053: ACEs, Trauma, and Hope: Understanding Childhood Pain and Building Resilience - Part 2 of a 4-Part Series

In this second installment of the Children First Family Law podcast’s four-part series on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), Krista welcomes her longtime friend Chris Markham. Chris opens up about his childhood in a family affected by divorce, emotional disconnection, and abuse. He also reflects on the devastating day he survived the Columbine High School shooting as a freshman, bringing to light the profound ways trauma can shape a child’s life. His willingness to share these experiences provides an intimate glimpse into how ACEs manifest in real families.

Chris recounts how parental alienation, strict limitations on contact with his father, and the instability of living with a mother struggling with substance abuse compounded the trauma of his early years. Physical abuse at the hands of a stepfather further deepened the challenges he faced. These experiences left him with a constant sense of disconnection and a drive to seek out healthier role models and mentors who could help him imagine a different future.

Despite the weight of these adversities, Chris discovered strength in discipline and community. Through martial arts, mentorship, and his own determination, he cultivated resilience that carried him beyond the instability of his upbringing. The discipline he adopted helped him counter destructive patterns and provided him with the tools to process his pain in constructive ways. His story demonstrates the critical role that supportive adults and structured environments play in helping children heal from trauma.

Today, Chris is a husband and father committed to building a stable and loving home for his family. He speaks candidly about how his past fuels his desire to break cycles of generational trauma and to model healthier relationships for his children. His journey illustrates both the risks of ACEs and the hope that comes from resilience, making this conversation an important listen for parents, professionals, and anyone striving to support children through adversity.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Growing up with divorce, emotional disconnection, and abuse in the home
• The reality of surviving the Columbine High School shooting as a freshman
• Parental alienation and its impact on a child’s relationship with both parents
• The role of substance abuse and unstable environments in shaping childhood trauma
• Physical abuse from a stepfather and the long-lasting effects of violence in the home
• How discipline and martial arts created structure and stability amid chaos
• Mentors and supportive adults stepping in when family life fell apart
• Building resilience by turning pain into strength and determination
• The ongoing work of breaking cycles of generational trauma
• Creating a healthier family legacy through fatherhood and committed relationships

Resources from this Episode

www.columbinememorial.org

www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html

my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace

www.apaf.org/our-programs/justice/free-resources/what-are-aces

www.samhsa.gov/resource/sptac/adverse-childhood-experiences-role-substance-misuse-prevention

www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 

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