I was a okay, So my story
is I was a professional dancer. That was like my
past life.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Wow, and what kind of jazz? Hip hop?
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Modern? Modern contemporary? But I did. I still do some
hip hop, but as a dancer, I was terrified of performing,
and especially when I was you know, out in the
world auditioning, we had to like, you know, freestyle and
that was like the most paralyzing thing. I can learn choreography,
(39:34):
but asked me to come up with choreography on the spot.
I couldn't, so I would like not book anything, and
it was freaking me out. I was like I need
to get over this stage right thing.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
And my friend at the time, Christian Jacobs, who I
call Chopper, was like, you should take an improv class
and I'm like, no, I don't think so like, that's
not really my thing. I don't know about that. He's like, no,
it's okay. There's all kinds of people take classes, like
you know, there's lawyers and then there's you know, stay
at home parents who take it. You'll be fine. I
was like, okay, I signed up for a class and
(40:04):
everybody was like I need to be on SNL and
I was like, oh god, I just like want to
learn how to talk without stuttering.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
And it's great.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I left and then but you know, after that one class,
I was obsessed.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well you left, You left the class like you couldn't
handle it.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Yeah, I couldn't handle it, but I was obsessed because
it felt like a magic trick to me. I'm like,
what do you mean you can do whatever you want?
Like how is this possible? So for two years I
just like was I went to see every show. I
was just like obsessed with it. You studied it, study
full of study, his book, all of it, all of it.
(40:42):
And then after two years, I was like, maybe I
should go back because like I feel, I feel like
maybe this is like an obsession I have. And I
went back and I did it at a place called
the People's Improv theater in New York, and everything sort
of clicked for me and it changed my life.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You know, did you find your people there?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Absolutely? I found my freaks. Isn't that a errative?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Yes? It is.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
You got to find your freaks no matter where you are.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
That's so.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
And that was a big thing about moving to LA
because I had my freaks all like, all squared away
in New York, and then moving to LA, I was like,
I don't know anybody.
Speaker 5 (41:15):
You just had a printed out pieces of paper with
the photos of all the freaks.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
And then I'll never forget you.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Did you freaks?
Speaker 5 (41:22):
Did you go to the the UCB That reminds me
of a high school and I imagine there being lockers there,
but I think it.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Closed on sunset?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:32):
Yes, yes, I felt like every time I performed there
just doing stand up, but I felt like everyone goes
to school here and their arms across because they were
they They're judging what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
They're not are you serious?
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:44):
I always felt there, specifically the one on Franklin I
always had.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
That's some of my best stand up memories.
Speaker 5 (41:51):
And yeah, La, but but it seemed like at school,
it seemed like a comedy high school.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Well, also, it was almost like the audience was in
a set of an audience like it always looked goofy
as hell where it's like why are all these people
in these weird blocked off areas. Yes, and it looked
like it looked like the Star Trek like panel of
judges that we're gonna be like you have to go
to the isolation planet.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Well, I think also with it just was like such
a quote unquote real theater space that like, the audience
just felt so far away from you, and anytime you
were performing, you were like, is anyone out there?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Like?
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Why am I?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
What?
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Do I feel like? I'm screaming into the void a
place in Franklin, everyone's closer. You feel like, Okay, they're
fucking on the stage, literally on the stage, grabbing your feet.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, it's great, but the Sunset place just felt so removed.
It just felt sore.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
Do you teach now?
Speaker 3 (42:46):
I teach at Actually we're about to drive past the
training center, one of the training centers at uc B.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
I did. Really, it's over here, right here.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
It's it's uh, it used to be a bar, remember
bar classes that were hot.
Speaker 5 (43:04):
That's what I was thinking about the whole time because
I got my hip replaced, and I hesitantly it started
taking bar methic. Oh my god, so it's the only
guy in there, and I felt yes, uh, And then
it got to the point where it's like, hey, you're
getting good at this.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Would it became amazing. It's something I really was enjoying.
Speaker 5 (43:24):
But then I moved over here and that was the
only I'm like, Okay, eventually I gotta go there.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
It's funny to think.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Would you ever do like ballet?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I don't know that I want to take on.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
I am already like, get too interested in things, and
I spread myself.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
It's a bad thing.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
I but I'm weird and I have to get good
at things, and I'm I have to. I finally quit
playing billiards because I was getting all sucked into that world.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
No, I can't add dance.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Wait, how did you get into the first place.
Speaker 5 (43:57):
Well, it's it's code for I would stringing too much.
But yeah, Little Joy is right by my place, and
I was going there a lot, and I've quit drinking
and so I stopped playing pool. But I can't add
dance to the men. I do want to go to
bar method again, though, it just reminded me of you.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Can't because the ucb's in their training people.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I know you can do bar at the UCB.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
Oh, yeah, can go there with All my characters are
bar based.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Here's the bar you know, perfect form. The characters are
just barbages, all the different barbages.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Chris, we've seen the skifts before. Yeah, we don't want
to do that, but here's another bar. Have you ever
thought about the barbage? That's actually nice.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
My bar instructor has sent me a birthday card with
note like you made so much progress, We're so proud.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
Of you, like they were.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
It was.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
I was in with that. It was like a little family.
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I didn't expect it because I just went there to
deal with a therapy issue, like yeah, hip therapy.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
That's kind of Yeah.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
That's great though, but for you it's even greater because
now you're teaching, but also.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
You're going kind of back to your dance roots with
your bar method.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Right. Yeah, it's in the rooms of the temple.
Speaker 4 (45:24):
The smell is still there.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Is the bar up on the wall? Are there any mirror?
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Lind?
Speaker 3 (45:28):
Now they that all away, which is like, what the heck,
what's the.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
Point point, Well, do you ever do hot improv though
all the time?
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Yeah, gotta be funny and sweating.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
What's your favorite part about Los Angeles knowing that it
sucks for sure compared to New York.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I don't think it sucks. I don't think it's.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
You're not allowed to contradict.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
You can't think of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Please don't argue, or I won't drive you home. Kick
me out of this car.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
What I love about I love My favorite thing about
LA is that there's so many hidden, weird little places
in LA that if you like dig enough, you'll find yeah,
you know, and it's it's like ugly. There's like ugly
places to laye. I love discovering some like bizarre little
(46:27):
bookstore in downtown La. Downtown was like the ugliest place
in the world, you know, pretty rough. It's rough, it's rough,
but I love it. I love how like it just
reminds me of like pre Jiuliani New York City, do
you know what I mean? Just like very sort of
a little dangerous. Yeah, kind of like that. But yeah,
that to me, that's the fun The funnest thing is
(46:49):
just like wandering around because like La has a reputation
of it not being a walkable city, and yes, that
is true. But within the confines of like the neighborhood,
you can walk around and just covered new places. There's
always bizarre little places that you can just walk into.
Speaker 5 (47:04):
Yeah, in this area especially, it's I love being able
to walk. I used to live at the beach and
it was like, well, I gotta drive everywhere. I guess
I'll hang out.
Speaker 4 (47:13):
I can go.
Speaker 5 (47:15):
In Marina del Rey, and I wish I didn't realize
that I was missing out on this whole city.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Are you a beach person?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
I guess I was for seventeen years.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
But now being over here, I feel like I'm much happier.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Have we all seen the full moon yet?
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Where is it?
Speaker 5 (47:34):
If we wait long enough, a witch will stop silhouetted
in friving.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I mean that's crazy looking.
Speaker 5 (47:40):
Yeah, that's that's a cardboard, that's a lamp, that's a prop.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
It doesn't look real. It does not. So what does
a full moon mean? Like? Right, like there's some significance.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
The sun is completely behind it.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Oh, I meant like you know about our energies or so,
right judging by judging by this hen right now, none
of us.
Speaker 4 (48:04):
Should date scorpios. I don't know much better.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
I dated a Scorpio for seven years. I know.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
They're crazy, right.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
They're just you know, you know, you know they're the
cool thing about Scorpius is that they're loyal and they're
horny as hell. That's fine, right, but they are vengeful typically.
I don't know if y'all are astrology.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
I release I like to be, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
There's certain signs I don't know about because it's not
it's either not my sign or I haven't liked a
person with that.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
What's your sign?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Taurus?
Speaker 3 (48:43):
I love a Taurus? Do you I love a Taurus? Wait?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Would you say your sign is?
Speaker 3 (48:48):
I'm in aries? Oh yeah, what's your sign?
Speaker 5 (48:52):
I know nothing about it, but I know when I
tell them when I say mine, people go, oh, and
it's Aquarius. Apparently it's the most hated. It's they're lying
to you.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
Aquariuses are fun, You're weird.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
People only got negative what like people exhausted with me already?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
No?
Speaker 4 (49:13):
No, because I'm selfish. No, I'm an artist or what.
I don't know what it means.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
I know any time I read about them in a
horoscope situation, it's like, yeah, well that's true.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
That's true too.
Speaker 5 (49:28):
There's something to this, but I don't have time for it.
I have to play billiards.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Wait, do you know your other two year rising in
your moon sign?
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (49:40):
I know, I'm you're the rabbit. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
I am a tours sun Leo moon Sagittarius rising.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Okay, right, a lot of fire.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
A lot of like please, ma'am, keep your voice down.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Action, Yeah, out closed.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
I don't know anything about this.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Well, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You would have to kind of be into astrology because
that's all the stuff if or be on TikTok, which
that's how I learned. Oh really, because at first it's like, oh,
here's I'll read your tarot cards, but also it has
to do with your horoscope, and then they start doing
things of like actually your sun sign isn't even about
your personality. You need to know your blank and it
(50:28):
would yeah, it would just kind of like change.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Months to month. If you need to know you're this,
you're that.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yeah. I mean it's all a scam, you know, but
it's fun to think about it.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I mean, I sure do buy a lot of hair
products and makeup on that thing telling me what my
tarot reading is just like, ah, I'll buy more makeup.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Fine, It's like a leo, like eyeliner, whatever comes up.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
They're so good at doing it where it's like the
first thirty seconds is like, guys, I'm so tired today,
and you think a joke is coming. You think they're
going to tell you a good story, and then suddenly
they just start putting on blush and you're like, oh,
I need that.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
That's I need that.
Speaker 4 (51:06):
It's an astrologist person.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Well that that's kind of a I'm an exaggerate. They
usually don't combine that many things, but sometimes they do.
Speaker 5 (51:16):
When I started in Austin, Texas, and there was a
place that was a it was a poem reader.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
I think it was a couple.
Speaker 5 (51:24):
Uh so one of them read palms and there was
like a neon palm on the other side. It was
a used car place, and so I always thought it
would be like they're, oh, your lifeline, I see in
your future a slightly used Chevy Burretta or whatever. I
always thought that they had to and I thought that's the.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
The ultimate power couple.
Speaker 5 (51:51):
That's the best way to sell cars is to see
it into someone's future.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
Convince them that you have.
Speaker 3 (51:59):
I will say, I have a really crazy story about
poem reading. Yes, so I okay. I have to preface
this story by saying I've had a recurring dream since
I was five years old, yes, that I would fall
off a cliff. And as I'm falling off a cliff,
I always think to myself, I never made it to
my twenty ninth birthday. Okay. I'm walking down the street
(52:20):
and some lady stops me in the middle of the street.
This is like when I was twenty two, twenty three
and she says, I just need to read your poem
for a second. I was like, oh god, I'm in
Queen's I'm busy, I got places to be and she's like,
give me your palm and I'm like okay. I don't
know why I said okay, but I was like okay.
And the first thing she says to me, she's like,
I don't think I don't know why you think you're
(52:42):
gonna die before you turn twenty nine, but that's not
gonna happen.
Speaker 5 (52:45):
You have a.
Speaker 4 (52:45):
Guardian twenty nine.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
And I was like what and she's like, you haven't
guardian Angel Looking up for you, and I was like, okay,
this is too crazy. And then she's like, come with me,
and I was like no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
You're wearing a necklace of human teeth.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
Your hair is literally snakes.
Speaker 5 (53:08):
My right arm has turned to stone. That's so because
I say I'm not an astrology person or I don't
not believe in it, I'm just I have no interest
in it. But you think I would be After a
similar situation like that, I was with a friend and
a woman was coming out of a bar, not the method,
(53:30):
but a drinking clay and she said, hey Aquarius, Hey
Scorpio as she rocked and we both I was like,
are you a Scorpio because I'm an Aquarius? Like we
figured it out. Whoah, you fully live in my neighborhood?
Speaker 4 (53:46):
Wait where do you live right around the corner from here?
Speaker 3 (53:49):
What? Yeah, we neighbors. We are crazy.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Wait, just as a big finale anecdotally, did you make
it past your twenty ninth birthday?
Speaker 3 (53:59):
I did? That is also a really crazy story that
I've told a billion times. But what not dying? But okay,
so you know, like I thought I was gonna die,
but blah blah. So I book a commercial where I
have to bunge you jump, and I'm terrified of heights, right,
But you know, when you're like struggling and you're like
(54:19):
figuring it out, you lie and you say, yeah, I'm an.
Speaker 4 (54:21):
Ext berday and you were twenty eight man.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
I was twenty eight, yes, so I was like, oh yeah,
I bunge it up all the time. So I book
this commercial. We're at a park in New Jersey. They're
like telling me what to do. And my birthday is
April twelfth, Okay. We shot this commercial on April fifth,
on my twentieth birthday, about to turn twenty nine. I
go to this park and I'm like, I'm going to die.
I'm going to die here. Yeah, And I'm fully like, okay,
(54:45):
now I have to do I stop the commercial and
do I say, like, I can't shoot this. I'm going
to die.
Speaker 4 (54:50):
I've seen it, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (54:52):
Or And my dumb ass was like, you know what,
I'm just gonna never mind, let's just continue. And if
I die, I die, you know, I'll die exactly.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
It's not just gonna come along any day exactly.
Speaker 3 (55:08):
So I'm you know, fully being like, okay, this is
the dam I'm gonna die. I make the PA take
a picture of me, being like, okay, this is the
picture that the newspapers are gonna share. It's on my Instagram.
So if you go on my Instagram, my picture is there.
And right before I go, the rangers come up and
(55:30):
they're like, hey, what's going on. Do you have a
permit for this? And they're like, yeah, we have a permit.
They're like no, no, do you have a bungee jumping permit?
They're like no, we don't need and then they're like, okay,
we can give you one really quick. We just need
to do a couple of things. So they do something,
they go back down, and then they go back. They
come back up half an hour later and they're like,
we're shutting this down. Turns out the cord that they
(55:52):
brought was too long, and it wasn't They didn't measure
the height of the cliff that I was going to
be jumping, So if I actually jumped off, the cord
would have not I mean, I would have died.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
Holy shit.
Speaker 3 (56:09):
And I swear, I mean I swear to god. I
stopped having that dream afterwards, and I was like, holy fuck,
I didn't get my SAT card that day, unfortunately, because
it was in fact canceled.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
But you also didn't get your big death.
Speaker 4 (56:24):
That is the most amazing story.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
That is incorrect.
Speaker 3 (56:30):
It's wild, you know, and you know, like, you know,
do I believe in the sort of Juju universe stuff?
I have to. I have to because this insane thing
happened to.
Speaker 4 (56:39):
Me, you know, after that.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
I mean, that is that is beyond wild. And also
it's all those facts. But the idea that you went,
fuck it if I die, I died.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
Crazy is like I was willing to die for this
stupid Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (56:56):
And it's true.
Speaker 5 (56:57):
They when I bungee jumped, they asked your weight and
everyone had a different length of bungee and one girl
lied about her weight and her friend was like.
Speaker 4 (57:05):
Oh, you don't lie about your weight for this thing.
It's important.
Speaker 5 (57:08):
Like I think she normally was just undershooting it. Sure,
but it is very that's so scary.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
You gotta know this. You got to know these things.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
I'm so glad you're alive.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
I'm so glad you lived to thank you. This was delightful.
Speaker 5 (57:29):
What are telling what fully We're emotionally affected by that story.
Speaker 4 (57:34):
It's the best way to close this episode out.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Do you want to plug anything? Do you have anything?
Speaker 3 (57:39):
Oh? Yeah, well you know you can watch Minks on Stars.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
I love that show. I'm so sorry we didn't talk
about it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (57:46):
Thank you so good, Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
I like the main guy is he's my favorite person.
He's so what is it about that guy?
Speaker 1 (57:55):
Do you like him?
Speaker 3 (57:56):
Of course? I love everyone on that show. Okay, it's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
That's very professional thing of you to say no, but.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
It's really, it's true. It's true. I would. I would.
I would give you the tea. If there was someone
I didn't like, I would. I was straight up tell
you M I n X, M I n X. It's
about the first female magazine, Erotic Magazine, based on Playgirl
magazine from the seventies. I played the photographer Richie, so
I take pictures of lots of pen and there's a
(58:22):
lot of penis on the show. Yeah, there is a
lot of penis on the show.
Speaker 2 (58:25):
It's such a it's like it's a really good cast.
There's the main woman. Sorry, I never know anyone saying
the main woman is this British actress and Ophelia such
a good actress. I was so excited to see her
when I was watching that and you bond Jake Johnson.
Speaker 4 (58:42):
That's the ex ser for guitar player.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Yes, yeah, Jack Johnson.
Speaker 5 (58:47):
Jack, that guy sings.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
Yeah. So watch Max on Stars. Watch Dicks the Musical,
a twenty four movie. I'm in it is there? Uh
is there?
Speaker 4 (59:07):
Peece in the Dicks like Private Dicks.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Dix is like there. It's about two guys who are
It's a musical. It's a twenty four's first music. Oh wow,
it's very fun, very stupid. And you can follow me
at osimo o z z Ymo on Instagram and X
I guess it's called now.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
No you're gonna get off that ut a whatever? Yeah,
exactly across.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
And that's called the full circle Moment. Yes it is.
Speaker 4 (59:35):
You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D
y n a Hong Kong. This has been an exactly
right production.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 4 (59:52):
Mixed by Edson Choy.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 5 (59:56):
Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff, artwork by Fairbanks.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y nar podcast for.
Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
More information go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
Thank you both. You're welcome
Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
we want to be there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
time and a terminol and gay.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We want to send you off in style. We wanna
welcome you back home.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
We scared or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need ride?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris, our our guests today, Hi
clubs and goes across the country.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
We were looking for somewhere more dimly lid, for.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
The full of fresh as treaty as possible.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Let's yeah, start with the normal stuff. What's what's in
the bag and give it to us now. Oscar Montoya
everyone put.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Hi, Oscar, thanks for doing this with.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Us, Thanks for having me?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, Car, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I have to get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You have to get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Why because Elon Musk is a straight up Nazi.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Like there's just no we it. You can't laugh it.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Off, like have you fought about and I've seen this
like it's always fun to me. I there was a
Bentley that put a Honda emblem on it, which is
kind of the opposite, and I would see it all
the time in Venice. It was really funny to me
that that person did that because it was a beautiful car.
And then they're like, it'd be funny if I pretended
(02:24):
this was you could do that.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
You could just put a Volkswagen logo on it.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Okay, perfect, Yeah, Just let everybody just ye be like, no,
you're the one that doesn't understand I am not a
white supremacist.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Why I decide whether or not I.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Then maybe don't put Volkswagen. That was a bad example.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
That's the worst case scenario.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I think that people would get what you're saying, though
if you covered it up, it'd be like, Okay, I
get it.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Then you're like, oh here it's a Ford. Nope, that
that one's bad too.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
What all cars are bad? Carts are bad.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I look at the Calvin stickers out there these days, all.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Of them, everything was right, pee.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
On all the cards. That's what we need for four.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's what we all have to start doing.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
For golden showers for the car guys.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Is that a high school soccer game or is it
a leak soccer game?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
It is it's like a high school. They have a
game every single night, it feels like, and they are loud.
They are loud, and they love to sing songs really
about soccer. No turn turned out for what Oh Flowers
Miley Cyrus I heard. I'm like, this doesn't feel like
a high school song.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Wow. So not Josh Jams Volumes twelve. That's great.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, we loved your neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Before you got in the car, we were talking about
your neighborhood, but it was thank you.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
The beautiful Uh what are what's that style of it ran? Victorian?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yes, yes they are yes, Victorian houses. Yeah, there's a
bunch of beautiful houses here very close by. They shot
the show Charmed. Yeah, they have the outside door. I've
never My friend was visiting from Chicago and she was like,
you gotta take me to the Charmed house. She got
and I was like, okay, I've never seen the show. Yeah,
(04:23):
i go to what I assume is the Charmed House
because I'm like, Okay, this is kind of big and spooky.
She's taking pictures of it, that's so to speak. The
next day, when she flies back to Chicago, she's like, Oscar,
that wasn't the charmed house.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Why did you tell me?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Wait? So did you just kind of make it up?
You're like, it must be this one.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Well, I googled, I was like charmed house, and it
showed me the address. So I went and it's actually
the house that was next door. It wasn't as impressive
as the house that we shot. So I was like,
this is the.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
House you're talking about exactly where I live. And I
when I do cameos, I drive around and I gave
have a tour of these houses. There's the Thriller house,
which has been burnt I think from arson, but someone
every time I drive by, there's like a quivering curtain
(05:11):
and there's someone that lives.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
In there that doesn't turn on any lights.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Really why did they buy it? Then?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Uh, he's got good songs now, I think.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
And then if you don't want people taking pictures.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Right, But on that street there are renovated beautiful houses,
beautiful like one is all black with like gothic there's.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Like I think that's the one I took pictures of.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Yeah, that street is the street that boasts the most
Victorian beautiful home.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
There's a plaque, isn't there a Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:47):
And and hitching posts for horses are shaped like horses heads,
you know, because downtown people used to ride horses to work.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Sure, come home.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
To their drafty old house and yell at their family.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Maybe that's what you should do, is just buy a horse,
the ultimate hipster move horse.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Like I've been seeing in my neighborhood.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
A lot of dudes with cowboy hats and and and
cowboy boots.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I think you should just outdo.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
Them all and actually just ride a horse on sunseide.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, what are people going to say?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
They can't say shit, They can't shit.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
You want to be riding a tesla instead, That's what
he'll say.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
The funniest thing, though, is there are so many tesla's
in Los Angeles, Like there's just it's nice to know
that there's like twenty thousand people also in this very
awkward position.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
It's like, what are you a fucking Nazi?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
That guy right there, Yeah, hey, and he's guiltier than
I out.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
Everyone thought the problem would be throwing away the battery.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
But no, there's worse problems now. Yeah, Oscar, what's going?
How was your Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
It was great, It was relaxing. I spent it with
a friend who insisted on cooking everything, so there was
no stress for me to prepare any food, and I
just went and ate.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
That was intering. That's a dream come true.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
How was your Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Mine was the same? It was.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I spent it with two friends who insisted on cooking everything,
my dad and my sister, and I get away with
so much in my family, but that one is the
biggest that I really I do convey my appreciation.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
But my dad was a.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Fireman in San Francisco, so you you have to know
how to cook in a firehouse. You yeah, because you
trade off different nights being responsible for making food. So
if you suck, everyone will hate you and be mean
to you. So you have to be good at cooking.
And basically, guys learn from the senior guys all the
good recipes and the good stuff. So my dad's a
(07:53):
really good cook, and then my sister is really really
good cook. So I just kind of sit back and
like I'm like, hey, can I get some popcorn? Like hey,
I just make requests and act like like I'm the guest.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Honestly, that's the dream. That's that's what we want.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
It's pretty nice.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Chris. What about you? How is your things.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
It was.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
I have never been responsible for the food, and I
swear I'm not doing it on purpose, but I I
ate I did the wrong thing where I didn't prepare
my stomach elasticity, and I really was having problems in
a guest. As a guest, I talked too much about
(08:33):
medical things. I'm trying to avoid the specifics, but we
all know what happened.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
I had a little problem.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
But Oscar doesn't know either of us.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I did I do that thing.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I do that thing where I'm like, good to me too,
let's talk about diarrhea, and I did.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I'm sorry, as her, very sorry.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's okay, but it.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Was the best. Yeah, I've I still have leftovers. I
got this.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
That's the one thing I usually you don't get when
you're a guest, get sent home with leftovers.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
So I really that is nice.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Scored this year, I've been eating Thanksgiving food for all week.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah, for the rest of the year.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Yeah, it's frozen like a dead deer in my walking freezer.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
More turkey, more turkey. I do love. I love Thanksgiving.
I really love.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Thanksgiving as a holiday because it's well for me, absolutely
no stress whatsoever. But I love the Thanksgiving dinner meal.
I could eat that once a week. Yes, it's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
What is your favorite Thanksgiving like dish? Are you a
turkey freak? Are you like a sides person?
Speaker 1 (09:51):
You know what I am.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It's a it's basically a combination of that. I'm a
combo bite make the perfect bite person. Oh yeah, and
then I do that until my stomach explodes because you
just keep making the perfect bite and it gets and
you refine it and you get it better, and then
you have a bite of your roll or whatever.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Yeah, just different shades of beige and I yeah. And
the only thing that breaks through is the thing I detest,
which is that cylinder car, that gelatinous cranberry.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Like disagree?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I love it. We that's we have to have it.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say, Chris, you are the
odd person out here because I also love a cranberry.
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
What's wrong with me.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
It's a deal breaker.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
I don't like the juice. If someone spent some.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Cranberry juice, you're the most versatile of the juice.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
For years. Because I know it is versatile.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Every other fruit company, they literally have franchised that thing
past the point of spider death, like you.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Can get any.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Kind I know, And I guess my opinion changed on
it when I stopped drinking copious amounts of.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Vodka with.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
I am not I have had when someone really gets
creative and knows what they're doing with cranberry, like where
there's twigs in it and stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
I like that twigs, you know, where it's full cranberry
berries with.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
The shells and that.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
No, No, that's shooting.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
That's a bad decision, you guys.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
So you're arguing rather than for homemade cranberry sauce, you
want the gelatinous cylinder from a can.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yes, the crime, lock me up, Chris.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
That it's a shape like a can that you slice
it on the can lines. So here's here's eight thin
pieces and now here's a big fat piece in the
midd because that's what the can shape.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Do do it?
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Do you use it?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Kind of?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
No? I don't like it, And I know our listeners
are all saying that most people are on my side
right now.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Please, we're going to we're gonna work social media for
this one.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, like we ever have before. We're going to post
a pold I guess.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
And I've never I guess sound like the combination.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
I don't need it as a condiment, like where it's like,
oh I need a little cranberry on my turkey. I
think other people if I did that, I would want it.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
But I just it's all beige all day.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Really.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Yeah, like a like a group of people in a cult.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
What's your favorite food, Chris food?
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Oh boy, I mean I think and if I'd hate
to just steer away from Thanksgiving meals, but I do
believe it's ramen. Oh yeah, I'm a hot soup guy.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Oh my gosh. I know it's surprising.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
I would to say when I need something brought to
my house and I realized there's no food.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
It's my go to, Oscar, what's your go to when
you need hot food and brought to your house?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
When I need hot food, I'm brought to my house.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I was brought to my house.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I'm a Thaie food sort of sort of person. Yeah,
I like a pat. I'm a I'm a basic noodle guy. Yeah,
a pets you or a pat tie is always my
go to. It's delicious. What about you?
Speaker 5 (13:19):
Do you ever in our neighborhood go to? It's Thai
homesterrant of course it's name.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
There.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
It's not a house stant it's a home.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
It's a home.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Did I say house?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
No? No, you know it's like the I.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Mean this house draw. Let's make this house drawn a homestrung.
That's right, that's right, that was their mission.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
I love it. And there's no one ever there.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
No one is.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
I feel like I'm the only person ever there.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yes, I'm like, is this a front for something?
Speaker 5 (13:48):
They're always happy to see me. If it's a front,
I want to Yeah, a lookout. Just give me free noodles.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Mule for those people if you care so much about
their cooking. I like type food because you can be
doing all the carbs of Chinese food, but you're telling
yourself you're getting all these.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Vegetables my god, yeah, totally right, right.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Just because there's something leafy resting on top.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, there's some sliced up carrot. So you're like, oh
my god, I'm practically vegan.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah. My brain does a trick where it's like, oh,
you're eating healthy because it's not Chinese food. Yeah, weird,
it's being a weird. What is this frozen and Incanto
Disney on ice? Oh you are you seeing this.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
This is new Disney. You have a podcast where you
talk about Disney.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Reach yes, yes, wait wait talk to us about that.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Okay. So I when I moved to Los Angeles, I
was very i'll say it, weirded out by Disney adults.
I didn't, I don't, I don't really, I didn't get it.
I was a little like gassholders, what's going on here?
Because I'm from New York, so and like Disney people.
There's not a lot of Disney adults in New York.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
There's not a lot of Disney vibes in New York exactly. Yeah,
that's actually anti New York vibes in my opinion.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I agree, I agree. So when I moved here, I
was a little weird about by Disney dolson. I was
like I Also, I was raised in Colombia, in South America,
so I missed the big Disney craze of the nineties.
I wasn't. I didn't grow up with like Hercules or
et cetera, et cetera. So I've only seen two Disney
movies ever. Oh and wow, So my friend Claire, who's
(15:28):
the co host, took me to Disneyland to be like, huh, right,
and I was like, Okay, this is kind of cute. Okay,
but I don't understand any of these references.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Oh wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
So I was like, why don't we just start a
podcast where I watch every single Disney I love that movie.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
I love knowing that that I that's amazing because any
appreciation I have for Disneyland, it's just me remembering going
on the Pirates to the Caribbean Ride or whatever as
a kid, and I'm nostalgic for it, right, And when
you go into the Tarzan Treouse, which used to be
the Swiss Family Robinson one, I have vivid memories of
being in there as a kid. It was really important
(16:05):
to me that being said, I am not a Disney adult,
and do not call me that. Okay, it's okay, but
you I love that you're starting from scratch.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah, well, we watched all of them mission completely. We
finished it, and we watched every pixarm We watched every
single Disney Channel original movie as well.
Speaker 4 (16:24):
The first feature Fantasia.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
The first feature is Snow White and really yeah, it's
the very first animated feature film ever.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It is.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, okay, it's never been done before. People called Walt
Disney a kookie crazy man for doing it, for doing it,
for freezing his head, his frozen head directed.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
It was the original premise of Frozen, but.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
That's scary for.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Originally pitched this frozen head.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I fully agree with you, and I have known several
Disney adults in my life, and at least one of
them was also a sociopath.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
So it is a strong vibe.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Strong vibe, and it also for a couple of them.
I was just kind of like this. This to me
feels like I had a friend who is obsessed with
Star Wars and he was like when I was eight
years old, I got brought to Star Wars and halfway
through the film broke and he goes, So I'm now
obsessed with it because I can't get that day back
(17:36):
and that's his whole life.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But he knows it, he's fully aware of it.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I feel like Disney adults have no idea what the
problem is and they don't want to know, and they're
upset if you say that could possibly be why?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yes, wow, you know, yes. I mean like it's it's
there's like rings, right, It's like Dante's Inferno, right, and
there's like the Disney adults who like, are the cis
hetero heterosexual couples that go there. They were like, I'm
his and she's mine, sort of like Mickey mouse finger
glove pointing thing, which.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Here's a cursive embroidery on our hats.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yes, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
And then you have you know, the Disney Gaze, which
is another earth.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Oh yeah, you know it's a scene.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
It's a oh it's a it is a scene, an
aggressive scene. It's gay men uh in their thirties, usually
bearish bearded.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Who like, just live at Disneyland and it freaks me out.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
But you know, because of the plush clad mascots are
do you think any furries go there.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I'm sure they must sneak in some cuddles, but I
don't think those costumes are furry.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I mean if I don't know, if they get.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That they all have an as flap on them. I
don't know. You have to really look.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
It's about crow, but it's seamless and easy to access.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Most of the kids don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I was just built in.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
It's the easiest way to get into the costume.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Now. But you're right, it's like, how much fur like
quantifies you a fer.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, and is that would a free be offended that
I would even suggest that, because it's like, that's not
what it's about.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I'd love to hear but true thinking about because I'm
just thinking. The reason I even was able to say
that was because I've recently accidentally slipped into an area
of TikTok, which is just little children dressed as characters
at Disneyland being spotted by the character they're dressed as. Yeah,
and it is like the most immediate dopamine crying for
(19:51):
no reason, like weirdest thing that I basically spent too
much time watching, and now the algorithm things, I fucking
love it.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, so I do.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
It's almost like I shouldn't say such judgmental things about
Disney adults because maybe I have a part of that
inside me. She could be you can have that dormant
gene reading to get activated.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
We're in traffic right now, we're gonna have a hard
edge to us. But when my nieces, who are now
in their first year of college, when they dressed like
little princesses and you can go to Disneyland and they
get to meet all the princesses and it is they
were freaking out, like it is the coolest thing that
(20:36):
I would think I wouldn't appreciate, but once you see it,
it's like, oh, this is pretty.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
It is the key I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Also, I think that's based on when my niece was
like five, we brought her to Disneyland or six, and
she was obsessed with there's like a tinker Bell TV
show that had a bunch of other tinker Bell was
like the star, but then there was all these other
fairies and my niece loved the like gothy bitchy one
that was like bitchy and got right and we went
(21:06):
we got in line to go see tinker Bell, but
we turned a corner. After waiting for a while, we
turned a corner and that the bitchy fairy was standing there,
and it was like it was like if any of
us were in like the grocery store. And we turned
the corner and brad Pitt was like holding some bread.
It was she was absolutely like she was stunned. She
(21:27):
wasn't ready like it was like she was like uh
uh uh. And then and this fucking girl playing that
character did like literally crossed her arms like how she
does in the cartoon wow, like played the parts she
did her And so there wasn't a moment where Nora
was disappointed of like, oh, I guess that's just a
girl dressed like It was like suddenly that fairy really
(21:49):
was there being kind of bitchy to.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Nora, but in a sweet like winky way.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
It was.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
There's a craft to that.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
But the point is there are adults that also could
still get trapped into that magic where they believe well,
and I.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Think is there part of it maybe the appreciation for
how like themed Out and like dedicated Disneyland is to
providing that experience.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah, yeah, it's that kind.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Of like that sense of escape that no child is
disappointed on our grounds kind of fantasy.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Yeah maybe, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
It is that which just makes me go, what disappointed
you so badly that you need to.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Be doing this? Why can't you get high and.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Go to the movies like all the rest of us.
They just be like, oh yeah, Barbie, I love that.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
I mean yeah, if someone is a passholder, I'm like,
how do you deal with the line There's never a
day where it's not Maybe I'm in an ocean but
I can't deal with the I I've only gone purposefully
when it's raining.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
It's the only time.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
What do you typically do at the park when you're there?
Are you a rights person? Do you like people? I
love people?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Want you can tell Oscar has a podcast because he
is hosting from the Back, I.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Feel like and I love it. I love that and
I please keep doing it. Yeah, because it's hard for
me to summon questions. I am a ride per I
very much like the Indiana Jones ride, where there's an
actor that's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Like giant rolling rocks when he's running.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I always try and do my Harrison for It's good. Yeah,
it's okay, but I have not every time I've been there.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
The Haunted Mansion.
Speaker 5 (23:49):
Is closed because that's right, a ghost mishappened.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I know, I've never never been on it.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
That's wild.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
What I know? Like Frog and.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Toad's why, Yes, when they go to Hell, it's just
an understated hell.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Also not in the movie at all. You know. I
went to the ride first and I was like, Oh,
I'm excited to watch this Disney movie because they're gonna
show Hell. Not in the movie at all. Wait, there's
a what is the movie it's part it's okay, so okay,
here something. So it's part of a of a package film,
(24:31):
which is a movie because this was during the wartime
where Disney was did not have any money, so they
created a bunch of shorts and packaged them together and
release them as feature films. Movies like Fun and Fancy Free,
The Toad's Wild Ride and Ncobah Crane like those were
all packaged together. So really it's it's part of the
(24:52):
Wind in the Willows short. Oh yeah, but no mention
of hell Toad does not Die.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
It's a lot like the Stephen King book that has
Shashank Redemption and stand by Me in it, but they're short.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Exactly yes, yeah, okah, good, I was really.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Going out on a lamp.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
I can tell that your background is an improfit because
you could have easily nobody.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
When did you move?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I moved here in twenty fifteen, and I was sort
of I'm from New York, so I reluctantly moved here
for work.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Oh when you were a kid, When did you move
to New York?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Like?
Speaker 4 (25:35):
When did Oh?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well, so I moved to the US when I was
twelve years old. Okay, wow from Colombia. And uh yeah.
I mean I'm from a village in South America. It's
me It's called Palma, and we had no paved roads.
It was very much like, Okay, this is a village.
So when I moved to America, I moved to Queens,
(25:59):
New York. And the craziest thing for me, I remember
being twelve and freaking out that people had their lights
on during the day. Oh wow, that to me was
something that was like insane. Yeah, I'm like, what do
you mean you have your lights on when the sun
is out? You losers?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
You heard of you were right?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, you were just wasting lights. You're wasting energy.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
So as a kid, that is making that adjustment, like
were you just because like, for example, it makes me
think of I went to.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
School with a girl who grew up with no TV.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, and on Monday morning after the weekend, all we
do is stand in circles and talk about the TV
shows we liked and whatever, and she just wasn't a
part of it and just was checked out. And I
was always like but sometimes she just stand there and
be like yeah, yeah, whatever, and like did you have
to spend a lot of time like kind of faking
it or did you like actually say, I don't know
(26:55):
what that is?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
What is that?
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Should I watch? Oh?
Speaker 3 (26:57):
I like? So when I was twelve years old, I
was going through puberty, I didn't speak the language, and
I was gay as hell, so I stood out, Oh
I love it. So I was like, Okay, as a
little immigrant kid, I need to find a way to
assimilate to American society, and the best and easiest way
to do that was just consuming media at nausea. I
(27:18):
still do that to this day.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Like in short Circuit, I'm done in number five, not
from concentrate.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
One of my favorite movies of all time is Earth
Girls Are Easy, which is with Jeff Goldzoom, Geena Davis,
Thank you, Julie Brown, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayne's and it's
about aliens living in Los Angeles in the eighties. And
I was very much like, Okay, I'm going to absorb
I am an alien and I'm absorbing everything there is
(27:50):
to know about American culture because the only we had
a TV in Columbia, but it was black and white
and we only I watched only two shows American shows.
One of them is The Hitchhiker, Oh You're kidding, yes?
And they watched Nights.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Oh no, you didn't even get the original film.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
So that's one where they're wearing leather jackets and you
don't even get to see them run.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Yeah, and everything was like a little paranormal. There was
like a paranormal arc. So that's that's what I thought
America was.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Like.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I was like, Okay, cool, awesome, everyone's in leather jackets
and they're either shooting each other or I.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Feel like I get it.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I get it.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, watch Nights.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They didn't have the Hoff in it, No, there was
they were like ghost hunting and they were ghost hunting.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yes, I love it.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yes, I didn't know that. I've never spent the evening
with the Oh I love it.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Uh So when I moved here, I was like, oh
my gosh, I need to. There's like music was a
big thing for me because I was like, because that's
how we communicate. It wasn't even like TV. It was
like listening to Lil Kim. It was listening to Next.
It was Maya, you know. Like, so I was just
its like, fully committed to listening to music. Watching MTV
was my church. That's all I did. Yeah, consume hours
(29:09):
and hours and hours of MTV and like got rid
of the accent as soon as I could, and yeah,
became like a normal felt like what's his name in
thirty rock high cool kids, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (29:24):
Yeah, Yeah, hello, fellow teams.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
It's funny though, because all my memories only go back
so far as to the day MTV started. Everything before
that was just how to hold a fork and yeah,
you know you got the important stuff, you did the
right thing.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yeah, exactly when in the eighties, because I was eleven
or ten when MTV came out and we were so obsessed,
Like when there were like family parties and we were
all supposed to be playing outside, it would be like
fifteen kids in the TV room with MTV on, and
we would all just to be silently watching it, and
like it was so revolutionary and so amazing to be
(30:05):
able to watch music and like like take it in
that way. We were obsessed with it, so like it
is it is like mainlining culture.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yes, absolutely, and it was the way everyone everyone spoke
through the lens of MTV. I mean it's also like
when TRL started, it was like it changed everything because
that was just mainlining culture that was watching all the
hottest music videos, listening to the all the new movies
(30:34):
that were coming out, all the you know, interviews with people,
you know. I found out about Harry Potter through an
interview with Stacy Urico, who sang that one song stuff
which we all know by heart, of course, of course,
and they're like, what do you read right now? And
she's like a Christian artist and she's like, I'm not
supposed to read this but Harry Potter, And I was like,
what is that?
Speaker 4 (30:53):
So that's how I got it.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
A Christian artist on TRL.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Yeah, I mean she wasn't like like an Christian artists,
Like she sang pop songs, but like they were all
very wholesome. Okay, it's it's like Jessica Simpson was quote
unquote Christian because you know that she was wholesome.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Any grant for the older folks, she's the og.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Uh bringing making the crossover.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I kind of like your biblical stuff more, I don't know.
I like the old.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
Intersecular stuff, which was like raise him up, wear red
denim skirt, do your ankles.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
That's a lesser known.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Serve your man, your man, everyone's sleeping with the wives.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Those are the best hits my.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
I kind of that's a hard thing though at twelve,
because God, you had to like really figure some ship
out for yourself. Because like my sister is a first
grade teacher and she every year has a whole classroom
full kids who on the first day of school speak
no English and on the last day of school speak
perfectly English. And that's for like, I think it's one
(32:02):
of the things she loves the most and is the
proudest of. Is like that's they they learn from each other,
they absorb each other, and little kids are so like
ready to learn. But like if you're twelve, you there's
other stuff you need to worry about.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
And especially in New York City where I mean, were
you when you were a kid just hanging out in
the city singing for the first time, like the.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
In the streets.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
On that cab.
Speaker 5 (32:34):
It's just because I feel just when I visit there,
I feel like, oh, I got to catch up with
this city, motivating to be there, but I can't. I
always think about kids that grew up, Yeah, what was it?
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Like you know, it's so interesting because like when even
in high school, like because I'm from Queens and people
in New York City are so bound to their borough. Like, no,
if you were from Queens, you were never hanging out
in New York City. You were never in you were
never in Brooklyn, you were never in the Bronx. You
hung out in Queens. You found places to hang out
(33:07):
in Queens. I went to Steinway Street, which is like
the cool place in oh and also Flushing because there
was a giant arcade in Flushing, and that's all I
did to play dancedance Revolution till my freaking feet bled.
It was like my pastime. Or we would go to
the Barnes and Noble and hung out in the occult
section because I was a dark kid, you know. That's
(33:29):
what we did. That's what we did. But if you
were like, oh, there's a cool thing in Manhattan, We're like, no, no, no,
we're from Queen. No way.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Because that's the one thing I realized every time I
visit there. As as far as service area, it's not
a big You can walk across the all of New
York City and but it isn't Yeah, you would stick
to your.
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Yeah where are you from? Originally me Montana? Montana was
like it was beautiful. I mean, I go back now
and I feel lucky. But as a kid, I was
I was.
Speaker 5 (34:05):
Bored, and it was a lot of hanging out in
basements and drinking too early and snowboarding.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I am jealous that you grew up in New York City.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
I want it's interesting. It's interesting because like for me,
I always felt very jealous because I never had that
sort of like I don't want to say small town vibe,
but like, for example, I never had lockers ever, and
that was like a big regret of mine. I was like,
I want to go to a school where they have lockers. Oh,
(34:38):
none of the schools that I want to have lockers.
And I was furious, Yeah, well it's cubby shit. You know.
My high school didn't have a sports teams, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
I was like, okay, well, okay, weird. So I didn't
have that that whole like sports culture thing. My college
didn't have any sports, and greek life was banned in
my college, so we didn't have like fraternities or sororities.
I think that's for the best, absolutely, but I always think, like,
what would it be like to go to a school,
you know, that sort of stereotypical school. Yeah, lockers and
(35:08):
sport you know what I mean? Like Friday Night like style.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, yeah, I remember seeing there was when I was
like fifteen, on the cover of some magazine that wasn't
that was a very famous national magazine. I want to
say that it was like on par with Life Magazine,
but Life Magazine was already gone. And I'll never forget.
It was like the typical American teenager. And there was
this girl sitting at a table and her mom was
(35:33):
handing her a muffin and she was like like bangs
and blonde hair and you know, just looked like the
typical cute white girl from nineteen eighty two. And I
remember just staring at it being like, well, that's not
what I look like, and that's my Mom's never here
in the morning to hand me a muffin. I've never
been handed a muffin, And I was like this one
(35:54):
thing that made me go insane and like I was
like born into the entire culture, like you never It
feels like part of the scam is that you never
feel like you're doing it the way America does.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Right. Also, you're fixated that thing that you never got
to do that you thought was so essential to for
me anyways, an immigrant kid, so essential to American culture. Yeah,
because my whole thing was just like, oh, I'm here
in the US, I am one of you, right, And
there was always something that was like, no, no, not
quite no, No, you're a little too gay to be
(36:28):
an American. You're a little too brown to be an American.
You're a little too weird to be an American. You know.
So I just felt a little like okay, and then
finally I was like, Okay, fuck this, and then.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Here comes twenty twenty three. We're like, that's how you
got to be, that's the best way to be.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
And finally it's probably those coping with those things is
why you're funny.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
True. I mean, I guess, like the I think the
requisite to.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Be they were in the right.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
It just was a horrifying It's the scariest corner in
all town. Is proximity to the scientology. Also is back,
let's watch an Eli Roth Horne doctor.
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
No, but I wait, what was saying.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
I totally forgot it was you were talking about the.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Basically, I think with being comedians, the requisite is having
a point of view, a perspective, and I think there
has to be some self awareness and I think being
on the outskirts of society or like feeling like you
were not completely a part of it sort of geared
your brain into analyzing the world and how interesting the
(37:40):
world works outside of your perception. And that's to me
how I hone my comedy skills. I'm like, Okay, I'm
able to analyze this thing that everyone sort of like
takes for granted or just like does on the day
to day basis, and I'm like, that's weird. That's weird
because here's my perspective.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Ye, you know, and you kind of have to.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I feel like I was doing the same thing, and
it's that feeling of like, oh, you don't think I
could be on the cover of this magazine being receiving
a muffin. Okay, Well, then I'm going to figure out
why that's stupid, and then I'm going to really I'm
going to like analyze it to a granular level and
then verbalize it so that everyone knows I never wanted
(38:23):
the fucking muffin and I don't care that I don't
belong in this specific way that I'm supposed to and
clearly don't exactly and like make it okay for myself exactly.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
And you think about that girl with the blonde bangs
and you're like, wow, what is your life like?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, you're like, what is your life like? Being the
subject of so much hate from me?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It must have been horrible.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
I don't notice you've had bangs? How did you start
at UCB in New York?
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Then I want here?
Speaker 3 (38:59):
I did. I took a class in New York and
I was terrified. I was a okay, So my story
is I was a professional dancer. That was like my
past life.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Wow, and what kind of jazz? Hip hop?
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Modern? Modern contemporary? But I did. I still do some
hip hop, but as a dancer, I was terrified of performing,
and especially when I was you know, out in the
world auditioning, we had to like, you know, freestyle and
that was like the most paralyzing thing. I can learn choreography,
(39:34):
but asked me to come up with choreography on the spot.
I couldn't, so I would like not book anything, and
it was freaking me out. I was like I need
to get over this stage right thing.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
And my friend at the time, Christian Jacobs, who I
call Chopper, was like, you should take an improv class
and I'm like, no, I don't think so like, that's
not really my thing. I don't know about that. He's like, no,
it's okay. There's all kinds of people take classes, like
you know, there's lawyers and then there's you know, stay
at home parents who take it. You'll be fine. I
was like, okay, I signed up for a class and
(40:04):
everybody was like I need to be on SNL and
I was like, oh god, I just like want to
learn how to talk without stuttering.
Speaker 4 (40:11):
And it's great.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I left and then but you know, after that one class,
I was obsessed.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Well you left, You left the class like you couldn't
handle it.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Yeah, I couldn't handle it, but I was obsessed because
it felt like a magic trick to me. I'm like,
what do you mean you can do whatever you want?
Like how is this possible? So for two years I
just like was I went to see every show. I
was just like obsessed with it. You studied it, study
full of study, his book, all of it, all of it.
(40:42):
And then after two years, I was like, maybe I
should go back because like I feel, I feel like
maybe this is like an obsession I have. And I
went back and I did it at a place called
the People's Improv theater in New York, and everything sort
of clicked for me and it changed my life.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
You know, did you find your people there?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Absolutely? I found my freaks. Isn't that a errative?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Yes? It is.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
You got to find your freaks no matter where you are.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
That's so.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
And that was a big thing about moving to LA
because I had my freaks all like, all squared away
in New York, and then moving to LA, I was like,
I don't know anybody.
Speaker 5 (41:15):
You just had a printed out pieces of paper with
the photos of all the freaks.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
And then I'll never forget you.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Did you freaks?
Speaker 5 (41:22):
Did you go to the the UCB That reminds me
of a high school and I imagine there being lockers there,
but I think it.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Closed on sunset?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:32):
Yes, yes, I felt like every time I performed there
just doing stand up, but I felt like everyone goes
to school here and their arms across because they were
they They're judging what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
They're not are you serious?
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:44):
I always felt there, specifically the one on Franklin I
always had.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
That's some of my best stand up memories.
Speaker 5 (41:51):
And yeah, La, but but it seemed like at school,
it seemed like a comedy high school.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Well, also, it was almost like the audience was in
a set of an audience like it always looked goofy
as hell where it's like why are all these people
in these weird blocked off areas. Yes, and it looked
like it looked like the Star Trek like panel of
judges that we're gonna be like you have to go
to the isolation planet.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Well, I think also with it just was like such
a quote unquote real theater space that like, the audience
just felt so far away from you, and anytime you
were performing, you were like, is anyone out there?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Like?
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Why am I?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
What?
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Do I feel like? I'm screaming into the void a
place in Franklin, everyone's closer. You feel like, Okay, they're
fucking on the stage, literally on the stage, grabbing your feet.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
Yeah, it's great, but the Sunset place just felt so removed.
It just felt sore.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
Do you teach now?
Speaker 3 (42:46):
I teach at Actually we're about to drive past the
training center, one of the training centers at uc B.
Speaker 4 (42:55):
I did. Really, it's over here, right here.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
It's it's uh, it used to be a bar, remember
bar classes that were hot.
Speaker 5 (43:04):
That's what I was thinking about the whole time because
I got my hip replaced, and I hesitantly it started
taking bar methic. Oh my god, so it's the only
guy in there, and I felt yes, uh, And then
it got to the point where it's like, hey, you're
getting good at this.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Would it became amazing. It's something I really was enjoying.
Speaker 5 (43:24):
But then I moved over here and that was the
only I'm like, Okay, eventually I gotta go there.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
It's funny to think.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Would you ever do like ballet?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I don't know that I want to take on.
Speaker 5 (43:36):
I am already like, get too interested in things, and
I spread myself.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
It's a bad thing.
Speaker 5 (43:43):
I but I'm weird and I have to get good
at things, and I'm I have to. I finally quit
playing billiards because I was getting all sucked into that world.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
No, I can't add dance.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Wait, how did you get into the first place.
Speaker 5 (43:57):
Well, it's it's code for I would stringing too much.
But yeah, Little Joy is right by my place, and
I was going there a lot, and I've quit drinking
and so I stopped playing pool. But I can't add
dance to the men. I do want to go to
bar method again, though, it just reminded me of you.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Can't because the ucb's in their training people.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I know you can do bar at the UCB.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
Oh, yeah, can go there with All my characters are
bar based.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Here's the bar you know, perfect form. The characters are
just barbages, all the different barbages.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Chris, we've seen the skifts before. Yeah, we don't want
to do that, but here's another bar. Have you ever
thought about the barbage? That's actually nice.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
My bar instructor has sent me a birthday card with
note like you made so much progress, We're so proud.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
Of you, like they were.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
It was.
Speaker 4 (44:59):
I was in with that. It was like a little family.
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I didn't expect it because I just went there to
deal with a therapy issue, like yeah, hip therapy.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
That's kind of Yeah.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
That's great though, but for you it's even greater because
now you're teaching, but also.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
You're going kind of back to your dance roots with
your bar method.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Right. Yeah, it's in the rooms of the temple.
Speaker 4 (45:24):
The smell is still there.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Is the bar up on the wall? Are there any mirror?
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Lind?
Speaker 3 (45:28):
Now they that all away, which is like, what the heck,
what's the.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
Point point, Well, do you ever do hot improv though
all the time?
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Yeah, gotta be funny and sweating.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
What's your favorite part about Los Angeles knowing that it
sucks for sure compared to New York.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
I don't think it sucks. I don't think it's.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
You're not allowed to contradict.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
You can't think of the ocean.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Please don't argue, or I won't drive you home. Kick
me out of this car.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
What I love about I love My favorite thing about
LA is that there's so many hidden, weird little places
in LA that if you like dig enough, you'll find yeah,
you know, and it's it's like ugly. There's like ugly
places to laye. I love discovering some like bizarre little
(46:27):
bookstore in downtown La. Downtown was like the ugliest place
in the world, you know, pretty rough. It's rough, it's rough,
but I love it. I love how like it just
reminds me of like pre Jiuliani New York City, do
you know what I mean? Just like very sort of
a little dangerous. Yeah, kind of like that. But yeah,
that to me, that's the fun The funnest thing is
(46:49):
just like wandering around because like La has a reputation
of it not being a walkable city, and yes, that
is true. But within the confines of like the neighborhood,
you can walk around and just covered new places. There's
always bizarre little places that you can just walk into.
Speaker 5 (47:04):
Yeah, in this area especially, it's I love being able
to walk. I used to live at the beach and
it was like, well, I gotta drive everywhere. I guess
I'll hang out.
Speaker 4 (47:13):
I can go.
Speaker 5 (47:15):
In Marina del Rey, and I wish I didn't realize
that I was missing out on this whole city.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
Are you a beach person?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
I guess I was for seventeen years.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
But now being over here, I feel like I'm much happier.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
Have we all seen the full moon yet?
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Where is it?
Speaker 5 (47:34):
If we wait long enough, a witch will stop silhouetted
in friving.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I mean that's crazy looking.
Speaker 5 (47:40):
Yeah, that's that's a cardboard, that's a lamp, that's a prop.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
It doesn't look real. It does not. So what does
a full moon mean? Like? Right, like there's some significance.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
The sun is completely behind it.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Oh, I meant like you know about our energies or so,
right judging by judging by this hen right now, none
of us.
Speaker 4 (48:04):
Should date scorpios. I don't know much better.
Speaker 3 (48:10):
I dated a Scorpio for seven years. I know.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
They're crazy, right.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
They're just you know, you know, you know they're the
cool thing about Scorpius is that they're loyal and they're
horny as hell. That's fine, right, but they are vengeful typically.
I don't know if y'all are astrology.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
I release I like to be, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
There's certain signs I don't know about because it's not
it's either not my sign or I haven't liked a
person with that.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
What's your sign?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Taurus?
Speaker 3 (48:43):
I love a Taurus? Do you I love a Taurus? Wait?
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Would you say your sign is?
Speaker 3 (48:48):
I'm in aries? Oh yeah, what's your sign?
Speaker 5 (48:52):
I know nothing about it, but I know when I
tell them when I say mine, people go, oh, and
it's Aquarius. Apparently it's the most hated. It's they're lying
to you.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
Aquariuses are fun, You're weird.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
People only got negative what like people exhausted with me already?
Speaker 3 (49:13):
No?
Speaker 4 (49:13):
No, because I'm selfish. No, I'm an artist or what.
I don't know what it means.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
I know any time I read about them in a
horoscope situation, it's like, yeah, well that's true.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
That's true too.
Speaker 5 (49:28):
There's something to this, but I don't have time for it.
I have to play billiards.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Wait, do you know your other two year rising in
your moon sign?
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (49:40):
I know, I'm you're the rabbit. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
I am a tours sun Leo moon Sagittarius rising.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Okay, right, a lot of fire.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
A lot of like please, ma'am, keep your voice down.
Speaker 4 (49:57):
Action, Yeah, out closed.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (50:03):
I don't know anything about this.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Well, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
You would have to kind of be into astrology because
that's all the stuff if or be on TikTok, which
that's how I learned. Oh really, because at first it's like, oh,
here's I'll read your tarot cards, but also it has
to do with your horoscope, and then they start doing
things of like actually your sun sign isn't even about
your personality. You need to know your blank and it
(50:28):
would yeah, it would just kind of like change.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Months to month. If you need to know you're this,
you're that.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yeah. I mean it's all a scam, you know, but
it's fun to think about it.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
I mean, I sure do buy a lot of hair
products and makeup on that thing telling me what my
tarot reading is just like, ah, I'll buy more makeup.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
Fine, It's like a leo, like eyeliner, whatever comes up.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
They're so good at doing it where it's like the
first thirty seconds is like, guys, I'm so tired today,
and you think a joke is coming. You think they're
going to tell you a good story, and then suddenly
they just start putting on blush and you're like, oh,
I need that.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
That's I need that.
Speaker 4 (51:06):
It's an astrologist person.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Well that that's kind of a I'm an exaggerate. They
usually don't combine that many things, but sometimes they do.
Speaker 5 (51:16):
When I started in Austin, Texas, and there was a
place that was a it was a poem reader.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
I think it was a couple.
Speaker 5 (51:24):
Uh so one of them read palms and there was
like a neon palm on the other side. It was
a used car place, and so I always thought it
would be like they're, oh, your lifeline, I see in
your future a slightly used Chevy Burretta or whatever. I
always thought that they had to and I thought that's the.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
The ultimate power couple.
Speaker 5 (51:51):
That's the best way to sell cars is to see
it into someone's future.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
Convince them that you have.
Speaker 3 (51:59):
I will say, I have a really crazy story about
poem reading. Yes, so I okay. I have to preface
this story by saying I've had a recurring dream since
I was five years old, yes, that I would fall
off a cliff. And as I'm falling off a cliff,
I always think to myself, I never made it to
my twenty ninth birthday. Okay. I'm walking down the street
(52:20):
and some lady stops me in the middle of the street.
This is like when I was twenty two, twenty three
and she says, I just need to read your poem
for a second. I was like, oh god, I'm in
Queen's I'm busy, I got places to be and she's like,
give me your palm and I'm like okay. I don't
know why I said okay, but I was like okay.
And the first thing she says to me, she's like,
I don't think I don't know why you think you're
(52:42):
gonna die before you turn twenty nine, but that's not
gonna happen.
Speaker 5 (52:45):
You have a.
Speaker 4 (52:45):
Guardian twenty nine.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
And I was like what and she's like, you haven't
guardian Angel Looking up for you, and I was like, okay,
this is too crazy. And then she's like, come with me,
and I was like no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (53:00):
You're wearing a necklace of human teeth.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
Your hair is literally snakes.
Speaker 5 (53:08):
My right arm has turned to stone. That's so because
I say I'm not an astrology person or I don't
not believe in it, I'm just I have no interest
in it. But you think I would be After a
similar situation like that, I was with a friend and
a woman was coming out of a bar, not the method,
(53:30):
but a drinking clay and she said, hey Aquarius, Hey
Scorpio as she rocked and we both I was like,
are you a Scorpio because I'm an Aquarius? Like we
figured it out. Whoah, you fully live in my neighborhood?
Speaker 4 (53:46):
Wait where do you live right around the corner from here?
Speaker 3 (53:49):
What? Yeah, we neighbors. We are crazy.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Wait, just as a big finale anecdotally, did you make
it past your twenty ninth birthday?
Speaker 3 (53:59):
I did? That is also a really crazy story that
I've told a billion times. But what not dying? But okay,
so you know, like I thought I was gonna die,
but blah blah. So I book a commercial where I
have to bunge you jump, and I'm terrified of heights, right,
But you know, when you're like struggling and you're like
(54:19):
figuring it out, you lie and you say, yeah, I'm an.
Speaker 4 (54:21):
Ext berday and you were twenty eight man.
Speaker 3 (54:23):
I was twenty eight, yes, so I was like, oh yeah,
I bunge it up all the time. So I book
this commercial. We're at a park in New Jersey. They're
like telling me what to do. And my birthday is
April twelfth, Okay. We shot this commercial on April fifth,
on my twentieth birthday, about to turn twenty nine. I
go to this park and I'm like, I'm going to die.
I'm going to die here. Yeah, And I'm fully like, okay,
(54:45):
now I have to do I stop the commercial and
do I say, like, I can't shoot this. I'm going
to die.
Speaker 4 (54:50):
I've seen it, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (54:52):
Or And my dumb ass was like, you know what,
I'm just gonna never mind, let's just continue. And if
I die, I die, you know, I'll die exactly.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
It's not just gonna come along any day exactly.
Speaker 3 (55:08):
So I'm you know, fully being like, okay, this is
the dam I'm gonna die. I make the PA take
a picture of me, being like, okay, this is the
picture that the newspapers are gonna share. It's on my Instagram.
So if you go on my Instagram, my picture is there.
And right before I go, the rangers come up and
(55:30):
they're like, hey, what's going on. Do you have a
permit for this? And they're like, yeah, we have a permit.
They're like no, no, do you have a bungee jumping permit?
They're like no, we don't need and then they're like, okay,
we can give you one really quick. We just need
to do a couple of things. So they do something,
they go back down, and then they go back. They
come back up half an hour later and they're like,
we're shutting this down. Turns out the cord that they
(55:52):
brought was too long, and it wasn't They didn't measure
the height of the cliff that I was going to
be jumping, So if I actually jumped off, the cord
would have not I mean, I would have died.
Speaker 4 (56:07):
Holy shit.
Speaker 3 (56:09):
And I swear, I mean I swear to god. I
stopped having that dream afterwards, and I was like, holy fuck,
I didn't get my SAT card that day, unfortunately, because
it was in fact canceled.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
But you also didn't get your big death.
Speaker 4 (56:24):
That is the most amazing story.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
That is incorrect.
Speaker 3 (56:30):
It's wild, you know, and you know, like, you know,
do I believe in the sort of Juju universe stuff?
I have to. I have to because this insane thing
happened to.
Speaker 4 (56:39):
Me, you know, after that.
Speaker 2 (56:41):
I mean, that is that is beyond wild. And also
it's all those facts. But the idea that you went,
fuck it if I die, I died.
Speaker 3 (56:51):
Crazy is like I was willing to die for this
stupid Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (56:56):
And it's true.
Speaker 5 (56:57):
They when I bungee jumped, they asked your weight and
everyone had a different length of bungee and one girl
lied about her weight and her friend was like.
Speaker 4 (57:05):
Oh, you don't lie about your weight for this thing.
It's important.
Speaker 5 (57:08):
Like I think she normally was just undershooting it. Sure,
but it is very that's so scary.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
You gotta know this. You got to know these things.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
I'm so glad you're alive.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
I'm so glad you lived to thank you. This was delightful.
Speaker 5 (57:29):
What are telling what fully We're emotionally affected by that story.
Speaker 4 (57:34):
It's the best way to close this episode out.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Do you want to plug anything? Do you have anything?
Speaker 3 (57:39):
Oh? Yeah, well you know you can watch Minks on Stars.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
I love that show. I'm so sorry we didn't talk
about it. I love it.
Speaker 3 (57:46):
Thank you so good, Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (57:48):
I like the main guy is he's my favorite person.
He's so what is it about that guy?
Speaker 1 (57:55):
Do you like him?
Speaker 3 (57:56):
Of course? I love everyone on that show. Okay, it's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
That's very professional thing of you to say no, but.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
It's really, it's true. It's true. I would. I would.
I would give you the tea. If there was someone
I didn't like, I would. I was straight up tell
you M I n X, M I n X. It's
about the first female magazine, Erotic Magazine, based on Playgirl
magazine from the seventies. I played the photographer Richie, so
I take pictures of lots of pen and there's a
(58:22):
lot of penis on the show. Yeah, there is a
lot of penis on the show.
Speaker 2 (58:25):
It's such a it's like it's a really good cast.
There's the main woman. Sorry, I never know anyone saying
the main woman is this British actress and Ophelia such
a good actress. I was so excited to see her
when I was watching that and you bond Jake Johnson.
Speaker 4 (58:42):
That's the ex ser for guitar player.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Yes, yeah, Jack Johnson.
Speaker 5 (58:47):
Jack, that guy sings.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
Yeah. So watch Max on Stars. Watch Dicks the Musical,
a twenty four movie. I'm in it is there? Uh
is there?
Speaker 4 (59:07):
Peece in the Dicks like Private Dicks.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Dix is like there. It's about two guys who are
It's a musical. It's a twenty four's first music. Oh wow,
it's very fun, very stupid. And you can follow me
at osimo o z z Ymo on Instagram and X
I guess it's called now.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
No you're gonna get off that ut a whatever? Yeah,
exactly across.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
And that's called the full circle Moment. Yes it is.
Speaker 4 (59:35):
You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D
y n a Hong Kong. This has been an exactly
right production.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 4 (59:52):
Mixed by Edson Choy.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 5 (59:56):
Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff, artwork by Fairbanks.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y nar podcast for.
Speaker 5 (01:00:07):
More information go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
Thank you both. You're welcome
Hosts And Creators
Karen Kilgariff
Chris Fairbanks
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