October 31, 2024 • 57 mins
EMBRACING SOMATIC HEALING AND OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Join us in celebrating her successes, exploring the challenges faced, and gaining inspiration for your own journey. Remember, the path to success is a collaborative one, and you are not alone.
Main Topics:
- Sara’s Journey: Guidance Counsellor to Somatic Coach
- Managing Capacity and Self-Care
- Witch History and Ancestral Patterns
- Imposter Syndrome
- Nervous System Regulation
In this episode of the Anchor Your Dreams podcast, Meghan McQuillan interviews Sara from Somasynthesis Studios. Sara shares her journey from being a high school guidance counselor to becoming a peak performance coach and somatic practitioner. They discuss the importance of listening to the body's signals, overcoming imposter syndrome, the value of rest and patience, and how to harness one's full potential. The conversation also touches on the interconnectedness of mind and body and the impact of ancestral and cultural patterns on our behavior and stress responses.
Please Leave a Review || We would love to hear your takeaways and “aha” moments from today’s episode. Please leave a star rating and a written review <3
Follow Our Guest:
Useful references and links:
Continue the conversation and connect with us on social media:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meghan (00:05):
If you are
someone who has a dream, but feelstuck, if you are facing obstacles that
seem overwhelming, or if you just needa dose of motivation to keep pushing
forward, then you are in the right place.
So buckle up dreamers, Anchoryour Dreams is not just a podcast.
(00:26):
It's a community, a community of dreamers,supporting dreamers, women, supporting
women, subscribe, follow along, and let'snavigate the seas of ambition together.
Thank you for joiningme on this adventure.
Get ready to be inspired,motivated, and empowered.
The journey begins now.
(00:49):
Today I am here with Sarah and sheis with Somass Synthesis Studios Inc.
Yeah.
Oh, welcome.
Thank you so much, Sarah, for beingon the anchor your dreams podcast.
I'd love to really get into a littlebit about your journey and, and
how you got to where you are today.
And then we can get into otherlots of great topics too.
Sara (01:13):
Excellent, Megan.
Thanks so much for having me.
Really happy to be here with you today.
So I was a guidancecounselor in a high school.
That's sort of where, where things began.
I actually got pregnant my senioryear in college on birth control.
So surprise.
So I, I immediatelyjumped into motherhood.
Um, and Once, sort of, I had the baby, Iwent back to school to get my master's,
(01:36):
and, and, I'd always been someone friendscame to for advice, so I thought, sure,
guidance counseling, awesome, I'd be goodat this, I'm very good at it, I entered
the school and was totally overloaded.
Um, in that role, you are navigatingteachers, you're navigating
administration, you're navigatingparents, and the kiddos, and the
(01:57):
dynamics between all the things, and.
No one taught me aboutpolitics in schools.
So when I was there, I was, you know,I've always been a perfectionist and
a high achiever and an overworker,and so was putting in long hours.
And my father, who was a sports,uh, Performance consultant could see
(02:20):
how miserable I was and said, youknow, why don't you come in and train
with me and you could eventuallyleave and start your own practice.
So I, while I was at the highschool, started to train with
my father and his methodology.
And also I went through thesomatic experiencing training, um,
which is a trauma modality thatworks with our nervous system.
(02:42):
Soma, somatic means body.
So really looking at sort of how weare governed by our survival patterns
and how that then affects how wefeel and think and be in our lives.
And when I did that training, it justreally woke me up to how shut down I was.
(03:04):
And shutdown can be two things.
Shutdown can be I'm in bed, Ican't get out of bed, I can't move.
And then for those of you who identifyas type A perfectionist overachievers,
shutdown is I am stuck on a hamsterwheel in an autopilot and doing and
being all the things all of the timeuntil one's body screams so loud that
(03:28):
it, um, You know, starts to affecthow we're showing up and that really
was what was happening for me as Istarted to reconnect with my body.
I realized, wow, I'm overriding.
I'm ignoring a lot of pain, a lotof discomfort and not realizing it.
And so, um, I was, it was five yearsinto being a guidance counselor.
(03:50):
I ended up quitting my job one summer.
And, um, decided to take what I calledmedical leave to try to address some
of what was showing up because all ofa sudden I was having all of these like
weird issues in lots of different ways inmy body because when we don't listen then
the body gets our attention in other ways.
Yeah.
(04:11):
It sure
Meghan (04:12):
does, doesn't it?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Sara (04:15):
And so at that point when I, when I quit, I just never looked back.
I created both my websites.
I work on the peak performancecoach, very similar to my father.
So I work a lot with athletes who haveblocks and fears and performers and
entrepreneurs who are navigating impostersyndrome and confidence issues and to,
you know, access and harness potential.
(04:36):
And then I also, um, am a somatic coachand have a whole somatic practice,
meaning I work with the body, I work withenergy, work with the nervous system.
So, oh, my, my overachievingtype Ayers, I am your gal.
Uh, lots of people find me after they'vedone decades of therapy and they know
what they want to shift and change.
(04:56):
But their bodies aren'tquite lining up with that.
And so that's where mywork really comes in.
We're looking sort ofunderneath all of the things.
And this is beyond mindset.
If your body is feeling or sensingdanger in any way, it doesn't matter
what kind of mindset you have.
Your body is going towin every, every time.
(05:17):
Wow.
Meghan (05:18):
Thank you, like, yes, you just validated so much of so many parts
of, of, um, not just me, but likemy youngest daughter was diagnosed
with autism and something elsecalled pathological demand avoidance.
(05:38):
And basically it's where her nervoussystem is in flight or fight.
24 seven.
So I see a lot of things a lotof times with nervous system.
But I'm only just really, reallybeginning to understand how to switch
(06:01):
like upregulate or downregulate.
I feel like we could, we could talkabout so many different things.
Um, but to go, sorry to go back.
Um, so your journey really tookyou in a really sort of wide
direction of different things.
Um, so what was the pivotal momentfor you that set you on the journey
(06:29):
from, like, you transitionedout of your guidance counseling,
you're doing a couple other things.
But one thing that really kind ofcame out at me was that you, you had
said that you, you asked yourself,what if I spent all this time and
attention on something that was justfor me, there is no way I could fail.
(06:53):
That really stood out for me becausefailure is such, um, like even
that word, when we say it, it hassuch a negative connotation to it.
Absolutely.
Sara (07:04):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And we get really hooked in, especiallyfor those of us who identify as being
more of like a perfectionist or apeople pleaser, we get really, really
hooked then because failure meansthat I'm not showing up in the way
I think I quote unquote should be.
In this and that causes a lot ofdistress and, you know, it's a quote
(07:26):
that my dad says all the time is,you know, it's for athletes, but I
just think it's applicable across theboard, which is winners fail the best
winners learn how to fail and not care.
You're, like, when you get reallyneutral about your failures, when
you can, like, not bring in thejudgment that we can do, right?
Like, spiraling in that negative vortexof doom and gloom where, like, we suck
(07:50):
and we should just quit or pivot ordo something different or give up.
Um, those voices aren't true.
We're not taught our thoughts aren't true.
And so we tend to believe thestories we're creating in our
heads, which creates sensationsin the body that don't feel good.
It creates states of beingand moods, and then we feel a
(08:13):
certain way about the things.
And then, so we're telling ourselvesthe story, and then we have the
feelings about the story, and thenall of that keeps us super stuck.
And so when we can learn how to getreally neutral about failure and make
it no big deal, it really can propel usreally quite rapidly towards the direction
(08:36):
of what our goals and dreams are.
Meghan (08:40):
So true.
So true.
Um, going back to sort of like thethoughts versus the sensations and
everything, um, that for me has beensomething that's come up, in the
last year, I kind of like had thissort of aha moment about like, yeah,
(09:02):
and then I'm actually then turningaround and not trusting a lot of
what's happening within me and havelost a sense of knowing what I need.
Yes.
Yes.
And then grasping at all these otherdifferent things, which can come and
look at, look, look like, you know,controlling of things that I really
(09:25):
have zero control over, which then just,And then it just adds to it all and
then brings me back into that vortex.
You just spoke of, which I literally like,I, I have lots of, um, experience in that
vortex, but, um, in the last year, I'vedefinitely had this huge shift, like.
(09:47):
I, I, I often sit and I wonder is itall the work that I've done previous
that is just starting to show up?
Is it just age and wisdom?
Is it some other I don't know, like,there's this energy All of the above!
All of the above!
Yeah!
And fair enough, you know, but that'salso the, the why, and the trying to
(10:08):
pinpoint what it is, is obviously partand parcel of needing to do something.
To know everything that's happening,
Sara (10:17):
but I also am learning to trust.
Yes, and the more we learn, and this iswhat started to happen when I started
to explore the body stuff, the morewe dive into trying to understand,
the more we realize we really can't.
And because our systems are holdingin ancestry, they're holding patterns
of our parents and their parents andwe're holding so much there's so much,
(10:42):
you know, so many layers that existwithin us that are driving some of our
core patterns of behavior that actuallydon't have anything to do with us.
And so, and it was just fascinating andsome pieces are ours and some pieces.
These pieces aren't ours and we candrive ourselves batty because I've
been there trying to sort out and siftout what exactly is this piece from.
(11:05):
And so what I love about the somaticwork is we're, I mean, we definitely have
to work with the mind, but we're reallykind of like giving the mind a rest.
and tuning into sensation andexactly like what you're sharing.
So many of us, because we're doingall the things, forget how to
even connect to what we actuallywant or need or like or desire.
(11:27):
And that's definitely my journey.
I've been last eight years trying tolike, Oh, what do I actually want to be
doing the same with my business as it'staken all these different layers and
evolutions of I'm good at a lot of stuff,but what do I actually want to be doing?
What am I actually lit upby and move from that place?
And, you know, it takes sometime to reconnect to that.
(11:51):
And the body is the gateway into reallyrealigning to what's important to
us, to knowing what's true for us, tobeing able to access our intuition.
All of that, from my, from mylens in, stems from working with
and connecting with our body.
Meghan (12:10):
Which makes complete sense to me, where I'm at now.
Yeah.
Like, I can, I can, yeah.
And, um, even, even just beingable to sit for a minute.
And, and acknowledge like what I'msitting on something as simple as that,
(12:33):
it would have never occurred to me, um,until I started, uh, doing different sort
of deep work and reading more about thenervous system and learning about it.
And, um, And shifting, youknow, like I used to hear
people say a lot of grounding.
Well, to me at that time,it's like, okay, that's great.
(12:56):
How do you do that?
What is that?
What are you talking about?
You know, and even one of my friendswas saying that she used to every
day, go outside and bare feet.
Yeah.
And, and that was intentional.
I didn't realize I've been doing thatdaily for so long, but it wasn't, I'm
(13:18):
going to go ground myself right now.
It's just a natural thing that I did.
But now I'm able to see the positivepattern that it's had on me.
And now I do it more intentionally.
Sara (13:31):
That's beautiful.
And it is so amazing, right?
Like what you're describing is thisinnate wisdom that our bodies have.
That even though intellectually youdidn't understand that stepping on the
earth with bare feet Feet was goingto deeply, like, realign you to start
to have you merge with the healthyenergy of the earth that's going
to bring in calmness and grounding.
(13:51):
Your body just did it, right?
And there are ways that, you know,we've really ignored for so long
that we've lost touch and connectionto, like, what are those healthy
cycles and that body intelligence.
that lives within.
And so that, like you're saying, takingthese spaces becomes key, especially
for anyone listening who's sort of like,you know, running your own business or
(14:11):
you're a working mom and you, you know,you're doing all the things like, you
know, we have to prioritize creatingspace so that we can sense ourselves,
so that we can take a minute, sothat we can feel like literally just.
Feel our butts in our seats, like, um,which again, as you were saying, like, and
we both laughed is so silly and simple.
And yet it's what organizes andorients our organism to actually
(14:36):
recognize that you're just abody in a room at that moment.
And there's no tiger coming to eat you.
Um, you know, which is, you know,You know, when we live in a lot of
activation energy, a lot of stress,anxiety, or even if you don't
identify as being stressed out, butyou're busy and you are just doing a
lot, that's still churning the samechemicals as if you were stressed out.
(14:56):
That's cortisol, that's adrenaline,and we're, you know, those chemicals
are super important for our survivalinstincts, but they're not designed
to be turned on all the time.
And that's where so many ofus is, you know, are sick and,
you know, or we're in pain.
Um, you know, or we're, you know, getin pain after the day or like get sick
(15:18):
after we run a workshop or do a big launchor running, you know, a big event, um,
because we're ignoring, we're ignoringwhat the body is trying to say to us.
Meghan (15:30):
Well, and going back to that word, Which I wrote down is overriding.
Um, cause I find like, even for myself,I, I used to do a lot of markets and
there's a lot of peopling involved andwith all the chaos, Um, and everything
(15:52):
that happens at home, then going outand having a different type of chaos,
something I wanted and invited intomy life, I would need days after
these events to like, come out of it.
I didn't realize that before.
I thought there wassomething wrong with me.
(16:12):
And I thought, well, again, this isa piece of, well, I'm, I'm a failure
and how can I be an entrepreneur ifI can't handle doing this, this, and
this, but really what it came downto is like, no, you need to start
listening, stop overriding things.
Stop overriding the rest.
(16:32):
And build it into your schedule.
Sara (16:36):
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
And what you're reallytalking about is capacity.
Right?
Like, whether, you know, becauselots of us are capable, you know, we
all could, you know, we can suck itup and plow forward and do it all.
We're all, we do that a lot.
Um, but like, what actually isour capacity and learning our
edges and then learning whatwe need to expand our capacity.
(16:58):
And everybody.
And everybody.
And everybody.
Like literally bodyneeds different things.
And so for some of us, like, youknow, really resonate with what
you're saying around the markets.
For me, it was travel.
I go away.
Fly to California, cross the country,teach a weekend program, come back and get
mad at myself on Monday when I was tired.
And it's like, well girl, like, you flewacross the country, you taught for like 14
(17:22):
hours, like, two days, you know, in a row.
And then you're on no sleep, tooka red eye back, and you're mad at
yourself that you're, you're tired.
Like, we do that, and soit's really learning, like,
your unique cycle and system.
And in a cycle, we have expansion,and then we have contraction.
And, like, not fearing thecontraction places, not making them
(17:45):
wrong or bad or equal failure, butembracing them and building them in.
Like, so now when I travel, I don't bookanything for, you know, at least one day.
I try to do two, but at least oneday after, right, because I know I
need that time to, you know, helpmyself feel more expanded and come
(18:07):
back into alignment with myself.
And it's the same thing, like, I'lldo, I do a holistic fair once a year,
and I speak at it, and it's two days,and it's a lot of peopling, it's
a lot of conversations, I love it,it's awesome, and it's exhausting.
And so, figuring out in those scenarios,like, old me would have been like, you
know, no water, not bring any food,just, Be in the excitement and talk to
(18:31):
everybody and then I get home and I'vegot a headache and I like haven't eaten
anything and I got the shakes and thenI'd get sick right after and so, you
know, learning to make sure like I alwaysbring my husband now he's always, you
know, making sure my water is filled,you know, my food is like coming to me.
So I'm eating like that.
I'm getting in a tub that nightand not just saying I'm too tired.
(18:53):
That I'm building things in forme that help sustain my system.
And if I'm ignoring my body or Idon't even know what my body needs,
I'm not going to do those things.
And then I'm going to crash even more.
And so it's again, this connection ofcoming back to really paying attention and
listening and re and it's a lot for a lotof us, it's reconnecting to our bodies.
Meghan (19:18):
Yes.
Well, and that's just it.
And then as you're listening and you'reconnecting and you're trusting your
body and your intuition and what itneeds, and you actually acknowledge and
serve that, then you are, you're reallystarting to also allow for endurance
(19:38):
to be built up because that's for me.
That word endurance and what one thingthat I kind of am coming to is like,
okay, I'm acknowledging all this stuff.
I'm acknowledging that I need the rest.
That's great.
And it sounds like I can relate tothe no water, the no drinking, the no
eating, all these different things.
(20:03):
You start like there's a lack oftrust essentially within the organism
doing all those things and havinglike I did a an event not that long
ago and I did have a friend help meat this event and she's like, Okay,
Megan, you need to stop right now.
I'm getting you water.
And I was like, Oh, right.
(20:25):
That probably would bea good thing right now.
And, um, otherwise I wouldhave powered through.
Not because I wasn't, like, thirsty, butpart of it's because I was having fun.
And adrenaline in those moments shows up.
Even though it's not a sabertoothed tiger, adrenaline still can
help you get through things, too.
Sara (20:45):
Absolutely.
And I think, too, a lot of usunderestimate, you know, we think, oh,
if we're in excitement or joy or in this,you know, fun place, like, that's fine.
It's again, if I'm in excitement, it'sthe same activation as if I'm in fear,
from a chemical standpoint in the body.
And so we have to make sure thatwe're like really deeply caring for
ourselves in those moments so thatwe have the endurance so that we
(21:07):
have the capacity so that we're not.
crashing, and also so that we'relike, accessing our best self.
If I'm not eating, and I'm notdrinking, and I'm trying to have
coherent conversations with people,or try to like, connect in with
someone, I'm not going to be as clearheaded as um, if I'm like, actually
(21:27):
nourishing and taking care of my body.
Meghan (21:31):
And for sure, yeah, and also just as you were saying that too, it
brought me to like, To realize, andthis is now looking back at the event.
If I had have just even like twoseconds, just stopped taking a sip.
It also would have brought meback to awareness to other things
that were happening around me.
(21:52):
I was, I tunnel vision, right.
That's sort of like hyper focusedtunnel vision will creep in.
And, um, yeah, so yeah, building, um,building on the capacity and everything.
That's.
I think something to look at andunderstanding that it is a work
(22:14):
in progress and it does takework, but it's It's achievable.
Sara (22:19):
Yeah, and I think for, you know, those again who, who run a
little type A, you know, it's notlike I'm going to check it off the
list and now it's all fine, right?
Like it's, it's, um, it's a practice.
And I tell my somatic coaching clientsthis all the time because a lot of them
come and say, okay, like, so when weget to week four, I'm gonna and I'm
like, no, this is not how this works.
(22:40):
It's not linear.
It's not a linear journey becausestressors come up triggers come up
think we get pulled in these differentdirections or, you know, if you're, you
know, a woman and have a cycle we're oncycles and you know and feel different
ways during our cycles and that impacts.
Our focus and concentration.
And so as you're, you're workingwith this, there's a lot of
(23:01):
patience that we want to invitein for our growing awareness and
for practicing these new skills.
If you've been operating this way forthe majority of your life, like, you
know, I have three decades under mebefore I started the somatic work, right?
Like that's 30 years of operatingone way, right, is going to take
a hot minute here to then help mybody shift into a different state.
(23:26):
It's like a disservice to get madat ourselves, you know, that stuff's
not working or it's not going quickenough when, hey, we've been doing
these same patterns for a long time.
Like, let's create some space and somepatience and kindness to ourselves while
we're in a renegotiation in our bodies.
(23:46):
Um, yeah,
Meghan (23:48):
I love that.
You just said renegotiation.
Um, I have been, I read a book andit really, it changed a lot, but one
of the things was about agreements.
And this is something that shiftedwith myself as well, because we make
agreements with ourselves, right?
Those little mini agreements, like I'mgoing to get up five minutes earlier.
(24:11):
I'm going to do X, Y, and Z.
And I was holding on to the fact thatI had all these broken agreements.
And instead of understanding that I couldrenegotiate with self and those agreements
(24:32):
that, that for me, like having thatconversation with myself really repaired.
all of those broken agreementsand allowed me to move forward.
And then it's like, now it'sonly making those agreements,
um, with like that whole body.
Yes.
Sort of standpoint.
Um, one of the other things that you'vesaid too, which I really, um, want
(24:56):
to touch on is inviting in patients.
Yeah.
Um, Because I feel like, likewe are so go, go, go, go, go.
And when we're up in that state ofour nervous system, we do tend to
lack patience for things that creepin and change, change the course
(25:16):
of something that we're doing.
So could you talk a little bit moreeven, um, on the nervous system,
part of it and patients and like.
regulation.
Sara (25:26):
Yeah, and I, you know, for those of us who are in that go go going and
are resonating with what we're talkingabout here, you know, our bodies are
wise and your system needed to be inthat place for the years that it did.
We adopt these strategies evenwhen they're very disproportional.
functional in our lives because forsome reason our body thinks that's
(25:46):
what's going to help us be safe.
And it can be our fam, itcan stem from our families.
Um, it could also stem,stem from like our ancestry.
So going back to likelooking at you as a people.
So like all of my ancestralpeople come from, um, Lithuanian.
They're all, um, Ashkenazi Jews.
And so go, go, going, inmy culture was survival.
(26:08):
You were always on the move, like,otherwise you would be killed,
otherwise you would be captured.
You were always kind of hiding.
There's a lot of, like, fear of beingseen, I've had to get over, right?
Like, that stems more, um,like, that goes way, way back.
And, yeah, uh, we'rehaving a moment over here.
Sorry, sorry, but.
(26:29):
Megan's having a moment.
Well, it did, because justhow you just expressed that.
Whoa.
Sorry.
Yeah, what's landingfor you in this moment?
What is coming?
Just the go go go for fear of capture.
Meghan (26:46):
Yeah.
Yes.
Like, I'm not, like, I, all Iknow is my, my, my grandma came
from, um, her ancestry is German.
Yep.
And not that there was a lot of storiesabout capture necessarily from me growing
up, but one of the things that, um, I'vealways done with my dad is look at our
(27:11):
history, even our, um, from, from Ireland.
But one of the things that stood outyears ago was we were looking at a census.
So that's like where you, someone knockson your door and writes down who's in
your household and all these things.
Well, her maiden name was, um, Holstand her, a family member changed it.
(27:40):
So that got the conversation about notwanting to be seen from, so changing
like, um, I think it was instead ofHolst, it was, it could have been
even just as simple as like a, a Atransversal of letters, but I also
know that based on conversationsthat that was part of it, right?
(28:02):
This fear of being seen and showingup in life as to who you are and
something as simple as changing a name.
Um, But yeah, so that's, that's justwhat kind of came up with and I just,
it was just the way you said it.
Sara (28:18):
It just pinged.
Yeah.
And, and also if you identify asfemale and you're listening, right?
Like, you know, we are holdingall of the witch history, right?
And particularly if, you know, you'rerunning your own business and you're,
you know, Dealing with a lot of fear thatcomes up about being seen or about being
in your, like, authentic expression.
(28:39):
Like, there's a lot that wecontend with that kind of goes
back to, you know, it wasn't safeto be, you know, a medicine woman.
It wasn't safe to sort of own yourpsychic gifts at a particular point.
It was for a while, and then patriarchyhappened, and then it became a problem.
But all of that lives within us.
And so going back to sort of thequestion that you asked around, okay,
(29:01):
like, So, how do I give myself patience?
It's, we have to start to learnto train our bodies to feel
okay with the slowing down.
That it's safe to slow down.
And that's a mantrathat I work with a lot.
It's safe to slow down.
Um, it's safe to be seen is another one,but and then learning, you know, it's
(29:24):
sort of helping build safety in the systemand safety is relative like I'm very
aware that, you know, I'm an upper middleclass woman financially and I'm white.
Okay, so that's very different forsafety for me is very different
than someone who looks like me.
And so it's sort of like thespectrum of safety, right?
But building that in ourselves, andthen also at the same time, getting
(29:46):
comfortable being uncomfortable.
Getting comfortable with, okay, if Itake a pause, and everything in me is
wanting me to wash the sink of dishes!
Right?
But I'm at my pause momentbecause I've built in rest, but
I keep seeing the dishes, right?
That's a choice point.
Like, am I going to go do the dishes oram I also, like, actually going to help
(30:07):
my body start to be okay in this and beable to acknowledge and meet that part
of me that really wants to do the dishesand then maybe go outside and, you know,
And feel my feet on the grass and ground.
And then maybe I do the dishes, right?
And so it's like learning to playwith those edges of discomfort.
And that's how we build in the patience.
(30:28):
Because it's, True, it's very hard to justlike, okay, now I'm just gonna be patient
with myself, or now I'm just gonna takeall these great pauses, and, you know, I
listened to this podcast on nervous systemhealing, and now I'm gonna be great.
It's gonna, it's gonna take some timeto, like, keep helping to orient your
body and your focus and attention inthese different ways, and the more
(30:48):
that you do it in tiny, bite sizedmoments, the easier it gets over time,
and then, you You'll start to seeshifts and changes that surprise you,
but it's not, but it's not linear.
Meghan (31:02):
No, it's definitely not linear.
But I also, as you said, the slowingdown, like that has been one of
my biggest lessons in everything.
And I think one of the hardest ones.
One of the hardest ones has been learningto be comfortable doing things slower,
(31:23):
whether it's projects, whether it'smowing, like mowing the lawn and just
like, actually, I went on a few walksin the last couple, in the last week
and a half and every friend that I wentfor a walk with was like, Oh my gosh.
Like can we slow down?
(31:44):
And I'm like, and by the third person,I was like, okay, clearly this, this is
something that's happening for me is,
Sara (31:54):
yeah, yeah, that's, I mean, it's amazing.
And I think to like that survivalpart, it's like not safe to slow down.
It's like, I got to keep going becauseI got to finish the things and I got
to run my business and I got to makethe money and we're in all of this.
Um, and.
And when we stay stuck in that,that's when we get really sick.
Or for, for me, my thing is, um, I fall.
(32:17):
I fall downstairs andI really hurt myself.
Um, so, like, I, I, at the beginningof January, I fractured my coccyx.
Um, I fell on my butt down snowy steps.
Um, and it's just the, and I've beenasking the universe, can we please
get this lesson in less painful ways?
Um, please, pretty please, right?
But it, but it is this way, andlike, I'm very much in the work, I'm
(32:39):
very proud of how much I shifted,and I still have to check myself.
And I still, you know, fell down, reallyhurt myself, didn't know it was fractured.
looked out at my car down thedriveway, looked back up at my
house and then went to work and didthree hours of hands on sessions.
So like, I still, I've been in thiswork, you know, now 12 years and I still
(33:00):
have these choice points that I, youknow, am contending with in my system
and so it's learning to be very kindto ourselves in that and recognize, you
know, for me that was a conscious choice.
Like, I was very aware I was not making agood choice, but I was, like, aware of it.
It wasn't an autopilot.
(33:21):
It was, it was a very clear choicepoint moment that, um, my husband then
yelled at me about later that nightwhen I got home and I couldn't walk.
Um, and, and then we learned from itand we moved forward, but that going
back to this failure piece or beatingourselves up when we make choices
that might not be great for ourbodies, like, The beating ourselves
up isn't going to make it any better.
(33:43):
It really isn't.
It's going to keep us stuckor trapped or in pain.
And so choosing into compassion, choosinginto kindness, and, you know, and then
getting to like learning from it andgetting to do it differently next time.
Meghan (33:56):
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Um, what are some tips that you canshare with listeners for staying
motivated during lows or, or justgetting through challenges in general?
Sara (34:11):
Yeah, so, I mean, there's lots of different things that people
can do, and I'm a really, um, bigadvocate of, like, finding things that
work for you, and leaving the rest.
Like, I think when we're on our selfdevelopment journeys, we can be, like,
looking for the one thing that's gonna,like, fix it, and then, like, we go and
work with someone, or we take a programor a course, and we're like, wait.
(34:32):
I don't know.
Um, and so my, my invitation is to beYou know, choosing things that resonate
so like from this conversation likeanything that that we're saying that
doesn't make sense to you, let itgo, and just take the bits and pieces
that work so to stay motivated on attimes where I may be not feeling so
motivated, or I might be stuck in freeze.
(34:54):
I usually make sure that I'm, I'mlike reassessing what space I have.
When I don't feel motivated, it'susually because I'm burnt out.
Or I'm in a part of a cycle whereI'm actually needing rest and
I'm needing space as opposed tolike being in the productivity.
(35:15):
Right?
And so there is sort of this misconceptionthat we like need to be motivated all the
time or to like be doing all these things.
And, you know, if I woke up and broughtmy son to two homeschool things and
came home and saw three clients and thencreated space for myself to work on a
creative project and don't feel motivated.
Uh, no kidding.
(35:37):
Like, I just did.
All that output, right?
So it's, it's really learninghow to create these spaces of, of
recalibration, of downtime, of beingable to sense ourselves so that
we know what like genuine creativemotivation feels like within us.
(35:58):
Versus when we're forcing,trying to sort of be motivated.
Usually I would look atlike, did you eat today?
Have you had anything to drink?
Like, did you sleep?
Those three things, like if you didn'tsleep good and you haven't eaten or
you haven't eaten much and you're nothydrated, those are going to impact
your motivation right off the bat.
(36:18):
So like, going back to basics first,like kind of do a like, like that,
those checks, like hungry, grumpy,sleepy, you know, like checking all.
And then from that point, you know, reallylooking at your calendar and seeing,
okay, am I getting downtime where I'm notbeing motivated, where I'm giving myself
tons of permission to not be motivated?
(36:41):
And then from it, most peopledon't have that, right?
So then, then it's not a motivationissue, it's a rest issue.
Yeah.
When those break, you know, whenyou start to build in days off,
when you start to really createspace, your productivity and your
motivation will follow suit with that.
Meghan (37:01):
Yeah, I, well, I've seen that for myself just in this last
year with the acknowledgement that Ireally need to work on slowing down.
Um, the, the crash and burn is way less.
Um, and that's a pattern, like yousaid, you've been like working on it's,
it's not linear and nothing is justgoing to come and that just happened.
(37:23):
I know a lot of people, you know, layin bed one night and they're like,
tomorrow it's going to be like this.
And like, we can do all the manifesting,visualizing and all the different
things, but really it is, it, it, wehave to get comfortable with doing it
slowly and building up and building in.
(37:44):
Um, the trust.
One of the things that you, um,like a term that you use is, is
expansion and, and finding expanders.
Can you share a littlebit more about that?
Sara (37:56):
Sure.
So, um, you know, all, all things,all creatures on earth, including us
have cycles, um, have growth cyclesand, um, you know, so if we think
of a flower, Blooming right like it.
That's a process of sort of thisunfurling and then into the expansion
of like our fullest potential.
So I really believe that we're hereto access that fully expanded place.
(38:22):
And, you know, as we're expandingright whether we're expanding our
businesses or expanding our familiesor calling in more friendships.
That takes a toll on them on the body.
Right.
So if I want to bring in more money.
I that also is going to have a toll onmy my nervous system and my physical
(38:42):
body like we want to be able to to bein a fortified expansion like where my
capacity can hold what's coming in withoutbreakdowns and so what I like to do is
look for people who in my world or in myfield or on my socials who are mirroring.
what I want, how I want to be,because our brain has mirror neurons,
(39:07):
like when we see something, it'sshowing our brain that it's possible.
It's showing our whole nervoussystem and body that it's possible.
So when you're on social media andyou're feeling jealous of someone
you're seeing, that's a really goodping to shift that into, Ooh, thank
you for showing me what I want.
Thank you for showing.
And those people get to be expanders.
(39:29):
And so, really showing our wholesystems what is actually possible.
And the more we're surrounding ourselveswith that information, like, get, like,
getting, you might have people in yourimmediate world, but I love, like, movies
and TV for this too, where, like, Youknow, if I want to work on owning my power
and I want to work on like my femininequeen energy, like I tell clients all the
(39:53):
time, go find their great PBS shows aboutqueens where there are all these teenage
girls who had to like own their queendomin front of all of these courts of men.
Um, there's some really,really great ones.
And watching, when we're watchingthat energy and we're watching other
people doing the things, being thethings that we want, you know, It then
(40:14):
allows our nervous system to digest.
Oh, this like is actually possible.
Meghan (40:20):
I love that.
I love that so much.
And it's interesting to like,cause inspiration can really be
found in so many different ways.
Um, and that's what I'mstarting to also realize too.
Like, yes.
Utilizing another human being,another, um, can really help people.
I, for myself have been evennoticing other organisms.
(40:45):
Being helpful as my, towards expansion.
It's, it's been really, it'sbeen really interesting.
Oh, it's amazing.
Sara (40:54):
Yeah, absolutely.
Like nature, like, you know,working with trees or water
or like the heat of the sun.
Like whenever we're having anyof those mirrors of energy.
Yeah, it shifts physically in our bodies.
Meghan (41:11):
It's the heat of the sun and the brightness of the sun is
definitely something that has alwaysbeen one of those things for me.
Yeah, yeah, I, I havethis, I have this vision.
As soon as someone says he, like,as soon as you said that a vision
of this one time and space.
And I remember just turning aroundtowards the sun and just like
(41:35):
closing my eyes and standing there.
With that heat of the sun, just like.
beaming on me and uh, beautiful.
What has been one of the mostsurprising connections you've
made along your journey?
Sara (41:53):
Oh, that's a, that's an interesting question.
So I think for me, It really has comedown to that our body has the capability
to self heal and, and to reorganize.
Um, my medical journey was like veryfrustrating, like so many of us have
where, you know, I was having differentissues in different parts of my body.
(42:15):
So going to all of these differentdoctors and everyone saying
everything is not connected.
But when we live in this oneorganism, it's all connected.
And so, sort of like, you know, aftersomeone prescribed me a medication
that I went to get filled out atthe pharmacy and the pharmacist
looked at me and said, really, areyou sure they give this to horses?
(42:38):
And I looked at him and I was like, huh?
And I, nope.
And that was like a, like aweird energetic moment for me
where I was like, I'm done.
No thanks, like I'm, I'm done being inthese conversations with these doctors
that are saying, I'm not, you know, Ihave some weird wrist disease and you'll
never have full mobility and you havethis thing and this you're never gonna
meh meh meh and all of the things.
(42:59):
No, no, our bodies have an amazinginnate capacity and intelligence.
And through my somatic work and someother energetic work that I did, I
started to really tap into this wisdomand invite in and bring in healing.
And I do, in some ways, you know,my falls are these opportunities
again for me to be in myself healing.
(43:22):
Um, you know, and.
So is it time to teach it?
Probably, because I just keepgetting, getting that in my face.
But you know, the bottom line is thatwhen we learn how our body works, when
we learn how to harness the cycles ofthe nervous system, we can really, really
access our innate potential and forhealing, but also for any, for anything.
(43:47):
And that's, that's pretty amazing.
Meghan (43:51):
I'm so much more a believer of all of that over the last few
years of all the different things.
Um, cause yeah, everyone probablyhas a story about, you know, Western
medicine versus like our own intuition.
And I would even sayin motherhood as well.
That was a huge, a huge, um, beginningfor me of really understanding intuition,
(44:19):
you know, like the mother's intuition.
Um, but I would also say women'sintuition with that as well.
And not that men don't have theirown intuition, but, um, I do
feel that it's a lot different.
It
Sara (44:35):
is different.
It's, it comes and I, Youknow, my husband, I have this
conversation all the time.
His information comes in differentlythan, than mine, you know,
and, and it's, it's different.
Meghan (44:45):
Yeah, exactly.
Um, one of the other things, um, thatI'd love to touch on is overcoming
imposter syndrome, like in, insomatics and in nervous system.
Um, what is, what is, Because
(45:05):
imposter syndrome, especially nowwith social media, and you brought
up, you know, when you're lookingat something and, and you might feel
jealousy, you know, for me, sometimesit feels like more, not so much
jealous, but it feels like, Who am I?
(45:27):
Right.
To do not only what I'm tryingto do, but then to also match,
because that's the vision.
Do you know what I, do youunderstand what I mean?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
Sara (45:38):
Yeah.
And so speaking to imposter syndromea little bit, is that, yeah.
Yeah, so I, I think there's a few thingsthat happen with imposter syndrome.
I think particularly like in, in theUnited States, if you're living in the
United States and listening, like, youknow, we, um, don't like to be a beginner.
We think that we just have to begreat at stuff right off the bat.
(46:00):
And then if we're not, there'ssomething wrong with us.
And so there is a piece of this too, like,allowing yourself, if you're starting
something or it's new, to like, giveyourself permission to, you know, be in
the learning of it, and that is, that,you're not being an imposter, you're,
owning the stage of where you're atand making your offers from that place
(46:23):
of this is new and this is importantand I'm offering from that place.
So there's sort of like that category.
And then for those of us who've beendoing work for a long time and do have
a mission, have a purpose, you know, arereally aligned with what we've got going
on, There are ways that we can startto, um, train our body to feel safe.
(46:49):
And comfortable in ouralignment and in our message.
And so it's, you know, there's a rootinginto faith and trust around like this
is the reason like why I'm here thatwe then can like make as a touchstone.
back to, like, whenthose feelings come up.
So a practice that I love to do, thisisn't somatic based, but, um, it's just
(47:13):
something that I find helpful, is startingan evidence bank, like on your phone,
on your notepad, like, Of clients you'vehelped, of things you're doing that,
like, have had success, of feedback thatyou've gotten, like, micro all the way
to big things, like, I mean, like, teenytiny little things, fill this list up,
(47:34):
and so that when you're in a moment ofan imposter syndrome, or like, you know,
you're going into a podcast interview,and, and you're feeling like, oh, this
is a big following, and, you know, Idon't know how I'm going to feel about
this, right, like, if you feel that,it's, you know, You know, there are
tools that you can work with with yourbody to actually settle your body and to
then pull in an imprint of confidence.
(47:57):
So there's ways that we can work withdifferent embodiments that we hold
in our posture, in our tissues, andphysically how we feel in our body.
But I love the list because it can,like, we often forget how awesome we are.
It's like, we really do.
We forget all the things that we'vedone or what we've grown or how long
(48:17):
we've been doing our business or in thething, you know, and so having it very
concretely, which does feel weird, but,and simple, but like on your phone to
just pull up at any time can be a reallybig diffuser in those like heightened
moments of second, guessing ourselves.
I love the evidence
Meghan (48:38):
bank.
I love that idea because it is true.
And as soon as you said that,I was like, yeah, we do forget.
We do.
Um, and whether it's because, youknow, we're raised to kind of be
more humble, um, it's okay to relivethose moments that you have evidence
(49:05):
Of doing something wonderful,especially when it's towards the end.
Your alignment and and what I callyour true north like when you're in
that feeling of that you are on thepath like all the things those are
those evidence pieces that you cango back to to remind you like this is
(49:26):
this is taking me that step forward.
Sara (49:29):
Absolutely.
And that's what builds confidence.
And then the other piece that I'llsay is, you can't be an imposter
because no one is like you.
Right?
We all have our own frequency.
We all have our own energy.
And so even if you're doing similar workto other people, no one is going to do it
(49:51):
your way because of the flavor, your work.
That you are bringing to your work.
So really rooting into the factthat we really are individuals.
And it's the same in nature to reflect.
There are no two species of thesame tree that are identical.
There are no two flowersthat are identical.
Like they all are slightly different.
And so we get to bring sort of that,like, um, aspect of the prism, you know,
(50:16):
I was getting this image of like, youknow, all the facets of the prism and
like, we get to shine our one facet here.
And your people will find you.
Your people will bemagnetized to that facet.
Meghan (50:30):
Which is, yes.
And that is something that I too havejust been really, really trusting in
lately, is that even, even with hostinga podcast, the right guests will find me.
The right guests Whether it's right forme, whether it's right for the audience,
(50:50):
like, you know, saying it that way, butit's just like that alignment, the energy,
the frequency, all of those things.
Um, we are, we have talkedabout so many things.
Um, just looking at the time here.
Um, I feel like we'vecovered so much ground.
(51:10):
This has been so great.
Sara (51:12):
Awesome.
Meghan (51:14):
Would you like to share what your personal favorite, um, services
or offerings are in, in what you do?
Sara (51:23):
Ah, sure.
So I offer some Matic coaching sessionsand containers with, um, folks.
And so that is an opportunity thatif you're wanting to work on shifting
patterns of behavior, being able tohold more, or you're getting sick a lot.
So a lot of what we're talking about, oryou've done a lot of therapy and you're
ready for like lasting change, that's.
(51:44):
That's sort of where I step in andI love, I love this work and I,
um, I get so jazzed up working withother, other humans, but specifically
women too, or, you know, if you'rea mom, so I homeschool my youngest.
I also have a freshman in college,which is blowing, blowing my mind a bit.
You know, working with all thosedynamics and especially if you identify
(52:05):
as highly sensitive or empathetic.
I do a lot of work on helpingpeople, um, untangle from merging.
So, like, if you feel like you take on orpick up other people's energy a lot, or
you have trouble, like, going out in biggroups because you feel like you're taking
other people's energy, I do a lot of workaround how to fortify and work with your
own nervous system so that you're, you'renot doing those things automatically.
(52:29):
Um, and then one of my favoritefavorite offerings is I have
a one on one weekend retreat.
That's a somatic healing weekend foranyone who's really wanting to go deep.
So I'm my business is all aboutcreating spaces for healing and
for integration and expansion.
And so this is a really deep diveopportunity to really Help catalyst
(52:52):
you into this next phase or a stage.
So I have a I have a couple ofclients to do them quarterly.
I have a couple of clients that do acouple times a year that sort of like
in the spring and then in the fall.
That's just sort of helpingtheir body in their system.
So those weekendsinclude hands on support.
Um, working with, um, a modality I'mtraining called the melt method, which
(53:15):
works with our connective tissue andhelps release stress from the body
and stuckness and gets rid of pain andthen intuitive exercises and things.
It's really like a co creation,which is why they're so fun.
So if you're in New England orwant to fly to the New England
area in the States, um, I am yourgal for a solo customized weekend.
Meghan (53:36):
That sounds incredible.
It really, it's on my, it's on my list.
Retreats to try like I oftendo conferences and different
types of business retreats.
Um, and that is really on my, mybucket list of different ones to go
to, because I, I do, I do realizehow important the holistic aspect of.
(54:00):
Personal but also professional way ofdoing things is, um, is there any, is
there any other topics or anything thatyou would like to bring up that maybe
we didn't get a chance to touch on?
Sara (54:14):
Let me just tune in for a second and see if there's something
else that wants to be shared.
Yeah, I think what's coming throughjust to end is that, you know, change
is possible, and sometimes we get reallystuck in feeling like we're stuck a
certain way, and especially, you know,things are very complicated right now.
Things are very hard right now.
(54:36):
It's not an easy time thatwe've chosen to be here.
on the planet.
And so when stuff is chaotic andchallenging externally and internally
in our family systems or our own bodies,um, it can feel overwhelming that
things are going to be this way forever.
And, um, I, I hope that I can be a mirrorand expander of potential and possibility
(54:56):
for anyone listening that like, you know,it gets to change, things get to change.
Like I identify was like thatperfectionist type A and, you know,
zero to 10 scale of 10 being superuber stressed out all the time.
That was me.
The 30 something years, um,and I've been able to really re
pattern my system to invite in adifferent baseline and way of being.
(55:18):
And that doesn't mean I don't get angryor I don't get stressed out, but it
means I can come out of those states.
It means I'm not living in those statesand getting stuck in those states.
Um, and so just really offeringthat as some hope for anyone
who's feeling stuck right now.
Meghan (55:35):
That's a wonderful note to close this conversation.
Thank you so much,Sarah, for being on here.
Sara (55:43):
Yeah,
Meghan (55:44):
thanks so much for having me.
It's been such a fun and like the,the timing of this conversation
really, again, there's that, likewhen it just feels like it's the
right time, the frequency, everything.
For sure.
Exactly.
And that's truly what thisconversation is about, like the
timing of it and everything.
(56:04):
So thank you so very muchfor being on the podcast.
I can't wait to share it with everybody.
Great.
Happy to have been here with you.
Thank you, Sarah.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
Thank you for joining this week's episode of Anchor Your Dreams.
I hope you enjoyed today'sconversation as much as I did.
A big thank you to our incredible guestsfor sharing their wisdom and insights.
If you resonated with today's episodeand want to explore more about
turning your dreams into reality,Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
We have a lineup of amazing guestsand valuable content coming your way.
(56:56):
Don't forget to connectwith us on social media.
You can find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Share your thoughts, insights,and your own journey using the
hashtag anchor, your dreams.
Head over to our websiteat meganmcquillen.
com in the podcast section, where you'llfind the show notes, resources, and
information about upcoming episodes.
(57:18):
Before we wrap up, I want to express mygratitude to each and every one of you.
Your support means the worldto me, and I'm thrilled to
be on this journey with you.
Remember, anchored dreams becomegoals, anchored goals become results.
Until next time, dreambig and stay anchored.
If you are
someone who has a dream, but feelstuck, if you are facing obstacles that
seem overwhelming, or if you just needa dose of motivation to keep pushing
forward, then you are in the right place.
So buckle up dreamers, Anchoryour Dreams is not just a podcast.
(00:26):
It's a community, a community of dreamers,supporting dreamers, women, supporting
women, subscribe, follow along, and let'snavigate the seas of ambition together.
Thank you for joiningme on this adventure.
Get ready to be inspired,motivated, and empowered.
The journey begins now.
(00:49):
Today I am here with Sarah and sheis with Somass Synthesis Studios Inc.
Yeah.
Oh, welcome.
Thank you so much, Sarah, for beingon the anchor your dreams podcast.
I'd love to really get into a littlebit about your journey and, and
how you got to where you are today.
And then we can get into otherlots of great topics too.
Sara (01:13):
Excellent, Megan.
Thanks so much for having me.
Really happy to be here with you today.
So I was a guidancecounselor in a high school.
That's sort of where, where things began.
I actually got pregnant my senioryear in college on birth control.
So surprise.
So I, I immediatelyjumped into motherhood.
Um, and Once, sort of, I had the baby, Iwent back to school to get my master's,
(01:36):
and, and, I'd always been someone friendscame to for advice, so I thought, sure,
guidance counseling, awesome, I'd be goodat this, I'm very good at it, I entered
the school and was totally overloaded.
Um, in that role, you are navigatingteachers, you're navigating
administration, you're navigatingparents, and the kiddos, and the
(01:57):
dynamics between all the things, and.
No one taught me aboutpolitics in schools.
So when I was there, I was, you know,I've always been a perfectionist and
a high achiever and an overworker,and so was putting in long hours.
And my father, who was a sports,uh, Performance consultant could see
(02:20):
how miserable I was and said, youknow, why don't you come in and train
with me and you could eventuallyleave and start your own practice.
So I, while I was at the highschool, started to train with
my father and his methodology.
And also I went through thesomatic experiencing training, um,
which is a trauma modality thatworks with our nervous system.
(02:42):
Soma, somatic means body.
So really looking at sort of how weare governed by our survival patterns
and how that then affects how wefeel and think and be in our lives.
And when I did that training, it justreally woke me up to how shut down I was.
(03:04):
And shutdown can be two things.
Shutdown can be I'm in bed, Ican't get out of bed, I can't move.
And then for those of you who identifyas type A perfectionist overachievers,
shutdown is I am stuck on a hamsterwheel in an autopilot and doing and
being all the things all of the timeuntil one's body screams so loud that
(03:28):
it, um, You know, starts to affecthow we're showing up and that really
was what was happening for me as Istarted to reconnect with my body.
I realized, wow, I'm overriding.
I'm ignoring a lot of pain, a lotof discomfort and not realizing it.
And so, um, I was, it was five yearsinto being a guidance counselor.
(03:50):
I ended up quitting my job one summer.
And, um, decided to take what I calledmedical leave to try to address some
of what was showing up because all ofa sudden I was having all of these like
weird issues in lots of different ways inmy body because when we don't listen then
the body gets our attention in other ways.
Yeah.
(04:11):
It sure
Meghan (04:12):
does, doesn't it?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Sara (04:15):
And so at that point when I, when I quit, I just never looked back.
I created both my websites.
I work on the peak performancecoach, very similar to my father.
So I work a lot with athletes who haveblocks and fears and performers and
entrepreneurs who are navigating impostersyndrome and confidence issues and to,
you know, access and harness potential.
(04:36):
And then I also, um, am a somatic coachand have a whole somatic practice,
meaning I work with the body, I work withenergy, work with the nervous system.
So, oh, my, my overachievingtype Ayers, I am your gal.
Uh, lots of people find me after they'vedone decades of therapy and they know
what they want to shift and change.
(04:56):
But their bodies aren'tquite lining up with that.
And so that's where mywork really comes in.
We're looking sort ofunderneath all of the things.
And this is beyond mindset.
If your body is feeling or sensingdanger in any way, it doesn't matter
what kind of mindset you have.
Your body is going towin every, every time.
(05:17):
Wow.
Meghan (05:18):
Thank you, like, yes, you just validated so much of so many parts
of, of, um, not just me, but likemy youngest daughter was diagnosed
with autism and something elsecalled pathological demand avoidance.
(05:38):
And basically it's where her nervoussystem is in flight or fight.
24 seven.
So I see a lot of things a lotof times with nervous system.
But I'm only just really, reallybeginning to understand how to switch
(06:01):
like upregulate or downregulate.
I feel like we could, we could talkabout so many different things.
Um, but to go, sorry to go back.
Um, so your journey really tookyou in a really sort of wide
direction of different things.
Um, so what was the pivotal momentfor you that set you on the journey
(06:29):
from, like, you transitionedout of your guidance counseling,
you're doing a couple other things.
But one thing that really kind ofcame out at me was that you, you had
said that you, you asked yourself,what if I spent all this time and
attention on something that was justfor me, there is no way I could fail.
(06:53):
That really stood out for me becausefailure is such, um, like even
that word, when we say it, it hassuch a negative connotation to it.
Absolutely.
Sara (07:04):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And we get really hooked in, especiallyfor those of us who identify as being
more of like a perfectionist or apeople pleaser, we get really, really
hooked then because failure meansthat I'm not showing up in the way
I think I quote unquote should be.
In this and that causes a lot ofdistress and, you know, it's a quote
(07:26):
that my dad says all the time is,you know, it's for athletes, but I
just think it's applicable across theboard, which is winners fail the best
winners learn how to fail and not care.
You're, like, when you get reallyneutral about your failures, when
you can, like, not bring in thejudgment that we can do, right?
Like, spiraling in that negative vortexof doom and gloom where, like, we suck
(07:50):
and we should just quit or pivot ordo something different or give up.
Um, those voices aren't true.
We're not taught our thoughts aren't true.
And so we tend to believe thestories we're creating in our
heads, which creates sensationsin the body that don't feel good.
It creates states of beingand moods, and then we feel a
(08:13):
certain way about the things.
And then, so we're telling ourselvesthe story, and then we have the
feelings about the story, and thenall of that keeps us super stuck.
And so when we can learn how to getreally neutral about failure and make
it no big deal, it really can propel usreally quite rapidly towards the direction
(08:36):
of what our goals and dreams are.
Meghan (08:40):
So true.
So true.
Um, going back to sort of like thethoughts versus the sensations and
everything, um, that for me has beensomething that's come up, in the
last year, I kind of like had thissort of aha moment about like, yeah,
(09:02):
and then I'm actually then turningaround and not trusting a lot of
what's happening within me and havelost a sense of knowing what I need.
Yes.
Yes.
And then grasping at all these otherdifferent things, which can come and
look at, look, look like, you know,controlling of things that I really
(09:25):
have zero control over, which then just,And then it just adds to it all and
then brings me back into that vortex.
You just spoke of, which I literally like,I, I have lots of, um, experience in that
vortex, but, um, in the last year, I'vedefinitely had this huge shift, like.
(09:47):
I, I, I often sit and I wonder is itall the work that I've done previous
that is just starting to show up?
Is it just age and wisdom?
Is it some other I don't know, like,there's this energy All of the above!
All of the above!
Yeah!
And fair enough, you know, but that'salso the, the why, and the trying to
(10:08):
pinpoint what it is, is obviously partand parcel of needing to do something.
To know everything that's happening,
Sara (10:17):
but I also am learning to trust.
Yes, and the more we learn, and this iswhat started to happen when I started
to explore the body stuff, the morewe dive into trying to understand,
the more we realize we really can't.
And because our systems are holdingin ancestry, they're holding patterns
of our parents and their parents andwe're holding so much there's so much,
(10:42):
you know, so many layers that existwithin us that are driving some of our
core patterns of behavior that actuallydon't have anything to do with us.
And so, and it was just fascinating andsome pieces are ours and some pieces.
These pieces aren't ours and we candrive ourselves batty because I've
been there trying to sort out and siftout what exactly is this piece from.
(11:05):
And so what I love about the somaticwork is we're, I mean, we definitely have
to work with the mind, but we're reallykind of like giving the mind a rest.
and tuning into sensation andexactly like what you're sharing.
So many of us, because we're doingall the things, forget how to
even connect to what we actuallywant or need or like or desire.
(11:27):
And that's definitely my journey.
I've been last eight years trying tolike, Oh, what do I actually want to be
doing the same with my business as it'staken all these different layers and
evolutions of I'm good at a lot of stuff,but what do I actually want to be doing?
What am I actually lit upby and move from that place?
And, you know, it takes sometime to reconnect to that.
(11:51):
And the body is the gateway into reallyrealigning to what's important to
us, to knowing what's true for us, tobeing able to access our intuition.
All of that, from my, from mylens in, stems from working with
and connecting with our body.
Meghan (12:10):
Which makes complete sense to me, where I'm at now.
Yeah.
Like, I can, I can, yeah.
And, um, even, even just beingable to sit for a minute.
And, and acknowledge like what I'msitting on something as simple as that,
(12:33):
it would have never occurred to me, um,until I started, uh, doing different sort
of deep work and reading more about thenervous system and learning about it.
And, um, And shifting, youknow, like I used to hear
people say a lot of grounding.
Well, to me at that time,it's like, okay, that's great.
(12:56):
How do you do that?
What is that?
What are you talking about?
You know, and even one of my friendswas saying that she used to every
day, go outside and bare feet.
Yeah.
And, and that was intentional.
I didn't realize I've been doing thatdaily for so long, but it wasn't, I'm
(13:18):
going to go ground myself right now.
It's just a natural thing that I did.
But now I'm able to see the positivepattern that it's had on me.
And now I do it more intentionally.
Sara (13:31):
That's beautiful.
And it is so amazing, right?
Like what you're describing is thisinnate wisdom that our bodies have.
That even though intellectually youdidn't understand that stepping on the
earth with bare feet Feet was goingto deeply, like, realign you to start
to have you merge with the healthyenergy of the earth that's going
to bring in calmness and grounding.
(13:51):
Your body just did it, right?
And there are ways that, you know,we've really ignored for so long
that we've lost touch and connectionto, like, what are those healthy
cycles and that body intelligence.
that lives within.
And so that, like you're saying, takingthese spaces becomes key, especially
for anyone listening who's sort of like,you know, running your own business or
(14:11):
you're a working mom and you, you know,you're doing all the things like, you
know, we have to prioritize creatingspace so that we can sense ourselves,
so that we can take a minute, sothat we can feel like literally just.
Feel our butts in our seats, like, um,which again, as you were saying, like, and
we both laughed is so silly and simple.
And yet it's what organizes andorients our organism to actually
(14:36):
recognize that you're just abody in a room at that moment.
And there's no tiger coming to eat you.
Um, you know, which is, you know,You know, when we live in a lot of
activation energy, a lot of stress,anxiety, or even if you don't
identify as being stressed out, butyou're busy and you are just doing a
lot, that's still churning the samechemicals as if you were stressed out.
(14:56):
That's cortisol, that's adrenaline,and we're, you know, those chemicals
are super important for our survivalinstincts, but they're not designed
to be turned on all the time.
And that's where so many ofus is, you know, are sick and,
you know, or we're in pain.
Um, you know, or we're, you know, getin pain after the day or like get sick
(15:18):
after we run a workshop or do a big launchor running, you know, a big event, um,
because we're ignoring, we're ignoringwhat the body is trying to say to us.
Meghan (15:30):
Well, and going back to that word, Which I wrote down is overriding.
Um, cause I find like, even for myself,I, I used to do a lot of markets and
there's a lot of peopling involved andwith all the chaos, Um, and everything
(15:52):
that happens at home, then going outand having a different type of chaos,
something I wanted and invited intomy life, I would need days after
these events to like, come out of it.
I didn't realize that before.
I thought there wassomething wrong with me.
(16:12):
And I thought, well, again, this isa piece of, well, I'm, I'm a failure
and how can I be an entrepreneur ifI can't handle doing this, this, and
this, but really what it came downto is like, no, you need to start
listening, stop overriding things.
Stop overriding the rest.
(16:32):
And build it into your schedule.
Sara (16:36):
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
And what you're reallytalking about is capacity.
Right?
Like, whether, you know, becauselots of us are capable, you know, we
all could, you know, we can suck itup and plow forward and do it all.
We're all, we do that a lot.
Um, but like, what actually isour capacity and learning our
edges and then learning whatwe need to expand our capacity.
(16:58):
And everybody.
And everybody.
And everybody.
Like literally bodyneeds different things.
And so for some of us, like, youknow, really resonate with what
you're saying around the markets.
For me, it was travel.
I go away.
Fly to California, cross the country,teach a weekend program, come back and get
mad at myself on Monday when I was tired.
And it's like, well girl, like, you flewacross the country, you taught for like 14
(17:22):
hours, like, two days, you know, in a row.
And then you're on no sleep, tooka red eye back, and you're mad at
yourself that you're, you're tired.
Like, we do that, and soit's really learning, like,
your unique cycle and system.
And in a cycle, we have expansion,and then we have contraction.
And, like, not fearing thecontraction places, not making them
(17:45):
wrong or bad or equal failure, butembracing them and building them in.
Like, so now when I travel, I don't bookanything for, you know, at least one day.
I try to do two, but at least oneday after, right, because I know I
need that time to, you know, helpmyself feel more expanded and come
(18:07):
back into alignment with myself.
And it's the same thing, like, I'lldo, I do a holistic fair once a year,
and I speak at it, and it's two days,and it's a lot of peopling, it's
a lot of conversations, I love it,it's awesome, and it's exhausting.
And so, figuring out in those scenarios,like, old me would have been like, you
know, no water, not bring any food,just, Be in the excitement and talk to
(18:31):
everybody and then I get home and I'vegot a headache and I like haven't eaten
anything and I got the shakes and thenI'd get sick right after and so, you
know, learning to make sure like I alwaysbring my husband now he's always, you
know, making sure my water is filled,you know, my food is like coming to me.
So I'm eating like that.
I'm getting in a tub that nightand not just saying I'm too tired.
(18:53):
That I'm building things in forme that help sustain my system.
And if I'm ignoring my body or Idon't even know what my body needs,
I'm not going to do those things.
And then I'm going to crash even more.
And so it's again, this connection ofcoming back to really paying attention and
listening and re and it's a lot for a lotof us, it's reconnecting to our bodies.
Meghan (19:18):
Yes.
Well, and that's just it.
And then as you're listening and you'reconnecting and you're trusting your
body and your intuition and what itneeds, and you actually acknowledge and
serve that, then you are, you're reallystarting to also allow for endurance
(19:38):
to be built up because that's for me.
That word endurance and what one thingthat I kind of am coming to is like,
okay, I'm acknowledging all this stuff.
I'm acknowledging that I need the rest.
That's great.
And it sounds like I can relate tothe no water, the no drinking, the no
eating, all these different things.
(20:03):
You start like there's a lack oftrust essentially within the organism
doing all those things and havinglike I did a an event not that long
ago and I did have a friend help meat this event and she's like, Okay,
Megan, you need to stop right now.
I'm getting you water.
And I was like, Oh, right.
(20:25):
That probably would bea good thing right now.
And, um, otherwise I wouldhave powered through.
Not because I wasn't, like, thirsty, butpart of it's because I was having fun.
And adrenaline in those moments shows up.
Even though it's not a sabertoothed tiger, adrenaline still can
help you get through things, too.
Sara (20:45):
Absolutely.
And I think, too, a lot of usunderestimate, you know, we think, oh,
if we're in excitement or joy or in this,you know, fun place, like, that's fine.
It's again, if I'm in excitement, it'sthe same activation as if I'm in fear,
from a chemical standpoint in the body.
And so we have to make sure thatwe're like really deeply caring for
ourselves in those moments so thatwe have the endurance so that we
(21:07):
have the capacity so that we're not.
crashing, and also so that we'relike, accessing our best self.
If I'm not eating, and I'm notdrinking, and I'm trying to have
coherent conversations with people,or try to like, connect in with
someone, I'm not going to be as clearheaded as um, if I'm like, actually
(21:27):
nourishing and taking care of my body.
Meghan (21:31):
And for sure, yeah, and also just as you were saying that too, it
brought me to like, To realize, andthis is now looking back at the event.
If I had have just even like twoseconds, just stopped taking a sip.
It also would have brought meback to awareness to other things
that were happening around me.
(21:52):
I was, I tunnel vision, right.
That's sort of like hyper focusedtunnel vision will creep in.
And, um, yeah, so yeah, building, um,building on the capacity and everything.
That's.
I think something to look at andunderstanding that it is a work
(22:14):
in progress and it does takework, but it's It's achievable.
Sara (22:19):
Yeah, and I think for, you know, those again who, who run a
little type A, you know, it's notlike I'm going to check it off the
list and now it's all fine, right?
Like it's, it's, um, it's a practice.
And I tell my somatic coaching clientsthis all the time because a lot of them
come and say, okay, like, so when weget to week four, I'm gonna and I'm
like, no, this is not how this works.
(22:40):
It's not linear.
It's not a linear journey becausestressors come up triggers come up
think we get pulled in these differentdirections or, you know, if you're, you
know, a woman and have a cycle we're oncycles and you know and feel different
ways during our cycles and that impacts.
Our focus and concentration.
And so as you're, you're workingwith this, there's a lot of
(23:01):
patience that we want to invitein for our growing awareness and
for practicing these new skills.
If you've been operating this way forthe majority of your life, like, you
know, I have three decades under mebefore I started the somatic work, right?
Like that's 30 years of operatingone way, right, is going to take
a hot minute here to then help mybody shift into a different state.
(23:26):
It's like a disservice to get madat ourselves, you know, that stuff's
not working or it's not going quickenough when, hey, we've been doing
these same patterns for a long time.
Like, let's create some space and somepatience and kindness to ourselves while
we're in a renegotiation in our bodies.
(23:46):
Um, yeah,
Meghan (23:48):
I love that.
You just said renegotiation.
Um, I have been, I read a book andit really, it changed a lot, but one
of the things was about agreements.
And this is something that shiftedwith myself as well, because we make
agreements with ourselves, right?
Those little mini agreements, like I'mgoing to get up five minutes earlier.
(24:11):
I'm going to do X, Y, and Z.
And I was holding on to the fact thatI had all these broken agreements.
And instead of understanding that I couldrenegotiate with self and those agreements
(24:32):
that, that for me, like having thatconversation with myself really repaired.
all of those broken agreementsand allowed me to move forward.
And then it's like, now it'sonly making those agreements,
um, with like that whole body.
Yes.
Sort of standpoint.
Um, one of the other things that you'vesaid too, which I really, um, want
(24:56):
to touch on is inviting in patients.
Yeah.
Um, Because I feel like, likewe are so go, go, go, go, go.
And when we're up in that state ofour nervous system, we do tend to
lack patience for things that creepin and change, change the course
(25:16):
of something that we're doing.
So could you talk a little bit moreeven, um, on the nervous system,
part of it and patients and like.
regulation.
Sara (25:26):
Yeah, and I, you know, for those of us who are in that go go going and
are resonating with what we're talkingabout here, you know, our bodies are
wise and your system needed to be inthat place for the years that it did.
We adopt these strategies evenwhen they're very disproportional.
functional in our lives because forsome reason our body thinks that's
(25:46):
what's going to help us be safe.
And it can be our fam, itcan stem from our families.
Um, it could also stem,stem from like our ancestry.
So going back to likelooking at you as a people.
So like all of my ancestralpeople come from, um, Lithuanian.
They're all, um, Ashkenazi Jews.
And so go, go, going, inmy culture was survival.
(26:08):
You were always on the move, like,otherwise you would be killed,
otherwise you would be captured.
You were always kind of hiding.
There's a lot of, like, fear of beingseen, I've had to get over, right?
Like, that stems more, um,like, that goes way, way back.
And, yeah, uh, we'rehaving a moment over here.
Sorry, sorry, but.
(26:29):
Megan's having a moment.
Well, it did, because justhow you just expressed that.
Whoa.
Sorry.
Yeah, what's landingfor you in this moment?
What is coming?
Just the go go go for fear of capture.
Meghan (26:46):
Yeah.
Yes.
Like, I'm not, like, I, all Iknow is my, my, my grandma came
from, um, her ancestry is German.
Yep.
And not that there was a lot of storiesabout capture necessarily from me growing
up, but one of the things that, um, I'vealways done with my dad is look at our
(27:11):
history, even our, um, from, from Ireland.
But one of the things that stood outyears ago was we were looking at a census.
So that's like where you, someone knockson your door and writes down who's in
your household and all these things.
Well, her maiden name was, um, Holstand her, a family member changed it.
(27:40):
So that got the conversation about notwanting to be seen from, so changing
like, um, I think it was instead ofHolst, it was, it could have been
even just as simple as like a, a Atransversal of letters, but I also
know that based on conversationsthat that was part of it, right?
(28:02):
This fear of being seen and showingup in life as to who you are and
something as simple as changing a name.
Um, But yeah, so that's, that's justwhat kind of came up with and I just,
it was just the way you said it.
Sara (28:18):
It just pinged.
Yeah.
And, and also if you identify asfemale and you're listening, right?
Like, you know, we are holdingall of the witch history, right?
And particularly if, you know, you'rerunning your own business and you're,
you know, Dealing with a lot of fear thatcomes up about being seen or about being
in your, like, authentic expression.
(28:39):
Like, there's a lot that wecontend with that kind of goes
back to, you know, it wasn't safeto be, you know, a medicine woman.
It wasn't safe to sort of own yourpsychic gifts at a particular point.
It was for a while, and then patriarchyhappened, and then it became a problem.
But all of that lives within us.
And so going back to sort of thequestion that you asked around, okay,
(29:01):
like, So, how do I give myself patience?
It's, we have to start to learnto train our bodies to feel
okay with the slowing down.
That it's safe to slow down.
And that's a mantrathat I work with a lot.
It's safe to slow down.
Um, it's safe to be seen is another one,but and then learning, you know, it's
(29:24):
sort of helping build safety in the systemand safety is relative like I'm very
aware that, you know, I'm an upper middleclass woman financially and I'm white.
Okay, so that's very different forsafety for me is very different
than someone who looks like me.
And so it's sort of like thespectrum of safety, right?
But building that in ourselves, andthen also at the same time, getting
(29:46):
comfortable being uncomfortable.
Getting comfortable with, okay, if Itake a pause, and everything in me is
wanting me to wash the sink of dishes!
Right?
But I'm at my pause momentbecause I've built in rest, but
I keep seeing the dishes, right?
That's a choice point.
Like, am I going to go do the dishes oram I also, like, actually going to help
(30:07):
my body start to be okay in this and beable to acknowledge and meet that part
of me that really wants to do the dishesand then maybe go outside and, you know,
And feel my feet on the grass and ground.
And then maybe I do the dishes, right?
And so it's like learning to playwith those edges of discomfort.
And that's how we build in the patience.
(30:28):
Because it's, True, it's very hard to justlike, okay, now I'm just gonna be patient
with myself, or now I'm just gonna takeall these great pauses, and, you know, I
listened to this podcast on nervous systemhealing, and now I'm gonna be great.
It's gonna, it's gonna take some timeto, like, keep helping to orient your
body and your focus and attention inthese different ways, and the more
(30:48):
that you do it in tiny, bite sizedmoments, the easier it gets over time,
and then, you You'll start to seeshifts and changes that surprise you,
but it's not, but it's not linear.
Meghan (31:02):
No, it's definitely not linear.
But I also, as you said, the slowingdown, like that has been one of
my biggest lessons in everything.
And I think one of the hardest ones.
One of the hardest ones has been learningto be comfortable doing things slower,
(31:23):
whether it's projects, whether it'smowing, like mowing the lawn and just
like, actually, I went on a few walksin the last couple, in the last week
and a half and every friend that I wentfor a walk with was like, Oh my gosh.
Like can we slow down?
(31:44):
And I'm like, and by the third person,I was like, okay, clearly this, this is
something that's happening for me is,
Sara (31:54):
yeah, yeah, that's, I mean, it's amazing.
And I think to like that survivalpart, it's like not safe to slow down.
It's like, I got to keep going becauseI got to finish the things and I got
to run my business and I got to makethe money and we're in all of this.
Um, and.
And when we stay stuck in that,that's when we get really sick.
Or for, for me, my thing is, um, I fall.
(32:17):
I fall downstairs andI really hurt myself.
Um, so, like, I, I, at the beginningof January, I fractured my coccyx.
Um, I fell on my butt down snowy steps.
Um, and it's just the, and I've beenasking the universe, can we please
get this lesson in less painful ways?
Um, please, pretty please, right?
But it, but it is this way, andlike, I'm very much in the work, I'm
(32:39):
very proud of how much I shifted,and I still have to check myself.
And I still, you know, fell down, reallyhurt myself, didn't know it was fractured.
looked out at my car down thedriveway, looked back up at my
house and then went to work and didthree hours of hands on sessions.
So like, I still, I've been in thiswork, you know, now 12 years and I still
(33:00):
have these choice points that I, youknow, am contending with in my system
and so it's learning to be very kindto ourselves in that and recognize, you
know, for me that was a conscious choice.
Like, I was very aware I was not making agood choice, but I was, like, aware of it.
It wasn't an autopilot.
(33:21):
It was, it was a very clear choicepoint moment that, um, my husband then
yelled at me about later that nightwhen I got home and I couldn't walk.
Um, and, and then we learned from itand we moved forward, but that going
back to this failure piece or beatingourselves up when we make choices
that might not be great for ourbodies, like, The beating ourselves
up isn't going to make it any better.
(33:43):
It really isn't.
It's going to keep us stuckor trapped or in pain.
And so choosing into compassion, choosinginto kindness, and, you know, and then
getting to like learning from it andgetting to do it differently next time.
Meghan (33:56):
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Um, what are some tips that you canshare with listeners for staying
motivated during lows or, or justgetting through challenges in general?
Sara (34:11):
Yeah, so, I mean, there's lots of different things that people
can do, and I'm a really, um, bigadvocate of, like, finding things that
work for you, and leaving the rest.
Like, I think when we're on our selfdevelopment journeys, we can be, like,
looking for the one thing that's gonna,like, fix it, and then, like, we go and
work with someone, or we take a programor a course, and we're like, wait.
(34:32):
I don't know.
Um, and so my, my invitation is to beYou know, choosing things that resonate
so like from this conversation likeanything that that we're saying that
doesn't make sense to you, let itgo, and just take the bits and pieces
that work so to stay motivated on attimes where I may be not feeling so
motivated, or I might be stuck in freeze.
(34:54):
I usually make sure that I'm, I'mlike reassessing what space I have.
When I don't feel motivated, it'susually because I'm burnt out.
Or I'm in a part of a cycle whereI'm actually needing rest and
I'm needing space as opposed tolike being in the productivity.
(35:15):
Right?
And so there is sort of this misconceptionthat we like need to be motivated all the
time or to like be doing all these things.
And, you know, if I woke up and broughtmy son to two homeschool things and
came home and saw three clients and thencreated space for myself to work on a
creative project and don't feel motivated.
Uh, no kidding.
(35:37):
Like, I just did.
All that output, right?
So it's, it's really learninghow to create these spaces of, of
recalibration, of downtime, of beingable to sense ourselves so that
we know what like genuine creativemotivation feels like within us.
(35:58):
Versus when we're forcing,trying to sort of be motivated.
Usually I would look atlike, did you eat today?
Have you had anything to drink?
Like, did you sleep?
Those three things, like if you didn'tsleep good and you haven't eaten or
you haven't eaten much and you're nothydrated, those are going to impact
your motivation right off the bat.
(36:18):
So like, going back to basics first,like kind of do a like, like that,
those checks, like hungry, grumpy,sleepy, you know, like checking all.
And then from that point, you know, reallylooking at your calendar and seeing,
okay, am I getting downtime where I'm notbeing motivated, where I'm giving myself
tons of permission to not be motivated?
(36:41):
And then from it, most peopledon't have that, right?
So then, then it's not a motivationissue, it's a rest issue.
Yeah.
When those break, you know, whenyou start to build in days off,
when you start to really createspace, your productivity and your
motivation will follow suit with that.
Meghan (37:01):
Yeah, I, well, I've seen that for myself just in this last
year with the acknowledgement that Ireally need to work on slowing down.
Um, the, the crash and burn is way less.
Um, and that's a pattern, like yousaid, you've been like working on it's,
it's not linear and nothing is justgoing to come and that just happened.
(37:23):
I know a lot of people, you know, layin bed one night and they're like,
tomorrow it's going to be like this.
And like, we can do all the manifesting,visualizing and all the different
things, but really it is, it, it, wehave to get comfortable with doing it
slowly and building up and building in.
(37:44):
Um, the trust.
One of the things that you, um,like a term that you use is, is
expansion and, and finding expanders.
Can you share a littlebit more about that?
Sara (37:56):
Sure.
So, um, you know, all, all things,all creatures on earth, including us
have cycles, um, have growth cyclesand, um, you know, so if we think
of a flower, Blooming right like it.
That's a process of sort of thisunfurling and then into the expansion
of like our fullest potential.
So I really believe that we're hereto access that fully expanded place.
(38:22):
And, you know, as we're expandingright whether we're expanding our
businesses or expanding our familiesor calling in more friendships.
That takes a toll on them on the body.
Right.
So if I want to bring in more money.
I that also is going to have a toll onmy my nervous system and my physical
(38:42):
body like we want to be able to to bein a fortified expansion like where my
capacity can hold what's coming in withoutbreakdowns and so what I like to do is
look for people who in my world or in myfield or on my socials who are mirroring.
what I want, how I want to be,because our brain has mirror neurons,
(39:07):
like when we see something, it'sshowing our brain that it's possible.
It's showing our whole nervoussystem and body that it's possible.
So when you're on social media andyou're feeling jealous of someone
you're seeing, that's a really goodping to shift that into, Ooh, thank
you for showing me what I want.
Thank you for showing.
And those people get to be expanders.
(39:29):
And so, really showing our wholesystems what is actually possible.
And the more we're surrounding ourselveswith that information, like, get, like,
getting, you might have people in yourimmediate world, but I love, like, movies
and TV for this too, where, like, Youknow, if I want to work on owning my power
and I want to work on like my femininequeen energy, like I tell clients all the
(39:53):
time, go find their great PBS shows aboutqueens where there are all these teenage
girls who had to like own their queendomin front of all of these courts of men.
Um, there's some really,really great ones.
And watching, when we're watchingthat energy and we're watching other
people doing the things, being thethings that we want, you know, It then
(40:14):
allows our nervous system to digest.
Oh, this like is actually possible.
Meghan (40:20):
I love that.
I love that so much.
And it's interesting to like,cause inspiration can really be
found in so many different ways.
Um, and that's what I'mstarting to also realize too.
Like, yes.
Utilizing another human being,another, um, can really help people.
I, for myself have been evennoticing other organisms.
(40:45):
Being helpful as my, towards expansion.
It's, it's been really, it'sbeen really interesting.
Oh, it's amazing.
Sara (40:54):
Yeah, absolutely.
Like nature, like, you know,working with trees or water
or like the heat of the sun.
Like whenever we're having anyof those mirrors of energy.
Yeah, it shifts physically in our bodies.
Meghan (41:11):
It's the heat of the sun and the brightness of the sun is
definitely something that has alwaysbeen one of those things for me.
Yeah, yeah, I, I havethis, I have this vision.
As soon as someone says he, like,as soon as you said that a vision
of this one time and space.
And I remember just turning aroundtowards the sun and just like
(41:35):
closing my eyes and standing there.
With that heat of the sun, just like.
beaming on me and uh, beautiful.
What has been one of the mostsurprising connections you've
made along your journey?
Sara (41:53):
Oh, that's a, that's an interesting question.
So I think for me, It really has comedown to that our body has the capability
to self heal and, and to reorganize.
Um, my medical journey was like veryfrustrating, like so many of us have
where, you know, I was having differentissues in different parts of my body.
(42:15):
So going to all of these differentdoctors and everyone saying
everything is not connected.
But when we live in this oneorganism, it's all connected.
And so, sort of like, you know, aftersomeone prescribed me a medication
that I went to get filled out atthe pharmacy and the pharmacist
looked at me and said, really, areyou sure they give this to horses?
(42:38):
And I looked at him and I was like, huh?
And I, nope.
And that was like a, like aweird energetic moment for me
where I was like, I'm done.
No thanks, like I'm, I'm done being inthese conversations with these doctors
that are saying, I'm not, you know, Ihave some weird wrist disease and you'll
never have full mobility and you havethis thing and this you're never gonna
meh meh meh and all of the things.
(42:59):
No, no, our bodies have an amazinginnate capacity and intelligence.
And through my somatic work and someother energetic work that I did, I
started to really tap into this wisdomand invite in and bring in healing.
And I do, in some ways, you know,my falls are these opportunities
again for me to be in myself healing.
(43:22):
Um, you know, and.
So is it time to teach it?
Probably, because I just keepgetting, getting that in my face.
But you know, the bottom line is thatwhen we learn how our body works, when
we learn how to harness the cycles ofthe nervous system, we can really, really
access our innate potential and forhealing, but also for any, for anything.
(43:47):
And that's, that's pretty amazing.
Meghan (43:51):
I'm so much more a believer of all of that over the last few
years of all the different things.
Um, cause yeah, everyone probablyhas a story about, you know, Western
medicine versus like our own intuition.
And I would even sayin motherhood as well.
That was a huge, a huge, um, beginningfor me of really understanding intuition,
(44:19):
you know, like the mother's intuition.
Um, but I would also say women'sintuition with that as well.
And not that men don't have theirown intuition, but, um, I do
feel that it's a lot different.
It
Sara (44:35):
is different.
It's, it comes and I, Youknow, my husband, I have this
conversation all the time.
His information comes in differentlythan, than mine, you know,
and, and it's, it's different.
Meghan (44:45):
Yeah, exactly.
Um, one of the other things, um, thatI'd love to touch on is overcoming
imposter syndrome, like in, insomatics and in nervous system.
Um, what is, what is, Because
(45:05):
imposter syndrome, especially nowwith social media, and you brought
up, you know, when you're lookingat something and, and you might feel
jealousy, you know, for me, sometimesit feels like more, not so much
jealous, but it feels like, Who am I?
(45:27):
Right.
To do not only what I'm tryingto do, but then to also match,
because that's the vision.
Do you know what I, do youunderstand what I mean?
Yes, I do.
Yeah.
Sara (45:38):
Yeah.
And so speaking to imposter syndromea little bit, is that, yeah.
Yeah, so I, I think there's a few thingsthat happen with imposter syndrome.
I think particularly like in, in theUnited States, if you're living in the
United States and listening, like, youknow, we, um, don't like to be a beginner.
We think that we just have to begreat at stuff right off the bat.
(46:00):
And then if we're not, there'ssomething wrong with us.
And so there is a piece of this too, like,allowing yourself, if you're starting
something or it's new, to like, giveyourself permission to, you know, be in
the learning of it, and that is, that,you're not being an imposter, you're,
owning the stage of where you're atand making your offers from that place
(46:23):
of this is new and this is importantand I'm offering from that place.
So there's sort of like that category.
And then for those of us who've beendoing work for a long time and do have
a mission, have a purpose, you know, arereally aligned with what we've got going
on, There are ways that we can startto, um, train our body to feel safe.
(46:49):
And comfortable in ouralignment and in our message.
And so it's, you know, there's a rootinginto faith and trust around like this
is the reason like why I'm here thatwe then can like make as a touchstone.
back to, like, whenthose feelings come up.
So a practice that I love to do, thisisn't somatic based, but, um, it's just
(47:13):
something that I find helpful, is startingan evidence bank, like on your phone,
on your notepad, like, Of clients you'vehelped, of things you're doing that,
like, have had success, of feedback thatyou've gotten, like, micro all the way
to big things, like, I mean, like, teenytiny little things, fill this list up,
(47:34):
and so that when you're in a moment ofan imposter syndrome, or like, you know,
you're going into a podcast interview,and, and you're feeling like, oh, this
is a big following, and, you know, Idon't know how I'm going to feel about
this, right, like, if you feel that,it's, you know, You know, there are
tools that you can work with with yourbody to actually settle your body and to
then pull in an imprint of confidence.
(47:57):
So there's ways that we can work withdifferent embodiments that we hold
in our posture, in our tissues, andphysically how we feel in our body.
But I love the list because it can,like, we often forget how awesome we are.
It's like, we really do.
We forget all the things that we'vedone or what we've grown or how long
(48:17):
we've been doing our business or in thething, you know, and so having it very
concretely, which does feel weird, but,and simple, but like on your phone to
just pull up at any time can be a reallybig diffuser in those like heightened
moments of second, guessing ourselves.
I love the evidence
Meghan (48:38):
bank.
I love that idea because it is true.
And as soon as you said that,I was like, yeah, we do forget.
We do.
Um, and whether it's because, youknow, we're raised to kind of be
more humble, um, it's okay to relivethose moments that you have evidence
(49:05):
Of doing something wonderful,especially when it's towards the end.
Your alignment and and what I callyour true north like when you're in
that feeling of that you are on thepath like all the things those are
those evidence pieces that you cango back to to remind you like this is
(49:26):
this is taking me that step forward.
Sara (49:29):
Absolutely.
And that's what builds confidence.
And then the other piece that I'llsay is, you can't be an imposter
because no one is like you.
Right?
We all have our own frequency.
We all have our own energy.
And so even if you're doing similar workto other people, no one is going to do it
(49:51):
your way because of the flavor, your work.
That you are bringing to your work.
So really rooting into the factthat we really are individuals.
And it's the same in nature to reflect.
There are no two species of thesame tree that are identical.
There are no two flowersthat are identical.
Like they all are slightly different.
And so we get to bring sort of that,like, um, aspect of the prism, you know,
(50:16):
I was getting this image of like, youknow, all the facets of the prism and
like, we get to shine our one facet here.
And your people will find you.
Your people will bemagnetized to that facet.
Meghan (50:30):
Which is, yes.
And that is something that I too havejust been really, really trusting in
lately, is that even, even with hostinga podcast, the right guests will find me.
The right guests Whether it's right forme, whether it's right for the audience,
(50:50):
like, you know, saying it that way, butit's just like that alignment, the energy,
the frequency, all of those things.
Um, we are, we have talkedabout so many things.
Um, just looking at the time here.
Um, I feel like we'vecovered so much ground.
(51:10):
This has been so great.
Sara (51:12):
Awesome.
Meghan (51:14):
Would you like to share what your personal favorite, um, services
or offerings are in, in what you do?
Sara (51:23):
Ah, sure.
So I offer some Matic coaching sessionsand containers with, um, folks.
And so that is an opportunity thatif you're wanting to work on shifting
patterns of behavior, being able tohold more, or you're getting sick a lot.
So a lot of what we're talking about, oryou've done a lot of therapy and you're
ready for like lasting change, that's.
(51:44):
That's sort of where I step in andI love, I love this work and I,
um, I get so jazzed up working withother, other humans, but specifically
women too, or, you know, if you'rea mom, so I homeschool my youngest.
I also have a freshman in college,which is blowing, blowing my mind a bit.
You know, working with all thosedynamics and especially if you identify
(52:05):
as highly sensitive or empathetic.
I do a lot of work on helpingpeople, um, untangle from merging.
So, like, if you feel like you take on orpick up other people's energy a lot, or
you have trouble, like, going out in biggroups because you feel like you're taking
other people's energy, I do a lot of workaround how to fortify and work with your
own nervous system so that you're, you'renot doing those things automatically.
(52:29):
Um, and then one of my favoritefavorite offerings is I have
a one on one weekend retreat.
That's a somatic healing weekend foranyone who's really wanting to go deep.
So I'm my business is all aboutcreating spaces for healing and
for integration and expansion.
And so this is a really deep diveopportunity to really Help catalyst
(52:52):
you into this next phase or a stage.
So I have a I have a couple ofclients to do them quarterly.
I have a couple of clients that do acouple times a year that sort of like
in the spring and then in the fall.
That's just sort of helpingtheir body in their system.
So those weekendsinclude hands on support.
Um, working with, um, a modality I'mtraining called the melt method, which
(53:15):
works with our connective tissue andhelps release stress from the body
and stuckness and gets rid of pain andthen intuitive exercises and things.
It's really like a co creation,which is why they're so fun.
So if you're in New England orwant to fly to the New England
area in the States, um, I am yourgal for a solo customized weekend.
Meghan (53:36):
That sounds incredible.
It really, it's on my, it's on my list.
Retreats to try like I oftendo conferences and different
types of business retreats.
Um, and that is really on my, mybucket list of different ones to go
to, because I, I do, I do realizehow important the holistic aspect of.
(54:00):
Personal but also professional way ofdoing things is, um, is there any, is
there any other topics or anything thatyou would like to bring up that maybe
we didn't get a chance to touch on?
Sara (54:14):
Let me just tune in for a second and see if there's something
else that wants to be shared.
Yeah, I think what's coming throughjust to end is that, you know, change
is possible, and sometimes we get reallystuck in feeling like we're stuck a
certain way, and especially, you know,things are very complicated right now.
Things are very hard right now.
(54:36):
It's not an easy time thatwe've chosen to be here.
on the planet.
And so when stuff is chaotic andchallenging externally and internally
in our family systems or our own bodies,um, it can feel overwhelming that
things are going to be this way forever.
And, um, I, I hope that I can be a mirrorand expander of potential and possibility
(54:56):
for anyone listening that like, you know,it gets to change, things get to change.
Like I identify was like thatperfectionist type A and, you know,
zero to 10 scale of 10 being superuber stressed out all the time.
That was me.
The 30 something years, um,and I've been able to really re
pattern my system to invite in adifferent baseline and way of being.
(55:18):
And that doesn't mean I don't get angryor I don't get stressed out, but it
means I can come out of those states.
It means I'm not living in those statesand getting stuck in those states.
Um, and so just really offeringthat as some hope for anyone
who's feeling stuck right now.
Meghan (55:35):
That's a wonderful note to close this conversation.
Thank you so much,Sarah, for being on here.
Sara (55:43):
Yeah,
Meghan (55:44):
thanks so much for having me.
It's been such a fun and like the,the timing of this conversation
really, again, there's that, likewhen it just feels like it's the
right time, the frequency, everything.
For sure.
Exactly.
And that's truly what thisconversation is about, like the
timing of it and everything.
(56:04):
So thank you so very muchfor being on the podcast.
I can't wait to share it with everybody.
Great.
Happy to have been here with you.
Thank you, Sarah.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
Thank you for joining this week's episode of Anchor Your Dreams.
I hope you enjoyed today'sconversation as much as I did.
A big thank you to our incredible guestsfor sharing their wisdom and insights.
If you resonated with today's episodeand want to explore more about
turning your dreams into reality,Be sure to subscribe to the podcast.
We have a lineup of amazing guestsand valuable content coming your way.
(56:56):
Don't forget to connectwith us on social media.
You can find us on Instagram and Facebook.
Share your thoughts, insights,and your own journey using the
hashtag anchor, your dreams.
Head over to our websiteat meganmcquillen.
com in the podcast section, where you'llfind the show notes, resources, and
information about upcoming episodes.
(57:18):
Before we wrap up, I want to express mygratitude to each and every one of you.
Your support means the worldto me, and I'm thrilled to
be on this journey with you.
Remember, anchored dreams becomegoals, anchored goals become results.
Until next time, dreambig and stay anchored.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com