July 31, 2023 • 36 mins
Natalie Robinson used to have fun - taking her kids to the zoo or the waterpark - but recently life started getting in the way of her being playful and goofy. Then she heard two episodes of The Happiness Lab in which Dr Laurie Santos wrestled with exactly the same dilemma.
Inspired, Natalie got together with the friends in her running club to throw themselves into fun interventions - funterventions.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pushkin. When I was ten years old, I took part
in the New Bedford High School Drama Club's production of
Peter Pan the Musical. I was obsessed with Peter Pan,
(00:36):
the boy who never grows old, the boy who got
to enjoy the fun and games of childhood forever. Now
that I'm in my forties, watching old videos of me
belting out songs from that musical is kind of sobering.
My ten year old self believed that she'd follow Peter
Pan's wise example and never lose the playfulness of you.
(01:00):
But for the last few years, I was allowing the
stresses of adulthood to prevent me from having fun. So
I decided to take on a very personal question. I
spent a few episodes of this podcast trying to inject
a bit more fun back into my adult life. I
did things that pushed me outside my comfort zone, like
taking a surfing lesson, and things that were just mindless fun.
(01:21):
I just want to be with you, like singing karaoke.
I guess you never felt that way. I carried out
a fun audit, looking at the kinds of things I
like doing and asking myself exactly why I enjoy those
yeah turns? Out. I get a kick out of doing
absurd stuff with big groups of friends. My fun factors
also include dressing up and goofing around, hence my love
(01:43):
of Halloween parties and eighty singalongs. What w And? After
those two episodes, I've tried to prioritize having more fun.
I started to regularly stage little fun interventions, or fun
preventions as I call them. I plan little trips, play
silly games, and generally look for odd but enjoyable adventures
(02:03):
to have with the people I care about. I search
for things that are social, things that make me forget
my worries, that make time fly by, and often playing
silly games winds up being the easiest option. They swim
in a whale, you know a fish Yep. This is
heads Up. It's a guessing game where you place your
phone against your forehead with the screen facing your friends.
(02:25):
They then give you clues so that you can guess
the name of the animal, object, or person that's shown
on the screen. Australia Koala, Yeah, but today I'm all
playing Heads Up with my friends. Has a pouch for you?
I'm in a recording studio in Franklin, Massachusetts, sitting across
from three people I barely know who have taken the
message of Funterventions to heart. One Horn Rhino, Natalie Robinson,
(02:52):
Lisa Whalen, and Jen Moran are all members of a
running club for women that became so much more than that.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
We are bound by running, and then we became friends.
This is Natalie, and we have gone through, like I
feel like every life thing. We've had parents die, we've
had divorce, we've had engagements, and different than other friendships
we all have in town, we're not connected from neighborhoods
(03:18):
or kids, sports or school, but it's truly just this
great group of people that came together starting by running,
and then it just grew and grew and grew.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
And part of that growth involved Natalie's love of a
certain podcast. Yep. Natalie is a Happiness Lab fan. She
loves all our episodes, but my two shows about losing
touch with fun really hit home.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I remember in your podcast you were saying, like, I'm
a fun person, but I don't really have that much fun.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And I sit on the.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Couch and I watch TV, and yeah, that's relaxing, but
it's not really fun. And I found like when the
kids were little, it was so easy to have fun,
like you take them to the zoo, you take them
to the water park, and then when they get older,
there's less things to do as adults that are that
pure fun. And so when we heard your podcast, we
(04:06):
were like, yeah, are we fun? Like do we even
have fun anymore?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Like? Let's have more fun. And so the members of
the running club threw themselves into staging regular and often
quite elaborate funterventions. In fact, these ladies were so inventive,
so organized, and so disciplined about adding fun to their lives.
I had to share their story with you, and I
started by asking Jen Moran how fun and especially fun
with friends had been squeezed out of their busy lives.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
We are balancing so much when you have a young family,
and a lot of us were working as well, and
we were getting up at five ten in the morning
because we wanted to get a run in, and then
not everybody could run, and so we were trying to
catch up with each other kind of almost in between,
we would joke around that we needed minutes from each
of the run so that we could send it around
so we could all stay in touch with what was
(04:51):
going on because everyone was just so busy with their lives,
and I think friendship was so important to all of us,
but prioritizing and making the time to focus on that
is just as important. And that's I feel like what
we've started to intentionally do.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now, let's talk about the beginning of the club, because
there was you know, your busy moms and things like that.
How did the running club get started? Nata? So it
actually started.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
One of our friends started a like a town running
club different than the people that we run with now somehow,
so that sort of fizzled, but a group of those
people kept running together, and then it would be like
my daughter was in elementary school and I was chatting
with someone and she was like, wait, you run, Yeah,
we run, all of us run. Come meet us for
(05:36):
a run. And it used to be like people were nervous.
I remember one of our friends in the group was like,
I was so nervous the first time I ran with
you guys, And like I'm the Midwest person who's always
like where are you from?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Like what do you do?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Blah blah blah, Like I always kind of chat and
make the newbie feel welcome, and then they would bring
people I don't know, we just sort.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Of word of mouth.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
We found out other people also ran, and we would
say meet us. So we just send out a group
email or text saying this time, this place, whoever can
go goes. And there would be times when there'd be
ten of us running, but then there'd be times when
there would be three or four. But everyone knew that
there was always going to be a run on the
weekend or in the morning, and you could just join in.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And now it's funny because in the beginning we used
to run a lot like we would do like a
ten mile run, and sometimes there would only be one
other person on this ten mile run, and in your
head the night before, you're thinking, what am I going
to talk to her about? For ten miles? I don't
have that much to say, and almost a nervousness. And
now you would never be nervous to be with one
(06:41):
on one with anybody in the group like we are
just so like all very connected and a lot of
our fun in the beginning because we were busy and
it was a big deal to like escape for the
day your responsibilities as a mom, Like we would do
the Harpoon five miler and we would do road races
and then we would go out for drinks or lunch
(07:02):
or something after and be like together for the day.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
That was really like our beginnings of fun the story
because it seems like there is some worry about, like
will this actually be really enjoyable? I don't really know
this person. But that's really what the science shows about
the power of social connection, right, is that like, it's
going to be more enjoyable than you think it's going
to be.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Well, that's actually one of the surprising things about the
funder vention.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
For me.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
It's not so much the activity, but sometimes we'll throw
a date out and how we started it was if
you're the person doing the fund prevention, you say, it's
going to be this date. This is what we're doing,
and maybe everybody can come, maybe only two people can come.
And what I love is I'll be out at a
funtervention and it'll be with two people in the group
(07:49):
that I wouldn't normally spend the day with, and you
get to know them so much better and you realize
that different combinations really get along great and have so
much fun, and so it's very different experience and when
the whole group is there.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
So that was surprising to me and just for some facts.
So how big is the running group now? Like? How
many people?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So there's thirteen of us now we started as fifteen
two moved away, so there's thirteen of us that are
on this running group text where we talk about just
about every everything but also run and walk and plan
activities and now we do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
The funny and the running group is the fundarevention group,
Like it's the whole running group. And I think we're
always like if we're telling stories to our family or
other friends, we're always like, oh, my running group, my
running group, my running friends.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Who it is even only half of us from that? Yeah,
exactly exactly. And so how did so I'm curious, like
who the person was in the running group that first
mentioned my podcast or get into the podcast now everybody's
pointing it out. Yeah, and so how did you find
out about the show?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I saw you on the Today Show and I was
slightly obsessed, and I just like, I I love being
a lot of us do like want to be our
best self basically and always looking for self improvement, Like
we all sort of have our roles in the running
group and also in the fun direventions and I'm always
(09:15):
sending people podcasts like something that sparks my interest that
I think people will like, and yours.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Was often one that I said.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
But the Fun Dirrevention one, I was like, oh my gosh,
we need to do that, Like, we need to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
This is awesome. You spoke at the PC graduation and
she even to you, you broke in with you. So
I'm curious what you what you remember from the front
Divention episode, like what was so compelling about it when
you first heard it?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
What I loved was when you said, so many times
people say, oh that was so fun, but was it
really fun?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And what does fun mean to you?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And going through that fun audit of like think of
the times that you were having the most fun and
what were you doing, who were you with, where were
you and you can start to see the things that
really are fun to you. And we kind of hook
that and ran with it with this Fun Prevention, because,
as Lisa said, everybody gets a chance to pick something
(10:14):
and it's what's fun to them that they either want
to do because they've never done before, or they want
to share with others something they have done. And so
I think that and then I just loved because I
loved being goofy and having fun. I loved when you're
talking about the surfing and I could just picture it.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And then we did crosscually do the surfing, but we
just got the.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Weather right well, and I don't think everybody.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Was up for Yeah, that was a little dangerous, I think,
but when we did dangerous, it was just a silly
podcast done even for me.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I did do cross country skiing and Natalie and I
laughed the whole time because we were always falling down
and people are trying to help us and we didn't care.
And it was That's kind of resonated with me when
you said that about just being goofy and not caring
if you fail, just getting out there and doing it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Any other parts that resonated, or the other thing that.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
When I listened to it, I thought about the world
isn't a really exciting place, and there's so much any
fun things to do, and you get caught in your
normal and your routine. And I think, you know, if
you think about thirteen people with families and busy schedules,
like we would say we should go celebrate you know,
Jen's birthday or something, or we should do something, and
(11:24):
it's like everyone's competing schedules that you could ever find
a date that would work for everybody, and.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Then we would move it out and move it out.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And I was like, we should just like pick a
month and just you do what works for you and
set something up that you think seems fun and don't
don't clear it with anybody, don't see who can just
be Like people aren't really ever selfish, like be do
something that's completely you've been wanting to try that works
for your schedule.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Whoever can come, can come.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I also really liked in the podcast talking about like
losing track of time and flow, like that's how I
feel when I cooked, and I love cooking, So I
love that feeling.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
And I also liked the idea of like connection.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And I think almost anything, even if it's not really
like fun, can be fun if you're with the right people.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Totally, totally.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, the playfulness, connection, flow combination I think is very unique.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's hard to get, but to get all them, yeah, exactly,
it really is.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I also liked what you said in one of the
interviews in the podcast about little delights, and so I
actually started a notebook of little delights, but I love
that idea that like even just simple things that happen
or you see that you can say, wow, how amazing
is that and just take a minute to think about
(12:48):
it and record it.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
And you mentioned doing the fun audit. Is that something
you all did with the group or that you did.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So it tried to do it and then I gave up.
I think like it's hard.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It's hard. Sometimes it's hard to really remember the kinds
of things that you know you enjoyed and you had
fun doing. I've talked to other people who've done the
fun audits and they say, it's just kind of embarrassing
because the things I'm talking about were like when I
was twenty two, and you know, you're in midlife now,
and so it feels embarrassing to feel like you didn't
do that many fun things for a while. But I'm
(13:19):
curious what was on your fun auditgen.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
My fun audit, my fun factors were activities, some type
of laughing, goofy with friends games. So from my fun prevention,
I picked a scavenger hunt, which has all those elements,
And I think I like those types of things where
you just can have fun and be goofy. But it's
activity based too, and there's some you know thinking and
(13:44):
strategy and.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It was a game. Yeah, that was a really fun one.
It was good. And so Lisa, what were the rules
of the fun prevention? Because it kind of had some
structure too, right, it did a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
I think at first we all kind of freaked out
and thought we had to have these really cool, you know,
complex things, and then we kind of settled into no,
it's just something you really just wanted to do and
haven't done it. And then you found out that someone
else was like, oh my gosh, I always wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
That fits your months.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
You pick the activity and you pick the date that
works for you, and some months everybody can do it.
Some months, three or four people can do it. And
you know, initially, of course we all start to feel
bad and well, maybe next Saturdays better, and we have
to stop ourselves because we made these rules at the beginning.
And then really, it could be anything We've gone to
(14:37):
Block Island because someone it's one of their happy places
and they wanted everybody else to experience that, or walks
along the beach and then beer at Cisco Brewery and
New Bedford.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, so let's walk through the arranging. Yeah, let's walk
through some of the favorites of it. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
So some of the unique ones we did was we
did a salt cave.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Salt cave sounds amazing. Why is a salt cave?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Though, I think it's kind of a new concept. It's
a room that is covered with salt. It's low lit,
and it's requiet and it's meditative.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
We did do that, and there's a lot of giggling.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
We've gotten kicked out of a lot of spats because
it's supposed to be the quiet room and we're talking
and giggling.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
We also did wreaths around the holidays, and that was
another fun. It was fun to line them all up
and take pictures. We did floral arranging. There's a lot
more to it than I think we realized, which was
very fun.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Were people good at it or was that something you
had to engage some self compassion for.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
What was interesting is even though we were all told
what to do, everybody's came out different and the different.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So what was the first fun prevention the first one
that you all went on together, Natalie.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I think it was ver Nice's actually, So we did
a friend had a house in the cape in Falmouth
and had enough bikes for all of us where people
brought bikes and we just took a simple bike ride
along her favorite path, went out for lunch and drinks after,
and then biked back.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And what was the reaction that, like how many people
did it? Kind of at first like six to eight
maybe six A good.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I feel like that one too, was like before it
was really official, if that makes any sense, Like she
sort of got it going. It was sort of like
like a little more loose before we really like assigned months.
So the first one with like the assigned months was
the Salt Cave, and that I want to say it
was almost all of us and it was in Situate
(16:37):
and it was a friend's.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Relative.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Our friend owned it, and so she wanted to give
her some exposure and bring this group group to the
Salt Cave. And it was just very relaxing, something that
no one had done, and really we all enjoyed it.
And then I guess it's going to keep coming back.
Like everything we do, we end up then going out
after like for food or drink or something. So then
(17:00):
we did the Salt Cave and then we had brunch
at a really nice restaurant, And.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Have you tried to incorporate this idea of like playful flow.
I know you get the connection a lot because you're
all together, but I.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Think some activities are more playful than others. But I
think the connection the flow because we always find new
things to talk about or there's something that someone's going
through that they want to share. And we're also I
think all like fun and like to be goofy and
just enjoy each other.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Scavenger Hunt was definitely a lot of playfulness, like because
we engaged with the public, like we had to, like
I remember like one of them was like clucking around
a crad, like pretending you're a duck and you have
to cluck around people. Or we had to get people
to do a congo line with us, and we did
it and we have like videos and pictures to prove it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Like that was the most playful, and it was competitive
because we're two teams, we are very one, which we did.
Being playful and finding flow are two key components and
selecting a good fund prevention activity. But often when we
think about what might be fun, were tempted to return
to familiar pleasures. Hobbies are sports that we've long mastered.
(18:15):
But when I first embarked on my own fender vention,
I picked a new activity that I was bound to
suck at and one that took me to a location
where I felt very much out of place, the beach.
I went surfing. I'm also very happy it doesn't seem
like me have this one very far out because the
waves were out there and they're like move drown it. It
feels like I could walk round. After the break, I'll
(18:35):
talk to Natalie, Lisa and Jen about the fun that
you can have by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
The three friends will also share their top tips for
making fun a regular part of your routine. The Happiness
Lab will be right back a few years ago. If
(18:57):
someone had asked me what I did for fun, I'd
probably have struggled to come up with a good answer.
After a moment, I might say something like, uh, I
don't know. I guess I just watch Netflix.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
There's nothing wrong with curlling up on the sofa to
binge your favorite series. It's familiar and comfortable, but research
shows there's real value in being adventurous and pushing the
boundaries of what you're willing to do in pursuit of fun.
I took a surfing lesson with friends and was fully
expecting it to be miserable. But despite all my fears
of drowning, shark attacks and looking dumb, I had an
(19:30):
absolute blast. Was the best thing I've ever done that
was super fun. I was really scared when I was.
When the members of a Massachusetts running club began injecting
more fun into their lives, they too decided to try
some pretty unlikely activities, including picking up lethal weapons.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
So the one that I think we had no idea
how hard it was going to be was when we
went and learned to shoot crossbows.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
None of us had ever done it.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
It was so out of all of our element but
we all were terrible and we laughed, and the guys
that taught us didn't know what to make of us
at the beginning, and then at the end we were
all laughing and like great friends and enjoyed it. And
I did not hit the bulls eye once or even
the target.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
The picture and the dots were all over. They were
very worried about our safety the whole time. So, Natalie,
you mentioned another one that pushed your boundaries. So we
had one.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It was like a pilates kind of gym class and
everybody was like, I'm scared, but I'll do it. Like
all of us were like, I'm scared. I'm not going
to be very good at this. So that was one
that was completely like pushed us out of our comfort
zone and it was fun and it was Some of
us weren't as sore the next day as we thought
we would be, so we are convinced we didn't do
(20:46):
it right, not that we are like in great shape.
And then cross country skiing, like Jen said, was another
one where that was mine and I was I've always
wanted to try it, and when we planned it, all
the lessons were full, so we just had to wing
it and we didn't know what we were doing. Some
(21:06):
people did, Jen and I did not, and but it
was fun, you know, it was just playful, silly falling,
and it made for me. It made me want to
go back and actually take a lesson so that I
could really learn how to do it and maybe do
it more.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I love this. I do that. There are activities that
people thought I'm going to hate this, I don't want
to do it, but I'll go anyway, you know, there's
this kind of help that the group gives you to
give you a little bit more confidence or maybe I'll
try it, you know, because everyone else is doing it.
I mean, what is that done for your confidence levels?
I imagine that trying these things out when you thought, oh,
I'm going to just be terrible at this, I'm going
to suck, and then it was okay, Like that does
(21:45):
that help you do new things in the future. I
think it does.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I feel like we no one's judging anyone. We all
just want to experience it together, and some of us
will be better than others. There are definitely some more
natural athletes than others in the group, but no one
feels embarrassed or feels bad if they're not good. We
just laugh and just enjoy the experience together. And so
I think that give you the confidence to say yes
(22:10):
when someone brings up another idea that maybe goat yoga
was the other one that just came up recently that
hasn't been scheduled yet, but some people are like, oh,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But I'll do it, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I think some of it too, is no one wants
to miss it, even if you're not interested in the event.
But you're free, you'll go because you want to be
with everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And I think that's the kind of thing where it
can that benefit of social connection can really push you
to take part in these activities that you might not
have gone to, but itevably are going to be more
fun than you think. I think this is a big
problem with the mind as that we assume, oh, that'll
feel like too much work, or I won't enjoy that,
or I won't be good at that, and that can
cause us not to go. But when you have the
kind of camaraderie, maybe slash pressure of the group, like
(22:55):
you kind of have to go to these things.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Exactly, and some of us are just better at finding
these events and our better planners, and others of us
like myself are just always have my hands up, yep,
I'll do it, Yep, I'll do it, or followers. So
for me it's great because I don't I don't innately
find these activities like you guys are so good at that,
but I will definitely always join in.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And we've done more than even just activities. We've gone
to plays together. We have a book club that the
running group is does every month, so we also like
to listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And so why did you need the Fun Prevention Group
if you already were doing these things that were really
pleasurable and fun.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Jen, I think we wanted to be organized about it
and make sure that each month we.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Could have a fun activity to do together.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
So it was really putting a little bit more structure
around this connection of women and creating opportunities to do
fun things together.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And you might think that that structure makes it, you know,
more rigid, maybe less fun, but talk about why the
structure was really essential for everyone to get together. I
just think the structure.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
The structure was essential because so easy for the month
to get away from you, and we have really carved
out the time and and like you said, even if
it's something you're not that interested in doing, it's like
I am not missing out. All my friends are going
to be together, and I'll move heaven and Earth in
my schedule to make sure that I can be there.
(24:24):
And I have never regretted doing that in order to
be at one of them or to be with these guys.
So it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And I think that what we try to do is
schedule it almost a month or two out so that
people can save the date. I think what becomes hard
just in life generally, is everybody has a lot of commitments.
We all have families and friends, and so by having
it be structured with save the dates, people market and
(24:54):
it's that day is our Funterrevention day, and more people
can go that way.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
It also seems like it's a pretty forgiving process, right,
Like I imagine if you had somebody in the Fundervention
group that just for whatever reason couldn't come for a bunch,
they don't get like kicked out of the funder vention
in that ever, So I want to talk about some
of the benefits that you all got out of this
funtervention process. I'm curious if there was some extra social
benefit that you got out of doing the funterventions together.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
There's a beauty when you're in small groups. Sometimes like
we're this big group and that big group is awesome,
but there's certain times we have three tables and you're
maybe only at a table with four and it might
not be the person that you're usually with. It just
gives you a chance to connect a little bit more,
a little bit deeper with somebody in the group.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
And so talk about the playful part of the Funder
ventions because so many of the activities you took part in,
whether it's the scavenger hunt or you know, kind of
like the flower arranging, which is you know, maybe you're
supposed to be serious, but it sounds like you all
had fun like that. Playfulness seems to be a big
part of it. Was that playfulness something that you were
getting a lot of in your regular life or is
(25:59):
it something that you really got out of the fundrevention.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Maybe, Lisa, I would say the playfulness I got out
of the Funder vention because you don't in your regular life,
you know, you just try. I'd always be doing the
right thing, making the right decisions. But when we were
doing like say the flower arranging, we were like stealing
flowers out of other people's arrangements because theirs looked better
and I didn't have as many, and laughing about it.
(26:23):
So I definitely think it's it's helped me be more
silly and stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, Natalie, well, we did one.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Of the most fun I thought one of the most
fun ones was a cooking class with a chef in Boston.
It was like we made food together, but there were
other people at the event. It was not a private event,
and I'm sure for those other people they were like, Wow,
these people like because we are fun and we're laughing
(26:51):
and we're goofing with each other and we're silly and
we're goofing with the chef, and I just kind of
you feel for the other people in the group.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
But there is definitely like a silliness to our group.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I think in like that fun audit of the podcast,
when you think about it and you really think about
in your adult life in Franklin, the most fun you've
had and the things that you've had fun at, it's
usually these people in this group are present, maybe with
their husbands as well, maybe just them, but they're a
(27:27):
big component in our fun.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I also think there's a playfulness in the activity activity,
even if it's not really a playful activity. So, as
Lisa was saying with the flower ranging, I remember my
friend Carrie's flowers. She was moving them around so much
that they started to like literally disintegrate, and we were
making fun of her because these beautiful flowers are falling apart,
(27:50):
and hers is wilting and ours there's all looking great.
And so you can just make any activity really playful
and I think that that's what we found with a
lot of the things that we do, we just start
laughing about whether it's in the salt cave or bike
riding or cross country skiing, when we're all falling down.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You can make it fun. And I'm curious if that
fund really helps you get through the other more difficult times.
You know, you talked about how this group has been
around through all kinds of big life changes and stresses.
Any good examples of how the fun got you through
a tough time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I think there's a bonding that by participating in so
many different types of activities and really putting yourself out
there with a group of people. I think we put
ourselves out there even when we have hard times, and
we rally around each other. And there have been a
lot of instances where people have needed support and we
also are the first to kind of come together and
(28:45):
say what can we do for that person. One of
our friends had, you know, a foot surgery, and we
were like, what can we do to help her? Even
if it's just sitting and watching TV with her or
bringing her food. We've all had family things that have happened,
and no one's trying to pretend their life is something
that it's not. We're very honest about what's going on
(29:05):
and asking for advice and getting support.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And I think even like one of the people in
our group one time we were walking and running and
she was like, I feel this group is the happiest
group of people I know in this town, and we're
very real. And some people would say, when you're running,
you can't really lie. I don't know, it's like a saying,
but it's hard to not tell the truth when you're running.
Kind of the truth comes out, but it's no like
(29:28):
keeping up with the Jones'. No, like people say, oh
my son did this, my daughter did that, my husband
did that. Like no one's pretending that their life is
anything other than what it really is. And I think we,
like Jen just said, we come together, Like Jen is
more like the Sunshine Committee person, and I feel like
I'm more the doom and Gloom committee. Like when someone's like,
(29:51):
we had a friend whose mom died and I just
remember being at the service and looking at the pew
and it was like ten running people. It was just
a really solid supporting show of love and we're there
for everybody.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
But I think that's a beautiful part, right, is that
if you're engaging in social connection during the FUNTERVENTIONCE, that's
fun and you're getting social connection, but that connection is
real connection, right. Those are the people that are going
to show up when you're in a moment of grief
or when you're struggling and you need someone to help you,
when you break your foot and so on. So it's
not just kind of like, oh connection, you know, this
fleeting thing you know while you're flower arranging, it becomes
(30:31):
the kind of thing that forms these really deep, real
friendships over time.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Oh, people wait to come to the group and they'll
have an issue if it's one of the keys, you know,
because we're our kids are sort of we hit every age,
every grade, and you know, you'll come and you'll be like, okay,
so this is what's going on. And then people with
older kids will be like, the same thing happened, this
is what we did. This is all broad is closer,
(30:56):
and the connectivity is like a couple of us have
run a marathon, and when you're training for a marathon,
we'll wait at different points and I'll run five with you,
I'll run the next eight with you, and we like
tap o and we each do. Like when that person
has to do a thirteen mile run, they don't do
a mile of it alone. I can't do a marathon,
(31:17):
but I can do five or six miles. So we
all do that, and that just is our friendship, I think,
in our group. So when we decided to have fun together,
everybody sort of I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
In, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I wanted to add to what Natalie said at the
funeral that she was referring to that was such a
powerful moment when I just felt when I looked across
and saw a whole pew of all of us there
for our friend when our mom passed. It was just
a moment where like it just hits you of how
important that friendship is, you know. And I think that
(31:50):
meant a lot to her to look out and see
all of us across a pew like that.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
And so it has all these benefits, but it can
be hard to do. Mostly, I think the biggest constry
on other people engaging in fun is just time, you know.
So for listeners who think that this sounds amazing, but
there's no way they could fit this into their schedule,
and there's way their friends could fit this into their schedule.
What advice do you have about how to get it started?
I would just say start small.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It doesn't have to be every month, it doesn't have
to be a group of thirteen people. If you have
a close group of four friends and you make a
point of even four times a year, each person schedules something,
and it's something that doesn't have to even be expensive.
A lot of the things that we did were actually
no cost at all and somewhat pretty nominal cost and
(32:37):
just getting out there and finding something new and different
that you want to explore or do together.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
So another thing that comes up is that people start
to worry about whether their preferences are like weird in
some way. You know, I have my own fun factors,
but they might not be your fun factors, right, And
so how do you navigate that sort of thing? Do
you vet the ideas ahead of time or how do
you figure that out?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Jen, We really don't, And I do think you have
to be up for this idea of a fun prevention
is something that maybe you don't think you're interested in,
but you get there and it actually is more fun
than you thought it was going to be. And so
being open to that opportunity even if it's not something
that would have necessarily been on your fun list, it
might be on your fun list after the event.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah. I think that's part of the message of all
the things you've been saying, is that you know, nine
times out of ten, maybe you know ninety nine times
out of one hundred, it's going to be more fun
than you expect. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
There was one exception where there was an email about
what people do goat yoga.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
And I do think a lot it was boat yoga
or a boat ride, and we were like, boat ride.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah. I'm also curious how the other people in your
life react to this, right, and I imagine many of
you have like husbands and kids, and you're all off
doing these fun things. It sounds like they might not
be invited to, Like have they ever had any reaction
to this, or do they get inspired to do their
own fund prevention.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
We have had friends that have when we post a picture,
have commented, I want to do fun preventions, and we
do know that they've started to set them up with
some of their friends. Sometimes people ask if they can
join us, but we've really left it with the running group.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Our kids definitely love it.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
My girls and their friends all follow us on social
media and they cannot wait for the pictures to come
out of the fun prevention that we just did. And sometimes,
I mean they're in their twenties, they'll go and do
the things that we did, and so we're like iconstantly.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So it seems like your fund inventions are inspiring them
that fun stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah, to go to the same places and do the
same things.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So yeah, I think the reaction I.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Get like if I'm telling someone like a work person
or and I start to talk about like our group
and the number and the closeness and the connection, even
before I get to like the fun prevention part of it,
just who we all are, their first reaction is like
I don't have that, Like, oh, that sounds so nice,
And we just happen to have a lot of people.
(34:59):
But you could do it with any number of people.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
And I don't even think you have to do it
with just friends when you think about it. If you
have extended family members, you could do it with cousins,
you could do it even with family co workers, yes, couples.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
It sounds like the key is just that you have
to put in a little bit of work, right. It
takes a little bit of structure.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
And then the fun part is Jen has it all chronicled.
Sometimes we'll just go out and we'll sit and we'll
go back through a lot like we did today, and
we'll laugh again about them.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
So a little bit of structure it goes a long
way and they're really fun, fun memories. So do you
want to hear how we ended up with the three
of us?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
We had to like basically, everybody wanted to do this,
like the whole group.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
You would have had thirteen of us if possible.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Everybody wanted to everybody like so we shout out, that's
what makes us us like all of us.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
We got to give them a shot. Especially yeah, oh yeah,
they all want to come all day to day. Good
luck you guys, extra special thanks to the entire Fun
Invention group, not just Lisa, Jen and Natalie, but Denise, Carrey, Ellen, Jamie,
Peggy Morey, Jill Kim, Teresa Karen and Paula. Hey. All right,
more heads up if we can get it to work again?
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Oh wow, Hannah Montana, Oh uh, Wiley Cyrus.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Oh he's wrestler.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
The Runners of Franklin, Massachusetts are such a great group
of friends and they've really taken the science of well
being and the lessons of the Happiness Lab to heart.
And if you missed the two episodes about My own Funtervention,
not to worry because we'll be returning these two episodes
to the top of our feed next week
Pushkin. When I was ten years old, I took part
in the New Bedford High School Drama Club's production of
Peter Pan the Musical. I was obsessed with Peter Pan,
(00:36):
the boy who never grows old, the boy who got
to enjoy the fun and games of childhood forever. Now
that I'm in my forties, watching old videos of me
belting out songs from that musical is kind of sobering.
My ten year old self believed that she'd follow Peter
Pan's wise example and never lose the playfulness of you.
(01:00):
But for the last few years, I was allowing the
stresses of adulthood to prevent me from having fun. So
I decided to take on a very personal question. I
spent a few episodes of this podcast trying to inject
a bit more fun back into my adult life. I
did things that pushed me outside my comfort zone, like
taking a surfing lesson, and things that were just mindless fun.
(01:21):
I just want to be with you, like singing karaoke.
I guess you never felt that way. I carried out
a fun audit, looking at the kinds of things I
like doing and asking myself exactly why I enjoy those
yeah turns? Out. I get a kick out of doing
absurd stuff with big groups of friends. My fun factors
also include dressing up and goofing around, hence my love
(01:43):
of Halloween parties and eighty singalongs. What w And? After
those two episodes, I've tried to prioritize having more fun.
I started to regularly stage little fun interventions, or fun
preventions as I call them. I plan little trips, play
silly games, and generally look for odd but enjoyable adventures
(02:03):
to have with the people I care about. I search
for things that are social, things that make me forget
my worries, that make time fly by, and often playing
silly games winds up being the easiest option. They swim
in a whale, you know a fish Yep. This is
heads Up. It's a guessing game where you place your
phone against your forehead with the screen facing your friends.
(02:25):
They then give you clues so that you can guess
the name of the animal, object, or person that's shown
on the screen. Australia Koala, Yeah, but today I'm all
playing Heads Up with my friends. Has a pouch for you?
I'm in a recording studio in Franklin, Massachusetts, sitting across
from three people I barely know who have taken the
message of Funterventions to heart. One Horn Rhino, Natalie Robinson,
(02:52):
Lisa Whalen, and Jen Moran are all members of a
running club for women that became so much more than that.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
We are bound by running, and then we became friends.
This is Natalie, and we have gone through, like I
feel like every life thing. We've had parents die, we've
had divorce, we've had engagements, and different than other friendships
we all have in town, we're not connected from neighborhoods
(03:18):
or kids, sports or school, but it's truly just this
great group of people that came together starting by running,
and then it just grew and grew and grew.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
And part of that growth involved Natalie's love of a
certain podcast. Yep. Natalie is a Happiness Lab fan. She
loves all our episodes, but my two shows about losing
touch with fun really hit home.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I remember in your podcast you were saying, like, I'm
a fun person, but I don't really have that much fun.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And I sit on the.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Couch and I watch TV, and yeah, that's relaxing, but
it's not really fun. And I found like when the
kids were little, it was so easy to have fun,
like you take them to the zoo, you take them
to the water park, and then when they get older,
there's less things to do as adults that are that
pure fun. And so when we heard your podcast, we
(04:06):
were like, yeah, are we fun? Like do we even
have fun anymore?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Like? Let's have more fun. And so the members of
the running club threw themselves into staging regular and often
quite elaborate funterventions. In fact, these ladies were so inventive,
so organized, and so disciplined about adding fun to their lives.
I had to share their story with you, and I
started by asking Jen Moran how fun and especially fun
with friends had been squeezed out of their busy lives.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
We are balancing so much when you have a young family,
and a lot of us were working as well, and
we were getting up at five ten in the morning
because we wanted to get a run in, and then
not everybody could run, and so we were trying to
catch up with each other kind of almost in between,
we would joke around that we needed minutes from each
of the run so that we could send it around
so we could all stay in touch with what was
(04:51):
going on because everyone was just so busy with their lives,
and I think friendship was so important to all of us,
but prioritizing and making the time to focus on that
is just as important. And that's I feel like what
we've started to intentionally do.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now, let's talk about the beginning of the club, because
there was you know, your busy moms and things like that.
How did the running club get started? Nata? So it
actually started.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
One of our friends started a like a town running
club different than the people that we run with now somehow,
so that sort of fizzled, but a group of those
people kept running together, and then it would be like
my daughter was in elementary school and I was chatting
with someone and she was like, wait, you run, Yeah,
we run, all of us run. Come meet us for
(05:36):
a run. And it used to be like people were nervous.
I remember one of our friends in the group was like,
I was so nervous the first time I ran with
you guys, And like I'm the Midwest person who's always
like where are you from?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Like what do you do?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Blah blah blah, Like I always kind of chat and
make the newbie feel welcome, and then they would bring
people I don't know, we just sort.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Of word of mouth.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
We found out other people also ran, and we would
say meet us. So we just send out a group
email or text saying this time, this place, whoever can
go goes. And there would be times when there'd be
ten of us running, but then there'd be times when
there would be three or four. But everyone knew that
there was always going to be a run on the
weekend or in the morning, and you could just join in.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And now it's funny because in the beginning we used
to run a lot like we would do like a
ten mile run, and sometimes there would only be one
other person on this ten mile run, and in your
head the night before, you're thinking, what am I going
to talk to her about? For ten miles? I don't
have that much to say, and almost a nervousness. And
now you would never be nervous to be with one
(06:41):
on one with anybody in the group like we are
just so like all very connected and a lot of
our fun in the beginning because we were busy and
it was a big deal to like escape for the
day your responsibilities as a mom, Like we would do
the Harpoon five miler and we would do road races
and then we would go out for drinks or lunch
(07:02):
or something after and be like together for the day.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
That was really like our beginnings of fun the story
because it seems like there is some worry about, like
will this actually be really enjoyable? I don't really know
this person. But that's really what the science shows about
the power of social connection, right, is that like, it's
going to be more enjoyable than you think it's going
to be.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Well, that's actually one of the surprising things about the
funder vention.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
For me.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
It's not so much the activity, but sometimes we'll throw
a date out and how we started it was if
you're the person doing the fund prevention, you say, it's
going to be this date. This is what we're doing,
and maybe everybody can come, maybe only two people can come.
And what I love is I'll be out at a
funtervention and it'll be with two people in the group
(07:49):
that I wouldn't normally spend the day with, and you
get to know them so much better and you realize
that different combinations really get along great and have so
much fun, and so it's very different experience and when
the whole group is there.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
So that was surprising to me and just for some facts.
So how big is the running group now? Like? How
many people?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So there's thirteen of us now we started as fifteen
two moved away, so there's thirteen of us that are
on this running group text where we talk about just
about every everything but also run and walk and plan
activities and now we do Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
The funny and the running group is the fundarevention group,
Like it's the whole running group. And I think we're
always like if we're telling stories to our family or
other friends, we're always like, oh, my running group, my
running group, my running friends.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Who it is even only half of us from that? Yeah,
exactly exactly. And so how did so I'm curious, like
who the person was in the running group that first
mentioned my podcast or get into the podcast now everybody's
pointing it out. Yeah, and so how did you find
out about the show?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I saw you on the Today Show and I was
slightly obsessed, and I just like, I I love being
a lot of us do like want to be our
best self basically and always looking for self improvement, Like
we all sort of have our roles in the running
group and also in the fun direventions and I'm always
(09:15):
sending people podcasts like something that sparks my interest that
I think people will like, and yours.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Was often one that I said.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
But the Fun Dirrevention one, I was like, oh my gosh,
we need to do that, Like, we need to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
This is awesome. You spoke at the PC graduation and
she even to you, you broke in with you. So
I'm curious what you what you remember from the front
Divention episode, like what was so compelling about it when
you first heard it?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
What I loved was when you said, so many times
people say, oh that was so fun, but was it
really fun?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And what does fun mean to you?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And going through that fun audit of like think of
the times that you were having the most fun and
what were you doing, who were you with, where were
you and you can start to see the things that
really are fun to you. And we kind of hook
that and ran with it with this Fun Prevention, because,
as Lisa said, everybody gets a chance to pick something
(10:14):
and it's what's fun to them that they either want
to do because they've never done before, or they want
to share with others something they have done. And so
I think that and then I just loved because I
loved being goofy and having fun. I loved when you're
talking about the surfing and I could just picture it.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And then we did crosscually do the surfing, but we
just got the.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Weather right well, and I don't think everybody.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Was up for Yeah, that was a little dangerous, I think,
but when we did dangerous, it was just a silly
podcast done even for me.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I did do cross country skiing and Natalie and I
laughed the whole time because we were always falling down
and people are trying to help us and we didn't care.
And it was That's kind of resonated with me when
you said that about just being goofy and not caring
if you fail, just getting out there and doing it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Any other parts that resonated, or the other thing that.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
When I listened to it, I thought about the world
isn't a really exciting place, and there's so much any
fun things to do, and you get caught in your
normal and your routine. And I think, you know, if
you think about thirteen people with families and busy schedules,
like we would say we should go celebrate you know,
Jen's birthday or something, or we should do something, and
(11:24):
it's like everyone's competing schedules that you could ever find
a date that would work for everybody, and.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Then we would move it out and move it out.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And I was like, we should just like pick a
month and just you do what works for you and
set something up that you think seems fun and don't
don't clear it with anybody, don't see who can just
be Like people aren't really ever selfish, like be do
something that's completely you've been wanting to try that works
for your schedule.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Whoever can come, can come.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I also really liked in the podcast talking about like
losing track of time and flow, like that's how I
feel when I cooked, and I love cooking, So I
love that feeling.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
And I also liked the idea of like connection.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And I think almost anything, even if it's not really
like fun, can be fun if you're with the right people.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Totally, totally.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, the playfulness, connection, flow combination I think is very unique.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's hard to get, but to get all them, yeah, exactly,
it really is.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I also liked what you said in one of the
interviews in the podcast about little delights, and so I
actually started a notebook of little delights, but I love
that idea that like even just simple things that happen
or you see that you can say, wow, how amazing
is that and just take a minute to think about
(12:48):
it and record it.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
And you mentioned doing the fun audit. Is that something
you all did with the group or that you did.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So it tried to do it and then I gave up.
I think like it's hard.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It's hard. Sometimes it's hard to really remember the kinds
of things that you know you enjoyed and you had
fun doing. I've talked to other people who've done the
fun audits and they say, it's just kind of embarrassing
because the things I'm talking about were like when I
was twenty two, and you know, you're in midlife now,
and so it feels embarrassing to feel like you didn't
do that many fun things for a while. But I'm
(13:19):
curious what was on your fun auditgen.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
My fun audit, my fun factors were activities, some type
of laughing, goofy with friends games. So from my fun prevention,
I picked a scavenger hunt, which has all those elements,
And I think I like those types of things where
you just can have fun and be goofy. But it's
activity based too, and there's some you know thinking and
(13:44):
strategy and.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It was a game. Yeah, that was a really fun one.
It was good. And so Lisa, what were the rules
of the fun prevention? Because it kind of had some
structure too, right, it did a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
I think at first we all kind of freaked out
and thought we had to have these really cool, you know,
complex things, and then we kind of settled into no,
it's just something you really just wanted to do and
haven't done it. And then you found out that someone
else was like, oh my gosh, I always wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
That fits your months.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
You pick the activity and you pick the date that
works for you, and some months everybody can do it.
Some months, three or four people can do it. And
you know, initially, of course we all start to feel
bad and well, maybe next Saturdays better, and we have
to stop ourselves because we made these rules at the beginning.
And then really, it could be anything We've gone to
(14:37):
Block Island because someone it's one of their happy places
and they wanted everybody else to experience that, or walks
along the beach and then beer at Cisco Brewery and
New Bedford.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, so let's walk through the arranging. Yeah, let's walk
through some of the favorites of it. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
So some of the unique ones we did was we
did a salt cave.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Salt cave sounds amazing. Why is a salt cave?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Though, I think it's kind of a new concept. It's
a room that is covered with salt. It's low lit,
and it's requiet and it's meditative.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
We did do that, and there's a lot of giggling.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
We've gotten kicked out of a lot of spats because
it's supposed to be the quiet room and we're talking
and giggling.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
We also did wreaths around the holidays, and that was
another fun. It was fun to line them all up
and take pictures. We did floral arranging. There's a lot
more to it than I think we realized, which was
very fun.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Were people good at it or was that something you
had to engage some self compassion for.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
What was interesting is even though we were all told
what to do, everybody's came out different and the different.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So what was the first fun prevention the first one
that you all went on together, Natalie.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I think it was ver Nice's actually, So we did
a friend had a house in the cape in Falmouth
and had enough bikes for all of us where people
brought bikes and we just took a simple bike ride
along her favorite path, went out for lunch and drinks after,
and then biked back.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And what was the reaction that, like how many people
did it? Kind of at first like six to eight
maybe six A good.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I feel like that one too, was like before it
was really official, if that makes any sense, Like she
sort of got it going. It was sort of like
like a little more loose before we really like assigned months.
So the first one with like the assigned months was
the Salt Cave, and that I want to say it
was almost all of us and it was in Situate
(16:37):
and it was a friend's.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Relative.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Our friend owned it, and so she wanted to give
her some exposure and bring this group group to the
Salt Cave. And it was just very relaxing, something that
no one had done, and really we all enjoyed it.
And then I guess it's going to keep coming back.
Like everything we do, we end up then going out
after like for food or drink or something. So then
(17:00):
we did the Salt Cave and then we had brunch
at a really nice restaurant, And.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Have you tried to incorporate this idea of like playful flow.
I know you get the connection a lot because you're
all together, but I.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Think some activities are more playful than others. But I
think the connection the flow because we always find new
things to talk about or there's something that someone's going
through that they want to share. And we're also I
think all like fun and like to be goofy and
just enjoy each other.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Scavenger Hunt was definitely a lot of playfulness, like because
we engaged with the public, like we had to, like
I remember like one of them was like clucking around
a crad, like pretending you're a duck and you have
to cluck around people. Or we had to get people
to do a congo line with us, and we did
it and we have like videos and pictures to prove it.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Like that was the most playful, and it was competitive
because we're two teams, we are very one, which we did.
Being playful and finding flow are two key components and
selecting a good fund prevention activity. But often when we
think about what might be fun, were tempted to return
to familiar pleasures. Hobbies are sports that we've long mastered.
(18:15):
But when I first embarked on my own fender vention,
I picked a new activity that I was bound to
suck at and one that took me to a location
where I felt very much out of place, the beach.
I went surfing. I'm also very happy it doesn't seem
like me have this one very far out because the
waves were out there and they're like move drown it. It
feels like I could walk round. After the break, I'll
(18:35):
talk to Natalie, Lisa and Jen about the fun that
you can have by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
The three friends will also share their top tips for
making fun a regular part of your routine. The Happiness
Lab will be right back a few years ago. If
(18:57):
someone had asked me what I did for fun, I'd
probably have struggled to come up with a good answer.
After a moment, I might say something like, uh, I
don't know. I guess I just watch Netflix.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
There's nothing wrong with curlling up on the sofa to
binge your favorite series. It's familiar and comfortable, but research
shows there's real value in being adventurous and pushing the
boundaries of what you're willing to do in pursuit of fun.
I took a surfing lesson with friends and was fully
expecting it to be miserable. But despite all my fears
of drowning, shark attacks and looking dumb, I had an
(19:30):
absolute blast. Was the best thing I've ever done that
was super fun. I was really scared when I was.
When the members of a Massachusetts running club began injecting
more fun into their lives, they too decided to try
some pretty unlikely activities, including picking up lethal weapons.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
So the one that I think we had no idea
how hard it was going to be was when we
went and learned to shoot crossbows.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
None of us had ever done it.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
It was so out of all of our element but
we all were terrible and we laughed, and the guys
that taught us didn't know what to make of us
at the beginning, and then at the end we were
all laughing and like great friends and enjoyed it. And
I did not hit the bulls eye once or even
the target.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
The picture and the dots were all over. They were
very worried about our safety the whole time. So, Natalie,
you mentioned another one that pushed your boundaries. So we
had one.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It was like a pilates kind of gym class and
everybody was like, I'm scared, but I'll do it. Like
all of us were like, I'm scared. I'm not going
to be very good at this. So that was one
that was completely like pushed us out of our comfort
zone and it was fun and it was Some of
us weren't as sore the next day as we thought
we would be, so we are convinced we didn't do
(20:46):
it right, not that we are like in great shape.
And then cross country skiing, like Jen said, was another
one where that was mine and I was I've always
wanted to try it, and when we planned it, all
the lessons were full, so we just had to wing
it and we didn't know what we were doing. Some
(21:06):
people did, Jen and I did not, and but it
was fun, you know, it was just playful, silly falling,
and it made for me. It made me want to
go back and actually take a lesson so that I
could really learn how to do it and maybe do
it more.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I love this. I do that. There are activities that
people thought I'm going to hate this, I don't want
to do it, but I'll go anyway, you know, there's
this kind of help that the group gives you to
give you a little bit more confidence or maybe I'll
try it, you know, because everyone else is doing it.
I mean, what is that done for your confidence levels?
I imagine that trying these things out when you thought, oh,
I'm going to just be terrible at this, I'm going
to suck, and then it was okay, Like that does
(21:45):
that help you do new things in the future. I
think it does.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I feel like we no one's judging anyone. We all
just want to experience it together, and some of us
will be better than others. There are definitely some more
natural athletes than others in the group, but no one
feels embarrassed or feels bad if they're not good. We
just laugh and just enjoy the experience together. And so
I think that give you the confidence to say yes
(22:10):
when someone brings up another idea that maybe goat yoga
was the other one that just came up recently that
hasn't been scheduled yet, but some people are like, oh,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But I'll do it, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I think some of it too, is no one wants
to miss it, even if you're not interested in the event.
But you're free, you'll go because you want to be
with everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And I think that's the kind of thing where it
can that benefit of social connection can really push you
to take part in these activities that you might not
have gone to, but itevably are going to be more
fun than you think. I think this is a big
problem with the mind as that we assume, oh, that'll
feel like too much work, or I won't enjoy that,
or I won't be good at that, and that can
cause us not to go. But when you have the
kind of camaraderie, maybe slash pressure of the group, like
(22:55):
you kind of have to go to these things.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Exactly, and some of us are just better at finding
these events and our better planners, and others of us
like myself are just always have my hands up, yep,
I'll do it, Yep, I'll do it, or followers. So
for me it's great because I don't I don't innately
find these activities like you guys are so good at that,
but I will definitely always join in.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
And we've done more than even just activities. We've gone
to plays together. We have a book club that the
running group is does every month, so we also like
to listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And so why did you need the Fun Prevention Group
if you already were doing these things that were really
pleasurable and fun.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Jen, I think we wanted to be organized about it
and make sure that each month we.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Could have a fun activity to do together.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
So it was really putting a little bit more structure
around this connection of women and creating opportunities to do
fun things together.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And you might think that that structure makes it, you know,
more rigid, maybe less fun, but talk about why the
structure was really essential for everyone to get together. I
just think the structure.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
The structure was essential because so easy for the month
to get away from you, and we have really carved
out the time and and like you said, even if
it's something you're not that interested in doing, it's like
I am not missing out. All my friends are going
to be together, and I'll move heaven and Earth in
my schedule to make sure that I can be there.
(24:24):
And I have never regretted doing that in order to
be at one of them or to be with these guys.
So it's definitely worth it.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And I think that what we try to do is
schedule it almost a month or two out so that
people can save the date. I think what becomes hard
just in life generally, is everybody has a lot of commitments.
We all have families and friends, and so by having
it be structured with save the dates, people market and
(24:54):
it's that day is our Funterrevention day, and more people
can go that way.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
It also seems like it's a pretty forgiving process, right,
Like I imagine if you had somebody in the Fundervention
group that just for whatever reason couldn't come for a bunch,
they don't get like kicked out of the funder vention
in that ever, So I want to talk about some
of the benefits that you all got out of this
funtervention process. I'm curious if there was some extra social
benefit that you got out of doing the funterventions together.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
There's a beauty when you're in small groups. Sometimes like
we're this big group and that big group is awesome,
but there's certain times we have three tables and you're
maybe only at a table with four and it might
not be the person that you're usually with. It just
gives you a chance to connect a little bit more,
a little bit deeper with somebody in the group.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
And so talk about the playful part of the Funder
ventions because so many of the activities you took part in,
whether it's the scavenger hunt or you know, kind of
like the flower arranging, which is you know, maybe you're
supposed to be serious, but it sounds like you all
had fun like that. Playfulness seems to be a big
part of it. Was that playfulness something that you were
getting a lot of in your regular life or is
(25:59):
it something that you really got out of the fundrevention.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Maybe, Lisa, I would say the playfulness I got out
of the Funder vention because you don't in your regular life,
you know, you just try. I'd always be doing the
right thing, making the right decisions. But when we were
doing like say the flower arranging, we were like stealing
flowers out of other people's arrangements because theirs looked better
and I didn't have as many, and laughing about it.
(26:23):
So I definitely think it's it's helped me be more
silly and stuff.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, Natalie, well, we did one.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Of the most fun I thought one of the most
fun ones was a cooking class with a chef in Boston.
It was like we made food together, but there were
other people at the event. It was not a private event,
and I'm sure for those other people they were like, Wow,
these people like because we are fun and we're laughing
(26:51):
and we're goofing with each other and we're silly and
we're goofing with the chef, and I just kind of
you feel for the other people in the group.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
But there is definitely like a silliness to our group.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I think in like that fun audit of the podcast,
when you think about it and you really think about
in your adult life in Franklin, the most fun you've
had and the things that you've had fun at, it's
usually these people in this group are present, maybe with
their husbands as well, maybe just them, but they're a
(27:27):
big component in our fun.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I also think there's a playfulness in the activity activity,
even if it's not really a playful activity. So, as
Lisa was saying with the flower ranging, I remember my
friend Carrie's flowers. She was moving them around so much
that they started to like literally disintegrate, and we were
making fun of her because these beautiful flowers are falling apart,
(27:50):
and hers is wilting and ours there's all looking great.
And so you can just make any activity really playful
and I think that that's what we found with a
lot of the things that we do, we just start
laughing about whether it's in the salt cave or bike
riding or cross country skiing, when we're all falling down.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You can make it fun. And I'm curious if that
fund really helps you get through the other more difficult times.
You know, you talked about how this group has been
around through all kinds of big life changes and stresses.
Any good examples of how the fun got you through
a tough time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I think there's a bonding that by participating in so
many different types of activities and really putting yourself out
there with a group of people. I think we put
ourselves out there even when we have hard times, and
we rally around each other. And there have been a
lot of instances where people have needed support and we
also are the first to kind of come together and
(28:45):
say what can we do for that person. One of
our friends had, you know, a foot surgery, and we
were like, what can we do to help her? Even
if it's just sitting and watching TV with her or
bringing her food. We've all had family things that have happened,
and no one's trying to pretend their life is something
that it's not. We're very honest about what's going on
(29:05):
and asking for advice and getting support.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And I think even like one of the people in
our group one time we were walking and running and
she was like, I feel this group is the happiest
group of people I know in this town, and we're
very real. And some people would say, when you're running,
you can't really lie. I don't know, it's like a saying,
but it's hard to not tell the truth when you're running.
Kind of the truth comes out, but it's no like
(29:28):
keeping up with the Jones'. No, like people say, oh
my son did this, my daughter did that, my husband
did that. Like no one's pretending that their life is
anything other than what it really is. And I think we,
like Jen just said, we come together, Like Jen is
more like the Sunshine Committee person, and I feel like
I'm more the doom and Gloom committee. Like when someone's like,
(29:51):
we had a friend whose mom died and I just
remember being at the service and looking at the pew
and it was like ten running people. It was just
a really solid supporting show of love and we're there
for everybody.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
But I think that's a beautiful part, right, is that
if you're engaging in social connection during the FUNTERVENTIONCE, that's
fun and you're getting social connection, but that connection is
real connection, right. Those are the people that are going
to show up when you're in a moment of grief
or when you're struggling and you need someone to help you,
when you break your foot and so on. So it's
not just kind of like, oh connection, you know, this
fleeting thing you know while you're flower arranging, it becomes
(30:31):
the kind of thing that forms these really deep, real
friendships over time.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Oh, people wait to come to the group and they'll
have an issue if it's one of the keys, you know,
because we're our kids are sort of we hit every age,
every grade, and you know, you'll come and you'll be like, okay,
so this is what's going on. And then people with
older kids will be like, the same thing happened, this
is what we did. This is all broad is closer,
(30:56):
and the connectivity is like a couple of us have
run a marathon, and when you're training for a marathon,
we'll wait at different points and I'll run five with you,
I'll run the next eight with you, and we like
tap o and we each do. Like when that person
has to do a thirteen mile run, they don't do
a mile of it alone. I can't do a marathon,
(31:17):
but I can do five or six miles. So we
all do that, and that just is our friendship, I think,
in our group. So when we decided to have fun together,
everybody sort of I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
In, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I wanted to add to what Natalie said at the
funeral that she was referring to that was such a
powerful moment when I just felt when I looked across
and saw a whole pew of all of us there
for our friend when our mom passed. It was just
a moment where like it just hits you of how
important that friendship is, you know. And I think that
(31:50):
meant a lot to her to look out and see
all of us across a pew like that.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
And so it has all these benefits, but it can
be hard to do. Mostly, I think the biggest constry
on other people engaging in fun is just time, you know.
So for listeners who think that this sounds amazing, but
there's no way they could fit this into their schedule,
and there's way their friends could fit this into their schedule.
What advice do you have about how to get it started?
I would just say start small.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It doesn't have to be every month, it doesn't have
to be a group of thirteen people. If you have
a close group of four friends and you make a
point of even four times a year, each person schedules something,
and it's something that doesn't have to even be expensive.
A lot of the things that we did were actually
no cost at all and somewhat pretty nominal cost and
(32:37):
just getting out there and finding something new and different
that you want to explore or do together.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
So another thing that comes up is that people start
to worry about whether their preferences are like weird in
some way. You know, I have my own fun factors,
but they might not be your fun factors, right, And
so how do you navigate that sort of thing? Do
you vet the ideas ahead of time or how do
you figure that out?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Jen, We really don't, And I do think you have
to be up for this idea of a fun prevention
is something that maybe you don't think you're interested in,
but you get there and it actually is more fun
than you thought it was going to be. And so
being open to that opportunity even if it's not something
that would have necessarily been on your fun list, it
might be on your fun list after the event.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah. I think that's part of the message of all
the things you've been saying, is that you know, nine
times out of ten, maybe you know ninety nine times
out of one hundred, it's going to be more fun
than you expect. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
There was one exception where there was an email about
what people do goat yoga.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
And I do think a lot it was boat yoga
or a boat ride, and we were like, boat ride.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah. I'm also curious how the other people in your
life react to this, right, and I imagine many of
you have like husbands and kids, and you're all off
doing these fun things. It sounds like they might not
be invited to, Like have they ever had any reaction
to this, or do they get inspired to do their
own fund prevention.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
We have had friends that have when we post a picture,
have commented, I want to do fun preventions, and we
do know that they've started to set them up with
some of their friends. Sometimes people ask if they can
join us, but we've really left it with the running group.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Our kids definitely love it.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
My girls and their friends all follow us on social
media and they cannot wait for the pictures to come
out of the fun prevention that we just did. And sometimes,
I mean they're in their twenties, they'll go and do
the things that we did, and so we're like iconstantly.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So it seems like your fund inventions are inspiring them
that fun stuff.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah, to go to the same places and do the
same things.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So yeah, I think the reaction I.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Get like if I'm telling someone like a work person
or and I start to talk about like our group
and the number and the closeness and the connection, even
before I get to like the fun prevention part of it,
just who we all are, their first reaction is like
I don't have that, Like, oh, that sounds so nice,
And we just happen to have a lot of people.
(34:59):
But you could do it with any number of people.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
And I don't even think you have to do it
with just friends when you think about it. If you
have extended family members, you could do it with cousins,
you could do it even with family co workers, yes, couples.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
It sounds like the key is just that you have
to put in a little bit of work, right. It
takes a little bit of structure.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
And then the fun part is Jen has it all chronicled.
Sometimes we'll just go out and we'll sit and we'll
go back through a lot like we did today, and
we'll laugh again about them.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
So a little bit of structure it goes a long
way and they're really fun, fun memories. So do you
want to hear how we ended up with the three
of us?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
We had to like basically, everybody wanted to do this,
like the whole group.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
You would have had thirteen of us if possible.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Everybody wanted to everybody like so we shout out, that's
what makes us us like all of us.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
We got to give them a shot. Especially yeah, oh yeah,
they all want to come all day to day. Good
luck you guys, extra special thanks to the entire Fun
Invention group, not just Lisa, Jen and Natalie, but Denise, Carrey, Ellen, Jamie,
Peggy Morey, Jill Kim, Teresa Karen and Paula. Hey. All right,
more heads up if we can get it to work again?
Speaker 4 (36:15):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Oh wow, Hannah Montana, Oh uh, Wiley Cyrus.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Oh he's wrestler.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
The Runners of Franklin, Massachusetts are such a great group
of friends and they've really taken the science of well
being and the lessons of the Happiness Lab to heart.
And if you missed the two episodes about My own Funtervention,
not to worry because we'll be returning these two episodes
to the top of our feed next week
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