#85 Cayla George - How My Sister-In-Law Gifted Me A Baby - Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm doing my best to give you a seductive wink.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
They can only mean one thing.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
My God, I want to take you into my bedroom
and have my way with you. Not again, Just kidding.
We've got a bonus episode.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
We do, yes, IZI Pro basketballer Kayla George has stopped
by just before she lands in Paris for the twenty
twenty four Olympics.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Not sure how she managed to fit us in because
she lives a pretty hectic life playing for the women's
at National Basketball League. She's also mum to beautiful little Pearl,
who's flown more flights than any adult I know following
her mum across the globe supporter on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Female pro athletes live pretty hectic lives and sometimes it
can be a little bit difficult for them to find
time with their kids.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Which is why Kayla's story becoming a mother is so special.
She was gifted a child by a family member. But
this is a story that's not unique to the Torri
Strait Islander community.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
For sure, it's a crazy story. Should we just get
straight into it.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Let's do it. Welcome back to two doting dads and
one doting mum. I'm matt a j I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Ash and I'm Kayla George.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Wow, very well done.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Sounds Live with Kayla George.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
it is the bad and the and we never give advice, Kayla.
We always say, if you want to advice, stop right
now somewhere else, turn the podcast off and run as
fast as you can. However, if you like to give
any advice, great, If you don't want to give advice.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Don't care. Sometimes you accidentally do.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Like we find with guests, they always accidentally give some
sort of advice that we haven't heard or that people
can draw from.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
The good thing is people's expectations when they listen to
Ash myself, normally they're very low. They're very low.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Coming back though, so if you say that you feed
your child, everyone's like, wow, so much better than we
feed our too. Okay, I want to go back to
the beginning, when you are a young child. I kind
of get I don't know if I'm way off the
mark here, I kind of get school captain vibes from you.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I was going to say that or like head
of sports or sports captain.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Definitely, what's captain not school captain?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
School vice captain.

Speaker 5 (02:32):
Well, no, just the sports captain is the only captain
I got in school.

Speaker 4 (02:36):
Just I think it was the red color me to
you watch it. I don't even remember the name of it.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
I was lost in which was yellow?

Speaker 5 (02:46):
Actually in my first school because I moved a little bit,
I was yellow and I was barker.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
So hey, it was a bit of a there we go.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Were you someone who was always very well behave, very studious,
very disciplined and.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
So on all of my report cards they would say,
Kayla would have learned more if she stopped talking.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I always hate reading a boat my report cards because.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
The other day I remember, there's no effort.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
So are you more like your mum or your dad?

Speaker 5 (03:20):
Oh? My dad got expelled in grade twelve because he
got caught smoking in the shed because the science teacher
was looking through the binoculars and they caught him walking
this shad and then he flung it onto the old
high jump matt and it set a light, so he
burnt it down.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
But then they saw him running across the opal with.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (03:38):
But I mean, I don't know if he was a
nerd or anything, but he certainly Hey, that highcoo got
a new gym, and I was able to use that
in my era, so it was great.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
He's a hero, I think.

Speaker 5 (03:51):
I mean just probably the same as me, like social butterflies,
just would talk a lot in class, So I don't know.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Probably i'd probably be more like my mom.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
I would say, who was better at sports? You mum
with your dad?

Speaker 5 (04:03):
My dad was a really good AFL player, but just
in there Hills Football League, Handorf Magpies.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
I feel like every AFL team is called the Magpies.
We don't follow it very closely, so I just feel
like they're all after birds.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
I mean, yeah, crows, mag Yeah you're not, You're not
far off.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
But yeah.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
So dad was pretty sporty, but my mum played for
the Shooting Stars Nipple team. But I guess both a
bit of sportiness, but probably were my dad's side.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
If it wasn't basketball. What was the second best sport
for you?

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Any sports without a ball? Like him? Long jump? Running?

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Oh well, I to get out of class.

Speaker 5 (04:38):
I would do all of that for school, Like to
do school stuff I do, like the javelin, the discus,
the shop, I do everything. I think I won a
steeple chase race once in my dun lock chase.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Isn't that what horses do?

Speaker 4 (04:55):
I run in my dunblp bullies, remember the ones you
could get.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
From km off.

Speaker 5 (04:58):
Then when you jump in water, like you've got to
try and miss the water. But I didn't know what
I was doing. I was just trying to run as
fast they.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Soak it up.

Speaker 5 (05:04):
Yeah, so I was like running in flippers, massive size
thirteen men's feet.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
So I start running.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Backwards the freestyle after this.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
But that was cool. That was grade nine, So that
was you know, highlight.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
So steeple chases where you is it like around the
distance hurdle.

Speaker 5 (05:21):
Yeah, it's like a few things around the track right
two or three laps and there's like hurdles, there's water, there's.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
There's a fire, fiery hoops, you have jumps as well.
They're always a few kids normally. After that race, did
you think, well, I could have a career in steeple chasing.

Speaker 5 (05:37):
Yeah, probably for a small second, but I was pretty
keen on the basketball, so right from pretty early on, I.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Did want to ask you moved around a heap when
you were younger, like around Australia. You had a little
stint in Fiji as well.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Done your research, and I did very good.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
I did Detective mat Where were you on February thirteen?
How was that for yourself moving around so much? Because
they say that, you know, when you're in your early teens,
it's not good for kids to move around that much.
Did you find it hard or was it fine?

Speaker 5 (06:09):
It was the norm, so I didn't really think about it,
you know, Like, and then I've chosen a career that
I'm living out of a bag and moving every six
months to a different contract as well. So I think
I do remember living in Fiji for four months. That
was the longest shint I had there because other times
for like two or three weeks, and that was pretty cool.
Me and my sister like rocked out Crash Bandicoot and
finished it multiple times. My dad didn't want us to

(06:30):
go to the school there, so I pretty much didn't
complete Grade seven.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
Explains a lot.

Speaker 5 (06:35):
He got us a puppy. We named him Gas. We
just raised the puppy and played crash Bandicoot.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
It was the best life, Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
So but no, Fiji was a good time.

Speaker 5 (06:43):
But yeah, I don't really it was all I knew,
you know, so it wasn't really something that I really
struggled with because then not long after that, I moved
to the Institute of Sport in canber and I was
away from my family, so living out of a bag
and on planes all the time.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
It is just kind of in the norm.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Was the Institute of Sport was, was that when you
were like, this is going to get serious, now, this
could be a career for me, or we're always in
the mindset of I will always just play sport.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 (07:09):
I'm going to be a basketball player, and that moment
when I got my scholarship to the AS, that was
just another goal of mine to help that the bigger
goal of becoming a pro basketball player. And in my
mind because I get asked a lot or when did
you know, and I just kind of knew.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
I just That's what I'm going to do, Like I'm
going to be a bust.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
So I was like hopeful it works out because that's
all I really want to do.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
How do you get selected? How does that process work?

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Yes, So there's so like.

Speaker 5 (07:35):
State teams, there's regional teams, and then you get picked
for your state team.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
There's like, I don't know what you call it.

Speaker 5 (07:41):
Here in Sydney, but in Adelaide they call them district teams,
so like your local comp team, and then from that
you can you know, have their state try it, so
the state team, and then from that you can get
selected to Australian teams or like the inst sports scholarship,
so it kind of just you know, gradually goes up
and then from there. I guess at national tournaments when
you're representing your state, there's always eyes on you, like
always eyes everywhere, so if you're good enough, you'll be seen.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
So, yeah, what age did you go to the Intertudent sport?

Speaker 4 (08:02):
I was fifteen?

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Fifteen, Wow, young to be away from Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Yeah, I was a way for almost three years, three years.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
I was for three months three.

Speaker 5 (08:10):
Years for three years and then yeah, started my pro
careers back to Adelaide with the Adelaide Lightning team when
I was eighteen.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Oh my god, Like I like that age, like moving
away from you know, your support network to go, Like
did you have friends that go with you or did
you show.

Speaker 5 (08:26):
Other people from around the country your age and you'll
go and you're on scholarship together.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
It's like twelve of us or fourteen of us on
scholarship and you all live.

Speaker 5 (08:33):
In the same building and you kind of just train,
go to school together, hang out, go to dining hall together.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Everything and how to be an adult.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (08:41):
The hardest part was probably having to do my laundry.
But you kind of just figure it out and you're
just learning to be a pro. So I really enjoyed
my time there because, yeah, I learned to be the
best prior could be.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
So when you're fifteen, what would be the older kids age, ah.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
Like seventeen eighteen, like the ones that were about to graduate.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, is there like a hierarchy in the camp there?

Speaker 5 (09:03):
I think from what I remember, I had some pretty
great leaders that took me under their wing, which was
really nice. I never really felt intimidated or scared of
the old ones in a bad way. It was more
just like a healthy intimidation, like how great that they've
been here three years and I want to be like them. Yeah,
so they were pretty good. I've actually one of them
that was there is now my assistant coach.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
He with Sydney. Her name's Renee Garlett.

Speaker 5 (09:25):
To Renee, yeah, I appreciate you, sis. Yeah, So yeah,
it kind of come full circle, which is really cool.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
I did want to ask. I'm a child of divorce parents.
I was about twelve, and it didn't really have a
big profound impact on me other than the fact that
I was just like, I never want to have a
divorce with my future wife. How was it for you?

Speaker 5 (09:49):
Yes, I was about eleven, and my older sister protected
me from a lot, Like she still says things to
this down and I'm like, really, She's like, yeah, well
this and this and this happened, and she completely just
protected me from.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
A lot of the trauma.

Speaker 5 (10:01):
But she took everything on board and has struggled a
lot with a lot of things in her adulthood. But
I think there's a massive father wound. When my mom
and dad separated, I felt like my entire career, I
really wanted to just my dad to see me. So
I just would like try and work really hard to
make a team so I could tell Dad that I
made this team.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
And I still think to this day, there's little.

Speaker 5 (10:21):
Part of me that still does that, even though like
me and my dad are pretty good, but I just,
you know, want to make him proud so badly that
I like, you know, use it as motivation to help.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
Make teams and things.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
But that's really the only thing I can recall from
like the separations. I really started just like my dad
to want to like see me and just like be
proud of me because Mum says it all the time,
but I want a dad to say it, and I
want a dad to be proud.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
So that's been a pretty cool motivational tool. So I've
gone through the ranks.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
I was only good enough to like make the reserve
team and maybe get like two wins in a season,
and I was like dad and then still making like
national teams and playing in World Cups and playing an Olympics.
Are you still like that?

Speaker 4 (11:01):
I think a little bit.

Speaker 5 (11:02):
I think I don't think it'll ever go away, you know.
And I think even after our tire, I'm gonna have to,
you know, dad be proud of a mum now like
as well doesn't relate to basketball, but yeah, I think
they'll always be a little bit of me that, Yeah,
we'll always want my dad to be proud. So yeah,
I mean because mum, I know, Mum's pro actually says
it a lot, and maybe dads don't say it enough.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
So maybe guys, a bit of advice for you, you
say it more often.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
I feel like there's a fine line between giving praise
and also I want to build a level of resilience.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Yeah, I feel like he's got no resilience.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Sometimes I was like, yeah, we'll do a drawing, and
I'm like, oh, it's pretty sure.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
You anyway?

Speaker 1 (11:45):
And your partner, Now, how old were you when you
guys met?

Speaker 5 (11:49):
So I was twenty two when he was twenty in
cans And yeah, we were in the basketball community, so I.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
Knew of him.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Were you playing in camps?

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Yeah? I was playing for the Dolphins up in Canas.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
He was playing for the Fins.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
Out for the album The Team of the Malins, and
we play out of the fish tank.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh god, is it still like yeah, still called the
fish tank?

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Okay, what eye on for it?

Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (12:15):
So, and then we all were out one night and
I was like, yeah, let's kiss. And so then now
it's like, how many years later? Thirteen years later, let's care.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
And then now.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Did you actually speak like that?

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 5 (12:36):
So yeah, thirteen years later, nine years married, and here
we are, four dogs, one child.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Wow, wow, wow, all let's talk about let's pash, let's panish.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
How long are we together before he dropped a knee or
four years four years.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Okay, four years yeah, so not a bad okay.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
And during that time, were you at the same club?
What do you travel around a lot over those.

Speaker 5 (12:59):
Four So it's a bit complex in basketball, so seasons
are only like six months long.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah, you play a million games in six months, like
one game of basketball year, sorry about it.

Speaker 5 (13:16):
So after that, I think I went to I played
for the Logan Thunder for a little while, so he
moved down with me there, and then I played in
France for a bit and he came over for months
at a time there. I think the tourist fees was
like ninety days, so he'd come over for like the
tourist feeds and then come back. Where else did they play?
I played in America? Yeah, and so he got to
experience like a lot of world travel.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Was he working, like what was he doing?

Speaker 5 (13:38):
So he was he was about to go to the
mines and then we met, so I was like he
was just doing odd jobs around the place. And then
when he was traveling with me, like I was just
his sugar mama. So I mean he couldn't work overseas, right,
but yeah, now he works with indigenous kids and now
disabled clients as well, So that was a favorite of
care work.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Now, so when you guys were doing that long distance period,
how often were you guys away and how often you
guys together?

Speaker 5 (14:05):
So the longest we do we ever did a part
was two months, and that was rank Like, I do
not ever recommend that, but like four weeks was like
our limit after that, like no more than four weeks ever,
and then we have to see each other and for
each other. Yeah, so we kind of we figured it out,
but I don't recommend long distance. Like long distance is tough,
it's a real grind. But I also like had goals

(14:25):
that I wanted to achieve in my basketball career and
I was making good money, so I was like solid.
I did say when we first got together, I said,
this is what I want to do. This is probably
going to be like what I want to do in
life and travel overseas blah blah blah. If you're in,
you're in, let's do it. If not, like it's been fun,
but please stay.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
Yeah, I mean I'm really happy you see it.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Four weeks.

Speaker 5 (14:46):
I'm really happy you stayed and went along with the journey.
It's probably been easy for him either, But yeah, we've
been together a fairv bit of time now, like this
last chunk of years.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
It was more just the start that it was a
bit of long time.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
He travels with you full time.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
Yeah, he's living here, needs me now.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
But yeah, what was it about Kylou that you thought, Yeah,
this is this is the one for me, this is
the guy I do want to spend the rest of
my life with.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
That's such a.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Well, I don't even know.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
No one's ever asked me that question before. That's wild.

Speaker 5 (15:19):
Honestly, it just kind of like my career, like you
just kind of knew, like went along with it, and
then as time went on, you were like, well, this
is my person, you know.

Speaker 4 (15:28):
So it wasn't like a big ding moment I was
like that's my guy.

Speaker 5 (15:31):
It was more just like this is like where our
lives are really intertwined, and I don't see myself with
anyone else, and I like how he knows me and
I know him and it just kind of works.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
And but god, he makes me angry sometimes.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (15:43):
I've got the divorce papers already, right, He's all right.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
If you're not having big arguments every now and then,
there's something wrong with your relationship. I love Laura more
than anything. We've just come off the back of one
of our like bi monthly arguments. Healthy healthy, it's healthy.
You've got to have the ups in the downs.

Speaker 4 (16:02):
People that said they don't fight, it's not real, it's
not real.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, just don't have a.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
Little even just like what do you want to do?
I don't know, blows up.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
Like you live with someone for long enough, you get
annoyed with something they do, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
And if you don't.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
Did you know that the drop knee was coming after
four years? Did you have any kind of inkling?

Speaker 4 (16:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (16:23):
Yeah, because I you found the ring?

Speaker 4 (16:26):
Yeah yeah. And we would drive back.

Speaker 5 (16:30):
I was playing for the Towns with Fire at the time,
and we would drive back and forth Cans Towns all
the time, and there was this massive sign on the
side of the road and it was like this girl's
hand like this with.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
A ring, and it was like have you asked yet?

Speaker 5 (16:42):
And like it was alvious advertising the jeweler shop in
the little town will going through.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
And I'd always look at him like no.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
We did speak about it, and I knew it was
going to happen at some point, but I didn't know
in that particular moment. So we did that, you know,
nice and you know, surprised me, but it was beautiful.
I didn't want it to be around anyone though. I
was like, please, like I'll get second and embarrassment, like
you like, please don't do it in front of anyone,
just like in our.

Speaker 4 (17:12):
Please never want to look at us, please, like I
want you to be nervous. So it was good to
sit at home.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
It was nice.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
People who do it in a restaurant, all power to you.
That's your that's your spot. Then great. I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Where did you do it live on TV?

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Didn't you?

Speaker 1 (17:31):
We? We we were on a baby moon with Laura
and it's a beautiful sunset where we were staying. And
Laura was like, so we like went right up until
like a week before you're allowed to travel because she
was so far pregnant, and and I was like, let's
go out for a photo with the sunset. And it
was such a nice sunset that everyone had come out
of their their bungalows and I was like, let's just

(17:53):
walk down here a little bit because I wanted to
get away from everyone. She was like, why the fuck,
like in the soft.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
And she's six months pregnant.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
She's like, just take the fucking photo. And then I
was like, So it was the big thing for me
was I just didn't want to be around people. I
wanted to have it as a.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
As a private moment.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
What about the guy I did it on the jet
Star flight recently on the on the way to bal.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
He just couldn't wait.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
I didn't know about that one.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
It was on the news.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Just wait an extra six hours, brot, what was your story?

Speaker 2 (18:33):
San Francisco, a place called Twin Peaks. It's like a
big lookout.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
There were people. The cab driver cried and then he
was on the phone with his wife.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Guy, I didn't know I'm going to do it.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
There were some people around. I didn't cry. April cried,
and the cab driver cried.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
It was beautiful.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
An on the way home because we sat one of
those places where your best to pay the cab to
stay so you get back. Otherwise we would have spent
the night up there like that would have been weird.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
It's been freezing.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
But he was like on the way back and he
was like, you were cool as a cucumber on my
bro it was like packing nuggets.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah, it's like the most nerve wracking.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
It's got to be one of the most nervous. For sure,
you can do yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Well we
haven't competed in.

Speaker 4 (19:20):
Oh no, that's a different type of nerves.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah yeah, yeah, good on you guys.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
Proud of you both.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
At what point then after you guys and you get
married first before you then started speaking about kids.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
So interesting time.

Speaker 5 (19:36):
That was so Kyle's mum was really sick with cancer
and so we got engaged on the seventeenth of March.
I was about to go to America for my first
w NBA experience in Phoenix. Training camp started on the
fifteenth of April that year or something, the sixteenth of April.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
So he proposed.

Speaker 5 (19:53):
I was like, well, okay, do you want me to
do a rush wedding so that your mum makes it
because we just didn't know how much longer she had
to go. And I was like, I don't know that
she'll make another year because do we wait like blah
blah blah.

Speaker 4 (20:06):
So he was like all right.

Speaker 5 (20:08):
He took a day or two to think about it,
and he's like, a right, let's do a rush wedding,
and I was like, all right, I can do this.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Let's do it. I've got five weeks of plan a
wedding before I fly out.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Wow, raining shit nuts.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
My wedding dress arrived.

Speaker 5 (20:18):
We did a sunrise wedding on the eighth of May,
and my wedding dress arrived in.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
The afternoon sunrise.

Speaker 5 (20:24):
Yeah, at Palm Cove. It arrived at three pm the
day before. I was like, I'm gonna have to go
down the aisle nude like at this one. Anyways, But unfortunately,
his mum didn't quite make the date. She passed away
on his birthday on the fourteenth of April.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, that's okay, thank you.

Speaker 5 (20:42):
So but we knew she was, Like we think that
it was enough for her to know that we were
doing that for her. So we felt pretty good about that.
And then so it was his birthday that sucked though,
like like so for Rever now it's like a birthday. Yeah,
but we know she's in a better place, like she's
not in pain anymore. So so yeah, the fourteenth that happened,
and then on the first it was my birthday. The

(21:02):
third of May it was her funeral. The eighth was
our wedding and then I flew out on the twelfth
to training Caniness in Phoenix.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
That five week block.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Was nuts amazing.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
How was it getting it getting to Phoenix and then
just being like what the hell is?

Speaker 4 (21:18):
It was my first experience in America.

Speaker 5 (21:20):
You've got to really be like mentally super stable to
be in that environment.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
And I did, like I made the team.

Speaker 5 (21:26):
Like it was a decent rookie year, but it was
certainly like challenging. Kylie just lost his mom, so he
was over with me for a little bit, but then
you know, went back to be the family a little
bit too, and it was you.

Speaker 4 (21:37):
Know, BASKETBA was a great outlet, but that was a
lot to go through.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Right Yeah, people like, Heykaylen, how are you? And you're
like where I started?

Speaker 3 (21:45):
Right, you didn't get any time to decompress, And I don't.

Speaker 4 (21:49):
Even know if I really get time ever to decompress.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Them, just like, yeah, I have to ask did the
dress fit?

Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (21:56):
Because I got extra length on it because I'm a behemoth, so.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
Walking down the aisle, so.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah, it was Obviously you're focusing on your first season
in the WNBA. Is there a thor in the back
of your mind of like when do I want to
have kids?

Speaker 5 (22:11):
Oh my gosh, yes, as a female athlete, to figure
out like when am I going to have kids? What
am I willing to miss? Can I get pregnant in
this date so I can be back by this date?
Will I recover in time?

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Will I miss that Olympics because I'm not fit enough?
That freaks me out to even think of that.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
So well, one thing that surprised me and I didn't
I'm not hugely experienced with basketball, but I was reading
about you and I was like, holy shit, even as
an adult, you're traveling so much. But then I realized
that it's because you don't have an off season.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
Is that right, So somewhere else in the world and play. Yeah,
there's not really.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
An off season for female BASKETA players. We play all
year round. Like the NBA guys have the luxury to
have that big off season. They get paid a lot
more money than we do. We're pretty blessed, but we're
not like what they are.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
Can't even compare. There's a way to go in that space.

Speaker 5 (22:56):
But yes, we do play back to back to back seasons.
My first break in ten years was the COVID year
because I had a soul.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
Yeah, yeah, because it's like even some of like domestic
men's players here they play for like second tier.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Teams like in Canns or darworn in.

Speaker 5 (23:13):
Something Marlins, And you've caught me to time where it's
like Olympic prep, So it's nuts. Like I go to
Japan on Monday for six days, and then I go
to Melbourne to play China again for a series, and
then I go to Spain for a pre Olympic tournament,
and then I go to Paris and then I'm back
for a bit.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
So what are you thinking, Like I won't get to
have kids until I've finished playing.

Speaker 5 (23:34):
That's a really great question, honestly, Like I've thought of
every scenario. And after the World Cup in twenty eighteen,
we want a silver medal.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
That was really exciting.

Speaker 5 (23:42):
Kyle and I decided to try and have kids. So
as a female athlete and I it'll be tm I.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
But if you guys like.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
Go for it.

Speaker 4 (23:50):
We're going to talk about periods.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Is that all right?

Speaker 5 (23:52):
I was hoping here period So I was on the
pill from sixteen to five and I wanted to stop
it because I read an article about it. I was like, oh,
I don' want to do this to my body anymore.
And I don't really remember what my natural period look like.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
So I stopped. I didn't bleed for four years. Not healthy? Yeah,
it's not healthy?

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Can I can? I ask what would be a normal period?
What would be?

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Sorry, man.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Would be that was the wrong word. It will be
a normal time frame from when you stop taking the
pill to when you start getting your period.

Speaker 5 (24:36):
So for some women it can happen straight away. For
someone it can take a few months, but four years is.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
Not normal at all.

Speaker 5 (24:43):
Like to not have any type of bleed is not normal.
And then I'm an athlete as well, so the stress
and pressure I'm putting on my body, like it's a lot.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
In that four year period where you're not getting your period?
What do you do?

Speaker 4 (24:58):
Then?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Do you go to your GP?

Speaker 4 (25:00):
Saving money on tampons?

Speaker 1 (25:09):
So how freaked out are you?

Speaker 4 (25:11):
Well?

Speaker 5 (25:11):
I was kind of just like, all right, no bleeding
one year, two years, and I'd speak to my team doctors.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
One doctor in America was like, you're not drinking enough
chocolate milk.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I was like, what.

Speaker 4 (25:23):
Less? I don't think that's right, that's not.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
That's so random. Do they have an explanation to that, just.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
Like I think you should drink more choco was like.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, done so much normally.

Speaker 5 (25:47):
So yeah, I would just speak to my team doctors
and then eventually they were like, oh, it's okay, like
just you know, keep keep on, you know, and I
just guess after four years, I was like, I think
I need to see someone like a specialist, and yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
I had a chocolate.

Speaker 5 (26:02):
I had a specialist say that I had an issue
like when I would opulate, they wouldn't drop at the
right time. That just kind of hang out, and so
I needed to do it was like one tenth of
what ivf uses use like in a treatment, and so
it made me supernautious.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
I was playing BASKETBALLND you this whole time.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
I was that is that includes like instill injecting yourself.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
Yeah, I was injecting myself for however long. I think
it was like three or four weeks I was injecting myself.
So I was playing like I'm in the middle of
a season here.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
This was just to get your period back?

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Is that right now?

Speaker 5 (26:32):
Now, I'll get that hold on one second. And so
then I did this treatment lady with helsband test a
few weeks later, not pregnant. They did say it can
take two or three rounds and there's a high chance
of multiples.

Speaker 4 (26:44):
I was but in saying that it didn't work.

Speaker 5 (26:49):
And then I didn't know that COVID was going to
happen and that the Tokyo Olympics would be delayed a year.
So if I knew all that ahead of time, maybe
maybe would have done a couple more rounds. But I
didn't because I didn't want to interview with my Tokyo
prep and I was nervous, and I was nauseous for
like five months because of the treatment. And I was
drinking lemons into tea all season because I just was
nauseous all the time. I just feel sy because I mean,
I'm pumping myself with this hormones like.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Trying to like train and play basketball.

Speaker 4 (27:14):
I would like have lemon and ginger tea on the
sidelines that award, Like it was wild.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Anyway, do you have to say to the coach, like, hey,
I'm not playing as well because of this. Did you
find that it noticeably impacts how well you're playing?

Speaker 5 (27:25):
So I honestly don't think it affected me on court.
I think I just like switch into gear and I
just figure it out.

Speaker 4 (27:30):
I thought.

Speaker 5 (27:31):
I was like, oh my gosh, this is horrendous. How
do people do this? I was doing one tenth the
vibf like nuts. But from that treatment, I got my period,
So that was a surprise. I didn't expect that at all,
But thank goodness because now I've had regular periods since then.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
But I do notice that if I'm at.

Speaker 5 (27:50):
A big tournament or an Olympics or a World carp
or a stressful final series or something, that my period's
delayed one or two weeks.

Speaker 4 (27:56):
But it's relatively normal now, which is a huge relief.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
So did you plan then if you did get pregnant,
Were you looking ahead at taking a year off sport
or what?

Speaker 5 (28:05):
Was you I was going to come back as quickly
as possible to prep for the Tokyo Olympics. So in
my head I was like, all right, I'll if I
can fall pregnant around Christmas time twenty eighteen, then I
have Bubba then and then I'll have enough time at
least a year before the Tokyo Olympics to really prepare.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
But it doesn't work like that.

Speaker 5 (28:22):
You can't just you know, a lot of times you
can't pinpoint a date I'm going to fall pregnant on.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
This date so they can have a Yeah, totally.

Speaker 5 (28:28):
Right, And that's I mean, as athletes, it's like really
ideal to be able to do that, but you can't
do that. And so I when the treatment didn't work
come end of Jane Fair, I was like, well, I'll
just have to wait for another time. And then since
then it's just been like, like my whole career, I'm
going back to back seasons and then what do I missing?
But now I'm in more of a headspace that you know,
I'm thirty five.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
I do want to give some siblings to Pearly, And look,
I'm not in a rush rush to like has to
be straight uf the Olympics. I'm still signed with Sydney.

Speaker 5 (28:54):
I still feel like I've got really great basketball left
to play. But I'm just more relaxed about it.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
When you sort of got close to that time when
the Olympic prep was coming up and you decided that
You're going to have to try another time, do you
remember how that felt?

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Do you remember how you felt?

Speaker 4 (29:07):
I felt like a failure.

Speaker 5 (29:09):
But then it was conflicting because I was like, I'm
a failure because I couldn't feel pregnant and I can't
do it naturally.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
I have to do it this way.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
But then if I was a failure and that I
better not fail in that, so I better make that
team and train really well.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
It was all this pressure building on yourself.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Yeah yeah, wow, okay, and then you go into Tokyo prep.
The way that Pearl was conceived and you've come to
be a mum is so unique. Can you talk us
through when you made that decision or how the conversation
started to go down that that we were just talking
about it before. Matt and I are like, how do
you put that on the table, like, talk us through

(29:44):
it if you don't mind, of course, of course.

Speaker 4 (29:47):
Ky Lute.

Speaker 5 (29:47):
My husband is a Toaster Islander and it's really common
in Ireland culture to gift babies to other family members
that are struggling to have their own children, and they
truly believe that when they do that, they get their
own after they have their own after which happens a lot.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
You're not Tori straight Island background.

Speaker 5 (30:04):
No, not just my husband, although my husband did think
I was feed part fore GM when we first met,
so I was like, just you listen to what I'm saying. So, yeah,
when I first started dating Kylou, I met his family,
and I knew that a couple of his nieces, his sister,
had a couple of babies and she gifted her second

(30:25):
one to his mum. They lived in the same house,
so I knew of the concept of what you know
it was about. They call it custom island adoption. There
is an island name for it, but I'll just give
you the English name. And so, yeah, it's very common
and it's the highest form of respect in their culture
to gift it.

Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah. Nina, my sister in law, she knew my story.

Speaker 5 (30:44):
She knew I've been trying and I'd wanted to have babies,
and I would have had two kids by now if
it was like, you know, easy to pick a time.
And you know, it's just not been that easy for
me with a lot of different reasons, with the period
stuff and being an athlete and wanting to miss events.

Speaker 4 (30:57):
But so after the real Olympic she sat me down with.

Speaker 5 (31:02):
Kylie's older sister and Kylo and she said, look, we'd
love to gift you a baby at some point when
the time's right for everyone.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Holy wow, I was like, oh, my.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
Gosh, huge, amazing.

Speaker 5 (31:11):
I wasn't overwhelmed with it because I knew of the
practice in the culture, so I was like, oh, my gosh,
is if you do that?

Speaker 4 (31:17):
I was like, oh wow. I was more overwhelmed that,
like it could have been happening like soon.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
I was like, Oh, when you were struggling to fullbring it,
did you think, hey, this may be an option.

Speaker 5 (31:27):
No, Kylon never really spoke about it, but I did
speak to his sister Nino about it a fair bit.
So it was always like kind of in my mind, like, oh,
that that could be an option. But I really do
hope to still one day be able to hold a
baby and still like a baby myself.

Speaker 4 (31:40):
But if this is our.

Speaker 5 (31:41):
Only option, that's really cool too, Like what a blessing.
And so, yeah, I guess what year are we now,
twenty twenty four. I guess At the start of yeah,
twenty twenty two, we just finished our Boomers season in Melbourne.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
I was playing for Melbourn Boomers.

Speaker 5 (31:56):
And I went home and held like a big gathering
from Kyler's family life only in my house in cans
And my sister Nina was like, Taylor, I mind weeks pregnant,
and I was like, wild, But she's like, if it's
a boy, we're going to keep it because we've only got
the one boy. But if it's a girl, we want
to gift it to you. And I was like, oh, like,
when's the when's the test? When do we know what
it is?

Speaker 3 (32:16):
They would have been trying and stuff without you knowing, yeah,
and then obviously.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Knowing that they wanted to give to you a baby.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
But then them saying, hey, we're nine weeks pregnant is
as big as shock to you as it is to
the rest of the family.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
I suppose, right, Yeah, No.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
It was a bit of a shock, but I really
wanted to see what sex it was going to be
because they were going to keep the boy because they'd
only had one son and they wanted another son. I
was like, that's totally fair, Like it's your child, even if.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
You don't want to give me, so you're still there's
still like fifty to fifty.

Speaker 5 (32:42):
Yeah. So as soon as we were able to be
got the test done, the doctor's exact words, but oh no,
that's a hamburger.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
That's not a sausage, and that's a hamburger. I was like, oh,
is that the official that the.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Medical term for it, because it's the same doctor that's reckoned.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
I was, how funny.

Speaker 5 (33:02):
So yeah, after that, after we found out the gender,
then we kind of just got into like, mind you
I'm preparing for a World Cup, like a major event
while I'm preparing to be a mum and so you know,
just telling my family and the close friends that I had,
and they're like, what, like they weren't really aware of
the culture side of all. I don't really I hadn't
spoken about, you know, how their family do that before,

(33:25):
so people kind of took a second to let it
sink in.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
And yeah, I mean I think it's beautiful. But when
you first hear about it, you're like, because it's so
different Western culture would be.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
I know, it's kind of like I didn't think it
was that was the thing. And there'd be so many
people listening right now that would be especially men. Yea,
they would be like I never thought that that would be.

Speaker 5 (33:45):
There was a lot of situ Yeah, really when I posted,
when it came out, there'd been articles written or whatever.
There was a lot of troll comings of just people
that just had no open mind or no idea, like
and that's fine, Like, that's.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
Social media these days. You can't do anything people. I
don't know that you get troll comments to this pod
us though.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Normally it's just like you guys swear too much.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yeah, really, we made front of a dentist and then
people came after us.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
We love the dentists and doctors technically events, but.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Anyway, assuming that you'd have a bit of a thick
skin playing professional sport, copying heat from people, we'll still.

Speaker 5 (34:19):
Get to you sometimes though if you let it. There's
a lot of stuff, and it can be pretty debilitating
when you're not in a confident headspace because we've always
got to maintain a confidence level to be able to
perform and play under pressure. I don't know what life
is like to not have pressure like basketball pressure. And
if I finish one tournament, it's like one game will
then what's next. There's always pressure for the next thing.
So I think when I retire in years to come,

(34:41):
because I feel like I've got a good chunky years
left in me, I can't wait to feel like what
life's like with no pressure basketball pressure.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
So I just it's boring over here.

Speaker 5 (34:51):
Seventy yeah, So once we back to the pearl train
of events, so once you know, it got closer to
the time I had the World Cup.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
We won a bronze medal in Sydney. We beat Canada
in the bronze medal game. Nine days later, I'm in
the theater with Nina Wow, getting pearly.

Speaker 5 (35:09):
I was really nervous about the connection piece. I was
really nervous, like about everything. It was just in what way, well,
because I hadn't held I hadn't, you know, actually been
growing her in my belly. So I was really nervous
about yeah, the connection, but skinner skin straight.

Speaker 4 (35:24):
Away was with me and it was beautiful. Yeah, yeah,
not the skin.

Speaker 5 (35:31):
I held her straight away then, like when we went
to the recovery redeal, skin on skin, which was really beautiful.
But I was also really nervous and felt really guilty
for taking away Nina's baby.

Speaker 4 (35:40):
And she said to me.

Speaker 5 (35:42):
In the recovery room, she said, I, I've actually been
holding her for you this whole time. She's not been
my baby this entire time, She's been yours, and I've
just been looking after it for you.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Connected from that, yes, I suppose you've got her.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Yeah, so I thought that.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
I mean, we're really close me and Ninna, so we
talk a lot and we've got a really great relationship.
I guess you kind of have to be able to
do this, but yeah, she was actually just down in
Sydney last week with her four year old son, so
that was really great for Pearl and Nicholas.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
To be able to have a play.

Speaker 5 (36:09):
But yeah, it was a really I almost would like
cry anytime, Like when we had to leave the hospital
and she went to her house and.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
We went to ours and I took Pearl.

Speaker 5 (36:16):
I was so emotional because I felt this huge guilt
that I didn't anticipate once we had Pearl into the world,
that I was taking.

Speaker 4 (36:24):
Her away from Nina. Yeah, so I had to kind
of overcome. Nea would laugh at me.

Speaker 5 (36:28):
I'm like, yeah, so she had already kind of done
it in her Yea.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
How do you explain the situation with Nina to the
medical staff during childbirth?

Speaker 5 (36:42):
Yeah, it was certainly in the theater, they were all beautiful,
they all understood, And I guess in the kNs hospital
there might be more accustomed to this type of thing happening,
maybe more from an islander to an islander not so
much from an islander to a white woman. But they
were really great in the theater. And then in the
days after that, while we're in the hospital, you know,
the doctors and the nurses would come in and they'd

(37:03):
direct their talk to Nina and she'd be like, oh, no,
this is the mom here and they'd be like, oh, okay.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
So that asked me questions. That was like, oh, this
is exciting.

Speaker 5 (37:11):
And then one time a social worker came in to
ask Serena if she was really sure that she wanted
to give up her baby, and it was quite alarming,
and I felt a little offended that they thought I
was just like stealing her baby when you know that
wasn't the case at all. And Serena, I think Chuckwood,
it was like, yep, all good, God, I don't know
if this worker was really aware of the you know,

(37:33):
the culture and the situation, and that's fair, she's doing
her job.

Speaker 4 (37:36):
But I was a bit.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Like, oh, like thinking like putting some doubt anyone.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
Yeah, I was like, well what are you doing? And
Serena just laughed.

Speaker 5 (37:42):
I was like no, no, all good, Like that was
the extent of the convos. So yeah, that definitely made
me feel some type way, but I get where she
was coming from on her angle, but I was like, no,
that's my girl.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
We talked about that connection with Pearl. Did you feel
like a mom straight away when you're holding her in You're.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
The feeling was just super surreal, it was I don't
know that in that moment I was like, I'm a mum.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
I think it was just like, oh my.

Speaker 5 (38:08):
Gosh, this is who I have to look after, this
is my life now, Like it was, the word mom
didn't really come into like probably we were at home
and I was in my environment where I was more
relaxed than I really felt like. I was so nervous
even change her first napping in the hospital.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
It's petrified.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Yeah, and then everyone's watching and you're.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Like yeah, and you feel like you can you do
it right. You need to feel like you need to
be instantly the best at it.

Speaker 5 (38:32):
You're like yeah, yeah, so and the first ones were
gross per as well.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, the black time.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
It's like the Hamburger. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (38:48):
So I think days after year, once I was home,
I was way more relaxed and felt like a mum
once I was in my own space.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
This excuse my ignorance, What's the legalities of all this.

Speaker 4 (38:57):
Yeah, So like twenty twenty.

Speaker 5 (39:01):
Twenty twenty, Queensland the government finally passed a bill that
allowed the Torristrait Island adoption to become legal. So we
went through there's a Commission's office with Tosia Island people
that were there to allow this to legally or kind
of bind, and so we formally applied to adopt her
through the custom Island adoption. So essentially when that is approved,

(39:23):
it comes back and we are the names on her
birth certificate and her first one becomes null and voids.
So the birthertificate where the parents. So then we choose
if we tell her or not, because sometimes it can
get a bit complex, like later in life if there's
a child that's been adopted through the island ways.

Speaker 4 (39:38):
And it's not been legally done, then when their adults.

Speaker 5 (39:41):
They go to get their birth certificate or their passport
and their parents aren't matching up to the names that
they thought, so it could be quite conflicting. So in
the island community and because in culture too, especially with
the elders. If you know, they say this is your baby,
I'm having your baby, bit it's yours, Like once it's
been given like that's you don't talk about it like
it's done, like that's your baby.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (40:02):
So it can be quite challenging for some of the
adults that have been all and adopted like now to
get things like I just said, But so we did
it all eagerly only because that bill has been passed recently,
so a lot of people as adults are coming out
now to try and get it sort of now.

Speaker 4 (40:15):
It can be quite complex. So yeah, we are the
names on.

Speaker 5 (40:18):
The birth certificate, and we will tell her okay, when
the time is right. I've been thinking about it a
bit more lately as she's getting old. I'm like, oh gosh,
she's going to be an interesting one. Do I tell
her that she grew in that stomach with Nina Mama?

Speaker 4 (40:30):
Or like, how do I tell her? How do we
start that dialogue?

Speaker 5 (40:33):
But I think I do want to say, like, you know,
with Auntie Nina's belly, like you grew in there, Like
I don't know, while she's a little bit young to
try and get the plan if you see us.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
Too many basketball analogies.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
That advice giving me advice.

Speaker 5 (40:52):
So it'd be an interesting time. And I'm a bit
nervous for that time, like will she be angry at me?
Will she be angry at Auntie Nina? Like will she
be all right with it? So I'm nervous for that time.
But I mean, she's such a happy kid, and I
just some trying to do my best raising her, trying
to teach her language, trying to teach her culture, like
her dad's a tryst Triolgus and we speak a bit
of broken English in the house of we within thirteen
years so I understand it, we speak it. So hopefully

(41:14):
she picks up a lot and you know, has a
great feeling of her culture.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yeah. How was it then in the first few months,
did you find it was instant that you and Pearl
connected with each other?

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (41:26):
I felt there was the breastfeeding thing too. So I
just played at a World Cup. So before that, they
were like, do you want to take tablets to lactate?
And I was like, oh, well, I'm preparing for a
World Cup. This is kind of conflicting. I don't want
to be leaking at the World Cup, so I chose
not to. And I was like, is that selfish? But
people like no, no, that's fine. Serena breastfed for a
little bit too, and then gave us some milk and

(41:46):
then we would bottle feed her as well with formula,
so she was a bit of a mixed and she
went to the bottle fine. And then yeah, it wasn't
really an issue. But that really made me nervous too,
the connection piece with the feeding and stuff. But honestly,
like I didn't even think about it after the like,
after that first bit of fear, then I just got
on with it.

Speaker 4 (42:05):
You just I mean, you guys got newborns, you know
what it's like. You just kind of just knuddle in
and get old it, trying.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
To keep treading every Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
Yeah, so but I definitely felt connected, but.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
It took me probably a little bit to like really like, oh,
I'm a mum now.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:21):
It just took me a bit too, because I didn't
have the nine month experience of preparation wise, and then
I felt like I cheated motherhood. Yeah, because I didn't
give give birth myself and mums are recovering and doing this.
I was like, man, that's nice.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
That was crazy.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Ash and I were talking before, I know, with Laura
after she'd given birth, when she would speak to other
moms instantly like, wow, how was the birth, How long
was labor?

Speaker 2 (42:43):
What was it like? Did you have an epidural a
bonding moment?

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Yeah, you had they shared trauma, which really bonds you
to other people. How was it for yourself speaking to
other moms where you don't have that experience of holding
the baby, you don't have the childbirth story to tell.

Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, it was interesting because I mean she was nine
days old when I flew out to Melbourne to start
my season, so people were like, oh, you're back already,
and I'd.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
Be like sometimes.

Speaker 5 (43:07):
Sometimes I'd be like oh yeah, an other times I'd
be like, actually, here's the story, like just a little
dop pointed story. WHOA Like that's wild, but yeah, it's
pretty crazy, pretty like surreal like that. People like, what
a beautiful gift. And then other other times people be like,
she's got a rash on her neck and I'm like,
that's a bit rude.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Yeah, I know, she has like.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
A bit of neck, and people think they could just
tell me.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
That you might be doing wrong.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
Let me get some pseudo cream.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
And then how is it trying to still be an
athlete while she've got a newborn child and you're now
a mum.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
Yeah, it was pretty well, but thankfully, like we touched
them before a little bit.

Speaker 5 (43:48):
You know, newborn's they just sleep eat sleepy, Like you know,
while I'm training, she's in the prem lot just having
her little mid morning nap, and then i'd have like
my trainers on my manage is just like helping you cry.
So that she was really good in my first season,
Like I'm not gonna lie. She was a real blessing.
She slept really well for a newborn. Like I was

(44:08):
up twice night, sometimes three. But one of my best games,
I had like a triple double. And I don't like
to toot my own home, but like this time.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
People who aren't familiar, triple double is.

Speaker 5 (44:19):
That's double figured stats in three different statistical readows. Yeah.
So I had like thirty something thirty one points, like
eleven assists and ten rebounds, so we'd beat Adelaide. But
I was running off four hours sleep, Like that was
my worst night the night before that game.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
That's the key.

Speaker 5 (44:35):
That's the key, Like adrenaline just took over my first shots.
For my first eight shots of the game, I missed eight.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
I was zero eight.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Oh my god, Judge.

Speaker 4 (44:47):
I had four hours sleep. Anyways, that ended.

Speaker 5 (44:53):
Up being a Cracker game and you know, triple double
and we won, so it was great. It was a
close gamevas Adelaide, but I ended up winning EP that.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
Season, which is wild to me.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Isn't that wild?

Speaker 5 (45:03):
Like Yeah, and a lot of the time, yeah, it was,
you know, raising a newborn.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
There was footage I saw on YouTube. I don't know
if it was a game or if it was training,
but there's a team huddle on the court and you're
there holding pearl and I was, and everyone's kind of
talking through tactics and you're listening in and you're holding Bove.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
I was like, does that happen often?

Speaker 4 (45:29):
Well, I mean I don't want her now, she'd talk
too much. I couldn't.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
So yeah, when she was a newborn, if she was settled, yeah,
I would do it a fair bit, just like I
just wanted to hold her all the time.

Speaker 4 (45:40):
I just wanted her.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
You have her on the court walk through or something around.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Yeah, free game. I was like, there was footage you're
shooting a three pearl in one arm.

Speaker 5 (46:01):
She's definitely like a little baller baby. She has just
been in every different environment in America, in Taiwan.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
In Australia, I think you said you took fourteen flights
in fourteen months in the first fourteen months something crazy.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
No, I think now since we've been in America, I
think she's probably closer to like maybeing one hundred and
ninety to two hundred.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Flights platinum whatever.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
I don't give her when you don't pay for her.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
Actually do Yeah, that's like I'm silver what.

Speaker 5 (46:33):
She definitely would be up there, But no, they don't
give her crazy.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
I hate my kids on a flight, no offense kids.

Speaker 4 (46:40):
She's pretty like she moves a lot now.

Speaker 5 (46:42):
And I was going to say, at training last year
in Sydney, I put her in like a little play
pain with a bunch of stuff to get creative and whatever.

Speaker 4 (46:48):
And at the start of the season it was great.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
She'd stand there for like the ninety minutes, and then
just towards the end she'd get a bit restless to
come out, and so like we'd almost be finished, so
I'd go get her out or whatever. But at the
end of the season, she'd start piling them up and
then make.

Speaker 4 (47:01):
Your way up that pile to try and crawl out
like she was like done. So this season.

Speaker 5 (47:05):
My mom's going to come down and help look after
her because I can't have her a practice this season.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
She would just be running a much. She just wants
to do.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
They just get to that age that ache I can
move now, yeah, my own person, and she throw.

Speaker 5 (47:16):
Her toys onto the court like sorry.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
With those flights, I think every parent out there has
got a story where it hasn't really gone to plan.
Have you had any flights that have been a bit
of a total disaster.

Speaker 5 (47:34):
So we were coming back from Perth. We just had
a game in Perth, heading to Sydney. A few hours
left on the flight, and I always restock my travel
nappy bag always because we're on the move so much.
Every time we get back from some of the first
thing I do is restock the nappy bag.

Speaker 4 (47:48):
Didn't restock at this time. What an idiot.

Speaker 5 (47:50):
So she's done a massive whopper. And so I was
sitting next to this lovely.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
Nurse and classic hamburger.

Speaker 4 (47:59):
So I get up to get nappy bag. I was like,
oh my gosh, I haven't restocked. This is horrendous bit
of three hours ago. She's done like.

Speaker 5 (48:05):
Over the outside, like at all, no, she had I
had not none no.

Speaker 4 (48:09):
No spense, no spence.

Speaker 5 (48:11):
Yeah, so and stang. I was like, oh my god,
this is rank and the nurse.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
Is like, oh, I just used two sanitary pads. I
was like, oh my gosh. And then the lady behind
I was like, am I in a movie? The lady
behind I was like, I've got one?

Speaker 1 (48:21):
This is like.

Speaker 5 (48:24):
And then I got her one and then another one
from the air hosties, and then I stuck them together
and made this makeshift like nappy, so Kimby and Toshi
which said Kimby nappy. And then it was not great
and obviously that's not really meant for lots of liquid.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
So much yeah, so much liquid, right.

Speaker 5 (48:45):
And so we sat back down and maybe twenty thirty
minutes like it was soaking.

Speaker 4 (48:50):
I was soaking.

Speaker 5 (48:51):
We were all just like a puddle. She just decided
to wear yourself everywhere. That was fine, Like, it's totally fine.
A couple more pads from all the air hostes.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
Round two. It lasted till we got home. But I
mean that was not It's not terrible, but you know.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
When there was no other babies on the flight at all,
you could have.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
I mean, honestly, I was at the back of the fly.

Speaker 5 (49:09):
I don't even I didn't even think of that. We
just had the pads and just kind of made it.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
Just made make it work.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
Sorry for the time we got home, but hey, it's
not the best parenting, just make it work.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
She was comfortable.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
It is strange as a parent, how quickly you become
totally comfortable being covering other people's feces.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
Yeah, this kid's showing me well anyway, so back to it.

Speaker 5 (49:34):
Yeah, honestly, yeah, but that was I mean, that was okay,
like you just kind of you can't do anything in
that moment. She's projectile vomited on someone before too in
a plane, and she was like it's okay. I My
mom was like goodness, like with the person next year,
Oh sorry, like a whole milk, I know.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
And if they're not a parent, they're just like completely mortified.

Speaker 5 (49:53):
And I ask you, guys a question, No, what's the
have you ever seen next to I went on a
flight that's like made it like a condescending comment about
kids on a plane.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
It's probably been me. To be honest, I haven't shut
that thing up.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Oh really I haven't, thankfully I haven't.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
My kids haven't been on one hundred and ninety two flights,
I'm assuming. And then also in America, they haven't been
to America, and you see all these videos that come
out online. It's an American Yeah, yeah, give us what
you've got.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
What's happening.

Speaker 5 (50:27):
Oh, just one time, I had a guy on a
flight and then the air hostly moved him because of this.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
But he just made a comment like, oh, this is
gonna be fun like this, and I.

Speaker 5 (50:36):
Was like, Oh, that's not really that bad that he
said that, but I was like still annoyed because.

Speaker 4 (50:39):
It's like relax the one that has to hold.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
And then the air.

Speaker 5 (50:42):
Host, you like, walked past and heard it and then
moved him. I was like, bye, now I've got.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Yeah, I have. There is one flight in particular, and
luckily I was I was so fortunate that people around
me were being legends. It was the first time i'd
flew with Marley by myself, and I was as a
new dad, still kind of figuring it out, and and
she just started being on the bottle as well, so
I was like, I got this. And then midway through

(51:07):
the flight, she just started screaming like she was being murdered,
with a blood curdling screams full volume, and I'm like
trying everything. I'm like trying the bottle, doesn't want to
change nappy. Fine, I'm like standing up and you know,
trying to comfort her that nothing was working at all,
and like this baby is just screaming on stop. Everyone

(51:30):
around me was like, dude, it's totally fine, like it's
not a problem. And I'm like it's those situations as
a parent that like, I don't want to have a
screaming tran.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Yeah, this weird sweat sweat the back of.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
My knees, driven from the back of my knees.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
People are like not worried about the baby, but you.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Everyone's slipping over around me.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
But it's like it's so comforting when people are like
it is cool because when you're not a parent, like
growing up and you're on a flight and you see
kids screaming, like but then as soon as you're a parent,
you're like feel so bad that even I don't know
what it is when a baby cries near me on
an aeroplane, I get the knee sweats. It's not even
my kid, I'm like it it's want to help you.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
Somehow do you carry spear pants when you.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Travel ye, sweatpants. It's okay, I have sweaty knees. Whatever,
But I notice about ash.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
We're learning so much.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Next there's a screaming baby. Just let me touch back
your good luck.

Speaker 5 (52:35):
You do get some eyes though, that not everyone's like
really happy about it, you know, like for the most part,
it's alright, but sometimes you get eyes.

Speaker 4 (52:42):
You're like, well, what do you want to do about it?

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
You're probably taller than them, so stand over them.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
Yeah, I mean, if they stood up, I'd let them know, bitch.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
So now you are thirty five.

Speaker 4 (52:57):
Lackluck, I'm twenty one.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
There any good way you want to have a bigger family?
Would love to He'd love another child and another dog.

Speaker 4 (53:08):
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
I'm just gidding out. Got four already and just timing wise.
What does it look like for you in terms of
growing your family and giving Pearl another brother or sister.

Speaker 5 (53:18):
Yeah, that's a really great question. I've signed on for
another two years with Sydney. I've signed a three year deal,
so I've got two more years in my deal.

Speaker 4 (53:25):
So I don't know. I don't know what that looks
like for me after these Olympics. Is that my last one.

Speaker 5 (53:29):
I don't know, like, is that my last big event
with the Opens, I'm not sure. I don't like to
close any door officially. Fully, my focus right now is
just the Olympics and just that. Only after that, though,
there is a Sydney season, and yeah, do I try
and fall pregnant within that season and then back before
the next one?

Speaker 4 (53:47):
You know?

Speaker 5 (53:47):
Can I can I finish that one being a couple
months pregnant and then play the next one too, like there's.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
My athlete mind, you know?

Speaker 5 (53:53):
Or do I have to wait till they're both finished
before I try and be almost I would be thirty seven. Yeah,
So yeah, I think there'll be more of a relaxed
approach after these games, to be a bit more willing
to just be okay with whenever I feel pregnant, not
so much of all. We can't now because if I
fall pregnant, I can't compete at the Olympics.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
And that would just bring me out because it's so close.

Speaker 5 (54:14):
Honestly, They're like, if I did fall pregnant and I
couldn't compete in this Olympics, like it'd be fine, Like
it'd just be something.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
It's a beautiful thing. I want to have more kids.

Speaker 5 (54:22):
I'd deal with it, you know, it'd be more of
a grieving of not being able to compete at the Olympics. Yeah,
you know, I'm in a good position to potentially go
to my third one and then after that be a
bit more relaxed.

Speaker 4 (54:31):
About whatever timing was right.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
Whenever it happened is cool because I don't really have
anything to really you know, compete at unless I'm you know,
the Sydney stuff. But at this stage I'm going to
be playing in those seasons because I'm not pregnant, you.

Speaker 4 (54:46):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
We've seen female sport come so far over the last
five ten years. Do you think it will get to
a point where you don't have to do back to
back seasons, you can just play the one season per year.

Speaker 5 (54:58):
I hope so not very soon, though, I think in
years to come, which is unfortunate. But I mean, Kaitlyn Clarks,
like you know in America right now, has gone gone
nuts and it's actually it's wild, and I love that
for women's basketball, and I hope that it translates over
to Australian women's basketball too, and we have an AUSSI
playing with her right now. Christy Wallace playing with Indiana Fever,

(55:18):
who is on the national team and is a bloody legend,
absolute legend. I hope that in generations to come that
it is better, even a little bit closer, because there's
such a big gap still for women's basketball compared to men's.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Basketball, especially in the States.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
Like I know, Kaitlyn Clark is like this unicorn player,
Like she is absolutely amazing. I've watched a lot of
highlights of her, and it's kind of really good to
see it take off so much on social media that
it's giving more recognition, But the gap is so big, Like.

Speaker 5 (55:47):
The rookie salary in the d NBA is like seventy
or eighty thousand US dollars, where in the men it's
like a mill or whatever it is.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Yeah, so there's just a long way to go.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
I don't want to pass your ego, but I will.
I find it just absolutely crazy trying to perform at
such an elite level, NonStop, back to back to back,
whilst also being a mom, Like it just blows my
mind when I think about the early years of being
a new dad and like that was hard enough, and

(56:18):
then add on like a layer of any type of
responsibility and pressure and I was crumbling. Yeah, I was absolutely.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Mums are built different. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 4 (56:29):
That's really kind of you.

Speaker 5 (56:31):
And honestly, I look back and think, how did I
do some of the things that I did? And but
Pearl has put a lot of great perspective in my life,
and so it almost helps me mentally relax a little
more for games. So I'm not like just thinking about
myself and how I need to perform or whatever.

Speaker 4 (56:43):
It's like, Oh, has Pearl? Do I need to change
an happy? Oh? All right, let's go to the game.
All right? Do I need to change a woman? There?
She fed?

Speaker 5 (56:49):
Yeah, Like it's a whole different mind frame, And I
think it's really helped me. And I think I'm playing
better basketball now than I was in my mid twenties.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Giving all the young players kids now.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Can do it.

Speaker 5 (57:09):
No, she's actually a really good kid though, Like she
all she knows is this lifestyle like planes, teammates, random
teams around her wanting to hold her and cuddle her
and running on the corner. So she's got aunties in America,
aunties in Taiwan. And they actually couldn't say a lot
of it that, like they couldn't say Pearl. I guess
they struggle to say there ours like when they try
to be English. For some of the ones that struggled

(57:30):
to speaks in English.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
My friend was called Lachlan and that's a tough name
for people who don't speak.

Speaker 5 (57:38):
So her name in Chinese is Jenju, the shinju everything.
So I was like, that's fine. So actually got that
tattooed on my shoulder. I mean I don't have a lot,
but just a few, but I have tattoos from everywhere.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah, tells the story.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
When Pearl is all grown up and she is no
longer living at home, she is an adult on her
own and maybe she's starting her own family. What is
the one thing that you would want her to remember
about the house or the houses for you that she
grew up.

Speaker 5 (58:10):
In that no matter where she went, she still felt
the same love from us. That was probably That's probably
the main thing I wanted, because I have thought about
this because we have moved a fair bit. She's lived
in multiple houses already or apartments of spaces, and I
just want her to feel loved and comfortable wherever she is. So,
I mean, that's probably my advice that I would give

(58:31):
to her.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
We always love to.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
End on that question because we get such a beautiful
answer like that. I mean, yeah, thank you so much
for taking the time, and it's a beautiful story how
you became a mom. It's different and we love to
hear those different stories. And yeah, thank you for your time.

Speaker 4 (58:49):
Oh thanks for having me. Guys. I felt like there
was a lot of me talking, But.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
That's that's the point, Matt. That is a very unique
story to me. I've never heard of anything.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Like that before.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
And if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a
review fire stars, share it with anybody else that thinks
they could use that unique story in their lives.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
You know a few people, Ash, they leave a five
star review but no comment. How dare you no comment?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
They're probably pad parents, That's what sort of people will
do that.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
All I want to say is, if you're going to
leave five stars, just leave it. Just something. Give me
a nugget, any nugget, a word, a singular word. That's
all I need.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Speaking of nuggets, I'm hungry. Let's get out of here before.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
We get you your nuggets, Ash. I do want to
say that if you have any other suggestions for parents
for us to talk to you on the podcast, Send
it our way on Instagram or at hello at two
Doting Dads dot com. There's also the Facebook group. There's
many people in there.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
Search two Doting Dads on Facebook. Join the community, join
the chats.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
Join the revolution.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Buddy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.

Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal Land

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#85 Cayla George - How My Sister-In-Law Gifted Me A Baby

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#85 Cayla George - How My Sister-In-Law Gifted Me A Baby