December 28, 2023 • 32 mins
Jaye Rodenbush and Bob Whedbee from Recovery Centers of America's Alumni Association share their expertise on the many gifts and challenges that can present in early recovery. Jaye and Bob discuss ways to ensure success in early recovery and the many gifts the journey to recovery can provide. Host Loraine Ballard Morrill, Tony Luke and RCA industry-leading clinical expert, Dr. Pete Vernig continue to destigmatize the disease of addiction while emphasizing the importance of taking action in early recovery.
This podcast episode and others are available to watch in video format here www.RCARecovery360.com
Any views or comments provided by individuals other than RCA employees are their own and do not represent the official views of Recovery Centers of America.
***Any views or comments provided by individuals other than RCA employees are their own and do not represent the official views of Recovery Centers of America.
This podcast episode and others are available to watch in video format here www.RCARecovery360.com
Any views or comments provided by individuals other than RCA employees are their own and do not represent the official views of Recovery Centers of America.
***Any views or comments provided by individuals other than RCA employees are their own and do not represent the official views of Recovery Centers of America.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Hello, and welcome to Recovery threesixty, the podcast dedicated to exploring the
pathways to treatment and recovery, broughtto you by Recovery Centers of America.
I'm Lorraine Ballard Morrel, director ofNews and Community Affairs for iHeartMedia Philadelphia,
and I am joined by Tony LukeJunior. Hey, Tony, Hi,
Loraine. How's it going on thisjourney towards better understanding the world of healing
(00:28):
and the many ways individuals find theirway to recovery? Another great episode,
I feel it. So today we'rejoined by Jay Ruddenbush, Director of Alumni
Engagement, Bob Webby, Senior AlumniCoordinator, and in Recovery Pete Vernick,
Vice President of Mental Health Services,all from Recovery Centers of America. Today,
we're going to be talking about thoseearly days of recovery, the many
(00:50):
ways in which individuals navigate the verytough beginning process of recovery. The path
to recovery does not end when youleave treatment, So I wonder if you
can talk about life after treatment.You know, you've gotten into your treatment
and everything's going great, but that'snot where it ends. Right, Sure,
(01:11):
I can go ahead, you know, I think at RCA it's really
important for us. We don't justsay thanks for coming, you did thirty
days or twenty you know, howeverlong your treatment says, and wish them
well. But we really want tobe that lifeline, and especially in that
first year. I think that's soimportant. So we just create resources and
(01:33):
education not only for the alump,but for their family and their loved ones,
so it becomes that lifeline and thatconnection to the recovery community. He
so much of recovery as a processof relearning, so people relearning how to
socialize, relearning how to have fun, relearning how to relax and do all
of these things substance free. Soyou know, for many people who get
(01:56):
into recovery, that is one ofthe main tasks of that first year of
recovery early on is being able tore establish and in some cases established for
the first time, these healthy behaviors, these activities in sobriety with a group
of others who are either like mindedor who are going to be supportive of
their continued sobriety And Bob, whatare your thoughts on that as well?
(02:19):
I think you're all recovery is themost important time in a person's growth.
I believe it's a rebirth or youknow, recalibration of life, change a
perspective. I think that's really reallyimportant, and just to be open minded
to the idea that change is somethingthat we want to embrace, the idea
that this recovery journey I'm on issomething I want to be on for a
lifetime and be excited about the growthinherent in that and be able to,
(02:44):
you know, just work through thesituations that I've had in my life that
maybe have held me back, makemy peace with them, come to terms
with it, and then move forwardin a positive fashion. Bob and Jay,
can you please tell us about yourfirst year of recovering. What were
some of the physical and physiological challengesyou faced in the early stages of recovery
(03:07):
and how well did you deal withThat's that's a great question. So physically
it was actually I gained a lotof weight, to be honest with you,
and sleep was tough. You know, my body had been used to
chemicals for so long. That's acessation of that was really there was a
transition phase, for lack of abetter word of that, and then physiologically
(03:29):
I suffered from a lot of guiltand you know, psychologically a lot of
guilt association associated with some of thethings I had done. But I was
truly blessed to have a great sponsor. I met my sponsor while I was
still in treatment. He came inthere and it helped me out. And
I guess for me, the ideathat I sometimes went you know, kicking
and screaming, but I ultimately kindof did what he had asked me to
(03:50):
do. Also connected to a fellowshipof like minded individuals. The relatability of
peer to peer communication is so powerfuland any problem that we're having, so
the idea that I don't have todo this my own, don't isolate no
more, and just you know,get out there and learn the process.
It's you know, to me,recovery is not about how much I know?
(04:12):
Is what am I trying to accomplisheach and every day. So for
me, it was about setting upnew coping skills and a new structure in
my life that allowed me to stayin line with what my goals were.
That first year of sobriety is socritical, right, how do you support
create support systems like family and peersupport? How do they contribute to success
(04:33):
in those early days of recovery.Well, we keep coming back to family,
and I think that that's no coincidencehow important the family is in getting
help, in the effects that ithas on the family, and also in
recovery. So being able to havesomebody to turn to, having somebody who
the individual is able to reach outto talk to, somebody there to listen,
(04:55):
and oftentimes these are family members.They can be others, friends,
other loved ones, but building thatstrong community of support is one of the
critical elements of early being early onin treatment and in recovery during that first
year, so that somebody doesn't haveto go it alone. There's a lot
of supports when somebody's in an inpatientprogram twenty four hours a day, seven
(05:16):
days a week, but once somebodyleaves that program and they start to go
back to their life, having peoplethey can call, that they can talk
to, who are going to bethere for them is so critical. I
think that's very much key. It'syour first year of sobriety, but it's
also a year of first so it'sgoing to be your first Thanksgiving sober,
your first Christmas sober, your firstNew Year's and it's also your family's first
(05:42):
year of having you at the tablesober, and they need to know is
it do we serve our typical beveragesat the holidays, And so a lot
of education goes into this and creatingan opportunity for families to get together.
And that's what we do at theAlumni Association is we host about one hundred
(06:03):
sober events and those are in agiven year, and those are open to
family, they're open to the community. So you can come maybe to our
facilities or to a fun place whereyou can just meet other families who are
going through what you're going through,meet other couples, see people with their
children and how they're talking to theirfamilies about mom or dad getting well,
(06:26):
and it's a powerful, really powerfulgroup of individuals. Jay, I think
you bring such an important message therein that when someone is in recovery,
family and friends don't often know theright words. I know that in my
experience. I had a friend orhave a friend who's in recovery for alcohol
(06:46):
use and I brought in she washaving a little get together, and I
brought in a case of beer andthen I just slapped my forehead and I
said, what was I thinking,but it's not. No one told me
what you do? How do youact in a situation like that where you
really want to be supportive, butyou have to really know what are the
(07:08):
things that are acceptable what are not? I mean, in her case,
she said, no worries. Youknow everyone else can have beer. That's
fine. You shouldn't feel restricted aboutwhat you can do around me. But
maybe for some other people that wouldn'tbe exactly appropriate. So talking to the
family, preparing them to have thewords to say or the actions to commit
(07:30):
to this sounds like it's really critical, absolutely, and just being able to
ask the questions, what do youneed? Am coming to your house?
What can we do to support you? And just being open about the conversations.
I think that's part of reducing thestigma that has gone along with this
disease, is just being willing tosay how can I help? And I
(07:54):
think that's powerful in recovery when peopleare just willing to say how can I
help, and then the individual inrecovery can say, yeah, this is
exactly what I need to see.It's communication is very important because there is
a there is a line that youhave to be cognizant of. When you're
going to a party, you're goingto get together with someone that you know
is in recovery. The idea ofgoing out of your way to make sure
(08:18):
you're not bringing anything of an alcoholicnature can also have an alternate effect on
signaling them out and making them feelthat they're the reason that no one can
enjoy themselves because of what I'm doing, you know. So it's critical communication
(08:39):
because if it is the very beginningof recovery and there is an event like
that, then that individual has todecide, am I do I want to
go to this event? Because younever want to feel that you're the reason
that no one is acting the waythey would at an event because no one
wants to. And and just ona personal level, like we had talked
(09:03):
about before, that everyone self medicatesin their own particular way. Now I
know, for me, I goto events and we have parties, you
know. And my girl does thisall the time for me because she's helping
me. My means of self medicationthrough the loss of my son, through
the every tragy I've been through isthrough food that is my self medicating.
(09:28):
And we'll go to an event andor we'll have a party and they'll be
everything that I love. And thefood I love more than any other food
on the planet is pizza. Itis my kryptonite. It is and I
know that when a party is overand there's all my favorite pizza and there's
breads and I love it, mygirl will make a point at the end
(09:50):
of the party to go, hey, everyone grab a bag, and everyone's
taking food home, and I'm sittingin at your going, no, they're
not taking the pizza home. No, they're not taking the bread home.
And she goes, they are takingthe bread home, and they are taking
the pizza home because I cannot trustyou to not wake up at five in
the morning and raid the refrigerator andeat an entire pizzas. So we have
(10:15):
to know what our limitations are.We have to know where our strength and
our weaknesses are. Like I saidbefore, but you don't want to alienate
make someone feel that you're alienating them, and everyone's looking at them and going,
well, the reason I can't havea beer is because so and so
is here. So it's a greatquestion, but it's a fine line and
(10:35):
it needs to be communicated on howthat needs to be handed. If I
may as well communication is like Ineeded to learn a lot of how I
communicated across the board and recognize thatas well. And the phraseology, the
body language, the subtle ways thatI communicate the individuals in my life and
(10:56):
my family is so important. Againfor me, I had to look it
is like, Okay, I haveto make these changes, but this is
going to make me a better person. I'm going to be able to do
more. I'm gonna be able tocommunicate better, you know, because it
is a family disease, I'm blessedto be able to do family support groups
and family orientation for our patients atthe Lighthouse, and I talk to them
all the time about you know,your loved ones are creating a structure of
(11:20):
peer to peer support and medical andspiritual help, and then can we create
the same thing for you. Youknow, we have different twelve step fellowships
for the loved ones, and thenwe are blessed to be able to have
a really robust family program that wantsto say, hey, do you have
any questions? You know what's goingon and connect them to each other just
like we do. And you knowthat's the exciting part of it, because
(11:41):
you're right the families don't know,you know, they're stepping on toes.
How do I communicate? And alot of that is sitting down, just
like you're saying, and creating anew structure that we can go about communicating
through. Boundaries are really really important. What do they look like? You
know, that's tough early, forsure, that's tough early. But if
it's authentic communication, if it's real, authentic communication, it'll be felt in
(12:03):
her. Just to follow up,Bob, that first those first days,
weeks, months, year, you'regoing to be encountering lots of triggers.
As Tony was talking about, he'sfigured out a strategy for not falling into
the trigger of eating unlimited pizza.Right, So for you, what was
(12:26):
it? What did you do tohandle those triggers that inevitably you would encounter.
That's a great question. I beganto recognize these feelings and emotions I
had as triggers. Like you canhear the word triggers, well, what
does that really mean? So Ibegan to recognize that, you know,
most of my stuff was based uponfear control some of these issues. You
(12:46):
know. So I also, likeI shared before, I had gained some
weight because I was eating more,you know, and then to tell myself,
Okay, well it's a lot betterthan what you were doing before,
and you're learning and growing and movingforward and you're going to get better.
But for me, it's expressing howI feel to my peers and to people
that are helping me, so thatI can have a better understanding. And
(13:09):
so like, I may have thisthing kept inside me that I think that
I'm the only one in the worldis suffering from this, and yet other
people are going through the same problem, you know, And so in a
lot of ways, you systematically beginthe process of reevaluating how you think and
what it means to you. Now, to me today, triggers and problems
are opportunities for growth, you know. And to where for a long time
(13:30):
it was fear but I had torecognize that I was a person that was
fearful. I had been fearful inmy whole life. You know, I'm
a big guy and all that,and I say, hey, you know,
these are some of the things Istruggle with, and that's okay,
because I'm a human being. Youknow. Again, I'm excited about the
process. I'm not saying every daywas great, but I was excited about
the process. And here's the thing, like before, is once you get
(13:50):
going on that motivation and you're surroundyourself with people that are heading in the
right direction you and you commit andare willing to do this, it's just
kind of happens. You don't haveto think about as a matter of fact.
The fact of the matter is Iused to try to plan my day
every day. Now I get myselfright in the morning through prayer and meditation,
so I let the day come tome and I just handle the day.
(14:13):
So instead of me trying to,you know, dictate everything and control
everything, and then that will goout off the rails, I'm just like,
I'm going to get myself quiet,I'm going to get myself intentional about
what I'm trying to accomplish that day, and then I go out and I
freely live that day. So it'samazing. And he said that because it
literally is leading into a statement thatI wanted to make prior to when he
(14:35):
spoke, you have to worry aboutone of the biggest pitfalls that I believe
people fall into is you have tobe conscious that you cannot create the perfect
scenario in this life. And whatwe try to do in helping people is
to remove all of these triggers andto remove all of these things, and
(14:56):
then people are like, Okay,I can function here. Well, you're
not functioning because this is not thereal world. This is not reality you
need and honestly you need to throwsomeone into a pit. But you need
to do exactly what he said,which is to get right with yourself and
realize that the world is not goingto change its behavior for you. That
(15:20):
you have to be able to controlyour own behavior to function in the world,
and getting right with yourself and preparingyourself knowing that there are absolutely going
to be all of these triggers thatare going to come through every single day,
and you don't live in a controlledenvironment, so you have to learn.
(15:41):
I love when you said, Imean, I love the fact that
you said that those triggers should notbe looked at as something to be feared
and something to be avoided, butsomething to grow from. And when you
can get the mentality of knowing thatthat trigger is something that I'm going to
learn to deal with, push through, not go around, because that's the
(16:04):
whole idea of self medicating is goingaround. But to recognize that trigger and
go I Am going to find away where I can go through that trigger
and deal with that trigger, becausethat is that is real life, that
was so well set. Make yousaid it, right, Tony, Make
my peace with who I am asa human being, you know, And
(16:25):
then I begin to feel better aboutmyself, and then I you know,
there's really nothing that can stop me, you know. So if I'm not
worried about the exterior, as youhad shared, right, I'm not worried
about the exterior. I'm just goingto focus on me and allow and allow
that, like you said, thosefeelings and emotions to flow through. They're
gonna come. They're gonna and I, like you said, I can't run
from them in my mind. Iknow it might sound crazy, but I
(16:47):
had to make my piece and there'sgonna be things that are going to in
my head that may not feel sogood at times, but I understand that
it's going to be okay, youknow what I mean. And and the
more I've got to know them,they've become friends. Do you hear people
say the best thing about that firstyear in recovery is you get to experience
all these feelings and emotions and thenon the flip side, they'll say,
the worst thing about that first yearand recovery is you get all these feelings
(17:11):
and emotions. And I think that'swhat you're speaking to is learning, is
learning what those things feel like becauseyou've been numb for so long. Yeah,
I love that. I love that. Triggers or opportunities, Pete,
what is the how of recovery?Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.
What a great way of putting it. The how of recovery? So the
(17:33):
how a recovery, it's a greatway of sort of summarizing some of the
principles that are really important in earlyrecovery. So first of all, the
ability to direct and honest with oneself, with the people around oneself, be
honest about you know what some ofthese triggers are going to be, what's
going to be difficult, what's notgoing to be easy, because you know,
recovery is not easy, and earlyrecovery is especially not easy. Open
(17:56):
mindedness being open to new things.For many people in early recovery, a
lot of what they're doing is new. So what Jay had said, the
new feelings that somebody's experiencing, beingwilling to approach that and understanding that you
know, sometimes that's going to bewonderful, and sometimes that's not going to
be wonderful. Sometimes that's going tobe difficult, and that's okay. And
(18:18):
the willingness to try new things.So the willingness to try, you know,
I'm going to try having fun orsocializing or you know, something simple
as watching a game that maybe somebodyalways used to do, under the influence
to try that in a different way. Yeah, which was going to lead
to a question, Bob. Foryou. It's weird because a lot of
(18:41):
these questions are just being answered justin the realm of the conversation. But
were there any particular key lifestyle changesand habits healthy habits that you personally developed
in that first shear of recovery thatyou think might be something that other people
(19:03):
can relate to to share with that. Sure, one of the first things
was self care, which is exercise. I began to exercise. I began
to take time out during the dayfor quiet time to get myself you know,
where I needed to be. Beganto develop. As I said,
I had gained some weight. Sotowards the end of the year, I
began to develop a diet that workedfor me, and some of these things
(19:26):
that really helped me create structure inmy life. I had no structure in
my life in my active use.And for me, a lot of it
was when my kids went away tocollege. They were what held me,
help me together, if that makesany sense. And so when they were
going it was like, you know, like all hell broke loose. So
it was just again, just okay, let me get out there, let
(19:48):
me start exercise. And I neverreally did that before I began riding a
bike. I think mindfulness is reallyreally important so to be able. I
always had loved nature, reconnecting withthe things that I I loved before it
got too bad, Right, Ialways loved nature. So now I would
get out and put my earbuds onit and just go for a ride.
And I'm blessed to live down there, and you know, southern New Jersey
(20:11):
where there's tons of trails, youknow, and connection reconnecting. Right,
it's a disease of isolation. Andwhat we're trying to do as part of
the Alumni Association is again, letme go back a look. It's a
disease of disconnection. It's a diseaseof disconnection. So how do I what
is the cure connection? Then ifI if it's okay, honestly, open
minded and willingness. If I'm honest, open minded and willing I ask my
(20:34):
clients all the time, you know, am I being spiritual? Because they
are the spiritual axioms, you know. So if I'm honest, if I
come to a conversation with honesty,open minded and willingness, and you do
as well, we're going to havea spiritual conversation, We're going to have
a beautiful conversation. And that wasa spiritual experience that I just that's the
essence of a spiritual experience. SoI so many things, you know,
(20:56):
just looking at the way I useto live and saying to myself, okay,
everything's on the table. Now,everything's on the table. I had
a lot of preconceived, very hard, strong, preconceived notions about what I
thought as a human being that Idon't believe anymore. I had it about
people, if I'm honest with you, you know, and I realized that
(21:18):
I'm excluding so many different people inmy life and so many different experiences,
and so I was able to getout there and experience them, you know,
and like I said, go intothe fellowships, learning, meeting new
friends, you know what I mean, and helping other people. Yeah,
Bob, you talk about this diseaseis being a disease of isolation. And
Jay and Bob, you both areinvolved in the alumni space. And while
(21:42):
there's family, there's friends, butcertainly no one knows what you've been through
and can support you with that livedexperience and someone who's gone through it.
Right, absolutely, I think it'swhat we've tried to do is develop a
network of people to peer support.Because people don't just isolate from family from
(22:06):
themselves, but they isolate from feelings, They isolate from coworkers, they isolate
from hobbies, and so what wewant to do is just provide that connection.
So let's take a group of alumsand go bowling. Do you like
bowling? I don't know. I'vebeen numb for so long. I don't
know if I like that or not. But when I do it with a
group of people and I can havethat fellowship, maybe it is something that
(22:30):
really brings those positive emotions back intoyour life and you start saying, Okay,
I can have fun in recovery.This isn't going to be so many
times you're changing people, places andthings and you feel like, well,
this is going to be no funat all. We say, no,
there's a whole new world out there, and that's what the Alumni Association is
about, is just connecting you withpeople resources, fun in recovery, just
(22:53):
whole new experiences, right, Pete. I guess that's really a part of
the equation. We've talked about medicallyassisted treatments, we've talked about all the
behavioral stuff, we've talked about family, but it seems like this alumni network,
that space that can be embracing,is really a very key and important
(23:15):
part of the recovery process, youknow. I think fun in Recovery is
a great way to put it thatso much of what we do is so
heavy, it's so difficult at times, it's so emotionally fraud and there's a
reason for that. This is adifficult disease and treatment is not easy.
Recovery is not easy. But forpeople to have that outlet where they can
(23:37):
go bowling with people in recovery,or go to a party or get together
watch the game, do something funand do that with other members of the
fellowship who are in recovery that's soimportant, so critical, and not establishing
that and having it be something that'sjust heavy and that's just difficult. I
couldn't imagine living with only that,not having the fun times that we all
(24:00):
look forward to. I mean,that's whether you're in recovery or not.
These are the things that make upour lives. And you know, being
able to support people and re establishingand learning that and making that be the
fun part of recovery and the funpart of their life is so important.
We've actually made that part of theclinical process. It's part of our care
model. This isn't something just optional. This is what we really I mean,
(24:23):
obviously everything's optional, but it's somethingthat we prioritized exactly. And we
are going to have you meet thosealumni coordinators right when you walk into the
door those first few days of treatment, so you already have that established relationship.
So when Bob follows up with youafter you leave treatment, he's leveraging
(24:44):
an actual relationship and you've set inhis groups, You've gotten to know him.
You know he knows what he's talkingabout. He's been where you are,
and so's it becomes a very powerfulcontinuum of care a piece of that
continuum of care. Yeah, Bob, So what does it meant for you
to well, certainly be an alumni, but also to get the support of
(25:04):
alumni. It's fantastic because again I'mamongst like minded individuals, you know,
who are striving for the same thing, and you know. So now I'm
the alumni coordinator. I was amember of the alumni Association when I first
left RCA, I was actually apatient there. I get so much joy
and quite frankly, inspiration from thealumni Today. I'm, like Jay said,
(25:26):
I'm blessed to do a lot ofgroups on Zoom and in patient with
the patients, so I get toI'm inspired now. So and that's the
beauty of it. It's not likeI'm the leader and I have all this
knowledge and I'm teaching you like down. I like the power dynamic to be
equal, very very equal, youknow, and to be able to for
the patients when they're us with us. My greatest goal or want for them
(25:51):
is for them to be inspired abouttheir own personal recovery when they leave.
So when I get to meet them, get to talk to them, and
I love how you share that,Pete. It's not always about the book
and this and that. Sometimes it'sjust about conversations and I love talking to
them. Like I was saved,I was saying, I can't explain it,
especially the other way. Like Iwas saved, people took time out
of their lives to help me,and now I get to do the same
(26:14):
thing. I consider myself in acontinuum. It's just a long continuum.
I don't know the people way backhere. We're part of that continuum,
and I won't know the people thatwe're up here. But my role right
now, what I can do todayis do the next right thing the hope
to keep it going. So Tony, we all celebrate certain events in our
life. I mean, we celebrateour birthdays, we celebrate holidays. Is
(26:36):
there anything that you you personally doin particular to celebrate those milestones of your
recovery? Is there a thing thatyou do, a place that you go,
Is there anything you know? Iwould love to know what it is
you do to celebrate. Well,that actually brings me to my next question.
(26:56):
Bob and Tim, we all markspecial times in our lives with celebrations.
Because you had just mentioned celebrate,is there anything that you you personally
do in particular to celebrate those milestonesof your recovery. Thank you for asking
that. The first thing I didfor the first three years is give my
(27:17):
coin to my family members because it'sours. It's ours, you know,
so to my wife and to mychildren, and then to people after that
people in the network. We worryabout ego a lot in recovery, right,
we really worry about ego a lot. So, like I've done this,
so like what my sponsoring is stillmeet for a long time is when
so so I guess what I'm tryingto say is like, do I want
(27:37):
to go up and get that coin? Is it my ego? Right?
And he said, you're doing thatto show someone that it can be done.
It's not for you, it's toshow another person in that room that
they can do it. Ego isself serving. So if it's not self
serving, yeah, then ego doesn'tplay well no, no, no,
But the the whirling brain questions it, you know what I mean. But
(28:00):
yeah, but then, like Isaid, those coins represent me and my
family, sobriety not just mine.So they get they get to get them
and share with that too. Iwork at the facility that saved my life.
Can you imagine that walking into thebuilding every day that saved your life,
walking into the rooms where you wereonce a patient and running every once
(28:22):
in a while, I'm like,I can't believe I'm doing this, you
know, it's like this is amazing, you know, and it's not just
me, tons of staff members inRCA. We really want to be able
to get that peer to peer youknow, after of course, after a
certain amount of time, we don'twant to swim right into the mix.
But it is so powerful to say, hey, I what do you mean?
What are you talking about? I'mlike, well, I literally this
(28:42):
is the room I've had conversations withpeople sitting in the bed that was my
bed, you know, And that'scrazy, right, it's crazy to think,
but it's just beautiful you look backon it. And then at first
the first year seemed like it tookforever, but now they just kind of
go, you know what I mean, You're like, I guess to answer
your question is a lot of reflectionon where I came from all the day,
(29:06):
you know, on the day thatI've just that, I celebrate.
You know, it's been seven yearsnow, almost eight years, is how
far I've came and all the andhow grateful I am, you know,
I'm truly grateful to be alive manand then be a part of this like
as opposed to just like you know, wasting time, you know. So,
so for all of you, whatwould be the message to fellow people
(29:32):
in recovery? Are those that youknow that are in recovery for that first
year, Pete, what would beyour message? My message for people in
the first year of recovery would beto make as many connections as possible,
to not lose hope and to continuemoving forward. It's it's something that is
absolutely possible. I think that's somethingthat's been repeated here a lot. Is
(29:52):
the possibility of it and the factthat it is something that it's worth the
work. Alumni Association is built onthree pillars succeed, belong, and serve,
and I think that's really critical inthat first year. We want to
help you connect to a community thatcan help you succeed in your recovery,
(30:12):
belong to a vibrant social community oflike minded people, and then ultimately serve
others. So come back in ourfacilities, find a place to be of
service. We have a whole volunteerprogram that takes our alums and puts them
back into the facilities to serve andreally live out that twelfth step. And
so I would say, succeed,belong and serve others. Beautiful, Bob,
(30:37):
don't give up, you know,don't give up. You're worth it.
You know, you're truly worth it. Some of us are beaten down
someone that they think they're not worththe effort, you know, or they
think they can't. But you can, anybody can, you know, I
share it all the time. Islike it can just start right now,
you know, so kind of hangin there. Like we talked about before,
you're going to have the highs andlows. But that doesn't mean you're
(31:00):
defective. You're just human. It'sa beautiful thing. And like like we
said, connect if anything, connectthe people that can inspire you, Pete.
If people want more information about RecoveryCenters of America, where do they
go for more information? You cango to Recovery Centers of America dot com
or call us twenty four to sevenat eight four four two five recovery.
(31:25):
Thanks to all of you. JayRoddenbush, Director of Alumni Engagement, Bob,
we'd be senior alumni coordinator and aperson who's in recovery and Pete Vernick,
vice president of mental health Services forRecovery Centers of America. I'm Lorraine
Ballard Morrel. I'm Tony Luke Junior. Thanks for having me. Thank you
so much for being here. That'sour honor. A
Hello, and welcome to Recovery threesixty, the podcast dedicated to exploring the
pathways to treatment and recovery, broughtto you by Recovery Centers of America.
I'm Lorraine Ballard Morrel, director ofNews and Community Affairs for iHeartMedia Philadelphia,
and I am joined by Tony LukeJunior. Hey, Tony, Hi,
Loraine. How's it going on thisjourney towards better understanding the world of healing
(00:28):
and the many ways individuals find theirway to recovery? Another great episode,
I feel it. So today we'rejoined by Jay Ruddenbush, Director of Alumni
Engagement, Bob Webby, Senior AlumniCoordinator, and in Recovery Pete Vernick,
Vice President of Mental Health Services,all from Recovery Centers of America. Today,
we're going to be talking about thoseearly days of recovery, the many
(00:50):
ways in which individuals navigate the verytough beginning process of recovery. The path
to recovery does not end when youleave treatment, So I wonder if you
can talk about life after treatment.You know, you've gotten into your treatment
and everything's going great, but that'snot where it ends. Right, Sure,
(01:11):
I can go ahead, you know, I think at RCA it's really
important for us. We don't justsay thanks for coming, you did thirty
days or twenty you know, howeverlong your treatment says, and wish them
well. But we really want tobe that lifeline, and especially in that
first year. I think that's soimportant. So we just create resources and
(01:33):
education not only for the alump,but for their family and their loved ones,
so it becomes that lifeline and thatconnection to the recovery community. He
so much of recovery as a processof relearning, so people relearning how to
socialize, relearning how to have fun, relearning how to relax and do all
of these things substance free. Soyou know, for many people who get
(01:56):
into recovery, that is one ofthe main tasks of that first year of
recovery early on is being able tore establish and in some cases established for
the first time, these healthy behaviors, these activities in sobriety with a group
of others who are either like mindedor who are going to be supportive of
their continued sobriety And Bob, whatare your thoughts on that as well?
(02:19):
I think you're all recovery is themost important time in a person's growth.
I believe it's a rebirth or youknow, recalibration of life, change a
perspective. I think that's really reallyimportant, and just to be open minded
to the idea that change is somethingthat we want to embrace, the idea
that this recovery journey I'm on issomething I want to be on for a
lifetime and be excited about the growthinherent in that and be able to,
(02:44):
you know, just work through thesituations that I've had in my life that
maybe have held me back, makemy peace with them, come to terms
with it, and then move forwardin a positive fashion. Bob and Jay,
can you please tell us about yourfirst year of recovering. What were
some of the physical and physiological challengesyou faced in the early stages of recovery
(03:07):
and how well did you deal withThat's that's a great question. So physically
it was actually I gained a lotof weight, to be honest with you,
and sleep was tough. You know, my body had been used to
chemicals for so long. That's acessation of that was really there was a
transition phase, for lack of abetter word of that, and then physiologically
(03:29):
I suffered from a lot of guiltand you know, psychologically a lot of
guilt association associated with some of thethings I had done. But I was
truly blessed to have a great sponsor. I met my sponsor while I was
still in treatment. He came inthere and it helped me out. And
I guess for me, the ideathat I sometimes went you know, kicking
and screaming, but I ultimately kindof did what he had asked me to
(03:50):
do. Also connected to a fellowshipof like minded individuals. The relatability of
peer to peer communication is so powerfuland any problem that we're having, so
the idea that I don't have todo this my own, don't isolate no
more, and just you know,get out there and learn the process.
It's you know, to me,recovery is not about how much I know?
(04:12):
Is what am I trying to accomplisheach and every day. So for
me, it was about setting upnew coping skills and a new structure in
my life that allowed me to stayin line with what my goals were.
That first year of sobriety is socritical, right, how do you support
create support systems like family and peersupport? How do they contribute to success
(04:33):
in those early days of recovery.Well, we keep coming back to family,
and I think that that's no coincidencehow important the family is in getting
help, in the effects that ithas on the family, and also in
recovery. So being able to havesomebody to turn to, having somebody who
the individual is able to reach outto talk to, somebody there to listen,
(04:55):
and oftentimes these are family members.They can be others, friends,
other loved ones, but building thatstrong community of support is one of the
critical elements of early being early onin treatment and in recovery during that first
year, so that somebody doesn't haveto go it alone. There's a lot
of supports when somebody's in an inpatientprogram twenty four hours a day, seven
(05:16):
days a week, but once somebodyleaves that program and they start to go
back to their life, having peoplethey can call, that they can talk
to, who are going to bethere for them is so critical. I
think that's very much key. It'syour first year of sobriety, but it's
also a year of first so it'sgoing to be your first Thanksgiving sober,
your first Christmas sober, your firstNew Year's and it's also your family's first
(05:42):
year of having you at the tablesober, and they need to know is
it do we serve our typical beveragesat the holidays, And so a lot
of education goes into this and creatingan opportunity for families to get together.
And that's what we do at theAlumni Association is we host about one hundred
(06:03):
sober events and those are in agiven year, and those are open to
family, they're open to the community. So you can come maybe to our
facilities or to a fun place whereyou can just meet other families who are
going through what you're going through,meet other couples, see people with their
children and how they're talking to theirfamilies about mom or dad getting well,
(06:26):
and it's a powerful, really powerfulgroup of individuals. Jay, I think
you bring such an important message therein that when someone is in recovery,
family and friends don't often know theright words. I know that in my
experience. I had a friend orhave a friend who's in recovery for alcohol
(06:46):
use and I brought in she washaving a little get together, and I
brought in a case of beer andthen I just slapped my forehead and I
said, what was I thinking,but it's not. No one told me
what you do? How do youact in a situation like that where you
really want to be supportive, butyou have to really know what are the
(07:08):
things that are acceptable what are not? I mean, in her case,
she said, no worries. Youknow everyone else can have beer. That's
fine. You shouldn't feel restricted aboutwhat you can do around me. But
maybe for some other people that wouldn'tbe exactly appropriate. So talking to the
family, preparing them to have thewords to say or the actions to commit
(07:30):
to this sounds like it's really critical, absolutely, and just being able to
ask the questions, what do youneed? Am coming to your house?
What can we do to support you? And just being open about the conversations.
I think that's part of reducing thestigma that has gone along with this
disease, is just being willing tosay how can I help? And I
(07:54):
think that's powerful in recovery when peopleare just willing to say how can I
help, and then the individual inrecovery can say, yeah, this is
exactly what I need to see.It's communication is very important because there is
a there is a line that youhave to be cognizant of. When you're
going to a party, you're goingto get together with someone that you know
is in recovery. The idea ofgoing out of your way to make sure
(08:18):
you're not bringing anything of an alcoholicnature can also have an alternate effect on
signaling them out and making them feelthat they're the reason that no one can
enjoy themselves because of what I'm doing, you know. So it's critical communication
(08:39):
because if it is the very beginningof recovery and there is an event like
that, then that individual has todecide, am I do I want to
go to this event? Because younever want to feel that you're the reason
that no one is acting the waythey would at an event because no one
wants to. And and just ona personal level, like we had talked
(09:03):
about before, that everyone self medicatesin their own particular way. Now I
know, for me, I goto events and we have parties, you
know. And my girl does thisall the time for me because she's helping
me. My means of self medicationthrough the loss of my son, through
the every tragy I've been through isthrough food that is my self medicating.
(09:28):
And we'll go to an event andor we'll have a party and they'll be
everything that I love. And thefood I love more than any other food
on the planet is pizza. Itis my kryptonite. It is and I
know that when a party is overand there's all my favorite pizza and there's
breads and I love it, mygirl will make a point at the end
(09:50):
of the party to go, hey, everyone grab a bag, and everyone's
taking food home, and I'm sittingin at your going, no, they're
not taking the pizza home. No, they're not taking the bread home.
And she goes, they are takingthe bread home, and they are taking
the pizza home because I cannot trustyou to not wake up at five in
the morning and raid the refrigerator andeat an entire pizzas. So we have
(10:15):
to know what our limitations are.We have to know where our strength and
our weaknesses are. Like I saidbefore, but you don't want to alienate
make someone feel that you're alienating them, and everyone's looking at them and going,
well, the reason I can't havea beer is because so and so
is here. So it's a greatquestion, but it's a fine line and
(10:35):
it needs to be communicated on howthat needs to be handed. If I
may as well communication is like Ineeded to learn a lot of how I
communicated across the board and recognize thatas well. And the phraseology, the
body language, the subtle ways thatI communicate the individuals in my life and
(10:56):
my family is so important. Againfor me, I had to look it
is like, Okay, I haveto make these changes, but this is
going to make me a better person. I'm going to be able to do
more. I'm gonna be able tocommunicate better, you know, because it
is a family disease, I'm blessedto be able to do family support groups
and family orientation for our patients atthe Lighthouse, and I talk to them
all the time about you know,your loved ones are creating a structure of
(11:20):
peer to peer support and medical andspiritual help, and then can we create
the same thing for you. Youknow, we have different twelve step fellowships
for the loved ones, and thenwe are blessed to be able to have
a really robust family program that wantsto say, hey, do you have
any questions? You know what's goingon and connect them to each other just
like we do. And you knowthat's the exciting part of it, because
(11:41):
you're right the families don't know,you know, they're stepping on toes.
How do I communicate? And alot of that is sitting down, just
like you're saying, and creating anew structure that we can go about communicating
through. Boundaries are really really important. What do they look like? You
know, that's tough early, forsure, that's tough early. But if
it's authentic communication, if it's real, authentic communication, it'll be felt in
(12:03):
her. Just to follow up,Bob, that first those first days,
weeks, months, year, you'regoing to be encountering lots of triggers.
As Tony was talking about, he'sfigured out a strategy for not falling into
the trigger of eating unlimited pizza.Right, So for you, what was
(12:26):
it? What did you do tohandle those triggers that inevitably you would encounter.
That's a great question. I beganto recognize these feelings and emotions I
had as triggers. Like you canhear the word triggers, well, what
does that really mean? So Ibegan to recognize that, you know,
most of my stuff was based uponfear control some of these issues. You
(12:46):
know. So I also, likeI shared before, I had gained some
weight because I was eating more,you know, and then to tell myself,
Okay, well it's a lot betterthan what you were doing before,
and you're learning and growing and movingforward and you're going to get better.
But for me, it's expressing howI feel to my peers and to people
that are helping me, so thatI can have a better understanding. And
(13:09):
so like, I may have thisthing kept inside me that I think that
I'm the only one in the worldis suffering from this, and yet other
people are going through the same problem, you know, And so in a
lot of ways, you systematically beginthe process of reevaluating how you think and
what it means to you. Now, to me today, triggers and problems
are opportunities for growth, you know. And to where for a long time
(13:30):
it was fear but I had torecognize that I was a person that was
fearful. I had been fearful inmy whole life. You know, I'm
a big guy and all that,and I say, hey, you know,
these are some of the things Istruggle with, and that's okay,
because I'm a human being. Youknow. Again, I'm excited about the
process. I'm not saying every daywas great, but I was excited about
the process. And here's the thing, like before, is once you get
(13:50):
going on that motivation and you're surroundyourself with people that are heading in the
right direction you and you commit andare willing to do this, it's just
kind of happens. You don't haveto think about as a matter of fact.
The fact of the matter is Iused to try to plan my day
every day. Now I get myselfright in the morning through prayer and meditation,
so I let the day come tome and I just handle the day.
(14:13):
So instead of me trying to,you know, dictate everything and control
everything, and then that will goout off the rails, I'm just like,
I'm going to get myself quiet,I'm going to get myself intentional about
what I'm trying to accomplish that day, and then I go out and I
freely live that day. So it'samazing. And he said that because it
literally is leading into a statement thatI wanted to make prior to when he
(14:35):
spoke, you have to worry aboutone of the biggest pitfalls that I believe
people fall into is you have tobe conscious that you cannot create the perfect
scenario in this life. And whatwe try to do in helping people is
to remove all of these triggers andto remove all of these things, and
(14:56):
then people are like, Okay,I can function here. Well, you're
not functioning because this is not thereal world. This is not reality you
need and honestly you need to throwsomeone into a pit. But you need
to do exactly what he said,which is to get right with yourself and
realize that the world is not goingto change its behavior for you. That
(15:20):
you have to be able to controlyour own behavior to function in the world,
and getting right with yourself and preparingyourself knowing that there are absolutely going
to be all of these triggers thatare going to come through every single day,
and you don't live in a controlledenvironment, so you have to learn.
(15:41):
I love when you said, Imean, I love the fact that
you said that those triggers should notbe looked at as something to be feared
and something to be avoided, butsomething to grow from. And when you
can get the mentality of knowing thatthat trigger is something that I'm going to
learn to deal with, push through, not go around, because that's the
(16:04):
whole idea of self medicating is goingaround. But to recognize that trigger and
go I Am going to find away where I can go through that trigger
and deal with that trigger, becausethat is that is real life, that
was so well set. Make yousaid it, right, Tony, Make
my peace with who I am asa human being, you know, And
(16:25):
then I begin to feel better aboutmyself, and then I you know,
there's really nothing that can stop me, you know. So if I'm not
worried about the exterior, as youhad shared, right, I'm not worried
about the exterior. I'm just goingto focus on me and allow and allow
that, like you said, thosefeelings and emotions to flow through. They're
gonna come. They're gonna and I, like you said, I can't run
from them in my mind. Iknow it might sound crazy, but I
(16:47):
had to make my piece and there'sgonna be things that are going to in
my head that may not feel sogood at times, but I understand that
it's going to be okay, youknow what I mean. And and the
more I've got to know them,they've become friends. Do you hear people
say the best thing about that firstyear in recovery is you get to experience
all these feelings and emotions and thenon the flip side, they'll say,
the worst thing about that first yearand recovery is you get all these feelings
(17:11):
and emotions. And I think that'swhat you're speaking to is learning, is
learning what those things feel like becauseyou've been numb for so long. Yeah,
I love that. I love that. Triggers or opportunities, Pete,
what is the how of recovery?Honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.
What a great way of putting it. The how of recovery? So the
(17:33):
how a recovery, it's a greatway of sort of summarizing some of the
principles that are really important in earlyrecovery. So first of all, the
ability to direct and honest with oneself, with the people around oneself, be
honest about you know what some ofthese triggers are going to be, what's
going to be difficult, what's notgoing to be easy, because you know,
recovery is not easy, and earlyrecovery is especially not easy. Open
(17:56):
mindedness being open to new things.For many people in early recovery, a
lot of what they're doing is new. So what Jay had said, the
new feelings that somebody's experiencing, beingwilling to approach that and understanding that you
know, sometimes that's going to bewonderful, and sometimes that's not going to
be wonderful. Sometimes that's going tobe difficult, and that's okay. And
(18:18):
the willingness to try new things.So the willingness to try, you know,
I'm going to try having fun orsocializing or you know, something simple
as watching a game that maybe somebodyalways used to do, under the influence
to try that in a different way. Yeah, which was going to lead
to a question, Bob. Foryou. It's weird because a lot of
(18:41):
these questions are just being answered justin the realm of the conversation. But
were there any particular key lifestyle changesand habits healthy habits that you personally developed
in that first shear of recovery thatyou think might be something that other people
(19:03):
can relate to to share with that. Sure, one of the first things
was self care, which is exercise. I began to exercise. I began
to take time out during the dayfor quiet time to get myself you know,
where I needed to be. Beganto develop. As I said,
I had gained some weight. Sotowards the end of the year, I
began to develop a diet that workedfor me, and some of these things
(19:26):
that really helped me create structure inmy life. I had no structure in
my life in my active use.And for me, a lot of it
was when my kids went away tocollege. They were what held me,
help me together, if that makesany sense. And so when they were
going it was like, you know, like all hell broke loose. So
it was just again, just okay, let me get out there, let
(19:48):
me start exercise. And I neverreally did that before I began riding a
bike. I think mindfulness is reallyreally important so to be able. I
always had loved nature, reconnecting withthe things that I I loved before it
got too bad, Right, Ialways loved nature. So now I would
get out and put my earbuds onit and just go for a ride.
And I'm blessed to live down there, and you know, southern New Jersey
(20:11):
where there's tons of trails, youknow, and connection reconnecting. Right,
it's a disease of isolation. Andwhat we're trying to do as part of
the Alumni Association is again, letme go back a look. It's a
disease of disconnection. It's a diseaseof disconnection. So how do I what
is the cure connection? Then ifI if it's okay, honestly, open
minded and willingness. If I'm honest, open minded and willing I ask my
(20:34):
clients all the time, you know, am I being spiritual? Because they
are the spiritual axioms, you know. So if I'm honest, if I
come to a conversation with honesty,open minded and willingness, and you do
as well, we're going to havea spiritual conversation, We're going to have
a beautiful conversation. And that wasa spiritual experience that I just that's the
essence of a spiritual experience. SoI so many things, you know,
(20:56):
just looking at the way I useto live and saying to myself, okay,
everything's on the table. Now,everything's on the table. I had
a lot of preconceived, very hard, strong, preconceived notions about what I
thought as a human being that Idon't believe anymore. I had it about
people, if I'm honest with you, you know, and I realized that
(21:18):
I'm excluding so many different people inmy life and so many different experiences,
and so I was able to getout there and experience them, you know,
and like I said, go intothe fellowships, learning, meeting new
friends, you know what I mean, and helping other people. Yeah,
Bob, you talk about this diseaseis being a disease of isolation. And
Jay and Bob, you both areinvolved in the alumni space. And while
(21:42):
there's family, there's friends, butcertainly no one knows what you've been through
and can support you with that livedexperience and someone who's gone through it.
Right, absolutely, I think it'swhat we've tried to do is develop a
network of people to peer support.Because people don't just isolate from family from
(22:06):
themselves, but they isolate from feelings, They isolate from coworkers, they isolate
from hobbies, and so what wewant to do is just provide that connection.
So let's take a group of alumsand go bowling. Do you like
bowling? I don't know. I'vebeen numb for so long. I don't
know if I like that or not. But when I do it with a
group of people and I can havethat fellowship, maybe it is something that
(22:30):
really brings those positive emotions back intoyour life and you start saying, Okay,
I can have fun in recovery.This isn't going to be so many
times you're changing people, places andthings and you feel like, well,
this is going to be no funat all. We say, no,
there's a whole new world out there, and that's what the Alumni Association is
about, is just connecting you withpeople resources, fun in recovery, just
(22:53):
whole new experiences, right, Pete. I guess that's really a part of
the equation. We've talked about medicallyassisted treatments, we've talked about all the
behavioral stuff, we've talked about family, but it seems like this alumni network,
that space that can be embracing,is really a very key and important
(23:15):
part of the recovery process, youknow. I think fun in Recovery is
a great way to put it thatso much of what we do is so
heavy, it's so difficult at times, it's so emotionally fraud and there's a
reason for that. This is adifficult disease and treatment is not easy.
Recovery is not easy. But forpeople to have that outlet where they can
(23:37):
go bowling with people in recovery,or go to a party or get together
watch the game, do something funand do that with other members of the
fellowship who are in recovery that's soimportant, so critical, and not establishing
that and having it be something that'sjust heavy and that's just difficult. I
couldn't imagine living with only that,not having the fun times that we all
(24:00):
look forward to. I mean,that's whether you're in recovery or not.
These are the things that make upour lives. And you know, being
able to support people and re establishingand learning that and making that be the
fun part of recovery and the funpart of their life is so important.
We've actually made that part of theclinical process. It's part of our care
model. This isn't something just optional. This is what we really I mean,
(24:23):
obviously everything's optional, but it's somethingthat we prioritized exactly. And we
are going to have you meet thosealumni coordinators right when you walk into the
door those first few days of treatment, so you already have that established relationship.
So when Bob follows up with youafter you leave treatment, he's leveraging
(24:44):
an actual relationship and you've set inhis groups, You've gotten to know him.
You know he knows what he's talkingabout. He's been where you are,
and so's it becomes a very powerfulcontinuum of care a piece of that
continuum of care. Yeah, Bob, So what does it meant for you
to well, certainly be an alumni, but also to get the support of
(25:04):
alumni. It's fantastic because again I'mamongst like minded individuals, you know,
who are striving for the same thing, and you know. So now I'm
the alumni coordinator. I was amember of the alumni Association when I first
left RCA, I was actually apatient there. I get so much joy
and quite frankly, inspiration from thealumni Today. I'm, like Jay said,
(25:26):
I'm blessed to do a lot ofgroups on Zoom and in patient with
the patients, so I get toI'm inspired now. So and that's the
beauty of it. It's not likeI'm the leader and I have all this
knowledge and I'm teaching you like down. I like the power dynamic to be
equal, very very equal, youknow, and to be able to for
the patients when they're us with us. My greatest goal or want for them
(25:51):
is for them to be inspired abouttheir own personal recovery when they leave.
So when I get to meet them, get to talk to them, and
I love how you share that,Pete. It's not always about the book
and this and that. Sometimes it'sjust about conversations and I love talking to
them. Like I was saved,I was saying, I can't explain it,
especially the other way. Like Iwas saved, people took time out
of their lives to help me,and now I get to do the same
(26:14):
thing. I consider myself in acontinuum. It's just a long continuum.
I don't know the people way backhere. We're part of that continuum,
and I won't know the people thatwe're up here. But my role right
now, what I can do todayis do the next right thing the hope
to keep it going. So Tony, we all celebrate certain events in our
life. I mean, we celebrateour birthdays, we celebrate holidays. Is
(26:36):
there anything that you you personally doin particular to celebrate those milestones of your
recovery? Is there a thing thatyou do, a place that you go,
Is there anything you know? Iwould love to know what it is
you do to celebrate. Well,that actually brings me to my next question.
(26:56):
Bob and Tim, we all markspecial times in our lives with celebrations.
Because you had just mentioned celebrate,is there anything that you you personally
do in particular to celebrate those milestonesof your recovery. Thank you for asking
that. The first thing I didfor the first three years is give my
(27:17):
coin to my family members because it'sours. It's ours, you know,
so to my wife and to mychildren, and then to people after that
people in the network. We worryabout ego a lot in recovery, right,
we really worry about ego a lot. So, like I've done this,
so like what my sponsoring is stillmeet for a long time is when
so so I guess what I'm tryingto say is like, do I want
(27:37):
to go up and get that coin? Is it my ego? Right?
And he said, you're doing thatto show someone that it can be done.
It's not for you, it's toshow another person in that room that
they can do it. Ego isself serving. So if it's not self
serving, yeah, then ego doesn'tplay well no, no, no,
But the the whirling brain questions it, you know what I mean. But
(28:00):
yeah, but then, like Isaid, those coins represent me and my
family, sobriety not just mine.So they get they get to get them
and share with that too. Iwork at the facility that saved my life.
Can you imagine that walking into thebuilding every day that saved your life,
walking into the rooms where you wereonce a patient and running every once
(28:22):
in a while, I'm like,I can't believe I'm doing this, you
know, it's like this is amazing, you know, and it's not just
me, tons of staff members inRCA. We really want to be able
to get that peer to peer youknow, after of course, after a
certain amount of time, we don'twant to swim right into the mix.
But it is so powerful to say, hey, I what do you mean?
What are you talking about? I'mlike, well, I literally this
(28:42):
is the room I've had conversations withpeople sitting in the bed that was my
bed, you know, And that'scrazy, right, it's crazy to think,
but it's just beautiful you look backon it. And then at first
the first year seemed like it tookforever, but now they just kind of
go, you know what I mean, You're like, I guess to answer
your question is a lot of reflectionon where I came from all the day,
(29:06):
you know, on the day thatI've just that, I celebrate.
You know, it's been seven yearsnow, almost eight years, is how
far I've came and all the andhow grateful I am, you know,
I'm truly grateful to be alive manand then be a part of this like
as opposed to just like you know, wasting time, you know. So,
so for all of you, whatwould be the message to fellow people
(29:32):
in recovery? Are those that youknow that are in recovery for that first
year, Pete, what would beyour message? My message for people in
the first year of recovery would beto make as many connections as possible,
to not lose hope and to continuemoving forward. It's it's something that is
absolutely possible. I think that's somethingthat's been repeated here a lot. Is
(29:52):
the possibility of it and the factthat it is something that it's worth the
work. Alumni Association is built onthree pillars succeed, belong, and serve,
and I think that's really critical inthat first year. We want to
help you connect to a community thatcan help you succeed in your recovery,
(30:12):
belong to a vibrant social community oflike minded people, and then ultimately serve
others. So come back in ourfacilities, find a place to be of
service. We have a whole volunteerprogram that takes our alums and puts them
back into the facilities to serve andreally live out that twelfth step. And
so I would say, succeed,belong and serve others. Beautiful, Bob,
(30:37):
don't give up, you know,don't give up. You're worth it.
You know, you're truly worth it. Some of us are beaten down
someone that they think they're not worththe effort, you know, or they
think they can't. But you can, anybody can, you know, I
share it all the time. Islike it can just start right now,
you know, so kind of hangin there. Like we talked about before,
you're going to have the highs andlows. But that doesn't mean you're
(31:00):
defective. You're just human. It'sa beautiful thing. And like like we
said, connect if anything, connectthe people that can inspire you, Pete.
If people want more information about RecoveryCenters of America, where do they
go for more information? You cango to Recovery Centers of America dot com
or call us twenty four to sevenat eight four four two five recovery.
(31:25):
Thanks to all of you. JayRoddenbush, Director of Alumni Engagement, Bob,
we'd be senior alumni coordinator and aperson who's in recovery and Pete Vernick,
vice president of mental health Services forRecovery Centers of America. I'm Lorraine
Ballard Morrel. I'm Tony Luke Junior. Thanks for having me. Thank you
so much for being here. That'sour honor. A
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