March 13, 2025 • 31 mins
Beloved Kingdom-Minded Momma,
Have you ever heard yourself say, "I just need more CONFIDENCE?"
Do you wish God would have given you an extra portion of confidence?
Well, my Mom Mentor friend Kimberly Wright has something to say about that and you are going to want to lean into her wisdom and insight.
Growing up in a toxic home, Kimberly had some choices to make as an adult and raising her own children. Her grandma gave her the best advice, wisdom that carried HOPE:
"You have two chances to have a family in your life. The one you're born into and the one you create. So you get to create the family you want. And that was just the richest advice."
So Kimberly set out on a journey to create a family that thrived.
In this powerful episode, Kimberly Wright—a National Mother of the Year (wait until you hear THIS story) , author, speaker, and leadership mentor—and I talk about what it really takes to thrive as a busy Christian working mom.
🔥 You’ll learn: ✅ Why courage matters more than confidence—and how to cultivate it daily. ✅ The real key to being fully present with your kids (even when life is overwhelming). ✅ How to set boundaries that honor both your family and your faith. ✅ The two things Kimberly instilled in her kids that made all the difference.
And SO much more! 😍
✨ Ready to go deeper? Join Misty for her FREE Align Your Life with What Matters Most Masterclass on March 20 & 21 from 12:00-1:00 PM CST! Register now at https://lead-her-ministries.myflodesk.com/gbjq9r5s5q and take the first step toward a life of peace, purpose, and presence. 💛
And remember—when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. ✨
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
you know, I can get hyper focused. 2 00:00:03,83.4927536232 --> 00:00:19,368.492753623 my husband has pointed this out to me on more than one occasion over the last few years, Unfortunately, in my early days of momhood, I didn't have someone calling my attention to the fact that I was hyper focused. 3 00:00:19,540.72002635 --> 00:00:30,550.72002635 All I wanted to do was to finish the task at hand, and I tended to block everything else out, even the voices of my kids, and now my husband. 4 00:00:30,731.401844532 --> 00:00:43,603.068511199 I remember so many times hearing in the background, Mom? Mom? Hey, Mom! Misty! Only to be shaken and awakened to the present moment. 5 00:00:43,678.735177866 --> 00:00:54,842.068511199 It's so easy to try to do it all, to focus on the task at hand and get caught in this swirl of who's yelling the loudest and what the biggest need at the moment is. 6 00:00:55,22.068511199 --> 00:01:20,415.225592213 Well, you're going to want to hang out with me and my mom mentor friend, Kimberly Wright, today because we are going to tackle and talk about the power of intentional presence and so much more Hey there, kingdom minded moms, If you are a tried and true follower of Mom2Mom Mentoring, welcome back. 7 00:01:20,705.225592213 --> 00:01:27,675.224592213 And if it's your first time to join us, I want to offer a hearty, happy welcome to you as well. 8 00:01:27,995.224592213 --> 00:01:37,455.323592213 Here on Mom2Mom Mentoring, We tackle real life struggles and embrace the joy of motherhood with faith and intention. 9 00:01:37,875.322592213 --> 00:01:40,985.32359221 Even in the not so joyful moments. 10 00:01:43,805.32359221 --> 00:01:53,415.32359221 Hey there, I'm your host, Misty, your gratitude guide, mom mentor, celebration coach, and yes, I am your dream champion. 11 00:01:53,915.32359221 --> 00:02:07,905.32259221 Now, before we dive into today's incredible conversation, I have something extra special for those of you who are longing and looking to live, lead, and love with passion and purpose. 12 00:02:08,207.59631949 --> 00:02:15,367.59631949 I want to invite you to my free virtual masterclass, Align Your Life With What Matters Most. 13 00:02:15,717.59631949 --> 00:02:23,144.26298615 It's happening March 20th and 21st from 12 o'clock PM to one central standard time. 14 00:02:23,304.26298615 --> 00:02:27,114.26298615 Yeah, grab your lunch and let's hop on this call and. 15 00:02:27,359.26298615 --> 00:02:31,39.26298615 Figure out what matters most mom to mom. 16 00:02:32,354.26298615 --> 00:02:32,754.26298615 mommentoring. 17 00:02:32,794.26298615 --> 00:02:35,630.92965282 com backslash values. 18 00:02:35,680.92965282 --> 00:02:42,530.92915282 our mom mentor friend Kimberly Wright is one woman who shines forth with wisdom and grace. 19 00:02:42,657.59581949 --> 00:02:44,857.59581949 now hang on to all those hats you wear. 20 00:02:44,990.93015282 --> 00:02:51,430.93015282 What if I told you that she was named National Mother of the Year? That's right. 21 00:02:51,950.93015282 --> 00:03:04,0.93015282 Kimberly Wright isn't just an accomplished business owner, thought leader speaker, but she is also a mom who deeply understands the challenges of raising a family. 22 00:03:04,545.93015282 --> 00:03:23,175.93015282 While balancing faith, work, and personal growth with nearly three decades as an entrepreneur and leadership mentor, Kimberly helps women like you and me develop the confidence and courage to thrive in their careers and personal lives. 23 00:03:23,249.26348615 --> 00:03:26,9.26348615 confidence is something that we all strive for. 24 00:03:26,9.26348615 --> 00:03:27,219.26348615 We desperately want. 25 00:03:27,259.26348615 --> 00:03:28,469.26348615 It feels good. 26 00:03:28,839.26348615 --> 00:03:41,626.88857311 It makes us feel more comfortable and nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, but the problem, with confidence is there's too many, external factors that can hurt confidence. 27 00:03:41,830.22290644 --> 00:04:00,833.55723978 so instead of focusing on confidence, if we focused Our energies to being courageous instead of confident Kimberly is a creator of Perception Leadership, a transformative program designed to equip female leaders with the skills they need to excel. 28 00:04:00,873.55723978 --> 00:04:03,573.55623978 she is also an accomplished author. 29 00:04:04,153.55623978 --> 00:04:14,973.55623978 She's written two books for Christian women and is currently working on a third that dives deep into the leadership principles she teaches through perception leadership. 30 00:04:15,493.55623978 --> 00:04:20,776.88957311 I'll put the link to all of Kimberly's contact information in the show notes. 31 00:04:21,86.88957311 --> 00:04:30,76.88957311 Well, today, Kimberly and I are going to talk about what she did right as a mom instead of focusing on what she did wrong. 32 00:04:30,203.55623978 --> 00:04:34,63.55623978 Trust me, you are not gonna want to miss her wisdom. 33 00:04:35,638.35227273 --> 00:04:43,108.35227273 I saw that in 2009, you were awarded Mother of the Year. 34 00:04:43,365.624 --> 00:04:45,465.624 I would love to hear more about that story. 35 00:04:46,15.624 --> 00:04:49,15.624 Wasn't that something? I never dreamed that. 36 00:04:49,375.624 --> 00:04:58,565.624 So we were living in Las Vegas, Nevada at the time and there was a lady that I knew that was on the state board of the American Mothers, Inc., 37 00:04:58,975.623 --> 00:05:26,25.626 which is a national association an organization's been around for a long, long time, and this lady in Nevada nominated me for the Nevada young mother of the year, I was selected as the Nevada young mother, which meant then I went to the national, conference and represented Nevada as the Nevada young mother you have to give a speech and interview process and you fill out essays you meet with the board and it's a two day, big event. 38 00:05:26,65.627 --> 00:05:32,825.628 the last night they announced their new young mother of the year I was selected and I was shocked. 39 00:05:33,355.628 --> 00:05:34,125.627 It was amazing. 40 00:05:34,225.628 --> 00:05:35,935.628 I think I'd lead with that. 41 00:05:35,945.628 --> 00:05:49,670.628 If I were you, what do you think set you apart? You know, I really don't know, but personally I will always believe it was just, it was just a way that God really loved on me. 42 00:05:50,50.628 --> 00:05:55,150.627 I came from a really broken home and a dysfunctional, childhood. 43 00:05:55,460.628 --> 00:06:04,120.628 My grandma was really the one stable, parents so that was always my cry to God is I just wanted a family. 44 00:06:04,120.628 --> 00:06:05,690.627 I just wanted to be a good mother. 45 00:06:06,310.628 --> 00:06:13,925.528 And it meant so much to me to be a good mom and to have the family that I never had growing up. 46 00:06:14,495.628 --> 00:06:19,55.628 And my grandma would always tell me, you have two chances to have a family in your life. 47 00:06:19,55.628 --> 00:06:21,175.628 The one you're born into and the one you create. 48 00:06:21,305.628 --> 00:06:23,495.628 So you get to create the family you want. 49 00:06:24,295.628 --> 00:06:26,355.627 And that was just the richest advice. 50 00:06:26,395.628 --> 00:06:30,575.628 I felt like just grandma had such wisdom in such simple terms. 51 00:06:31,405.628 --> 00:06:39,335.628 And so when I first got that call that, you know, I had even been nominated, I just stood in the kitchen and cried. 52 00:06:39,785.628 --> 00:06:49,155.628 Because even if I hadn't been, you know, hadn't been selected to represent Nevada I just felt like God was saying, I see you, I see you in your, in your parenting. 53 00:06:49,175.628 --> 00:06:52,445.628 I see your heart and your earnest desire. 54 00:06:52,805.627 --> 00:06:57,35.628 And so I don't think that it was because I was a better mom than anybody else. 55 00:06:57,35.628 --> 00:06:59,755.628 There was incredible women beautiful moms there. 56 00:07:00,15.628 --> 00:07:06,372.828 I just felt like it was a, the favor of God loving me in a place that, my heart needed it. 57 00:07:06,712.828 --> 00:07:14,792.828 We focus so much on what we do wrong, what did you do right as a mom? I had four, six and under. 58 00:07:15,132.828 --> 00:07:17,22.829 you know, it was a lot when they were little. 59 00:07:17,302.829 --> 00:07:20,22.829 Yeah, that is a lot for under the age of six. 60 00:07:20,22.929 --> 00:07:22,642.929 You know, I think the main thing that I did, right. 61 00:07:22,642.929 --> 00:07:23,322.929 Cause you're right. 62 00:07:23,322.929 --> 00:07:25,382.929 there's so much, Oh, I want do overs. 63 00:07:25,382.929 --> 00:07:29,952.929 And I would do this different or that different, but I think what I did right. 64 00:07:30,152.929 --> 00:07:31,746.26233333 Is I, I was present. 65 00:07:31,836.26233333 --> 00:07:50,342.2204275 I showed up, you know, neither of my parents were really present, I lived with my grandma a my parents lived in different cities hours away and so they weren't around at all for many years of my life and so that's something I always try to be as present. 66 00:07:50,672.2204275 --> 00:08:02,610.43152 I, didn't miss a game if I could help it, or a wrestling match or football or, volleyball, whatever they were, in at the time, to be present and be available for the conversations. 67 00:08:02,660.53152 --> 00:08:09,226.331575 when a young mom asks me for advice, I tell them to talk about nothing all the time. 68 00:08:09,477.027275 --> 00:08:17,522.70351583 Because if you want your kids to talk about the somethings, the big things, then you have to lay that foundation that you've talked about nothing. 69 00:08:17,522.70351583 --> 00:08:34,493.44524654 You talk about their day, you talk about their video games that bore you to tears, you talk about all the, stuff you don't understand about Halo or, Minecraft or whatever it is that they're doing do you have any other things that you did well, because that's a good one. 70 00:08:35,463.44524654 --> 00:08:46,603.44524654 I credit my husband, to this because he was as committed as I was, but when the kids were younger, We made a point we sat around the dinner table every night together it doesn't matter if you're eating sandwiches. 71 00:08:46,603.44524654 --> 00:08:48,843.44524654 It doesn't matter if you've got fast food. 72 00:08:48,843.44524654 --> 00:08:55,520.11091321 It doesn't matter if you cooked a glorious meal, whatever it was, that was a time to reconnect because as they. 73 00:08:55,570.11191321 --> 00:08:57,310.11191321 get older, get jobs and all that. 74 00:08:57,310.11191321 --> 00:08:58,600.11191321 It's harder and harder. 75 00:08:59,220.11191321 --> 00:09:02,510.11141321 there wasn't special conversation, but again, it was that presence. 76 00:09:03,340.11241321 --> 00:09:05,680.11241321 We were present and we were together. 77 00:09:06,225.11241321 --> 00:09:08,15.11241321 And I think that's invaluable. 78 00:09:08,302.48415234 --> 00:09:10,92.48415234 I did the dinner time thing too. 79 00:09:10,92.48415234 --> 00:09:19,162.48265234 when I went through my divorce I think that was our saving grace because every night, my kids knew we would be at the table. 80 00:09:19,162.48265234 --> 00:09:20,812.38315234 And sometimes that was the. 81 00:09:21,2.48315234 --> 00:09:37,92.48415234 Only time I would see my oldest daughter because she was just so hurt you recently spoke at a women's luncheon I And you defined or separated courage, confidence the two and I thought it was really interesting. 82 00:09:37,92.48415234 --> 00:09:47,4.150819 Can you give us some bullet points from that and why that would matter for us as moms? confidence is something that we all strive for. 83 00:09:47,4.150819 --> 00:09:48,214.150819 We desperately want. 84 00:09:48,254.150819 --> 00:09:49,464.150819 It feels good. 85 00:09:49,834.150819 --> 00:10:02,621.77590596 It makes us feel more comfortable and nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, but the problem, with confidence is there's too many, external factors that can hurt confidence. 86 00:10:02,875.11023929 --> 00:10:08,915.11023929 let's say we're a working mom going into a meeting and we're all confident, we're prepared, we feel good about it. 87 00:10:09,165.11023929 --> 00:10:16,735.11023929 And then we get a negative response or we don't get the response that we hoped for about our idea and we feel shot down and it hurts our confidence. 88 00:10:16,835.11023929 --> 00:10:33,31.77590596 so if we focused Our energies to being courageous instead of confident because the confidence will come as we get better at things or we master a task or a skill set, confidence is a feeling and feelings ebb and flow. 89 00:10:33,471.77590596 --> 00:10:40,838.44257263 but courage is something that we're taking action despite fear you can't have courage without fear. 90 00:10:40,913.44257263 --> 00:10:44,183.44257263 Because if you didn't feel fear, you wouldn't need courage. 91 00:10:44,563.44257263 --> 00:10:49,873.44257263 And I know you recently did a fabulous podcast about fear and how to overcome that. 92 00:10:49,903.44157263 --> 00:10:53,363.44157263 if your listeners miss that, they need to go back and listen to that. 93 00:10:53,456.77490596 --> 00:11:01,106.77390596 The courage is something that will help overcoming the fear, but it also will help us gain confidence, that we're striving for. 94 00:11:01,961.77490596 --> 00:11:03,101.77490596 Yeah, I really like that. 95 00:11:03,101.77490596 --> 00:11:09,471.77490596 I don't know if I've ever thought about confidence being a feeling, but when you said that, I'm like, yeah, it is. 96 00:11:09,551.77490596 --> 00:11:11,885.10823929 And we're always trying to get there. 97 00:11:11,885.10823929 --> 00:11:15,595.10723929 We can never get there because something's always. 98 00:11:16,930.10823929 --> 00:11:25,973.44157263 as a mom, I really wanted to be a confident mom, I wanted to parent from a place of confidence. 99 00:11:25,973.44157263 --> 00:11:29,533.44157263 Like I know what I'm doing, I was a courageous mom. 100 00:11:29,678.44157263 --> 00:11:30,378.44157263 Absolutely. 101 00:11:30,388.44157263 --> 00:11:32,558.44157263 I did it scared every day. 102 00:11:32,645.10823929 --> 00:11:33,785.10823929 so that's a win. 103 00:11:33,995.10823929 --> 00:11:39,95.10723929 that helps boost morale Hey mom, you're showing up every day. 104 00:11:39,315.10823929 --> 00:11:49,225.10823929 You're doing it today in the midst of, the flat tire or the kids being home from school again or whatever, you're doing it. 105 00:11:49,535.10823929 --> 00:11:51,315.10823929 And that takes a lot of courage. 106 00:11:51,315.10823929 --> 00:12:10,56.77390596 I think too, as moms, I mean, what you said, I hope that, um, that resonates with some mama hearts listening, that They're showing up and being courageous and doing it anyway, despite all the challenges that come up, the daily hiccups, all the things that, life throws out as the curveballs. 107 00:12:10,436.77490596 --> 00:12:18,550.10823929 And so if, moms were seeking confidence in something, what we can really put our confidence in is we're going to figure it out and do it anyway. 108 00:12:18,740.10823929 --> 00:12:20,350.10823929 We're going to show up courageously. 109 00:12:20,775.10823929 --> 00:12:21,815.10823929 We may not do it perfect. 110 00:12:21,815.10823929 --> 00:12:28,405.10823929 We may not do it well even, but we can have confidence that we are going to be present and keep, being courageous. 111 00:12:28,695.10723929 --> 00:12:31,505.10723929 I hear a lot of moms that are really struggling. 112 00:12:31,505.10723929 --> 00:12:33,245.10723929 They want to be present. 113 00:12:33,275.10723929 --> 00:12:37,95.10723929 They don't feel like they're fully present anywhere. 114 00:12:37,265.10723929 --> 00:12:52,766.34686973 because of all the demands of life what was the key for your ability to be able to be present? we hear that, that dirty word balance, and we think there's some kind of, wonderful cosmic balance to achieve, and it just doesn't exist. 115 00:12:52,973.0135364 --> 00:13:01,53.0135364 What balance really means, or being present really means, is doing what you're supposed to be doing at the time you're supposed to be doing it. 116 00:13:01,261.34686973 --> 00:13:06,808.0135364 So if it's time to be at dinner or be with your kids or help them with their homework, do that. 117 00:13:07,328.0135364 --> 00:13:08,928.0135364 Just be present in that. 118 00:13:08,938.0135364 --> 00:13:10,558.0135364 Be fully focused in that. 119 00:13:10,648.0135364 --> 00:13:16,323.0135364 If you have to answer emails or do things after the kids go to bed, then That's the time for that. 120 00:13:16,323.0135364 --> 00:13:20,613.0135364 And you'd be present in that, but being fully present when we're with our kids. 121 00:13:20,853.0135364 --> 00:13:30,133.0135364 And I'm the first to say that, I've been distracted when, having conversations with the kids and they're droning on and on about the greatest latest weapon And my mind's wandering and I'm like, uh huh. 122 00:13:30,323.0135364 --> 00:13:30,703.0135364 Uh huh. 123 00:13:30,953.0135364 --> 00:13:35,966.34686973 I totally get that, we have to give ourselves grace what I mean by being present is just. 124 00:13:36,106.34686973 --> 00:13:40,539.68020306 Doing what you're supposed to be doing when you're supposed to be doing it, and that's it. 125 00:13:41,249.68020306 --> 00:13:45,299.68020306 So I have to make a confession here when you talk about that. 126 00:13:45,719.67920306 --> 00:13:49,49.68020306 I don't know why but I feel anxiety. 127 00:13:49,259.67920306 --> 00:14:01,309.68020306 but what if the email needs to be answered right away and now with texts it's so easy now to be distracted. 128 00:14:02,524.68020306 --> 00:14:04,214.68020306 so, My mom mentor friend. 129 00:14:04,644.68020306 --> 00:14:09,624.67920306 What do we do about that? You know, I can, I guess it goes back to that. 130 00:14:09,624.67920306 --> 00:14:15,854.68020306 We have to give ourselves grace, but we also have to train ourselves because we're one person. 131 00:14:16,284.67920306 --> 00:14:19,334.68020306 We can't do everything and we can't be all too. 132 00:14:19,734.68020306 --> 00:14:20,664.68020306 To everyone. 133 00:14:21,74.68020306 --> 00:14:30,324.68120306 I used to have emails just coming in at 530, 6 o'clock and I'm, trying to get dinner and having that, I call it the five o'clock panic of like, oh, I didn't plan dinner. 134 00:14:30,324.68120306 --> 00:14:33,404.68120306 what are we going to have now? Women have a lot of responsibilities. 135 00:14:33,404.68120306 --> 00:14:34,504.68120306 It's hard because. 136 00:14:34,824.68120306 --> 00:14:38,584.68120306 We're still doing the majority of the work at home, especially if you're a single mom, you're doing all of it. 137 00:14:38,714.68120306 --> 00:14:44,564.68120306 But even if you're married and have a great husband, that helps you're still doing statistically the majority. 138 00:14:44,644.68120306 --> 00:14:55,384.68120306 I think we just, we really need to retrain ourselves because like you say, society has creeped into where now it's like texts are as you get as many of those as you do email. 139 00:14:55,464.68120306 --> 00:14:58,904.68120306 texts became the urgent, like you have to answer me right now. 140 00:14:59,219.68120306 --> 00:15:14,959.68070306 so we have to learn to set our boundaries that work for us, our mental health, because if we're overwhelmed and we're fatigued and we're worn out, we're trying to juggle all these things, we can't serve our kids the way our hearts desire to. 141 00:15:15,209.68070306 --> 00:15:18,199.68070306 I think that that's been the hardest thing. 142 00:15:18,669.68070306 --> 00:15:21,99.68070306 is to learn to set those boundaries. 143 00:15:21,679.68070306 --> 00:15:27,819.68070306 it was a gradual change that we just didn't even realize until we were inundated. 144 00:15:28,69.68070306 --> 00:15:30,849.68070306 it's safe for us to put those boundaries back in place. 145 00:15:31,269.68070306 --> 00:15:32,789.68070306 when my oldest went to college. 146 00:15:33,524.68070306 --> 00:15:41,504.68070306 I made a rule that whenever he calls, I'm answering he would call me sometimes walking to class and he'd have 10 or 15 minutes. 147 00:15:41,534.68070306 --> 00:15:47,944.68170306 if he called me at 1130 at night, because that's when he's up I answered that call. 148 00:15:48,4.68070306 --> 00:15:56,814.68270306 I He didn't do that a lot because he tried to honor mom's sleep, you sewed into those relational connections throughout your life. 149 00:15:57,324.68270306 --> 00:16:05,921.5632248 So, Kimberly, what has been the hardest season of your life? know, there's different hards. 150 00:16:06,381.5642248 --> 00:16:08,101.5652248 I speak a lot on identity. 151 00:16:08,571.5652248 --> 00:16:23,41.5642248 and this applies in, in parenting in our careers and just in general as women is where's our identity rooted I struggled with my identity being wrapped up in my children and when they were young of like. 152 00:16:23,811.5642248 --> 00:16:26,501.5642248 I had expectations for them. 153 00:16:26,531.5642248 --> 00:16:34,741.5637248 I had envisioned them playing certain sports or being passionate about this sport versus this one or whatever it was. 154 00:16:34,741.5637248 --> 00:16:42,458.221012 I mean, I had all these expectations, even little things, and it caused tension and unnecessary stress on my kids. 155 00:16:42,561.623058 --> 00:16:44,291.622058 And so I had to learn. 156 00:16:44,341.622058 --> 00:16:45,981.622058 we learn parenting as we go. 157 00:16:46,201.622058 --> 00:16:49,901.622058 there's lots of books, I don't know that there's one good manual out there for us. 158 00:16:50,811.622058 --> 00:16:52,411.622058 We have to learn it as we go. 159 00:16:53,251.621058 --> 00:17:00,691.623058 And so I think that's one of the, the biggest things with our expectations is where's our identity rooted. 160 00:17:01,561.623058 --> 00:17:06,261.622058 And it's something I still have to be intentional about. 161 00:17:07,361.622058 --> 00:17:09,521.622058 Lord, my identity is rooted in you. 162 00:17:09,588.2887246 --> 00:17:13,808.2887246 My confidence, if we want to use confidence, comes from you. 163 00:17:13,988.2887246 --> 00:17:18,488.2887246 My courage comes from you, it doesn't matter what my kids do. 164 00:17:18,624.9553913 --> 00:17:20,754.9553913 Or, what paths they take. 165 00:17:20,938.2887246 --> 00:17:23,498.2887246 It's not a reflection of my identity. 166 00:17:23,918.2887246 --> 00:17:26,278.2887246 But that's really hard to separate. 167 00:17:26,384.9553913 --> 00:17:26,864.9553913 As a mom. 168 00:17:27,201.622058 --> 00:17:30,331.622058 even as you started to say that, I was like, oh yeah. 169 00:17:30,781.622058 --> 00:17:32,911.621058 I remember as a young mom. 170 00:17:33,521.622058 --> 00:17:36,211.622058 Like, if my kids were good, that meant I was good. 171 00:17:36,401.622058 --> 00:17:37,111.622058 Exactly. 172 00:17:37,151.622058 --> 00:17:41,778.2887246 Until my third, through the worst temper tantrum in the toy store. 173 00:17:42,618.2887246 --> 00:17:51,854.9553913 And I was like, Oh, yes, it's not a reflection of me and every, every parent who has multiple kids can attest to this. 174 00:17:52,384.9543913 --> 00:17:53,794.9553913 Every child is different. 175 00:17:53,974.9543913 --> 00:17:59,584.9553913 And so my first one was so easy and so well mannered and well behaved. 176 00:17:59,584.9553913 --> 00:18:03,214.9553913 And I mean, I was like, I am the best mom ever. 177 00:18:03,664.9553913 --> 00:18:09,44.9553913 And the second one came along and I was like, Oh my gosh, I am the worst mom ever. 178 00:18:09,44.9553913 --> 00:18:11,254.9553913 And not only that, I'm the worst human being ever. 179 00:18:11,474.9553913 --> 00:18:16,554.9553913 I mean, it was just everything that the first one didn't do, the second one did. 180 00:18:17,134.9543913 --> 00:18:18,564.9543913 And it was terrible. 181 00:18:18,564.9553913 --> 00:18:33,911.6307201 how do we get from that point of realization that maybe there's some unhealthy? Going on here to walking in, a freer place of who we are. 182 00:18:34,111.6307201 --> 00:18:40,391.6297201 I really do believe prayer is the answer to so much, really to everything. 183 00:18:40,451.6307201 --> 00:18:49,811.6307201 I think that's where we have to be willing to sit before God and be willing for God to hold up a mirror to us. 184 00:18:50,591.6307201 --> 00:18:53,91.6307201 And be willing to grow and submit. 185 00:18:53,281.6307201 --> 00:18:56,481.6307201 And man, pride is a hard pill to swallow. 186 00:18:56,548.2973868 --> 00:19:01,261.6307201 It is so hard and we don't think about being prideful as a mom. 187 00:19:01,261.6307201 --> 00:19:06,521.6307201 we're trying to survive and we're trying to do it right and we want our kids to thrive and all these things. 188 00:19:06,991.6307201 --> 00:19:11,681.6302201 But really, pride was a big thing with me I wanted to be right. 189 00:19:11,971.6302201 --> 00:19:22,468.2968868 sometimes I'd be going, why am I arguing with a six year old? instead of just, no, I'm the parent and this is why, and end of story and, and be firm in it. 190 00:19:22,584.9635535 --> 00:19:23,884.9635535 but there were times. 191 00:19:24,34.9635535 --> 00:19:25,794.9635535 that I was not right. 192 00:19:25,908.2968868 --> 00:19:37,538.2968868 And I told my husband the other day, I said, I am embarrassed to tell you the number of times that I argued with my kids about something or lost my temper before school and it would just eat at me. 193 00:19:37,538.2968868 --> 00:19:41,623.1978868 I have my quiet time and I'd feel so guilty and I'd have to go up to the school. 194 00:19:42,113.2978868 --> 00:19:52,413.2978868 And I mean, literally I would go to the school and say, um, excuse me, can I talk to Seth for a minute and get them out of class and be like, I am really sorry for what I, because I was so stressed. 195 00:19:52,413.2978868 --> 00:19:56,463.2973868 I started their day off terrible And I would have to go up there and apologize. 196 00:19:56,493.2973868 --> 00:20:00,493.2973868 with four kids, you know, 12 years of school that happened. 197 00:20:01,183.2973868 --> 00:20:10,363.2973868 More than once, I wanted them to know, I don't always make the right choices or say the right things and I'm learning just like they are. 198 00:20:10,503.2973868 --> 00:20:15,208.1973868 they learned to offer me grace and I learned to give myself grace. 199 00:20:15,458.2973868 --> 00:20:21,154.9640535 you chose humility and what you modeled for your kids was amazing. 200 00:20:21,454.9640535 --> 00:20:27,488.2973868 I don't think I really learned what you're talking about probably until. 201 00:20:27,819.9640535 --> 00:20:41,216.6297201 Maybe it was even after my husband left, like true humility and brokenness and repenting over the things that I say that are hurtful we can say mean things. 202 00:20:41,216.6297201 --> 00:20:42,786.6297201 Can't we? Oh, very much. 203 00:20:43,226.6297201 --> 00:20:43,836.6297201 Very much. 204 00:20:43,906.6297201 --> 00:20:46,436.6297201 We can hurt our children's hearts. 205 00:20:47,376.6297201 --> 00:20:47,656.6297201 Yeah. 206 00:20:47,666.6297201 --> 00:20:47,896.6297201 Yeah. 207 00:20:48,376.6297201 --> 00:20:50,656.6287201 And even unintentionally for sure. 208 00:20:50,666.6297201 --> 00:20:54,676.6297201 But I mean, sometimes we're just angry and just spouting words. 209 00:20:55,26.6297201 --> 00:20:58,355.520502 My mom was very quick to anger. 210 00:20:58,880.520502 --> 00:21:02,200.520502 And she was very volatile in her words and behavior. 211 00:21:02,337.1871686 --> 00:21:12,297.1871686 so that's what I grew up with, and I knew it's not how I wanted to behave, but it also, like, I had to learn to manage my anger of losing my temper. 212 00:21:12,742.1871686 --> 00:21:19,672.1871686 I think what kept the relationship strong with my kids, despite that, is that communication. 213 00:21:19,682.1871686 --> 00:21:25,702.1871686 Like I was saying, of being present, they knew as I was showing up, they knew they could call me anytime and I'm available for them. 214 00:21:25,818.8528353 --> 00:21:30,888.8538353 And not in the bailout way, but in the support way, or just the conversation way. 215 00:21:31,138.8538353 --> 00:21:43,63.8538353 And I tried to also share with them Even from an early age, I would tell them a little about my day or what, you know, or about this person I saw at Walmart or, you know, just engage with them like a friend. 216 00:21:43,133.8538353 --> 00:21:46,33.8538353 we learn to just have conversations all the time. 217 00:21:46,633.8528353 --> 00:21:52,323.8528353 even to this day, now we just sit and chat and I, it makes me want to cry. 218 00:21:52,353.8528353 --> 00:21:53,263.8528353 I feel so blessed. 219 00:21:53,273.8528353 --> 00:21:55,373.8528353 My boys, say I'm their best friend. 220 00:21:55,373.8528353 --> 00:21:56,233.8528353 that just is. 221 00:21:56,377.1861686 --> 00:21:57,497.1861686 It chokes me up. 222 00:21:57,517.1861686 --> 00:21:58,137.1861686 It's amazing. 223 00:21:58,483.8528353 --> 00:22:11,463.8523353 But I think it's, it goes back to the conversations and the communication and the presence of they knew I was there to listen and to talk and to chat I have two adult boys living at home right now, paying rent. 224 00:22:11,463.9523353 --> 00:22:14,183.8533353 And I mean, it's pretty fabulous. 225 00:22:14,613.8533353 --> 00:22:15,343.8533353 I'm not going to lie. 226 00:22:16,223.8533353 --> 00:22:18,373.8533353 it's working well, it's working wonderfully. 227 00:22:18,773.8533353 --> 00:22:19,713.8533353 Wow. 228 00:22:19,733.8533353 --> 00:22:21,3.8533353 That's kind of cool. 229 00:22:21,433.8533353 --> 00:22:29,763.8523353 All my, all my kids, every one of them moved out and then moved back home for a season they usually didn't like to have to move back home. 230 00:22:29,823.8523353 --> 00:22:36,153.8523353 but I said, I just, think it's because there's more that God wants to do when it's time. 231 00:22:36,608.8533353 --> 00:22:37,758.8533353 It'll be time. 232 00:22:37,838.8533353 --> 00:22:39,88.8533353 You'll go for good. 233 00:22:39,168.8533353 --> 00:22:39,798.8533353 Don't worry. 234 00:22:39,848.9533353 --> 00:22:41,278.9533353 I call them boomerang kids. 235 00:22:41,338.9533353 --> 00:22:42,438.9533353 They come back. 236 00:22:42,438.9533353 --> 00:22:44,298.9533353 You know, that speaks volumes though. 237 00:22:44,348.9543353 --> 00:22:48,765.622002 that the kids felt like they, they were okay with coming back. 238 00:22:48,775.622002 --> 00:22:51,265.622002 Even if it's obviously not ideal, they want to be on their own. 239 00:22:51,275.622002 --> 00:22:53,15.622002 They want to have independence, that kind of thing. 240 00:22:53,375.622002 --> 00:23:03,910.721002 But I do know kids that They will go anywhere else but back home, they had an environment that they knew they were loved and they were welcomed to come back. 241 00:23:04,14.5350454 --> 00:23:06,808.0366759 and I think that's A blessing and a compliment. 242 00:23:07,4.7033425 --> 00:23:19,614.7103771 when you were raising kids? And I know like you're in the thick of it and you're just doing the daily, but I have a feeling you were mindful about the kind of adults that you wanted. 243 00:23:19,914.7103771 --> 00:23:21,344.7103771 when they stepped away. 244 00:23:21,604.7103771 --> 00:23:35,453.0437105 what's some of the qualities that you wanted to instill in your kids? Well, so here's my two things like I call them my soapbox things that I would die on the hill for okay You know, this is good. 245 00:23:35,453.0437105 --> 00:23:43,323.5627278 Let's hear it girl I wanted my kids to do chores and They started doing chores early, early on, and I'll tell you why. 246 00:23:43,353.5627278 --> 00:23:45,613.5627278 And then the second thing was gratitude. 247 00:23:46,133.5627278 --> 00:23:53,463.5627278 I wanted them to be grateful, no matter what, So the first one about chores, we started, having our kids do chores. 248 00:23:53,473.5627278 --> 00:23:54,953.5627278 And they were like two or three years old. 249 00:23:54,953.5627278 --> 00:23:59,883.5627278 And we would empty all the glass and anything, um, that could hurt them out of the dishwasher. 250 00:24:00,253.5627278 --> 00:24:04,63.5627278 And then they would just hand us little stuff out of the dishwasher and they would get to help. 251 00:24:04,156.8960611 --> 00:24:19,826.8955611 and every night putting away their toys into the basket I feel like that one It teaches them what it takes to keep a household running and to be a part of the team and to contribute, but it also allows them to learn a work ethic. 252 00:24:19,866.8955611 --> 00:24:35,86.8945611 we created a, we called it an opportunity chart where, we, have everything from load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, dust bust under the table after we eat, wipe down the counters, clean out the microwave, empty the trash, clean their bathrooms. 253 00:24:35,136.8955611 --> 00:24:37,246.8950611 we had it all listed out and it rotates. 254 00:24:37,246.8950611 --> 00:24:40,176.8955611 So nobody's stuck on, loading the dishwasher for all their life. 255 00:24:40,886.8955611 --> 00:24:44,446.8955611 Justin would have to read the younger kids what their chores were. 256 00:24:44,546.8955611 --> 00:24:46,746.8960611 And I get, it takes a long time. 257 00:24:47,36.8960611 --> 00:24:54,86.8960611 And so sometimes you're just in a hurry my kids into having a strong work ethic and to being productive and to being self sufficient. 258 00:24:54,154.7373655 --> 00:25:01,654.7373655 And so we knew that other than maybe paying the bills, by the time that they were a freshman in high school, they technically could have lived on their own. 259 00:25:02,354.7363655 --> 00:25:04,194.7373655 You know, they knew how to clean their toilets. 260 00:25:04,204.7363655 --> 00:25:06,484.7363655 They did their own laundry starting in middle school. 261 00:25:06,484.7363655 --> 00:25:07,784.7363655 I stopped doing their laundry. 262 00:25:07,904.7363655 --> 00:25:13,244.7353655 I would compliment them on, a job well done or their work ethic. 263 00:25:13,739.7363655 --> 00:25:16,829.7363655 Or the fact that, they did their chores without being asked. 264 00:25:16,829.7363655 --> 00:25:23,589.7353655 And, you know, and of course we went through the phase, there's attitude about it when they got to be in high school and, Oh, I don't want to do this. 265 00:25:23,639.7363655 --> 00:25:26,329.7363655 but they still did it and they knew how to do it. 266 00:25:26,679.7363655 --> 00:25:36,366.4030321 I just can't imagine having an adult child in my house that contributes absolutely nothing, I didn't want that for my kids I want my kids to thrive and to. 267 00:25:36,416.4030321 --> 00:25:37,676.4030321 live an abundant life. 268 00:25:38,136.4030321 --> 00:25:41,886.4030321 so I think that is one of the root foundations of it. 269 00:25:42,26.4030321 --> 00:25:48,366.4040321 And then, my kids know a lot about my childhood and the life that I had and how drastically different it is than theirs. 270 00:25:48,483.0716988 --> 00:25:51,333.0716988 And so I wanted them to always be grateful. 271 00:25:51,623.0716988 --> 00:25:52,643.0716988 and it can be hard. 272 00:25:52,643.0716988 --> 00:25:55,533.0716988 Sometimes we live in a really nice area in a fluent area. 273 00:25:55,533.0716988 --> 00:25:59,563.0706988 And, you know, there's things that we can afford to give our kids that we choose not to. 274 00:25:59,639.7383655 --> 00:26:01,423.0716988 so they have a hard time. 275 00:26:01,423.0716988 --> 00:26:07,603.0716988 They've had to learn to navigate and still be grateful for what they have, even when other people seem to have more. 276 00:26:07,773.0716988 --> 00:26:10,83.0716988 it has been such a core value with me. 277 00:26:10,733.0716988 --> 00:26:11,983.0716988 To ingrain that in them. 278 00:26:11,983.0716988 --> 00:26:16,163.0716988 I think they have done a pretty good job and they always say, thank you. 279 00:26:16,213.0716988 --> 00:26:20,653.0716988 I see the appreciation come from them and I'm thankful for that. 280 00:26:21,263.0716988 --> 00:26:31,73.0716988 gratitude is of course my song and dance and what it does for other people, but gosh, just what it does for our own wellbeing. 281 00:26:31,553.0716988 --> 00:26:41,323.0706988 And if we teach our children to truly be grateful and to practice gratitude, that's, giving them 10 steps ahead. 282 00:26:41,371.4040321 --> 00:26:53,11.4040321 In being resilient and being able to bounce back, maintaining joy, having a sound mind, making good decisions, being healthy, sleeping well, all kinds of wonderful things. 283 00:26:53,21.4030321 --> 00:26:54,661.4040321 it wasn't just about chores. 284 00:26:54,676.5040321 --> 00:27:06,976.4050321 And in the gratitude, it's not just about gratitude, the things that you were instilling And these were just the means to the end of what you wanted your kids to leave home with. 285 00:27:07,6.4030321 --> 00:27:14,56.4030321 when my, Two oldest were in like a middle school youth group the youth pastor asked, so who has to do chores. 286 00:27:14,56.4030321 --> 00:27:16,476.4045321 And of course, my boys raised our hand the youth pastor said. 287 00:27:16,901.4045321 --> 00:27:21,441.4045321 Well, Justin, what do you get for doing chores? He goes, I get to live in my house. 288 00:27:22,681.4045321 --> 00:27:28,598.0711988 Kimberly, you've just had some great mom wisdom to share. 289 00:27:28,703.0711988 --> 00:27:41,63.0721988 it's been fun to swap stories and, and hear the values of your heart and how you maintain those values and, raised your kids in those values. 290 00:27:41,83.0721988 --> 00:27:44,923.0721988 I do know that you are an author. 291 00:27:45,583.0731988 --> 00:28:04,321.4070321 That you are a speaker, what else do you have your hand in this season of life? I am writing my third book and I'm helping coach Christian business women who are solopreneurs or, business owners with less than 10 employees, that are looking to grow their business. 292 00:28:04,331.4070321 --> 00:28:07,491.4070321 So pretty niche down on the who. 293 00:28:07,766.4070321 --> 00:28:13,286.4070321 writing and speaking is really where my passion lies and where I feel like God's called me during the season. 294 00:28:13,286.4070321 --> 00:28:15,996.4070321 women, we are so valuable to God. 295 00:28:16,16.4070321 --> 00:28:21,376.4070321 He sees us and he loves us and he treasures us and he cherishes us. 296 00:28:21,396.4070321 --> 00:28:24,63.0736988 And it's so easy for women to forget that. 297 00:28:24,498.0736988 --> 00:28:33,378.0736988 if this were a conversation you were having with a young mom and she was getting ready to leave and you were like, wait a minute, honey, one more thing. 298 00:28:34,28.0736988 --> 00:28:37,308.0726988 I just want you to remember this one thing. 299 00:28:37,858.0736988 --> 00:28:41,744.7403655 What would that be? I would want her to know she is important. 300 00:28:41,798.0736988 --> 00:28:44,748.0736988 And so she needs to take time for herself. 301 00:28:45,278.0736988 --> 00:28:46,498.0736988 She needs to pause. 302 00:28:47,78.0736988 --> 00:28:51,438.0736988 She needs to not feel guilty we just push and go, go, go. 303 00:28:51,928.0736988 --> 00:28:59,718.0746988 you are worth caring for yourself and we want to be our best version That's every woman's desire. 304 00:28:59,718.0746988 --> 00:29:04,348.0746988 I believe that but we can't do that if we're not caring for ourselves. 305 00:29:04,458.0746988 --> 00:29:09,128.0746988 I just would encourage every mom listening to not forget herself. 306 00:29:10,68.0746988 --> 00:29:17,211.4070321 The importance of who she is and how valuable she is to God how valuable she is to her family we can't pour from it in an empty cup. 307 00:29:17,461.4080321 --> 00:29:19,881.4080321 it is very hard That's a good word. 308 00:29:19,961.4080321 --> 00:29:22,361.4070321 Thank you for hanging out with me. 309 00:29:22,911.4070321 --> 00:29:27,511.4070321 I'm such an honor It's so great to hear more of your mom journey. 310 00:29:27,511.4070321 --> 00:29:31,361.4070321 I know that there's so much we didn't get to Yeah. 311 00:29:31,391.4070321 --> 00:29:33,641.4070321 I'm just, I'm honored to be on your podcast. 312 00:29:33,651.4070321 --> 00:29:38,171.4070321 You have such a great podcast and I know several of the moms that listen and they are precious. 313 00:29:38,231.4070321 --> 00:29:47,498.0736988 So I'm honored to get to share with such a valuable audience Wow, what an incredible conversation with Kimberly Wright. 314 00:29:47,838.0736988 --> 00:29:53,348.0726988 If you're anything like me, you'll be chewing on these nuggets of wisdom for quite a while. 315 00:29:54,8.0736988 --> 00:30:07,658.0731988 From the reminder That courage matters more than confidence, to the power of being present in the moment, even if that means enduring another long winded Minecraft monologue from your kids. 316 00:30:07,804.4368352 --> 00:30:11,234.4368352 Kimberly gave us so many practical takeaways. 317 00:30:11,350.8004715 --> 00:30:14,620.8004715 Here is an action step you might consider. 318 00:30:14,752.6186534 --> 00:30:18,440.8004715 This week, pick one way to be fully present. 319 00:30:18,570.8004715 --> 00:30:29,119.8903806 Whether it's putting your phone down at dinner, listening intently to your child's story, or just slowing down to soak in a moment with your family. 320 00:30:29,176.8913806 --> 00:30:45,370.225714 And mom, if you're having trouble figuring out what it looks like or even feels like to be fully present, consider joining me on March 20th and 21st for Align Your Life With What Matters Most. 321 00:30:45,430.225714 --> 00:30:51,503.9529276 and start living in alignment with God's best for you, sign up today at momtomommentoring. 322 00:30:52,553.9529276 --> 00:30:54,873.9529276 com backslash values. 323 00:30:54,923.9529276 --> 00:31:04,68.6073749 until next time, remember to live boldly, lead with purpose, love with passion, and parent with presence. 324 00:31:04,254.5699167 --> 00:31:09,84.5699167 Remember, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. 325 00:31:09,464.5709167 --> 00:31:13,854.5709167 So, hey, let's go shine brightly together.
you know, I can get hyper focused. 2 00:00:03,83.4927536232 --> 00:00:19,368.492753623 my husband has pointed this out to me on more than one occasion over the last few years, Unfortunately, in my early days of momhood, I didn't have someone calling my attention to the fact that I was hyper focused. 3 00:00:19,540.72002635 --> 00:00:30,550.72002635 All I wanted to do was to finish the task at hand, and I tended to block everything else out, even the voices of my kids, and now my husband. 4 00:00:30,731.401844532 --> 00:00:43,603.068511199 I remember so many times hearing in the background, Mom? Mom? Hey, Mom! Misty! Only to be shaken and awakened to the present moment. 5 00:00:43,678.735177866 --> 00:00:54,842.068511199 It's so easy to try to do it all, to focus on the task at hand and get caught in this swirl of who's yelling the loudest and what the biggest need at the moment is. 6 00:00:55,22.068511199 --> 00:01:20,415.225592213 Well, you're going to want to hang out with me and my mom mentor friend, Kimberly Wright, today because we are going to tackle and talk about the power of intentional presence and so much more Hey there, kingdom minded moms, If you are a tried and true follower of Mom2Mom Mentoring, welcome back. 7 00:01:20,705.225592213 --> 00:01:27,675.224592213 And if it's your first time to join us, I want to offer a hearty, happy welcome to you as well. 8 00:01:27,995.224592213 --> 00:01:37,455.323592213 Here on Mom2Mom Mentoring, We tackle real life struggles and embrace the joy of motherhood with faith and intention. 9 00:01:37,875.322592213 --> 00:01:40,985.32359221 Even in the not so joyful moments. 10 00:01:43,805.32359221 --> 00:01:53,415.32359221 Hey there, I'm your host, Misty, your gratitude guide, mom mentor, celebration coach, and yes, I am your dream champion. 11 00:01:53,915.32359221 --> 00:02:07,905.32259221 Now, before we dive into today's incredible conversation, I have something extra special for those of you who are longing and looking to live, lead, and love with passion and purpose. 12 00:02:08,207.59631949 --> 00:02:15,367.59631949 I want to invite you to my free virtual masterclass, Align Your Life With What Matters Most. 13 00:02:15,717.59631949 --> 00:02:23,144.26298615 It's happening March 20th and 21st from 12 o'clock PM to one central standard time. 14 00:02:23,304.26298615 --> 00:02:27,114.26298615 Yeah, grab your lunch and let's hop on this call and. 15 00:02:27,359.26298615 --> 00:02:31,39.26298615 Figure out what matters most mom to mom. 16 00:02:32,354.26298615 --> 00:02:32,754.26298615 mommentoring. 17 00:02:32,794.26298615 --> 00:02:35,630.92965282 com backslash values. 18 00:02:35,680.92965282 --> 00:02:42,530.92915282 our mom mentor friend Kimberly Wright is one woman who shines forth with wisdom and grace. 19 00:02:42,657.59581949 --> 00:02:44,857.59581949 now hang on to all those hats you wear. 20 00:02:44,990.93015282 --> 00:02:51,430.93015282 What if I told you that she was named National Mother of the Year? That's right. 21 00:02:51,950.93015282 --> 00:03:04,0.93015282 Kimberly Wright isn't just an accomplished business owner, thought leader speaker, but she is also a mom who deeply understands the challenges of raising a family. 22 00:03:04,545.93015282 --> 00:03:23,175.93015282 While balancing faith, work, and personal growth with nearly three decades as an entrepreneur and leadership mentor, Kimberly helps women like you and me develop the confidence and courage to thrive in their careers and personal lives. 23 00:03:23,249.26348615 --> 00:03:26,9.26348615 confidence is something that we all strive for. 24 00:03:26,9.26348615 --> 00:03:27,219.26348615 We desperately want. 25 00:03:27,259.26348615 --> 00:03:28,469.26348615 It feels good. 26 00:03:28,839.26348615 --> 00:03:41,626.88857311 It makes us feel more comfortable and nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, but the problem, with confidence is there's too many, external factors that can hurt confidence. 27 00:03:41,830.22290644 --> 00:04:00,833.55723978 so instead of focusing on confidence, if we focused Our energies to being courageous instead of confident Kimberly is a creator of Perception Leadership, a transformative program designed to equip female leaders with the skills they need to excel. 28 00:04:00,873.55723978 --> 00:04:03,573.55623978 she is also an accomplished author. 29 00:04:04,153.55623978 --> 00:04:14,973.55623978 She's written two books for Christian women and is currently working on a third that dives deep into the leadership principles she teaches through perception leadership. 30 00:04:15,493.55623978 --> 00:04:20,776.88957311 I'll put the link to all of Kimberly's contact information in the show notes. 31 00:04:21,86.88957311 --> 00:04:30,76.88957311 Well, today, Kimberly and I are going to talk about what she did right as a mom instead of focusing on what she did wrong. 32 00:04:30,203.55623978 --> 00:04:34,63.55623978 Trust me, you are not gonna want to miss her wisdom. 33 00:04:35,638.35227273 --> 00:04:43,108.35227273 I saw that in 2009, you were awarded Mother of the Year. 34 00:04:43,365.624 --> 00:04:45,465.624 I would love to hear more about that story. 35 00:04:46,15.624 --> 00:04:49,15.624 Wasn't that something? I never dreamed that. 36 00:04:49,375.624 --> 00:04:58,565.624 So we were living in Las Vegas, Nevada at the time and there was a lady that I knew that was on the state board of the American Mothers, Inc., 37 00:04:58,975.623 --> 00:05:26,25.626 which is a national association an organization's been around for a long, long time, and this lady in Nevada nominated me for the Nevada young mother of the year, I was selected as the Nevada young mother, which meant then I went to the national, conference and represented Nevada as the Nevada young mother you have to give a speech and interview process and you fill out essays you meet with the board and it's a two day, big event. 38 00:05:26,65.627 --> 00:05:32,825.628 the last night they announced their new young mother of the year I was selected and I was shocked. 39 00:05:33,355.628 --> 00:05:34,125.627 It was amazing. 40 00:05:34,225.628 --> 00:05:35,935.628 I think I'd lead with that. 41 00:05:35,945.628 --> 00:05:49,670.628 If I were you, what do you think set you apart? You know, I really don't know, but personally I will always believe it was just, it was just a way that God really loved on me. 42 00:05:50,50.628 --> 00:05:55,150.627 I came from a really broken home and a dysfunctional, childhood. 43 00:05:55,460.628 --> 00:06:04,120.628 My grandma was really the one stable, parents so that was always my cry to God is I just wanted a family. 44 00:06:04,120.628 --> 00:06:05,690.627 I just wanted to be a good mother. 45 00:06:06,310.628 --> 00:06:13,925.528 And it meant so much to me to be a good mom and to have the family that I never had growing up. 46 00:06:14,495.628 --> 00:06:19,55.628 And my grandma would always tell me, you have two chances to have a family in your life. 47 00:06:19,55.628 --> 00:06:21,175.628 The one you're born into and the one you create. 48 00:06:21,305.628 --> 00:06:23,495.628 So you get to create the family you want. 49 00:06:24,295.628 --> 00:06:26,355.627 And that was just the richest advice. 50 00:06:26,395.628 --> 00:06:30,575.628 I felt like just grandma had such wisdom in such simple terms. 51 00:06:31,405.628 --> 00:06:39,335.628 And so when I first got that call that, you know, I had even been nominated, I just stood in the kitchen and cried. 52 00:06:39,785.628 --> 00:06:49,155.628 Because even if I hadn't been, you know, hadn't been selected to represent Nevada I just felt like God was saying, I see you, I see you in your, in your parenting. 53 00:06:49,175.628 --> 00:06:52,445.628 I see your heart and your earnest desire. 54 00:06:52,805.627 --> 00:06:57,35.628 And so I don't think that it was because I was a better mom than anybody else. 55 00:06:57,35.628 --> 00:06:59,755.628 There was incredible women beautiful moms there. 56 00:07:00,15.628 --> 00:07:06,372.828 I just felt like it was a, the favor of God loving me in a place that, my heart needed it. 57 00:07:06,712.828 --> 00:07:14,792.828 We focus so much on what we do wrong, what did you do right as a mom? I had four, six and under. 58 00:07:15,132.828 --> 00:07:17,22.829 you know, it was a lot when they were little. 59 00:07:17,302.829 --> 00:07:20,22.829 Yeah, that is a lot for under the age of six. 60 00:07:20,22.929 --> 00:07:22,642.929 You know, I think the main thing that I did, right. 61 00:07:22,642.929 --> 00:07:23,322.929 Cause you're right. 62 00:07:23,322.929 --> 00:07:25,382.929 there's so much, Oh, I want do overs. 63 00:07:25,382.929 --> 00:07:29,952.929 And I would do this different or that different, but I think what I did right. 64 00:07:30,152.929 --> 00:07:31,746.26233333 Is I, I was present. 65 00:07:31,836.26233333 --> 00:07:50,342.2204275 I showed up, you know, neither of my parents were really present, I lived with my grandma a my parents lived in different cities hours away and so they weren't around at all for many years of my life and so that's something I always try to be as present. 66 00:07:50,672.2204275 --> 00:08:02,610.43152 I, didn't miss a game if I could help it, or a wrestling match or football or, volleyball, whatever they were, in at the time, to be present and be available for the conversations. 67 00:08:02,660.53152 --> 00:08:09,226.331575 when a young mom asks me for advice, I tell them to talk about nothing all the time. 68 00:08:09,477.027275 --> 00:08:17,522.70351583 Because if you want your kids to talk about the somethings, the big things, then you have to lay that foundation that you've talked about nothing. 69 00:08:17,522.70351583 --> 00:08:34,493.44524654 You talk about their day, you talk about their video games that bore you to tears, you talk about all the, stuff you don't understand about Halo or, Minecraft or whatever it is that they're doing do you have any other things that you did well, because that's a good one. 70 00:08:35,463.44524654 --> 00:08:46,603.44524654 I credit my husband, to this because he was as committed as I was, but when the kids were younger, We made a point we sat around the dinner table every night together it doesn't matter if you're eating sandwiches. 71 00:08:46,603.44524654 --> 00:08:48,843.44524654 It doesn't matter if you've got fast food. 72 00:08:48,843.44524654 --> 00:08:55,520.11091321 It doesn't matter if you cooked a glorious meal, whatever it was, that was a time to reconnect because as they. 73 00:08:55,570.11191321 --> 00:08:57,310.11191321 get older, get jobs and all that. 74 00:08:57,310.11191321 --> 00:08:58,600.11191321 It's harder and harder. 75 00:08:59,220.11191321 --> 00:09:02,510.11141321 there wasn't special conversation, but again, it was that presence. 76 00:09:03,340.11241321 --> 00:09:05,680.11241321 We were present and we were together. 77 00:09:06,225.11241321 --> 00:09:08,15.11241321 And I think that's invaluable. 78 00:09:08,302.48415234 --> 00:09:10,92.48415234 I did the dinner time thing too. 79 00:09:10,92.48415234 --> 00:09:19,162.48265234 when I went through my divorce I think that was our saving grace because every night, my kids knew we would be at the table. 80 00:09:19,162.48265234 --> 00:09:20,812.38315234 And sometimes that was the. 81 00:09:21,2.48315234 --> 00:09:37,92.48415234 Only time I would see my oldest daughter because she was just so hurt you recently spoke at a women's luncheon I And you defined or separated courage, confidence the two and I thought it was really interesting. 82 00:09:37,92.48415234 --> 00:09:47,4.150819 Can you give us some bullet points from that and why that would matter for us as moms? confidence is something that we all strive for. 83 00:09:47,4.150819 --> 00:09:48,214.150819 We desperately want. 84 00:09:48,254.150819 --> 00:09:49,464.150819 It feels good. 85 00:09:49,834.150819 --> 00:10:02,621.77590596 It makes us feel more comfortable and nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, but the problem, with confidence is there's too many, external factors that can hurt confidence. 86 00:10:02,875.11023929 --> 00:10:08,915.11023929 let's say we're a working mom going into a meeting and we're all confident, we're prepared, we feel good about it. 87 00:10:09,165.11023929 --> 00:10:16,735.11023929 And then we get a negative response or we don't get the response that we hoped for about our idea and we feel shot down and it hurts our confidence. 88 00:10:16,835.11023929 --> 00:10:33,31.77590596 so if we focused Our energies to being courageous instead of confident because the confidence will come as we get better at things or we master a task or a skill set, confidence is a feeling and feelings ebb and flow. 89 00:10:33,471.77590596 --> 00:10:40,838.44257263 but courage is something that we're taking action despite fear you can't have courage without fear. 90 00:10:40,913.44257263 --> 00:10:44,183.44257263 Because if you didn't feel fear, you wouldn't need courage. 91 00:10:44,563.44257263 --> 00:10:49,873.44257263 And I know you recently did a fabulous podcast about fear and how to overcome that. 92 00:10:49,903.44157263 --> 00:10:53,363.44157263 if your listeners miss that, they need to go back and listen to that. 93 00:10:53,456.77490596 --> 00:11:01,106.77390596 The courage is something that will help overcoming the fear, but it also will help us gain confidence, that we're striving for. 94 00:11:01,961.77490596 --> 00:11:03,101.77490596 Yeah, I really like that. 95 00:11:03,101.77490596 --> 00:11:09,471.77490596 I don't know if I've ever thought about confidence being a feeling, but when you said that, I'm like, yeah, it is. 96 00:11:09,551.77490596 --> 00:11:11,885.10823929 And we're always trying to get there. 97 00:11:11,885.10823929 --> 00:11:15,595.10723929 We can never get there because something's always. 98 00:11:16,930.10823929 --> 00:11:25,973.44157263 as a mom, I really wanted to be a confident mom, I wanted to parent from a place of confidence. 99 00:11:25,973.44157263 --> 00:11:29,533.44157263 Like I know what I'm doing, I was a courageous mom. 100 00:11:29,678.44157263 --> 00:11:30,378.44157263 Absolutely. 101 00:11:30,388.44157263 --> 00:11:32,558.44157263 I did it scared every day. 102 00:11:32,645.10823929 --> 00:11:33,785.10823929 so that's a win. 103 00:11:33,995.10823929 --> 00:11:39,95.10723929 that helps boost morale Hey mom, you're showing up every day. 104 00:11:39,315.10823929 --> 00:11:49,225.10823929 You're doing it today in the midst of, the flat tire or the kids being home from school again or whatever, you're doing it. 105 00:11:49,535.10823929 --> 00:11:51,315.10823929 And that takes a lot of courage. 106 00:11:51,315.10823929 --> 00:12:10,56.77390596 I think too, as moms, I mean, what you said, I hope that, um, that resonates with some mama hearts listening, that They're showing up and being courageous and doing it anyway, despite all the challenges that come up, the daily hiccups, all the things that, life throws out as the curveballs. 107 00:12:10,436.77490596 --> 00:12:18,550.10823929 And so if, moms were seeking confidence in something, what we can really put our confidence in is we're going to figure it out and do it anyway. 108 00:12:18,740.10823929 --> 00:12:20,350.10823929 We're going to show up courageously. 109 00:12:20,775.10823929 --> 00:12:21,815.10823929 We may not do it perfect. 110 00:12:21,815.10823929 --> 00:12:28,405.10823929 We may not do it well even, but we can have confidence that we are going to be present and keep, being courageous. 111 00:12:28,695.10723929 --> 00:12:31,505.10723929 I hear a lot of moms that are really struggling. 112 00:12:31,505.10723929 --> 00:12:33,245.10723929 They want to be present. 113 00:12:33,275.10723929 --> 00:12:37,95.10723929 They don't feel like they're fully present anywhere. 114 00:12:37,265.10723929 --> 00:12:52,766.34686973 because of all the demands of life what was the key for your ability to be able to be present? we hear that, that dirty word balance, and we think there's some kind of, wonderful cosmic balance to achieve, and it just doesn't exist. 115 00:12:52,973.0135364 --> 00:13:01,53.0135364 What balance really means, or being present really means, is doing what you're supposed to be doing at the time you're supposed to be doing it. 116 00:13:01,261.34686973 --> 00:13:06,808.0135364 So if it's time to be at dinner or be with your kids or help them with their homework, do that. 117 00:13:07,328.0135364 --> 00:13:08,928.0135364 Just be present in that. 118 00:13:08,938.0135364 --> 00:13:10,558.0135364 Be fully focused in that. 119 00:13:10,648.0135364 --> 00:13:16,323.0135364 If you have to answer emails or do things after the kids go to bed, then That's the time for that. 120 00:13:16,323.0135364 --> 00:13:20,613.0135364 And you'd be present in that, but being fully present when we're with our kids. 121 00:13:20,853.0135364 --> 00:13:30,133.0135364 And I'm the first to say that, I've been distracted when, having conversations with the kids and they're droning on and on about the greatest latest weapon And my mind's wandering and I'm like, uh huh. 122 00:13:30,323.0135364 --> 00:13:30,703.0135364 Uh huh. 123 00:13:30,953.0135364 --> 00:13:35,966.34686973 I totally get that, we have to give ourselves grace what I mean by being present is just. 124 00:13:36,106.34686973 --> 00:13:40,539.68020306 Doing what you're supposed to be doing when you're supposed to be doing it, and that's it. 125 00:13:41,249.68020306 --> 00:13:45,299.68020306 So I have to make a confession here when you talk about that. 126 00:13:45,719.67920306 --> 00:13:49,49.68020306 I don't know why but I feel anxiety. 127 00:13:49,259.67920306 --> 00:14:01,309.68020306 but what if the email needs to be answered right away and now with texts it's so easy now to be distracted. 128 00:14:02,524.68020306 --> 00:14:04,214.68020306 so, My mom mentor friend. 129 00:14:04,644.68020306 --> 00:14:09,624.67920306 What do we do about that? You know, I can, I guess it goes back to that. 130 00:14:09,624.67920306 --> 00:14:15,854.68020306 We have to give ourselves grace, but we also have to train ourselves because we're one person. 131 00:14:16,284.67920306 --> 00:14:19,334.68020306 We can't do everything and we can't be all too. 132 00:14:19,734.68020306 --> 00:14:20,664.68020306 To everyone. 133 00:14:21,74.68020306 --> 00:14:30,324.68120306 I used to have emails just coming in at 530, 6 o'clock and I'm, trying to get dinner and having that, I call it the five o'clock panic of like, oh, I didn't plan dinner. 134 00:14:30,324.68120306 --> 00:14:33,404.68120306 what are we going to have now? Women have a lot of responsibilities. 135 00:14:33,404.68120306 --> 00:14:34,504.68120306 It's hard because. 136 00:14:34,824.68120306 --> 00:14:38,584.68120306 We're still doing the majority of the work at home, especially if you're a single mom, you're doing all of it. 137 00:14:38,714.68120306 --> 00:14:44,564.68120306 But even if you're married and have a great husband, that helps you're still doing statistically the majority. 138 00:14:44,644.68120306 --> 00:14:55,384.68120306 I think we just, we really need to retrain ourselves because like you say, society has creeped into where now it's like texts are as you get as many of those as you do email. 139 00:14:55,464.68120306 --> 00:14:58,904.68120306 texts became the urgent, like you have to answer me right now. 140 00:14:59,219.68120306 --> 00:15:14,959.68070306 so we have to learn to set our boundaries that work for us, our mental health, because if we're overwhelmed and we're fatigued and we're worn out, we're trying to juggle all these things, we can't serve our kids the way our hearts desire to. 141 00:15:15,209.68070306 --> 00:15:18,199.68070306 I think that that's been the hardest thing. 142 00:15:18,669.68070306 --> 00:15:21,99.68070306 is to learn to set those boundaries. 143 00:15:21,679.68070306 --> 00:15:27,819.68070306 it was a gradual change that we just didn't even realize until we were inundated. 144 00:15:28,69.68070306 --> 00:15:30,849.68070306 it's safe for us to put those boundaries back in place. 145 00:15:31,269.68070306 --> 00:15:32,789.68070306 when my oldest went to college. 146 00:15:33,524.68070306 --> 00:15:41,504.68070306 I made a rule that whenever he calls, I'm answering he would call me sometimes walking to class and he'd have 10 or 15 minutes. 147 00:15:41,534.68070306 --> 00:15:47,944.68170306 if he called me at 1130 at night, because that's when he's up I answered that call. 148 00:15:48,4.68070306 --> 00:15:56,814.68270306 I He didn't do that a lot because he tried to honor mom's sleep, you sewed into those relational connections throughout your life. 149 00:15:57,324.68270306 --> 00:16:05,921.5632248 So, Kimberly, what has been the hardest season of your life? know, there's different hards. 150 00:16:06,381.5642248 --> 00:16:08,101.5652248 I speak a lot on identity. 151 00:16:08,571.5652248 --> 00:16:23,41.5642248 and this applies in, in parenting in our careers and just in general as women is where's our identity rooted I struggled with my identity being wrapped up in my children and when they were young of like. 152 00:16:23,811.5642248 --> 00:16:26,501.5642248 I had expectations for them. 153 00:16:26,531.5642248 --> 00:16:34,741.5637248 I had envisioned them playing certain sports or being passionate about this sport versus this one or whatever it was. 154 00:16:34,741.5637248 --> 00:16:42,458.221012 I mean, I had all these expectations, even little things, and it caused tension and unnecessary stress on my kids. 155 00:16:42,561.623058 --> 00:16:44,291.622058 And so I had to learn. 156 00:16:44,341.622058 --> 00:16:45,981.622058 we learn parenting as we go. 157 00:16:46,201.622058 --> 00:16:49,901.622058 there's lots of books, I don't know that there's one good manual out there for us. 158 00:16:50,811.622058 --> 00:16:52,411.622058 We have to learn it as we go. 159 00:16:53,251.621058 --> 00:17:00,691.623058 And so I think that's one of the, the biggest things with our expectations is where's our identity rooted. 160 00:17:01,561.623058 --> 00:17:06,261.622058 And it's something I still have to be intentional about. 161 00:17:07,361.622058 --> 00:17:09,521.622058 Lord, my identity is rooted in you. 162 00:17:09,588.2887246 --> 00:17:13,808.2887246 My confidence, if we want to use confidence, comes from you. 163 00:17:13,988.2887246 --> 00:17:18,488.2887246 My courage comes from you, it doesn't matter what my kids do. 164 00:17:18,624.9553913 --> 00:17:20,754.9553913 Or, what paths they take. 165 00:17:20,938.2887246 --> 00:17:23,498.2887246 It's not a reflection of my identity. 166 00:17:23,918.2887246 --> 00:17:26,278.2887246 But that's really hard to separate. 167 00:17:26,384.9553913 --> 00:17:26,864.9553913 As a mom. 168 00:17:27,201.622058 --> 00:17:30,331.622058 even as you started to say that, I was like, oh yeah. 169 00:17:30,781.622058 --> 00:17:32,911.621058 I remember as a young mom. 170 00:17:33,521.622058 --> 00:17:36,211.622058 Like, if my kids were good, that meant I was good. 171 00:17:36,401.622058 --> 00:17:37,111.622058 Exactly. 172 00:17:37,151.622058 --> 00:17:41,778.2887246 Until my third, through the worst temper tantrum in the toy store. 173 00:17:42,618.2887246 --> 00:17:51,854.9553913 And I was like, Oh, yes, it's not a reflection of me and every, every parent who has multiple kids can attest to this. 174 00:17:52,384.9543913 --> 00:17:53,794.9553913 Every child is different. 175 00:17:53,974.9543913 --> 00:17:59,584.9553913 And so my first one was so easy and so well mannered and well behaved. 176 00:17:59,584.9553913 --> 00:18:03,214.9553913 And I mean, I was like, I am the best mom ever. 177 00:18:03,664.9553913 --> 00:18:09,44.9553913 And the second one came along and I was like, Oh my gosh, I am the worst mom ever. 178 00:18:09,44.9553913 --> 00:18:11,254.9553913 And not only that, I'm the worst human being ever. 179 00:18:11,474.9553913 --> 00:18:16,554.9553913 I mean, it was just everything that the first one didn't do, the second one did. 180 00:18:17,134.9543913 --> 00:18:18,564.9543913 And it was terrible. 181 00:18:18,564.9553913 --> 00:18:33,911.6307201 how do we get from that point of realization that maybe there's some unhealthy? Going on here to walking in, a freer place of who we are. 182 00:18:34,111.6307201 --> 00:18:40,391.6297201 I really do believe prayer is the answer to so much, really to everything. 183 00:18:40,451.6307201 --> 00:18:49,811.6307201 I think that's where we have to be willing to sit before God and be willing for God to hold up a mirror to us. 184 00:18:50,591.6307201 --> 00:18:53,91.6307201 And be willing to grow and submit. 185 00:18:53,281.6307201 --> 00:18:56,481.6307201 And man, pride is a hard pill to swallow. 186 00:18:56,548.2973868 --> 00:19:01,261.6307201 It is so hard and we don't think about being prideful as a mom. 187 00:19:01,261.6307201 --> 00:19:06,521.6307201 we're trying to survive and we're trying to do it right and we want our kids to thrive and all these things. 188 00:19:06,991.6307201 --> 00:19:11,681.6302201 But really, pride was a big thing with me I wanted to be right. 189 00:19:11,971.6302201 --> 00:19:22,468.2968868 sometimes I'd be going, why am I arguing with a six year old? instead of just, no, I'm the parent and this is why, and end of story and, and be firm in it. 190 00:19:22,584.9635535 --> 00:19:23,884.9635535 but there were times. 191 00:19:24,34.9635535 --> 00:19:25,794.9635535 that I was not right. 192 00:19:25,908.2968868 --> 00:19:37,538.2968868 And I told my husband the other day, I said, I am embarrassed to tell you the number of times that I argued with my kids about something or lost my temper before school and it would just eat at me. 193 00:19:37,538.2968868 --> 00:19:41,623.1978868 I have my quiet time and I'd feel so guilty and I'd have to go up to the school. 194 00:19:42,113.2978868 --> 00:19:52,413.2978868 And I mean, literally I would go to the school and say, um, excuse me, can I talk to Seth for a minute and get them out of class and be like, I am really sorry for what I, because I was so stressed. 195 00:19:52,413.2978868 --> 00:19:56,463.2973868 I started their day off terrible And I would have to go up there and apologize. 196 00:19:56,493.2973868 --> 00:20:00,493.2973868 with four kids, you know, 12 years of school that happened. 197 00:20:01,183.2973868 --> 00:20:10,363.2973868 More than once, I wanted them to know, I don't always make the right choices or say the right things and I'm learning just like they are. 198 00:20:10,503.2973868 --> 00:20:15,208.1973868 they learned to offer me grace and I learned to give myself grace. 199 00:20:15,458.2973868 --> 00:20:21,154.9640535 you chose humility and what you modeled for your kids was amazing. 200 00:20:21,454.9640535 --> 00:20:27,488.2973868 I don't think I really learned what you're talking about probably until. 201 00:20:27,819.9640535 --> 00:20:41,216.6297201 Maybe it was even after my husband left, like true humility and brokenness and repenting over the things that I say that are hurtful we can say mean things. 202 00:20:41,216.6297201 --> 00:20:42,786.6297201 Can't we? Oh, very much. 203 00:20:43,226.6297201 --> 00:20:43,836.6297201 Very much. 204 00:20:43,906.6297201 --> 00:20:46,436.6297201 We can hurt our children's hearts. 205 00:20:47,376.6297201 --> 00:20:47,656.6297201 Yeah. 206 00:20:47,666.6297201 --> 00:20:47,896.6297201 Yeah. 207 00:20:48,376.6297201 --> 00:20:50,656.6287201 And even unintentionally for sure. 208 00:20:50,666.6297201 --> 00:20:54,676.6297201 But I mean, sometimes we're just angry and just spouting words. 209 00:20:55,26.6297201 --> 00:20:58,355.520502 My mom was very quick to anger. 210 00:20:58,880.520502 --> 00:21:02,200.520502 And she was very volatile in her words and behavior. 211 00:21:02,337.1871686 --> 00:21:12,297.1871686 so that's what I grew up with, and I knew it's not how I wanted to behave, but it also, like, I had to learn to manage my anger of losing my temper. 212 00:21:12,742.1871686 --> 00:21:19,672.1871686 I think what kept the relationship strong with my kids, despite that, is that communication. 213 00:21:19,682.1871686 --> 00:21:25,702.1871686 Like I was saying, of being present, they knew as I was showing up, they knew they could call me anytime and I'm available for them. 214 00:21:25,818.8528353 --> 00:21:30,888.8538353 And not in the bailout way, but in the support way, or just the conversation way. 215 00:21:31,138.8538353 --> 00:21:43,63.8538353 And I tried to also share with them Even from an early age, I would tell them a little about my day or what, you know, or about this person I saw at Walmart or, you know, just engage with them like a friend. 216 00:21:43,133.8538353 --> 00:21:46,33.8538353 we learn to just have conversations all the time. 217 00:21:46,633.8528353 --> 00:21:52,323.8528353 even to this day, now we just sit and chat and I, it makes me want to cry. 218 00:21:52,353.8528353 --> 00:21:53,263.8528353 I feel so blessed. 219 00:21:53,273.8528353 --> 00:21:55,373.8528353 My boys, say I'm their best friend. 220 00:21:55,373.8528353 --> 00:21:56,233.8528353 that just is. 221 00:21:56,377.1861686 --> 00:21:57,497.1861686 It chokes me up. 222 00:21:57,517.1861686 --> 00:21:58,137.1861686 It's amazing. 223 00:21:58,483.8528353 --> 00:22:11,463.8523353 But I think it's, it goes back to the conversations and the communication and the presence of they knew I was there to listen and to talk and to chat I have two adult boys living at home right now, paying rent. 224 00:22:11,463.9523353 --> 00:22:14,183.8533353 And I mean, it's pretty fabulous. 225 00:22:14,613.8533353 --> 00:22:15,343.8533353 I'm not going to lie. 226 00:22:16,223.8533353 --> 00:22:18,373.8533353 it's working well, it's working wonderfully. 227 00:22:18,773.8533353 --> 00:22:19,713.8533353 Wow. 228 00:22:19,733.8533353 --> 00:22:21,3.8533353 That's kind of cool. 229 00:22:21,433.8533353 --> 00:22:29,763.8523353 All my, all my kids, every one of them moved out and then moved back home for a season they usually didn't like to have to move back home. 230 00:22:29,823.8523353 --> 00:22:36,153.8523353 but I said, I just, think it's because there's more that God wants to do when it's time. 231 00:22:36,608.8533353 --> 00:22:37,758.8533353 It'll be time. 232 00:22:37,838.8533353 --> 00:22:39,88.8533353 You'll go for good. 233 00:22:39,168.8533353 --> 00:22:39,798.8533353 Don't worry. 234 00:22:39,848.9533353 --> 00:22:41,278.9533353 I call them boomerang kids. 235 00:22:41,338.9533353 --> 00:22:42,438.9533353 They come back. 236 00:22:42,438.9533353 --> 00:22:44,298.9533353 You know, that speaks volumes though. 237 00:22:44,348.9543353 --> 00:22:48,765.622002 that the kids felt like they, they were okay with coming back. 238 00:22:48,775.622002 --> 00:22:51,265.622002 Even if it's obviously not ideal, they want to be on their own. 239 00:22:51,275.622002 --> 00:22:53,15.622002 They want to have independence, that kind of thing. 240 00:22:53,375.622002 --> 00:23:03,910.721002 But I do know kids that They will go anywhere else but back home, they had an environment that they knew they were loved and they were welcomed to come back. 241 00:23:04,14.5350454 --> 00:23:06,808.0366759 and I think that's A blessing and a compliment. 242 00:23:07,4.7033425 --> 00:23:19,614.7103771 when you were raising kids? And I know like you're in the thick of it and you're just doing the daily, but I have a feeling you were mindful about the kind of adults that you wanted. 243 00:23:19,914.7103771 --> 00:23:21,344.7103771 when they stepped away. 244 00:23:21,604.7103771 --> 00:23:35,453.0437105 what's some of the qualities that you wanted to instill in your kids? Well, so here's my two things like I call them my soapbox things that I would die on the hill for okay You know, this is good. 245 00:23:35,453.0437105 --> 00:23:43,323.5627278 Let's hear it girl I wanted my kids to do chores and They started doing chores early, early on, and I'll tell you why. 246 00:23:43,353.5627278 --> 00:23:45,613.5627278 And then the second thing was gratitude. 247 00:23:46,133.5627278 --> 00:23:53,463.5627278 I wanted them to be grateful, no matter what, So the first one about chores, we started, having our kids do chores. 248 00:23:53,473.5627278 --> 00:23:54,953.5627278 And they were like two or three years old. 249 00:23:54,953.5627278 --> 00:23:59,883.5627278 And we would empty all the glass and anything, um, that could hurt them out of the dishwasher. 250 00:24:00,253.5627278 --> 00:24:04,63.5627278 And then they would just hand us little stuff out of the dishwasher and they would get to help. 251 00:24:04,156.8960611 --> 00:24:19,826.8955611 and every night putting away their toys into the basket I feel like that one It teaches them what it takes to keep a household running and to be a part of the team and to contribute, but it also allows them to learn a work ethic. 252 00:24:19,866.8955611 --> 00:24:35,86.8945611 we created a, we called it an opportunity chart where, we, have everything from load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, dust bust under the table after we eat, wipe down the counters, clean out the microwave, empty the trash, clean their bathrooms. 253 00:24:35,136.8955611 --> 00:24:37,246.8950611 we had it all listed out and it rotates. 254 00:24:37,246.8950611 --> 00:24:40,176.8955611 So nobody's stuck on, loading the dishwasher for all their life. 255 00:24:40,886.8955611 --> 00:24:44,446.8955611 Justin would have to read the younger kids what their chores were. 256 00:24:44,546.8955611 --> 00:24:46,746.8960611 And I get, it takes a long time. 257 00:24:47,36.8960611 --> 00:24:54,86.8960611 And so sometimes you're just in a hurry my kids into having a strong work ethic and to being productive and to being self sufficient. 258 00:24:54,154.7373655 --> 00:25:01,654.7373655 And so we knew that other than maybe paying the bills, by the time that they were a freshman in high school, they technically could have lived on their own. 259 00:25:02,354.7363655 --> 00:25:04,194.7373655 You know, they knew how to clean their toilets. 260 00:25:04,204.7363655 --> 00:25:06,484.7363655 They did their own laundry starting in middle school. 261 00:25:06,484.7363655 --> 00:25:07,784.7363655 I stopped doing their laundry. 262 00:25:07,904.7363655 --> 00:25:13,244.7353655 I would compliment them on, a job well done or their work ethic. 263 00:25:13,739.7363655 --> 00:25:16,829.7363655 Or the fact that, they did their chores without being asked. 264 00:25:16,829.7363655 --> 00:25:23,589.7353655 And, you know, and of course we went through the phase, there's attitude about it when they got to be in high school and, Oh, I don't want to do this. 265 00:25:23,639.7363655 --> 00:25:26,329.7363655 but they still did it and they knew how to do it. 266 00:25:26,679.7363655 --> 00:25:36,366.4030321 I just can't imagine having an adult child in my house that contributes absolutely nothing, I didn't want that for my kids I want my kids to thrive and to. 267 00:25:36,416.4030321 --> 00:25:37,676.4030321 live an abundant life. 268 00:25:38,136.4030321 --> 00:25:41,886.4030321 so I think that is one of the root foundations of it. 269 00:25:42,26.4030321 --> 00:25:48,366.4040321 And then, my kids know a lot about my childhood and the life that I had and how drastically different it is than theirs. 270 00:25:48,483.0716988 --> 00:25:51,333.0716988 And so I wanted them to always be grateful. 271 00:25:51,623.0716988 --> 00:25:52,643.0716988 and it can be hard. 272 00:25:52,643.0716988 --> 00:25:55,533.0716988 Sometimes we live in a really nice area in a fluent area. 273 00:25:55,533.0716988 --> 00:25:59,563.0706988 And, you know, there's things that we can afford to give our kids that we choose not to. 274 00:25:59,639.7383655 --> 00:26:01,423.0716988 so they have a hard time. 275 00:26:01,423.0716988 --> 00:26:07,603.0716988 They've had to learn to navigate and still be grateful for what they have, even when other people seem to have more. 276 00:26:07,773.0716988 --> 00:26:10,83.0716988 it has been such a core value with me. 277 00:26:10,733.0716988 --> 00:26:11,983.0716988 To ingrain that in them. 278 00:26:11,983.0716988 --> 00:26:16,163.0716988 I think they have done a pretty good job and they always say, thank you. 279 00:26:16,213.0716988 --> 00:26:20,653.0716988 I see the appreciation come from them and I'm thankful for that. 280 00:26:21,263.0716988 --> 00:26:31,73.0716988 gratitude is of course my song and dance and what it does for other people, but gosh, just what it does for our own wellbeing. 281 00:26:31,553.0716988 --> 00:26:41,323.0706988 And if we teach our children to truly be grateful and to practice gratitude, that's, giving them 10 steps ahead. 282 00:26:41,371.4040321 --> 00:26:53,11.4040321 In being resilient and being able to bounce back, maintaining joy, having a sound mind, making good decisions, being healthy, sleeping well, all kinds of wonderful things. 283 00:26:53,21.4030321 --> 00:26:54,661.4040321 it wasn't just about chores. 284 00:26:54,676.5040321 --> 00:27:06,976.4050321 And in the gratitude, it's not just about gratitude, the things that you were instilling And these were just the means to the end of what you wanted your kids to leave home with. 285 00:27:07,6.4030321 --> 00:27:14,56.4030321 when my, Two oldest were in like a middle school youth group the youth pastor asked, so who has to do chores. 286 00:27:14,56.4030321 --> 00:27:16,476.4045321 And of course, my boys raised our hand the youth pastor said. 287 00:27:16,901.4045321 --> 00:27:21,441.4045321 Well, Justin, what do you get for doing chores? He goes, I get to live in my house. 288 00:27:22,681.4045321 --> 00:27:28,598.0711988 Kimberly, you've just had some great mom wisdom to share. 289 00:27:28,703.0711988 --> 00:27:41,63.0721988 it's been fun to swap stories and, and hear the values of your heart and how you maintain those values and, raised your kids in those values. 290 00:27:41,83.0721988 --> 00:27:44,923.0721988 I do know that you are an author. 291 00:27:45,583.0731988 --> 00:28:04,321.4070321 That you are a speaker, what else do you have your hand in this season of life? I am writing my third book and I'm helping coach Christian business women who are solopreneurs or, business owners with less than 10 employees, that are looking to grow their business. 292 00:28:04,331.4070321 --> 00:28:07,491.4070321 So pretty niche down on the who. 293 00:28:07,766.4070321 --> 00:28:13,286.4070321 writing and speaking is really where my passion lies and where I feel like God's called me during the season. 294 00:28:13,286.4070321 --> 00:28:15,996.4070321 women, we are so valuable to God. 295 00:28:16,16.4070321 --> 00:28:21,376.4070321 He sees us and he loves us and he treasures us and he cherishes us. 296 00:28:21,396.4070321 --> 00:28:24,63.0736988 And it's so easy for women to forget that. 297 00:28:24,498.0736988 --> 00:28:33,378.0736988 if this were a conversation you were having with a young mom and she was getting ready to leave and you were like, wait a minute, honey, one more thing. 298 00:28:34,28.0736988 --> 00:28:37,308.0726988 I just want you to remember this one thing. 299 00:28:37,858.0736988 --> 00:28:41,744.7403655 What would that be? I would want her to know she is important. 300 00:28:41,798.0736988 --> 00:28:44,748.0736988 And so she needs to take time for herself. 301 00:28:45,278.0736988 --> 00:28:46,498.0736988 She needs to pause. 302 00:28:47,78.0736988 --> 00:28:51,438.0736988 She needs to not feel guilty we just push and go, go, go. 303 00:28:51,928.0736988 --> 00:28:59,718.0746988 you are worth caring for yourself and we want to be our best version That's every woman's desire. 304 00:28:59,718.0746988 --> 00:29:04,348.0746988 I believe that but we can't do that if we're not caring for ourselves. 305 00:29:04,458.0746988 --> 00:29:09,128.0746988 I just would encourage every mom listening to not forget herself. 306 00:29:10,68.0746988 --> 00:29:17,211.4070321 The importance of who she is and how valuable she is to God how valuable she is to her family we can't pour from it in an empty cup. 307 00:29:17,461.4080321 --> 00:29:19,881.4080321 it is very hard That's a good word. 308 00:29:19,961.4080321 --> 00:29:22,361.4070321 Thank you for hanging out with me. 309 00:29:22,911.4070321 --> 00:29:27,511.4070321 I'm such an honor It's so great to hear more of your mom journey. 310 00:29:27,511.4070321 --> 00:29:31,361.4070321 I know that there's so much we didn't get to Yeah. 311 00:29:31,391.4070321 --> 00:29:33,641.4070321 I'm just, I'm honored to be on your podcast. 312 00:29:33,651.4070321 --> 00:29:38,171.4070321 You have such a great podcast and I know several of the moms that listen and they are precious. 313 00:29:38,231.4070321 --> 00:29:47,498.0736988 So I'm honored to get to share with such a valuable audience Wow, what an incredible conversation with Kimberly Wright. 314 00:29:47,838.0736988 --> 00:29:53,348.0726988 If you're anything like me, you'll be chewing on these nuggets of wisdom for quite a while. 315 00:29:54,8.0736988 --> 00:30:07,658.0731988 From the reminder That courage matters more than confidence, to the power of being present in the moment, even if that means enduring another long winded Minecraft monologue from your kids. 316 00:30:07,804.4368352 --> 00:30:11,234.4368352 Kimberly gave us so many practical takeaways. 317 00:30:11,350.8004715 --> 00:30:14,620.8004715 Here is an action step you might consider. 318 00:30:14,752.6186534 --> 00:30:18,440.8004715 This week, pick one way to be fully present. 319 00:30:18,570.8004715 --> 00:30:29,119.8903806 Whether it's putting your phone down at dinner, listening intently to your child's story, or just slowing down to soak in a moment with your family. 320 00:30:29,176.8913806 --> 00:30:45,370.225714 And mom, if you're having trouble figuring out what it looks like or even feels like to be fully present, consider joining me on March 20th and 21st for Align Your Life With What Matters Most. 321 00:30:45,430.225714 --> 00:30:51,503.9529276 and start living in alignment with God's best for you, sign up today at momtomommentoring. 322 00:30:52,553.9529276 --> 00:30:54,873.9529276 com backslash values. 323 00:30:54,923.9529276 --> 00:31:04,68.6073749 until next time, remember to live boldly, lead with purpose, love with passion, and parent with presence. 324 00:31:04,254.5699167 --> 00:31:09,84.5699167 Remember, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too. 325 00:31:09,464.5709167 --> 00:31:13,854.5709167 So, hey, let's go shine brightly together.
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