January 8, 2024 • 42 mins
Welcome back to the podcast where Granger answers your questions and offers advice on anything you want to discuss.
In this episode, we address a mom's concern about adding another baby to the family amidst a seemingly scary world. The listener, Katie, who is a firm believer in Christ, expresses fear and second-guessing due to discussions about the end of times. Granger encourages her to embrace faith over fear and reminds her that having a child during challenging times is an opportunity to raise a baby in good faith. The episode delves into the providence of God and challenges conventional notions about deciding when to have a baby.
In a subsequent question from Lindsay, the focus shifts to dealing with a mother's alcoholism. Lindsay recounts her struggles with her mom's drinking habits, which led to losing two grandparents to cirrhosis. Despite her desire for her son to have a relationship with his grandmother, Lindsay faces challenges as her mother's drinking impacts their interactions. Granger offers insights into navigating complex family dynamics and balancing the desire for familial connections with the need for a safe environment for the child.
Email your questions, anytime, to podcast@grangersmith.com.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have to wake up every day knowing I'm the
reason my mom is dead. What's up, everybody? Welcome back
to the podcast. I answer your questions on here. You
(00:20):
email me granger at Excuse Me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
I have switched that email and so if you, if
you've been paying attention in watching the you know the
last several episodes, I've switched it. Now it is podcast
at grangersmith dot com. You ask me a question and
we walk through whatever you want to talk about, whatever,
(00:43):
whatever is ailing you, whatever, whatever, whatever you want advice
in that you would ask a friend. That's what I
want to be for you in this in this podcast,
as a friend, someone you could sit in the truck
with and go, man, I've been kind of wrestling with
something and and I've listen, maybe I've listened to your
podcast for a bunch of times, and I've never asked anything.
(01:04):
And now I'm finally I finally have the nerve to
ask you this question. What would you do in this situation? Now,
sometimes I look back on these episodes and I go, yeah,
you know, I don't think I was right about that.
But that's not really the point. The point is what's
my what's my gut reaction to a friend? That's what
I want to be to you once again. It is
(01:25):
podcast at grangersmith dot com. The first question says, Hey, Granger,
just wondering what you would say to a mom considering
adding another baby to the family with how scary the
world is nowadays. It's me, she says, I'm the mom. Lol.
I'm a firm believer in Christ, and I know that
kids are a gift from God. But with how scary
(01:45):
the world is nowadays and everyone talking about the end
of times, it definitely has me on edge and second
guessing it. Any words of advice and do you believe
all kids are saved in the rapture? That's a lot
of questions. Thanks Granger, and God bless you and your family.
This question comes from Katie. I sure appreciate it, Katie,
I want to I want to dive in a little
bit because the question like this. The first thing that
(02:08):
the first thing that occurs to me is when you
say you're a firm believer in Christ, right, and yet
you're living fearfully. I want to recognize first of all
that those two things don't go well together. A firm
believer in Christ would not be fearful of anything that's
(02:30):
happening in this world. You shouldn't be. And in fact,
if you had the maximum amount of faith that you
could have the faith that could move mountains, that would
also equal zero fear, zero anxiety, total trust. Now you
don't have that, and I don't either. But that's the
(02:51):
goal as we're sanctified as Christians, as we move forward,
as we grow our faith, as we work it out
with fear and trembling. The Bible says, the more we
have faith, the more we know who God is as
he's represented in Christ, then the last fear we have.
It just so happens that I do want to recognize
(03:12):
that this kind of fear, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't
be a thing for you. There are certain things that
you could fear and I would let you get away with,
but this is something I'm not gonna let you get
away with. First of all, fearing the end of times
(03:32):
as a as a believer is an exciting thing. If
you're going, man, all these people talking about the end
of times? Is that what you said? You said? Yeah,
everyone talking about the end of times. It definitely has
me on edge and second guessing whether or not to
have a child. And then but the sentences before that,
you said, you're a firm believer in Christ. If you're
(03:53):
a firm believer in Christ and you're going, bring it on,
Come Lord Jesus. That's what the apostles did. That's what
they said in the Book of Acts and all their letters.
They were like, I hope he comes back. I hope
he comes back tomorrow. That would be what you're talking
about at the end of times. So why don't you
say that, Katie. It sounds like you don't trust in
(04:14):
what he said, what Jesus said. I'm not criticizing. I'm
just helping push you along, Like you're on the plank
here and I'm pushing you along going. Look, the idea
of having a baby in a scary world is it's
not strange for a mother to think that. I don't
(04:36):
blame you, but I do want to encourage you and go, man,
this is the time we need babies. This is the
time we need babies born in good faith with faithful mothers.
What's a world without without babies with faithful mothers, That's
a horrible world. Do you let me ask you a question,
do you just want to have a baby if the
(04:57):
world is all nice and pretty and rainbows, is that
what you want? Or do you want to raise a
child and go or raising child a child at a
time such as this. Do you not think that God
is providential and when you have a baby or not?
Do you think you get to decide this? That's another question.
I have a lot of questions for you. If we're
riding in the truck together, I go, first of all, Oh,
(05:17):
do you think you get to decide when a baby
comes or when it doesn't? Or is it God that
does that? Do you get to decide when if a
baby comes during good times or bad times? Or is
it God that does that? Do you get to decide
if it is good times or bad times? Or does
God decide that? Do you get to decide if it's
the end of times or not? Or does God decide that?
(05:39):
And all these questions equal, Now God decides it. God
is God is. This is the most powerful two words
you could possibly say. God is and you trust and
you go, yeah, yeahna have a baby if it is,
if it is the end of times, that's amazing. That's
my thought for you. It gets way deep I'll leave
(06:00):
it at that for the time being. Lindsey has the
next question here. It says, Hey, Granger, my mom has
drank for as long as I could remember. I'm twenty
seven and I've lost two grandparents to sirrhosis of the
liver due to their drinking, which were her dad and
her stepfather. My husband and I have a seven year
(06:22):
old son, and I'd love to have for her to
have a relationship with him. But the times that I
let her watch him overnight having me a bit have
bit me in the behind, she says, because I would
get a mother's intuition feeling and showing up at the
house and then she'd be passed out drunk. I haven't
(06:44):
let him stay there since, and this has been going
on for about four years. She begs me to let
him stay the night all the time, but when she asks,
I could tell that she's been drinking just by her
voice over the phone. My husband says that I need
to cut ties completely due to how she treated me
because I won't let him stay over there. How would
you handle this situation. I've explained this to her more
(07:06):
time than I can count, and I met my wits end.
I love your music and your family. I keep bringing
God to the people. Okay, Lindsey, I'm sorry you're in
this situation. This is a tough one. It's a tough situation,
but an easy answer. I'll say that if this is me,
you said, how would I handle this situation? If I
(07:27):
went over there, said, say, put myself in this scenario,
and this is my mom and she I go over
there and she's passed out drunk and she's watching Lincoln. Okay,
that's the last time Lincoln's going over there until she
proves and builds trust with me that she doesn't drink
(07:49):
when she's supervising my kids. Period into story. I don't
care if she's my mom, my sister, my wife, my babysitter.
I don't care who she is. If she's drinking, she's
not responsible enough to watch my child, and she's been
passed out drunk while babysitting, she's eliminated from the question.
(08:10):
There is no more question anymore. Hey Mom, you're not
watching my kid. You passed out drunk. I love you.
I forgive you, but forgiving you doesn't mean I trust you.
Trust is earned, and you have not earned my trust. Mom.
You want to watch my kid, and I hope you do.
I hope one day you build a relationship because I
desperately desire my kid to have a relationship with his grandma.
(08:34):
I desire that, mom, But as his mother, as his protector,
I cannot trust you because I have found you passed
out drunk. If you stop drinking, you go to rehab,
you go to some kind of treatment facility, and I
will support you and love you all the way through that.
And now I will not stop loving you because you're
(08:54):
my mom. But until you do that and come out
sober and collect many many months of sobriety, then maybe
I'll consider my son going to your house under someone
else's supervision. After that happens many many times and probably
years put together, I trust you alone with my child
after years of earning a trust. Nothing to do with forgiveness. Mom,
(09:18):
I forgive you, and I love you. It doesn't change
my love for you. I'm just saying, as a responsible parent,
I cannot leave my child here. Done. That's done. Lindsay
you don't need to because your husband said you want,
he wants you to cut ties. You don't have to
cut ties completely. That's not what this is about. This
(09:40):
is about being responsible parent. You could still talk on
the phone, you can still FaceTime, but your parent, your mom,
she doesn't get an opportunity to watch your kid. That's it.
That's it. Thanks for the email, and thanks for trust
to me with something that's a pretty serious situation. I'm
(10:03):
pretty sure that anyone that listens to this would answer
that in that same way. One has the next question.
It says, Hey, Granger, I love this podcast in your Wisdom.
I have a quick question. I'm a junior in college
and I recently met a super cool girl at work
who is a senior in high school. I'd love to
get to know her more and potentially take her out,
depending on how things go. I want to hear your
(10:25):
thoughts on age maturity gap. Is this unwise? Does the
Bible say anything on it? Reviewing your question, one, you're
a junior in high school. She's a senior in high school.
So let's say she is eighteen at the max and
(10:49):
you are, so you're twenty one. Well, that sounds about right.
You'd be a senior in college to be twenty two,
so you're three years older. Twenty one and eighteen is
not an issue to me. If she's seventeen. That is
an issue. Let's wait a few more months. I love
(11:13):
that you're asking the question. If you're not asking the question,
it sounds like this, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one. I'm
dating a seventeen year old and she is she's the
love of my life. She has a baby on the way.
These are sometimes these questions go and then it's like, buddy,
(11:35):
what do you want me to do for you? This
is already happened. This is already happening. So I love one.
I love that you're asking the question before this is happening.
You're saying, listen, look, I would love to get to
know her more and potentially take her out, depending on
how things go. And by the way, she's eighteen and
(11:57):
I'm twenty one, she's in high st going I'm in college.
Hey man, I like that. I like you're asking the question.
And I don't mind the age the age gap. No,
the Bible doesn't say anything about this. This is this
is uh where you're gonna have to use your own discernment,
in your own wisdom, and you're gonna have to realize
that high school and college these you're in a different
(12:19):
season than she is. You're you're you're in a season
of independence, and she's in a season of dependence. Most
likely she's living at home. She doesn't know what it's
like to have an apartment and pay bills. You do, You're,
you're in a completely different season. So my question is,
(12:39):
could you start to get her note to get to
know her more now? Taking things slowly, recognizing that she
has maybe what five months of high school left, and
then she's going to graduate, and then she's going to
be college age, and she's in. Now, she's in your
playbook right now, she's in. She understands things that you
under stand a lot more. So let's wait a little bit.
(13:04):
If you're asking me one, let's wait just a bit
and keep your eye on the situation. I love that
you're asking a question, and I think you're right on
the cusp of something beautiful. I really do. Podcast Today
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Can you believe that it's been twenty four years since
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Let me tell you this. Christmas has now come and
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oh man, I didn't get a present for that person
and for whatever reason, it didn't come in time, or
I didn't get a gift. Let me help you with this.
(15:54):
Let me get you a cameo. Go to cameo dot
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to send it to according to what you want me
to say. So it's like, hey, Mike told me that
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I'm here to tell you it's all right. Mike's a
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(16:15):
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(16:35):
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Next question comes from Jordan says, hey Granger, my name
is Jordan Wilson. I just had my little guy Granger
actually named after you back in September. My question is this,
after having a baby, there are so many people who
have things to say about the way you're raising are
(16:58):
going to raise your child or children. How should I
overcome this fear of feeling like I'm failing my child
and not listening to everyone. As a Christian, I always
try to have a listening ear, she says, and I
wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes those opinions
that people have to say about me way very heavy
(17:20):
on my heart. I talked to God about it a lot,
and I would love to see an outsider's perspective. Thank
you so much for reading my email. You are truly
inspiring to me, and I couldn't think of a more
godly and truly humble man than name my son after God.
Bless happy holidays, Jordan. All Right, Jordan, thank you so
much for the email and for trusting me with a
(17:40):
good question. Let's see, you had a baby back in September.
That means you're kind of pulling up on five six
months old September, October, November. So yeah, you're sitting about
five months old, and as you're pregnant, you know you're
(18:02):
probably doing a lot of reading. And everyone has something
to say about this. Everyone's got oh, you need to
do this and make sure you disciplined this way, and
do you have a bass in that or a sleepsack
or you are are they going to the crib or
they sleep it in your bed? And everyone are you
gonna vaccinate? Are you gonna do this? And that? You know,
everyone has got this opinion. And what's beautiful about having
(18:28):
a baby and raising a baby is that God God
takes the time and spaces it out and the growth
of a child and the pregnancy itself. So for instance,
you get pregnant, you have nine months ish to get
(18:51):
things together, to start maybe planning financially, and then after
about what six months in you find out the gender
and so then you start picking out colors and you know,
getting the nursery ready, and then about you know, in
seven months, you find out more things about specifically about
(19:14):
the child, maybe the size, the weight, the mental development.
So you get a couple months then to make adjustments
on what you have, and then the baby comes right
and then the baby's immobile, it's nursing. It's just completely
dependent on you. It's not moving anywhere so you have
(19:37):
at that point, you know, six or seven months to
start getting the floor ready for when they're scooting, and
then as they start scooting, you have a few more
months to start preparing the house for a walker and
a baby that's pulling up on different furniture and putting
their finger in electrical sockets. But you it's always spaced
(19:58):
out in a way that you could just stay a
little bit ahead. You don't have to learn when you
get pregnant, for instance, you don't have to learn how
to handle a toddler, and when you have a toddler,
you don't have to immediately learn how to deal with
a teenager. You just got to stay a little bit ahead.
And it's spaced out in a beautiful way, and everyone's
going to have advice, and like, this is how you discipline.
(20:19):
You make sure you discipline your child this way, and
then slowly but surely, you recognize the personality of your
child and you recognize that, well, that was a good
idea to discipline that way, or that wasn't. My child
doesn't respond in that way, and you're getting reps. You
try it this way, it didn't work. You try it
another way. Now that works. They're sleeping this certain way.
(20:41):
Like some people go, hey, this this new bassinette that
moves around and like sings to your child or whatever.
Save your marriage. People will say like that, and you
could buy it or rent it or borrow it and
go it didn't even work at all. Thanks for your advice,
and I'm sure it worked great with you, but all
babies are different, and it didn't work with me. So
(21:03):
the beautiful thing is you're the mother, your hands on,
you're watching every day. You take advice with the grain
of salt. People that know and they've been there and
done that. Great, thank you so much for the advice.
But I don't have to hear it all because the
most important thing I could do is be watching and
observing my child and how they interact with the world
around them. So don't worry about trying to listen to
(21:27):
everything because you just can't possibly apply it all to
your own child. Just doesn't work that way, So just
relax and the fact that, hey, in a few more months,
your little granger is going to be crawling, and then
a few more months after that, Lord willing, he'll be walking,
and you'll just be observing literally baby steps as it's
(21:47):
happening in real time and making adjustments, staying one step ahead.
Next question comes from John, says, Dear mister Smith, my
name is John. I'm seven teen from Salem, Oregon. A
friend of mine suggested your podcast to me and said
that I should email you. So here it is. In
the summer of twenty twenty two, I was sixteen. I
(22:09):
was in the process of getting my license and my
mom was teaching me. During one of our practice drives,
we were on a back road and I took a
sharp turn too fast. This caused the car to go
through the guard rail and off an embankment. I woke
up in the er three days later and was told
I had suffered a severe spinal cord injury, which left
(22:30):
me paralyzed from the waist down. I am now in
a wheelchair. My mom was killed from the impact. My
mom was the most loving, kind and joyful person in
the world, and she didn't deserve to die. I would
trade our spots in an instant if it meant that
she could have lived, but it isn't that way, and
(22:53):
now I have to wake up every day knowing I'm
the reason my mom is dead. I'm the reason my
little sister won't get to grow up with her mommy.
I'm the reason my dad has to work sixty hours
a week to cover medical bills, support our family, and
raise a kid on his own. My life is a wreck.
(23:14):
It's hard to find a reason to get out of
bed in the morning, and depression is constant. How do
I even start to live again? John? Thank you for
emailing brother, heavy heavy stuff here, heavy stuff, and put
a timeline together in my head. You're seventeen. This happened
(23:36):
a little over a year ago, summer of twenty twenty two,
when you were sixteen. So I build the timeline in
my head because I want to know how much time
has gone by, how much time you've had to First
of all, grieve, And this is a multiple grieving process.
Most grieving processes are multi layered, right, And so you're
(23:59):
grieving your mother, You're grieving your legs, the use of
your legs. You're grieving the the idea that your sister
doesn't have a mother. You're grieving the idea that your
father doesn't have his wife, and that he's working to
pay for medical bills for you. So you're grieving your life.
You used to have that's a real thing, and that's
(24:22):
not a problem. It's not a wrong thing to grieve.
We wouldn't think there that here that you only grieved
your mother and that's the only thing you're sad about.
There's a lot of things that you can rightly be
sad about and rightly grieve about. Mourning is good, weeping
(24:43):
is good, Grieving is normal. What I don't like in
this email is depression, which you say is constant, because
depression is different than mourning and grieving and weeping and sadness.
Depression is self deprivation. Depression is turning the problem past
(25:06):
the situation and turning it and aiming it towards yourself,
and so then you're you're essentially decapitating yourself and you're
you're crushing yourself under your own weight. That's what this
depression is. Grieving and mourning is working out this this missing,
(25:30):
the the the the ability to look back on your
life that the way it was. You're working that out
of your system. Depression is not that. Depression is Depression
is taking that and applying it back into your system
and reliving it and living in it and living about
it and being it. That's what you're doing. I am.
(25:55):
I'm not for a second gonna pretend like I know
what you're going through. I'm not for a second going
to pretend like this is a light situation and going
to be easy to fix, not for a second. So
don't take anything that I say in that way. But
I do understand the guilt of a death because of you.
(26:21):
I understand that I've been through that. In fact, in
a couple of times, a couple times in my life
River and my dad. My mom was visiting me when
my dad died of a heart attack. So if she
hadn't been with me, she would have been with my dad,
(26:42):
probably would have been able to quickly diagnose the problem,
call nine to one one and they could have saved him,
maybe and probably. So I understand the idea that you're saying. Man,
if it wasn't for me, then my mom would still
be here. So that's normal. I hear you, and I'll
(27:03):
sit with you in that and just recognize that that's
a real thing you're feeling, and it's it's valid and
you're not alone. Right, But then we got to get
to the meat of this. We got to get we
have to get to the heart of this, John. This
is if you hear anything I say, if you've ever
(27:24):
heard my podcast, if you ever hear anything I've ever said,
hear this, hear this. The world will tell you, John,
you need to forgive yourself. The world will tell you, John,
you're not guilty. It's not your fault. That's what the
(27:48):
world will tell you. And they mean it with good
intentions and sincerity. And you're gonna hear that, and you're
gonna go. First of all, you're gonna go, what does
forgiving myself mean mean? And how do I do that?
And then you're gonna go, how does the world tell
me I'm not guilty? How does that work? How do
(28:10):
the mechanics of that practically work? I'm not guilty. I
was literally in the car driving. I literally wrecked and
my mom died. Who else's fault isn't is it? You're
just gonna say it's an accident. Well, I was the
one driving, not accidentally intentionally, And then the world's gonna
(28:35):
say it's not your fault, and you're gonna go, yeah,
I don't. I don't know who else's fault it could be.
And if mom died just for a freak accident, I
think that's a little worse because then it means it's meaningless,
which the heart of what I'm gonna tell you, John,
is that I don't believe anything is meaningless, and I
(28:57):
don't believe in accidents or coincidences at all. There's always
a fault, there's always an action, and there's always a reason.
I want to clear that up first, and I want
to say that kind of lay the groundwork because as
the world begins to pour over you, and I'm sure
they already have saying it's not your fault and this
is not your and I'm so sorry you don't blame yourself,
(29:21):
I want to I want to warn you that to me,
that perpetuates the depression because it starts to confuse you
and to how in the world do you even do that?
And then all counseling and therapy could walk you through
this guilt, this guilt and shame. You're shameful and you
gotta literally live with this pain and this shame, literally
(29:43):
in the loss of your legs physically, you're you're you're
living out this shame and this guilt, right, And so
this is where the Gospel of Christ comes in, and
this is what saved me, literally saved my life. If
from this kind of depression, Jesus comes into the world,
(30:08):
the beautiful creation that God made perfect, flawless humans come
in and we ruin it. We reject him, We deny
our creator. We try to fix things on our own,
and we make our art. We make gods of ourselves,
(30:28):
we make idols of ourselves, and we go I'm in control.
I am in control of my own destiny. I make
I create things. I make my life successful or not.
I'm the one that set my alarm. I'm the one
that goes out there and gets a job. I'm the
one that's learning how to walk with prosthetic legs. And
(30:51):
we reject God at every turn. So God enters creation
knowing this, knowing that we have rejected him, that we
have abandoned him, that we have lied, cheated, stole, hated,
denied everything, and our own conscience. As I'm telling you this,
(31:12):
if you think you're a good person, and you think
you deserve heaven because you're a good person, your own
conscience right now is giving you away. Because as I
say this, you think, yeah, I do have some problems,
don't I. I might be I might think I'm better
than my neighbor. I might think I'm better than that guy,
but I know I've messed up my fair share. So
(31:35):
your conscience is ratting you out right now. Jesus comes
in to reconcile sinners to himself, knowing that we could
not do it on our own, knowing that God, to
be in the presence of God would require perfection, and
we don't have it. So he comes in to reconcile
(31:56):
sinners to himself to bring people to God his peace.
He goes to the cross, and what did we do?
We kill him. That's what humans do. God came to
reconcile sinners to back to God, and we kill him,
the son of God. That's what we do. That kind
of sums up humanity. Three days later, he resurrects from
the dead, proving that God's ultimate sacrifice was accepted through Christ.
(32:27):
Jesus says, whoever believes in Me will not perish, will
have eternal life. Guess what else? He says, John, He says,
whoever believes in me, I will forgive them of their sins.
I will cover their guilt, I will cleanse them, I
will make them new. I will give a new heart.
(32:48):
To them. I will put my perfection on them, so
that when God the Father looks and judgment on a
sinful humanity, he sees Christ's perfection covering that person. So
that's what that's the offer of the gospel to you, John.
The Gospel, unlike the world, says, Yes, you are guilty, John, Yeah,
(33:10):
you messed up. No, you can't fix it. But believe
in me. You trust in me and the work I
did on the cross. Jesus says what I did for
you on the cross, John, as I took your sins
upon my body, my perfect body, took your sins, your wretchedness,
upon myself, and I took that as a sacrifice. So
(33:33):
you believe in me, and your sins are paid for.
You are forgiven, your guilt gone overlooked clean. You can't
forgive yourself. You can't say that you're not guilty, but
Jesus can't. That's the gospel. I want you to think
about what I said and dive into. This is your
(33:55):
only chance, John, I'm telling you, and I'm begging you,
this is your only chance. You will not heal from
something this tragic. There's no amount of therapy or secular
counseling that's gonna fix this for you. There is nobody
that's gonna do some kind of mind trick on you
to where you start thinking, I guess you know what.
I guess I am pretty good. Don't have my legs anymore,
(34:17):
don't have my mom, But I guess I'm good. That's
not gonna happen. But Jesus can heal. Jesus can renew
your mind. He could renew your heart. He could give
you a new purpose. He can make you a new creation,
so that you have a new purpose and you know
that things are happening for a reason, for a purpose.
I don't know what that purpose is, John, I don't
(34:38):
know what it is. I don't know if you're gonna
speak to people that feel dislike you one day, if
you're gonna become someone that travels around in your wheelchair,
in your prosthetic legs, and you go, look, I was
where you are, and I could tell you how to
get out of this. I could tell you how your
guilt could be covered, how your sins can be forgiven.
I could tell you how to see your mom again.
(34:58):
Those are powerful things, John, And that's the offer of
the Gospel. You could choose to reject it. You could
choose right now to go and stay and wallow in
your depression and continue to perpetuate this evil, wickedness in
your heart, saying I hate myself, hate my life, hate everything.
Or you could turn from that and turn to Jesus
and go I want I want you, Jesus. I want
(35:20):
you cover me, clean me. Like Granger said, forgive me
and my guilt. Choose this day, John, when you hear
this podcast, choose this day whom you will serve, Jesus
or yourself. There is no other way. There is no
other way in this kind of situation. Hey, there's no way.
(35:43):
There's no other way for anyone listening. But it's just
clearer for John in this situation, he is out of options.
You everyone else listening, you have options. None of those
options are going to work. But John it's less. He
has less options, and so it's more clear that Jesus
is the way, the truth in the life. Caleb writes
in here saying, Hey, Granger, I have a question about
(36:05):
my future. I'm an eighteen year old boy living in
a small town in West Virginia. I was planning on
moving to Tampa Florida later this year to go to
Bible College, but I don't know exactly what to do
within ministry. I have a youth pastor job open to me,
but I want to do missionary work. Should I go
to Bible College or not? Hey, Caleb, appreciate the question. Man,
(36:30):
Let me kind of recap from my own thoughts. Here.
You are eighteen, small town West Virginia. I don't know.
I don't know what you're asking here, because to me
this seems so obvious. You plan on going to Bible College,
(36:57):
but it sounds like there's also a youth pastor job open,
but you also want to do missionary work, and I
want to know. I'm want to If I was with
you in the truck and you're asking me this question,
I would say, what does not going to Bible College
benefit any of this does? How does not going to
Bible College benefit any of these things for you? Not
(37:19):
everyone gets the opportunity to go to Bible college or seminary.
Not everyone gets that opportunity. I understand that, but it
sounds like you do have the opportunity and you're wondering
if you should skip it. And I would say this,
what if? What if you're saying this. You're saying, man,
(37:42):
I want to be a firefighter, and I want to
do well in firefighting. I want to move up the
ladder and one day I want to be a captain
of my unit. I have an opportunity right now to
go or go to a really good fire school and
it gives me a really good found foundation for firefighting.
(38:03):
Or I can go right into this station over here
that's hiring straight out of high school. But I'm not
sure because I have the job, I could just go
into the station and start working now. I would say, Caleb,
you need tools. If you have an opportunity to go
to the fire school, that's going to be your ticket
(38:25):
to growing in the station. If you have an opportunity
now to go to this Bible college, that's going to
bring more fruit to your missionary work. It's going to
bring more fruit to your potential youth pastor job. Hands down,
you just going into it is is going to hurt
(38:46):
your future in this most likely. And that's just that's
not like it's not like I'm giving you incredible wisdom
here that this is just playing the odds. You want more,
You want more on your side. You want to swing
that pendulum. You want as much weight on the scale
as you can to give you strength and a foundation
(39:07):
and knowledge as you go into whatever field you want
to go into when it comes to ministry, so absolutely
take the opportunity to go to Bible College. You could
do missionary work while you're in a Bible college. I'm doing.
(39:28):
I'm in seminary right now and I'm still doing. I
did three missionary trips this year while enrolled in seminary,
literally while doing seminary, doing seminary on the mission field,
and that's what I did three different times this year.
And the youth pastor job. A lot of seminarians I'm
(39:51):
working with right now already have pastoral jobs. So you
could certainly do both. You could do all three things.
You could be Bible College, you could be a youth
pastor and be a missionary, do missionary work short term
mission stuff all at the same time. You don't have to.
But the one thing I would recommend is doing the
Bible College. I don't know why you wouldn't do that,
(40:15):
So yeah, that's an easy one for me. Caleb. Thank
all you guys for emailing, and I have to say
as we are wrapping up this year. I believe this
is the last podcast of twenty twenty three for listening
real time. Thank you for listening for so long and
for so many episodes. If you're searching for something and
(40:38):
that's the reason you're listening to a podcast answering people's questions.
On December twenty sixth, if you're listening and you're searching
for something, remember that Jesus says, seeking, you will find. Knocking,
the door will be opened to you. So all you
searchers out there going, I wonder if there's something more
(40:58):
for me. I wonder if they're something more about this
life that I don't know yet. I wonder if there's
something there's a greater meaning, a greater purpose than just
waking up and going to work and dating a girl
and having a baby. There's got to be more to
it than this. I know there's something out there more.
I want to say. Jesus said, seek and you will find.
(41:21):
Thank you for being here and thank you for listening.
And I hope that I did give you the gospel
in this episode, and I hope that that matters to you,
and I hope you keep coming back. This is a
Tuesday now, but we usually put these out on Monday.
If you want to email me once again, my email
is podcast at grangersmith dot com. The next time you
hear me next year, Lord Willing, I will not have
(41:45):
such a scratchy voice. So I apologize these last few episodes.
I have been I've been rolling, I've been going, blowing
and going lately with a lot of stuff. So hopefully
I get a little bit of rest on this voice.
And I love you guys. Thanks for being here, Thanks
for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all
of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating
(42:07):
this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell
so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
YII
I have to wake up every day knowing I'm the
reason my mom is dead. What's up, everybody? Welcome back
to the podcast. I answer your questions on here. You
(00:20):
email me granger at Excuse Me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
I have switched that email and so if you, if
you've been paying attention in watching the you know the
last several episodes, I've switched it. Now it is podcast
at grangersmith dot com. You ask me a question and
we walk through whatever you want to talk about, whatever,
(00:43):
whatever is ailing you, whatever, whatever, whatever you want advice
in that you would ask a friend. That's what I
want to be for you in this in this podcast,
as a friend, someone you could sit in the truck
with and go, man, I've been kind of wrestling with
something and and I've listen, maybe I've listened to your
podcast for a bunch of times, and I've never asked anything.
(01:04):
And now I'm finally I finally have the nerve to
ask you this question. What would you do in this situation? Now,
sometimes I look back on these episodes and I go, yeah,
you know, I don't think I was right about that.
But that's not really the point. The point is what's
my what's my gut reaction to a friend? That's what
I want to be to you once again. It is
(01:25):
podcast at grangersmith dot com. The first question says, Hey, Granger,
just wondering what you would say to a mom considering
adding another baby to the family with how scary the
world is nowadays. It's me, she says, I'm the mom. Lol.
I'm a firm believer in Christ, and I know that
kids are a gift from God. But with how scary
(01:45):
the world is nowadays and everyone talking about the end
of times, it definitely has me on edge and second
guessing it. Any words of advice and do you believe
all kids are saved in the rapture? That's a lot
of questions. Thanks Granger, and God bless you and your family.
This question comes from Katie. I sure appreciate it, Katie,
I want to I want to dive in a little
bit because the question like this. The first thing that
(02:08):
the first thing that occurs to me is when you
say you're a firm believer in Christ, right, and yet
you're living fearfully. I want to recognize first of all
that those two things don't go well together. A firm
believer in Christ would not be fearful of anything that's
(02:30):
happening in this world. You shouldn't be. And in fact,
if you had the maximum amount of faith that you
could have the faith that could move mountains, that would
also equal zero fear, zero anxiety, total trust. Now you
don't have that, and I don't either. But that's the
(02:51):
goal as we're sanctified as Christians, as we move forward,
as we grow our faith, as we work it out
with fear and trembling. The Bible says, the more we
have faith, the more we know who God is as
he's represented in Christ, then the last fear we have.
It just so happens that I do want to recognize
(03:12):
that this kind of fear, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't
be a thing for you. There are certain things that
you could fear and I would let you get away with,
but this is something I'm not gonna let you get
away with. First of all, fearing the end of times
(03:32):
as a as a believer is an exciting thing. If
you're going, man, all these people talking about the end
of times? Is that what you said? You said? Yeah,
everyone talking about the end of times. It definitely has
me on edge and second guessing whether or not to
have a child. And then but the sentences before that,
you said, you're a firm believer in Christ. If you're
(03:53):
a firm believer in Christ and you're going, bring it on,
Come Lord Jesus. That's what the apostles did. That's what
they said in the Book of Acts and all their letters.
They were like, I hope he comes back. I hope
he comes back tomorrow. That would be what you're talking
about at the end of times. So why don't you
say that, Katie. It sounds like you don't trust in
(04:14):
what he said, what Jesus said. I'm not criticizing. I'm
just helping push you along, Like you're on the plank
here and I'm pushing you along going. Look, the idea
of having a baby in a scary world is it's
not strange for a mother to think that. I don't
(04:36):
blame you, but I do want to encourage you and go, man,
this is the time we need babies. This is the
time we need babies born in good faith with faithful mothers.
What's a world without without babies with faithful mothers, That's
a horrible world. Do you let me ask you a question,
do you just want to have a baby if the
(04:57):
world is all nice and pretty and rainbows, is that
what you want? Or do you want to raise a
child and go or raising child a child at a
time such as this. Do you not think that God
is providential and when you have a baby or not?
Do you think you get to decide this? That's another question.
I have a lot of questions for you. If we're
riding in the truck together, I go, first of all, Oh,
(05:17):
do you think you get to decide when a baby
comes or when it doesn't? Or is it God that
does that? Do you get to decide when if a
baby comes during good times or bad times? Or is
it God that does that? Do you get to decide
if it is good times or bad times? Or does
God decide that? Do you get to decide if it's
the end of times or not? Or does God decide that?
(05:39):
And all these questions equal, Now God decides it. God
is God is. This is the most powerful two words
you could possibly say. God is and you trust and
you go, yeah, yeahna have a baby if it is,
if it is the end of times, that's amazing. That's
my thought for you. It gets way deep I'll leave
(06:00):
it at that for the time being. Lindsey has the
next question here. It says, Hey, Granger, my mom has
drank for as long as I could remember. I'm twenty
seven and I've lost two grandparents to sirrhosis of the
liver due to their drinking, which were her dad and
her stepfather. My husband and I have a seven year
(06:22):
old son, and I'd love to have for her to
have a relationship with him. But the times that I
let her watch him overnight having me a bit have
bit me in the behind, she says, because I would
get a mother's intuition feeling and showing up at the
house and then she'd be passed out drunk. I haven't
(06:44):
let him stay there since, and this has been going
on for about four years. She begs me to let
him stay the night all the time, but when she asks,
I could tell that she's been drinking just by her
voice over the phone. My husband says that I need
to cut ties completely due to how she treated me
because I won't let him stay over there. How would
you handle this situation. I've explained this to her more
(07:06):
time than I can count, and I met my wits end.
I love your music and your family. I keep bringing
God to the people. Okay, Lindsey, I'm sorry you're in
this situation. This is a tough one. It's a tough situation,
but an easy answer. I'll say that if this is me,
you said, how would I handle this situation? If I
(07:27):
went over there, said, say, put myself in this scenario,
and this is my mom and she I go over
there and she's passed out drunk and she's watching Lincoln. Okay,
that's the last time Lincoln's going over there until she
proves and builds trust with me that she doesn't drink
(07:49):
when she's supervising my kids. Period into story. I don't
care if she's my mom, my sister, my wife, my babysitter.
I don't care who she is. If she's drinking, she's
not responsible enough to watch my child, and she's been
passed out drunk while babysitting, she's eliminated from the question.
(08:10):
There is no more question anymore. Hey Mom, you're not
watching my kid. You passed out drunk. I love you.
I forgive you, but forgiving you doesn't mean I trust you.
Trust is earned, and you have not earned my trust. Mom.
You want to watch my kid, and I hope you do.
I hope one day you build a relationship because I
desperately desire my kid to have a relationship with his grandma.
(08:34):
I desire that, mom, But as his mother, as his protector,
I cannot trust you because I have found you passed
out drunk. If you stop drinking, you go to rehab,
you go to some kind of treatment facility, and I
will support you and love you all the way through that.
And now I will not stop loving you because you're
(08:54):
my mom. But until you do that and come out
sober and collect many many months of sobriety, then maybe
I'll consider my son going to your house under someone
else's supervision. After that happens many many times and probably
years put together, I trust you alone with my child
after years of earning a trust. Nothing to do with forgiveness. Mom,
(09:18):
I forgive you, and I love you. It doesn't change
my love for you. I'm just saying, as a responsible parent,
I cannot leave my child here. Done. That's done. Lindsay
you don't need to because your husband said you want,
he wants you to cut ties. You don't have to
cut ties completely. That's not what this is about. This
(09:40):
is about being responsible parent. You could still talk on
the phone, you can still FaceTime, but your parent, your mom,
she doesn't get an opportunity to watch your kid. That's it.
That's it. Thanks for the email, and thanks for trust
to me with something that's a pretty serious situation. I'm
(10:03):
pretty sure that anyone that listens to this would answer
that in that same way. One has the next question.
It says, Hey, Granger, I love this podcast in your Wisdom.
I have a quick question. I'm a junior in college
and I recently met a super cool girl at work
who is a senior in high school. I'd love to
get to know her more and potentially take her out,
depending on how things go. I want to hear your
(10:25):
thoughts on age maturity gap. Is this unwise? Does the
Bible say anything on it? Reviewing your question, one, you're
a junior in high school. She's a senior in high school.
So let's say she is eighteen at the max and
(10:49):
you are, so you're twenty one. Well, that sounds about right.
You'd be a senior in college to be twenty two,
so you're three years older. Twenty one and eighteen is
not an issue to me. If she's seventeen. That is
an issue. Let's wait a few more months. I love
(11:13):
that you're asking the question. If you're not asking the question,
it sounds like this, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one. I'm
dating a seventeen year old and she is she's the
love of my life. She has a baby on the way.
These are sometimes these questions go and then it's like, buddy,
(11:35):
what do you want me to do for you? This
is already happened. This is already happening. So I love one.
I love that you're asking the question before this is happening.
You're saying, listen, look, I would love to get to
know her more and potentially take her out, depending on
how things go. And by the way, she's eighteen and
(11:57):
I'm twenty one, she's in high st going I'm in college.
Hey man, I like that. I like you're asking the question.
And I don't mind the age the age gap. No,
the Bible doesn't say anything about this. This is this
is uh where you're gonna have to use your own discernment,
in your own wisdom, and you're gonna have to realize
that high school and college these you're in a different
(12:19):
season than she is. You're you're you're in a season
of independence, and she's in a season of dependence. Most
likely she's living at home. She doesn't know what it's
like to have an apartment and pay bills. You do, You're,
you're in a completely different season. So my question is,
(12:39):
could you start to get her note to get to
know her more now? Taking things slowly, recognizing that she
has maybe what five months of high school left, and
then she's going to graduate, and then she's going to
be college age, and she's in. Now, she's in your
playbook right now, she's in. She understands things that you
under stand a lot more. So let's wait a little bit.
(13:04):
If you're asking me one, let's wait just a bit
and keep your eye on the situation. I love that
you're asking a question, and I think you're right on
the cusp of something beautiful. I really do. Podcast Today
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Can you believe that it's been twenty four years since
(13:24):
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Let me tell you this. Christmas has now come and
gone in twenty twenty three. And if you are now thinking,
oh man, I didn't get a present for that person
and for whatever reason, it didn't come in time, or
I didn't get a gift. Let me help you with this.
(15:54):
Let me get you a cameo. Go to cameo dot
com slash Granger Smith. That's me, and I will easily
get you a video message to whoever you want me
to send it to according to what you want me
to say. So it's like, hey, Mike told me that
he was laid on your present, but don't worry, because
I'm here to tell you it's all right. Mike's a
good dude. I'll send you a video message for whatever
(16:15):
you want me to say right here on my phone,
and then I send it straight to you, and then
you send it to whoever the recipient is of that
late presence. It doesn't have to be a Christmas present,
could be birthday, could be encouragement, It could be a
message to you, whatever it might be. I encourage you
to go check out cameo cameo dot com slash Granger
(16:35):
Smith or download the cameo app and search for me
Granger Smith, and let me send you a video message personalized.
Next question comes from Jordan says, hey Granger, my name
is Jordan Wilson. I just had my little guy Granger
actually named after you back in September. My question is this,
after having a baby, there are so many people who
have things to say about the way you're raising are
(16:58):
going to raise your child or children. How should I
overcome this fear of feeling like I'm failing my child
and not listening to everyone. As a Christian, I always
try to have a listening ear, she says, and I
wear my heart on my sleeve, but sometimes those opinions
that people have to say about me way very heavy
(17:20):
on my heart. I talked to God about it a lot,
and I would love to see an outsider's perspective. Thank
you so much for reading my email. You are truly
inspiring to me, and I couldn't think of a more
godly and truly humble man than name my son after God.
Bless happy holidays, Jordan. All Right, Jordan, thank you so
much for the email and for trusting me with a
(17:40):
good question. Let's see, you had a baby back in September.
That means you're kind of pulling up on five six
months old September, October, November. So yeah, you're sitting about
five months old, and as you're pregnant, you know you're
(18:02):
probably doing a lot of reading. And everyone has something
to say about this. Everyone's got oh, you need to
do this and make sure you disciplined this way, and
do you have a bass in that or a sleepsack
or you are are they going to the crib or
they sleep it in your bed? And everyone are you
gonna vaccinate? Are you gonna do this? And that? You know,
everyone has got this opinion. And what's beautiful about having
(18:28):
a baby and raising a baby is that God God
takes the time and spaces it out and the growth
of a child and the pregnancy itself. So for instance,
you get pregnant, you have nine months ish to get
(18:51):
things together, to start maybe planning financially, and then after
about what six months in you find out the gender
and so then you start picking out colors and you know,
getting the nursery ready, and then about you know, in
seven months, you find out more things about specifically about
(19:14):
the child, maybe the size, the weight, the mental development.
So you get a couple months then to make adjustments
on what you have, and then the baby comes right
and then the baby's immobile, it's nursing. It's just completely
dependent on you. It's not moving anywhere so you have
(19:37):
at that point, you know, six or seven months to
start getting the floor ready for when they're scooting, and
then as they start scooting, you have a few more
months to start preparing the house for a walker and
a baby that's pulling up on different furniture and putting
their finger in electrical sockets. But you it's always spaced
(19:58):
out in a way that you could just stay a
little bit ahead. You don't have to learn when you
get pregnant, for instance, you don't have to learn how
to handle a toddler, and when you have a toddler,
you don't have to immediately learn how to deal with
a teenager. You just got to stay a little bit ahead.
And it's spaced out in a beautiful way, and everyone's
going to have advice, and like, this is how you discipline.
(20:19):
You make sure you discipline your child this way, and
then slowly but surely, you recognize the personality of your
child and you recognize that, well, that was a good
idea to discipline that way, or that wasn't. My child
doesn't respond in that way, and you're getting reps. You
try it this way, it didn't work. You try it
another way. Now that works. They're sleeping this certain way.
(20:41):
Like some people go, hey, this this new bassinette that
moves around and like sings to your child or whatever.
Save your marriage. People will say like that, and you
could buy it or rent it or borrow it and
go it didn't even work at all. Thanks for your advice,
and I'm sure it worked great with you, but all
babies are different, and it didn't work with me. So
(21:03):
the beautiful thing is you're the mother, your hands on,
you're watching every day. You take advice with the grain
of salt. People that know and they've been there and
done that. Great, thank you so much for the advice.
But I don't have to hear it all because the
most important thing I could do is be watching and
observing my child and how they interact with the world
around them. So don't worry about trying to listen to
(21:27):
everything because you just can't possibly apply it all to
your own child. Just doesn't work that way, So just
relax and the fact that, hey, in a few more months,
your little granger is going to be crawling, and then
a few more months after that, Lord willing, he'll be walking,
and you'll just be observing literally baby steps as it's
(21:47):
happening in real time and making adjustments, staying one step ahead.
Next question comes from John, says, Dear mister Smith, my
name is John. I'm seven teen from Salem, Oregon. A
friend of mine suggested your podcast to me and said
that I should email you. So here it is. In
the summer of twenty twenty two, I was sixteen. I
(22:09):
was in the process of getting my license and my
mom was teaching me. During one of our practice drives,
we were on a back road and I took a
sharp turn too fast. This caused the car to go
through the guard rail and off an embankment. I woke
up in the er three days later and was told
I had suffered a severe spinal cord injury, which left
(22:30):
me paralyzed from the waist down. I am now in
a wheelchair. My mom was killed from the impact. My
mom was the most loving, kind and joyful person in
the world, and she didn't deserve to die. I would
trade our spots in an instant if it meant that
she could have lived, but it isn't that way, and
(22:53):
now I have to wake up every day knowing I'm
the reason my mom is dead. I'm the reason my
little sister won't get to grow up with her mommy.
I'm the reason my dad has to work sixty hours
a week to cover medical bills, support our family, and
raise a kid on his own. My life is a wreck.
(23:14):
It's hard to find a reason to get out of
bed in the morning, and depression is constant. How do
I even start to live again? John? Thank you for
emailing brother, heavy heavy stuff here, heavy stuff, and put
a timeline together in my head. You're seventeen. This happened
(23:36):
a little over a year ago, summer of twenty twenty two,
when you were sixteen. So I build the timeline in
my head because I want to know how much time
has gone by, how much time you've had to First
of all, grieve, And this is a multiple grieving process.
Most grieving processes are multi layered, right, And so you're
(23:59):
grieving your mother, You're grieving your legs, the use of
your legs. You're grieving the the idea that your sister
doesn't have a mother. You're grieving the idea that your
father doesn't have his wife, and that he's working to
pay for medical bills for you. So you're grieving your life.
You used to have that's a real thing, and that's
(24:22):
not a problem. It's not a wrong thing to grieve.
We wouldn't think there that here that you only grieved
your mother and that's the only thing you're sad about.
There's a lot of things that you can rightly be
sad about and rightly grieve about. Mourning is good, weeping
(24:43):
is good, Grieving is normal. What I don't like in
this email is depression, which you say is constant, because
depression is different than mourning and grieving and weeping and sadness.
Depression is self deprivation. Depression is turning the problem past
(25:06):
the situation and turning it and aiming it towards yourself,
and so then you're you're essentially decapitating yourself and you're
you're crushing yourself under your own weight. That's what this
depression is. Grieving and mourning is working out this this missing,
(25:30):
the the the the ability to look back on your
life that the way it was. You're working that out
of your system. Depression is not that. Depression is Depression
is taking that and applying it back into your system
and reliving it and living in it and living about
it and being it. That's what you're doing. I am.
(25:55):
I'm not for a second gonna pretend like I know
what you're going through. I'm not for a second going
to pretend like this is a light situation and going
to be easy to fix, not for a second. So
don't take anything that I say in that way. But
I do understand the guilt of a death because of you.
(26:21):
I understand that I've been through that. In fact, in
a couple of times, a couple times in my life
River and my dad. My mom was visiting me when
my dad died of a heart attack. So if she
hadn't been with me, she would have been with my dad,
(26:42):
probably would have been able to quickly diagnose the problem,
call nine to one one and they could have saved him,
maybe and probably. So I understand the idea that you're saying. Man,
if it wasn't for me, then my mom would still
be here. So that's normal. I hear you, and I'll
(27:03):
sit with you in that and just recognize that that's
a real thing you're feeling, and it's it's valid and
you're not alone. Right, But then we got to get
to the meat of this. We got to get we
have to get to the heart of this, John. This
is if you hear anything I say, if you've ever
(27:24):
heard my podcast, if you ever hear anything I've ever said,
hear this, hear this. The world will tell you, John,
you need to forgive yourself. The world will tell you, John,
you're not guilty. It's not your fault. That's what the
(27:48):
world will tell you. And they mean it with good
intentions and sincerity. And you're gonna hear that, and you're
gonna go. First of all, you're gonna go, what does
forgiving myself mean mean? And how do I do that?
And then you're gonna go, how does the world tell
me I'm not guilty? How does that work? How do
(28:10):
the mechanics of that practically work? I'm not guilty. I
was literally in the car driving. I literally wrecked and
my mom died. Who else's fault isn't is it? You're
just gonna say it's an accident. Well, I was the
one driving, not accidentally intentionally, And then the world's gonna
(28:35):
say it's not your fault, and you're gonna go, yeah,
I don't. I don't know who else's fault it could be.
And if mom died just for a freak accident, I
think that's a little worse because then it means it's meaningless,
which the heart of what I'm gonna tell you, John,
is that I don't believe anything is meaningless, and I
(28:57):
don't believe in accidents or coincidences at all. There's always
a fault, there's always an action, and there's always a reason.
I want to clear that up first, and I want
to say that kind of lay the groundwork because as
the world begins to pour over you, and I'm sure
they already have saying it's not your fault and this
is not your and I'm so sorry you don't blame yourself,
(29:21):
I want to I want to warn you that to me,
that perpetuates the depression because it starts to confuse you
and to how in the world do you even do that?
And then all counseling and therapy could walk you through
this guilt, this guilt and shame. You're shameful and you
gotta literally live with this pain and this shame, literally
(29:43):
in the loss of your legs physically, you're you're you're
living out this shame and this guilt, right, And so
this is where the Gospel of Christ comes in, and
this is what saved me, literally saved my life. If
from this kind of depression, Jesus comes into the world,
(30:08):
the beautiful creation that God made perfect, flawless humans come
in and we ruin it. We reject him, We deny
our creator. We try to fix things on our own,
and we make our art. We make gods of ourselves,
(30:28):
we make idols of ourselves, and we go I'm in control.
I am in control of my own destiny. I make
I create things. I make my life successful or not.
I'm the one that set my alarm. I'm the one
that goes out there and gets a job. I'm the
one that's learning how to walk with prosthetic legs. And
(30:51):
we reject God at every turn. So God enters creation
knowing this, knowing that we have rejected him, that we
have abandoned him, that we have lied, cheated, stole, hated,
denied everything, and our own conscience. As I'm telling you this,
(31:12):
if you think you're a good person, and you think
you deserve heaven because you're a good person, your own
conscience right now is giving you away. Because as I
say this, you think, yeah, I do have some problems,
don't I. I might be I might think I'm better
than my neighbor. I might think I'm better than that guy,
but I know I've messed up my fair share. So
(31:35):
your conscience is ratting you out right now. Jesus comes
in to reconcile sinners to himself, knowing that we could
not do it on our own, knowing that God, to
be in the presence of God would require perfection, and
we don't have it. So he comes in to reconcile
(31:56):
sinners to himself to bring people to God his peace.
He goes to the cross, and what did we do?
We kill him. That's what humans do. God came to
reconcile sinners to back to God, and we kill him,
the son of God. That's what we do. That kind
of sums up humanity. Three days later, he resurrects from
the dead, proving that God's ultimate sacrifice was accepted through Christ.
(32:27):
Jesus says, whoever believes in Me will not perish, will
have eternal life. Guess what else? He says, John, He says,
whoever believes in me, I will forgive them of their sins.
I will cover their guilt, I will cleanse them, I
will make them new. I will give a new heart.
(32:48):
To them. I will put my perfection on them, so
that when God the Father looks and judgment on a
sinful humanity, he sees Christ's perfection covering that person. So
that's what that's the offer of the gospel to you, John.
The Gospel, unlike the world, says, Yes, you are guilty, John, Yeah,
(33:10):
you messed up. No, you can't fix it. But believe
in me. You trust in me and the work I
did on the cross. Jesus says what I did for
you on the cross, John, as I took your sins
upon my body, my perfect body, took your sins, your wretchedness,
upon myself, and I took that as a sacrifice. So
(33:33):
you believe in me, and your sins are paid for.
You are forgiven, your guilt gone overlooked clean. You can't
forgive yourself. You can't say that you're not guilty, but
Jesus can't. That's the gospel. I want you to think
about what I said and dive into. This is your
(33:55):
only chance, John, I'm telling you, and I'm begging you,
this is your only chance. You will not heal from
something this tragic. There's no amount of therapy or secular
counseling that's gonna fix this for you. There is nobody
that's gonna do some kind of mind trick on you
to where you start thinking, I guess you know what.
I guess I am pretty good. Don't have my legs anymore,
(34:17):
don't have my mom, But I guess I'm good. That's
not gonna happen. But Jesus can heal. Jesus can renew
your mind. He could renew your heart. He could give
you a new purpose. He can make you a new creation,
so that you have a new purpose and you know
that things are happening for a reason, for a purpose.
I don't know what that purpose is, John, I don't
(34:38):
know what it is. I don't know if you're gonna
speak to people that feel dislike you one day, if
you're gonna become someone that travels around in your wheelchair,
in your prosthetic legs, and you go, look, I was
where you are, and I could tell you how to
get out of this. I could tell you how your
guilt could be covered, how your sins can be forgiven.
I could tell you how to see your mom again.
(34:58):
Those are powerful things, John, And that's the offer of
the Gospel. You could choose to reject it. You could
choose right now to go and stay and wallow in
your depression and continue to perpetuate this evil, wickedness in
your heart, saying I hate myself, hate my life, hate everything.
Or you could turn from that and turn to Jesus
and go I want I want you, Jesus. I want
(35:20):
you cover me, clean me. Like Granger said, forgive me
and my guilt. Choose this day, John, when you hear
this podcast, choose this day whom you will serve, Jesus
or yourself. There is no other way. There is no
other way in this kind of situation. Hey, there's no way.
(35:43):
There's no other way for anyone listening. But it's just
clearer for John in this situation, he is out of options.
You everyone else listening, you have options. None of those
options are going to work. But John it's less. He
has less options, and so it's more clear that Jesus
is the way, the truth in the life. Caleb writes
in here saying, Hey, Granger, I have a question about
(36:05):
my future. I'm an eighteen year old boy living in
a small town in West Virginia. I was planning on
moving to Tampa Florida later this year to go to
Bible College, but I don't know exactly what to do
within ministry. I have a youth pastor job open to me,
but I want to do missionary work. Should I go
to Bible College or not? Hey, Caleb, appreciate the question. Man,
(36:30):
Let me kind of recap from my own thoughts. Here.
You are eighteen, small town West Virginia. I don't know.
I don't know what you're asking here, because to me
this seems so obvious. You plan on going to Bible College,
(36:57):
but it sounds like there's also a youth pastor job open,
but you also want to do missionary work, and I
want to know. I'm want to If I was with
you in the truck and you're asking me this question,
I would say, what does not going to Bible College
benefit any of this does? How does not going to
Bible College benefit any of these things for you? Not
(37:19):
everyone gets the opportunity to go to Bible college or seminary.
Not everyone gets that opportunity. I understand that, but it
sounds like you do have the opportunity and you're wondering
if you should skip it. And I would say this,
what if? What if you're saying this. You're saying, man,
(37:42):
I want to be a firefighter, and I want to
do well in firefighting. I want to move up the
ladder and one day I want to be a captain
of my unit. I have an opportunity right now to
go or go to a really good fire school and
it gives me a really good found foundation for firefighting.
(38:03):
Or I can go right into this station over here
that's hiring straight out of high school. But I'm not
sure because I have the job, I could just go
into the station and start working now. I would say, Caleb,
you need tools. If you have an opportunity to go
to the fire school, that's going to be your ticket
(38:25):
to growing in the station. If you have an opportunity
now to go to this Bible college, that's going to
bring more fruit to your missionary work. It's going to
bring more fruit to your potential youth pastor job. Hands down,
you just going into it is is going to hurt
(38:46):
your future in this most likely. And that's just that's
not like it's not like I'm giving you incredible wisdom
here that this is just playing the odds. You want more,
You want more on your side. You want to swing
that pendulum. You want as much weight on the scale
as you can to give you strength and a foundation
(39:07):
and knowledge as you go into whatever field you want
to go into when it comes to ministry, so absolutely
take the opportunity to go to Bible College. You could
do missionary work while you're in a Bible college. I'm doing.
(39:28):
I'm in seminary right now and I'm still doing. I
did three missionary trips this year while enrolled in seminary,
literally while doing seminary, doing seminary on the mission field,
and that's what I did three different times this year.
And the youth pastor job. A lot of seminarians I'm
(39:51):
working with right now already have pastoral jobs. So you
could certainly do both. You could do all three things.
You could be Bible College, you could be a youth
pastor and be a missionary, do missionary work short term
mission stuff all at the same time. You don't have to.
But the one thing I would recommend is doing the
Bible College. I don't know why you wouldn't do that,
(40:15):
So yeah, that's an easy one for me. Caleb. Thank
all you guys for emailing, and I have to say
as we are wrapping up this year. I believe this
is the last podcast of twenty twenty three for listening
real time. Thank you for listening for so long and
for so many episodes. If you're searching for something and
(40:38):
that's the reason you're listening to a podcast answering people's questions.
On December twenty sixth, if you're listening and you're searching
for something, remember that Jesus says, seeking, you will find. Knocking,
the door will be opened to you. So all you
searchers out there going, I wonder if there's something more
(40:58):
for me. I wonder if they're something more about this
life that I don't know yet. I wonder if there's
something there's a greater meaning, a greater purpose than just
waking up and going to work and dating a girl
and having a baby. There's got to be more to
it than this. I know there's something out there more.
I want to say. Jesus said, seek and you will find.
(41:21):
Thank you for being here and thank you for listening.
And I hope that I did give you the gospel
in this episode, and I hope that that matters to you,
and I hope you keep coming back. This is a
Tuesday now, but we usually put these out on Monday.
If you want to email me once again, my email
is podcast at grangersmith dot com. The next time you
hear me next year, Lord Willing, I will not have
(41:45):
such a scratchy voice. So I apologize these last few episodes.
I have been I've been rolling, I've been going, blowing
and going lately with a lot of stuff. So hopefully
I get a little bit of rest on this voice.
And I love you guys. Thanks for being here, Thanks
for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all
of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating
(42:07):
this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell
so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
YII
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