August 12, 2024 • 56 mins
In this exciting episode of “Covering Your Health,” host Evelyn Erives sits down with the dynamic duo, Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. Join us for a wide-ranging discussion that spans from the joys and challenges of parenting to the secrets of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Boris and Nicole share their personal experiences and insights on balancing family life with their demanding careers, the importance of wellness, and how they stay connected as a couple. Whether you’re looking for parenting tips, health advice, or just some inspiration from two incredible individuals, this episode has something for everyone.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
Boris and Nicole share their personal experiences and insights on balancing family life with their demanding careers, the importance of wellness, and how they stay connected as a couple. Whether you’re looking for parenting tips, health advice, or just some inspiration from two incredible individuals, this episode has something for everyone.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, here we are. We are back.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to Covering Your Health with Evely and e Revez,
presented by I EhP. This show is going to be special.
I know you were going to get as much out
of it as I did.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I could pinch myself Right now.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We have Hollywood Howard House couple Boris Kojo and Nicole
Ari Parker on the podcast today.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Due this is so exciting.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I'm a huge fan of both of them. This is
just amazing. So Boris just completed the seventh season, the
final season of ABC's show Station nineteen, and Nicole is
currently filming the third season of one of my favorite
shows too, Max's hit show and just like that in
New York. Of course, it's the spinoff from Sex and
(00:46):
the City. Boris and Nicole have partnered with I EhP
previously to raise awareness about health disparities that impact the
African American community, and today we are going.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
To check in with the couple.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hear how they've navigated their own health journeys and just
really how they balance their physical and mental health, what
tips they have for fellow parents. We're going to talk
about their kids and how they keep them healthy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh, I just know you're going to love today's episode.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Welcome to Covering your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:41):
podcast is presented by I E.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
HP.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, without further ado, welcome, Boris and Nicole.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Hello, Oh my gosh. We're so excited to have you.
This is this is crazy.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
First.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Obviously you are in two different locations. Can we talk
a little bit about that. How you're juggling this right now?
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (02:07):
Well, we're kind of used to, you said, you know,
Nicole's shooting her show in New York. I shot my
show here in La. So we go, we go back
and forth. You know, we love New York, so it's
not hard for me to go over there and see
her and spend some time. And now that the kids
uh pretty much out the house, there's really nothing keeping
(02:28):
me in La except the two.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Dogs that we have so yeah, yeah, dogs, So you
guys are primarily based in La then or in New York.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
In LA, we've been in LA for a while, and
now that Nicole's shooting in New York, we spent some
equal amount of time in both places.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well, okay, so let's chat a little bit about your
schedules right now. So you're filming, Boris, Are you still
currently filming right now?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
No, we just wrapped the final season of Station nineteen
two months ago.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
So yeah, it's a little it's a little bit bittersweet.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
And on the one hand, it's great because you get to,
you know, tackle new endeavors and challenges and have fun
doing other things. On the other hand, we've established this
family for the past seven years, so I'm going to
miss those people.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh my gosh, it had a good run, it really Yeah,
that was a good show. So I'll congratulations too on that.
And then, of course, Nicole, you are busy, busy right now.
I have watched all the first two seasons as well,
and just like that. So how's it going third season
right now?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:39):
It's incredible. Yeah, I'm here, I've been here. I haven't
seen my husband in person in three weeks. Oh no,
I know. So I'm like, I'm so excited to go
home this weekend.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Oh I bet, Oh my god. Okay, we'll make this
quick then right now. I love it up.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
The fashion is still the same, the cast is just spectacular.
The writing I'm I'm just I'm just having a good time.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
That is amazing. I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I'm all in, I'm all in. I cannot wait for
the third season. So very exciting. Okay, So this is
a health and wellness podcast. You both are big, big advocates.
You have a long legacy of health advocacy through the
Kojo Family Foundation. Let's talk about it. Let's get right
into it. Tell us about your philanthropy efforts on behalf
(04:35):
of your daughter. I want to hear about that a
little bit. Sophie's spina bifida journey.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Well, when we first started the foundation, it was around
it really grew out of a necessity to not only
reach out to other families, but also kind of support ourselves.
I mean, our first baby was born with spina bifida
and search very early in her life, and had subsequently
(05:03):
had a very high maintenance lifestyle, medication and all kinds
of things, and so our parenting was turned on to
like one hundred percent about becoming very healthy, very regimented,
and so the foundation was focused around that. But around
fourteen years old, she's nineteen now, Sophie said, you know,
(05:26):
I don't I want my own voice. I don't necessarily
know if I want the foundation to be named after me,
And so we took that to heart, and now it's
still about supporting families in the health space, but also
providing scholarships in the athletic space too, because I'm married
(05:46):
to a very excited tennis player, very passionate tennis player
who really remembers I'll let him speak for himself, but
it's really about outreach and providing exposure and talent to
coaches and schools and academies and giving kids a chance.
(06:08):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And you have a very talented athlete in the family too,
write your son.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Yes, he was my little Bubba seventeen, the six to
six and he's in Finland right now and Helsinki playing
the finals for the European Championships.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh my god, how is that? How hard is that
to be separate from him?
Speaker 5 (06:31):
I know that's the hardest part. Oh yeah, it's it's
part of our life now that moves around, so we're
kind of used to it. But Borist got to see him.
I'm a little jealous.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I just got back from there and I got to
see a couple of games and they're doing really well.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
They've made the Semis now and.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
They qualified for the World Cup next year, which is exciting.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Oh my gosh, that's great. And if they win the tournament,
it's going to be the first time.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
A German youth team has won the European Championship, so
they're super. We're just proud parents who watch their kids
spread their wings and go, you know, just to be
able to witness that growth and be you know, an
audience to their journeys as they as they launch is
(07:27):
just it's surreal because, like Nicole said, he was just
a little baby with Sophie and just to see them
be these humans and training is incredible.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
People always ask about our marriage. Sorry, well it's me
and you know, how do we make it work. I
think just from the very beginning, we wanted to be parents,
like he wanted to be a dad and I wanted
to be a mom. And I think that having that
focus and then having Sophie and Nicks. It is just
(08:03):
this should accomplish.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, what kind of parents that you.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Don't if you pull us into a conversation about our kids,
like you might have to rain this in you a
hundred examples of what we're proud of right now.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, that's I got three kids. I get it, I
at it. I'm in the thick of it. My oldest
is twenty one.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I got a sixteen year old and a thirteen year old, so.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
You know, so it's like when you're it's like when
you're building something. Are you making something out of legos?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (08:34):
And then it's finished and you want everybody to see it,
like look, look, look, yes, look.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
That's a great example what I made.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, it didn't start like this. I just need to know.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
It was a whole lot of pieces on the floor.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Everything was messy, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You know, I don't, I know, I totally get it.
How SOPHI doing now? You said she's nineteen years old.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
She's nineteen, she's great.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
She's about to start her second year at Howard University
in DC, and you know, we're back to, you know,
being proud. It's like she's been through so much and
she has weathered all these storms, and she has this
tremendous amount of confidence about her, and she's self sufficient, independent,
(09:23):
she knows what she needs to do on a daily basis,
and just to have this beautiful light about her and
to be social and to be engaging and to have
all these friends and you know, it's it's just wonderful
to watch her drive on her own in the big
city and she loves it. I mean, we've traveled with
(09:46):
these kids since we're babies, all over the world, so
they used to new places, new people, and it's actually
it's actually really really excited, exciting for them to venture
out and do all these things. So, yeah, she's I'm
about to drop her a Howard two weeks. Yeah, two weeks.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh my goodness. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, congratulations because it sounds like you got the parented
think gun.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's like good, it's that's all the way down.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
People say, you never stopped, so we'll see what happens. Yeah,
so we'll see.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, that is that's amazing. Well, congratulations to you both. Okay,
so let's talk a little bit about IHP.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
You have done a lot with us to raise awareness
about health issues that are disproportionately impacting the African American community,
and how there are really three areas that IHP is
really trying to be diligent on high blood pressure, maternal
health and child well visits, which you know so many
(10:46):
of us have little a little bit, right, I want
to talk to you a little bit about each one
of those. First high blood pressure, it's something that many
many Americans struggle with. The American Heart Association actually how
delated at fifty five of African American adults have high
blood pressure. What do you both do? And a very
(11:06):
healthy people, but to keep those numbers in check? As
you get older, things change. Tell us what do you
do and how can the everyday person try to help
keep that in check as well?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well?
Speaker 6 (11:18):
I think blood pressure is a great example of a
condition that is manageable and preventable, preventable, but can lead
to chronic diseases. Right, So it's very important that we
pay attention to that off the bat. You know, there's
there's three four different simple ways how to keep your
blood pressure in check. Number one losing that extra weight, right,
(11:41):
that's very important to exercise, you know, don't smoke, limit
alcohol intake. It's about sodium, So don't eat processed foods
or cut down on the processed foods because it's full
of sodium. You know, natural foods don't really have much sodium. So, uh,
(12:02):
those are simple things that you can do in your
everyday life to to manage your blood pressure and make
sure it stays in a great at a at a
great level stress. You know, you got to reduce stress
where you can, which then leads us to you know,
mindfulness and and and mental health to manage stress means too,
(12:27):
you know, include some some some routines in your life
that help you get come down, whether it's meditation or
taking a walk, or putting on some music and sitting
in your space and not being inundated by social media
any other you know, detrimental uh, influences on your on
(12:51):
your mind. Cold showers something else that helps a lot
of people are opposed to that. But even when you
take it ailey shower at the end of the day,
crank it cold for thirty seconds. If you get to
two minutes, you're good, you straight, but start with twenty seconds.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
I never knew that.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I never knew that was that.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
Yeah, absolutely, that spikes all those different hormones serotonin, dopamine
that all reduces stress.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
So those are here, and you got and your cousins
pushed you in the freezing cold pool first, and even
though you got mad at them, you were like yeah,
but then it was like the best day ever. And
when you're twelve, you don't think about dopamine and serotonin,
but that's exactly what happened to you. Yeah, and you know,
(13:46):
and I've you know, he's brainwashed me into liking cold
water now.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
But well, liking cold water is a strong.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Right, Like I can feel the measurable impact, Like I
can feel it, like, oh im pick up today for
work and I feel like bright eyed and bushy tailed,
and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet.
It's right away.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
See, okay, I see that those.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Are easy things, right, or also blood sugar right to
try to keep that sugar intake low, especially refined sugars.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
You don't need that.
Speaker 6 (14:23):
I think sometimes people don't wake up until it has
developed into a chronic disease. And that's why I think
it's important what you're doing, Evelyn, to raise it, to
raise awareness around some of the preventive, preventative things that
we can do on a daily basis that don't cost
any extra money. It's just a matter of committing to
(14:46):
something that helps you live a fuller life, especially as
you get older. Yeah, because after fifty sixty into your seventies,
it's really all about those habits, and those habits will determine.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
The quality of your life.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
And it's no longer about instant gratification. It's about, you know,
setting goals about how you want to live those the
last quarter or the last you know, third of your
life do you want to do you want to spend
that in a wheelchair or confined to your room in bed,
or or with trips to the doctor every week, or
(15:27):
on dialysis or there's so many things that are preventable, preventable.
Why can't I say that word.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It's a it's a super complicated word.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
So many things that are preventable.
Speaker 6 (15:40):
We just have to commit to those, and we've done
pretty good job doing that.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
I think I take the approach of I don't you know,
I'm very American, and I don't like anything taken from me,
you know, like I don't want to give up, and
I approach my a little differently. I tell myself, okay,
add something right, just like, if you're not ready to
(16:09):
give up your fast food or your fried food or
your carbohydrate meals. Ad walking like the best thing about
being in New York. I haven't. I've been so exhausted.
We have twelve hour days. Then we have table reads
and all kinds of things and fittings, and I just
(16:31):
get home and I want to shower and go to bed,
and you know, take my makeup off, and so I'm
not necessarily in the gym every single day. But I
was like, how am I still like hitting my clothes.
It's been four days since I've worked out, and I
walk eleven thousand steps a day.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
In New York City, even if you take the subway
to work, you're like down all those states on the platform,
walk upstairs, walk three blocks to get to where you go.
If I run out of something and I am cooking dinner,
I cook a lot. Now. I walk to the grocery store.
I walk to the pharmacy. I walked to my friend's house.
If you came to visit and I said, let's go
(17:15):
to see a play I love Broadway, we would walk
to get something to eat, and then we would and
I would walk home and it's like all that's we think,
all the stuff, the broad stuff like ten thousand steps
a day will keep your doctor away. It's all true.
All the bumper stickers are true. You I have to
(17:36):
get my water down. It's been very hard for me,
so I buy water in small bottles, so it feels
like a victory when I get one down and then
I can drink nine of them. You know you would ever, Really,
you just start with yourself and know how you want
to approach it. Like everybody wants to feel good, but
nobody likes to feel like adding a burden. And that's
(17:59):
such a shame that feeling good and being healthy feels
like a burden. And no, you're not thinking about the
cancer that might come, the leg amputation that might come,
the heart failure that might come. So it's about slowly
redefining your health as a gift and something you add to.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Your life, adding adding like an enrichment activity, an enrichment
thing that your body's gonna think.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Also, to understand that the chronic diseases aren't transmitted by
something right, that's very important to understand these chronic diseases.
They come from somewhere, right, but they're not transmitted by
something or somebody, So where did they come from? They
come from stuff that you put in your mouth. And
(18:51):
to really face that truth and to say, Okay, don't
want to.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
End up with these diseases, these chronic diseases.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
Or do I want to be preventive start eating the
right way to limit or to reduce the risk of
getting those chronic diseases, because that's where they come from.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
That's where they come from.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
They come from stuff that you put into your mouth
or obviously some environmental factors that it's harder to control, right,
but you are definitely in control of what you put
in your mouth.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
So a level of education and information.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Is very important, and just the truth, the truth is
very We have to face that truth that we are
in control of what we put into our mouth and
we don't have to go through the drive through.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
We don't have to.
Speaker 6 (19:44):
There's other alternatives and how to get real food. And
I understand food deserts. I get that, but still there's
ways to make sure that we feed ourselves in a
way that reduces some of those risks.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
No, I think think you're saying it exactly how it
needs to be heard too. It is a harsh reality,
especially for a lot of people who are avoiding maybe
even going to their doctor because they don't want the
doctor to say it like that. You know, they know
the doctor is going to look at them and say, hey,
well here's what has to happen. So it is really
about it's breaking those habits. It's about understanding what your
(20:21):
body is doing at that given time and how you
want to end up, right, how you want to live?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Do you want to live in there?
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Because look at I just came from Europe. I was
there for three weeks and people look very different.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Why is that? It's because of how they eat, that's why.
And and there's a list of ingredients that are not
allowed they're illegal in Europe that are legal here. So
people have to think about that. You know, there's there's
actually chronic diseases that don't exist in certain countries. There's
(20:57):
African countries for instance, they don't have a mess just
doesn't doesn't exist, right, So.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
That's wild, like to even think about that. Yeah, that,
I mean that's obvious. Then that is an environmental factor
that is playing into where you live.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
It's how we eat and how we how we eat
in this country does not match the idea of the
so called greatest country in the world. Right, We're we're
we're poisoning ourselves and and people have to pay attention
to that.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
All right, So let's move on to another topic that's
very I know, hits very close to home for you
all as well as well as myself.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Maternal health.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
If you're open to it, Nicole, I would love to
talk a little bit about your pregnancies. What made the
difference for you staying healthy during those pregnancies.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Oh, I just felt like I was baking the most
incredible okay, and I only wanted like organic eggs and
organic milk and organic flour. You know. So I was
very conscious of the broccoli and the chicken breast and
(22:06):
the you know, you know, I just I just felt
so blessed that I was making a human that you know,
everything was, Everything was easy to do. I didn't care
about the swelling or the I just it was it was.
(22:28):
I did everything that I was supposed to do, the
folic acid, the vitamins, the water intake because I was
enjoying it. And I had a great partner.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
That helps, Yes, Yeah, that helps, you know, I think
back to my three different pregnancies, and I my very
first pregnancy, I was on my own, and and there
are a lot of people of color who are on
their own the first pregnancy. And I think of my
other two pregnancies, which had a very strong foundation of
(23:00):
a husband and a wife, and and he was wonderful.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
He's a wonderful person.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
But I remember how I was treated differently in the hospital.
I remember how I was treated differently at my appointments.
I remember those feelings of just how different it was.
And I didn't know it the first time because I
just thought, oh, that's normal because it was my first
time being a mother. And I feel like there are
so many women out there who can see that, like, yes,
(23:29):
this is the challenge, but I'm still going through this
and I still have to nurture this body, and I
still have to nurture this baby despite all of the
things that are going on in our communities and for
single mothers in our community as well. So I personally,
I remember like not wanting you to take my fully
(23:50):
cast Like I remember being so sick and just thinking
I don't want to take any of this, and I
like had to lean on my community, like I had
to lean on my friends and my family to tell me, like, no,
this is why, this is important, and this is this
is so it's a mindset, right, everything's a mindset.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Everything is.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You can get through anything if you change your mindset.
So it's wonderful that you had such a solid mindset
when you were going through your own pregnancies. Of no,
this is it the greatest cake I can make. This
is the best thing in the whole world. And it's
such a beautiful, beautiful blessing.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
And I also wasn't afraid to speak up if I
didn't know something.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Oh amazing.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I would encourage a lot of first time moms, young
and middle aged moms to like, speak up. Your doctor
has the information. But you might be number thirteen on
a twenty six patient day, yeah, and so you might
feel shoved. But if you advocate for yourself, do not
(24:52):
be afraid to say, you know, the baby is like
kicking in a way that doesn't feel normal, or I'm
short of breath, just taking two steps, and you know anything,
Just I spoke up, I asked a thousand questions. You know,
how to support your back and there's so many resources
(25:13):
now of you know, places to get the pillows because
we only use them for nine months. You know, all
of my stuff, the crib, the pillows, all the luxuries
that you know, we had access to as young parents.
We would go to these like like Mommy fairs, you know,
and and get the belly cream. But I just I
(25:36):
gave it away and to places that served women who
are you know, they've got a bunch of kids and
jobs and maybe single and you know, deserve to have
a back pillow.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Deserve a little comfort.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yes, just the little things that you just go, okay,
yes I can lay and all that doesn't hurt.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Well, I just would encourage your viewers to find, you
know where where the places are too to support moms.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, how about your postpartum journey? How was that for you?
Speaker 5 (26:17):
You might have to cast Boris.
Speaker 7 (26:20):
I do remember I would say the milk flowed, and
I made the fresh baby food, and you know, I
can care that I was fat.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
And delicious. I felt gorgeous. I don't know how it
translated to Boris though, Well.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
The milk did flow, you were gorgeous, but yeah, postpartum
is real.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Yeah it's real, and I don't remember. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Glad you don't. I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you don't.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Did bite your head off.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Let's just say no. Listen, listen.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
Look, postpartum is real and it's something that couples have
to be prepared for.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I don't think it's it's like it's like marriage. Right.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
We focus on the for better part in the vowels,
not for the worst part, but the for worst part
is going to come for sure, just like the for
better part, and with pregnancy, I think it's the same.
I think you have to be open minded to understanding that, Okay,
the most beautiful, amazing, unconditional love is.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Going to hit you. It's going to be incredible.
Speaker 6 (27:49):
But also there's also parts that are very hard because
the woman and the man they're going through transitional phase
you know, physically, emotionally, mentally, and that transition sometimes culminates
in a weird time post part of right, So you
(28:09):
have to be open to that and you have to,
I think, inform yourself as much as you can.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
And you have as a husband.
Speaker 6 (28:16):
I think it was my job to figure out a
way how to number one, not make her feel crazy
and number two let her know that.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
We're going through this together. Right, you're here, and whatever happens,
we'll tackle.
Speaker 6 (28:33):
It together, and at some point we're going to transition
out of that phase together.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
But it's real, it's different, it's so different.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
It's measurable. Right, your doctor can talk about the hormone
shift that happens once the baby's out of you and
your body is now like on overdrive instinctually to keep
the baby alive. But you're still functioning. You still have
to go to work, still have to get the water
in to keep the milk going and the protein and
(29:05):
your body's change. But also there is a very subtle
part of postpartum that is about you can feel yourself responsible.
It's like that invisible thing responsibility, my future, my capacity.
Can I do this? So it's that thing you can't
always verbalize. And I remember that feeling of, oh God,
(29:30):
this is the beginning of the journey of the rest
of my life. Do I know what I'm doing? What
happens when they're fourteen? But the baby you're just breastfeeding
right now, are am? I should I start talking them
about drugs right away? Like what you know? Manners, God, respect,
make your bed like it's a lot on a person
and you know my grandmother, you know our mom's, mom's,
(29:57):
your husband could commit you like there was no language
around postpartum, Like we're only two generations away realizing we're
not crazy, but we are transforming into something much bigger.
And even in that transformation, the mother has to realize
(30:17):
it's okay to grow well.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
You know. It's also a great conversation to have about
the maternity politics, because the only reason why I postpartum
here is such a big deal is because women are
put in unfathomable situations having had a baby and having
to go back.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
To work right at home.
Speaker 6 (30:36):
In Germany, you have a year a year aid maternity
for both father and mother, and the woman can actually
stay at home for three years if she wants to,
one of which is going to be paid for to
care for this new baby. So when you tackle postpartum
in that kind of environment, it's not as severe as
when you put a woman into a situation where now
(30:58):
she has to support feed baby and.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Go to work and go to work and deal with
real life again.
Speaker 6 (31:05):
So postpartum becomes a huge deal here in this country
because we have put women into unacceptable situations where it's
now detrimental to their own health, to the health of
the child, and to the dynamic of the entire family.
Right when you're talking about families breaking up, couples breaking up,
(31:27):
all those factors play into that. So you can't just
isolate the topic and talk about postpartum. You have to
put it in the right frame of context. And the
right frame of context, unfortunately, is maternity politics. And it's
really our job as the greatest country in the world,
to make sure that our women are taken care of
(31:50):
and therefore our children are taken care of, and we're
not doing it.
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Therefore, the citizens that are coming right behind us m
like these babies are about to be the new leaders,
the new politicians, the new doctors, like create the first
you know, uh, formative years as base and solid as possible,
you know, And it's just common sense. I couldn't believe.
(32:15):
I met women in Germany and France and all these places.
They were like, yeah, I'm going to go back to
my job in eight months.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
And when they go to childcare because they know that
they're dealing with still a one year old, then your
childcare is added.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
To your check yeah, oh my goodness.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Or your eye or your job has a section where
the one year olds are. Yeah, they know that they're
creating better employees and their future.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Employees absolutely and encouraging a family and encouraging those kinds
of things because you can do it.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You can do it.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
It's forward thinking.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, it really is. It's looking forward. I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I think about postpartum for us here beside those factors
that you talk about, but even just the mother not
really getting that follow up checkups.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
See, we look, we have the baby right, and.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
There's what you got to go back in a week,
We got to go back in two weeks, we gotta
go back in six weeks. You know, we're there all
the time making sure they're getting all of their little
vaccinations and things. But there's no checkup like that for
moms here. But I know that that in Europe there are,
and they like literally do check ups on your all
the parts that went through, all the parts that went
(33:34):
through the trauma. And I feel like that is just
such a missing piece here beside all of the other
things that you obviously well you.
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Know, when you focus and you you you make human
beings the priority. All those things are just logic. You know,
it doesn't take a scientist to figure out that all
those things are connected.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Yeah, but if.
Speaker 6 (33:56):
You make you know, corporate bottom lines the priority, then
those all those things fallow by the wayside. So then
talking about how kids are our future is just fake
because it's not true. The way we live here, it's
not true that kids are a priority. It's not Look
at the school system, look at a healthcare system.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
It's just not. So we have to be honest about that, right.
We live in a country that does not prioritize people.
Speaker 6 (34:23):
People come second or third on the list, right, and
we have to be very honest about that because it's
the truth. And no matter how you slice it or
dice it' that's just how it is. When you going
to school and you kill twelve kids and the gun
laws don't change, that says something. Yeah, we kids are
not priority. Human lives are not party. Priority is making
(34:47):
sure that the bottom line of those big fortune of
und companies are intact and the profits are intact, and
that's the priority. So that's I guess, Yes, okay, but
you got to be honest about it. Yeah, you got
to be honest about it. So we have to deal
with all those things in the right context.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
And maybe that started with the stress in the home,
not being able to stay home.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
You know that you have to think about that.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
It's there with the right piece for the mother, the
right peace for the father, the right care for the child,
you know, and the environment in those formative years. It's
very real. There's a lot to do.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But I would in November, yeah, yeah, but you.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Can't change the system tomorrow. But if any women are
listening to this, I would say, don't make that doctor
visit a pit stop. You're about to have whatever the
new American time is twenty two seventeen minutes per patient
(36:04):
or whatever it is, twenty six, I don't know, there's
an actual number that you try to get to keep
the appointment succinct. Have your three questions, even if you
don't even think about them except when you need to
like deal with something, be like I'm coughing, something's going
on down there, and have severe headaches all the time.
(36:28):
Your doctor is so equipped and ready for that question.
But if you go in there and treat her that
moment as just as dismissible, then she's just going to
do the or he's going to do the protocol. But
you are allowed to go in there and say my
breasts feel weird, my feet swell at night, but I'm
so healthy or you know, I can't see that's not
(36:52):
my eyes are going bad. That might be sugar.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, yeah, and you know that's fun.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I think through there's a common thread through a lot
of these podcasts that we've been doing, and it's about
your advocacy. Right.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
You have to advocate for yourself. Yeah, you really have to.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
And if that, if that's very hard for you, it's
bring someone with you, Yeah, who can sit there and
advocate alongside you.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
It doesn't have to be your spouse. Maybe it's your
best friend, maybe it's.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Your mom, but it's someone that can hear it through
a different, you know, mindset, because you're hearing things you
want to hear maybe sometimes and somebody else that can
sit there with you and say, well, then what about
this is.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
What your obgyn might be a parent.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Too, Yeah, yeah, exactly, and.
Speaker 5 (37:38):
Might say, you know, I my skin itched severely too,
and I always have a reaction to one of the
vitamins I was taking, And bring your vitamins next time,
let me see what you're taking. Like, you start to
develop that relationship, but sometimes you have to start.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
It, yep. And if it's not if it's not a fit, right,
if your doctor is not a fit for you.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
But if they're not responsive, yeah, there may be somebody
else in the practice or somebody else nearby.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Yeah, well, let's talk about I want to talk about
about your kids.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
So you've obviously navigated and you still.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Are wanting to open up. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I have a question for your hours. We're gonna talk
more about your kids. You have navigated teenage years. I
know how hard that is because I've got three. I
had three at one point in teenageyeers, I understand you
have done some really cool stuff alongside your kids, like
incorporating them through boris your your fitness ap during the pandemic,
(38:36):
and like, as crazy as I can't, I can't even
how did you do this? And I need to know
your secrets. But like keeping the kids off their cell
phones when you're in the car, Tell me your secrets,
tell me your ways.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
How well they didn't even have cell phones too.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
We don't start the whole cell phone thing until they
were fourteen, So we beautiful Toy was.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Twelve, well before we started twelve okay, okay, we.
Speaker 6 (38:59):
Had out for a long time because we knew how
detrimental it was to their development, and we want to
make sure that they grow up without the addiction and
without being dependent on those devices. And look, as parents,
everybody can relate. We're always exhausted, we always have fifteen
jobs to do, and then it's much easier to put
(39:23):
an iPad in front of you a six year old
so he can give you some peace of mind for
a second.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Totally, I totally understand that it's legit because.
Speaker 5 (39:31):
If you take their phones away, you have to engage
with them.
Speaker 6 (39:34):
Yes, but if you don't, if you choose to engage
with the child instead, you play, you take them outside.
You're setting a foundation, especially in the first six years
of their life. You're coding their subconscious mind where now
for the rest of their lives they're not dependent on
those devices, and they're actually developing a sense of imagination,
(39:57):
fantasy of self really and and I think we did that,
and we did a good job at that. We traveled
with the kids, We showed them things. I mean, we
took the kids, speaking of pandemic, we took the kids
to to what was it the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Two years ago.
Speaker 6 (40:17):
We went on a road trip during the pandemic and
got out, got out the house.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
And it does a lot for.
Speaker 6 (40:26):
Not just the family dynamic, but also for the kids
everybody individually.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
You know, showed them that there's a whole world out there.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Don't keep them cooped up in those four walls and
and with their with their TV. That kids never had
a TV in their room until to this day, never
and we reduced all of them no video games. We
we look, we took them outside and we were exhausted,
and we still took them outside and just walked and
and they played and they climbed street.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
You were really good about let's go for a bike ride. Yeah,
we just.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
Look, we just we just made that extra effort. And
I think, and I'm one hundred percent sure that the
reason why they are who they are today is because
we made that extra effort. And no parents are out
there they're saying, well, you know, I have two jobs. Yes,
I get it. We work and we have to multi
(41:27):
task and manage different things all the time. But it
is worth it. And I'm not talking about sending them
with a nanny. I'm I'm talking about we went out
and did stuff with the kids, even when I came
home from work and I was dead tired.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
You got a little three year old bouncing up and down.
What are you going to do? Put him in front
of a TV or take him outside? Let's go I
would always say, let's go on adventure. What's going on
an adventure?
Speaker 7 (41:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:56):
I want to also jump in because sometimes you don't
live place where you can go outside, or you know,
it is late and so, and I'm not I wasn't
really the person that would like, let's go for a
run kids, so I I mean, you know, Sophie helped
me cook dinner.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Let's let's.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Like I had to include them in my projects. We
made really good creating projects for Them's make the bed here,
put these clothes in the dryer, Let's fold these, Let's
wash your sneakers. Let me teach you how to bake
a cake, that cake that we love. Can you okay,
get the flour, get the sifter. It was like I
was more practical life, and so the phones wouldn't be
(42:41):
the primary photo.
Speaker 6 (42:43):
Dance off so we would have dance. The girls would
chore choreograph dance dance stuff, and we have we still
have video as hilarious.
Speaker 5 (42:56):
That the world will.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Come on play, Nicholas, go grab your grab your tuba.
What was he playing?
Speaker 5 (43:06):
He was playing the saxophone.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
No, the trumpet, the trumpet, Go grab your trumpet. And
it was terrible.
Speaker 5 (43:11):
It was bigger, it was bigger than him and.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It sounded so terrible. And we encouraged him to play,
and he would play.
Speaker 6 (43:19):
It would like you just have to put the extra
You don't have to have to put on the extra effort.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
I know it's exhausting, but it's so work.
Speaker 6 (43:27):
When I see these three year olds on their iPads,
the whole family on the it, it makes me cringe
because I know what's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
You know, three, four, five, ten years down the line.
Speaker 6 (43:39):
You know, you completely isolated from your family members, you're
not social, you're in your own, cooped up world. You
develop all these weird, you know, mental health issues because
you're completely addicted to this device and and what it
gives you.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
It's it's terrible.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
It's scary, it really is.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
And then you factor in what the other kids are doing,
you know, and how they interact with within each other,
and that's like a whole nother topic.
Speaker 5 (44:08):
Yeah, I wouldn't stress, and don't you know I don't
want anyone to stress out because the other fourteen hours
a day your kids away from you. Yeah, their friends
are going to be in the phone, they're going to
be looking at TikTok and yeah maybe cool. But I
just the time we have with them right as parents
is your time, and there's a way to sprinkle in
(44:31):
just some freshness into their brain.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Really, you're right, You're absolutely right. Uh, we have a
sign in our kitchen. We know our house is kind
of small, so our kitchen is like the biggest area
in our house.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
It's got a big area in the middle.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I have a sign and then that says this kitchen
is for dancing, and that's so and it's cool. I
was like, oh my gosh, this was like the perfect
sign ever, because literally this is where we dance. Like I'll,
you know, Alexa put this on or whatever and we'll
just be in the and it's like random dancing that
has to happen. And it's those moments though, it's those
(45:04):
it's those moments that they create those bonds. It's those
moments that they create those memories. Right, I mean, I know,
you know, we've all seen inside out. I really feel
like it's like that, you know, these are creating these
core memories. All of the things are related to each other,
and it's about the interaction and the human interaction. So
(45:24):
it's so wonderful to see you. I mean, I've been
looking through your your social media and stuff. It seems
like you have such a very beautiful bond with your kids,
and I know that it had to have started like that,
So wonderful kudos do you both. Let's talk really quickly.
I know we're going a little long, but about preventative visits.
So a lot I know a lot of people have
(45:46):
been putting those things off even since the pandemic, and
I'm I'm guilty. I literally just took the kids back
to the dentisis here and I was like, I we
haven't gone. We just have those six months, you know,
every six months we were going, we were going, pandemic
came and just like everything went out the window. What
has worked for your family to prioritize those type of things.
I know they're older now and I know maybe with
(46:09):
you know, your daughter, you probably can't go to all
of her visits any longer since she's maybe aged out.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
But of them, I've kind of fallen off with the
calendar for that because all four of us are in
so many different places. But she's really on top of
her schedule.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yeah, great, which is wonderful.
Speaker 6 (46:29):
I think it's teaching them at an early age that
you're responsible for your well being, whether it's physical, spiritual,
and mental, and there's things that you can do, and
there's help you can get, and you have to stay
on top of that, whether it's going to a dentist
or therapy or or you know, or regular general practitioner visits.
(46:54):
It's it's like anything else. You know, we model for
them what that looks like at an early age, so
when we do it, it becomes a normal to them,
and then they do it. You can't preach, you have
to do it. You know, the whole thing about don't
do as I you know, as I do say, do
(47:17):
as I say.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
It doesn't work. You just have to. You have to
do it.
Speaker 6 (47:21):
And Sophie does it because mommy does it right, and
Mommy did it.
Speaker 4 (47:27):
And no, Sophie does it.
Speaker 6 (47:27):
So's it's just one of those teaching things that you
have to include in when you raise your kids.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Is that's the example, mm hmm, absolutely, I know we
touched a little bit about it, just about the mental
health side of things, especially when we're talking about blood
pressure and really taking moments for yourself. How have you
been able to do that for yourself separately? I know,
since you work in different places sometimes, do you have
(47:55):
a set I don't know, like a pattern that you
that you do wake up, I do five minutes of
mindfulness or what are your days look like with your
mental health?
Speaker 4 (48:04):
Yeah, same thing.
Speaker 6 (48:05):
It's a routine and we do it individually, and when
we're together, we do it together.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
You know.
Speaker 6 (48:10):
First thing, like I have to deal with myself. I
don't touch my phone for an hour after I wake up,
So I spend time first with meditation, prayer, and then
I work out and it's.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
Me time again. When I'm with Nicole, we do it together.
Speaker 6 (48:27):
And that's also something we've taught to kids, and it's
a journey that they have.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
To sort of explore on their own right.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Everybody has their own relationship with being a spiritual being,
whether you believe in God or the universe, or however
you approach that. The most important thing about that is
that you understand that there's a source of power that
you can connect with whether you call it light or
(48:57):
God ornot, that you have to spend some time connecting
to that hour every day and then feeling the effects
of that and understanding that it's a true it's a
real thing, and it's something that can help you stay grounded.
It's something that can help you reduce stress. And so
(49:22):
mindfulness is a real thing. Again, as parents, we model
that behavior and we introduced those routines, those patterns, those
those habits into our kids' lives. And I knew that
it worked when I overheard my six year old son
teach it to his friend.
Speaker 4 (49:41):
That's when That's when I knew it worked.
Speaker 6 (49:44):
When Nicholas taught his friend, Hey, how to how to visualize?
And yeah, it's I think it's important for them, and
I think our kids have sort of started building their
own way around those sort of paradigms.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, and how about you, Nicole, I mean, how are
you do you? What are you doing right now to
keep on top of your mental health?
Speaker 5 (50:12):
Well, I pray my journal and I stopped making prayer
and meditation precious, meaning if I close my laptop right now,
I might just stay sitting here and take time to
breathe instead of running off to the next thing and
(50:35):
saying thank you, Like I have so many things pulling
that I like to be grateful for the moment, you know,
and though and that's cumulative. It stacks on top of
each other, and like by the end of the day,
I will have like an amazing day. And if I don't,
I'm prepared for it, you know. And I don't know,
(50:59):
I just still making it precious and putting just like
working out, just like do it where you are, you know,
and you don't need a bunch of stuff to to
to give thanks and be grateful and connect with God,
you know. So that's how I do it. It's practical life,
it's not precious.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
That's a great tip.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I think that's a wonderful tip because you know what
you do put that, you put that on your that
boundary in your own head.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, I can only do this when I'm at home,
sitting on my couch where I'm calm, and no, you
can do that anywhere.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
You really can do that anywhere.
Speaker 5 (51:38):
Yeah, yeah, and uh, and you can get more invested
in it when you realize like it's you know, sometimes
people say my God is a jealous God or whatever,
and I never really understood that. But when Boris talks
about the force of God and the light of God,
like the minute you pay attention to the thing that's
(51:59):
beating your heart, you could almost feel it be like, yes,
thank you, I'm here. But I mean I can you
can feel that the attention you give to your heartbeat
and to your breath just loves it. It shows up
for you, you know, when you give peace in your mind,
attention is like, yes, I got you. But if you
(52:23):
ignore it and ignore it and ignore it and ignore it,
it's like, oh, she don't she doesn't want joy. I'm
gonna just say it.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
And it's miraculous and I don't want to be on
a on a rock right now, and of you know, but.
Speaker 5 (52:41):
It's it's pretty life changing. And the and the minute
I started thinking that way, it's my life just kept growing.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Yeah, Oh I like that.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I I think, uh, A lot of times I talk
for a living and I'm on the radio and I'm
on multiple shows and I'm to go, go, go, go go,
and I have to talk and talk and talk, and
sometimes I patch myself without breath.
Speaker 5 (53:07):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
You know where I'm I I can hear it, I
can hear it. I can hear it. I can hear it, and.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
I'm like, I need to take a second, and I
need to breathe through this moment because even though I
don't think anything's bothering me, I can hear it.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Like when I play something back and I'm like, whoa,
who is that? Who is that?
Speaker 2 (53:29):
She is not breathing but it's But I feel like
that's that mindfulness moment within yourself when you realize I
do need to pay attention to myself, to listen to myself,
to realize I don't think I've taken a deep breath
in hours, hours, And those are those big cleansing.
Speaker 1 (53:48):
Everything feels better breath right, yeah, And that is that's
you finding Oh yeah, yeah, you're there. See I paid
attention to you. I'm good, I'm good, I'm back.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
Those are those good moments. Oh you guys have been
such a joy.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Thank you so much. Before we wrap up, I just
I want to ask. I know there's been so many
great conversations, pieces of nuggets of knowledge and stuff going
on here, But what are the three biggest takeaways you
hope that our listeners get from this conversation today.
Speaker 6 (54:22):
I think there's one major one is that you have
the power to change your life. And whether that's your
health or your relationships or whatever it is, you are
in charge of doing that. When people say I want
my life to change, it's really about you making those
(54:44):
changes for yourself and that you can start immediately. You
don't have to wait for something to happen. You know,
people always procrastinate and they speak so much power into
exterial things, exterior things. M h, it's that happens, then
(55:05):
something will change if that happens. No, it's really about
you and which is a great power to have knowing
that you can single handly change your life. Every single
day when you wake up, there's a new opportunity. And
I would like people to get that to because a takeaway.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Yeah you have the power.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
Well, thank you so much, and thank you for all
you've done for ie HP or advocacy within the community
and beyond.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
It has not gone unnoticed.
Speaker 2 (55:35):
We've talked about having you guys on the show for
a long time, so we were so excited that you
guys were able to be here.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
So for having us, thank you. Yes, I hope.
Speaker 6 (55:43):
So.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
I feel like there's so many more avenues we can
go down, so you guys have a wonderful day. I
can't wait to hear all about I can't wait to
look at your social media and see you're together.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I know, yay dude.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
You both take care and thank you so so very
much for joining me.
All right, here we are. We are back.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to Covering Your Health with Evely and e Revez,
presented by I EhP. This show is going to be special.
I know you were going to get as much out
of it as I did.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I could pinch myself Right now.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We have Hollywood Howard House couple Boris Kojo and Nicole
Ari Parker on the podcast today.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Due this is so exciting.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
I'm a huge fan of both of them. This is
just amazing. So Boris just completed the seventh season, the
final season of ABC's show Station nineteen, and Nicole is
currently filming the third season of one of my favorite
shows too, Max's hit show and just like that in
New York. Of course, it's the spinoff from Sex and
(00:46):
the City. Boris and Nicole have partnered with I EhP
previously to raise awareness about health disparities that impact the
African American community, and today we are going.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
To check in with the couple.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Hear how they've navigated their own health journeys and just
really how they balance their physical and mental health, what
tips they have for fellow parents. We're going to talk
about their kids and how they keep them healthy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh, I just know you're going to love today's episode.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Welcome to Covering your Health, a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:41):
podcast is presented by I E.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
HP.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, without further ado, welcome, Boris and Nicole.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Hello, Oh my gosh. We're so excited to have you.
This is this is crazy.
Speaker 5 (01:59):
First.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Obviously you are in two different locations. Can we talk
a little bit about that. How you're juggling this right now?
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (02:07):
Well, we're kind of used to, you said, you know,
Nicole's shooting her show in New York. I shot my
show here in La. So we go, we go back
and forth. You know, we love New York, so it's
not hard for me to go over there and see
her and spend some time. And now that the kids
uh pretty much out the house, there's really nothing keeping
(02:28):
me in La except the two.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Dogs that we have so yeah, yeah, dogs, So you
guys are primarily based in La then or in New York.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
In LA, we've been in LA for a while, and
now that Nicole's shooting in New York, we spent some
equal amount of time in both places.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Well, okay, so let's chat a little bit about your
schedules right now. So you're filming, Boris, Are you still
currently filming right now?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
No, we just wrapped the final season of Station nineteen
two months ago.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
So yeah, it's a little it's a little bit bittersweet.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
And on the one hand, it's great because you get to,
you know, tackle new endeavors and challenges and have fun
doing other things. On the other hand, we've established this
family for the past seven years, so I'm going to
miss those people.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Oh my gosh, it had a good run, it really Yeah,
that was a good show. So I'll congratulations too on that.
And then, of course, Nicole, you are busy, busy right now.
I have watched all the first two seasons as well,
and just like that. So how's it going third season
right now?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:39):
It's incredible. Yeah, I'm here, I've been here. I haven't
seen my husband in person in three weeks. Oh no,
I know. So I'm like, I'm so excited to go
home this weekend.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Oh I bet, Oh my god. Okay, we'll make this
quick then right now. I love it up.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
The fashion is still the same, the cast is just spectacular.
The writing I'm I'm just I'm just having a good time.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
That is amazing. I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I'm all in, I'm all in. I cannot wait for
the third season. So very exciting. Okay, So this is
a health and wellness podcast. You both are big, big advocates.
You have a long legacy of health advocacy through the
Kojo Family Foundation. Let's talk about it. Let's get right
into it. Tell us about your philanthropy efforts on behalf
(04:35):
of your daughter. I want to hear about that a
little bit. Sophie's spina bifida journey.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Well, when we first started the foundation, it was around
it really grew out of a necessity to not only
reach out to other families, but also kind of support ourselves.
I mean, our first baby was born with spina bifida
and search very early in her life, and had subsequently
(05:03):
had a very high maintenance lifestyle, medication and all kinds
of things, and so our parenting was turned on to
like one hundred percent about becoming very healthy, very regimented,
and so the foundation was focused around that. But around
fourteen years old, she's nineteen now, Sophie said, you know,
(05:26):
I don't I want my own voice. I don't necessarily
know if I want the foundation to be named after me,
And so we took that to heart, and now it's
still about supporting families in the health space, but also
providing scholarships in the athletic space too, because I'm married
(05:46):
to a very excited tennis player, very passionate tennis player
who really remembers I'll let him speak for himself, but
it's really about outreach and providing exposure and talent to
coaches and schools and academies and giving kids a chance.
(06:08):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And you have a very talented athlete in the family too,
write your son.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Yes, he was my little Bubba seventeen, the six to
six and he's in Finland right now and Helsinki playing
the finals for the European Championships.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Oh my god, how is that? How hard is that
to be separate from him?
Speaker 5 (06:31):
I know that's the hardest part. Oh yeah, it's it's
part of our life now that moves around, so we're
kind of used to it. But Borist got to see him.
I'm a little jealous.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
I just got back from there and I got to
see a couple of games and they're doing really well.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
They've made the Semis now and.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
They qualified for the World Cup next year, which is exciting.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Oh my gosh, that's great. And if they win the tournament,
it's going to be the first time.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
A German youth team has won the European Championship, so
they're super. We're just proud parents who watch their kids
spread their wings and go, you know, just to be
able to witness that growth and be you know, an
audience to their journeys as they as they launch is
(07:27):
just it's surreal because, like Nicole said, he was just
a little baby with Sophie and just to see them
be these humans and training is incredible.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
People always ask about our marriage. Sorry, well it's me
and you know, how do we make it work. I
think just from the very beginning, we wanted to be parents,
like he wanted to be a dad and I wanted
to be a mom. And I think that having that
focus and then having Sophie and Nicks. It is just
(08:03):
this should accomplish.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, what kind of parents that you.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Don't if you pull us into a conversation about our kids,
like you might have to rain this in you a
hundred examples of what we're proud of right now.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, that's I got three kids. I get it, I
at it. I'm in the thick of it. My oldest
is twenty one.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I got a sixteen year old and a thirteen year old, so.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
You know, so it's like when you're it's like when
you're building something. Are you making something out of legos?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (08:34):
And then it's finished and you want everybody to see it,
like look, look, look, yes, look.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
That's a great example what I made.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, it didn't start like this. I just need to know.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
It was a whole lot of pieces on the floor.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Everything was messy, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
You know, I don't, I know, I totally get it.
How SOPHI doing now? You said she's nineteen years old.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
She's nineteen, she's great.
Speaker 6 (09:01):
She's about to start her second year at Howard University
in DC, and you know, we're back to, you know,
being proud. It's like she's been through so much and
she has weathered all these storms, and she has this
tremendous amount of confidence about her, and she's self sufficient, independent,
(09:23):
she knows what she needs to do on a daily basis,
and just to have this beautiful light about her and
to be social and to be engaging and to have
all these friends and you know, it's it's just wonderful
to watch her drive on her own in the big
city and she loves it. I mean, we've traveled with
(09:46):
these kids since we're babies, all over the world, so
they used to new places, new people, and it's actually
it's actually really really excited, exciting for them to venture
out and do all these things. So, yeah, she's I'm
about to drop her a Howard two weeks. Yeah, two weeks.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Oh my goodness. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, congratulations because it sounds like you got the parented
think gun.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's like good, it's that's all the way down.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
People say, you never stopped, so we'll see what happens. Yeah,
so we'll see.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, that is that's amazing. Well, congratulations to you both. Okay,
so let's talk a little bit about IHP.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
You have done a lot with us to raise awareness
about health issues that are disproportionately impacting the African American community,
and how there are really three areas that IHP is
really trying to be diligent on high blood pressure, maternal
health and child well visits, which you know so many
(10:46):
of us have little a little bit, right, I want
to talk to you a little bit about each one
of those. First high blood pressure, it's something that many
many Americans struggle with. The American Heart Association actually how
delated at fifty five of African American adults have high
blood pressure. What do you both do? And a very
(11:06):
healthy people, but to keep those numbers in check? As
you get older, things change. Tell us what do you
do and how can the everyday person try to help
keep that in check as well?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well?
Speaker 6 (11:18):
I think blood pressure is a great example of a
condition that is manageable and preventable, preventable, but can lead
to chronic diseases. Right, So it's very important that we
pay attention to that off the bat. You know, there's
there's three four different simple ways how to keep your
blood pressure in check. Number one losing that extra weight, right,
(11:41):
that's very important to exercise, you know, don't smoke, limit
alcohol intake. It's about sodium, So don't eat processed foods
or cut down on the processed foods because it's full
of sodium. You know, natural foods don't really have much sodium. So, uh,
(12:02):
those are simple things that you can do in your
everyday life to to manage your blood pressure and make
sure it stays in a great at a at a
great level stress. You know, you got to reduce stress
where you can, which then leads us to you know,
mindfulness and and and mental health to manage stress means too,
(12:27):
you know, include some some some routines in your life
that help you get come down, whether it's meditation or
taking a walk, or putting on some music and sitting
in your space and not being inundated by social media
any other you know, detrimental uh, influences on your on
(12:51):
your mind. Cold showers something else that helps a lot
of people are opposed to that. But even when you
take it ailey shower at the end of the day,
crank it cold for thirty seconds. If you get to
two minutes, you're good, you straight, but start with twenty seconds.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
I never knew that.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I never knew that was that.
Speaker 6 (13:12):
Yeah, absolutely, that spikes all those different hormones serotonin, dopamine
that all reduces stress.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
So those are here, and you got and your cousins
pushed you in the freezing cold pool first, and even
though you got mad at them, you were like yeah,
but then it was like the best day ever. And
when you're twelve, you don't think about dopamine and serotonin,
but that's exactly what happened to you. Yeah, and you know,
(13:46):
and I've you know, he's brainwashed me into liking cold
water now.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
But well, liking cold water is a strong.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
Right, Like I can feel the measurable impact, Like I
can feel it, like, oh im pick up today for
work and I feel like bright eyed and bushy tailed,
and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet.
It's right away.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
See, okay, I see that those.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Are easy things, right, or also blood sugar right to
try to keep that sugar intake low, especially refined sugars.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
You don't need that.
Speaker 6 (14:23):
I think sometimes people don't wake up until it has
developed into a chronic disease. And that's why I think
it's important what you're doing, Evelyn, to raise it, to
raise awareness around some of the preventive, preventative things that
we can do on a daily basis that don't cost
any extra money. It's just a matter of committing to
(14:46):
something that helps you live a fuller life, especially as
you get older. Yeah, because after fifty sixty into your seventies,
it's really all about those habits, and those habits will determine.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
The quality of your life.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
And it's no longer about instant gratification. It's about, you know,
setting goals about how you want to live those the
last quarter or the last you know, third of your
life do you want to do you want to spend
that in a wheelchair or confined to your room in bed,
or or with trips to the doctor every week, or
(15:27):
on dialysis or there's so many things that are preventable, preventable.
Why can't I say that word.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
It's a it's a super complicated word.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
So many things that are preventable.
Speaker 6 (15:40):
We just have to commit to those, and we've done
pretty good job doing that.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
I think I take the approach of I don't you know,
I'm very American, and I don't like anything taken from me,
you know, like I don't want to give up, and
I approach my a little differently. I tell myself, okay,
add something right, just like, if you're not ready to
(16:09):
give up your fast food or your fried food or
your carbohydrate meals. Ad walking like the best thing about
being in New York. I haven't. I've been so exhausted.
We have twelve hour days. Then we have table reads
and all kinds of things and fittings, and I just
(16:31):
get home and I want to shower and go to bed,
and you know, take my makeup off, and so I'm
not necessarily in the gym every single day. But I
was like, how am I still like hitting my clothes.
It's been four days since I've worked out, and I
walk eleven thousand steps a day.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
In New York City, even if you take the subway
to work, you're like down all those states on the platform,
walk upstairs, walk three blocks to get to where you go.
If I run out of something and I am cooking dinner,
I cook a lot. Now. I walk to the grocery store.
I walk to the pharmacy. I walked to my friend's house.
If you came to visit and I said, let's go
(17:15):
to see a play I love Broadway, we would walk
to get something to eat, and then we would and
I would walk home and it's like all that's we think,
all the stuff, the broad stuff like ten thousand steps
a day will keep your doctor away. It's all true.
All the bumper stickers are true. You I have to
(17:36):
get my water down. It's been very hard for me,
so I buy water in small bottles, so it feels
like a victory when I get one down and then
I can drink nine of them. You know you would ever, Really,
you just start with yourself and know how you want
to approach it. Like everybody wants to feel good, but
nobody likes to feel like adding a burden. And that's
(17:59):
such a shame that feeling good and being healthy feels
like a burden. And no, you're not thinking about the
cancer that might come, the leg amputation that might come,
the heart failure that might come. So it's about slowly
redefining your health as a gift and something you add to.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Your life, adding adding like an enrichment activity, an enrichment
thing that your body's gonna think.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Also, to understand that the chronic diseases aren't transmitted by
something right, that's very important to understand these chronic diseases.
They come from somewhere, right, but they're not transmitted by
something or somebody, So where did they come from? They
come from stuff that you put in your mouth. And
(18:51):
to really face that truth and to say, Okay, don't
want to.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
End up with these diseases, these chronic diseases.
Speaker 6 (18:59):
Or do I want to be preventive start eating the
right way to limit or to reduce the risk of
getting those chronic diseases, because that's where they come from.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
That's where they come from.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
They come from stuff that you put into your mouth
or obviously some environmental factors that it's harder to control, right,
but you are definitely in control of what you put
in your mouth.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
So a level of education and information.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Is very important, and just the truth, the truth is
very We have to face that truth that we are
in control of what we put into our mouth and
we don't have to go through the drive through.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
We don't have to.
Speaker 6 (19:44):
There's other alternatives and how to get real food. And
I understand food deserts. I get that, but still there's
ways to make sure that we feed ourselves in a
way that reduces some of those risks.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
No, I think think you're saying it exactly how it
needs to be heard too. It is a harsh reality,
especially for a lot of people who are avoiding maybe
even going to their doctor because they don't want the
doctor to say it like that. You know, they know
the doctor is going to look at them and say, hey,
well here's what has to happen. So it is really
about it's breaking those habits. It's about understanding what your
(20:21):
body is doing at that given time and how you
want to end up, right, how you want to live?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Do you want to live in there?
Speaker 6 (20:27):
Because look at I just came from Europe. I was
there for three weeks and people look very different.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Why is that? It's because of how they eat, that's why.
And and there's a list of ingredients that are not
allowed they're illegal in Europe that are legal here. So
people have to think about that. You know, there's there's
actually chronic diseases that don't exist in certain countries. There's
(20:57):
African countries for instance, they don't have a mess just
doesn't doesn't exist, right, So.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
That's wild, like to even think about that. Yeah, that,
I mean that's obvious. Then that is an environmental factor
that is playing into where you live.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
It's how we eat and how we how we eat
in this country does not match the idea of the
so called greatest country in the world. Right, We're we're
we're poisoning ourselves and and people have to pay attention
to that.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
All right, So let's move on to another topic that's
very I know, hits very close to home for you
all as well as well as myself.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Maternal health.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
If you're open to it, Nicole, I would love to
talk a little bit about your pregnancies. What made the
difference for you staying healthy during those pregnancies.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Oh, I just felt like I was baking the most
incredible okay, and I only wanted like organic eggs and
organic milk and organic flour. You know. So I was
very conscious of the broccoli and the chicken breast and
(22:06):
the you know, you know, I just I just felt
so blessed that I was making a human that you know,
everything was, Everything was easy to do. I didn't care
about the swelling or the I just it was it was.
(22:28):
I did everything that I was supposed to do, the
folic acid, the vitamins, the water intake because I was
enjoying it. And I had a great partner.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
That helps, Yes, Yeah, that helps, you know, I think
back to my three different pregnancies, and I my very
first pregnancy, I was on my own, and and there
are a lot of people of color who are on
their own the first pregnancy. And I think of my
other two pregnancies, which had a very strong foundation of
(23:00):
a husband and a wife, and and he was wonderful.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
He's a wonderful person.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
But I remember how I was treated differently in the hospital.
I remember how I was treated differently at my appointments.
I remember those feelings of just how different it was.
And I didn't know it the first time because I
just thought, oh, that's normal because it was my first
time being a mother. And I feel like there are
so many women out there who can see that, like, yes,
(23:29):
this is the challenge, but I'm still going through this
and I still have to nurture this body, and I
still have to nurture this baby despite all of the
things that are going on in our communities and for
single mothers in our community as well. So I personally,
I remember like not wanting you to take my fully
(23:50):
cast Like I remember being so sick and just thinking
I don't want to take any of this, and I
like had to lean on my community, like I had
to lean on my friends and my family to tell me, like, no,
this is why, this is important, and this is this
is so it's a mindset, right, everything's a mindset.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Everything is.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You can get through anything if you change your mindset.
So it's wonderful that you had such a solid mindset
when you were going through your own pregnancies. Of no,
this is it the greatest cake I can make. This
is the best thing in the whole world. And it's
such a beautiful, beautiful blessing.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
And I also wasn't afraid to speak up if I
didn't know something.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Oh amazing.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I would encourage a lot of first time moms, young
and middle aged moms to like, speak up. Your doctor
has the information. But you might be number thirteen on
a twenty six patient day, yeah, and so you might
feel shoved. But if you advocate for yourself, do not
(24:52):
be afraid to say, you know, the baby is like
kicking in a way that doesn't feel normal, or I'm
short of breath, just taking two steps, and you know anything,
Just I spoke up, I asked a thousand questions. You know,
how to support your back and there's so many resources
(25:13):
now of you know, places to get the pillows because
we only use them for nine months. You know, all
of my stuff, the crib, the pillows, all the luxuries
that you know, we had access to as young parents.
We would go to these like like Mommy fairs, you know,
and and get the belly cream. But I just I
(25:36):
gave it away and to places that served women who
are you know, they've got a bunch of kids and
jobs and maybe single and you know, deserve to have
a back pillow.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Deserve a little comfort.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Yes, just the little things that you just go, okay,
yes I can lay and all that doesn't hurt.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Well, I just would encourage your viewers to find, you
know where where the places are too to support moms.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, how about your postpartum journey? How was that for you?
Speaker 5 (26:17):
You might have to cast Boris.
Speaker 7 (26:20):
I do remember I would say the milk flowed, and
I made the fresh baby food, and you know, I
can care that I was fat.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
And delicious. I felt gorgeous. I don't know how it
translated to Boris though, Well.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
The milk did flow, you were gorgeous, but yeah, postpartum
is real.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Yeah it's real, and I don't remember. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Glad you don't. I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you don't.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Did bite your head off.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Let's just say no. Listen, listen.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
Look, postpartum is real and it's something that couples have
to be prepared for.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
I don't think it's it's like it's like marriage. Right.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
We focus on the for better part in the vowels,
not for the worst part, but the for worst part
is going to come for sure, just like the for
better part, and with pregnancy, I think it's the same.
I think you have to be open minded to understanding that, Okay,
the most beautiful, amazing, unconditional love is.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Going to hit you. It's going to be incredible.
Speaker 6 (27:49):
But also there's also parts that are very hard because
the woman and the man they're going through transitional phase
you know, physically, emotionally, mentally, and that transition sometimes culminates
in a weird time post part of right, So you
(28:09):
have to be open to that and you have to,
I think, inform yourself as much as you can.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
And you have as a husband.
Speaker 6 (28:16):
I think it was my job to figure out a
way how to number one, not make her feel crazy
and number two let her know that.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
We're going through this together. Right, you're here, and whatever happens,
we'll tackle.
Speaker 6 (28:33):
It together, and at some point we're going to transition
out of that phase together.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
But it's real, it's different, it's so different.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
It's measurable. Right, your doctor can talk about the hormone
shift that happens once the baby's out of you and
your body is now like on overdrive instinctually to keep
the baby alive. But you're still functioning. You still have
to go to work, still have to get the water
in to keep the milk going and the protein and
(29:05):
your body's change. But also there is a very subtle
part of postpartum that is about you can feel yourself responsible.
It's like that invisible thing responsibility, my future, my capacity.
Can I do this? So it's that thing you can't
always verbalize. And I remember that feeling of, oh God,
(29:30):
this is the beginning of the journey of the rest
of my life. Do I know what I'm doing? What
happens when they're fourteen? But the baby you're just breastfeeding
right now, are am? I should I start talking them
about drugs right away? Like what you know? Manners, God, respect,
make your bed like it's a lot on a person
and you know my grandmother, you know our mom's, mom's,
(29:57):
your husband could commit you like there was no language
around postpartum, Like we're only two generations away realizing we're
not crazy, but we are transforming into something much bigger.
And even in that transformation, the mother has to realize
(30:17):
it's okay to grow well.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
You know. It's also a great conversation to have about
the maternity politics, because the only reason why I postpartum
here is such a big deal is because women are
put in unfathomable situations having had a baby and having
to go back.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
To work right at home.
Speaker 6 (30:36):
In Germany, you have a year a year aid maternity
for both father and mother, and the woman can actually
stay at home for three years if she wants to,
one of which is going to be paid for to
care for this new baby. So when you tackle postpartum
in that kind of environment, it's not as severe as
when you put a woman into a situation where now
(30:58):
she has to support feed baby and.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Go to work and go to work and deal with
real life again.
Speaker 6 (31:05):
So postpartum becomes a huge deal here in this country
because we have put women into unacceptable situations where it's
now detrimental to their own health, to the health of
the child, and to the dynamic of the entire family.
Right when you're talking about families breaking up, couples breaking up,
(31:27):
all those factors play into that. So you can't just
isolate the topic and talk about postpartum. You have to
put it in the right frame of context. And the
right frame of context, unfortunately, is maternity politics. And it's
really our job as the greatest country in the world,
to make sure that our women are taken care of
(31:50):
and therefore our children are taken care of, and we're
not doing it.
Speaker 5 (31:53):
Therefore, the citizens that are coming right behind us m
like these babies are about to be the new leaders,
the new politicians, the new doctors, like create the first
you know, uh, formative years as base and solid as possible,
you know, And it's just common sense. I couldn't believe.
(32:15):
I met women in Germany and France and all these places.
They were like, yeah, I'm going to go back to
my job in eight months.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
And when they go to childcare because they know that
they're dealing with still a one year old, then your
childcare is added.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
To your check yeah, oh my goodness.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Or your eye or your job has a section where
the one year olds are. Yeah, they know that they're
creating better employees and their future.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Employees absolutely and encouraging a family and encouraging those kinds
of things because you can do it.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You can do it.
Speaker 5 (32:54):
It's forward thinking.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Yeah, it really is. It's looking forward. I love that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I think about postpartum for us here beside those factors
that you talk about, but even just the mother not
really getting that follow up checkups.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
See, we look, we have the baby right, and.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
There's what you got to go back in a week,
We got to go back in two weeks, we gotta
go back in six weeks. You know, we're there all
the time making sure they're getting all of their little
vaccinations and things. But there's no checkup like that for
moms here. But I know that that in Europe there are,
and they like literally do check ups on your all
the parts that went through, all the parts that went
(33:34):
through the trauma. And I feel like that is just
such a missing piece here beside all of the other
things that you obviously well you.
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Know, when you focus and you you you make human
beings the priority. All those things are just logic. You know,
it doesn't take a scientist to figure out that all
those things are connected.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Yeah, but if.
Speaker 6 (33:56):
You make you know, corporate bottom lines the priority, then
those all those things fallow by the wayside. So then
talking about how kids are our future is just fake
because it's not true. The way we live here, it's
not true that kids are a priority. It's not Look
at the school system, look at a healthcare system.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
It's just not. So we have to be honest about that, right.
We live in a country that does not prioritize people.
Speaker 6 (34:23):
People come second or third on the list, right, and
we have to be very honest about that because it's
the truth. And no matter how you slice it or
dice it' that's just how it is. When you going
to school and you kill twelve kids and the gun
laws don't change, that says something. Yeah, we kids are
not priority. Human lives are not party. Priority is making
(34:47):
sure that the bottom line of those big fortune of
und companies are intact and the profits are intact, and
that's the priority. So that's I guess, Yes, okay, but
you got to be honest about it. Yeah, you got
to be honest about it. So we have to deal
with all those things in the right context.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
And maybe that started with the stress in the home,
not being able to stay home.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
You know that you have to think about that.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
It's there with the right piece for the mother, the
right peace for the father, the right care for the child,
you know, and the environment in those formative years. It's
very real. There's a lot to do.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But I would in November, yeah, yeah, but you.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Can't change the system tomorrow. But if any women are
listening to this, I would say, don't make that doctor
visit a pit stop. You're about to have whatever the
new American time is twenty two seventeen minutes per patient
(36:04):
or whatever it is, twenty six, I don't know, there's
an actual number that you try to get to keep
the appointment succinct. Have your three questions, even if you
don't even think about them except when you need to
like deal with something, be like I'm coughing, something's going
on down there, and have severe headaches all the time.
(36:28):
Your doctor is so equipped and ready for that question.
But if you go in there and treat her that
moment as just as dismissible, then she's just going to
do the or he's going to do the protocol. But
you are allowed to go in there and say my
breasts feel weird, my feet swell at night, but I'm
so healthy or you know, I can't see that's not
(36:52):
my eyes are going bad. That might be sugar.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, yeah, and you know that's fun.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I think through there's a common thread through a lot
of these podcasts that we've been doing, and it's about
your advocacy. Right.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
You have to advocate for yourself. Yeah, you really have to.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
And if that, if that's very hard for you, it's
bring someone with you, Yeah, who can sit there and
advocate alongside you.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
It doesn't have to be your spouse. Maybe it's your
best friend, maybe it's.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Your mom, but it's someone that can hear it through
a different, you know, mindset, because you're hearing things you
want to hear maybe sometimes and somebody else that can
sit there with you and say, well, then what about
this is.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
What your obgyn might be a parent.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Too, Yeah, yeah, exactly, and.
Speaker 5 (37:38):
Might say, you know, I my skin itched severely too,
and I always have a reaction to one of the
vitamins I was taking, And bring your vitamins next time,
let me see what you're taking. Like, you start to
develop that relationship, but sometimes you have to start.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
It, yep. And if it's not if it's not a fit, right,
if your doctor is not a fit for you.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
But if they're not responsive, yeah, there may be somebody
else in the practice or somebody else nearby.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Yeah, well, let's talk about I want to talk about
about your kids.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
So you've obviously navigated and you still.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Are wanting to open up. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I have a question for your hours. We're gonna talk
more about your kids. You have navigated teenage years. I
know how hard that is because I've got three. I
had three at one point in teenageyeers, I understand you
have done some really cool stuff alongside your kids, like
incorporating them through boris your your fitness ap during the pandemic,
(38:36):
and like, as crazy as I can't, I can't even
how did you do this? And I need to know
your secrets. But like keeping the kids off their cell
phones when you're in the car, Tell me your secrets,
tell me your ways.
Speaker 5 (38:48):
How well they didn't even have cell phones too.
Speaker 6 (38:50):
We don't start the whole cell phone thing until they
were fourteen, So we beautiful Toy was.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Twelve, well before we started twelve okay, okay, we.
Speaker 6 (38:59):
Had out for a long time because we knew how
detrimental it was to their development, and we want to
make sure that they grow up without the addiction and
without being dependent on those devices. And look, as parents,
everybody can relate. We're always exhausted, we always have fifteen
jobs to do, and then it's much easier to put
(39:23):
an iPad in front of you a six year old
so he can give you some peace of mind for
a second.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
Totally, I totally understand that it's legit because.
Speaker 5 (39:31):
If you take their phones away, you have to engage
with them.
Speaker 6 (39:34):
Yes, but if you don't, if you choose to engage
with the child instead, you play, you take them outside.
You're setting a foundation, especially in the first six years
of their life. You're coding their subconscious mind where now
for the rest of their lives they're not dependent on
those devices, and they're actually developing a sense of imagination,
(39:57):
fantasy of self really and and I think we did that,
and we did a good job at that. We traveled
with the kids, We showed them things. I mean, we
took the kids, speaking of pandemic, we took the kids
to to what was it the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Two years ago.
Speaker 6 (40:17):
We went on a road trip during the pandemic and
got out, got out the house.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
And it does a lot for.
Speaker 6 (40:26):
Not just the family dynamic, but also for the kids
everybody individually.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
You know, showed them that there's a whole world out there.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Don't keep them cooped up in those four walls and
and with their with their TV. That kids never had
a TV in their room until to this day, never
and we reduced all of them no video games. We
we look, we took them outside and we were exhausted,
and we still took them outside and just walked and
and they played and they climbed street.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
You were really good about let's go for a bike ride. Yeah,
we just.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
Look, we just we just made that extra effort. And
I think, and I'm one hundred percent sure that the
reason why they are who they are today is because
we made that extra effort. And no parents are out
there they're saying, well, you know, I have two jobs. Yes,
I get it. We work and we have to multi
(41:27):
task and manage different things all the time. But it
is worth it. And I'm not talking about sending them
with a nanny. I'm I'm talking about we went out
and did stuff with the kids, even when I came
home from work and I was dead tired.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
You got a little three year old bouncing up and down.
What are you going to do? Put him in front
of a TV or take him outside? Let's go I
would always say, let's go on adventure. What's going on
an adventure?
Speaker 7 (41:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (41:56):
I want to also jump in because sometimes you don't
live place where you can go outside, or you know,
it is late and so, and I'm not I wasn't
really the person that would like, let's go for a
run kids, so I I mean, you know, Sophie helped
me cook dinner.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Let's let's.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Like I had to include them in my projects. We
made really good creating projects for Them's make the bed here,
put these clothes in the dryer, Let's fold these, Let's
wash your sneakers. Let me teach you how to bake
a cake, that cake that we love. Can you okay,
get the flour, get the sifter. It was like I
was more practical life, and so the phones wouldn't be
(42:41):
the primary photo.
Speaker 6 (42:43):
Dance off so we would have dance. The girls would
chore choreograph dance dance stuff, and we have we still
have video as hilarious.
Speaker 5 (42:56):
That the world will.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Come on play, Nicholas, go grab your grab your tuba.
What was he playing?
Speaker 5 (43:06):
He was playing the saxophone.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
No, the trumpet, the trumpet, Go grab your trumpet. And
it was terrible.
Speaker 5 (43:11):
It was bigger, it was bigger than him and.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
It sounded so terrible. And we encouraged him to play,
and he would play.
Speaker 6 (43:19):
It would like you just have to put the extra
You don't have to have to put on the extra effort.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
I know it's exhausting, but it's so work.
Speaker 6 (43:27):
When I see these three year olds on their iPads,
the whole family on the it, it makes me cringe
because I know what's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
You know, three, four, five, ten years down the line.
Speaker 6 (43:39):
You know, you completely isolated from your family members, you're
not social, you're in your own, cooped up world. You
develop all these weird, you know, mental health issues because
you're completely addicted to this device and and what it
gives you.
Speaker 4 (43:57):
It's it's terrible.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
It's scary, it really is.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
And then you factor in what the other kids are doing,
you know, and how they interact with within each other,
and that's like a whole nother topic.
Speaker 5 (44:08):
Yeah, I wouldn't stress, and don't you know I don't
want anyone to stress out because the other fourteen hours
a day your kids away from you. Yeah, their friends
are going to be in the phone, they're going to
be looking at TikTok and yeah maybe cool. But I
just the time we have with them right as parents
is your time, and there's a way to sprinkle in
(44:31):
just some freshness into their brain.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Really, you're right, You're absolutely right. Uh, we have a
sign in our kitchen. We know our house is kind
of small, so our kitchen is like the biggest area
in our house.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
It's got a big area in the middle.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I have a sign and then that says this kitchen
is for dancing, and that's so and it's cool. I
was like, oh my gosh, this was like the perfect
sign ever, because literally this is where we dance. Like I'll,
you know, Alexa put this on or whatever and we'll
just be in the and it's like random dancing that
has to happen. And it's those moments though, it's those
(45:04):
it's those moments that they create those bonds. It's those
moments that they create those memories. Right, I mean, I know,
you know, we've all seen inside out. I really feel
like it's like that, you know, these are creating these
core memories. All of the things are related to each other,
and it's about the interaction and the human interaction. So
(45:24):
it's so wonderful to see you. I mean, I've been
looking through your your social media and stuff. It seems
like you have such a very beautiful bond with your kids,
and I know that it had to have started like that,
So wonderful kudos do you both. Let's talk really quickly.
I know we're going a little long, but about preventative visits.
So a lot I know a lot of people have
(45:46):
been putting those things off even since the pandemic, and
I'm I'm guilty. I literally just took the kids back
to the dentisis here and I was like, I we
haven't gone. We just have those six months, you know,
every six months we were going, we were going, pandemic
came and just like everything went out the window. What
has worked for your family to prioritize those type of things.
I know they're older now and I know maybe with
(46:09):
you know, your daughter, you probably can't go to all
of her visits any longer since she's maybe aged out.
Speaker 5 (46:14):
But of them, I've kind of fallen off with the
calendar for that because all four of us are in
so many different places. But she's really on top of
her schedule.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Yeah, great, which is wonderful.
Speaker 6 (46:29):
I think it's teaching them at an early age that
you're responsible for your well being, whether it's physical, spiritual,
and mental, and there's things that you can do, and
there's help you can get, and you have to stay
on top of that, whether it's going to a dentist
or therapy or or you know, or regular general practitioner visits.
(46:54):
It's it's like anything else. You know, we model for
them what that looks like at an early age, so
when we do it, it becomes a normal to them,
and then they do it. You can't preach, you have
to do it. You know, the whole thing about don't
do as I you know, as I do say, do
(47:17):
as I say.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
It doesn't work. You just have to. You have to
do it.
Speaker 6 (47:21):
And Sophie does it because mommy does it right, and
Mommy did it.
Speaker 4 (47:27):
And no, Sophie does it.
Speaker 6 (47:27):
So's it's just one of those teaching things that you
have to include in when you raise your kids.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Is that's the example, mm hmm, absolutely, I know we
touched a little bit about it, just about the mental
health side of things, especially when we're talking about blood
pressure and really taking moments for yourself. How have you
been able to do that for yourself separately? I know,
since you work in different places sometimes, do you have
(47:55):
a set I don't know, like a pattern that you
that you do wake up, I do five minutes of
mindfulness or what are your days look like with your
mental health?
Speaker 4 (48:04):
Yeah, same thing.
Speaker 6 (48:05):
It's a routine and we do it individually, and when
we're together, we do it together.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
You know.
Speaker 6 (48:10):
First thing, like I have to deal with myself. I
don't touch my phone for an hour after I wake up,
So I spend time first with meditation, prayer, and then
I work out and it's.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
Me time again. When I'm with Nicole, we do it together.
Speaker 6 (48:27):
And that's also something we've taught to kids, and it's
a journey that they have.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
To sort of explore on their own right.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Everybody has their own relationship with being a spiritual being,
whether you believe in God or the universe, or however
you approach that. The most important thing about that is
that you understand that there's a source of power that
you can connect with whether you call it light or
(48:57):
God ornot, that you have to spend some time connecting
to that hour every day and then feeling the effects
of that and understanding that it's a true it's a
real thing, and it's something that can help you stay grounded.
It's something that can help you reduce stress. And so
(49:22):
mindfulness is a real thing. Again, as parents, we model
that behavior and we introduced those routines, those patterns, those
those habits into our kids' lives. And I knew that
it worked when I overheard my six year old son
teach it to his friend.
Speaker 4 (49:41):
That's when That's when I knew it worked.
Speaker 6 (49:44):
When Nicholas taught his friend, Hey, how to how to visualize?
And yeah, it's I think it's important for them, and
I think our kids have sort of started building their
own way around those sort of paradigms.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, and how about you, Nicole, I mean, how are
you do you? What are you doing right now to
keep on top of your mental health?
Speaker 5 (50:12):
Well, I pray my journal and I stopped making prayer
and meditation precious, meaning if I close my laptop right now,
I might just stay sitting here and take time to
breathe instead of running off to the next thing and
(50:35):
saying thank you, Like I have so many things pulling
that I like to be grateful for the moment, you know,
and though and that's cumulative. It stacks on top of
each other, and like by the end of the day,
I will have like an amazing day. And if I don't,
I'm prepared for it, you know. And I don't know,
(50:59):
I just still making it precious and putting just like
working out, just like do it where you are, you know,
and you don't need a bunch of stuff to to
to give thanks and be grateful and connect with God,
you know. So that's how I do it. It's practical life,
it's not precious.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
That's a great tip.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I think that's a wonderful tip because you know what
you do put that, you put that on your that
boundary in your own head.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Right.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, I can only do this when I'm at home,
sitting on my couch where I'm calm, and no, you
can do that anywhere.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
You really can do that anywhere.
Speaker 5 (51:38):
Yeah, yeah, and uh, and you can get more invested
in it when you realize like it's you know, sometimes
people say my God is a jealous God or whatever,
and I never really understood that. But when Boris talks
about the force of God and the light of God,
like the minute you pay attention to the thing that's
(51:59):
beating your heart, you could almost feel it be like, yes,
thank you, I'm here. But I mean I can you
can feel that the attention you give to your heartbeat
and to your breath just loves it. It shows up
for you, you know, when you give peace in your mind,
attention is like, yes, I got you. But if you
(52:23):
ignore it and ignore it and ignore it and ignore it,
it's like, oh, she don't she doesn't want joy. I'm
gonna just say it.
Speaker 2 (52:32):
And it's miraculous and I don't want to be on
a on a rock right now, and of you know, but.
Speaker 5 (52:41):
It's it's pretty life changing. And the and the minute
I started thinking that way, it's my life just kept growing.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
Yeah, Oh I like that.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I I think, uh, A lot of times I talk
for a living and I'm on the radio and I'm
on multiple shows and I'm to go, go, go, go go,
and I have to talk and talk and talk, and
sometimes I patch myself without breath.
Speaker 5 (53:07):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
You know where I'm I I can hear it, I
can hear it. I can hear it. I can hear it, and.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
I'm like, I need to take a second, and I
need to breathe through this moment because even though I
don't think anything's bothering me, I can hear it.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Like when I play something back and I'm like, whoa,
who is that? Who is that?
Speaker 2 (53:29):
She is not breathing but it's But I feel like
that's that mindfulness moment within yourself when you realize I
do need to pay attention to myself, to listen to myself,
to realize I don't think I've taken a deep breath
in hours, hours, And those are those big cleansing.
Speaker 1 (53:48):
Everything feels better breath right, yeah, And that is that's
you finding Oh yeah, yeah, you're there. See I paid
attention to you. I'm good, I'm good, I'm back.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
Those are those good moments. Oh you guys have been
such a joy.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Thank you so much. Before we wrap up, I just
I want to ask. I know there's been so many
great conversations, pieces of nuggets of knowledge and stuff going
on here, But what are the three biggest takeaways you
hope that our listeners get from this conversation today.
Speaker 6 (54:22):
I think there's one major one is that you have
the power to change your life. And whether that's your
health or your relationships or whatever it is, you are
in charge of doing that. When people say I want
my life to change, it's really about you making those
(54:44):
changes for yourself and that you can start immediately. You
don't have to wait for something to happen. You know,
people always procrastinate and they speak so much power into
exterial things, exterior things. M h, it's that happens, then
(55:05):
something will change if that happens. No, it's really about
you and which is a great power to have knowing
that you can single handly change your life. Every single
day when you wake up, there's a new opportunity. And
I would like people to get that to because a takeaway.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Yeah you have the power.
Speaker 2 (55:27):
Well, thank you so much, and thank you for all
you've done for ie HP or advocacy within the community
and beyond.
Speaker 1 (55:33):
It has not gone unnoticed.
Speaker 2 (55:35):
We've talked about having you guys on the show for
a long time, so we were so excited that you
guys were able to be here.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
So for having us, thank you. Yes, I hope.
Speaker 6 (55:43):
So.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
I feel like there's so many more avenues we can
go down, so you guys have a wonderful day. I
can't wait to hear all about I can't wait to
look at your social media and see you're together.
Speaker 3 (55:55):
I know, yay dude.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
You both take care and thank you so so very
much for joining me.
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