054: ACEs, Trauma, and Hope: Understanding Childhood Pain and Building Resilience - Part 3 of a 4-Part Series

In this third installment of the four-part series on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), Krista continues her powerful conversation with Columbine survivor Chris Markham. While Chris has shared the trauma of his upbringing and the violence he witnessed, this episode turns toward resilience and healing. His story shows that even when children grow up with high ACEs, it is possible to build a life filled with love, family, and purpose.

Chris reflects on the role therapy played in helping him work through post-traumatic stress, anger, and grief. He explains how finding healthy outlets, such as Taekwondo, supportive relationships, and consistent guidance, helped him shift from a destructive path toward one focused on growth. Krista and Chris explore the challenges of forgiveness, the weight of intergenerational trauma, and how breaking harmful cycles can allow children to experience childhood more fully than their parents once did.

The episode also highlights how parents’ choices during divorce profoundly affect their children. Chris emphasizes that even when relationships break down, children still love both parents. Respecting that bond and avoiding toxic narratives is essential for preventing long-term emotional harm. His personal experiences reveal the lasting consequences of parental alienation and the importance of maintaining space for both parents in a child’s life.

Ultimately, Chris’s journey is both sobering and hopeful. From surviving Columbine to raising two children of his own, he demonstrates how resilience, forgiveness, and intentional parenting can overcome even the most painful beginnings. For parents, attorneys, and professionals working with families, this episode offers a meaningful reminder: trauma may shape us, but it doesn’t have to define us.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Resilience grows when children are guided toward positive relationships and safe outlets
• Forgiveness frees individuals from carrying trauma into adulthood
• Breaking intergenerational cycles allows kids to experience true childhood
• Parents must respect a child’s bond with both parents, even after divorce
• Toxic narratives create lasting damage and resentment
• Healing requires patience, consistency, and space for reconnection

Resources from this Episode

www.columbinememorial.org

www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html

my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace

www.apaf.org/our-programs/justice/free-resources/what-are-aces

https://www.samhsa.gov/resource/sptac/adverse-childhood-experiences-role-substance-misuse-prevention

www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com

All states have different laws; be sure you are checking out your state laws specifically surrounding divorce. Krista is a licensed attorney in Colorado and Wyoming but is not providing through this podcast legal advice. Please be sure to seek independent legal counsel in your area for your specific situation. 

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