April 13, 2025 • 31 mins
Now the show is over and the storylines have played out, I sat down with Awhina who wanted to share the actual reality of her experience - and everything we didn't see on TV. What she shared gives a lot more context as to why she remained on the show so long.
For more silly content from me, follow me on Instagram and TikTok as well as the @MAFSfunny page.
I also released a book last year which you can check out here if you're a reader or Audiobook streamer... it's about the other side of my life and career, but has some MAFS goss in there!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, and welcome back to The Maths Funny Podcast with
me Joshua Fox, And welcome to the first episode of
what I'm going to call The Aftermaths, where I'll sit
down with cast members one by one to unpack the season,
find out all the things they're now only able to
reveal now the show's over, and also ask them, yo,
what's next? And I hope you like the name the
after Maths, as in the after math little playing words
(00:23):
for you there, and you know, the word after math
is also defined in the Dictionary as the consequences or
after effects of a significant, unpleasant event, which sounds about
right to be honest, doesn't it. Anyway, my first sit
down was only ever going to be with the queen
of the season in my eyes, Athena. With these chats,
I'm not aiming to change anyone's minds, but what I
(00:45):
will say is, if you're one of the people who's
been saying things like why did Athena stay so long?
She's just as bad as Adrian for staying so long,
why did she change your mind? Or if you're wanted
the people who've been questioning her as a mother, which
I don't agree with, where it's been like, why would
she leave a son for so along? She never saw
a sun. I just want to say this chat will
give a lot more context to things that we didn't
(01:06):
see in TV that will answer some of those questions. Enjoy, Hello,
and welcome back to the Mathspony podcast. I'm very excited
about today's episode because I'm joined by my favorite braid
of the season.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Don't lie there.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I've been saying that on the podcast every week, so
obviously not listen.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I haven't been listening to all. I listened to your
one with my ex husband. Oh yeah, you had him
on the pod before me. To be honest, it was
quite hilarious, especially the part where he rang and I
didn't answer.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Oh yeah, cheers, cheers. Okay, right, so we we're in Sydney.
It's finally over, and you are a free woman.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I am a free woman finally.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I am so happy for you that you're now just
you've seen the light.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I saw the light a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Well you know, he saw the light. Then you went.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Lot of rose colored glasses on there. No, I I
saw some of the light.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Some Okay, well let's let's rewind and go back to
we've just watched the reunion episode. You and Adrian I
both arrived separately, and it's done for good, and then
it's done. He's kind of flipped the script on you.
Is like you never shown an interest in his business.
You called him stupid.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I mean, was I wrong there to call him stupid? No,
If I'm being very honest, throughout the experiment, I showed
so much interest in Adrian's life. He if you actually
watch back the episodes, I'm consistently wearing his Sweet Sunday's merch.
He was always caught out for very place. I did
product placement all the time, because they would recognize when
he wore it and he would get told to take
it off. They never recognized when I slipped through his
(02:50):
product on. Not only that, I told him ideas throughout
the experiment, like hey, when you bake this, let's film
the cast now so that you can have those reactions
live next. Yuh when this is all trending, I was
constantly bouncing back on.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
His business manager.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Well, you know, when I'm dating someone, I want to
show interest in everything they do. So this is the
direction he wanted to go. So it's like, if this
is his direction, I'm going to help him go full
steam ahead. That's high shot for a partner, but it
was just everything. So I did have an interest in
his business because it was for my partner in that
same kind of context. I don't think he asked me
(03:26):
once any questions about myself. And I think when you're
so giving, you naturally just think the relationship is almost
both ways because you're showing up in every way so
things work well.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
My perception is you wanted it to work so badly
that you maybe were blind to red flags and certain behaviors.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And I think with what everyone kind of forgets is
that I'm in an experiment. I'm in an environment where
I'm in these apartments with a partner that I didn't choose.
So I'm kind of there and I'm going, well, why
will we partner to get together?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
This is my part to be something there?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, there has to be something. So I'm showing up
how I would naturally for a partner. So I'm still
trying to get to know who Adrine is to his core.
He doesn't know me yet. He doesn't have to show
up as a partner yet, so I'm giving him the
benefit of the doubt to get to know me and
you know, put in the work that I'm putting in,
and like, you know, we've given up a lot to
be here. Let's let's try. And I felt like I
(04:25):
was the only one trying consistently, and it was just
really hard for me to kind of go, when do
you kind of draw the lines when there's so many
more layers than everyone else has seen, Like you've got production,
you've got other cast members like cast members, but you know,
applicants or whatever participants, You've got so many layers. And
(04:49):
also when you're that cut because I never watched the
show before, when you're that one in a relationship where
it is tumultuous, it's scary because you go to these
commitment ceremonies and you're open, you're exposing yourself to the group,
and you're opening yourself up to criticism. And everyone online's
only seeing criticism towards Adrian. What they haven't shown is
all the criticism that I also received whilst.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
In the experiment from the experts.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
The experts, from other applicants.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Oh really, yeah, what were you being criticized for? Because
you kind of gave this everything.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
So in those early few commitment ceremonies, I addressed a
few times where I didn't think Adrian I were compatible,
and I essentially had the experts, because they're not seen
behind closed doors, put that back onto me and say,
Adriane isn't showing up because I'm pushing him away by
using language like we're not compatible, I'm essentially saying you're
not good enough for me, and so why would Adrian
(05:42):
show up?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And then also I had a few of the other
girls when I brought up issues to them off camera
where I said, hey, I think I want to go
home again. I was received with that same kind of
feedback where it's like, you're not giving Adrian a chance.
Adrian's a soulful man, Adrian's given up to a lot
to be here. You should give him a chance. It's unfair.
Because X y Z left the experiment and then Elliott
(06:06):
leaving the experiment almost was like this big scary story
because you watched how much people ripped him to shreds
when he wasn't in a room to defend himself. And
now we all saw how that played out afterwards. Lauren
wasn't that great, but in that moment when Elliott wasn't there,
he got ripped to shreds. I thought, oh my god,
am I not only did I not get the love
of my life, I'm also going to be this villain,
(06:27):
this bad person for not trying.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
So it's almost in those moments you thought, actually, this
isn't gonna work you. Like Pear pressured.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Everyone, I felt peer pressured, but not only that. Like
I recognized very early on, there was a lot of
characteristics within Adrian that I would never want for a
life partner. Now, I if I saw a future with Adrian,
a real future, he would have met my son. Like
I went in there for a life partner and I
(06:56):
got a child. I got a.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Child, second child.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I got a second child. Now the issue with that
is you can blame peer pressure, and you can blame
the experts and production. When I did choose to stay,
even though there were so many layers to that decision,
I'm spending a lot of time with this man. Intimately,
we're together five days a week without the rest of
the group. We're in an apartment on top of each other. Naturally,
(07:22):
feelings are going to develop, and I did kind of develop,
like this care for Adrian, where I would keep seeing
a child do the wrong thing, and I wanted to
keep helping him, and I just I couldn't remove like
the child from the man. I kept seeing this child
who needed my help.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
And then, well, my understanding is as the season progressed
and it became clear Adrian was going to be a villain,
that you almost felt protective, right, and you're like, you're
staying more than you would have because you want to.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I was genuinely protecting him, even at that last moment
in Final Vows where everyone thinks I stayed to get laid.
I didn't even have sex that night. There was no intimacy.
We were never intimate again after that last dinner party
ever again. But I almost felt like if we stayed together,
(08:15):
they're going to show us better moments and not the
worst moments that I saw. Still in those last moments,
I was still trying to protect him.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And even so, just to go back to Valentine's Day,
when we first met at that girl's lunch and then
you obviously kind of snuck out early because Adrian was
picking you up, and I said to you, don't do it.
You said, Adrian's picking me up. Then I was like,
why are you doing this? Like I know that you're
over you owe him nothing. And I was like, I
(08:43):
can say I was like mad for you, mad at you,
but obviously I didn't know you. But I was just
upset as well that I still felt like you had
a hold of you.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I'll still I'll be very honest like at that point,
I kept our communication channel open for him, not for me,
because I knew how hard it would be for him
watching it play out, and not because he's getting a
smack to the face with reality. I it'd be hard
for him because the backlash he would receive because he
perceived himself as this big, amazing guy and he kept
(09:12):
villifying me at any turn, and I knew the reality
would smack him in the face and again silling me.
I wanted to be like, hey, are you okay? And
at Valentine's Day was a time where one hundred percent
of the audience didn't like Adrian and one hundred percent
of the audience were in support of me. So if
I was seen with Adrian, Adrian, even if I could
(09:34):
just take ten percent of that heat away from him
and then add that ten percent towards me, I could
handle that.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But then there was obviously that was February fourteen, for
now were the start of April, and now he's blocked Okay,
well yeah what changed since then?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's changed is again, like the experiment, I kept offering
this man lifelines, and it was always, you know, he
would receive that lifeline, happy, get what he wants from me,
and then a couple of days later take out his
frustrations on me. I'm not your partner anymore. I'm barely
your friend at this moment. I'm trying to establish boundaries
and you were just knocking them over. I don't have
(10:13):
to tolerate that.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It gives frustrations that you like when he's getting slammed
on the shower in the media.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, well, in the media slams him when something happens
on you know, the show that he doesn't agree with.
I'm always is outlet. It's like, this is your fault.
You've done this, You've done that. There's never any accountability.
It's never going Hey hang on a minute, I'm probably
you know I could have handled that situation differently. I'm
really sorry. It was just like the edit. You you
(10:40):
you I'm always going to be the bad guy in
Adrian's story. And I said to myself. You know what
a fine Now you're always gonna be the bad guy
in his story. You don't need him. He needs you, yes,
And he's literally offered you zero kindness from how much
support you've offered him. It's always just attack, attack, And
I don't need this, like I really don't. And at
(11:02):
one point you kind of have to be like, he's
not a child anymore, he's an adult, and I'm done.
So I blocked him on all platforms. I blocked him
that day. I blocked him, and then he added me
on Snapchat. I blocked him on Snapchat and now he's
added beyond TikTok, so I haven't mate. If I had
a LinkedIn, he probably would have added me on that.
(11:24):
But I also think another reason why this is my
naughty reason. I think I also kept the channel open.
Adrian's relentless. He's like Jackie, you know, relentless. So I
knew his frustrations would be online where he would then
kind of push his narrative, get in front of the
story and kind of paint me in a negative light
(11:47):
like he did in the experiment. No one else saw
that because it wasn't shown, but there were so many
times where I would address concerns and it would be
deflected back onto me and I would be made for
like the bad guy. And I almost felt like it
was going to happen now because I don't have a voice,
I don't have an online platform. I'm not rogue like
he is on every social media channel, uploading a million tiktoks,
(12:07):
his brother as well. So I thought, if I can
you offer him some kindness, maybe he wouldn't be attacking
my character daily. But even with the kindness towards him,
he was still attacking me. So it's like, why am
I helping this guy?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I just need to cut him off for good because he's.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Still commenting about me, his family, his sisters, his dad,
even it's fake fan pages.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I think for me watching it, it was that commitment
ceremony where someone else is on the phone, he's whispering
to you, kind of telling you what you can and
can't say, and that to me, we knew it was
a bad relationship when I wasn't a fan of aging,
but to me that was like next level. And I
was reading people to find that as coercive control, which
I personally don't know much about, having no experience of that,
But did you ever feel like he was controlling in
(12:53):
that way?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
There was so many moments throughout the experiment, almost every
dinner party, commitment ceremony where back in our room no
cameras on, where he would be like, you should say this,
and you should say that, and you shouldn't be saying that.
You're gonna look bad for saying this, You're gonna look this,
and the language Adrian would always use towards me as
when we would leave a dinner party, commitment ceremony, even
production agrees with me, your behavior in there was wrong.
(13:15):
Even production agrees no one listened to me. Even production
agrees your sister was in the wrong at friends and family,
So it was never just himself. The language he would
always use against me was like a collective like group.
He really isolated me because there were so many moments
I would leave an experience with Adrian and I would
think I'm the bad guy because he would use that
(13:36):
collective language. Now I didn't have a relationship with production,
but I always saw Adrian laughing, joking, high fiving production,
like manipulating that they were all good mates, and I
felt like I was on the outside, you know, had
them all on Instagram. I didn't have anyone on Instagram.
You know. He spoke to ex applicants. I didn't. I
(13:56):
had zero connection to this maths world. So I felt
like I was on the outside. I felt like I
was Adrian's wife, like.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Not a participant. You were like ys plus one.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, And I felt like there were so many opportunities
where I recognized poor behavior, but I was like, oh
my god, his behavior is wrong, and I'm trying to
defend myself, but they're going to make it out like
I'm the bad guy, because he was always making me
feel like I was a bad guy by the end
of it. And there was moments in the experiment where
Jamie always stood up for me. She always stood on business,
(14:28):
but it was always just Jamie. So when we would
leave a dinner party and he was definitely in the wrong,
he would leave it and go, see how only Jamie
stood up for you, because if you were in the right,
that everyone would have you were in the wrong. And
I would leave there going, well, why didn't more people
stand up for me? Then maybe I am in the wrong.
(14:48):
Maybe I am, and I would question myself because again
that collective language.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Would were essentially manipulated everywhere because producers do that to
an extent, the experts do because theyre following a storyline.
But then to have that behind the scenes in your
room when like that's a vulnerable at the very small rooms.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
It's just we had the smallest room too.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So other people had two bedroom apartments, they had like
external bathrooms they had We had the smallest room in
the experiment. I could touch my kitchen from my bed.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
That's I don't know. I feel like I had no space.
I feel like everyone just failed you in a way
that you should have had more support. You should have
had people going that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And you know the commitment ceremony where I wrote stay
and all of Australia gassed. Yeah, and it was just
like this big thing because everyone was expecting me to leave.
I actually had a therapy session during that commitment ceremony
with the private with a private therapist that and Mole
had like obviously employed to them. I we have breaks
(15:45):
in between filming, and I literally had like a therapy session.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Because you were struggling so much.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I struggled right after like I start on that couch
and I one hundred and ten percent regretted my decision.
I actually felt like in that couch that in I
was questioned more than Adrian was. It is an aired,
but I was made to feel like I was in
the wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
So instead of producing saying okay, well you can see
you're quite distressed, we can see you regret your decision.
You don't actually have to stay. That is when I
chat to the focist.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I was crying in another room, like crying in tears.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Like and this is the stuff for yous don't see
and they've been gone. Why is it fin and gone back?
Why did she at the final of ours say let's
hang out? But it's all these little things add to
that decision.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And everyone goes, well, you know what, then you were
intimate with him again afterwards, and then you and then
you guys were you know, getting along. And it's like
when you're made to feel like the bad guy, when
you're made to feel like friends and family. Your sister
could lose her job if it's edited a certain way,
because my twin sister was so worried should lose her job.
If you sit there and everyone doesn't know who to
(16:52):
kind of believe because you guys are watching it from
a outside spectrum, and you're seeing behind closed doors, but
everyone else doesn't know what's going on. It's he, she said.
And at this point, Adrian was a life for the party.
Adrian was everyone's friend. He was in the group chats,
he was facetiming everyone. I wasn't that close with everyone
at this point, and it was almost easier when he
(17:14):
and I got on. It was easier. I didn't I
didn't have this weight on my chest. I was like,
maybe just make it work a fena And then naturally
after that, I had a better time when I just
dropped every issue, stopped worrying about my needs, and just
looked at it as like something to just kind of
get through, And then it was easier. We're not being funny.
(17:39):
I know you want it the thing that make.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Me Okay, well we both need a drink, we'll just
take a second.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah, shit, this is getting deep.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Well, no, it's just And the reason I say you're
my favorite Brider is because I think it sounds stupid,
but I see a lot of what I've been through
kind of in you, where I've stayed in relationships that
I knew were not good because you think maybe that's
what you deserve or what you're worth. And I know
you came out of a fourteen year relationship straight into that,
And like when my marriage ended a few years ago,
(18:12):
I would jump into anything after that, thinking, Okay, I
can make this work. You know, I've got someone again.
And like when my marriage ended, I felt like a
failure as a person. And then I was desperate to
like fast forward to being in love with somebody else,
and I when I see you stay and stuff, Obviously,
I know you've got all these levels of manipulation from everyone,
But then I just saw a woman who just wanted.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Don't get me wrong, I love love and I love
affection like I genuinely think I shop from my partners
with all five love languages, and I'm very affectionate, Like
I will cuddle and kiss all my friends like I'm
on top of them. I'm you.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Literally, when we saw each other a second, you jumped
on it in hotel loving and everyone's looking around, like
so affectionate.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
That is me. I'm affectionate, but I will be very honest.
I didn't think Adrian deserved me within the experiment. That's
how I was able to kind of leave that experience
with kind of my head held high going. I deserved better,
but I knew better during the experiment. It was just scary.
It was really hard, and I felt like I was
(19:13):
made to feel like I was letting people down. If
I was leaving, If I left, I let people down.
There was so much layers to that, but I left going,
you know what, we can still be friends. We did
this experience together. There is a care there and there
are feelings, but those feelings never progressed past surface level.
You're watching me cry and break down, not because I've
(19:36):
got these deep feelings for Adrian. You're watching me cry
and break down because of how I'm being treated as
a human, like, even as a friend. Treating someone the
way I was getting treated sometimes it's heartbreaking. You're gonna cry.
If you're doing all these things as someone and you're
being kind and you're being intimate, you expect some level
(19:58):
of respect and just some like decency. And I was
consistently blindsided by Adrian.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
For me, the hardest thing to watch with you was
the episode with his sisters and Jasmine Chick, and to me,
that was like across the line. There was no one
could say that was entertaining to watch as Royality TV
try yeah, like and is it true that? So they
sat you down there and they all went at you
before clear was brought on to say yeah that.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Friends and family went for like five minutes, not even like.
I was already nervous about seeing them. Adrian and I
obviously off the back of a tough week where he
wrote stay and I decided to leave. I was done.
I've tried my hardest and I didn't want to be
there anymore. So walking into friends and family, I had
(20:48):
actually texted my twin sister that morning and I said,
go easy on, Adrian, if we're here, I don't need
this level of hostility. Like I'm struggling enough as it is,
Like everyone could see that I'm struggling, like I'm a
shell that day. And then I sat down and I
thought it could be nice and nice friends and family.
They're just gonna catch up. We can eat, we can
(21:11):
have a few drinks, and let's just come on like civility,
like we're grown ups. I was met with instant hostility.
It was an interrogation of the off the get go,
and afterwards when I said that that was hostile, it
was an interrogation Adrian deflected that back onto me and
made me feel like, no, clear when I were in
the wrong and we were the bad guys and we
(21:33):
attacked and our aggression was wrong and our language was wrong.
And then even when we were like in a group
dynamic that night the dinner party, he was telling everyone
his you know, warped reality. I could hear him on
the outside telling everyone his version of events. And I
do feel like a lot of people failed me that night,
(21:53):
because I think that more people should have stood up
for me in that moment.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, And I think it's not even the cast that
failed you, it's everyone involved in this show, because, as
I said, you said you went into that friends and family,
you're already feeling a bit like uneasy. You weren't enjoying it.
And they allowed those people, those free women, to just
attack you before bringing in Cleo, who was your support.
Like the production so everyone a woman who were struggling,
(22:20):
and they thought, let's throw free people who are going
to attack her. And like I didn't like people always
say like, oh that my podcast meant to be funny,
and I tried to do it, but things.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Like that, it's I cried watching that back.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I can imagine reliving it like I cried.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And I think the reason I cried is because I
when the experiment was over, I could breathe. I was happy.
But I actually left this experience going I'm the bad guy.
I genuinely did. I told Cleo, I'm gonna be made
out like the villain. I was made to feel like
the villain. So everyone else was watching it back like,
aren't you happy like your story supported Like the other
(22:58):
applicants that watched this show I won't name, but you know,
like you've got all the airtime for this, and aren't
you happy for this? And you know people saw your
point of perspective like, no, I'm not happy because as
much as it's like validating for other people, it was,
it was hard for me to watch because I was
made to feel like the bad guy in that moment,
(23:19):
and watching it back out, I was going, you weren't
the bad person, Avena, you were valid in how you felt.
You were made to feel like the bad guy. So
when you walked into that commitment ceremony and you chose
to stay even though every bone in your body didn't
want to, you stayed because you thought, I need to
change perspective on yourself because you're the bad guy in
(23:41):
this and your sisters the aggressor in this. So it
was really confronting to me to see that, No, Avena,
you were not the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
You're never the but guy.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
So that that was hard because I was.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Like, and you reckon going forward. At least you've learned
a lot about what in the next guy you date.
You know what to look for now, and you know
what red.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Flo No, because I'm going to tell you right now,
I never would have dated Adrian in my own community,
in my soil, in my friend group, in my like
he wouldn't have got past the first date.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
H Really, that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
If I met Adrian, I can appreciate when someone's attractive.
For the language you will see me use through the
experiment is chemistry, physical attraction. Chemistry, physical attractions. Chemistry, physical attraction. Now,
I love to compliment my partner. Now, if he had
any other redeeming qualities about him, you would have heard
me mention it multiple times. The only reason you only
(24:39):
hear chemistry and physical attractions because that's all he had
to him. So if I'm gonna, you know, give affirmations
to my partner. I'm not gonna lie. That's all he
had and that's not a foundation of a long term
relationship which I had just come from, and that's what
I still wanted. He's someone I would have slept with
once and not again.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, we're all about those people ever again. Okay, Well
let's I think we've spoken about Adrian enough now. Okay,
hopefully we as the Australian public can leave him behind.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, I'm i gonna say one thing though. Yes, after
this week, you know it's done on air, I will
never talk about Adrian again. Great, so this, I'm gonna
do a few podcasts this week. I'm gonna do Channel
want to interview press on Monday. That's it. You will
never hear me mention that man's name again. He's blocked
for a reason. I'm moving on with my life and
(25:36):
I will never speak of him again.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
You know, what I like about you is the fact
that everyone is now at the stage where they're planning
podcasts and fashion ranges and this and that, and last
time I spoke to you, you just went well, you know,
I'm just taking myself to a sports club and then
I'm doing a shift like Edge Care and you're like
that's all you want in your life, Like you don't
want these, you don't.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
My job's pretty awesome. I'm not gonna lie, like I
have a really great job.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
But like, to me, that's just telling the character. You're
just a nice, genuine person.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well it's I do have a good gig, and like
I'm really lucky because like I've got a really great
community behind me. I remember when I first got back home,
one of my friends cried, and this is before it
all aired, and she cried because she was like, I
just want the light back in you. And I was like, oh,
and I was like it's so telling of like the
people I'm normally around, Like people genuinely care about you,
(26:25):
and they can see things. They're not waiting for you
to spell a picture, Like how do people not see?
Like now you're watching it back, there's comments where it's
like a veenis body's rejecting her, like she's a gained
eight kilos in that experiment, but not only that inflammation
my eyes, Like there's so many things, there's so many
telling signs. And they come home and my friends recognize
it instantly, you know, Like it's just beautiful being home
(26:48):
in my community. Like I went straight back to work,
I picked my son up on the way home from
the airport. I flew home five times through the experiment.
I got a cost to myself.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Oh, they wouldn't pay for that, No, I pay for it.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Myself, and was about eight hundred every time. And I was
finally like cheap twenty four hours home each time because
weekends we got off and it was like I had
to be preapproved, so like yeah, it was like eight
hundred and fifty each time, and then like obviously ubers
to and from the airport, so it was like a
thousand dollars to see my son every That's the.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Biggest shock of the season to me. It would not
to go see yoursel Yeah, I pay for myself fucking
on the shows making tons of millions.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, like literally, and it'd be like last minute that
maybe it's a week I'm struggling, and they'd be like, hey, Pean,
you can go home this weekend.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And then they're taking a box like okay, well she
was struggling, so she's good now.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
With Well, I get that twenty four hours home and
I would almost feel like re energized, where I'd be
like Okay, maybe I can. I can do this, like
maybe I can put my big girl panties on, and
let's try again, let's reset, and.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
You might not have found a pilot, but you found Jamie.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I did think Jamie.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, I was very cute in the reunion, like all
the girls together, like.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm not gonna lie. But the reunion was amazing and
I felt like a lot of us women were very
much in our power. Yes, and we left together like
into another room and we were all just like holding
each other like we've got this. And I don't watch maths.
I don't know about previous seasons. I don't know if
previous seasons had that girl kind.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Of not so this like extent. It was more like
one or two girls together, not like the whole group.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
But it was really incredible. But what you will, what
you guys do miss out on in that episode is
while we're all outside in that other room, very much
in our element together, Adrian's the one who walks out,
and it's like, come on, girls, come back to the
dinner party. Like, come on, girls, come back to the
dinner party. I'm like, oh my fucking god. The gift
that keeps on giving. Yeah, it sounds about right, but no,
(28:50):
I am incredibly grateful for this experience. I will be honest.
At first, I had so much regrets. I wish I
never did it. I think everyone says that, But now
I'm so thankful. I think I left a really long
term relationship. Now. When I left, I felt like I
needed excitement. I feel like I'd missed out on something.
(29:11):
Like everyone had kind of.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Gone relationship your whole twenties.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
My teenageers too. I met him when I was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, so it's like you might have looked back and
fuck my best years of behind me, Like, and I
didn't do anything wild.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I was so thankful for my son because he's amazing,
but I thought I'm missing out on something. I need excitement,
I need something I need to catch up to the
rest of the world, you know, Like I don't feel
like i'd done enough. Even though I've lived this very beautiful,
incredible life, I felt like it was lacking somewhere, like
I had a hole. And then Maths fell into my
(29:41):
lap almost And I'm thankful for it because I think
a lot of people after a long term breakup, they
spend years chasing something I had three months and when
I left that experience, I was kind of like, holy fuck,
my life is so great. I'm so content. I'm so
happy in my life. I am not missing out on anything.
(30:01):
The level of excitement I over my life I have
every day because I have this beautiful community behind me
and we do different things. You know, like it is exciting.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
You've got great friends, a good job, and a son
and a.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Beautiful home and a beautiful family. Right, And I'm excited
because I'm I haven't been dating since the experiment ended,
but I'm going to start. See, I actually want to
get on the hinge.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, I want to get on and is the fun
one and you can have a fun movie your profile
and I want.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
To go on like like those dating events see single
dating events, Jamie told me, any laying people go to them.
But I'm going kind of yea like speed Day and
I've never done it, but I'm going, yeah it, why not?
Can't be worse than what I already did.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, I will look forward to catching get with you
again soon on the podcast, and hopefully you'll have a
big update for us.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Hopefully you will too be married. Maybe we'll both be
hitched together.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, you know because I speak quite haheighthly of you,
and I thing A lot of listeners don't well as
I'm gay, so often they say, Josh, you should get
with Athena.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I've seen the comments when people were writing that, and
I was like, how did these men not realize that
Josh is gay? Like they were like a feet I mean,
Josh ask her on a date, and I'm like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
If I was straight, I'll take you on the best
day the wedding. I'll just treat you like the queen
you should be.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
No, but I actually I will be honest. I think
Adrian treated me or showed up for me the best
you would in any relationship. I generally feel like I
feel like that's just Adrian, Like truly, I don't think
it's ever going to get better than that.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Okay, Well, on that note, we will cheers and end
this podcast. That's cute.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
It was cute.
Hello, and welcome back to The Maths Funny Podcast with
me Joshua Fox, And welcome to the first episode of
what I'm going to call The Aftermaths, where I'll sit
down with cast members one by one to unpack the season,
find out all the things they're now only able to
reveal now the show's over, and also ask them, yo,
what's next? And I hope you like the name the
after Maths, as in the after math little playing words
(00:23):
for you there, and you know, the word after math
is also defined in the Dictionary as the consequences or
after effects of a significant, unpleasant event, which sounds about
right to be honest, doesn't it. Anyway, my first sit
down was only ever going to be with the queen
of the season in my eyes, Athena. With these chats,
I'm not aiming to change anyone's minds, but what I
(00:45):
will say is, if you're one of the people who's
been saying things like why did Athena stay so long?
She's just as bad as Adrian for staying so long,
why did she change your mind? Or if you're wanted
the people who've been questioning her as a mother, which
I don't agree with, where it's been like, why would
she leave a son for so along? She never saw
a sun. I just want to say this chat will
give a lot more context to things that we didn't
(01:06):
see in TV that will answer some of those questions. Enjoy, Hello,
and welcome back to the Mathspony podcast. I'm very excited
about today's episode because I'm joined by my favorite braid
of the season.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Don't lie there.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I've been saying that on the podcast every week, so
obviously not listen.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I haven't been listening to all. I listened to your
one with my ex husband. Oh yeah, you had him
on the pod before me. To be honest, it was
quite hilarious, especially the part where he rang and I
didn't answer.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Oh yeah, cheers, cheers. Okay, right, so we we're in Sydney.
It's finally over, and you are a free woman.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I am a free woman finally.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I am so happy for you that you're now just
you've seen the light.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I saw the light a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Well you know, he saw the light. Then you went.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Lot of rose colored glasses on there. No, I I
saw some of the light.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Some Okay, well let's let's rewind and go back to
we've just watched the reunion episode. You and Adrian I
both arrived separately, and it's done for good, and then
it's done. He's kind of flipped the script on you.
Is like you never shown an interest in his business.
You called him stupid.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I mean, was I wrong there to call him stupid? No,
If I'm being very honest, throughout the experiment, I showed
so much interest in Adrian's life. He if you actually
watch back the episodes, I'm consistently wearing his Sweet Sunday's merch.
He was always caught out for very place. I did
product placement all the time, because they would recognize when
he wore it and he would get told to take
it off. They never recognized when I slipped through his
(02:50):
product on. Not only that, I told him ideas throughout
the experiment, like hey, when you bake this, let's film
the cast now so that you can have those reactions
live next. Yuh when this is all trending, I was
constantly bouncing back on.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
His business manager.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Well, you know, when I'm dating someone, I want to
show interest in everything they do. So this is the
direction he wanted to go. So it's like, if this
is his direction, I'm going to help him go full
steam ahead. That's high shot for a partner, but it
was just everything. So I did have an interest in
his business because it was for my partner in that
same kind of context. I don't think he asked me
(03:26):
once any questions about myself. And I think when you're
so giving, you naturally just think the relationship is almost
both ways because you're showing up in every way so
things work well.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
My perception is you wanted it to work so badly
that you maybe were blind to red flags and certain behaviors.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And I think with what everyone kind of forgets is
that I'm in an experiment. I'm in an environment where
I'm in these apartments with a partner that I didn't choose.
So I'm kind of there and I'm going, well, why
will we partner to get together?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
This is my part to be something there?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, there has to be something. So I'm showing up
how I would naturally for a partner. So I'm still
trying to get to know who Adrine is to his core.
He doesn't know me yet. He doesn't have to show
up as a partner yet, so I'm giving him the
benefit of the doubt to get to know me and
you know, put in the work that I'm putting in,
and like, you know, we've given up a lot to
be here. Let's let's try. And I felt like I
(04:25):
was the only one trying consistently, and it was just
really hard for me to kind of go, when do
you kind of draw the lines when there's so many
more layers than everyone else has seen, Like you've got production,
you've got other cast members like cast members, but you know,
applicants or whatever participants, You've got so many layers. And
(04:49):
also when you're that cut because I never watched the
show before, when you're that one in a relationship where
it is tumultuous, it's scary because you go to these
commitment ceremonies and you're open, you're exposing yourself to the group,
and you're opening yourself up to criticism. And everyone online's
only seeing criticism towards Adrian. What they haven't shown is
all the criticism that I also received whilst.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
In the experiment from the experts.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
The experts, from other applicants.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Oh really, yeah, what were you being criticized for? Because
you kind of gave this everything.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
So in those early few commitment ceremonies, I addressed a
few times where I didn't think Adrian I were compatible,
and I essentially had the experts, because they're not seen
behind closed doors, put that back onto me and say,
Adriane isn't showing up because I'm pushing him away by
using language like we're not compatible, I'm essentially saying you're
not good enough for me, and so why would Adrian
(05:42):
show up?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And then also I had a few of the other
girls when I brought up issues to them off camera
where I said, hey, I think I want to go
home again. I was received with that same kind of
feedback where it's like, you're not giving Adrian a chance.
Adrian's a soulful man, Adrian's given up to a lot
to be here. You should give him a chance. It's unfair.
Because X y Z left the experiment and then Elliott
(06:06):
leaving the experiment almost was like this big scary story
because you watched how much people ripped him to shreds
when he wasn't in a room to defend himself. And
now we all saw how that played out afterwards. Lauren
wasn't that great, but in that moment when Elliott wasn't there,
he got ripped to shreds. I thought, oh my god,
am I not only did I not get the love
of my life, I'm also going to be this villain,
(06:27):
this bad person for not trying.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
So it's almost in those moments you thought, actually, this
isn't gonna work you. Like Pear pressured.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Everyone, I felt peer pressured, but not only that. Like
I recognized very early on, there was a lot of
characteristics within Adrian that I would never want for a
life partner. Now, I if I saw a future with Adrian,
a real future, he would have met my son. Like
I went in there for a life partner and I
(06:56):
got a child. I got a.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Child, second child.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I got a second child. Now the issue with that
is you can blame peer pressure, and you can blame
the experts and production. When I did choose to stay,
even though there were so many layers to that decision,
I'm spending a lot of time with this man. Intimately,
we're together five days a week without the rest of
the group. We're in an apartment on top of each other. Naturally,
(07:22):
feelings are going to develop, and I did kind of develop,
like this care for Adrian, where I would keep seeing
a child do the wrong thing, and I wanted to
keep helping him, and I just I couldn't remove like
the child from the man. I kept seeing this child
who needed my help.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
And then, well, my understanding is as the season progressed
and it became clear Adrian was going to be a villain,
that you almost felt protective, right, and you're like, you're
staying more than you would have because you want to.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I was genuinely protecting him, even at that last moment
in Final Vows where everyone thinks I stayed to get laid.
I didn't even have sex that night. There was no intimacy.
We were never intimate again after that last dinner party
ever again. But I almost felt like if we stayed together,
(08:15):
they're going to show us better moments and not the
worst moments that I saw. Still in those last moments,
I was still trying to protect him.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And even so, just to go back to Valentine's Day,
when we first met at that girl's lunch and then
you obviously kind of snuck out early because Adrian was
picking you up, and I said to you, don't do it.
You said, Adrian's picking me up. Then I was like,
why are you doing this? Like I know that you're
over you owe him nothing. And I was like, I
(08:43):
can say I was like mad for you, mad at you,
but obviously I didn't know you. But I was just
upset as well that I still felt like you had
a hold of you.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I'll still I'll be very honest like at that point,
I kept our communication channel open for him, not for me,
because I knew how hard it would be for him
watching it play out, and not because he's getting a
smack to the face with reality. I it'd be hard
for him because the backlash he would receive because he
perceived himself as this big, amazing guy and he kept
(09:12):
villifying me at any turn, and I knew the reality
would smack him in the face and again silling me.
I wanted to be like, hey, are you okay? And
at Valentine's Day was a time where one hundred percent
of the audience didn't like Adrian and one hundred percent
of the audience were in support of me. So if
I was seen with Adrian, Adrian, even if I could
(09:34):
just take ten percent of that heat away from him
and then add that ten percent towards me, I could
handle that.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But then there was obviously that was February fourteen, for
now were the start of April, and now he's blocked Okay,
well yeah what changed since then?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's changed is again, like the experiment, I kept offering
this man lifelines, and it was always, you know, he
would receive that lifeline, happy, get what he wants from me,
and then a couple of days later take out his
frustrations on me. I'm not your partner anymore. I'm barely
your friend at this moment. I'm trying to establish boundaries
and you were just knocking them over. I don't have
(10:13):
to tolerate that.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It gives frustrations that you like when he's getting slammed
on the shower in the media.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, well, in the media slams him when something happens
on you know, the show that he doesn't agree with.
I'm always is outlet. It's like, this is your fault.
You've done this, You've done that. There's never any accountability.
It's never going Hey hang on a minute, I'm probably
you know I could have handled that situation differently. I'm
really sorry. It was just like the edit. You you
(10:40):
you I'm always going to be the bad guy in
Adrian's story. And I said to myself. You know what
a fine Now you're always gonna be the bad guy
in his story. You don't need him. He needs you, yes,
And he's literally offered you zero kindness from how much
support you've offered him. It's always just attack, attack, And
I don't need this, like I really don't. And at
(11:02):
one point you kind of have to be like, he's
not a child anymore, he's an adult, and I'm done.
So I blocked him on all platforms. I blocked him
that day. I blocked him, and then he added me
on Snapchat. I blocked him on Snapchat and now he's
added beyond TikTok, so I haven't mate. If I had
a LinkedIn, he probably would have added me on that.
(11:24):
But I also think another reason why this is my
naughty reason. I think I also kept the channel open.
Adrian's relentless. He's like Jackie, you know, relentless. So I
knew his frustrations would be online where he would then
kind of push his narrative, get in front of the
story and kind of paint me in a negative light
(11:47):
like he did in the experiment. No one else saw
that because it wasn't shown, but there were so many
times where I would address concerns and it would be
deflected back onto me and I would be made for
like the bad guy. And I almost felt like it
was going to happen now because I don't have a voice,
I don't have an online platform. I'm not rogue like
he is on every social media channel, uploading a million tiktoks,
(12:07):
his brother as well. So I thought, if I can
you offer him some kindness, maybe he wouldn't be attacking
my character daily. But even with the kindness towards him,
he was still attacking me. So it's like, why am
I helping this guy?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I just need to cut him off for good because he's.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Still commenting about me, his family, his sisters, his dad,
even it's fake fan pages.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
I think for me watching it, it was that commitment
ceremony where someone else is on the phone, he's whispering
to you, kind of telling you what you can and
can't say, and that to me, we knew it was
a bad relationship when I wasn't a fan of aging,
but to me that was like next level. And I
was reading people to find that as coercive control, which
I personally don't know much about, having no experience of that,
But did you ever feel like he was controlling in
(12:53):
that way?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
There was so many moments throughout the experiment, almost every
dinner party, commitment ceremony where back in our room no
cameras on, where he would be like, you should say this,
and you should say that, and you shouldn't be saying that.
You're gonna look bad for saying this, You're gonna look this,
and the language Adrian would always use towards me as
when we would leave a dinner party, commitment ceremony, even
production agrees with me, your behavior in there was wrong.
(13:15):
Even production agrees no one listened to me. Even production
agrees your sister was in the wrong at friends and family,
So it was never just himself. The language he would
always use against me was like a collective like group.
He really isolated me because there were so many moments
I would leave an experience with Adrian and I would
think I'm the bad guy because he would use that
(13:36):
collective language. Now I didn't have a relationship with production,
but I always saw Adrian laughing, joking, high fiving production,
like manipulating that they were all good mates, and I
felt like I was on the outside, you know, had
them all on Instagram. I didn't have anyone on Instagram.
You know. He spoke to ex applicants. I didn't. I
(13:56):
had zero connection to this maths world. So I felt
like I was on the outside. I felt like I
was Adrian's wife, like.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Not a participant. You were like ys plus one.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, And I felt like there were so many opportunities
where I recognized poor behavior, but I was like, oh
my god, his behavior is wrong, and I'm trying to
defend myself, but they're going to make it out like
I'm the bad guy, because he was always making me
feel like I was a bad guy by the end
of it. And there was moments in the experiment where
Jamie always stood up for me. She always stood on business,
(14:28):
but it was always just Jamie. So when we would
leave a dinner party and he was definitely in the wrong,
he would leave it and go, see how only Jamie
stood up for you, because if you were in the right,
that everyone would have you were in the wrong. And
I would leave there going, well, why didn't more people
stand up for me? Then maybe I am in the wrong.
(14:48):
Maybe I am, and I would question myself because again
that collective language.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Would were essentially manipulated everywhere because producers do that to
an extent, the experts do because theyre following a storyline.
But then to have that behind the scenes in your
room when like that's a vulnerable at the very small rooms.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
It's just we had the smallest room too.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
So other people had two bedroom apartments, they had like
external bathrooms they had We had the smallest room in
the experiment. I could touch my kitchen from my bed.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
That's I don't know. I feel like I had no space.
I feel like everyone just failed you in a way
that you should have had more support. You should have
had people going that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And you know the commitment ceremony where I wrote stay
and all of Australia gassed. Yeah, and it was just
like this big thing because everyone was expecting me to leave.
I actually had a therapy session during that commitment ceremony
with the private with a private therapist that and Mole
had like obviously employed to them. I we have breaks
(15:45):
in between filming, and I literally had like a therapy session.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Because you were struggling so much.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I struggled right after like I start on that couch
and I one hundred and ten percent regretted my decision.
I actually felt like in that couch that in I
was questioned more than Adrian was. It is an aired,
but I was made to feel like I was in
the wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
So instead of producing saying okay, well you can see
you're quite distressed, we can see you regret your decision.
You don't actually have to stay. That is when I
chat to the focist.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I was crying in another room, like crying in tears.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Like and this is the stuff for yous don't see
and they've been gone. Why is it fin and gone back?
Why did she at the final of ours say let's
hang out? But it's all these little things add to
that decision.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And everyone goes, well, you know what, then you were
intimate with him again afterwards, and then you and then
you guys were you know, getting along. And it's like
when you're made to feel like the bad guy, when
you're made to feel like friends and family. Your sister
could lose her job if it's edited a certain way,
because my twin sister was so worried should lose her job.
If you sit there and everyone doesn't know who to
(16:52):
kind of believe because you guys are watching it from
a outside spectrum, and you're seeing behind closed doors, but
everyone else doesn't know what's going on. It's he, she said.
And at this point, Adrian was a life for the party.
Adrian was everyone's friend. He was in the group chats,
he was facetiming everyone. I wasn't that close with everyone
at this point, and it was almost easier when he
(17:14):
and I got on. It was easier. I didn't I
didn't have this weight on my chest. I was like,
maybe just make it work a fena And then naturally
after that, I had a better time when I just
dropped every issue, stopped worrying about my needs, and just
looked at it as like something to just kind of
get through, And then it was easier. We're not being funny.
(17:39):
I know you want it the thing that make.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Me Okay, well we both need a drink, we'll just
take a second.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah, shit, this is getting deep.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Well, no, it's just And the reason I say you're
my favorite Brider is because I think it sounds stupid,
but I see a lot of what I've been through
kind of in you, where I've stayed in relationships that
I knew were not good because you think maybe that's
what you deserve or what you're worth. And I know
you came out of a fourteen year relationship straight into that,
And like when my marriage ended a few years ago,
(18:12):
I would jump into anything after that, thinking, Okay, I
can make this work. You know, I've got someone again.
And like when my marriage ended, I felt like a
failure as a person. And then I was desperate to
like fast forward to being in love with somebody else,
and I when I see you stay and stuff, Obviously,
I know you've got all these levels of manipulation from everyone,
But then I just saw a woman who just wanted.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Don't get me wrong, I love love and I love
affection like I genuinely think I shop from my partners
with all five love languages, and I'm very affectionate, Like
I will cuddle and kiss all my friends like I'm
on top of them. I'm you.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Literally, when we saw each other a second, you jumped
on it in hotel loving and everyone's looking around, like
so affectionate.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
That is me. I'm affectionate, but I will be very honest.
I didn't think Adrian deserved me within the experiment. That's
how I was able to kind of leave that experience
with kind of my head held high going. I deserved better,
but I knew better during the experiment. It was just scary.
It was really hard, and I felt like I was
(19:13):
made to feel like I was letting people down. If
I was leaving, If I left, I let people down.
There was so much layers to that, but I left going,
you know what, we can still be friends. We did
this experience together. There is a care there and there
are feelings, but those feelings never progressed past surface level.
You're watching me cry and break down, not because I've
(19:36):
got these deep feelings for Adrian. You're watching me cry
and break down because of how I'm being treated as
a human, like, even as a friend. Treating someone the
way I was getting treated sometimes it's heartbreaking. You're gonna cry.
If you're doing all these things as someone and you're
being kind and you're being intimate, you expect some level
(19:58):
of respect and just some like decency. And I was
consistently blindsided by Adrian.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
For me, the hardest thing to watch with you was
the episode with his sisters and Jasmine Chick, and to me,
that was like across the line. There was no one
could say that was entertaining to watch as Royality TV
try yeah, like and is it true that? So they
sat you down there and they all went at you
before clear was brought on to say yeah that.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Friends and family went for like five minutes, not even like.
I was already nervous about seeing them. Adrian and I
obviously off the back of a tough week where he
wrote stay and I decided to leave. I was done.
I've tried my hardest and I didn't want to be
there anymore. So walking into friends and family, I had
(20:48):
actually texted my twin sister that morning and I said,
go easy on, Adrian, if we're here, I don't need
this level of hostility. Like I'm struggling enough as it is,
Like everyone could see that I'm struggling, like I'm a
shell that day. And then I sat down and I
thought it could be nice and nice friends and family.
They're just gonna catch up. We can eat, we can
(21:11):
have a few drinks, and let's just come on like civility,
like we're grown ups. I was met with instant hostility.
It was an interrogation of the off the get go,
and afterwards when I said that that was hostile, it
was an interrogation Adrian deflected that back onto me and
made me feel like, no, clear when I were in
the wrong and we were the bad guys and we
(21:33):
attacked and our aggression was wrong and our language was wrong.
And then even when we were like in a group
dynamic that night the dinner party, he was telling everyone
his you know, warped reality. I could hear him on
the outside telling everyone his version of events. And I
do feel like a lot of people failed me that night,
(21:53):
because I think that more people should have stood up
for me in that moment.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, And I think it's not even the cast that
failed you, it's everyone involved in this show, because, as
I said, you said you went into that friends and family,
you're already feeling a bit like uneasy. You weren't enjoying it.
And they allowed those people, those free women, to just
attack you before bringing in Cleo, who was your support.
Like the production so everyone a woman who were struggling,
(22:20):
and they thought, let's throw free people who are going
to attack her. And like I didn't like people always
say like, oh that my podcast meant to be funny,
and I tried to do it, but things.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Like that, it's I cried watching that back.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I can imagine reliving it like I cried.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And I think the reason I cried is because I
when the experiment was over, I could breathe. I was happy.
But I actually left this experience going I'm the bad guy.
I genuinely did. I told Cleo, I'm gonna be made
out like the villain. I was made to feel like
the villain. So everyone else was watching it back like,
aren't you happy like your story supported Like the other
(22:58):
applicants that watched this show I won't name, but you know,
like you've got all the airtime for this, and aren't
you happy for this? And you know people saw your
point of perspective like, no, I'm not happy because as
much as it's like validating for other people, it was,
it was hard for me to watch because I was
made to feel like the bad guy in that moment,
(23:19):
and watching it back out, I was going, you weren't
the bad person, Avena, you were valid in how you felt.
You were made to feel like the bad guy. So
when you walked into that commitment ceremony and you chose
to stay even though every bone in your body didn't
want to, you stayed because you thought, I need to
change perspective on yourself because you're the bad guy in
(23:41):
this and your sisters the aggressor in this. So it
was really confronting to me to see that, No, Avena,
you were not the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
You're never the but guy.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
So that that was hard because I was.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Like, and you reckon going forward. At least you've learned
a lot about what in the next guy you date.
You know what to look for now, and you know
what red.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Flo No, because I'm going to tell you right now,
I never would have dated Adrian in my own community,
in my soil, in my friend group, in my like
he wouldn't have got past the first date.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
H Really, that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
If I met Adrian, I can appreciate when someone's attractive.
For the language you will see me use through the
experiment is chemistry, physical attraction. Chemistry, physical attractions. Chemistry, physical attraction. Now,
I love to compliment my partner. Now, if he had
any other redeeming qualities about him, you would have heard
me mention it multiple times. The only reason you only
(24:39):
hear chemistry and physical attractions because that's all he had
to him. So if I'm gonna, you know, give affirmations
to my partner. I'm not gonna lie. That's all he
had and that's not a foundation of a long term
relationship which I had just come from, and that's what
I still wanted. He's someone I would have slept with
once and not again.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, we're all about those people ever again. Okay, Well
let's I think we've spoken about Adrian enough now. Okay,
hopefully we as the Australian public can leave him behind.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, I'm i gonna say one thing though. Yes, after
this week, you know it's done on air, I will
never talk about Adrian again. Great, so this, I'm gonna
do a few podcasts this week. I'm gonna do Channel
want to interview press on Monday. That's it. You will
never hear me mention that man's name again. He's blocked
for a reason. I'm moving on with my life and
(25:36):
I will never speak of him again.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
You know, what I like about you is the fact
that everyone is now at the stage where they're planning
podcasts and fashion ranges and this and that, and last
time I spoke to you, you just went well, you know,
I'm just taking myself to a sports club and then
I'm doing a shift like Edge Care and you're like
that's all you want in your life, Like you don't
want these, you don't.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
My job's pretty awesome. I'm not gonna lie, like I
have a really great job.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
But like, to me, that's just telling the character. You're
just a nice, genuine person.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well it's I do have a good gig, and like
I'm really lucky because like I've got a really great
community behind me. I remember when I first got back home,
one of my friends cried, and this is before it
all aired, and she cried because she was like, I
just want the light back in you. And I was like, oh,
and I was like it's so telling of like the
people I'm normally around, Like people genuinely care about you,
(26:25):
and they can see things. They're not waiting for you
to spell a picture, Like how do people not see?
Like now you're watching it back, there's comments where it's
like a veenis body's rejecting her, like she's a gained
eight kilos in that experiment, but not only that inflammation
my eyes, Like there's so many things, there's so many
telling signs. And they come home and my friends recognize
it instantly, you know, Like it's just beautiful being home
(26:48):
in my community. Like I went straight back to work,
I picked my son up on the way home from
the airport. I flew home five times through the experiment.
I got a cost to myself.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Oh, they wouldn't pay for that, No, I pay for it.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Myself, and was about eight hundred every time. And I was
finally like cheap twenty four hours home each time because
weekends we got off and it was like I had
to be preapproved, so like yeah, it was like eight
hundred and fifty each time, and then like obviously ubers
to and from the airport, so it was like a
thousand dollars to see my son every That's the.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Biggest shock of the season to me. It would not
to go see yoursel Yeah, I pay for myself fucking
on the shows making tons of millions.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, like literally, and it'd be like last minute that
maybe it's a week I'm struggling, and they'd be like, hey, Pean,
you can go home this weekend.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And then they're taking a box like okay, well she
was struggling, so she's good now.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
With Well, I get that twenty four hours home and
I would almost feel like re energized, where I'd be
like Okay, maybe I can. I can do this, like
maybe I can put my big girl panties on, and
let's try again, let's reset, and.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
You might not have found a pilot, but you found Jamie.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I did think Jamie.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, I was very cute in the reunion, like all
the girls together, like.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm not gonna lie. But the reunion was amazing and
I felt like a lot of us women were very
much in our power. Yes, and we left together like
into another room and we were all just like holding
each other like we've got this. And I don't watch maths.
I don't know about previous seasons. I don't know if
previous seasons had that girl kind.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Of not so this like extent. It was more like
one or two girls together, not like the whole group.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
But it was really incredible. But what you will, what
you guys do miss out on in that episode is
while we're all outside in that other room, very much
in our element together, Adrian's the one who walks out,
and it's like, come on, girls, come back to the
dinner party. Like, come on, girls, come back to the
dinner party. I'm like, oh my fucking god. The gift
that keeps on giving. Yeah, it sounds about right, but no,
(28:50):
I am incredibly grateful for this experience. I will be honest.
At first, I had so much regrets. I wish I
never did it. I think everyone says that, But now
I'm so thankful. I think I left a really long
term relationship. Now. When I left, I felt like I
needed excitement. I feel like I'd missed out on something.
(29:11):
Like everyone had kind of.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Gone relationship your whole twenties.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
My teenageers too. I met him when I was fifteen.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, so it's like you might have looked back and
fuck my best years of behind me, Like, and I
didn't do anything wild.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I was so thankful for my son because he's amazing,
but I thought I'm missing out on something. I need excitement,
I need something I need to catch up to the
rest of the world, you know, Like I don't feel
like i'd done enough. Even though I've lived this very beautiful,
incredible life, I felt like it was lacking somewhere, like
I had a hole. And then Maths fell into my
(29:41):
lap almost And I'm thankful for it because I think
a lot of people after a long term breakup, they
spend years chasing something I had three months and when
I left that experience, I was kind of like, holy fuck,
my life is so great. I'm so content. I'm so
happy in my life. I am not missing out on anything.
(30:01):
The level of excitement I over my life I have
every day because I have this beautiful community behind me
and we do different things. You know, like it is exciting.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
You've got great friends, a good job, and a son
and a.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Beautiful home and a beautiful family. Right, And I'm excited
because I'm I haven't been dating since the experiment ended,
but I'm going to start. See, I actually want to
get on the hinge.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, I want to get on and is the fun
one and you can have a fun movie your profile
and I want.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
To go on like like those dating events see single
dating events, Jamie told me, any laying people go to them.
But I'm going kind of yea like speed Day and
I've never done it, but I'm going, yeah it, why not?
Can't be worse than what I already did.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, I will look forward to catching get with you
again soon on the podcast, and hopefully you'll have a
big update for us.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Hopefully you will too be married. Maybe we'll both be
hitched together.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay, you know because I speak quite haheighthly of you,
and I thing A lot of listeners don't well as
I'm gay, so often they say, Josh, you should get
with Athena.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I've seen the comments when people were writing that, and
I was like, how did these men not realize that
Josh is gay? Like they were like a feet I mean,
Josh ask her on a date, and I'm like, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
If I was straight, I'll take you on the best
day the wedding. I'll just treat you like the queen
you should be.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
No, but I actually I will be honest. I think
Adrian treated me or showed up for me the best
you would in any relationship. I generally feel like I
feel like that's just Adrian, Like truly, I don't think
it's ever going to get better than that.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Okay, Well, on that note, we will cheers and end
this podcast. That's cute.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
It was cute.
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