From Criticism to Growth | Anchor Your Dreams

NAVIGATING FEEDBACK: UNLOCKING GROWTH AND CURIOSITY

In this solo episode of Anchor Your Dreams, Meghan McQuillan explores the concept of feedback and its impact on personal and professional growth. The discussion covers her evolving perspective on feedback; the challenges faced while organizing a retreat, and strategies to embrace feedback as a neutral tool for improvement. Listeners are encouraged to create something from their heart and seek feedback, highlighting the importance of processing and appreciating feedback to overcome obstacles and stay motivated on their journey towards their dreams.

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Useful references and links:

• Feedback Infographic
• Understanding Candor

Continue the conversation and connect with me on social media:

@meghan.mcquillan

www.meghanmcquillan.com

 

Episode Transcript

Meghan (00:05):
If you are
someone who has a dream, but feelstuck, if you are facing obstacles that
seem overwhelming, or if you just needa dose of motivation to keep pushing
forward, then you are in the right place.
So buckle up dreamers, Anchoryour Dreams is not just a podcast.

(00:26):
It's a community, a community of dreamers,supporting dreamers, women, supporting
women, subscribe, follow along, and let'snavigate the seas of ambition together.
Thank you for joiningme on this adventure.
Get ready to be inspired,motivated, and empowered.
The journey begins now.

(00:49):
It is a first for me, a soloepisode, and I am going to be
talking today all about feedback.
My initial thought when I decidedto do the podcast was to have a
guest and then do a solo one, thenhave a guest and then do a solo one.

(01:10):
I certainly have no end to theideas of what I've wanted to
talk about on a solo podcast.
Today I wanted to talk about feedback.
I'll be talking about my outlookon feedback, how it changed as well
as where I struggled, and I shouldactually reframe that to be where
I struggle, and what has worked forme in the rewiring and reframing.

(01:35):
For years, I thought of feedbackand criticism as interchangeable.
They are both coming from aplace of change, not acceptance.
Therefore, I felt that they came from anegative place, and intentions of giving
feedback or criticism was also negative.
Just because I see feedback differentlynow, doesn't mean some feelings don't

(01:56):
pop up when I am hearing that my ideas,my product, My creation, anything
that comes from my heart, are not 100percent accepted in the views of others.
I also find myself anticipatingwhat feedback may be.
This seems to be a wayfor me to protect my ego.
When I think about this, I thinkabout how a lot of people will

(02:20):
point out a flaw of themselvesbefore it is pointed out by others.
Often, an example is when somebody hasa pimple on their face, they'll make
some kind of joke about it right awaybefore anyone else can say anything.
Here's the thing.
I no longer dwell.

(02:41):
I no longer hurt, go in and feel asthough my heart has been ripped out.
Why feedback has changed.
To the process of trying to getthe Anchor Your Dreams retreat
off the ground last fall.
Yes, it has.
I was creating a retreat, it was a deepdive into putting this all together.

(03:05):
So, I was in communication with a lotof people, from potential attendees,
to the venue hosts, to sponsors, andto catering, workshop facilitators.
The only way I could get throughthe no's from these collaborators,
partners, sponsors, Or the maybes wasto remind myself that it was feedback.

(03:31):
It was an answer.
It was data while I was able toprepare for everything and have a date
and a plan all in under two months.
No one bought a ticket.
I had failed.
I prepped my audience.
I dripped and I dropped,I polled and I prayed.

(03:51):
And what I mean by polled wasI thought that I had done the
research with my audience.
I thought that I had a chance.
Enough pulls on Instagram stories, uh,enough of this or that to gain some
understanding of what people wantedand what people were looking for.

(04:12):
I worked really hard to bring thisbeautiful vision and dream to reality.
Hosting a retreat has been something thatI've been dreaming of for many years.
It goes on my vision board each year.
So the data pointed toit being the wrong time.
The feedback was that I needed to domore relationship building in community.

(04:33):
As that is important to me,and at the time, the community
around me wasn't ready to commit.
The feedback gave me my answer,and then more questions.
Another form of feedback is thedirectly given format, as in
someone telling you their opinion.
This is often, as I stated for myself,interchangeable with criticism.

(04:56):
This was a game changer for me.
The simple idea thatall feedback is neutral.
Is there a best practice to give feedback?
Yes, of course.
Just like any communication, tone,body language, and words matter.
The other point to bring upis, are you receiving it and

(05:16):
gave consent to the feedback?
Perhaps your mother in law isover and she wants to let you know
that your casserole is overcooked.
You could entertain the feedback bylistening and furthering the conversation,
or you could let her know that youwere not feeling neutral to hear any
feedback, and end the communication.

(05:41):
If you choose to entertain, youare now opening up to candor.
If she is your mother in law,you likely have a rapport and
built a style of candor with her.
For example, mother in law says,my experience of this casserole
is that it is overcooked.

(06:01):
This is her inarguable truth, whichis given as a form of feedback.
It sounds pretty neutral.
Here, she isn't blaming or trying to bea victim, nor being a villain, simply
stating that her palate and tastebuds are experiencing overcooked food.
No, she said, sorry, on the otherhand, if she said, this casserole

(06:27):
is overcooked, you left it too long.
It lends closer to an arguable truth anddelivery is not seemingly as neutral.
So back to my points.
My rewiring towards feedback happenedwhen I sat with the data from the
process and journey leading up tothe postponement of the retreat.

(06:47):
Shortly after, I decidedto apply for a grant.
I thought to myself, what?
Who?
Me?
How will I handle the no or the microscopeinto my dreams, thoughts, and heart?
I knew if I didn't try and use theprocess and feedback for my benefit, I'd
be in a constant lose lose with myself.

(07:10):
I had a willingness to change.
I had a willingness to keep mydreams anchored and take action
to move into being better.
You too can train your brain.
Create something, whether it is acraft, writing, baked goods, create
something, create it from your heart.

(07:31):
Then pick a few people to offeryou feedback on your creation.
Remember that these are neutral thoughts.
You can even ask them to give yourfeedback in a specific format.
Such as, quote, my thoughts are, then theywill explain their thoughts, end quote.

(07:54):
Once you receive your feedback, Iwould like you to not say anything
in return, other than thank you.
It's really important to just, Appreciatethat they took some time because
often people have a hard time givingfeedback just as much as some people
have a hard time receiving feedback.

(08:15):
So thank them for takingthe time to do that.
The next step is to find afew minutes and write down
everything that comes up for you.
What are you feeling?
If you are feeling sad or hurt,why are you feeling that way?
This experience can be repeatedin multiple ways, multiple times.
The more often you accept feedback andreview the data to process it and feel

(08:38):
through it, the faster you will seethat feedback is an important tool for,
just like a podcast host asks for reviews,this is feedback from the audience.
I'd love your help withfeedback on my podcast.
I'm asking for you to share yours with me.
So whichever capacity you have, whetherthat's a DM, an email or a complete

(09:02):
review and rating on the podcastlisting platform you are on right
now, I would greatly appreciate that.
Thank you so much for joiningme on this solo episode.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
Thank you for joining this week's episode of Anchor Your Dreams.
I hope you enjoyed today'sconversation as much as I did.
A big thank you to our incredible guestsfor sharing their wisdom and insights.
If you resonated with today's episodeand want to explore more about
turning your dreams into reality,Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
We have a lineup of amazing guestsand valuable content coming your way.

(09:57):
Don't forget to connectwith us on social media.
You can find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Share your thoughts, insights,and your own journey using the
hashtag anchor, your dreams.
Head over to our websiteat meganmcquillen.
com in the podcast section, where you'llfind the show notes, resources, and
information about upcoming episodes.

(10:18):
Before we wrap up, I want to express mygratitude to each and every one of you.
Your support means the worldto me, and I'm thrilled to
be on this journey with you.
Remember, anchored dreams becomegoals, anchored goals become results.
Until next time, dreambig and stay anchored.