92 - The Halloween Special

This week, Karen and Georgia read your spooky ghost stories just in time for Halloween!

*Note: This episode has been re-edited from the original posting.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi, Oh Georgia. Hi, so nice to see. Nice to
see you, Karen. Love your green top. Thank you. This
is my one of two blouses. There's color. I like
the color. I just decided to go with some color. Right.
It shocks people, It brings things out of you. It brings.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
For about four minutes ago, I had fake eyelashes on
my God. But and yet then the rest of me
is dressed like I've been in bed for four days.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
It's a great combination. Well, I have something to tell you. Okay,
it's not a big deal.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
But as of today, Mimi is on prozac. Why my cat?

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:00):
What am I the most Los Angeles person you've ever
met in your fucking life. My cat and I are
on pharmaceutical for depression and anxiety.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Wait? Why is Meme on prosaic? She's so chill.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
She's a grumpy bitch and she's unhappy.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Where did you get the prozac? My therapist, you're not.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
We took her to the vet and I was like, look,
she's just hiding in a box of my favorite murder
merch all day. Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
People love that. We should make them pay extra freight
for MEMI for Yeah, so it'd be so pissed. If
I ordered some new shirt and it, I would be like,
I have all my own animal hair. I don't need this.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
So, as you can tell, this is the spooky episode
of my favorite murder.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
We start out with the creepiest thing of all, a
cat on prozac.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Everyone who's not from Los Angeles, she's like, what the
fuck is wrong with these people?

Speaker 2 (01:53):
That's hilarious. Oh yeah, so this is our special Halloween episode.
Yeah where because our normal show is not scary at
all or creepy or a huge bummer, So we figured
we'd go a little ghosty for you on this one.
And we asked you guys to write us your personal
real We begged you to make them true.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah, and we were read for truth. Authenticity is that
what it's We read for authenticity to make sure you
guys weren't lying liars who lied?

Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
And Stephen, Stephen, a lot of people don't know this,
but in his mustache there is a lie detective. So
he will sniff that shit out. The second literally flicks
that email open, he'll be like, uh uh uh uh uh.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
No way, Stephen's mustache, keeping you honest.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
My mustache is tingling there's lies in this email since.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Nineteen eighty five. I don't know when he was born.
I'm guessing it's ninteen eighty five.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
I bet it was in the late eighties, eighty seven. Yeah,
I wasn't specific. I can't. I'm pretending to be that
I won that somehow, and I didn't.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
You did, and I just try too hard sometimes by
guessing we were bound out.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
I'm gonna go, don't hey, take a product real quick?
Take one.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Take one of Mimi's products for fine. But I'm gonna
say I'm gonna give a quick reminder. We have European
tour dates that will be available this Friday, so if
you live in any of these foreign cities, they won't
be foreign to you. Dublin, Ireland, Oslo, Norway, Stockholm, Sweden, London, England, Manchester, England,

(03:29):
I believe is how they pronounce it.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Or Amsterdam on Netherlands.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Okay, you guys in those cities, Your tickets go on
sale this Friday, October twenty seventh, which is tomorrow. So
if you want to come and see us all weirded
out in a foreign country and talking about our passports
and stuff, please buy your tickets on Friday.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
We'd love to see you. That's the only way you're
gonna hear us talk about our passports.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, that's not true that we're very secretive about our
passport normally because their government documents.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, we don't fuck around with government documents. No way.
We're very serious when we go through customs. Yeah, we're respectful.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
I take my glasses off, I get nervous and my
upper lip sweats, and then they're like, we know you
have drugs on you.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
You take off your fake mustache, that's.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Right, and then you peel off your mission impossible masks.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right. We're like, it's me. It's me again. It's me. Hey, Hey,
it's me Karen. Let me into your country.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
G d it, g d it. Sorry, I'm a little whippy.
Came from work. I'm in the final stages of coming
from work on this podcast. It's only last night. George
and I had dinner Steven this so you'll think this
is funny. And the one of the people at dinner
was like, how long have you been doing this podcast?

Speaker 1 (04:45):
I was like almost a year. George is like almost
two years. I was like what that blew my mind?

Speaker 3 (04:51):
No, mine too, I think I asked you as a question,
two years, Karen, No, Its like oh shoot, wait it
must be too it can't be right.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yeah, yeah, crazy, it's gone so fast, it's been so fun.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
That's a million years in podcast years, I think, Yeah,
two years for real, you know what I mean? Like
this is the fucking infancy of podcasting, and so that
means two years.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
It is a long time.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
So this is a dog years situation, is got it?
So this is like our seventeenth year coming up on?

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yes, do you know what we need to talk about?
What the thing that I've and everyone wants to talk
about this Mindhunter? Did I say it right?

Speaker 1 (05:34):
That's how you pronounce it? You pronounced yeah, right, let's
talk about it. So you're no, I'm not.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
I am on like episode five, and I must I
must sometimes, Okay, I don't.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
I'm a sometimes I don't want to talk show on
because I fucking like it. It's really cool and exciting. But
and I but it's but I'm a sometime.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Well there's so much build up, and I'm sure I
had a lot to do with.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
That, because there's no way I wasn't gonna love this. Yes,
I just I.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Permanently loved it before I ever laid my eyes on it,
and there were it did, of course, because all pilots
start slow and are difficult, But this I loved it,
and I like, I love his directing, and I love
whoever art directs for David Fincher.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Or there's like things like that I love. It's just
like seen by seeing that it's the interpersonal relationships of
certain characters that I don't give a shit about, Like
I love when they're actually interviewing the criminals. Then there's
others like the guy who played Ed Kemper needs all
the awards.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
I in my mind, I start going like, how did
you cast this role? Because you have to get a
guy that's like we need people that they have to
be over six six, like they have to be really giant,
but they also then have to be great actors.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
How many it's not like, you know, LA is full
of those people. So I'm like, this guy. I bet
you they found this guy in like the Canadian outback.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
He's probably really a serial killer. That's his jail he's
actually in. Yeah, they were like this he's just good.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
We have to hire hims, and I know it's weird,
but more things happen in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Wait, like what every day you read the articles?

Speaker 2 (07:21):
But I yes ed kemper Like for me, I was like,
I'm in whatever is happening here and whatever they're trying
to develop, because I could feel that thing of there.
It was it's, you know, a period piece. Basically, it's
like starts in the late seventies, all that those old cars.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Man, I was thinking the same thing when.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
They would kind of come around a corner and there
would just be streets lined with old cars and all different.
You know, they looked so real. I just I don't know,
I go way into the detail. But then I also
love that actor. So the lead actor I love.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
He's like a.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I mean, he's from a million things, but he's also
like a Broadway star. He's a little sweet baby angel
and beautiful and yeah and kind of had the perfect like.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
That's not how you picture and every like some hard nose.
I think cigarettes reminds me of Dennis from It's Always
Sunny in.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Philadelphia so much that I keep thinking it's.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
A joke, that it's gonna be like a sketch. Yeah,
but like he actually is a horrible person.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah, I don't know. Yes, it's very it's jarring to me.
I mean, I'm gonna keep watching, of.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Course, keep watching. I binged it when I think it
was when we were going we were leaving for the
Anaheim leg of the tour. I like to call our
weekend's Legs of Tours because that's how you know, rock
stars talk about it.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
But I bit.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
My friend Molly was like, oh, it's on right now
because they put it up at midnight on Netflix, and
I was like what.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
So I started watching it at.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
One am the night before we left for that weekend
because I was like, and I got I think I
got through the first five and then you know, we
had to leave, and then I came back at the end,
which was so satisfied.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Well, I speaking of Legs of Tours, We're going to
Tampa next weekend. Yeah, where there's an active fucking serial
killer shooting people.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
You sent me that Vince sent me that article. Uh yeah,
it's intense. Well that's intense, and we're going to solve it.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
We just have to. It's our job.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Now.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
I'm scared.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
This is how we we this podcast into the next level.
Some people are like, will you do a talk show?
Would you do it full feature length film. Yeah, you know,
you know what we're going to do. We're going to
join the Tampa pe d It's going to take about
six months.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Miami Dade here, we ready. We want one of those
pontoon boats.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
We want to get out on a boat, and we
want to solve swamp crime.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yes, swamp crime right, yes, and.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like cargo shorts and we eat frieday, alligator and anything else.
By the way, Madison, Wisconsin, thank you for your fucking
fried cheese kurds.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
And Minneapolis was no slouch on the dairy products either.
We were the funniest thing is So I had to
go back to We're taping the next round of talk show,
the game show right now, and the week.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Before I was like, I'm going to start eating clean.
I lose that like water salt weight that I've.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Been accumulating over the past year, Like it's my job.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
And so I was like, I'm just going to turn
it around. Blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, then we traveled to Minneapolis and Madison, Wisconsin, where
it was as if my only option was to eat
cheese everywhere it was, and we had so much fun
because we would just go to a place and then
be like, well, I guess we have to get the pretzel.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, and we have to try the fright tread. It's
the local thing. But then we also need wings because
we need something familiar. It wasn't protein. Oh no.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
The one night we were we went to dinner with
hilarious comedian Michelle Balloon and our sister Joanna, and we
had so many dishes on the table.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
It was hilarious.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Nachos, nachos, oh uh, chili, cheese fries.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yes, it was.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
I mean it was almost like we were being sarcastic
but with a bad eating But anyway, thank you guys
so much.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
In both Minneapolis and Madison, it was the best. We
had so much fun. We had a great time. And
I'm cheese is a drug.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I said it at the live show and I was
high on cheese.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
All weekend long, beautiful thing. It was so fun, all right,
So then we just go to sleep right now. Yeah,
good night, it's a drug. Remember cheese, good night, good night?
I love it. That's like as if we couldn't eat
it here. I know.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
That's what I always do with when I go to
a restaurant, there's a mac and cheese on the menu,
and I was like, oh, mac and cheese, I better
try to order it. Yeah, you absolutely don't have to.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
But what if there's lobster in it?

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Then I would throw the dish on the back. But
what if there's But what if they made it with
treffle oil.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Let's say there's treffle oil in it.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
Let's say there's a bread crust toasted on top of
set fuckingly.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Or the magic ingredient. When we were in I think
the Nnapolis, remember the what or was it Madison?

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Backstage, there was a mac and cheese.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
It was just a chunk of a hunk of like
like a square of cheese in the middle on top,
just to be like cheese and cheese.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
It's cheese flavored mac and cheese top of cheese. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
It looked like someone cut a triangle off a block. Yeah,
and then just stuck in the middle of the mac.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
And cheese just in case your girls need some more cheese. Yeah,
and we do.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Speaking of cheese, speaking of cheese, It's Halloween. And how
does you know I's going to do that? I knew
your transitions. It's been almost two years.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Shocking, now you know. Now you remember our anniversary.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
I'm like at the table, it's just like, I think
it's been eight months.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
You need to check your count. I think so too.
I think we should go with that. It's more fun.
I mean, two years, Jesus, what are we doing with
our lives? Okay, we're having a real good time. Well,
Halloween is when we started hanging out two years ago.
That's a shit nice one.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yes, Halloween two years ago is when the podcast was born.
It was in Udo, that's right. That's when we planted
the seed. That's when we did it with our personalities. Yeah,
that's when we actually boned. And then you know, you
don't get pregnant for like two or three.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Days, right, right, so it could take a while.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, and that's when you were like the inception moment
was Georgia texting I can't remember or calling me and
then being like.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Let's just do it, pot let's just do it podcast.
I was like, Okay, if you make it really easy
for me, yeah, then I will. And you're like, I will.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Let's have a baby together, we'll name a podcast. We'll
love her and par and take her. Yeah, sometimes we'll
shit all over her, that's right, Which is just a
human thing parenting shot on your baby? Well, shit about
the baby, exactly right.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah, what are you going to be for Halloween this year?

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Me, I'm going to be on my couch. What I
am over year? On my couch? Good?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
No? I actually our friend has a party that everybody
goes to that's a ridiculous, humongous Our friend scouting, and
he said I promised him that if we were in
town on the day he has it, that I will go,
because I always say I will remember. The year that
I was supposed to go, I drop my phone in
the pool and then I couldn't tell you that I
wasn't going.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
But it was so boozy I think you would have
lost your mind. Anyways.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, it's just like grown up alcohol, like grown up
drunk kid party.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, but fun so, I mean, just kind of legendary.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
But also I think I should do the thing of
the old people going early who cares about this topic
for real?

Speaker 1 (14:48):
But I also go early. I'll go early with you early.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
And then also because the parking is so crazy in
that neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Look how old we are, I mean, And these kids
are so loud and they take mare wan, Oh they're
so loud. They take marijuana. Take marijuana right next to you.
How could you even see what anyone's dressed as it's.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Too dark and your vision's gone because you're high on marijuana.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Okay, let's tell some spookies. Okay, let's cut all of
that out.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
Let's get the past twenty minutes out, Stephen, and let's
tell each other. We asked you guys to send us
in scary stories, and you guys interpreted that how you will.
Stevens must lying mustache of justice. Yeah, sorted those out
and here they are.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yes, go Karen, Okay, I'm gonna read this one first.
The subject line is I'm glad she didn't look us
in the eye.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Hi, hey, all sociopath. My story is from a couple
of years ago.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
My niece, two years old at the time, was standing
on top of my desk, pulling books out from the
attached bookshelf one by one. I stood behind her, ensuring
she didn't fall to her death should she trip on
a Nancy drew and stumble. I spent so much of
my life standing Nora, letting her do what she wanted,
and just being there, and then it just it's such

(16:04):
a weird feeling of like, Oh, I wonder how many
people did this for me when I thought I was
out by myself like doing stuff, and there's just an
adult there waiting to.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Catch you or not or for that should have been there,
yeah and wasn't. Yeah, okay, there's so many options everything. Okay.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
So I stood behind her said that to our left
is a bedroom door which goes into a hallway that
leads to the kitchen to the right and the garage
to the left, kind of like a three way intersection.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
We were in there for a little while, her pulling books,
me estimating how long it would tape to clean up.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
When it happened.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
From my peripheral vision, I saw my great aunt slowly
start to pass by the doorframe. I could see the
red robe she wore all the time, her short, curly
dark hair, and her ever present bright red tailor swift lipstick.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Oh my god, my.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Great aunt died four years before that day. When she
vanished from the doorframe, I scooped up my knees, who
had stared unblinkingly at her the whole time. So the
baby saw too, Oh my god, and followed. But when
I turned into the hallway, nothing was there. She was
one hundred percent real. We both saw her fun. But

(17:18):
no matter how many times I've told this story, absolutely
no and believes me. I'm into weird stuff. I believe
the luck Mess Monster is reeled me too, girl. No, yes, yes,
because because first of all, Okay, don't make me get mad.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
At you, Gerta A ready go. No, I don't like this.
I think the luck Steven. Are you with me on this?
I'm totally you, guys.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Because listen, and this might be your theory too. We
don't know what's in the ocean at all.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
It's not the ocean. It's a lake.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
But lakes are connected to the ocean in subterranean, underground tunnels,
and they could be living down in caves and places
that we have we don't know are down there because
no one's ever fucking explored.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I ninety nine percent of the ocean. I agree with
all of the all of that.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
The ocean is fucking amazing, and monsters are among them.
The Lockness Monster specifically was made up by a dude.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
You age, but that's a minting. That's not true. It's
not punk rock has nothing to do with the dead Kennedys.
Right now, you're trying to be punk rock about the
Lockness Monster, and I resent.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Why is my musical taste being brought into this argument,
because you're just you have to believe, you have to
it is the best idea.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
That's that's something that's a holdover from fifty million years ago.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Is like, oh, but I was hiding around the corner.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Nobody killed me off that when that when that meteor hit,
I was just chilling.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Oh and I saved all this algae. I don't know.
I just want to believe in it. Really insane.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Well, they found supposedly extinct selacanth fish like that had
been dead for millions of years, and they found it
like twenty years ago, and it's just been hiding out
under Madagascar for millions.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I believe in cedar carfish or whatever, but the Lockness
Monster specifically, I believe in dinosaurs.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Listen, I don't think he wears that little Tama shanter. Okay,
so that I agree with you is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, he doesn't have it. He doesn't wear a kilt. No,
that would be crazy. He's a fish, he can't wear
a skirt.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
Let's let's put a pin in this. I have and
say you're wrong and come back to it when that
luckness monster corpse washes up. Finally, I will one hundred percent.
I'll go on recording. Oh, I'll tell you you're wrong.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, I will not admit that I ever said any
of this, one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Karen, We have the recording. No, never, that never happened.
How do you believe in recording? I've double recorded this,
sucking aliens. I'm taking a picture of this recording. Okay, hey,
we've totally lost our place. I got the aunt. Oh
my god, that's right. I was scared.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
I forgot Guys, we're super scared. Remember the old lady
with a lipstick that passed.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
We believe her. A baby saw it.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
Baby, a baby watching a ghost is the scared that
you're seeing too.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
That's your proof. It's down and down.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
It's like humans have all these things that are like
getting the way of them, able to see these spiritual things,
and babies just like what a ghost?

Speaker 2 (20:21):
So okay, whatever, Why would that baby look away from
the greatest game in the world, pull books off her shelf?

Speaker 1 (20:26):
It wouldn't you still play that game? I love it,
and we're going to get.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Through one story. I love these ones. We just it's
all digressions. Okay. She says it was the most surreal
thing that has ever happened to me, and I remember
the moment clearer than anything else I've ever experienced. Looking
back on it, though, I remember she walked with her
head down, staring at the floor ahead of her, and

(20:53):
never turned to make eye contact with either of us,
almost like she didn't see us. At the time, this
confused me, but now that I've had time to think
about it, she looked miserable, and I'm really grateful she
didn't make eye contact with me. I have no reason
to think this, but it can't be a good omen
to make eye contact with a dead person.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, that makes sense, that's good logic. I don't want
to ever make eye contact with a dead person. I'm
not just say that on this podcast. Yeah, it's controversial.
Stance yep again, punk rock, punk rock again, well ravy kind.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Of, it's all my bad musical tastes getting a thrown.
You're in your big pants?

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Yeah, have you ever posted that picture of you with
those big pants on the choker on which one it's
the one that looks like it's the cameras on the ground,
like it's almost all pants.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
You look like a pants model, you know that one.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
I think, so you have to post it that you're
so like nineteen ninety four.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
You know, I know, well, I'm still not done with
this email.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Go on, uh.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
Pants model, pants model.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
I don't know what it was or what it meant,
but I hope she found peace, even if she hasn't,
if she hasn't already anyway, that's my ghost story. Love
you guys, even Stephen. F oh, even Stephen. I thought
they were saying it like the same, Like now we're
even Steve, even Stephen, that's a given.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
I'll always loves Stephen.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah, that was genuinely and legit creepy.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
I love the idea of like seeing us being walked by.
It's not like I saw this thing out of the
corner in my ear, like I would come into the
kitchen and all the drawers were open, because that's the
fucking scariest thing in the world, right, Like nothing is
scarier than all the whatever it's being open, yes, or
like all the things taken out of this thing and
placed on top of this thing in.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Those like conjuring movies when they do that when it's
like someone steps out of the kitchen.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
When they go back, all the chairs are in a pile.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
Sixth sense in that scene, Yes, when the mom comes
back into the kitchen and everything's just piled up.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yep, murder of us. Run, yeah, running, goodbye. You wish
you could run, but you have to stay all right,
Let's do the big Hairy Man. Okay. I love those.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
This is a love story, not a ghost about how
I love Harryman, HM, Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen and all
our favorite furree babies. I finally decided to write to
you after seenior request for scary spooky stories. Till this day,
my mother still thinks I'm crazy. When I was run
the age of five, I had a bunk bed. I'm

(23:30):
a side sleeper, and if I laid on my right side,
I could see my doorway.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Being five, I had the worst being five.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
The worst thing in the world would be sleeping in
a room with a closed door.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I had to have my door open. Ditto. Yeah. For
about six months. Often I would wake up in the
middle of the night.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm not sure what time, but all the lights would
be out and everyone would be sleeping in my doorway.
I would see a figure. It was large enough to
fill the entire space. You could see the outline of
what I would describe as hair and red eyes. There
would be heavy rhythmic breathing. What I would sometimes wonder
if was the sound of my father sleeping across the hall.

(24:06):
When I would think about this later in life, I
would be terrified. I didn't want him to know I
was awake, so I'd pretend to be sleeping and casually
roll over. Well, little me thought it was casual. I
would eventually fall asleep. I would tell my mother about him,
and she would dismiss him as a figment of my imagination. Finally,
after one night, I said to myself, when he comes back,
I'm going to jump off the bed, kick him between
the legs, and run across the hall to my parents' room.

(24:29):
He never came back. Years later, in Grade nine, It's
Up Canada, I was at a sleeper.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
With some friends of mine.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
We were all telling stories and I began to talk
about the big hairy man. One of the girls finished
describing him.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I was floored. She told me to speak to our
friend Blake. I saw him in the hall at school.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Then following Monday, all I said to him was big
hairy man with glowing red eyes. His eyes started to
tear up. How do you know that? He said, Oh,
I said, I saw him too. He proceeded to tell
me the The big hairy man would sit at the
end of his bed watching him. He says they spoke,
but he doesn't remember what they said. Two years later,

(25:08):
summer school, I'm talking to this chick. He would stand
at the end of her bed and watch her. About
a year after that, at a party at my friend's
house where I was crashing for the night, I was
sharing a bed with my friend Peter, laying in the dark,
I was telling him the story. He said, if you
could see me right now, I have tears in my eyes.
He used to stand outside my window at night. Finally,

(25:29):
about five years ago, talking to a girl I worked with,
he would stand at the end of her bed too.
None of us have any childhood connections. None of us
went to the same elementary school and only met in
high school or after. None of us could find a connection.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
Now and my.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Husband goes away for the weekend with the kids, all
doors are fucking closed, including closets, just in case. After
telling my mother all the sightings, the woman still thinks
I'm crazy. Stay sexy and close your bedroom door before
you sleep tonight, Kelly.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Now that's super creepy. Diiver, tell you my story about
seeing something weird.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
No, When I was a kid, like five, five years old,
and I was sleeping in a bunk bed at night
and we had it like you could. At the end
of the bunk bed was a mirrored closet like the
moving doors kind yep. And I was laying there late
at night, everyone was sleeping, and I saw the closet
door open on.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Its own, like a foot just like pushed open on
its own. And I freaked the fuck out and run
in my parents' room. And that's it.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
And you don't know what, oh, I I remember it happening, like.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
I don't think that was a figment of my imagination
because it actually.

Speaker 3 (26:40):
Fucking opened, yes, and you were awake. I was awake
and it opened. That's super creepy. And I had to
like get all of my fucking courage to run because
I had to run past the closet door.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
I mean that those moments of like when you are
really young, you running, uh, Kelly right. Kelly turned over,
turning her back to like basically a monster in the doorway.
Like even those moments of like being brave as little
kid are so huge.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yeah, your adrenaline is just pomping. It's so I mean,
that's so scary. Okay, let's see.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Sorry I fucked up these pages. Wedding dress ghost Hi
Karen Georgia, Stephen Elvis, Mimi. I grew up in an
old coal house off the railroad in old Minneapolis. Perfect start.
I was in a Rundown area of the city. It
was in a rundown area of the city as though
as though a designer had just said rust was their vision. Anyway,

(27:37):
the house was haunted. The trouble began when my parents
bought the house before I was born. My mother found
a wedding dress in the attic, originally belonging to the
old woman who died in the house. Apparently her husband
had left her years before and she died alone. Oh no,
and then I just start crying.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
And again, isn't that the scariest idea in the world,
dying alone?

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Happy Halloween.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Mom liked the dress, and since she was going to
get married, she decided to use this dress to save money.
Lady Lady you don't like it, the dead lady's attic dress.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
Well, if she didn't want someone.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
Else to use it, she should have burned it in
the backyard like a normal person.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
You know, Oh, you know how you do right after
you get married.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
This dress is actually when she goes to put it on,
it's just all made of moths, interconnected moths touching each other.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
They go fly away the moment it's on. Man, she
disappears too into moths.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yes, but then they're in a moth a moth pot
up in the city.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
And the daughter comes in, mom, and she goes money
from far away in a fan. Okay.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
To say my parents' marriage was rough would be an
understated it's because of the dress.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
They fought a lot, but the energy of the house
was a darker variety.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
When I was young, I hear someone calling my name.
When I'd investigate no one had called for me. I'd
see slithering shadows out of the corner.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Of my eyes. I get that all the time. I
always might be having a seizure. Honey, I make sure
I have floaters.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
There's all kinds of real Get your eyes checked, everybody.
But when I turned to look, the shadows were gone.
My mom noticed this and she was disturbed, but my
dad dismissed it as nothing allah the shining, which is
spelled the shinning. Even my dog would not go upstairs
at night, cowering whenever anyone tried to bring him near

(29:36):
the room and preferring to stay.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Outside the part. To me, that's so not dog. Yeah,
dogs are like, I'm good out here.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm gonna shiver in the yard where you should have
burned that fucking wedding dress. Brow, I'm gonna go shiver
and what should have been the wedding dress pit.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, it's way safer.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Out in the burning area. Things came to a head
when I was taking a bath. No, oh, you mean
the skeleton hand that came up through the bubble. No no, no, me,
I'll read this is what it actually says. I was
alone in the bathroom and I felt someone touch my back.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
No no, I was too scared to turn around. Oh no.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
And soon my mother came in and I rushed to
her crying. My parents' marriage fell apart, and eventually they
divorced and sold the place.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Since then, they've become best friends.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Oh no, I never felt that dark presence again, and
though I've waned in my belief in the supernatural, I
still get chills as an adult when thinking back. The
dress was lost in a move. Oh god, it's in
a box and someone else's fucking attic.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Now this is part two.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
It's the scariest goodwill in town.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
The dress was lowto in a move.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
But seeing so many B movies in my life, I'm
sure it'll come around or later. I swear I didn't
read that ahead, stay sexy, don't get murdered. Gratefully and sincerely, Alan,
Oh my.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
God, that's awesome. Scary.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
I mean you he had me at a wedding dress
in the attic.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Oh my god, totally. Oh that's terrifying. Okay, this that
the other, this one we did. Okay, you're ready for
ghost uncle gets his way?

Speaker 1 (31:14):
Uh oh all right.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
My great uncle Jack died when I was really young.
He was always really kind, but also deediously sarcastic kind
of guy. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and lived
for several years with it thanks to chemo. As he
grew older and weaker, my great aunt Roxanne had a
stand up shower installed in their bathroom so he wouldn't
have to step over the tub with the traditional bath.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
He hated that shower.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
He was in complete denial about being weak, and he
thought the glass sea through door was ugly and tacky.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Hey fucking men.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
He constantly asked her if they could go back to
the traditional bath. On the day of his funeral, Roxanne
was in the bathroom at the sink, taking a breather
from the reception, and out of the corner of her
eye she saw a figure moving towards the shower. Just
in time, she turned to look at the show hour
and the class door freaking exploded. The glass out of
nowhere shattered. Yes, needless to say, she went back to

(32:08):
a normal tub after that. That sarcastic, hilarious dude got
his way from beyond the grave SSDGM Patrick, Oh my gosh,
I love physical things happen.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yes, that's yes, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Oh Patrick, that reminds that just makes me think.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
After my mom died, I think I told you the story.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
But our good friend Ellen Ellen Slater, her father was
sick and this was say, like a couple months after
my mom died, and she went to she uh like
he had been sick for a while or whatever. She
went to bed one night and she dreamed that my
mom came to her and was like, you need to

(32:51):
get your shit together.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
You need to get ready because your dad's going to die.
And she woke up the next day and he had died.
Oh my, the same night. Yeah, yeah, what the fuck?
I totally believe in that. I do too.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I mean, how the night my mom's dad died. So
my mom like a couple of years poor I was born.
His name is George.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
It's fine Georgia.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
She was in New York visiting her sister, and they
were all out my family's from LA and out of
the window of like third story window, my mom hears
her dad yell her name Janet.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
She rushes to the window, opens it up.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
Nobody's out there that night, at that moment, he died
in it, asleep at home in LA.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
I totally believe in those. Yeah, those two those are real.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Like she the way she tells it to me, you know,
I one hundred percent believe her.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
I love it. Well, yeah, I mean that's it was
a real experience.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah. And also I think like when you're on this
planet and you have connections with people and you're and
you believe, like there's whatever it is, a burst event
or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
There's some you know, electric there's electricity in the air.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
It's like radio waves, but ghost waves. The ghost waves.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
It's people people, radio people, radio plus AM.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
On that AM frequency coming at you.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Ready for a Victorian ghost woman always Hey, they're Karen, Georgia,
Stephen and Katz. My mom and I moved into a
new apartment that was built in the late eighteen hundreds,
so it is a lot lots of history to it. Well,
after long days of moving, my mom fell asleep on
the chase.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Oh well, well the blue Bloods emails from blue Bloods,
this shase lamb.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
She woke up to fingernails scratching on the arm of
the chair. She woke up and saw a woman in
white looking at her. The woman then slowly walked down
the hallway and disappeared.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
For as long as we live there, I.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Felt strange about that house, as if somebody was always watching.
The lady never bothered us or was seen again. However,
the people who lived there after a have told stories
that there was a ghost that would not leave them alone.
I found out this story years later, and that creepy
feeling now makes sense, Thanks for the awesome podcast, Stay Sexy,
Don't get murdered, Britney.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
What have momer to move into a place and just
be like you can I yell at your neighbors for
having fucking, you know, whatever TV show they're watching on
too loud?

Speaker 1 (35:19):
The Americans like can you please turn that lower? Please?
Or like fucking' what is it? Lord of the what's
the one?

Speaker 3 (35:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:26):
The Lord of the Ring? Yeah, yeah, turn that lower.
But it's like, stop haunting me. You can't do that.
I know.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
In all those like ghost haunting stories that I love
that are on TV, it's the people move into a
house that they just like spent all their money right,
and then they're stuck in the haunt this house where
crazy shit's happening. But they're all like, no, we have
to be in denial because we don't have the money
to leave.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Do you remember that A couple of years ago, there
was that story about a family who moved into some house.
It might have been upstate New York or something. I
don't fucking know the details, and they started eating letters
from someone threatening them, threatening their children by name, and
saying specifically things about their children and their family that
they did.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
Like their routine.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
They knew everything about them, and they were sending them
these threatening letters like move the fuck our I will
kill you all, and they.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Moved the fuck out.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
They didn't find out who was no, I mean maybe
they have at this point, someone let us know, but like.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Oh my god, it was I was just like, I'd
rather a ghost.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yes, it was just some creepyzoid who like probably grew
up there or whatever, lived in the walls, or just
some fucking neighbor who was like, god, they listened to
the Americans so loud.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
That's that weird thing of like, is some crazy person
that lives near you and there's the slightest you know,
they're like, we brought you a pie and you're like,
I'm sorry, I don't eat pie, and then the letter
writing campaign starts.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Luckily, the murderina who lives two doors down.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Is really fucking cool and she has the cutest dog
I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Oh good, thank you, thank god.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
That's very lucky because if she had just been cool,
had been fine, but one thing, but the dog is kid,
So that's cool.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Ready for a sappy ghost story, Karen.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Yes, because this is called Hey, y'all, how about a
sappy ghost story.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
I was born into a family of funeral.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
Directors who operates three funeral homes in rural Tennessee. Fuck yes,
so death has always been part of my life. We
had at least three Christmases and my eighth birthday party
at the funeral home because they were too busy to leave.
My dad and brother have talked about times they fell
to spare with them or was in the funeral home,

(37:30):
but I never experienced it myself until two thousand and seven.
In early two thousand and seven, my grandpa and my
Yorky dog passed away. Oh that August, I moved to
Knoxville for college and was having a rough time emotionally
losing my grandpa and dog, moving away, starting college clusterfuck
of emotions. My then boyfriend, let's call him Jack, lived
in an off campus apartment and his sister lived nearby

(37:51):
with her little dog Peyton. One day, I was napping
in Jack's room while he was in the shower. I
was so tired and in that half sleep, half awake
state on my left side with my back to the door,
and I felt a little dog jump on the bed.
I figured his sister had stopped by with Peyton. The
dog walked around on the bed, put its paws on
my right side just for a bit, then laid down at.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
The foot of the bed.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
Seconds later I felt someone sit down on the other
side of the bed, figuring it was Jack out of
a shower. I didn't even bother opening my eyes or
rolling over. He patted my right shoulder twice, just gave
it just a slight squeeze, and then the weight of
him and the dog on the bed was gone. A
few minutes later, Jack came in and woke me up.
I asked him why his sister had left Peyton here,

(38:33):
and he said no one had been in the apartment
and the dog wasn't there. I didn't believe him, so
I got up and went to the living room. No
dog and the inside dead bolt chain lock was still locked. Uh,
so no one had been in the apartment. Walking back
to the bedroom, I smelled juicy fruit gum. Jack didn't
shoot that gum, and neither did I, but my grandpa had.

(38:54):
He had kept an open pack and his overall so
you always smelled it when he was around. After realife,
I immediately started sobbing. I knew it had to have
been my grandpa with my dog letting me know they
were okay, and I would be too. Thanks so much
for this amazing podcast and I can't wait to see
all on Nashville SSDGM Megan.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
Oh my god, I we're also fragile.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
Do you ever get when we're away in hotels and
stuff and you're like falling asleep at night, do you
feel your dog jump on the bed. I feel my
cats jump on the bed all the fuck do you?
That's hilarious. It's just like the phantom phantom buzz and
you're like.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Phone ring, yeah, yeah, I don't get that, but I
miss it because Frank, my dog Frank. The second I
get home and like lay down to watch hev or
like whatever, he comes up and either slides all the
way up and lays in front of me or goes
into the bend of my legs and lays there. He's

(39:54):
like has to be directly pressed up against me. Baby,
it's the cutest. And George goes into a little weird
circle like far away and then goes and she's all mad.
She's mad that I left, She's mad I came back.
She's just always mad.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
At me.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Okay, she's just glad that you're here. So this is
from a Reddit thread. I found out about this because
a Reddit thread got posted on Twitter, and so a
bunch of murdering knows let us know that this person
was writing in and they were trying to get heard.

(40:33):
But of course our Gmail is chalk full, and no
one had read this email. So we got the heads
up and we went in and found it. And actually
I began to email with this person and had a
good conversation with them, and so they sent this email.
And before I get started, I just want to give
a trigger warning. This is a very intense letter, so people,

(40:58):
if you're sensitive to sexual assault stories, you're not going
to want.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
To listen to this.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
A few months ago, a coworker turned me towards the
MFM podcast because a story was told about me. Spoiler alert,
I wasn't murdered. For reference, it was episode ninety two
in October of twenty seventeen. I actually wrote to you
once before and indicated that I didn't want anything more published,
that I just wanted to set the record straight. But
I've had a few months to sit on this and

(41:25):
some time to bounce it off. My therapist, and I've
decided that I do want to tell my story. It
was so crazy to hear my worst nightmare told on
a podcast. It felt like a violation. So much of
this has felt like something that happened to me, and
I want to control this part of the narrative. I
want my real story told by me with my consent.

(41:45):
On January eighth, twenty seventeen, I was working as a
medical legal death investigator and forensic autopsy tech. I was
working as swing shift alone. The building we were in
at the time was old and decrepit. The building was
not connected to any hospital, though it did house the
County Morgue. The upstairs part of the building was primarily offices,

(42:06):
and the basement was the autopsy suite and body cooler.
That night, the region was experiencing widespread flooding due to
rain melting the snowpack. Law enforcement resources were stretched thin,
and the old building was leaking and threatening to flood.
The county had made press releases that county facilities would
be closed the next day. In addition to scene investigations,

(42:28):
part of my duties were to process cases for autopsy
the next morning. Traditionally, I would do all of my
writing and follow up from my cubicle upstairs and save
the hands on processing until the very end of my shift.
I would rather process three bodies in a row, all
at once, versus go downstairs three times during my shift.
Even after years of working with the deceased, the downstairs

(42:50):
creeped me out. While I was upstairs writing a report,
my computer keyboard malfunctioned. I spent some time fiddling with it,
but ultimately decided to go downstairs to an abandon office
turned storage room to get a replacement. Normally I wouldn't
have gone downstairs for another forty five minutes or so,
but I couldn't finish my report without a keyboard. I
was in the office storage room with my back to

(43:12):
the door. When I turned around, there was a man
leaning on the doorframe. He was wearing a scary clown mask.
He was calm and cocky, and he told me you're early.
He knew my routine. I was kind of frozen for
a second. He rushed toward me, and I swung the
keyboard at him like a baseball bat. To this day,
I can see some of the keys flying off in

(43:33):
slow motion. He pushed me against a bookcase hard. My
vision went white. I think my bell got rung pretty good,
because there's a couple seconds I can't account for. He
had my right hand pinned up near my head. He
grabbed at my skirt and ripped it. I thought he
was trying to pull off my lanyard that had a
key card and physical keys to the building. I tried

(43:54):
to hit him, but I couldn't get any leverage. He
was so close to me. Nothing I did got any
response until I tried to pull the mask off. That's
when he pulled the knife. He rubbed the knife over
my face. He cut my cheek and showed me my
blood on the blade. He called me a whore. He
told me to undress, and when I refused, he put
the knife under my collarbone, right at the subclavian artery

(44:17):
and told me he would paint the walls red.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
He raped me.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
When I yelled and begged him to stop, he laughed
and asked who was supposed to hear me scream. He
stopped and told me to get on my knees. For
the first time, he didn't have the knife to my
chest or throat. I didn't think about it. I grabbed
the knife by the blade and ran running up the stairs.
I kept feeling something weird on the handrail. It turns

(44:42):
out it wasn't the handrail that was weird, it was
my hand I started to run outside, but realized I
didn't know where he was. Our old building was like
a maze. I started to go to my desk, but
stopped and hid under another investigator's desk. I couldn't find
my cell phone, and I called nine to one one
from the desk phone. It took a couple of tries,
having to remember to dial nine to nine before dialing out.

(45:06):
I vividly remember hiding under the desk, trying to whisper
to the dispatcher, and watching the blood run down my
fingers and pool on the ground. Our building was supposed
to be secure, and the responding police officers had no
way to gain entry. I had to leave the desk
and walk through two doors and a hallway to let
them in. The whole time I was expecting him to
pop out, but he didn't. It took law enforcement a

(45:29):
while to clear the building. They didn't have keys, were
unfamiliar with the maze like layout, and had to search
every body bag The man in the clown mask wasn't found.
I was released from the er several hours later. My
supervisor drove me home, but we first had to go
back to the building to collect my wallet and keys.
It was dream like seeing the red and blue lights

(45:50):
illuminate the area. Officers and deputies patrolling in pairs in
the pouring rain reminded me of a scene from a movie.
After the scene was processed, my coworkers claned my blood
from the office stairs, desk doors, and wall. An email
went out to the majority of the staff telling them
not to report until eight hundred hours. When my coworkers,

(46:11):
who are also my partners and best friends, went downstairs
to prepare everything for autopsy, they found evidence that he
had been waiting for me in the autopsy suite. Arranged
on the back of an evidence cart next to an
exam table were long strips of red duct tape, two
long pieces, two shorter pieces. The red duct tape was
dog eared, which is never done with evidence. As it

(46:34):
was described to me, they were ready for someone at
the floor level to be able to easily grab ready
to go. If I had been going down to process
bodies in my usual routine, I would walk backwards pulling
ajourney to that exact spot. No arrest has ever been made.
The only DNA that was recovered from my clothing wound
up belonging to my infant son, from where I had

(46:57):
held him before going to work. The investigation my case
was transferred from one jurisdiction to another, as the attack
happened in a county building. This resulted in twice as
many law enforcement officers being involved in various ways. The
detectives investigating my case forgot to flag it as confidential,
resulting in an unknown number of deputies reading details of

(47:18):
my case. One deputy shared details of my case on
a hook up app, one high ranking officer. One high
ranking officer shared the details with their family. And that
is how it came to you in the first place.
That night turned my world upside down. I moved changed cars,
my kids changed schools, and I ultimately resigned. The new

(47:39):
facility that we moved into a month later is state
of the art with cameras, alarms, and ballistics glass. But
I was never again comfortable being alone in the Morgan night.
I will always have to live with the knowledge that
someone very smart, collected and comfortable in a morgue is
still out there. We know that he had been in
the building at least twice before and once after. I

(48:01):
don't know what exactly he had planned, but I'm thankful
for a random faulty keyboard space bar. I'm okay. It
took a while of not being okay to be where
I am now. I wanted to write to you because
I think sometimes the person part of your stories gets overlooked.
I found and reached out to the person who initially
shared my story, but I think I freaked them out.

(48:24):
Perhaps they were concerned that I was the perpetrator.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Oops.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
If you have any questions about details or you need clarification,
I'm happy to unscramble this. Thank you for your time.
So wow, So we told a story that was third
hand and not the person's story to tell. I don't
think that the person who wrote in had malicious intent,

(48:51):
but I think this is a very good lesson for
all of us when we think about what we're doing
and how we're talking and who we're talking about. So
our apologies to you who had to hear her story
on a podcast. That's the last thing that we want
to happen, and that's you know, that's just that's not

(49:13):
what we're trying to do, and it's not what it's about,
and we should have thought it through. And we're going
to try our best to keep aware of this and
to keep you in mind so that we avoid mistakes
like this in the future. And so George and I
have decided that we're going to donate ten thousand dollars

(49:34):
to the Rape Abuse and Incest National networked RAIN. And
we thank you for your understanding and for writing in
and communicating with me and letting us retell your story
the way you wanted it told.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
This is called Stabbed by a Ghost by Lacey whoa
Dear Karen, George, Stephen and respective pets. I'm a long
time listener, first time caller, as all of my hometown
urders have been covered by you already. But I saw
Steven schproble off summer fucked up. But I saw Steven
was looking for some spooky uky kooky. Oh honey, Halloween.

(50:10):
This chicks a mom experiences for a Minisovna had to
throw my hat in the ring.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
Oh I'm sweetie.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
I was taking a siddy coke when she spends smooky
uki kooky that almost came.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Out my nose I saw.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Oh, but then she goes on to say, and it
makes better. This summer, I was stabbed by a fucking ghost.
Why how ridiculous that sounds, but hear me out. I
worked for my family's bed and Breakfast this summer. My
family had been divided on whether the house is haunted
or not, and until I started working there, I was
firmly in the not haunted camp. I had stayed there
as a guest from time to time, but I had
never spent more than a few days in the house.

(50:43):
Once I started working there, I experienced little things that
I would chalk up to natural phenomena, like my bedroom
door swinging open or shut all or all, the window
blinds flying up midpiss.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
That's terrifying. Can you imagine you're just and that's and
you have to finish pin? Yeah, yeah, that's horrifing. That's
a funny ghost though.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Yeah, that's kind of good something something medphays Okay.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
Being a skeptic, I totally.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
Wrote all of this off until I was the only
one on duty one night, which you can't write it
off because they're going to be like, oh, yeah, well,
let me really show you.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
I was working on preparing some banana bread and a
savory bread pudding for the next morning's breakfast.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
I placed the bread in the oven, assembled the pudding
to soak over night, and had thoroughly cleaned the kitchen.
I went to the back launder room to work on
turning a few loads of laundry while the bread baked
in the oven. About thirty minutes into baking, I went
to the kitchen to check on the bread. I went
to slip my hands into the oven mit and was
promptly greeted by a fucking paring knife, stabbing me in
between my ring finger and middle finger.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
WHOA.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
I removed the knife and found the first aid kit.
I went to go curse out my mother for leaving
a knife in the oven mit when my blood ran cold,
and I remembered that I was the only one in
the house. Being a skeptic I used to be. I
tried to find rational explanation for why a pairing knife
would be blade up inside an oven mint, and then
it says, hint, there's no rational explanation. It was not

(52:10):
a knife I had used in the breakfast prep there,
and it was usually kept in a drawer along with
the other pairing knives. I racked my brain for hours,
trying to wonder if I had truly put the knife
in the mint in some sort of oh remember why
this is here later scenario. But then I finally came
to the conclusion that the ghost was real and probably
madame were for me for taking for talking shit about

(52:31):
him all summer. I apologized out loud to the ghost
and went to the doctor when someone else came home.
Now I've just got a fun little scar to remind
me of why ghosts are reel and you shouldn't call
them imaginary sobs lots of love, Lacey.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Mean Oh, then she said, I withheld the.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
Name of the BnB because I didn't want you to
say it on air, but if you're curious, I will
write back. Would love to have you guys come visit.
It's got lots of ghost and antique furniture. Oh wow,
we're there. That's everything I need.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, because I was thinking, I was thinking, oh, well,
if you keep obviously, if you keep your oven mit
in the same drawer as those knives, right, But yeah,
she wouldn't be scared if that were the truth.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
She'd be like she would have already checked.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
And also you would feel it, right, Yeah, she just
used the oven mish.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
They were out. It sounds like, Man, I'm gonna fucking
ghost cuts you move.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Leave.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
It's so crazy when ghosts can move shit around, which
is why I don't think it's real.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
I mean, look, listen, do you think Okay, go ahead?

Speaker 3 (53:32):
Well, like I think ghosts don't haunt me because I'm like,
oh cool, I'd be like great, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
I wonder, I wonder if it is locational, situational, or
like about the people.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
I just don't think it's what we think it is
enough that any of that would be true or matter. Yeah, Like,
I just don't think it's like old a person who's
dead being like I'm gonna like this girl freak out
when she's ping, you know what I mean, I'm going
to stabber in between her fingers, right.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
But then I think that's also having been a person
who has a ghost story, the frustration.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Where you're like, well, I this is the thing that happened.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Maybe in and of itself, it isn't insane or like
you can't explain it, but that's not the explanation.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
And I'm telling you because I was there and.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
It doesn't make you feel any better about you experiencing
that thing.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah, someone being like, yeah, well that didn't happen.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
You know, like people anytime I tell my ghost they're like,
you had sleep paralysis. It's like, no, because I've had
sleep paralysis, and I know the difference.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
I know without feeling. Why do they need to do that?
Oh I guess I do that too.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
They want to solve it. Yeah, it's like they want
other experiences I've actually had. I've been like, well, I
had an active imagination or whatever the fuck we Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
I just feel like that was fun, right, or just
it's uncomfortable to leave it with any things possible in
this weird world. Yeah, is there a man in the
crawl space or is it just a ghost? Hi, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, Elvis,
Me and Me, Dottie Franken, George, I will be at
your Fort Lauderdale show on the fifth, November fifth. I

(55:09):
cannot wait to see you guys. So my ghost story
haunting comes from my hometown of Hamilton, New Jersey. Yes,
that's the same place of the Megan Conker murder. A
side note, I hope it pronounced her last name right side.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Note.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
I went to the same elementary schools her a few
years after this happened, So Sam. The elementary school was
very big on stranger danger lessons that they tore that
assholes to house down and made it into a park
called Megan's Place so the family didn't have to keep
being reminded with that house, and our school used to
take us there once a year to remind us of

(55:43):
the true dangers of going with people we don't know.

Speaker 3 (55:46):
And that's the Megan's Law murder where Meghan's Law came
into play.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Yeah started anyway, Yeah, anyway.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
I was about ten years old when my dad finally
moved is out of an apartment and into a house.
The family that lived there before us was an older
couple who built the house. When the wife died of
old age parentheses. Might I add she died in the house.
Oh good, he decided it was time to sell the
house and go into a home. I remember the first
time I walked into this house and the weird feeling

(56:14):
I got.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
I chalked it up to all.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
The old people's furniture being in the house and the
wife's sewing room being untouched. Since she had died. Her
sewing room became my bedroom once we moved in. No
weird things started happening as soon as we moved, such
as things being misplaced that no one could remember moving,
weird noises that my dad would explain by saying, the
house is settling and you're just freaking yourself out.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
The house is just screaming, and you're just freaking out.
Why don't you like screaming. You're a child.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
The house is screaming in pain. It's perfectly normal, and
you wouldn't know. We've always lived in apartments.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
You don't understand that houses have feelings like people and
skin hold me pain, but sell a feeling. Okay, So
fast forward a year later, my first night all alone
in the house. Oh.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
I was using the com in my dad's.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Room, chatting with friends on aim oh yay, when I
heard footsteps walk by the doorway right under the staircase.
I ignored it as I thought it was the quote
house settling and kept chatting away. Shortly after the first
pair of footsteps, I heard multiple pairs of footsteps running,
paired with giggling. Now giggling please home alone, giggling being

(57:22):
the idiot child I was.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
I decided it was okay for me to go investigate.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
As soon as my feet hit the floor, all sounds stopped.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Oh that's cream.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
I feared it was my imagination and went back upstairs
to carry the on, iming my friends. Once I got upstairs,
the footsteps and the giggling started again.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
This time I figured it was my dad playing a
prank on me, since he did this often. I ran
back downstairs, yelling, this isn't funny. I looked out the
window and when I saw his truck wasn't there.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
That's when I really started to panic. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
I grabbed the landline and ran into my bedroom and
locked the door. That's when I heard heavy footsteps banging
up the basement steps and the sound of someone banging
on the basement door. No, my dad kept it locked
since he was convinced someone was going to break in
through the basement.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
Yeah, they are.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
I climbed under my bed and started calling my sisters
for them to come get me.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
As soon as there was a.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Break in the banging, I bolted out of my house
and down the street. About five minutes later, my sister's
boyfriend picked me up and he had me wait in
the cars. He checked the house to make sure no
one was in there.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
No one was. He decided to take me home with
him until my dad was able to come and get me.
I don't like that either.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Since that day, my dad made a joke about having
a man living in the crawl space in his room anything.
Anytime anything weird happens, the man in the crawl space
is at fault for it, like when my dad eats
all the ice cream sandwiches and.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Doesn't remember doing it.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Thank you for reading my haunting slash ghost story, Allison.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Oh that was That's so so scary. Giggling. Yeah, nobody
wants giggling.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
You don't like You don't think about it until like
being by yourself and hearing giggling. Did I tell you
that time that I was by myself in my house?
This was before I got George, so I didn't have dogs,
and I was sitting there trying to I was trying
to finish some writing and so it was dead silent
in the house and had been for like an hour's stay.
And I heard directly next to my ear a zipper

(59:22):
zipped up.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
What And I fucking oh no, sorry.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
I had gotten George because I grabbed her leash and
was like, come.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
With me, and we just walked out the door.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
I went to the dog park and then I called
my friend Rob because I was just like, this is
You're the only person I can tell this to you.
It sounds so weird, but I just zipper heard something.
It was just it wasn't in the distance. It was
like someone zip their coat next to me.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
That's so creepy. And it was very clear.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
It wasn't like, oh this it sounded like a zipper.
It was a zipper zipping, like one of the plastic
zippers on a seventies ski jacket.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
Like that really like a Serial Killers.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Where like Ed Kemper, Oh my god, you know fucking
Ted Bundy has some sweet ass fucking seventies jacket.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
He probably on his seventies ski jacket. Left the ski lift, hag.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
That was what to do because you're like, yeah, I
went skiing over the winter break.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah, I was up at Snowbird.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
How much money would one of those tags it says
Ted Bundy's name on.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
It go for?

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Oh, I would say in the five hundred thousand dollars
in this day and age. These people who love serial killers, suies, weirdos,
Oh my god, these.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
People who love what kind of monsters? Okay, let's see. Okay, Yeah,
there's something about being hume alone and I don't know
how you do it, Like I don't like having a
house where there's multiple rooms, Like I have to turn
all the lights on when I'm alone.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Yeah, I swear the dogs solve everything because I hear everything.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
George hears everything. Yeah, she knows.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
She knows when people are walking up, like up the
street from half a block way and starts barking. So
that's like, if anything, it's just like a nice warning call.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Fucking safe, any zipper people come in, George is gone, Yeah,
going to regulate.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
She didn't on that one though. She was all like what,
I'm supposed to be scared of this? You do this
all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
Okay, Okay, here we go. Grandpa's haunting me and that's okay. Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen,
Kats and Dogs. I've been listening to MFM for a
while now. It's brought a change to my life I
could have never expected. Thanks for helping my socially awkward
self make new friends and gain some confidence in myself. Okay,

(01:01:39):
that's what we're talking about, Brittany. Hell yeah, okay, all right.
When I was three years old, my grandpa died. He'd
been in an accident at work and lived in a
vegetative state for quite some time. When I was born,
that's where he was.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Oh God, that family, that's tough.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
It was an incredibly tough time for my family, but
most of us made it out.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
A couple of years later, I was at my grandma's house,
a split level with the wreck room downstairs and the
kitchen right above it. While my grandma was in the kitchen,
she could hear me carrying on a conversation through the events.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
I love this, I know.

Speaker 3 (01:02:09):
When I came up for a snack, she asked me
what I was doing down there talking to the man.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
I replied, my grandma asked me to describe what you
look like.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
But may have regretted that decision as I described my
deceased grandfather to a tea. I of course thought nothing
of it and went about my child business with your
child briefcase, Yes, I am no memory of this, but
I also don't have memories from before first grade. Fair enough,
A few things happened as I was growing up, but
nothing too notable. A couple of things moved or fell,

(01:02:40):
but it wasn't anything I was afraid of.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Fast forward to having my first living boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
He would wake up with scratches every now and then
and made me nervous. I remember my aunt having a
picture of her and her prom date on her dresser,
and his face was scratched out on the glass and
on the picture.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Whoa, it was weird.

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
One morning, I remember waking up to just one of
my hanging plants swaying, but not the other.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
Oh, I hate that. That's the worst. Oh, don't worry
about it. That's just a wind in here. Oh shit,
it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
There was an air circulation there, as the window was
closed and the heater was off, so it didn't make
any sense. So I decided to try to make some contact.
I grabbed a voice recorder and started asking questions. Okay, wait,
here we go. Though these these questions. I. Through these questions,
I learned it was my grandpa and he didn't like
my boyfriend. He was right, we aren't together anymore, and
that was it. Those were the only two questions that

(01:03:35):
were answered. Holy shit, I felt less scared afterwards, and
I didn't have anything of note, and I didn't have
anything of note to happen after that. I do remember
the night I went into labor with my child. I
felt an overwhelming sense of love and protection. I hadn't
even gone into labor, but I felt like he was
there and he knew. A couple of small things have

(01:03:58):
happened since then, but they're not as exciting. But that's
my ghost story, and I'm happy I was able to
share with everyone. Thank you for all you do, and
you don't have to fuck politeness if the ghost is
your grandpa who really just wants to love SSDG.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
I'm Brittany. Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
I love how he like physically scratched up her boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
Yeah, and the ants photo. It's almost like I can't
really tell you anything. I can't. If I tell you
I don't like your.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Boyfriend, You're just gonna love him more, because that's how
it always works, right. But instead, I'm going to like
horror movie creep you out about your boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
I'm gonna make the boyfriend break up with you, yes,
by scaring the ever loving shit.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
Out of him. It's so good.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Great, Okay, give me a sign, Grandpa and just scratches
up the face of it's.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Just like crazy white eyes.

Speaker 3 (01:04:43):
Yeah, child, he's like, I don't like your dog just
scratches up your grandpa.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
You don't get to chase my life, Grandpa. You have
all that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
You're so finicky Okay, ghost, unscary human in silver Lake
Cafe Theater, your team hard kill and pressure, sweet kind
gentle Steven.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Is that why this is ridiculous? Stephen? I want to
first let Karen.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Know that I am from Sacramento and I love every
time she shits on Sacramento because it truly is the
armpit of California and Bakersfield is the butthole.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
Come on, everybody. There was someone that just wrote on Twitter.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
They wrote something like, why won't you come to Sacramento.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
It's like, I have explicitly.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Stated how I feel about what's going to Orange County,
and despite me having fucking panic attacks, there was an
act of God.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
Yeah. And then and then having that amazing show, the
best show. Anaheim show was incredible. Oh it's so fun. Okay,
go anyhow, Yes, so we're not going to Sacramento anyways.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Anyway, but see, absolutely shit, I know we should play
the fair grounds, dude, like the state there. Yeah, or
we could do a live show in the how about
Arden shopping center and just like clear.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Some park cars. I don't know what that is. I
want to do a stay of hair.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
I want to I want to be between the pie
eating contest and my favorite murder live and then like
the pig eating content.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
No, I don't know, is there a there's definitely a
pig eating contest.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
It's like, if you can eat a live pig, you've
been a ribbon, right.

Speaker 3 (01:06:22):
Yeah, you're a waiting pig when you're waiting pig. If
you can eat your waiting pig. And then it's like,
well I don't really want that anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
Oh wait, this is my favorite thing. Georgia texted me
at like four in the morning.

Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
You up because you texted me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
I woke up at four, of course, and I looked
at my phone and you just texted the coffee was
a mistake, yes, at like midnight. And then I was like,
you know, last time I told you I was up
all night. You were like, text me, I'm up. Yes,
the text you at four?

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
Yeah? Am I think I woke up like a half
an hour later, and it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
Was so exciting because I just am there's you're never
lonelier than when you're up in the middle of the
night by yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
And it was like I had a message waiting where
you're like, hey, you up, what's going on?

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
But the Pig thing, I said, I'm just laying here
listening to the Pig People. Yes, book, which everyone needs
to fucking download immediately because I fall asleep to it
at night, even though it's like the best book ever.
What's the title. It's called No Stone Unturned. It's about
necro search. I think I talked about it way in
the beginning of the podcast, but it's necro search. Who
is that really awesome organization that finds clandestine graves. There's

(01:07:27):
all these different kinds of people in it who are
sciencey and otherwise, and they're called the experts, and they're
called the pig people because they started burying pigs to
see how decomposition worked and how it made graves look,
and how you could see how long a body was
buried based on the foliage and based on the bugs
and decomposition.

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
So I listened to that to fall asleep, and I'm like,
why isn't this working. It's so crazy relaxing. I'm dreaming
of pigs. No Stone on drug listened to it. It's
Beth Okay, sorry, no, no, no, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
SoC Sacramenta plenty of shitting on Sacramento then.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
Anyways, this is my guest story.

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
The day after I graduated from college, I moved from
Northern California straight to Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
Scary enough in and of itself.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
My boyfriend and I literally walked the graduation stage and
a few hours later jumped into our view haul truck
for the six hour drive.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
I love that, I love it. I did that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:27):
It took about a couple of days after I graduated,
and my mom and I were like, goodbye Orange County.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Yeah forever.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
There's nothing I love more than if something ended. You
just fucked car and go. There's no reason, no hang out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
And like visit and it's just kind of like and
on to the next one. Yeah, life's short, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
I was starry eyed as I exited on Vine Street
and thought how amazing the city looked. It does from
that weird little hill, I found a job quickly as
a barista in a small theater cafe in.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
Hipster Silver Lake. I thought it was a very cool gig.

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
The customers were semi famous comedians and people I recognized
on TV.

Speaker 1 (01:09:07):
I mean, there's nothing better.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
The cafe also hosted fun, improv and comedy shows in
their small black box theater.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
The lyric it's the lyric. Oh okay, I'm like hell
bent on guessing what place this is. Yes, it's the
lyric Kurt brown Aller, our friend used to go in
there all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:09:23):
The lyric Hyperion.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
Yes, yes, it's okay, sorry, okay, perfect, we figured it out.

Speaker 3 (01:09:29):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
The afternoons and night shows were fun and lively.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
However, I felt a sense of dread as all the
customers and audience members left one by one, and an
aura of evil lurked in the cafe at night.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
That place is fucking absolutely haunted. Really, I know it.
I've been in there. I've been in the thought in
the back room.

Speaker 3 (01:09:45):
It's terrifying. Well she's gonna Why do I even talking
during this? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
You're fine, Addie weird sh No, you're fine, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
Naively, I accepted.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
To close the cafe by myself every night, naively, And
that's one word for it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
That meant a five foot ninety pound female with.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
Severe anxiety had to close the cafe eleven there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
Oh, honey, don't do it. You're like, I need this job,
you know. She said yes too, because then she's like,
I don't have to talk to anyone.

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
Yes, well, I close, I'll just sweep, it'll be alone.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Well.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
I was responsible for cleaning and locking up the cafe
and theater, which would take about forty five minutes. The
cafe was extremely quiet as I mopped the floors, and
suddenly I heard a roar of happy cheers, whistles, and
laughter that lasted approximately three seconds coming from the audience
at the theater room. Huh. I dropped them mop and
peeked into the control room upstairs to see if there

(01:10:43):
was still a show going on. I looked out of
the window from the booth and saw a dim red
light emitting from the back from the small black box
theater and a lone chair in the middle of the stage. No.
I felt like a sinister being was watching up at
me wait from down on the stage, and I quickly
locked up without cleaning the rest of the cafe.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
A few days.

Speaker 2 (01:11:06):
Later, my coworker, who had the morning shift, texted me
and confronted me that I should put the pepper shakers
away properly and I shouldn't put them on the floor again.
Then he sent me a picture of the three pepper
shakers lined up neatly on the floor in the middle
of the cafe.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
That was impossible since I would never have moved those
items on the floor. This is weird. I thought he
was pranking me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
One time, I had to cover the same coworker's morning shift,
even though I was scheduled to close that previous night.

Speaker 1 (01:11:37):
As I was closing for the night, I made sure.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
The salt and pepper shakers were in the same exact
spot on the kitchen table.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
The next day, I opened the.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Cafe at six am, and the pepper shakers were moved
neatly aligned on the floor again in the front of
the cafe, even though I had made sure to place
them properly that I before.

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
It freaked me out so much that I just sat on.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
The outside patio waiting for the waiting for the morning
rush customers come in. Last and scariest event that led
me to quitting the job happened when I was closing
the cafe again. I had taken the trash out by
using the back entrance, but had not locked up the
locked up the door since it was one of the

(01:12:19):
last things to do when closing. I continued to clean
and count the till when I looked up and saw
a skinny and tall, homeless man press his face into
the glass of the entrance door. His eyes were round
and dark, and his squished face on the glass had
this obtuse and evil smile. He then darted away. As

(01:12:40):
I remembered I didn't lock the back door. I quickly
rushed to close the back gate and saw a tall,
dark figure rushing towards me through the gate screen.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
I then slammed the door and locked it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
Because of the front of the cafe had these huge
glass panes as walls, I turned off all the lights
in the cafe so that he could not see me,
and quickly hit in the corner of the store. This
was already scary enough, as I knew ghosts were probably
haunting the theater too. No.

Speaker 1 (01:13:07):
I called my.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
Boyfriend to come pick me up a thirty minute drive
and I quit the job. Holy shit, lock, It's been
three years since I moved and I have a better job.
I now have a higher standards when finding jobs in
Los Angeles. One make sure it has a parking lot,
and two have coworkers close with you.

Speaker 1 (01:13:26):
Oh my god, you're tiny Murderino, Tracy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:29):
Oh my god, I am going into lyric Hyperian tomorrow
and asking for ghost stories.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Yees immediately. Oh my god, that's so scary. It's so scary.
And that idea that you have to race the guy
to the back door is fucked.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
Remember when you were twenty and you thought you were
fucking invincible and like you could close late at night
alone and leave the door open and everything would be fine.

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
Well, you're just kind of like, uh, this is fine, yeah,
living my life. Yeah, Oh my god, Tracy, that was
a really good story. That was great. I think maybe
we should end on that one.

Speaker 2 (01:14:01):
Yeah, Stephen, these were awesome jobs, Steven. Those were really fun. Yeah,
they were so fun to read. Oh my god, I
love getting scared.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
I have like a like a side podcast of this.
We could just keep doing our hometowns Is this for
a little while? I know?

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
Well yeah, yeah, yes, yes, for sure. I love that. Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
Here's what we're gonna say, Send in your hometowns, look
and listen. Sending your hometowns.

Speaker 1 (01:14:28):
If you have spooky scary stuff like that, we want
to hear it. Okay, I feel like not even just
spooky scary, but.

Speaker 3 (01:14:34):
Like thrilling, weird shit, Yes, you know what I mean,
Like racing a guy to the door is great, that's great.
I mean near missus come on great.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
And also the thing of like and then after that
she knew, like, yeah, you have to you can't just
let somebody schedule you because they're cheap at the place
and they only want to pay one person. Yeah, like no, dude,
it's two people, or like I can't close at night.

Speaker 1 (01:14:57):
The salt and pepper shaker thing is the scariest thing
to That's.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Nuts because like if he hadn't send anything to her
about it, she wouldn't have known what was going on.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
That's so scary.

Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
It shit's like in a weird position and moved and
like not supposed to be where it is, and it's
just like inconspicuously placed.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
That's fucking terrifying. It's so scary. That was thrilling and
scary and exciting. Yeah, Happy Halloween, everybody safe, insane?

Speaker 3 (01:15:23):
Tin know, Vince and I are going to be Simon
and Garth Uncle well, you told me that, but then
I thought you had a different one. No, we're going
to be Simon and Garth. I love that from that
seventies one.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
It's so good. Yeah, thanks for thanks guys. We you
guys are the best. You guys. Yes, so fun.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
And thank you for everybody who sent those scary stories in.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
And I mean there's a lot of writing taking place,
you guys. Really you laid it all out for us.
Thank you so much. Thank you, and.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
Stay sexy, don't get murdered. Bye, you want a cookie?

Speaker 2 (01:15:57):
Elvis, Elvis, honey, Oh, there hasn't been any cats in
him twenty five years.