June 26, 2024 • 54 mins
CONVERSATIONS ON NAVIGATING AMBITION, OVERCOMING RESISTANCE AND DEFINING SUCCESS AND LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE
Main Topics:
- Overcoming Resistance to Dreams
- Is Motivation Bullshit?
- Defining Success
- Defining Collaboration
- The Book or Course We’d Pull an Oprah Moment For
In this episode of Anchor Your Dreams, join Meghan and guests Annette and Tara as they delve into overcoming resistance, motivation, and the concept of success. They share personal tips, motivational insights, and perspectives on collaboration and self-development. The rich discussion with Tara and Annette underscored the importance of defining success on personal terms, embracing the journey, and the power of authentic collaboration. Their perspectives illuminated that growth is continuous, and self-improvement requires patience, readiness, and the right mindset. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation that will inspire and empower you towards your dream life.
Useful references and links:
- Jack Canfield - The Success Principles
- Erin Skye Kelly - Get the Hell out of Debt
- Ashley Meadahl - Business + Instagram Coach
- The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
- David Chilton - The Wealthy Barber
Continue the conversation and connect with us on social media:
Follow Our Guests:
Tara | @transformwithtara
Annette | @annettejalbert_ddl | www.deliberatelydesignedlife.com
Please Leave a Review || We would love to hear your takeaways and “aha” moments from today’s episode. Please leave a star rating and a written review <3
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meghan (00:05):
If you are
someone who has a dream, but feel stuck.
If you are facing obstacles that seemoverwhelming, or if you just need a
dose of motivation to keep pushingforward, then you are in the right place.
So buckle up dreamers, anchoryour dreams is not just a podcast.
(00:26):
It's a community, a community of dreamers,supporting dreamers, women, supporting
women, subscribe, follow along, and let'snavigate the seas of ambition together.
Thank you for joiningme on this adventure.
Get ready to be inspired,motivated, and empowered.
The journey begins now.
(00:58):
I don't know what you're saying.
It's on the counter.
You guys were, yeah, but I'm busy.
Off you go.
Close the door.
Hello.
How are you?
Tara (01:14):
I'm good.
How are you?
How are you really?
Meghan (01:18):
I'm good.
I'm, I'm good.
It's been,
it's been really good actually.
Like, yeah, yeah.
I have made, um, I've had a lot oflike breakthroughs over the last
few months, I think, and I reallyfeel like I'm on a good path.
(01:46):
I feel like
it's exciting.
But it's, uh, it's a word I'm looking for,
like, it's the long game,you know, and I think, like,
(02:07):
looking back, um, I knew that.
When I thought about doing the podcast,and then I think I was resistant to it,
which is why I ended up filling up mytime with doing all sorts of other things,
(02:30):
um, instead of actually doing this.
So, it's been really great.
I, you know, do you know Nicole Murphy?
The
name's really familiar.
You,
oh, there's Annette.
Annette (02:51):
Blowing in like freight train, girls!
Blowing in like freight train.
Meghan (02:55):
All good.
Wouldn't, wouldn't have it any other way.
Right?
Exactly.
Annette (03:01):
I said to Mike, Fuck!
You gotta finish my supper!
Oh god, we're on record.
Get me ready, dish me up, and deliver.
Meghan (03:09):
It's all good.
Perfect.
Annette (03:10):
I'm ready!
Meghan (03:13):
Woohoo!
Annette (03:14):
Love it.
Love, love, love.
It's good to see you guys.
Holy smokes.
Meghan (03:18):
Well, are you ladies ready for some questions?
Rapid fire.
Annette (03:25):
Here comes my supper,
. Thanks babe.
Oh, thank you.
Tara (03:32):
Thanks babe.
Yeah,
. Meghan: So I think what we'll do is I'll ask a question and then, um,
like each of you have your time toanswer and kind of do it that way.
Okay.
Question number one, what would bea top tier tip you'd give to someone
(03:56):
who is experiencing resistanceto living their dream life?
Um, I can start, I think.
So I don't, I don't know how to say itright because I think this is something
(04:18):
that I heard over and over and over andover again in my journey in choosing to
leave education and choosing to live mybetter, best life was, it was just do it.
I must have heard it a thousand times.
(04:38):
Just take the leap.
Just do it.
And I hate that the word just is atthe front of that sentence, because
there's so much more to it than just.
Like, if it was just do it,we'd all be doing it already.
However, there's somethingto be said for just do it.
(05:00):
I think we create safety nets forourselves so that we don't have to.
We create boundaries so that we can't.
And at the end of the day.
You don't have to know how,you just have to do it.
(05:22):
You, you know what you need to do,
and when you're ready, you'll hearthe words, just do it, and suddenly
it will click, and you'll just do it.
Probably won't happen until you're reallyready to hear it, but when you're ready,
(05:44):
those words will make so much sense.
Meghan (05:48):
Love that.
Mm hmm.
Uh huh.
Annette (05:53):
Good advice, Tara.
Mine would be, but whatif it does work out?
And so for me, when I thinkabout this, um, because often
resistance comes with fear.
Um, can be fear of the unknown, maybefear of change, but usually the bottom
(06:15):
of it is fear of something or someone.
And so, uh, people tend to wantto look to that negative lens,
which is what builds resistance.
And so I like to just keep them inthe space of, but, but what if it,
you know, what's it going to looklike and what if it does all work?
(06:36):
So what, what's the difference?
So the cost in staying.
Where you are of resistanceversus the growth of imagining
that working out and that nextlevel coming to fruition for you.
So.
Meghan (06:55):
Love that.
I think, I think we've all had a momentthroughout our journeys where we've been,
we noticed some resistance in getting tothat place that we're looking to get to.
We've, you know, put it on paper.
This is how I want to live.
This is what I want to do.
This is where I want to go.
And then resistance starts creepingin, in some way, whether it's.
(07:21):
Like, noticeable or not, we do, westart to consciously or subconsciously,
um, adhere to that resistance.
And so I think it's, I thinkboth those tips are great.
What motivates you?
Do you
(07:44):
want me to start this time, Tara?
Sure.
Annette (07:47):
Okay.
Um,
how about For me, sorry, choking onmy smoky, uh, truthfully, life to
me is a little bit like, I feel likeI'm a little bit like a detective.
And so every day that I get to wakeup, it is like a little exploration.
(08:13):
And so even when things feel, I try notto use the language hard anymore, because
I, it just, but, I Even when thingsfeel like, uh, there's a bit of contrast
that comes in, I kind of just imaginemyself gearing up like a little, you
know, detective and getting my magnifyingglass on and just seeing, okay, what What
(08:37):
can I kind of uncover to keep me going?
And then what are some of theexciting things or looking at
it through that positive frame?
Gratitude for me is absolutelyan everyday, all day long thing.
And so I think when I'm lookingthrough that lens, it makes me
excited instead of Oh, right.
(09:01):
So I think it's just, I, I play detective,uh, I play detective with my clients
and they're all picking up on it now.
They're all like, it's almost like you'reteaching us to be a detective and like
our lives are like a little explorationand we're kind of just digging around
and seeing if we can get that out.
And I'm like, that's it.
That's exactly what we're doing.
(09:22):
And, you know, Sometimes you digup some stuff and it's not what you
thought and sometimes you dig on apath that you weren't expecting to
go on and good things can happen.
And sometimes you meet up with evenmore contrast and then so you just
gotta, you know, wipe off the oldmagnifying glass and look a little more.
Meghan (09:41):
Love that.
Tara what about you?
What motivates you?
Tara (09:46):
Um, I have kind of a controversial opinion about motivation.
Uh, I, I, motivation is bullshit to me.
Um, it's fleeting.
It's.
I can't rely on it.
I can't count on it.
Sometimes it's there.
Sometimes it's not there.
(10:07):
You know, I think about my why andsometimes that's strong enough to get
me going, but other times it's not.
And then I just feel bad that my whywasn't enough and I kind of spiral.
So, um, honestly it's, it's aminute to minute, hour to hour,
day to day making decisions.
(10:31):
Making the next right decision.
The next best right thing.
Choosing the next best right thing.
Do I get it right all the time?
No, absolutely not.
Um, but then I get to make a newdecision based on that last decision
and, and keep moving forwardand keep myself going forward.
(10:52):
So, you know, there's been timeswhere I'm like, I'll, I'll try to
like set a goal and use areward as a, as a motivator.
And sometimes it works.
And then I think, well, this is it,I've, I've found the key to motivation.
And then the next time I'll seta reward and it doesn't work.
(11:12):
And then I'm like, well, I'm a failure.
So.
Yeah.
Honestly, it's, I have a bit of a lovehate relationship with it, and I've
just sort of tried to let go of thatidea that I need something to push me.
I just need to make the next right,best decision, and hopefully I do that
(11:36):
more often than I make the next wrong.
Worst decision.
So, right for me.
Meghan (11:50):
Oh, goodness.
How do you define success?
Tara (12:02):
These are hard questions.
Annette (12:13):
For ourselves, this is, I feel like I'm really torn.
So how Tara didn't like motivation.
I just feel like I honestlyjust feel right now.
So do you want it for how do we define itfor ourselves or how do we define it when
we're working with people because that'stwo totally different arenas for me.
Meghan (12:34):
Interesting.
Let's Let's talk about ourselves.
Annette (12:41):
That, that feels better.
Um, Tara, do you have an answer yet?
Tara (12:52):
Um, sure.
I think
Meghan (12:58):
Okay, hold, sorry, hold on.
Okay, good.
Okay, good.
So, I want to talk about thisbecause this stumped both of you.
This is one of theshortest worded questions.
That I have and both of you are like,Whoa, so is it the word success or is
(13:19):
it the fact that you're needing to stopand think about what it means to you?
Like, is it, um, like, is theword success poisoned in some way?
Like Tara, you were talkingabout motivation and you
feel like it's fleeting.
Is.
This, like, would you say thatsuccess itself is fleeting as
(13:42):
well, or can you define it?
Do you ever feel like there is anend, quantifiable thing to success?
So, Annette, you're shaking your head,so I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Annette (13:59):
Yeah, so I think that's why I struggle, because first off, for
me, it is literally individualized,and far be it from me to define it for
somebody else, because I never wantsomeone to reach my benchmark, and
honestly, I look at my success every day.
So I don't, I mean, I havebig goals and big visions.
(14:26):
I don't hang a success logo onwhether or not I'm getting to those
because that path that leads meout to there is always changing.
And so if I hung my umbrella on a, thisis success, I really feel like myself
and anyone that I worked with wouldspend a lot of time in disappointment.
(14:49):
And I just.
It makes me sick to my stomachto even think like that.
I want people to understand thatthis literally is a constantly, this
is my personal opinion, but this isa constantly evolving, constantly
growing, constantly changing.
I just don't feel like there'sa coat hook that you can go when
(15:10):
I get to hear this is success.
I, I, and I push myself if I wasto hang my hat and success, I'd
have been done a long time ago.
What the fuck would I've been doingfor the last, how many, right?
Like it goes and grows every, it for meas an everyday, I evaluate this every day.
(15:32):
So that's why I think I'm sohung up on it because I don't
really know how I would define.
Meghan (15:42):
It sounds like for you, it's.
It's not so much of a tangiblething that, like you said, that you
can just see it clear at the end,um, of the path, and there it is,
and once you got it, you're done.
Because we're not ever done.
Annette (16:01):
I don't want to be done.
Done is dead.
Yeah.
That's not for me.
And I love that it is constantlyevolving and it is constantly changing
and things are coming up all thetime that caused me to make changes.
And so I just, to me, there's no universaljust road that's going to lead you there.
(16:25):
I just, I struggle with it.
Uh, I'll say to people, Ithink I'm very successful.
I would never say I've met success.
I don't know.
As soon as you said the question,I literally got sick to my stomach.
Meghan (16:44):
You're going to get your detective magnifying glass out and you're going
to look into that later, aren't you?
Annette (16:50):
I don't think I have to because, I mean, to me, I don't
hang myself anywhere near that word.
I don't hang myself withmy clients near that word.
What is success for youat this moment in time?
What, you know, what are you looking for?
But it's just not language that I use.
Meghan (17:09):
Right.
So Tara, how would you define success?
And after Annette has explainedwhat she has to say, are you feeling
like you could relate to that?
Or do you feel like in your Inyour life, success is something
that you can look at differently.
Tara (17:30):
Yeah, I think it's a really loaded word.
Um, there's so much,
so,
so much societal pressure on achievingthis idea of success, but no one really
(17:51):
knows what that looks like or feels like.
And as a result, I feel like we're inthis constant state of Failure because
you're either succeeding or you'refailing, there's no room for the in
between, but like all of life is the inbetween, like you're constantly setting
(18:15):
goals and achieving goals and movingforward and changing your financial
position and changing your, you know,helping your kids grow and, you know,
There's a lot of successes along the way.
Not all of those are necessarilyacknowledged in the societal
definition of success.
Therefore, we don't put thevalue on those successes that
(18:39):
should be on those successes.
And in turn, we just feel thisconstant sense of trying to do
more and get more and be more andnever really arriving at this place
that no one can actually define.
So I, yeah, I feel the sameand that I really struggle with
(19:00):
the definition and the word.
I've been successful at a lot of things.
I've completely failed at a lot of things.
None of that really impactsmy value in the world.
So, To define it, I think maybe we needto redefine it as a society and maybe
(19:27):
it can be sort of more of a mindset.
You know, I, I have achievedsuccess because I feel great.
I, I'm moving forward.
I'm doing things.
I'm creating things.
I'm being things.
And that's success.
Instead of here's this imaginaryline we're all trying to reach and
(19:47):
anything below that means failure.
Love it.
Annette (19:55):
I gotta interject.
Meghan (19:57):
Yeah.
Just
Annette (19:58):
one note.
So Tara, I wrote things when youwere writing, by whose measure
is success creating comparing?
These are all the thingsI just so dislike in life.
And what this is doing in, in thatrealm is creating a lack of gratitude
for where you are in this moment today.
(20:18):
So to me, it all associates to negativity.
Tara (20:22):
Yeah.
And I'm with you.
Like openness to thejourney, like you could.
Totally.
Because you, the journey equals failureand that's not, that's not real.
I, it's really similar to like the bodyimage issues and like we're supposed
to be at this ideal weight, height,waist, like A, who got to decide that?
(20:46):
And B, anything other thanthat means you're gross.
Like, why, why is that real?
You know, like, it's similar.
Annette (20:58):
And I think, I think too that it's um,
it almost seems like, Stunts individualityto the capacity to think about
what you want for your own success.
Because, because we get in this comparisongame, because we put up that measure.
(21:19):
Uh, and I don't say we as me'cause I couldn't give a fly and
about what anybody else is doing.
I really do look at success formyself and that's what I strongly
encourage my clients to do.
But uh, uh, just as an example,I had a client say to me.
You know, and that youtalk about a mediocre life.
(21:41):
And she said, you know, I, I just, whathappens if I'm okay with a mediocre life?
And I said, well, that's avery interesting comment.
Uh, can you explain that?
And she said, you know, you'retraveling, you guys are, you know,
you're doing all these things.
I'm watching you do all this.
And she said, I have nointerest in any of that.
(22:04):
I want to retire and have a biggarden and grow and go for a walk
to my cabin and just hang out.
And I'm like, so is thatwhat you want from your life?
And she said, yeah, that'sexactly what I'm looking for.
And I said, so how is that mediocre?
See, mediocre to me means you're makingsacrifices along the way to live a life
(22:28):
that you don't really want to live.
That showed me you're using externalelements, external people's lives, to
try to make a measurement for yourself.
And that's why I just struggle so muchbecause we have been so conditioned,
and I know I keep preaching aboutthrough social media and all
(22:50):
the things, but we really have.
We've been so conditioned to compareourselves and measure ourselves
to what everybody else is doing.
Whereas if we stop worrying about whatthe other people are doing and just.
Sit with yourself and askyourself, am I sitting in success
for what I wanted to do today?
Am I sitting in success for beingon the path to going or growing
(23:14):
in the way that I want to today?
And stop looking at what everybodyelse is around you is doing.
Who cares?
So I think that that's why it feelsjust so icky to me is just because
exactly what Tara said was that it's,you know, it's a measurement, it's a
societal, it's a stereotype of, youknow, oh, you got to earn a million
(23:40):
dollars a month to be successful.
Bullshit.
You got to earn the life you want tolive, and as long as you're living
that life, that to me is successful.
Meghan (23:52):
Yeah, I love that.
So, it's interesting that, like, thatword can bring up so much for people.
See, when I wrote this question,how do you define success?
My, my definition of success is,Am I living a life on my terms?
(24:15):
That for me is my success.
So if I'm showing up every day andI'm able to live a life on my terms
of what that looks like for me,then I am, that to me is my, that's
my definition of success for me.
And I, I didn't even think when I evenwrote this question, I didn't even think
(24:37):
about society's definition of success.
It was.
Just the individual and and where wecome from, but I do understand that.
Society conditions us to have thesedefinitions based on context of other
things around us all at the same time.
So, this is why I wanted to do this,um, this group meeting because I love
(25:03):
that there's different perspectivesfor everything and everybody has a
different answer and something So simple.
Like that, the shortest question that Ihave and it has brought up so much fire.
So I love that.
Do you both feel completewith that question?
Are we ready to move on?
Tara (25:22):
I do just want to add that it connects back to that first question of
like that resistance to live your life.
Essentially on your terms or yourbest life that definition of success
often stands in people's way.
And I know in my experience, thatwas definitely a contributing factor.
(25:44):
I was a mature teacher.
I was making lots of money.
I had summers off.
I had a pension.
I, you know, how could you walk away?
Because that was a definition of success.
I'd made it, but in me and inmy heart, I was very broken.
(26:06):
Nobody saw that but me.
So for some people that is definitelyplaying into their resistance.
Annette (26:17):
Love that connection, Tara.
Okay.
Tara (26:21):
Oh, I'm ready.
Meghan (26:22):
Okay.
Uh, what is collaboration to you?
Tara (26:34):
I could start because.
This has really dramatically changedfor me in the last couple of months.
I thought that collaboration meant, um,being open to other people's thoughts
(26:55):
and ideas about your work or your
behavior or your really anything, justbeing open to hearing, taking it in,
taking the pieces that apply or thatmake sense to you and using them and,
and then moving forward with your thing.
(27:17):
And recently I had the opportunityto actually, from scratch,
build something new with otherpeople, alongside other people.
And it was an entirelydifferent experience.
I didn't do very well in it.
(27:40):
But I did learn a lot.
From it, because
building something with someone else whomay have a completely different vision,
who may have a completely differentexperience, thoughts, ideas, coming
together and building something togetheris so much different than creating
(28:06):
something and taking people's thoughts andfeelings about it, and it's still yours.
And I've had to, like, openmyself up completely in a way
that was uncomfortable, but.
ultimately really good for me.
Completely, completely.
And they're like, it wasn't withoutthe tears or The name calling.
(28:33):
There was some growing pains,
but there was growth.
I don't know, I think as a teacheryou're on an island and as much as
you like, say you work with othersand you're, you work well with others,
it's more of like, here, use this.
I liked it.
(28:53):
Here, use this.
I liked it.
Can I have that?
I like it.
Which is a different version of, I don'twant to say it's not collaboration,
it's just a different version.
And actually creatingsomething with something.
Meghan (29:07):
Okay, after you just said that, I can even more clearly understand why
you had that sort of outlook on whatcollaboration was before versus now.
Yeah.
What about you, Annette?
Annette (29:25):
Mine's more broad spectrum, truthfully.
So mine is anywhere from a coffee shopconversation to a business partnership.
Um, so to me, it's.
reciprocal between two or morepeople, parties, businesses,
um, and it is literally just
(29:50):
Generating ideas betweeneach of the parties.
Um, and kind of what Tara was sayingbefore is like some, some you want to
take, some you don't want to take, someyou want to use, some you don't want to
use, uh, obviously if it is transcribed.
Something like building somethingup, then, you know, you have
(30:11):
to have a come together.
But in the collaborations thatI do, whether it's personally or
professionally, at the end of the day,mostly my stuff is still me generated.
And so my collaborations looklike having conversations, gaining
insights, gaining ideas, being ableto bounce things off of someone.
(30:34):
Um, and, and yet, Gathering thatinformation, but then going back and
being able to decide what, what of thatdo I want to carry forward and being
able to offer that for somebody else.
So mine is quite a bit more.
Broad spectrum.
Maybe that's why I don't do wellwith having business partners,
(30:56):
you know, just things like that.
Just might throw that out there.
Yeah, I, I, I honestly, I don't knowif there's anything I've ever built
from my ground up with someone else.
I never say, like, I gotta tell youright now, the term that drives me
(31:19):
effing bonkers is self made whatever.
No one is self made anything.
So to me, there's always someonealong your path that's influenced
you in some way, shape or form.
And that to me is what collaboration is.
(31:39):
So I just.
I don't believe in self-made humans.
So it sounds like
we're constantly collaborating,like on a daily basis.
There's some, whether, whether it'sacknowledged by another party or not,
we're utilizing something, um, orinfluenced by, or inspired by, and
(32:05):
therefore that is a form of collaboration
that that's it for me.
I just spent eight hoursin our RV park office.
I collaborated all day long.
You know, I am influencing whatthey're doing on their trip, they're
influencing me as a business owner,like it, that's collaboration.
(32:25):
I'm in it every day, all day long.
That's why I say it's from a coffeeshop to, to, you know, I'm sitting
tonight and me and Mike are havingconversations about business stuff,
we're collaborating on, you know,next steps, all those big things.
But I feel like that, I mean,collaboration and relationship
(32:45):
building seem very similar to me.
Meghan (32:49):
I like that.
Relationship building is definitely, um,
a huge part, I, I feel,of collaborations as well.
Because, uh,
you're, when you're workingwith other people, um, and
you're, you're not in control.
(33:09):
of how they're choosing to show up.
So there is a constant, um, you know,back and forth, uh, with collaborations.
And even, um, I will also add tothis too, like even parenting is a
form of collaboration when you'redealing with your children, you, you
know, it's like, um, so, Uh, sorry.
(33:35):
My dog.
Somebody opened my door.
My dog just snuck in here.
I thought she was going to do thefull, like, leap up on the bed
thing that she normally likes to do.
Annette (33:45):
Yeah.
Meghan (33:47):
Um, okay.
What?
Sorry, do you both feelcomplete with that answer?
Yep.
I'm good.
Tara, do you feel complete withthe collaboration question?
Tara (34:01):
I do, yes.
Meghan (34:02):
Okay, my next question is, what self development book or
course would you gift to somebody?
Like you feel it is the ultimate of booksor courses and if you could you would like
You do the Oprah thing you get one and youget one and you get one and you get one
Annette (34:31):
I mine's easy.
So do you want me to go first Tara?
100 percent Jack Canfieldthe success principles.
That is a Bible for personal development
Meghan (34:40):
Can you say that one more time just a titch bit slower?
Annette (34:44):
Okay, I said 100 percent hands down, uh, Jack
Canfield's The Success Principles.
So for me, that is just a absoluteBible for personal development.
Love the book.
Did all of his trainings,100 percent recommend it.
Meghan (35:04):
Awesome.
Tara, what about you?
Tara (35:08):
Hmm.
This is actually a really tough question.
Um, I think part of my problem is that.
Like,
(35:28):
I just think, I think you have to be inthe right space and place for anything.
And then I, I kind of think thatanything will work if you're in
the right space and place for it.
Like, there's so many good things.
Our, our time with Ashley was amazing.
(35:50):
Like, it pushed me to levelsI didn't even know I wanted to
go to and then financially Icouldn't continue that journey.
Um, but also emotionally, Ijust wasn't there anymore,
but she's magical.
Like, she's amazing at what she does.
(36:12):
Um, you know, Erin, Erin SkyKelly and Achievement Club
was like life changing for me.
Um, I think it brought me.
Out of my shell in a way thatI really desperately needed.
(36:33):
Um, it helped me find a voice thatI didn't know was as loud as it was
and gave it a platform to live on.
So that was incredible for me.
I've been in Aaron's get the hell out ofdebt program for 18 years, I think, and
(36:53):
I've just now started to work the program.
And again, it's magic becauseI'm ready because I've arrived at
that place where now is the time.
So I think there's so many good resources.
I don't know if I could pinpointone that has like, been the one
(37:13):
that I would gift to everyone.
I would just gift everyone allthe money to find their thing.
And whatever you're In the zone forit'll work because you'll make it
if I like, I really avoidthe question, not actually
Meghan (37:35):
it's okay though, because it's interesting.
I, I actually have been reading abook and I, um, I probably sound like
a complete broken record to a lot ofpeople lately, because I'm constantly
saying, well, in the book, in thisbook, oh my gosh, you know, and it's,
(37:55):
it's really played such a huge, uh,part in everything that I have been
going through over the last few months.
And it's, um, the 15 commitments of
conscious leadership.
I think I said that right.
Um, and it's, it's got like a lotof stuff in there and it really is
(38:23):
like, could relate to, I mean, it'skind of written like for business,
but every time I read it, I'm usingall sorts of different scenarios of
my own personal life and everything.
Anyways, that's the one that Iwould pick, uh, just because.
(38:44):
I think that it really, it would benefitanybody at any stage of their life.
Like, I think it should begiven out in high schools.
Like, and, and part of acurriculum of some kind.
Um, like, you only getcredits if you read this book.
(39:06):
I don't know.
It's just, it's incredible.
Um, And, uh, yeah, so that's kindof one of the ones that lately,
and, and of course, like I too,well, what I was going to say.
Is that also thought about that thereare lots of people and this is why this
is how that question came up actually isbecause I thought to myself, Oh, I just
(39:29):
want to give this book to everybody.
Like I wish I could just giftedand give it to everybody, but I
had to sit with that because then Ithought to myself well I can gift it.
Sure, I could give it toanybody and everybody.
However, would they be readyto sit down and read it like
that is kind of where so I.
(39:52):
I can understand that sort ofinitial, yes, I know the one.
Because I'm there, too.
And I also can understand, Tara, youranswer about, you know, how all these
different things, all these, like,courses and programs and masterminds,
um, that we choose to do along theway, they serve their purpose when we
(40:12):
choose to show up and be committed.
And, um, and do the work.
Annette (40:20):
I agree, Tara.
I think, like, what yousaid makes a lot of sense.
I'm more like you, though, Meg.
Like, I, I said that when Iread The Success Principles.
I'm like every school student should readthis because there are some pretty basic
things in there that if you make justthose little changes, so one of the things
(40:42):
that, have either of you read the book?
I agree.
No, okay.
Maybe I'll have to mail you them.
I go to the used bookstoreand I just buy them.
Every time they comeon the shelf, I buy it.
Like, I love the book.
Love it.
Meghan (40:55):
Um, sorry, but love this idea.
So, now I have to go to the usedbookstores and I'm gonna hoard.
All the books I want to give to
people.
Annette (41:06):
Yep, I do that.
I've got a box sitting over there.
Um, I literally do that.
I, everywhere.
And the other one that I alwaysgift people is The Wealthy Barber.
I love that book as well.
But anyway, with thesuccess principles, yeah.
I just feel like it doesn'tmatter where you are.
But in there, he says something.
That, uh, when people, Say they never havetime or they can't do things or whatever.
(41:31):
He talks about Can youfree up one hour a day?
And I know we've all heard this storybefore But when you I actually used
it when I was teaching CLC 12 Butwhen you free up one hour of day
over the course of a year You've nowgifted yourself nine weeks of time.
(41:55):
And if that doesn't change your life andmake you want to try to find that hour
a day, whether that's working on yourbusiness, working on your health, uh,
whatever it is that you need to allocate,um, one hour a day in nine weeks, you
can create or do or be or have a lot.
(42:17):
So it's just very understandable by anylevel and there's something in there
that will hit no matter where you are.
So I agree with you, Tara.
I think when I think more like whatyou're saying, like programs, 100%.
But to me, the success principlesis a book that it doesn't matter
(42:38):
where you are in your life.
Well, I should, I mean, there would besome exceptions to that, but I honestly
think pretty much anybody could pick thatup, read it and get something from it.
It's on my list.
I have to fill out aquestionnaire for a second.
(43:00):
Mine literally, I'm just looking tosee, it's usually packed around with me.
You guys, it's full of sticky notes.
The cover is just like mutilated.
I don't even think I see it.
(43:20):
There it is.
It's all war.
My, my wording's all war.
Everything is sticky notes.
It's such a good book.
It literally is like a bible.
Meghan (43:33):
Amazing.
Never fails.
Do not disturb mom.
She's going in her room.
I'm pretty sure they have poked theirheads in here half a dozen times.
Um,
(43:54):
okay.
Those, those were my five questions.
Those were my five main questions.
So,
and again, close the door, please.
Um,
five main questions.
(44:15):
So the questions I'm just goingto go back and if you guys have
anything that you want to add.
So question number one was a top tier tipyou give to someone who is experiencing
resistance to living their dream life.
Does anyone have anythingto add to that one?
(44:38):
What motivates you?
This kind of stuff right here.
This is what motivates me.
Annette (44:47):
I'm with you.
Like masterminds, anything,you know, when you're.
Yeah,
Meghan (44:55):
collaborations.
Exactly.
Right.
So even going back to like, mytip, um, would be getting community
around you to support and help youand whether that is, um, you know,
in person, if you have Yes, exactly.
Different business groups, um, whateverthat looks like, or yeah, doing a huge
(45:21):
leap and going out and finding, um,a conference or a summit or something
that is in line with what your, whatyour dream life would look like.
Um, so yeah, and, and this kind ofstuff, this motivates me for sure.
Um, yeah.
And defining success to me being here,showing up with you ladies right now.
(45:47):
For me, this is all part of that.
It's all part of that for me.
Um, and collaboration as Annette,you just also mentioned, this is,
this, this is collaboration andI love collaborating with people.
I love, of course, having thosethings that I build and design and
create and all that kind of stuff.
(46:08):
And, and have more control over it.
However, I also love collaborating withpeople and, uh, self development book.
Well, or course, um.
The book, The 15 Commitments, it'ssomething that I started reading because
(46:31):
of a course that I decided to sign myselfup for, and the emphasis in this program
is not just on business, it's on selfdevelopment and it's like this It's
like a hybrid program that I've nevereven read of or heard of or anything.
(46:53):
So this type of program,um, has been incredible.
And it's part of the reason why Iwas able to invite you ladies here
today for this panel of questions.
And, uh, do you have anyclosing things to say?
(47:16):
I
Tara (47:16):
think you, I think you've covered.
Everything they were really great.
Thought provoking anddiscussion inducing questions.
Um,
yeah, and probably 6 months fromnow, if we revisit them, my,
my answers will likely change.
(47:40):
For every stage of life,there's a new perspective and.
Mindset and new ways of thinking.
So yeah, I think it was justreally great to be on here
and visiting with you ladies.
Cause it just feels like we're visiting,but these are the kinds of conversations
(48:01):
that, yeah, I don't know if they motivateme, but they light me up and they make
me happy and they fill my cup and,um, yeah, I'm excited to have them.
Meghan (48:13):
Love that.
Annette (48:14):
Yeah.
I was going to say the same thing.
It's definitely, uh.
thought provoking for sure.
So, you know, even just thinkingabout the questions that
kind of lit that fire, right?
And it's like, hmm, some journalingaround something like that, right?
Just to kind of go like, what is there?
(48:35):
You start that talking it out,but, you know, doing the reflection
at the end of the day and kindof just think about, okay, what
was it that kind of lit that up?
Or, you know, how to dig a little deeper.
And I, I agree with you, Tara.
Like, these questions six months ago, ourlenses would have looked very different.
(48:57):
Um, and, and six months fromnow, or a year from now, they're
going to look different again.
It's seasons of life.
But I think it's also how much workwe're doing on ourselves creates
a completely different response.
So I, I think a completely different way.
To manage yourself in circumstance.
Meghan (49:20):
So, meeting here in six months from now?
That's great.
Annette (49:26):
Sounds good
Meghan (49:26):
to me.
I'll have different questions.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
It's so good to see you guys.
Yes, well, thank you both for takingthe time out of your schedules
to do this and meet with me.
(49:48):
Um, I was also thinking it wouldbe super cool To meet with you each
individually and do like my moretraditional podcast questions and have
that too if you guys are open for it.
(50:08):
And I know you've filled out my formand you're probably just waiting for
me to send you my calendar for that.
Annette (50:16):
Listen, it's all, all in the right time.
That's how I run my life.
Meghan (50:22):
For sure.
And that's exactly what I've learned somuch over this last little while as well.
It's like, um, yeah, totally.
You can't rush.
You can't rush living, especiallyif you are doing the work because
you can't rush the work either.
(50:44):
Um, and that's what I'm learning.
And I'm learning to live, like, a lot morepresently and, um, Yeah, saying, saying
no to things, but really saying yes tothings that, um, push me in a way that I
wouldn't have otherwise agreed to beforein the past six months ago, you know,
Annette (51:10):
right.
I have my gift took me quite a longtime ago something and I think that this
is very fitting for this conversation.
And that is enjoy the journeythat you're on and not just
the destination that you reach.
Thanks so much.
And that is significant.
That's made a huge change andthat's at present moment living.
Meghan (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Well, and I had a converse, well, itgoes back to this idea that, um, I had a
few years ago now, and it was just moreabout, there's no real destination for
me, it's more of like just following mytrue North, like I drew a picture of a
(51:54):
compass and I just was thinking about it.
And I just thought, yeah, okay, well,as long as I'm just always following
whatever my true north feels liketo me internally and in alignment,
then that That's where I'm going.
That's the path.
There's no real end destination,just like there is no, uh, end, like
(52:18):
tangible thing to define success.
So that's, that's kind of whatmade me think about what, how I
look at success now, because Idon't see like an end to anything.
It just is how we feel internally, thealignment and all that kind of stuff.
Annette (52:41):
Love it.
Well, thanks again.
So yeah, thank you again so much.
And then I'll be in touch withscheduling a separate solo podcast,
but I think it'd be kind of fun to havesomething with both of you and then
do like follow ups, um, individually.
I think that'd be kind of cool.
So if you're game.
(53:05):
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
Ready.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Meghan (53:29):
Thank you for joining this week's episode of Anchor Your Dreams.
I hope you enjoyed today'sconversation as much as I did.
A big thank you to our incredible guestsfor sharing their wisdom and insights.
If you resonated with today's episodeand want to explore more about
turning your dreams into reality,Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
We have a lineup of amazing guestsand valuable content coming your way.
(53:53):
Don't forget to connectwith us on social media.
You can find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Share your thoughts, insights,and your own journey using the
hashtag anchor, your dreams.
Head over to our websiteat meganmcquillen.
com in the podcast section, where you'llfind the show notes, resources, and
information about upcoming episodes.
(54:14):
Before we wrap up, I want to express mygratitude to each and every one of you.
Your support means the worldto me, and I'm thrilled to
be on this journey with you.
Remember, anchored dreams becomegoals, anchored goals become results.
Until next time, dreambig and stay anchored.
If you are
someone who has a dream, but feel stuck.
If you are facing obstacles that seemoverwhelming, or if you just need a
dose of motivation to keep pushingforward, then you are in the right place.
So buckle up dreamers, anchoryour dreams is not just a podcast.
(00:26):
It's a community, a community of dreamers,supporting dreamers, women, supporting
women, subscribe, follow along, and let'snavigate the seas of ambition together.
Thank you for joiningme on this adventure.
Get ready to be inspired,motivated, and empowered.
The journey begins now.
(00:58):
I don't know what you're saying.
It's on the counter.
You guys were, yeah, but I'm busy.
Off you go.
Close the door.
Hello.
How are you?
Tara (01:14):
I'm good.
How are you?
How are you really?
Meghan (01:18):
I'm good.
I'm, I'm good.
It's been,
it's been really good actually.
Like, yeah, yeah.
I have made, um, I've had a lot oflike breakthroughs over the last
few months, I think, and I reallyfeel like I'm on a good path.
(01:46):
I feel like
it's exciting.
But it's, uh, it's a word I'm looking for,
like, it's the long game,you know, and I think, like,
(02:07):
looking back, um, I knew that.
When I thought about doing the podcast,and then I think I was resistant to it,
which is why I ended up filling up mytime with doing all sorts of other things,
(02:30):
um, instead of actually doing this.
So, it's been really great.
I, you know, do you know Nicole Murphy?
The
name's really familiar.
You,
oh, there's Annette.
Annette (02:51):
Blowing in like freight train, girls!
Blowing in like freight train.
Meghan (02:55):
All good.
Wouldn't, wouldn't have it any other way.
Right?
Exactly.
Annette (03:01):
I said to Mike, Fuck!
You gotta finish my supper!
Oh god, we're on record.
Get me ready, dish me up, and deliver.
Meghan (03:09):
It's all good.
Perfect.
Annette (03:10):
I'm ready!
Meghan (03:13):
Woohoo!
Annette (03:14):
Love it.
Love, love, love.
It's good to see you guys.
Holy smokes.
Meghan (03:18):
Well, are you ladies ready for some questions?
Rapid fire.
Annette (03:25):
Here comes my supper,
. Thanks babe.
Oh, thank you.
Tara (03:32):
Thanks babe.
Yeah,
. Meghan: So I think what we'll do is I'll ask a question and then, um,
like each of you have your time toanswer and kind of do it that way.
Okay.
Question number one, what would bea top tier tip you'd give to someone
(03:56):
who is experiencing resistanceto living their dream life?
Um, I can start, I think.
So I don't, I don't know how to say itright because I think this is something
(04:18):
that I heard over and over and over andover again in my journey in choosing to
leave education and choosing to live mybetter, best life was, it was just do it.
I must have heard it a thousand times.
(04:38):
Just take the leap.
Just do it.
And I hate that the word just is atthe front of that sentence, because
there's so much more to it than just.
Like, if it was just do it,we'd all be doing it already.
However, there's somethingto be said for just do it.
(05:00):
I think we create safety nets forourselves so that we don't have to.
We create boundaries so that we can't.
And at the end of the day.
You don't have to know how,you just have to do it.
(05:22):
You, you know what you need to do,
and when you're ready, you'll hearthe words, just do it, and suddenly
it will click, and you'll just do it.
Probably won't happen until you're reallyready to hear it, but when you're ready,
(05:44):
those words will make so much sense.
Meghan (05:48):
Love that.
Mm hmm.
Uh huh.
Annette (05:53):
Good advice, Tara.
Mine would be, but whatif it does work out?
And so for me, when I thinkabout this, um, because often
resistance comes with fear.
Um, can be fear of the unknown, maybefear of change, but usually the bottom
(06:15):
of it is fear of something or someone.
And so, uh, people tend to wantto look to that negative lens,
which is what builds resistance.
And so I like to just keep them inthe space of, but, but what if it,
you know, what's it going to looklike and what if it does all work?
(06:36):
So what, what's the difference?
So the cost in staying.
Where you are of resistanceversus the growth of imagining
that working out and that nextlevel coming to fruition for you.
So.
Meghan (06:55):
Love that.
I think, I think we've all had a momentthroughout our journeys where we've been,
we noticed some resistance in getting tothat place that we're looking to get to.
We've, you know, put it on paper.
This is how I want to live.
This is what I want to do.
This is where I want to go.
And then resistance starts creepingin, in some way, whether it's.
(07:21):
Like, noticeable or not, we do, westart to consciously or subconsciously,
um, adhere to that resistance.
And so I think it's, I thinkboth those tips are great.
What motivates you?
Do you
(07:44):
want me to start this time, Tara?
Sure.
Annette (07:47):
Okay.
Um,
how about For me, sorry, choking onmy smoky, uh, truthfully, life to
me is a little bit like, I feel likeI'm a little bit like a detective.
And so every day that I get to wakeup, it is like a little exploration.
(08:13):
And so even when things feel, I try notto use the language hard anymore, because
I, it just, but, I Even when thingsfeel like, uh, there's a bit of contrast
that comes in, I kind of just imaginemyself gearing up like a little, you
know, detective and getting my magnifyingglass on and just seeing, okay, what What
(08:37):
can I kind of uncover to keep me going?
And then what are some of theexciting things or looking at
it through that positive frame?
Gratitude for me is absolutelyan everyday, all day long thing.
And so I think when I'm lookingthrough that lens, it makes me
excited instead of Oh, right.
(09:01):
So I think it's just, I, I play detective,uh, I play detective with my clients
and they're all picking up on it now.
They're all like, it's almost like you'reteaching us to be a detective and like
our lives are like a little explorationand we're kind of just digging around
and seeing if we can get that out.
And I'm like, that's it.
That's exactly what we're doing.
(09:22):
And, you know, Sometimes you digup some stuff and it's not what you
thought and sometimes you dig on apath that you weren't expecting to
go on and good things can happen.
And sometimes you meet up with evenmore contrast and then so you just
gotta, you know, wipe off the oldmagnifying glass and look a little more.
Meghan (09:41):
Love that.
Tara what about you?
What motivates you?
Tara (09:46):
Um, I have kind of a controversial opinion about motivation.
Uh, I, I, motivation is bullshit to me.
Um, it's fleeting.
It's.
I can't rely on it.
I can't count on it.
Sometimes it's there.
Sometimes it's not there.
(10:07):
You know, I think about my why andsometimes that's strong enough to get
me going, but other times it's not.
And then I just feel bad that my whywasn't enough and I kind of spiral.
So, um, honestly it's, it's aminute to minute, hour to hour,
day to day making decisions.
(10:31):
Making the next right decision.
The next best right thing.
Choosing the next best right thing.
Do I get it right all the time?
No, absolutely not.
Um, but then I get to make a newdecision based on that last decision
and, and keep moving forwardand keep myself going forward.
(10:52):
So, you know, there's been timeswhere I'm like, I'll, I'll try to
like set a goal and use areward as a, as a motivator.
And sometimes it works.
And then I think, well, this is it,I've, I've found the key to motivation.
And then the next time I'll seta reward and it doesn't work.
(11:12):
And then I'm like, well, I'm a failure.
So.
Yeah.
Honestly, it's, I have a bit of a lovehate relationship with it, and I've
just sort of tried to let go of thatidea that I need something to push me.
I just need to make the next right,best decision, and hopefully I do that
(11:36):
more often than I make the next wrong.
Worst decision.
So, right for me.
Meghan (11:50):
Oh, goodness.
How do you define success?
Tara (12:02):
These are hard questions.
Annette (12:13):
For ourselves, this is, I feel like I'm really torn.
So how Tara didn't like motivation.
I just feel like I honestlyjust feel right now.
So do you want it for how do we define itfor ourselves or how do we define it when
we're working with people because that'stwo totally different arenas for me.
Meghan (12:34):
Interesting.
Let's Let's talk about ourselves.
Annette (12:41):
That, that feels better.
Um, Tara, do you have an answer yet?
Tara (12:52):
Um, sure.
I think
Meghan (12:58):
Okay, hold, sorry, hold on.
Okay, good.
Okay, good.
So, I want to talk about thisbecause this stumped both of you.
This is one of theshortest worded questions.
That I have and both of you are like,Whoa, so is it the word success or is
(13:19):
it the fact that you're needing to stopand think about what it means to you?
Like, is it, um, like, is theword success poisoned in some way?
Like Tara, you were talkingabout motivation and you
feel like it's fleeting.
Is.
This, like, would you say thatsuccess itself is fleeting as
(13:42):
well, or can you define it?
Do you ever feel like there is anend, quantifiable thing to success?
So, Annette, you're shaking your head,so I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Annette (13:59):
Yeah, so I think that's why I struggle, because first off, for
me, it is literally individualized,and far be it from me to define it for
somebody else, because I never wantsomeone to reach my benchmark, and
honestly, I look at my success every day.
So I don't, I mean, I havebig goals and big visions.
(14:26):
I don't hang a success logo onwhether or not I'm getting to those
because that path that leads meout to there is always changing.
And so if I hung my umbrella on a, thisis success, I really feel like myself
and anyone that I worked with wouldspend a lot of time in disappointment.
(14:49):
And I just.
It makes me sick to my stomachto even think like that.
I want people to understand thatthis literally is a constantly, this
is my personal opinion, but this isa constantly evolving, constantly
growing, constantly changing.
I just don't feel like there'sa coat hook that you can go when
(15:10):
I get to hear this is success.
I, I, and I push myself if I wasto hang my hat and success, I'd
have been done a long time ago.
What the fuck would I've been doingfor the last, how many, right?
Like it goes and grows every, it for meas an everyday, I evaluate this every day.
(15:32):
So that's why I think I'm sohung up on it because I don't
really know how I would define.
Meghan (15:42):
It sounds like for you, it's.
It's not so much of a tangiblething that, like you said, that you
can just see it clear at the end,um, of the path, and there it is,
and once you got it, you're done.
Because we're not ever done.
Annette (16:01):
I don't want to be done.
Done is dead.
Yeah.
That's not for me.
And I love that it is constantlyevolving and it is constantly changing
and things are coming up all thetime that caused me to make changes.
And so I just, to me, there's no universaljust road that's going to lead you there.
(16:25):
I just, I struggle with it.
Uh, I'll say to people, Ithink I'm very successful.
I would never say I've met success.
I don't know.
As soon as you said the question,I literally got sick to my stomach.
Meghan (16:44):
You're going to get your detective magnifying glass out and you're going
to look into that later, aren't you?
Annette (16:50):
I don't think I have to because, I mean, to me, I don't
hang myself anywhere near that word.
I don't hang myself withmy clients near that word.
What is success for youat this moment in time?
What, you know, what are you looking for?
But it's just not language that I use.
Meghan (17:09):
Right.
So Tara, how would you define success?
And after Annette has explainedwhat she has to say, are you feeling
like you could relate to that?
Or do you feel like in your Inyour life, success is something
that you can look at differently.
Tara (17:30):
Yeah, I think it's a really loaded word.
Um, there's so much,
so,
so much societal pressure on achievingthis idea of success, but no one really
(17:51):
knows what that looks like or feels like.
And as a result, I feel like we're inthis constant state of Failure because
you're either succeeding or you'refailing, there's no room for the in
between, but like all of life is the inbetween, like you're constantly setting
(18:15):
goals and achieving goals and movingforward and changing your financial
position and changing your, you know,helping your kids grow and, you know,
There's a lot of successes along the way.
Not all of those are necessarilyacknowledged in the societal
definition of success.
Therefore, we don't put thevalue on those successes that
(18:39):
should be on those successes.
And in turn, we just feel thisconstant sense of trying to do
more and get more and be more andnever really arriving at this place
that no one can actually define.
So I, yeah, I feel the sameand that I really struggle with
(19:00):
the definition and the word.
I've been successful at a lot of things.
I've completely failed at a lot of things.
None of that really impactsmy value in the world.
So, To define it, I think maybe we needto redefine it as a society and maybe
(19:27):
it can be sort of more of a mindset.
You know, I, I have achievedsuccess because I feel great.
I, I'm moving forward.
I'm doing things.
I'm creating things.
I'm being things.
And that's success.
Instead of here's this imaginaryline we're all trying to reach and
(19:47):
anything below that means failure.
Love it.
Annette (19:55):
I gotta interject.
Meghan (19:57):
Yeah.
Just
Annette (19:58):
one note.
So Tara, I wrote things when youwere writing, by whose measure
is success creating comparing?
These are all the thingsI just so dislike in life.
And what this is doing in, in thatrealm is creating a lack of gratitude
for where you are in this moment today.
(20:18):
So to me, it all associates to negativity.
Tara (20:22):
Yeah.
And I'm with you.
Like openness to thejourney, like you could.
Totally.
Because you, the journey equals failureand that's not, that's not real.
I, it's really similar to like the bodyimage issues and like we're supposed
to be at this ideal weight, height,waist, like A, who got to decide that?
(20:46):
And B, anything other thanthat means you're gross.
Like, why, why is that real?
You know, like, it's similar.
Annette (20:58):
And I think, I think too that it's um,
it almost seems like, Stunts individualityto the capacity to think about
what you want for your own success.
Because, because we get in this comparisongame, because we put up that measure.
(21:19):
Uh, and I don't say we as me'cause I couldn't give a fly and
about what anybody else is doing.
I really do look at success formyself and that's what I strongly
encourage my clients to do.
But uh, uh, just as an example,I had a client say to me.
You know, and that youtalk about a mediocre life.
(21:41):
And she said, you know, I, I just, whathappens if I'm okay with a mediocre life?
And I said, well, that's avery interesting comment.
Uh, can you explain that?
And she said, you know, you'retraveling, you guys are, you know,
you're doing all these things.
I'm watching you do all this.
And she said, I have nointerest in any of that.
(22:04):
I want to retire and have a biggarden and grow and go for a walk
to my cabin and just hang out.
And I'm like, so is thatwhat you want from your life?
And she said, yeah, that'sexactly what I'm looking for.
And I said, so how is that mediocre?
See, mediocre to me means you're makingsacrifices along the way to live a life
(22:28):
that you don't really want to live.
That showed me you're using externalelements, external people's lives, to
try to make a measurement for yourself.
And that's why I just struggle so muchbecause we have been so conditioned,
and I know I keep preaching aboutthrough social media and all
(22:50):
the things, but we really have.
We've been so conditioned to compareourselves and measure ourselves
to what everybody else is doing.
Whereas if we stop worrying about whatthe other people are doing and just.
Sit with yourself and askyourself, am I sitting in success
for what I wanted to do today?
Am I sitting in success for beingon the path to going or growing
(23:14):
in the way that I want to today?
And stop looking at what everybodyelse is around you is doing.
Who cares?
So I think that that's why it feelsjust so icky to me is just because
exactly what Tara said was that it's,you know, it's a measurement, it's a
societal, it's a stereotype of, youknow, oh, you got to earn a million
(23:40):
dollars a month to be successful.
Bullshit.
You got to earn the life you want tolive, and as long as you're living
that life, that to me is successful.
Meghan (23:52):
Yeah, I love that.
So, it's interesting that, like, thatword can bring up so much for people.
See, when I wrote this question,how do you define success?
My, my definition of success is,Am I living a life on my terms?
(24:15):
That for me is my success.
So if I'm showing up every day andI'm able to live a life on my terms
of what that looks like for me,then I am, that to me is my, that's
my definition of success for me.
And I, I didn't even think when I evenwrote this question, I didn't even think
(24:37):
about society's definition of success.
It was.
Just the individual and and where wecome from, but I do understand that.
Society conditions us to have thesedefinitions based on context of other
things around us all at the same time.
So, this is why I wanted to do this,um, this group meeting because I love
(25:03):
that there's different perspectivesfor everything and everybody has a
different answer and something So simple.
Like that, the shortest question that Ihave and it has brought up so much fire.
So I love that.
Do you both feel completewith that question?
Are we ready to move on?
Tara (25:22):
I do just want to add that it connects back to that first question of
like that resistance to live your life.
Essentially on your terms or yourbest life that definition of success
often stands in people's way.
And I know in my experience, thatwas definitely a contributing factor.
(25:44):
I was a mature teacher.
I was making lots of money.
I had summers off.
I had a pension.
I, you know, how could you walk away?
Because that was a definition of success.
I'd made it, but in me and inmy heart, I was very broken.
(26:06):
Nobody saw that but me.
So for some people that is definitelyplaying into their resistance.
Annette (26:17):
Love that connection, Tara.
Okay.
Tara (26:21):
Oh, I'm ready.
Meghan (26:22):
Okay.
Uh, what is collaboration to you?
Tara (26:34):
I could start because.
This has really dramatically changedfor me in the last couple of months.
I thought that collaboration meant, um,being open to other people's thoughts
(26:55):
and ideas about your work or your
behavior or your really anything, justbeing open to hearing, taking it in,
taking the pieces that apply or thatmake sense to you and using them and,
and then moving forward with your thing.
(27:17):
And recently I had the opportunityto actually, from scratch,
build something new with otherpeople, alongside other people.
And it was an entirelydifferent experience.
I didn't do very well in it.
(27:40):
But I did learn a lot.
From it, because
building something with someone else whomay have a completely different vision,
who may have a completely differentexperience, thoughts, ideas, coming
together and building something togetheris so much different than creating
(28:06):
something and taking people's thoughts andfeelings about it, and it's still yours.
And I've had to, like, openmyself up completely in a way
that was uncomfortable, but.
ultimately really good for me.
Completely, completely.
And they're like, it wasn't withoutthe tears or The name calling.
(28:33):
There was some growing pains,
but there was growth.
I don't know, I think as a teacheryou're on an island and as much as
you like, say you work with othersand you're, you work well with others,
it's more of like, here, use this.
I liked it.
(28:53):
Here, use this.
I liked it.
Can I have that?
I like it.
Which is a different version of, I don'twant to say it's not collaboration,
it's just a different version.
And actually creatingsomething with something.
Meghan (29:07):
Okay, after you just said that, I can even more clearly understand why
you had that sort of outlook on whatcollaboration was before versus now.
Yeah.
What about you, Annette?
Annette (29:25):
Mine's more broad spectrum, truthfully.
So mine is anywhere from a coffee shopconversation to a business partnership.
Um, so to me, it's.
reciprocal between two or morepeople, parties, businesses,
um, and it is literally just
(29:50):
Generating ideas betweeneach of the parties.
Um, and kind of what Tara was sayingbefore is like some, some you want to
take, some you don't want to take, someyou want to use, some you don't want to
use, uh, obviously if it is transcribed.
Something like building somethingup, then, you know, you have
(30:11):
to have a come together.
But in the collaborations thatI do, whether it's personally or
professionally, at the end of the day,mostly my stuff is still me generated.
And so my collaborations looklike having conversations, gaining
insights, gaining ideas, being ableto bounce things off of someone.
(30:34):
Um, and, and yet, Gathering thatinformation, but then going back and
being able to decide what, what of thatdo I want to carry forward and being
able to offer that for somebody else.
So mine is quite a bit more.
Broad spectrum.
Maybe that's why I don't do wellwith having business partners,
(30:56):
you know, just things like that.
Just might throw that out there.
Yeah, I, I, I honestly, I don't knowif there's anything I've ever built
from my ground up with someone else.
I never say, like, I gotta tell youright now, the term that drives me
(31:19):
effing bonkers is self made whatever.
No one is self made anything.
So to me, there's always someonealong your path that's influenced
you in some way, shape or form.
And that to me is what collaboration is.
(31:39):
So I just.
I don't believe in self-made humans.
So it sounds like
we're constantly collaborating,like on a daily basis.
There's some, whether, whether it'sacknowledged by another party or not,
we're utilizing something, um, orinfluenced by, or inspired by, and
(32:05):
therefore that is a form of collaboration
that that's it for me.
I just spent eight hoursin our RV park office.
I collaborated all day long.
You know, I am influencing whatthey're doing on their trip, they're
influencing me as a business owner,like it, that's collaboration.
(32:25):
I'm in it every day, all day long.
That's why I say it's from a coffeeshop to, to, you know, I'm sitting
tonight and me and Mike are havingconversations about business stuff,
we're collaborating on, you know,next steps, all those big things.
But I feel like that, I mean,collaboration and relationship
(32:45):
building seem very similar to me.
Meghan (32:49):
I like that.
Relationship building is definitely, um,
a huge part, I, I feel,of collaborations as well.
Because, uh,
you're, when you're workingwith other people, um, and
you're, you're not in control.
(33:09):
of how they're choosing to show up.
So there is a constant, um, you know,back and forth, uh, with collaborations.
And even, um, I will also add tothis too, like even parenting is a
form of collaboration when you'redealing with your children, you, you
know, it's like, um, so, Uh, sorry.
(33:35):
My dog.
Somebody opened my door.
My dog just snuck in here.
I thought she was going to do thefull, like, leap up on the bed
thing that she normally likes to do.
Annette (33:45):
Yeah.
Meghan (33:47):
Um, okay.
What?
Sorry, do you both feelcomplete with that answer?
Yep.
I'm good.
Tara, do you feel complete withthe collaboration question?
Tara (34:01):
I do, yes.
Meghan (34:02):
Okay, my next question is, what self development book or
course would you gift to somebody?
Like you feel it is the ultimate of booksor courses and if you could you would like
You do the Oprah thing you get one and youget one and you get one and you get one
Annette (34:31):
I mine's easy.
So do you want me to go first Tara?
100 percent Jack Canfieldthe success principles.
That is a Bible for personal development
Meghan (34:40):
Can you say that one more time just a titch bit slower?
Annette (34:44):
Okay, I said 100 percent hands down, uh, Jack
Canfield's The Success Principles.
So for me, that is just a absoluteBible for personal development.
Love the book.
Did all of his trainings,100 percent recommend it.
Meghan (35:04):
Awesome.
Tara, what about you?
Tara (35:08):
Hmm.
This is actually a really tough question.
Um, I think part of my problem is that.
Like,
(35:28):
I just think, I think you have to be inthe right space and place for anything.
And then I, I kind of think thatanything will work if you're in
the right space and place for it.
Like, there's so many good things.
Our, our time with Ashley was amazing.
(35:50):
Like, it pushed me to levelsI didn't even know I wanted to
go to and then financially Icouldn't continue that journey.
Um, but also emotionally, Ijust wasn't there anymore,
but she's magical.
Like, she's amazing at what she does.
(36:12):
Um, you know, Erin, Erin SkyKelly and Achievement Club
was like life changing for me.
Um, I think it brought me.
Out of my shell in a way thatI really desperately needed.
(36:33):
Um, it helped me find a voice thatI didn't know was as loud as it was
and gave it a platform to live on.
So that was incredible for me.
I've been in Aaron's get the hell out ofdebt program for 18 years, I think, and
(36:53):
I've just now started to work the program.
And again, it's magic becauseI'm ready because I've arrived at
that place where now is the time.
So I think there's so many good resources.
I don't know if I could pinpointone that has like, been the one
(37:13):
that I would gift to everyone.
I would just gift everyone allthe money to find their thing.
And whatever you're In the zone forit'll work because you'll make it
if I like, I really avoidthe question, not actually
Meghan (37:35):
it's okay though, because it's interesting.
I, I actually have been reading abook and I, um, I probably sound like
a complete broken record to a lot ofpeople lately, because I'm constantly
saying, well, in the book, in thisbook, oh my gosh, you know, and it's,
(37:55):
it's really played such a huge, uh,part in everything that I have been
going through over the last few months.
And it's, um, the 15 commitments of
conscious leadership.
I think I said that right.
Um, and it's, it's got like a lotof stuff in there and it really is
(38:23):
like, could relate to, I mean, it'skind of written like for business,
but every time I read it, I'm usingall sorts of different scenarios of
my own personal life and everything.
Anyways, that's the one that Iwould pick, uh, just because.
(38:44):
I think that it really, it would benefitanybody at any stage of their life.
Like, I think it should begiven out in high schools.
Like, and, and part of acurriculum of some kind.
Um, like, you only getcredits if you read this book.
(39:06):
I don't know.
It's just, it's incredible.
Um, And, uh, yeah, so that's kindof one of the ones that lately,
and, and of course, like I too,well, what I was going to say.
Is that also thought about that thereare lots of people and this is why this
is how that question came up actually isbecause I thought to myself, Oh, I just
(39:29):
want to give this book to everybody.
Like I wish I could just giftedand give it to everybody, but I
had to sit with that because then Ithought to myself well I can gift it.
Sure, I could give it toanybody and everybody.
However, would they be readyto sit down and read it like
that is kind of where so I.
(39:52):
I can understand that sort ofinitial, yes, I know the one.
Because I'm there, too.
And I also can understand, Tara, youranswer about, you know, how all these
different things, all these, like,courses and programs and masterminds,
um, that we choose to do along theway, they serve their purpose when we
(40:12):
choose to show up and be committed.
And, um, and do the work.
Annette (40:20):
I agree, Tara.
I think, like, what yousaid makes a lot of sense.
I'm more like you, though, Meg.
Like, I, I said that when Iread The Success Principles.
I'm like every school student should readthis because there are some pretty basic
things in there that if you make justthose little changes, so one of the things
(40:42):
that, have either of you read the book?
I agree.
No, okay.
Maybe I'll have to mail you them.
I go to the used bookstoreand I just buy them.
Every time they comeon the shelf, I buy it.
Like, I love the book.
Love it.
Meghan (40:55):
Um, sorry, but love this idea.
So, now I have to go to the usedbookstores and I'm gonna hoard.
All the books I want to give to
people.
Annette (41:06):
Yep, I do that.
I've got a box sitting over there.
Um, I literally do that.
I, everywhere.
And the other one that I alwaysgift people is The Wealthy Barber.
I love that book as well.
But anyway, with thesuccess principles, yeah.
I just feel like it doesn'tmatter where you are.
But in there, he says something.
That, uh, when people, Say they never havetime or they can't do things or whatever.
(41:31):
He talks about Can youfree up one hour a day?
And I know we've all heard this storybefore But when you I actually used
it when I was teaching CLC 12 Butwhen you free up one hour of day
over the course of a year You've nowgifted yourself nine weeks of time.
(41:55):
And if that doesn't change your life andmake you want to try to find that hour
a day, whether that's working on yourbusiness, working on your health, uh,
whatever it is that you need to allocate,um, one hour a day in nine weeks, you
can create or do or be or have a lot.
(42:17):
So it's just very understandable by anylevel and there's something in there
that will hit no matter where you are.
So I agree with you, Tara.
I think when I think more like whatyou're saying, like programs, 100%.
But to me, the success principlesis a book that it doesn't matter
(42:38):
where you are in your life.
Well, I should, I mean, there would besome exceptions to that, but I honestly
think pretty much anybody could pick thatup, read it and get something from it.
It's on my list.
I have to fill out aquestionnaire for a second.
(43:00):
Mine literally, I'm just looking tosee, it's usually packed around with me.
You guys, it's full of sticky notes.
The cover is just like mutilated.
I don't even think I see it.
(43:20):
There it is.
It's all war.
My, my wording's all war.
Everything is sticky notes.
It's such a good book.
It literally is like a bible.
Meghan (43:33):
Amazing.
Never fails.
Do not disturb mom.
She's going in her room.
I'm pretty sure they have poked theirheads in here half a dozen times.
Um,
(43:54):
okay.
Those, those were my five questions.
Those were my five main questions.
So,
and again, close the door, please.
Um,
five main questions.
(44:15):
So the questions I'm just goingto go back and if you guys have
anything that you want to add.
So question number one was a top tier tipyou give to someone who is experiencing
resistance to living their dream life.
Does anyone have anythingto add to that one?
(44:38):
What motivates you?
This kind of stuff right here.
This is what motivates me.
Annette (44:47):
I'm with you.
Like masterminds, anything,you know, when you're.
Yeah,
Meghan (44:55):
collaborations.
Exactly.
Right.
So even going back to like, mytip, um, would be getting community
around you to support and help youand whether that is, um, you know,
in person, if you have Yes, exactly.
Different business groups, um, whateverthat looks like, or yeah, doing a huge
(45:21):
leap and going out and finding, um,a conference or a summit or something
that is in line with what your, whatyour dream life would look like.
Um, so yeah, and, and this kind ofstuff, this motivates me for sure.
Um, yeah.
And defining success to me being here,showing up with you ladies right now.
(45:47):
For me, this is all part of that.
It's all part of that for me.
Um, and collaboration as Annette,you just also mentioned, this is,
this, this is collaboration andI love collaborating with people.
I love, of course, having thosethings that I build and design and
create and all that kind of stuff.
(46:08):
And, and have more control over it.
However, I also love collaborating withpeople and, uh, self development book.
Well, or course, um.
The book, The 15 Commitments, it'ssomething that I started reading because
(46:31):
of a course that I decided to sign myselfup for, and the emphasis in this program
is not just on business, it's on selfdevelopment and it's like this It's
like a hybrid program that I've nevereven read of or heard of or anything.
(46:53):
So this type of program,um, has been incredible.
And it's part of the reason why Iwas able to invite you ladies here
today for this panel of questions.
And, uh, do you have anyclosing things to say?
(47:16):
I
Tara (47:16):
think you, I think you've covered.
Everything they were really great.
Thought provoking anddiscussion inducing questions.
Um,
yeah, and probably 6 months fromnow, if we revisit them, my,
my answers will likely change.
(47:40):
For every stage of life,there's a new perspective and.
Mindset and new ways of thinking.
So yeah, I think it was justreally great to be on here
and visiting with you ladies.
Cause it just feels like we're visiting,but these are the kinds of conversations
(48:01):
that, yeah, I don't know if they motivateme, but they light me up and they make
me happy and they fill my cup and,um, yeah, I'm excited to have them.
Meghan (48:13):
Love that.
Annette (48:14):
Yeah.
I was going to say the same thing.
It's definitely, uh.
thought provoking for sure.
So, you know, even just thinkingabout the questions that
kind of lit that fire, right?
And it's like, hmm, some journalingaround something like that, right?
Just to kind of go like, what is there?
(48:35):
You start that talking it out,but, you know, doing the reflection
at the end of the day and kindof just think about, okay, what
was it that kind of lit that up?
Or, you know, how to dig a little deeper.
And I, I agree with you, Tara.
Like, these questions six months ago, ourlenses would have looked very different.
(48:57):
Um, and, and six months fromnow, or a year from now, they're
going to look different again.
It's seasons of life.
But I think it's also how much workwe're doing on ourselves creates
a completely different response.
So I, I think a completely different way.
To manage yourself in circumstance.
Meghan (49:20):
So, meeting here in six months from now?
That's great.
Annette (49:26):
Sounds good
Meghan (49:26):
to me.
I'll have different questions.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
It's so good to see you guys.
Yes, well, thank you both for takingthe time out of your schedules
to do this and meet with me.
(49:48):
Um, I was also thinking it wouldbe super cool To meet with you each
individually and do like my moretraditional podcast questions and have
that too if you guys are open for it.
(50:08):
And I know you've filled out my formand you're probably just waiting for
me to send you my calendar for that.
Annette (50:16):
Listen, it's all, all in the right time.
That's how I run my life.
Meghan (50:22):
For sure.
And that's exactly what I've learned somuch over this last little while as well.
It's like, um, yeah, totally.
You can't rush.
You can't rush living, especiallyif you are doing the work because
you can't rush the work either.
(50:44):
Um, and that's what I'm learning.
And I'm learning to live, like, a lot morepresently and, um, Yeah, saying, saying
no to things, but really saying yes tothings that, um, push me in a way that I
wouldn't have otherwise agreed to beforein the past six months ago, you know,
Annette (51:10):
right.
I have my gift took me quite a longtime ago something and I think that this
is very fitting for this conversation.
And that is enjoy the journeythat you're on and not just
the destination that you reach.
Thanks so much.
And that is significant.
That's made a huge change andthat's at present moment living.
Meghan (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Well, and I had a converse, well, itgoes back to this idea that, um, I had a
few years ago now, and it was just moreabout, there's no real destination for
me, it's more of like just following mytrue North, like I drew a picture of a
(51:54):
compass and I just was thinking about it.
And I just thought, yeah, okay, well,as long as I'm just always following
whatever my true north feels liketo me internally and in alignment,
then that That's where I'm going.
That's the path.
There's no real end destination,just like there is no, uh, end, like
(52:18):
tangible thing to define success.
So that's, that's kind of whatmade me think about what, how I
look at success now, because Idon't see like an end to anything.
It just is how we feel internally, thealignment and all that kind of stuff.
Annette (52:41):
Love it.
Well, thanks again.
So yeah, thank you again so much.
And then I'll be in touch withscheduling a separate solo podcast,
but I think it'd be kind of fun to havesomething with both of you and then
do like follow ups, um, individually.
I think that'd be kind of cool.
So if you're game.
(53:05):
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
Ready.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Meghan (53:29):
Thank you for joining this week's episode of Anchor Your Dreams.
I hope you enjoyed today'sconversation as much as I did.
A big thank you to our incredible guestsfor sharing their wisdom and insights.
If you resonated with today's episodeand want to explore more about
turning your dreams into reality,Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
We have a lineup of amazing guestsand valuable content coming your way.
(53:53):
Don't forget to connectwith us on social media.
You can find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Share your thoughts, insights,and your own journey using the
hashtag anchor, your dreams.
Head over to our websiteat meganmcquillen.
com in the podcast section, where you'llfind the show notes, resources, and
information about upcoming episodes.
(54:14):
Before we wrap up, I want to express mygratitude to each and every one of you.
Your support means the worldto me, and I'm thrilled to
be on this journey with you.
Remember, anchored dreams becomegoals, anchored goals become results.
Until next time, dreambig and stay anchored.
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