God Knows Podcast: Live from Valhalla
Thor, the legendary god of old, is a little vexed with ”Head Office’s” rehousing scheme. His tier-four divinity lodgings - a dilapidated terrace in the North of England - now hosts the once mighty Valhalla within an attic conversion. He’s also been lumbered with a motley crew of divine D listers: Dionysus, the alcoholic god of wine and party time; Cupid, the snack-addicted god of love and poor bodily hygiene; Amon, an oily demon with a passion for musical theatre. They’re not 100% sure of what a podcast is, but the guys live in hope that it’ll raise their profiles and help reclaim some of their former glory. And with heavenly guests popping in each episode, god knows, they might yet do it!
Episodes
Come in out of the snow and prepare to have your chestnuts roasted on an open fire, it’s the God Knows tinsel-festooned special!
Everyone's invited to the gods' divine shindig. Valhalla is rocking! And, being a multi-faith pantheon, the lads have got Yuletide, Christmas and hedonistic Bacchanalia covered. Get ready to meet some of the weirdest seasonal characters on the planet. They’ll ev...
Taken from our 2024 Halloween spectacular, "One night at Gran’s".
In the midst of Thor’s convalescence, the boys receive a mysterious invitation from the geriatric proprietor of the local adult wares emporium. They should know better than to trust Gran Summers, but the reward for completing her quest is more tempting than the proverbial Golden Fleece. Will a surprise gift from Odin help our heroes win the day, or is there a darker, more powerful force waiting to smite them down? Thi...
Small height, big fight! Gnome Force! - Taken from our latest episode "Goddlebox".
In the midst of a cost of living crisis, what better way to save a few florins than a cosy night in watching the televisual box? Cupid’s managed to bag a dodgy Firestick from the local bridge trolls and it comes with access to the usually-restricted godly channels. Say hello to chariot racing’s Flaming Ring of Death and the cult 1980s action classic that is Gnome Force. Small height, big fight! So catchy. Oh, and Zeus...
The gods plan the biggest blowout this side of the Trojan War. Dionysus, in his role as Official Party Meister, has sorted the venue, buffet and music, but what about the extensive celebrity guest list? Will Miriam Margolyes accept her invitation? Cupid is crossing his tiny golden wings she does.
Warning: contains ‘passing’ references to the Court of King Caractacus.
Cupid has eaten a family pack of rancid prawn crackers. Uh oh, the outhouse has been infested with verminous gnomes, and Dionysus has something special fermenting in the indoor latrine. It’s a full code brown emergency situation. What is our cuddly God of Love to do?
Warning: contains foul language and references to noxious brown fountains.
Thor and Dionysus trudge the Chuffed Buyer Supermarket aisles on a quest for godly sustenance. Unfortunately, our God of Wine and Party Time has the divine munchies and his pester power is dialled up to 11. But, as we all know, Thor isn’t made of florins… or a patient temperament.
Warning: contains foul language and references to off-brand products.
The boys are joined by the wickedest man in the world - no, not Tom Hanks, that’s just a baseless internet rumour. It’s the wandering spirit of Aleister Crowley that’s seeking to make a demonic pact with Amon. Surely our resident imp can’t be stupid enough to sign the contract. But how exactly do Boudicca, man jam and Cheryl Baker’s legs come into the mix? Tune in to find out more. If you dare… Mwah, mwah, mwah!
Thor delivers this enchanting Viking poem, evoking the magic and majesty of a Norse Yule. Wonderful!
From our latest Yuletide spectacular. Enjoy this traditional Norse carol!
The boys warmly welcome you to their sensational seasonal special. Of course, being gods of different faiths, their celebratory traditions aren't exactly aligned. It's not easy to reconcile a heady mix of entrails-bedecked trees, vomitoriums and Mariah Carey. No matter, a couple of St Nick's elves pop in for a tinsel-tastic interview. Well, they used to work for Santa, anyway!
Warning: co...
Dion’s favourite cryptid has a substance abuse problem and, being half moth, that substance is photons. The gods have blacked-out Valhalla in preparation, but will this be enough to prevent their guest from O.D.ing on sweet, sweet light? There’s no denying, Mothman is one weird dude.
Warning: contains foul language and references to the consumption of granny knickers.
With Amon in charge of booking tonight’s guest, you’d expect it to be someone crazed and demonic. And you’d be right. Much to Thor and Dionysus’ vexation, Charon, the underworld ferryman, visits Valhalla for a song and dance spectacular.
Warning: contains foul language and extended periods of musical theatre.
Get in touch:
@godknowspodcast (X, T...
The boys welcome Momus, god of satire and mockery, to Valhalla. Thor, a lifelong fan, is in great spirits, but will the clowning around get out of hand?
A special guest appearance from Herbert Channing, comedic giant of the working men’s club scene, makes this an episode you’d be f*****g bonkers to miss.
Warning: contains foul language and intimate descriptio...
From the hallowed feasting tables of Valhalla, join Thor, Dionysus and Amon for their inaugural episode. And to kickstart their divine new podcast, the boys interview a real A-lister. But he shouldn’t expect a warm reception. The homeless Cupid has been imposing on the gods’ hospitality for weeks. He may be the god of love (and, possibly, crisps) but the living room settee is now riper than a dung troll’s cleft.
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