March 20, 2025 • 30 mins
Are your mornings chaotic? Do you feel like you're constantly repeating yourself—"Brush your teeth! Pack your bag! Where are your shoes?"—only to start each day stressed and overwhelmed? You are not alone.
In this episode of Mom2Mom Mentoring, I sit down with Katie Welch, a mom of six, nonprofit founder, and expert in turning everyday family life from overwhelming to organized. Katie shares how simple morning and evening routines, chore charts, and small daily rhythms have brought peace and structure to her busy home.
Here’s what you’ll learn in today’s episode: ✅ The mindset shift that helps moms embrace structure without feeling trapped ✅ How a simple morning routine system transformed her family’s daily flow ✅ The difference between true rest and just taking a break (this will change how you recharge!) ✅ How to set up a chore chart system that actually works—without the nagging ✅ Practical steps to start implementing rhythms that bring peace into your home
💡 Ready to stop the chaos and bring more peace to your home? Grab Katie’s Family Chore Chart System now! It’s designed to help you create structure that works without overwhelm.
📥 Download it here → http://mom2mommentoring.com/chores
And if you’re thinking, “This all sounds great, but I don’t know where to start”—I’ve got you. As your Mom Mentor & Coach, I help busy moms like you create rhythms that actually fit your life and season.
📅 Let’s chat! Book a FREE 20-minute call and start your journey from chaos to calm.
🎧 Listen now and start transforming your home today!
Contact Katie Welch through the Non-Profit Foster Light
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FosterLight.co
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fosterlight.co/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes. 2 00:00:03,272.0839775425 --> 00:00:05,912.0839775425 It affects us all in different ways. 3 00:00:05,986.4364879193 --> 00:00:18,73.513553091 When the trauma of abandonment and divorce hit our family, I would fall into my bed night after night, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. 4 00:00:18,228.940631281 --> 00:00:26,91.989316494 I understood what David meant in Psalm 6 6, where he said, I am weary with my groaning. 5 00:00:26,148.61375069 --> 00:00:37,541.971912614 Every night I make my bed swim, I drench my couch with my tears, I was a sobbing, broken mess. 6 00:00:37,708.38646169 --> 00:00:55,248.38646169 Beloved mom, if you've ever felt like you're drowning in the demands of daily life, and in your tears, whether it's keeping up with the kids, managing a home, juggling work, or forbid, navigating your family through any kind of trauma. 7 00:00:55,385.053128357 --> 00:00:57,975.053128357 Today's episode is just for you. 8 00:00:58,45.163923363 --> 00:01:14,971.828590029 My guest, friend, and all around marvelous mom, Katie Welch, is a mom of six, a non profit founder, a woman who has navigated and is navigating the chaos, the beauty, the traumatic and the heart of foster care. 9 00:01:15,165.161923363 --> 00:01:24,75.161923363 Katie is a sunshine loving, vintage enthusiast who believes in finding light, even in the darkest moments. 10 00:01:24,555.161923363 --> 00:01:37,609.258145585 After 14 years of education, Katie founded Foster Light, a non profit that supports foster parents in creating sustainable, nurturing homes for foster youth. 11 00:01:37,710.478281387 --> 00:01:46,710.47728139 Katie and her husband Nick have been married for almost 16 years and half of that time they've been doing foster care together. 12 00:01:47,490.47828139 --> 00:01:58,750.47828139 Whether Katie is wrangling kids, running a nonprofit, or having a kitchen dance party, her mission is to bring light to the world encourage others to do the same. 13 00:01:58,770.47828139 --> 00:02:12,270.47828139 She's here to share the messy and the miracles of life and the practical systems and rhythms that have transformed her home from overwhelming to somewhat peaceful and structured. 14 00:02:12,680.47828139 --> 00:02:22,420.37878139 And trust me, you're going to want to grab her chore chart system, you today at momtomommentoring. 15 00:02:22,490.37878139 --> 00:02:25,590.37878139 com backslash chores. 16 00:02:26,10.37878139 --> 00:02:33,650.37778139 Because let's be honest, anything that makes your mornings run smoother is worth it. 17 00:02:34,120.37778139 --> 00:02:38,0.37878139 You'll hear more about this system in today's episode with Katie. 18 00:02:38,379.9406102 --> 00:02:41,879.9406102 it's super easy as moms to be like, I don't have time for that. 19 00:02:41,879.9406102 --> 00:02:42,899.9406102 I'm too busy to sleep. 20 00:02:42,919.9406102 --> 00:02:43,929.9406102 My kids don't sleep. 21 00:02:43,939.9406102 --> 00:02:45,939.9406102 I'll, just come up with all these excuses. 22 00:02:46,56.60827687 --> 00:02:56,833.27494353 And I used to do that a lot, but I got to the point where I was like, okay, well, I either schedule it in, or I just cry on the floor of my shower every day. 23 00:02:56,833.27494353 --> 00:03:02,88.27494353 Which one do I want to do? if that doesn't hit home, I don't know what does. 24 00:03:02,608.27494353 --> 00:03:10,898.27394353 Katie knows the struggle and she's figured out some practical ways to stop the overwhelm before it takes over. 25 00:03:11,208.27494353 --> 00:03:12,298.27494353 So grab your coffee. 26 00:03:12,478.27494353 --> 00:03:24,278.27494353 Settle in and get ready for a conversation that will inspire you, equip you, and remind you that peace is possible, even in the busiest seasons. 27 00:03:25,57.96429049 --> 00:03:31,594.28112636 Katie, tell us a little bit about your life as a mom right now. 28 00:03:31,884.28112636 --> 00:03:35,144.28112636 right now I have six kiddos. 29 00:03:35,194.28112636 --> 00:03:38,334.28112636 They range from age four up to 12. 30 00:03:38,505.78283228 --> 00:03:41,755.78283228 Four of them are in foster care and their sisters. 31 00:03:41,895.50268402 --> 00:03:44,145.50268402 And then two of them are biological. 32 00:03:44,580.50268402 --> 00:03:50,150.50268402 Boys, I also have a Nonprofit that supports foster families. 33 00:03:50,310.50268402 --> 00:03:55,698.03349329 So my life oscillates between all of that you are a business woman. 34 00:03:55,708.03449329 --> 00:04:01,198.03449329 You have founded and developed a business, a nonprofit business. 35 00:04:01,301.36782663 --> 00:04:05,941.36782663 you are working as well as raising six kids. 36 00:04:06,28.03449329 --> 00:04:24,921.36782663 what would you say right now is your biggest challenge? The biggest challenge right now is prioritizing my mental and emotional health so that I can be available mentally, emotionally, physically spiritually available for. 37 00:04:25,23.03449329 --> 00:04:29,236.36782663 My life for my kids for my husband and for my job. 38 00:04:29,386.36782663 --> 00:04:33,949.70015996 So what are you finding is working? Yeah. 39 00:04:34,29.70115996 --> 00:04:39,359.70015996 It's the tale as old as time, right? You know, just trying to fill your own cup so you can pour into other people. 40 00:04:39,409.70015996 --> 00:04:49,784.78824413 I think, putting structure around it is the most important part for me, at least when you have such a busy schedule, it's so easy to get lost in it. 41 00:04:49,908.12157746 --> 00:04:59,908.12207746 It's easy to, get to the end of a month and think, gosh, I haven't done anything for myself or I haven't done anything life giving this month for me, unless you put it in your schedule. 42 00:04:59,981.45541079 --> 00:05:02,328.12207746 I just have to literally. 43 00:05:02,404.78874413 --> 00:05:04,374.78874413 Mark it into my calendar. 44 00:05:04,594.78874413 --> 00:05:09,428.12207746 The different things that feel life giving to me and it's different things in different seasons. 45 00:05:09,808.12207746 --> 00:05:14,108.12307746 that used to stress me out to think about putting stuff like that in my calendar. 46 00:05:14,108.12307746 --> 00:05:21,68.12307746 Like I want it to be more fluid than that but this is not the season of my life where things are organic. 47 00:05:21,88.12307746 --> 00:05:23,878.12307746 You know, there's a lot in my life that I can't control. 48 00:05:24,228.12307746 --> 00:05:30,568.12307746 And so I have to kind of put systems in place to take care of myself. 49 00:05:30,978.12307746 --> 00:05:35,248.12207746 Because if I don't, it's just not going to get done and then I'm going to get burned out and exhausted. 50 00:05:35,248.12207746 --> 00:05:39,628.12307746 And then I'm going to be a monster to my kids and my husband, and I'm not going to do good at anything. 51 00:05:39,918.12307746 --> 00:05:50,461.45541079 I just have to schedule So how do you even find time to schedule anything in? you just make time for what feels important to you. 52 00:05:50,568.12207746 --> 00:05:54,68.12207746 it's super easy as moms to be like, I don't have time for that. 53 00:05:54,68.12207746 --> 00:05:55,88.12207746 I'm too busy to sleep. 54 00:05:55,108.12207746 --> 00:05:56,118.12207746 My kids don't sleep. 55 00:05:56,128.12207746 --> 00:05:58,128.12207746 I'll, just come up with all these excuses. 56 00:05:58,244.78974413 --> 00:06:09,21.45641079 And I used to do that a lot, but I got to the point where I was like, okay, well, I either schedule it in, or I just cry on the floor of my shower every day. 57 00:06:09,21.45641079 --> 00:06:13,871.45641079 Which one do I want to do? for a while it was like, okay, I'll just get up earlier. 58 00:06:13,911.45541079 --> 00:06:18,311.45641079 But then I was getting like four hours of sleep and that was making me a crazy person too. 59 00:06:18,561.45641079 --> 00:06:32,347.61108471 for me in this season it's going to be like small daily rhythms that are ongoing they might be tiny, or not take very much time, but they are just rhythms. 60 00:06:32,612.61108471 --> 00:06:40,652.61108471 Keep me alive, keep me going, keep me loving my life, keep me rested so that I am. 61 00:06:41,437.61108471 --> 00:06:44,967.61108471 Pouring into my kids and being like, look at life, look at God. 62 00:06:44,977.61108471 --> 00:06:46,17.61108471 Isn't this so great. 63 00:06:46,27.61108471 --> 00:06:49,727.61108471 Instead of rushing around the house being like, Oh my gosh, this is such a nightmare. 64 00:06:49,777.61108471 --> 00:07:09,234.05925373 can you just follow directions for like once, like rage clean around the house It's not like I'm always happy and great but these rhythms or, structure that I've set in place has drastically changed my mental health, So this wasn't just a natural thing you started to do when you became mom of six kids. 65 00:07:09,694.05925373 --> 00:07:13,659.8755571 This is something that you hit a crisis point. 66 00:07:13,876.48968753 --> 00:07:16,536.48968753 I would say like multiple crisis points. 67 00:07:16,596.48868753 --> 00:07:18,906.48868753 we had two biological kids. 68 00:07:19,321.48968753 --> 00:07:22,331.48968753 And then we got three foster kids at the same time. 69 00:07:22,691.48968753 --> 00:07:26,31.48968753 And so we went from two to five and we had five kids under five. 70 00:07:26,31.48968753 --> 00:07:29,521.48918753 And I was in grad school to be a principal and I was teaching full time. 71 00:07:29,521.48918753 --> 00:07:32,619.17422797 And my husband was in grad school and we look back on that season. 72 00:07:32,619.17422797 --> 00:07:38,679.17322797 And I'm like, how in the world did we survive? Like none of the children could do anything by themselves. 73 00:07:39,294.17422797 --> 00:07:42,494.17522797 after a while I kind of hit a wall where I was like, Oh my gosh, I can't do this. 74 00:07:42,504.17422797 --> 00:07:44,984.17472797 And so then specific systems would go into place. 75 00:07:44,984.17472797 --> 00:07:46,514.17522797 And then it would be like, okay. 76 00:07:46,514.17522797 --> 00:07:53,574.17522797 Here's another piece that's really stressing me out of like, here's the top five things That feel massively overwhelming to me right now. 77 00:07:53,660.84189463 --> 00:08:10,170.84089463 How can I solve this? Like what can I put into place for this to feel easier or more life giving? what are some systems? I mean, that sounds very business management, right? Which is not how I normally function at all. 78 00:08:10,250.84089463 --> 00:08:23,10.84189463 but when you have a life as busy as mine or as many kids as I do, or as many kids with trauma in your home as I do it just helps my brain and it helps their brains if we just have systems in place. 79 00:08:23,120.84189463 --> 00:08:26,590.84089463 Mornings just felt so overwhelming bedtimes felt really stressful. 80 00:08:26,620.84089463 --> 00:08:28,550.84089463 my house being a mess felt really stressful. 81 00:08:28,820.84089463 --> 00:08:35,630.84089463 Something that's changed our life drastically is like morning routine, evening routine and chore chart. 82 00:08:35,800.84089464 --> 00:08:41,880.84139463 this one time I went have you brushed your teeth? Is your bag packed? What are you doing? We're supposed to be getting ready for school. 83 00:08:41,880.84139463 --> 00:08:49,370.84139463 And you're talking about this one time we went to worlds of fun six months ago, just feeling frustrated that it just felt out of control. 84 00:08:49,422.5080613 --> 00:09:06,292.5090613 And to have to remember what six kids need and like, okay, do you have your Chromebook as your backpack? Do you have a coat, gloves? Do you have a water bottle that's filled up? Do you have your red folder, your blue folder, your green folder? Do you have your library book? So on our morning routine has lists of what they need to do in the morning. 85 00:09:06,492.5090613 --> 00:09:09,232.5090613 It also has pictures on it for the kids that can't read yet. 86 00:09:09,345.84239463 --> 00:09:13,625.84239463 It has, is your backpack and it has lists of what needs to be in your backpack. 87 00:09:13,692.5090613 --> 00:09:20,622.5090613 So in the morning, I kind of can just bop around to everyone's room and see how it's going. 88 00:09:20,652.5090613 --> 00:09:28,852.5085613 How are we doing on morning routine? Morning routine? How's morning routine? Because then I'm not saying 85 things and my brain's going out of control. 89 00:09:28,852.5085613 --> 00:09:30,382.5085613 I'm saying morning routine. 90 00:09:30,792.5085613 --> 00:09:33,182.5085613 Something happens in the morning that's different. 91 00:09:33,192.5085613 --> 00:09:36,202.5085613 Like this morning, my dog threw up in four different rooms. 92 00:09:36,512.5085613 --> 00:09:39,332.5075613 we had tutoring drop off at 7 a. 93 00:09:39,332.5075613 --> 00:09:39,572.5075613 m. 94 00:09:39,582.5075613 --> 00:09:41,962.4575613 We had one bus comes at 7. 95 00:09:41,962.4575613 --> 00:09:41,962.5575613 30. 96 00:09:41,962.5575613 --> 00:09:43,942.5075613 One bus comes at 7. 97 00:09:43,942.6075613 --> 00:09:44,267.4075613 40. 98 00:09:44,647.5075613 --> 00:09:54,37.5075613 Choir pickup at 745 for a different kid, the other two kids bus at 830, and then I also pick up tutoring kid at 830 and take her to a different school. 99 00:09:54,287.5075613 --> 00:09:56,27.5085613 So that's all just Thursday mornings. 100 00:09:56,247.5075613 --> 00:10:09,717.5085613 So, if there was no structure in my morning, that would feel really stressful, like how am I supposed to keep that all together? But it's all on my calendar, listed And then when my dog throws up in four different rooms, my kids are all doing their morning routine. 101 00:10:09,887.5085613 --> 00:10:10,977.5085613 They know what they're doing. 102 00:10:11,7.5085613 --> 00:10:12,610.84089463 they're pouring their own cereal. 103 00:10:12,610.84189463 --> 00:10:13,640.84189463 They're brushing their own teeth. 104 00:10:13,650.84189464 --> 00:10:14,830.84089464 They're packing their own bag. 105 00:10:14,830.84089464 --> 00:10:15,950.84189464 They're cleaning their own room. 106 00:10:16,290.84189463 --> 00:10:19,780.84289463 And I'm cleaning up dog throw up, everyone's doing what they're supposed to be doing. 107 00:10:19,840.84289463 --> 00:10:25,520.84289463 If five out of six are doing what they're supposed to be doing, even four out of six, praise God, we're moving, that's a success. 108 00:10:25,520.94289463 --> 00:10:30,530.84339463 That's a win, same with evening routines and the chore charts. 109 00:10:30,530.84339463 --> 00:10:35,253.01024246 So those were three that kind of had to do with the kids that really changed my life. 110 00:10:35,263.01024246 --> 00:10:37,913.57274246 And those are also three things that I. 111 00:10:38,32.90480768 --> 00:10:43,612.90480768 format for my foster families so that they can create that structure in their home as well. 112 00:10:43,982.90480768 --> 00:10:45,652.90480768 Okay, that's great. 113 00:10:46,222.90480768 --> 00:11:08,34.3032642 And so what about Katie's rhythm or morning routine? Yeah, so my rhythms that have really helped my brain, my husband basically just split up responsibilities in our home instead of being like, I have 50 things that me and Nick are both in charge of and hopefully someone will get it done. 114 00:11:08,134.3032642 --> 00:11:13,224.3032642 Instead of that dinner was like the top stressful thing. 115 00:11:13,294.3032642 --> 00:11:15,404.3032642 I don't enjoy cooking. 116 00:11:15,434.3032642 --> 00:11:16,924.3032642 I'm not super great at it. 117 00:11:17,124.3032642 --> 00:11:21,604.3032642 I've tried every meal prep plan, blah, blah, blah, all the things. 118 00:11:21,644.3022642 --> 00:11:24,740.96893087 And it was still getting to the point every day at 5 PM. 119 00:11:24,740.96993087 --> 00:11:31,0.96993087 I'm like, what do people eat? Oh my gosh, why can I not get this? You know, and then I'm stressed about it. 120 00:11:31,370.96993087 --> 00:11:46,82.76993087 And so Nick does food now he does the food it's been so cool because it's been life giving for him and it's been life giving for me because I don't have to think about it and someone's serving me food. 121 00:11:46,497.76993087 --> 00:11:47,277.76993087 At dinner time. 122 00:11:47,467.76993087 --> 00:11:49,627.76993087 it's made me so grateful for him. 123 00:11:49,627.76993087 --> 00:11:52,227.76993087 every day like, oh my gosh, you're amazing. 124 00:11:52,257.76993087 --> 00:11:54,87.76993087 How are you doing this? This is so great. 125 00:11:54,117.76993087 --> 00:11:55,557.76993087 I can't even believe you made this. 126 00:11:55,557.76993087 --> 00:11:57,597.76993087 And he's feeling encouraged by that. 127 00:11:58,77.76993087 --> 00:11:59,677.76993087 And he's, having fun with it. 128 00:11:59,677.76993087 --> 00:12:05,997.76893087 Like, how cheap can our family of ate eat? And I took cleaning off of the plate. 129 00:12:05,997.76993087 --> 00:12:23,43.63804681 I kind of oversee the chores, but I also have like a cleaning schedule that I made I set aside in my day So That has helped a ton and that was my mom's idea after seeing me hit rock bottom at one point, so she was just like, okay, we need to help this. 130 00:12:23,43.63804681 --> 00:12:27,963.63704681 So that is a piece of, community coming in and being like, let me help you with this. 131 00:12:28,93.63704681 --> 00:12:33,53.63704681 Let me help Think through this and come up with some ideas that are workable Sometimes you can't see it. 132 00:12:33,103.63704681 --> 00:12:35,383.63704681 So you've got community and another thing. 133 00:12:36,453.63704681 --> 00:12:41,58.63704681 So I have this white chair and my kids know that they can't sit in that. 134 00:12:41,58.63704681 --> 00:12:42,48.63704681 That's mom's white chair. 135 00:12:42,48.63704681 --> 00:12:47,118.63704681 And I just have a little table with a stack of books next to it, and that's where I do all of my journaling and reading my Bible. 136 00:12:47,813.63704681 --> 00:12:52,563.63704681 and typically do that before the kids are awake, because I can beat the crowd. 137 00:12:52,943.63704681 --> 00:12:54,223.63704681 Sometimes it doesn't work out. 138 00:12:54,223.63804681 --> 00:12:55,73.63704681 Sometimes it does. 139 00:12:55,123.63804681 --> 00:13:00,273.63804681 so that's something That you've worked into your rhythm of life. 140 00:13:00,393.63804681 --> 00:13:02,643.63804681 Yeah, it just starts my day off better. 141 00:13:02,953.63804681 --> 00:13:20,13.63804681 But just to kind of start off my day quiet and with this many kids, it's so easy for me, even as an extrovert to get so overstimulated with constant noise and questions there's some days where I'll just go and like stare out the window I'm up and I'm alone. 142 00:13:20,453.63804681 --> 00:13:26,563.63804681 I had four kids and we had a basement and I'd be like, okay guys. 143 00:13:27,678.63804681 --> 00:13:37,198.63904681 I'm going downstairs and shutting the door, the boys can watch a movie and I put music on and I would just go lay on the floor to get. 144 00:13:37,418.63904681 --> 00:13:39,378.63904681 myself back together again. 145 00:13:39,518.63904681 --> 00:13:40,488.63904681 It's a little reset. 146 00:13:40,648.63904681 --> 00:13:50,568.63904681 So resets are important and what is the funnest part of your life right now? Oh my gosh. 147 00:13:51,528.63804681 --> 00:14:01,348.63804681 My kids are all in, different activities and that kind of thing and watching them come alive in their things. 148 00:14:01,883.63804681 --> 00:14:07,163.63804681 Has just been so much more magical than I ever could have imagined. 149 00:14:07,443.63804681 --> 00:14:09,233.63804681 I'm just like, you're amazing. 150 00:14:09,243.63804681 --> 00:14:18,833.63804681 seeing them come alive in these activities and then perform for us at home and laugh together and be able, you know, hearing them compliment one another. 151 00:14:19,263.63804681 --> 00:14:21,813.63804681 It's just been so fun. 152 00:14:22,143.63804681 --> 00:14:22,573.63804681 So fun. 153 00:14:23,743.63804681 --> 00:14:24,193.63804681 Yeah. 154 00:14:24,963.63804681 --> 00:14:30,226.97138014 So where's the Welch family going to be five years from now? Oh my goodness. 155 00:14:30,330.30371348 --> 00:14:32,850.30371348 there'll be nine to seventeen. 156 00:14:32,850.30371348 --> 00:14:37,400.30471347 So we'll be getting ready to launch our first oldest into the world. 157 00:14:37,900.30471347 --> 00:14:38,490.30471348 I don't know. 158 00:14:38,626.97138014 --> 00:15:00,195.30471348 It's interesting because with foster care, You can have kind of outlines of a dream life, but nothing is really set in stone with foster care because like, I could lose four of my kids, the dreams are kind of like, if they stay, then it could look like this, or if they leave, then it would look like this. 159 00:15:00,361.97138014 --> 00:15:07,535.30371348 I know for sure that we'll still be cheering our kids on and whatever that could look like, we're still going to love Jesus. 160 00:15:07,885.30371348 --> 00:15:14,115.30271348 We'll still be, you know, carting our kids around to their events and that will bring joy. 161 00:15:14,525.30271348 --> 00:15:17,795.30271348 And we'll see what the Lord has for us, we'll figure it out. 162 00:15:17,805.30271348 --> 00:15:18,385.30271348 it's hard. 163 00:15:18,385.30271348 --> 00:15:20,220.20371348 Cause a lot of fear can creep in. 164 00:15:20,220.20371348 --> 00:15:23,280.20371348 he's been good before and he'll still be good then. 165 00:15:23,620.20371348 --> 00:15:24,770.20371348 And we'll be okay. 166 00:15:25,20.20371348 --> 00:15:32,780.20371348 That's not as fun as we're going to be this big happy family forever and ever, there is this big question mark of a massive grief. 167 00:15:33,113.53704681 --> 00:15:40,406.87038014 when You foster, you're kind of signing up for the awareness that this could be, a part of the journey. 168 00:15:40,446.87038014 --> 00:15:40,826.87038014 Yeah. 169 00:15:41,176.86938014 --> 00:15:55,576.87238014 And, even if my kids do stay all in this home when you're raising kids that have come from really hard places your expectations and dreams for them do shift and change you're just more open handed. 170 00:15:55,576.87238014 --> 00:16:00,786.87238014 their hearts and brains have experienced so much more than my biological kids. 171 00:16:01,186.87238014 --> 00:16:04,510.78064101 my prayer for them is always Lord, whatever you want for them. 172 00:16:04,634.08569536 --> 00:16:10,62.29304319 And that may be different from what I want for them or what I expect for them. 173 00:16:10,442.29304318 --> 00:16:12,462.29204318 And I think fostering really. 174 00:16:12,892.29304318 --> 00:16:16,762.29204318 Helps you trust the Lord with your kids so much because. 175 00:16:16,877.29304318 --> 00:16:21,347.29304318 The idea that they're not yours is just always in your head. 176 00:16:21,647.29304318 --> 00:16:26,537.29204318 it's really shifted my perspective about my biological kids too. 177 00:16:26,537.29204318 --> 00:16:27,797.29104318 they're all the Lords. 178 00:16:28,0.62437652 --> 00:16:33,790.62537652 All of my kids are his and they could all leave tomorrow in some way or another. 179 00:16:34,210.62537652 --> 00:16:36,890.62537652 If tragedy struck I have to still trust the lord. 180 00:16:36,920.62537652 --> 00:16:54,174.0297243 I still will wake up tomorrow And the Lord will still be good and I'll still have to figure it out it will suck, but we'll figure it out, I don't feel like I worry about their futures because I just am like, who knows? you have four foster girls. 181 00:16:54,289.0297243 --> 00:17:08,895.694391 who have experienced trauma, how do you as a parent help your children who have lived through trauma? a huge part of it is being trauma informed, you know, just do as much. 182 00:17:09,550.695391 --> 00:17:27,244.0297243 Research and reading about the brain and how trauma affects the brain and what could that look like in behavior and what's the best way to respond to that? It's just so different than a normal, typical parental reaction, that's the biggest thing. 183 00:17:27,584.0297243 --> 00:17:33,414.0287243 And letting go of control of this perfectionism, parenting it's just gonna look different. 184 00:17:33,489.1287243 --> 00:17:36,899.0287243 You have to be flexible. 185 00:17:36,949.0287243 --> 00:17:44,939.2895939 when you are parenting kids from trauma, you have no idea what's going to trigger them when it's going to happen and what that's going to look like. 186 00:17:44,949.2895939 --> 00:17:48,869.2895939 so a lot of days are just not what you expect them to be. 187 00:17:48,899.2895939 --> 00:17:49,269.2895939 that. 188 00:17:49,492.4601779 --> 00:18:06,862.4591779 Is really stressful and it's really hard to keep yourself regulated your nervous system regulated can anything just go right? like, can you just go with the flow for a minute here? But if you don't have structures in place and there's nothing to fall back on in that moment. 189 00:18:07,132.4591779 --> 00:18:13,882.4581779 if you're dealing with this massive trauma meltdown and you end up having to restrain this kid, cause they're hurting other people. 190 00:18:14,422.4581779 --> 00:18:29,82.4591779 You need your other kids to business as usual, instead of Mom, what are you doing in there? What, what are we supposed to be doing out here? No, like get ready for school, just like normal, you know, morning routine of the systems. 191 00:18:29,132.4591779 --> 00:18:46,707.4606779 being trauma informed, being flexible, letting go of control is there secondary trauma, similar to what my boys have been through, the sibling of someone who's experienced trauma because they've had to see and and learn a lot more than what I would expose them to otherwise. 192 00:18:46,817.4606779 --> 00:18:50,827.4616779 And the biggest feedback that we get about them. 193 00:18:50,932.4616779 --> 00:19:01,12.4606779 Is they're the most empathetic kids, their teachers and their friends, parents are like, your boys are just so empathetic. 194 00:19:01,62.4606779 --> 00:19:02,512.4616779 Nothing surprises them. 195 00:19:02,522.4606779 --> 00:19:33,462.6370402 If someone has a crazy, outburst in class the boys are the ones going over there and saying Man, so hard when something happens that you don't expect or man, it's, it sucks to have to leave fun places because they've heard this their whole life and it's nothing we've even done to teach that it's just growing up seeing people that they love have to experience and process really difficult things and them just kind of growing up alongside that you're a different person when you see people who are hurting. 196 00:19:33,679.3037069 --> 00:20:10,682.3910765 Yeah, well, I showed a study in a workshop that I facilitate, but it was done by Harvard, 10, 000 adolescents and they're asked across 33 demographics, one of the questions is, what is the most important thing? For you as you move into, adulthood and they put high achievement as number one and number two is their happiness and number three has to do with Showing compassion and serving others the same kids say that that's what parents think are most important. 197 00:20:11,52.3910765 --> 00:20:19,932.3900765 So they're getting this message from parents that high achievement is the highest goal, right, and that their happiness. 198 00:20:20,372.3910765 --> 00:20:36,924.62812 And then compassion towards others but the studies show that when we, as parents help our children have compassion, have the empathy, then they are more successful and they are happier individuals. 199 00:20:37,22.3987721 --> 00:20:41,918.7857287 compassion and kindness is the cornerstone of your family. 200 00:20:41,968.7857287 --> 00:20:47,588.7847287 And so your boys are naturally that way out in the world that they're in. 201 00:20:47,928.7847287 --> 00:20:58,281.7641634 So, yeah, what we model for our kids is so much more important, even than what we say to them, because they're going to do what we do. 202 00:20:58,281.7641634 --> 00:20:59,791.7631634 my kids see what we're doing. 203 00:20:59,801.7631634 --> 00:21:01,181.7631634 They see how we're treating. 204 00:21:01,368.1173929 --> 00:21:08,990.9804113 Other people or our spouse, they see our inner dialogue that we have, they see that play out in our lives. 205 00:21:08,990.9804113 --> 00:21:27,490.9814113 And that has been so, I mean, that's why it's so important to go to therapy and work on your own stuff first, because whoever you are, your kids will be that, you know, it'll be that that's like the core values and. 206 00:21:28,95.9814113 --> 00:21:38,495.9814113 Characteristics that they are going to display period, whether you say that, Hey, you're going to want to be a perfectionist and achieve everything to the best of your ability. 207 00:21:38,495.9814113 --> 00:21:39,655.9804113 Otherwise you're a failure. 208 00:21:39,665.9814113 --> 00:21:41,305.9814113 Like you'd never say that to your kid. 209 00:21:41,505.9814113 --> 00:21:41,945.9814113 Right. 210 00:21:42,185.9804113 --> 00:21:44,295.9814113 That's the expectation you have for yourself. 211 00:21:44,354.3147446 --> 00:22:04,312.6480779 They're going to see that and they're going to feel the same way I learned that as a mom I was like Oh, I don't have to look any further than right here At me, when I see behaviors that I don't want in my kids, they were always a really good mirror for me to look at my stuff. 212 00:22:04,362.6480779 --> 00:22:05,822.6480779 it is super humbling. 213 00:22:06,768.7195832 --> 00:22:11,105.3862499 Something I've been doing with my kids is telling them what I'm working on. 214 00:22:11,125.3862499 --> 00:22:22,305.3872499 And I said, And I used to not think that I was a perfectionist because I'm ADD and I'm kind of nuts and my purse is a mess and everything's crazy, but I'm a perfectionist in all of these ways. 215 00:22:22,505.3872499 --> 00:22:23,995.3872499 And I was explaining that to them. 216 00:22:23,995.3872499 --> 00:22:27,415.3872499 And so then when it comes out in me, I'll be like, see. 217 00:22:27,482.8200487 --> 00:22:28,682.8200487 That's what I'm talking about. 218 00:22:28,692.8200487 --> 00:22:46,123.0825477 And that's what the Lord's convicting me of because I don't need to be like that because my worth has nothing to do with my achievement when I see them doing that, I can say, Hey, remember I'm working on this too, instead of being like, okay, I'm your mom and I have everything together and you don't. 219 00:22:46,143.0835477 --> 00:22:50,412.9825477 And so I have to teach you how to do it all We're all still learning. 220 00:22:50,413.0825477 --> 00:22:53,613.0825477 We're still working on us, right? Forever and ever. 221 00:22:53,943.0825477 --> 00:23:08,536.3847216 How do you define the difference between rest and just taking a break? This one's tough because sometimes When I'm exhausted, I just want to check out and that's really different than soul rest. 222 00:23:08,697.2090161 --> 00:23:11,797.2090161 Scrolling on my phone or just like binging Netflix. 223 00:23:11,807.2090161 --> 00:23:21,884.3340161 Not that it's never okay to do that, but coping with things or numbing out instead of actually allowing yourself to rest. 224 00:23:21,997.2537284 --> 00:23:23,217.2537284 Rest is intentional. 225 00:23:23,347.713511 --> 00:23:34,931.6630554 you walk away from it feeling restored or more whole, you know whereas taking a break I'm going to take a five minute break and I'm going to scroll social media because I want to catch up on stuff. 226 00:23:35,301.6630554 --> 00:23:46,311.6620554 knowing that's not going to nourish me, social media is not going to help me to slow down or be recentered or, find rhythms of focus or energy. 227 00:23:46,411.6620554 --> 00:23:48,101.6620554 rest is going to be different for everybody. 228 00:23:48,101.6620554 --> 00:23:51,361.6620554 Some people feel incredibly rested after they take a run. 229 00:23:51,631.6620554 --> 00:23:53,771.6620554 it's really noticing in yourself. 230 00:23:53,938.3176945 --> 00:24:13,490.2357425 After I scroll on social media, what do I feel? How am I feeling? Am I feeling restored? Do I feel encouraged? Do I feel jealous? I hear you talking, I'm thinking, what's the end goal? I, what do I want to come out of this time with? bring renewal to my soul. 231 00:24:13,663.5690759 --> 00:24:16,763.5690759 saying I need to regulate my nervous system right now. 232 00:24:16,888.6322338 --> 00:24:26,898.6332338 So I look at Katie's life I'm on the outside looking in you have a very successful nonprofit that you have developed and continues to grow. 233 00:24:26,948.6332338 --> 00:24:28,798.6332338 that's a whole business. 234 00:24:28,868.6332338 --> 00:24:31,248.6332338 You're engaged with the families. 235 00:24:31,343.6332338 --> 00:24:33,133.6332338 You build community. 236 00:24:33,276.9665671 --> 00:24:42,306.9655671 You have a beautiful family who laughs together, plays together, loves each other, probably fights together and works through it. 237 00:24:42,466.9665671 --> 00:24:46,886.9660671 You have a marriage for over 15 years. 238 00:24:47,266.9660671 --> 00:24:48,736.9660671 You love Jesus. 239 00:24:49,246.9660671 --> 00:25:01,736.9650671 You know, if the people listening to this podcast could see you, you're a beautiful, vibrant, lovely woman who rocks the vintage clothing like no one I know. 240 00:25:01,766.9660671 --> 00:25:08,118.6327338 So what do you attribute your success to? Oh my gosh. 241 00:25:08,245.2994004 --> 00:25:11,375.2994004 First of all, very, very generous, kind words. 242 00:25:11,568.6327338 --> 00:25:12,228.6327338 So thank you. 243 00:25:12,228.6327338 --> 00:25:38,35.2984004 But I mean, just Jesus really, like it is a thousand percent, this Slow and steady, failing, getting back up, putting systems in place that might help me to fail less, failing again, getting back up, just constantly like needing the Lord, you know and trying to set myself up for success in, in all the things that I'm doing, but just constantly failing. 244 00:25:38,85.2984004 --> 00:25:42,665.2994004 it's almost like funny hearing you say all of that because it's like. 245 00:25:43,345.3994004 --> 00:25:46,885.2994004 Oh, oof, that is an illusion, ma'am. 246 00:25:46,935.3994004 --> 00:25:56,5.3994004 But then, you know, I mean, I step back sometimes too, and I look at my kids and our life, and I'm just like, I could just like burst because it's so good. 247 00:25:56,605.3994004 --> 00:26:00,869.9032636 And then there's moments where I'm like crying on the shower floor. 248 00:26:00,869.9032636 --> 00:26:14,185.2626056 saying, what am I going to do? This is such a mess, I think that's just the life, right? that's the beautiful, tragic humanity, Katie You exude peace. 249 00:26:14,235.2626056 --> 00:26:23,15.2616056 Whatever your systems are doing and the rhythm of rest that you've worked into life, it's affecting the atmosphere around you. 250 00:26:23,15.2616056 --> 00:26:24,755.2616056 So keep at it. 251 00:26:25,191.9282723 --> 00:26:27,791.9282723 Katie, I know you have the nonprofit. 252 00:26:27,851.9282723 --> 00:26:33,31.9282723 called foster light, where you support foster care families. 253 00:26:33,561.9282723 --> 00:26:37,41.9282723 And so I'd love for you to share the website. 254 00:26:37,91.9272723 --> 00:26:39,661.9282723 And I'm sure many moms identified with. 255 00:26:39,911.9282723 --> 00:26:49,961.9282723 Being on the floor in the shower and just even how to start to set up systems But I would love for you to let people know if they can reach you through the website or how they can. 256 00:26:50,601.9272723 --> 00:26:51,1.9282723 Yeah, totally. 257 00:26:51,1.9282723 --> 00:26:53,761.9282723 So Fosterlight is just fosterlight. 258 00:26:54,31.9282723 --> 00:26:54,491.9282723 co. 259 00:26:54,781.9282723 --> 00:26:55,631.9282723 That's our website. 260 00:26:55,651.9282723 --> 00:26:57,41.9282723 That's our Instagram. 261 00:26:57,751.9282723 --> 00:26:59,651.9282723 That's where you can find us on Facebook too. 262 00:26:59,651.9282723 --> 00:27:02,111.9282723 I'm all about morning routines and chore charts. 263 00:27:02,111.9282723 --> 00:27:04,465.8058233 And I mean, they saved, they saved my soul. 264 00:27:05,335.8058233 --> 00:27:08,836.4185682 So good to be with you Thank you so much for making time. 265 00:27:08,836.4185682 --> 00:27:11,206.4180682 I know it's very, very valuable to you. 266 00:27:11,206.4180682 --> 00:27:25,416.3185682 I just want to say real quick, I've so enjoyed listening to your podcast and meeting with you in person is such a gift, but the extension of that is getting to listen to your podcast and be so encouraged you're just such a light. 267 00:27:25,636.3185682 --> 00:27:28,126.3185682 And I know so many other women feel that way. 268 00:27:28,126.3185682 --> 00:27:36,409.6519015 I get so excited when I see one of your episodes coming out because I leave them feeling encouraged and lighter That is so kind. 269 00:27:36,409.6519015 --> 00:27:37,489.6519015 I'm working. 270 00:27:37,539.6519015 --> 00:27:44,632.9852349 receiving kindness, and those were very, very generous and kind words full of life. 271 00:27:44,652.9842349 --> 00:27:45,892.9832349 so thank you. 272 00:27:45,902.9842349 --> 00:27:48,452.9842349 That means so much to my heart. 273 00:27:49,296.6899947 --> 00:27:53,256.6899947 Wow, what an incredible conversation with Katie. 274 00:27:53,447.4202417 --> 00:27:57,457.4202417 She reminded us that structure isn't about control. 275 00:27:57,623.2051354 --> 00:28:04,603.6152037 It's about creating peace, and let's be real, peace in a mom's world is priceless. 276 00:28:04,750.2818703 --> 00:28:06,320.2818703 But don't just listen. 277 00:28:06,403.6152037 --> 00:28:07,883.6152037 You can take action. 278 00:28:07,988.6152037 --> 00:28:10,728.6152037 Here is one thing you can try this week. 279 00:28:10,868.4972082 --> 00:28:13,798.4972082 Take a look at one chaotic part of your day. 280 00:28:13,890.1762892 --> 00:28:18,386.8429558 Maybe it's your mornings, dinnertime, or even bedtime. 281 00:28:18,463.5096225 --> 00:28:21,233.5086225 Put a simple system in place. 282 00:28:21,293.5096225 --> 00:28:25,433.5086225 Now, it doesn't have to be perfect, just intentional. 283 00:28:25,873.5086225 --> 00:28:33,968.7654524 Ask yourself, What is one small rhythm I can create to bring more peace to this moment. 284 00:28:34,78.7654524 --> 00:28:36,648.7654524 And don't forget Katie's chore chart system. 285 00:28:36,748.7654524 --> 00:28:39,708.7654524 It is available for you to download. 286 00:28:40,48.7654524 --> 00:28:44,248.7654524 It's a great starting point for creating order in your home. 287 00:28:44,345.4321191 --> 00:28:48,45.4321191 You can get it now at momtomommentoring. 288 00:28:48,95.4321191 --> 00:28:51,25.4321191 com backslash chores. 289 00:28:51,110.4321191 --> 00:28:58,170.4321191 And if you're listening and thinking, Misty, I love this idea, but I don't even know where to start. 290 00:28:58,460.4321191 --> 00:28:59,980.4321191 You are not alone. 291 00:29:00,390.4321191 --> 00:29:04,580.4321191 That's exactly why I offer coaching for busy moms like you. 292 00:29:04,700.4321191 --> 00:29:11,540.4321191 Together, we can create a system that works for your family, your life, and your season. 293 00:29:11,657.0987858 --> 00:29:12,557.0987858 Let's chat. 294 00:29:12,670.4321191 --> 00:29:18,200.4321191 You can book a free 20 minute call to take the first step toward peace and balance. 295 00:29:18,317.0987858 --> 00:29:19,577.0987858 Just go to Mom2MomMentoring. 296 00:29:21,317.0987858 --> 00:29:23,967.0987858 com backslash call. 297 00:29:24,43.7654524 --> 00:29:35,141.3012549 And you'll get a link for a 20 minute free call where we can discover if coaching is right for you in this time and season of your life. 298 00:29:35,243.6716253 --> 00:29:47,461.4582796 And mom, if today's episode encouraged you Would you take a minute to share it with a friend who needs a little bit more calm in her chaos? And if you haven't yet, leave a quick review. 299 00:29:47,526.5506376 --> 00:29:55,229.7852055 It helps more moms just like you find the encouragement and practical tools for their everyday lives. 300 00:29:55,318.7185389 --> 00:30:01,298.7195389 Remember mom, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too.
Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes. 2 00:00:03,272.0839775425 --> 00:00:05,912.0839775425 It affects us all in different ways. 3 00:00:05,986.4364879193 --> 00:00:18,73.513553091 When the trauma of abandonment and divorce hit our family, I would fall into my bed night after night, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. 4 00:00:18,228.940631281 --> 00:00:26,91.989316494 I understood what David meant in Psalm 6 6, where he said, I am weary with my groaning. 5 00:00:26,148.61375069 --> 00:00:37,541.971912614 Every night I make my bed swim, I drench my couch with my tears, I was a sobbing, broken mess. 6 00:00:37,708.38646169 --> 00:00:55,248.38646169 Beloved mom, if you've ever felt like you're drowning in the demands of daily life, and in your tears, whether it's keeping up with the kids, managing a home, juggling work, or forbid, navigating your family through any kind of trauma. 7 00:00:55,385.053128357 --> 00:00:57,975.053128357 Today's episode is just for you. 8 00:00:58,45.163923363 --> 00:01:14,971.828590029 My guest, friend, and all around marvelous mom, Katie Welch, is a mom of six, a non profit founder, a woman who has navigated and is navigating the chaos, the beauty, the traumatic and the heart of foster care. 9 00:01:15,165.161923363 --> 00:01:24,75.161923363 Katie is a sunshine loving, vintage enthusiast who believes in finding light, even in the darkest moments. 10 00:01:24,555.161923363 --> 00:01:37,609.258145585 After 14 years of education, Katie founded Foster Light, a non profit that supports foster parents in creating sustainable, nurturing homes for foster youth. 11 00:01:37,710.478281387 --> 00:01:46,710.47728139 Katie and her husband Nick have been married for almost 16 years and half of that time they've been doing foster care together. 12 00:01:47,490.47828139 --> 00:01:58,750.47828139 Whether Katie is wrangling kids, running a nonprofit, or having a kitchen dance party, her mission is to bring light to the world encourage others to do the same. 13 00:01:58,770.47828139 --> 00:02:12,270.47828139 She's here to share the messy and the miracles of life and the practical systems and rhythms that have transformed her home from overwhelming to somewhat peaceful and structured. 14 00:02:12,680.47828139 --> 00:02:22,420.37878139 And trust me, you're going to want to grab her chore chart system, you today at momtomommentoring. 15 00:02:22,490.37878139 --> 00:02:25,590.37878139 com backslash chores. 16 00:02:26,10.37878139 --> 00:02:33,650.37778139 Because let's be honest, anything that makes your mornings run smoother is worth it. 17 00:02:34,120.37778139 --> 00:02:38,0.37878139 You'll hear more about this system in today's episode with Katie. 18 00:02:38,379.9406102 --> 00:02:41,879.9406102 it's super easy as moms to be like, I don't have time for that. 19 00:02:41,879.9406102 --> 00:02:42,899.9406102 I'm too busy to sleep. 20 00:02:42,919.9406102 --> 00:02:43,929.9406102 My kids don't sleep. 21 00:02:43,939.9406102 --> 00:02:45,939.9406102 I'll, just come up with all these excuses. 22 00:02:46,56.60827687 --> 00:02:56,833.27494353 And I used to do that a lot, but I got to the point where I was like, okay, well, I either schedule it in, or I just cry on the floor of my shower every day. 23 00:02:56,833.27494353 --> 00:03:02,88.27494353 Which one do I want to do? if that doesn't hit home, I don't know what does. 24 00:03:02,608.27494353 --> 00:03:10,898.27394353 Katie knows the struggle and she's figured out some practical ways to stop the overwhelm before it takes over. 25 00:03:11,208.27494353 --> 00:03:12,298.27494353 So grab your coffee. 26 00:03:12,478.27494353 --> 00:03:24,278.27494353 Settle in and get ready for a conversation that will inspire you, equip you, and remind you that peace is possible, even in the busiest seasons. 27 00:03:25,57.96429049 --> 00:03:31,594.28112636 Katie, tell us a little bit about your life as a mom right now. 28 00:03:31,884.28112636 --> 00:03:35,144.28112636 right now I have six kiddos. 29 00:03:35,194.28112636 --> 00:03:38,334.28112636 They range from age four up to 12. 30 00:03:38,505.78283228 --> 00:03:41,755.78283228 Four of them are in foster care and their sisters. 31 00:03:41,895.50268402 --> 00:03:44,145.50268402 And then two of them are biological. 32 00:03:44,580.50268402 --> 00:03:50,150.50268402 Boys, I also have a Nonprofit that supports foster families. 33 00:03:50,310.50268402 --> 00:03:55,698.03349329 So my life oscillates between all of that you are a business woman. 34 00:03:55,708.03449329 --> 00:04:01,198.03449329 You have founded and developed a business, a nonprofit business. 35 00:04:01,301.36782663 --> 00:04:05,941.36782663 you are working as well as raising six kids. 36 00:04:06,28.03449329 --> 00:04:24,921.36782663 what would you say right now is your biggest challenge? The biggest challenge right now is prioritizing my mental and emotional health so that I can be available mentally, emotionally, physically spiritually available for. 37 00:04:25,23.03449329 --> 00:04:29,236.36782663 My life for my kids for my husband and for my job. 38 00:04:29,386.36782663 --> 00:04:33,949.70015996 So what are you finding is working? Yeah. 39 00:04:34,29.70115996 --> 00:04:39,359.70015996 It's the tale as old as time, right? You know, just trying to fill your own cup so you can pour into other people. 40 00:04:39,409.70015996 --> 00:04:49,784.78824413 I think, putting structure around it is the most important part for me, at least when you have such a busy schedule, it's so easy to get lost in it. 41 00:04:49,908.12157746 --> 00:04:59,908.12207746 It's easy to, get to the end of a month and think, gosh, I haven't done anything for myself or I haven't done anything life giving this month for me, unless you put it in your schedule. 42 00:04:59,981.45541079 --> 00:05:02,328.12207746 I just have to literally. 43 00:05:02,404.78874413 --> 00:05:04,374.78874413 Mark it into my calendar. 44 00:05:04,594.78874413 --> 00:05:09,428.12207746 The different things that feel life giving to me and it's different things in different seasons. 45 00:05:09,808.12207746 --> 00:05:14,108.12307746 that used to stress me out to think about putting stuff like that in my calendar. 46 00:05:14,108.12307746 --> 00:05:21,68.12307746 Like I want it to be more fluid than that but this is not the season of my life where things are organic. 47 00:05:21,88.12307746 --> 00:05:23,878.12307746 You know, there's a lot in my life that I can't control. 48 00:05:24,228.12307746 --> 00:05:30,568.12307746 And so I have to kind of put systems in place to take care of myself. 49 00:05:30,978.12307746 --> 00:05:35,248.12207746 Because if I don't, it's just not going to get done and then I'm going to get burned out and exhausted. 50 00:05:35,248.12207746 --> 00:05:39,628.12307746 And then I'm going to be a monster to my kids and my husband, and I'm not going to do good at anything. 51 00:05:39,918.12307746 --> 00:05:50,461.45541079 I just have to schedule So how do you even find time to schedule anything in? you just make time for what feels important to you. 52 00:05:50,568.12207746 --> 00:05:54,68.12207746 it's super easy as moms to be like, I don't have time for that. 53 00:05:54,68.12207746 --> 00:05:55,88.12207746 I'm too busy to sleep. 54 00:05:55,108.12207746 --> 00:05:56,118.12207746 My kids don't sleep. 55 00:05:56,128.12207746 --> 00:05:58,128.12207746 I'll, just come up with all these excuses. 56 00:05:58,244.78974413 --> 00:06:09,21.45641079 And I used to do that a lot, but I got to the point where I was like, okay, well, I either schedule it in, or I just cry on the floor of my shower every day. 57 00:06:09,21.45641079 --> 00:06:13,871.45641079 Which one do I want to do? for a while it was like, okay, I'll just get up earlier. 58 00:06:13,911.45541079 --> 00:06:18,311.45641079 But then I was getting like four hours of sleep and that was making me a crazy person too. 59 00:06:18,561.45641079 --> 00:06:32,347.61108471 for me in this season it's going to be like small daily rhythms that are ongoing they might be tiny, or not take very much time, but they are just rhythms. 60 00:06:32,612.61108471 --> 00:06:40,652.61108471 Keep me alive, keep me going, keep me loving my life, keep me rested so that I am. 61 00:06:41,437.61108471 --> 00:06:44,967.61108471 Pouring into my kids and being like, look at life, look at God. 62 00:06:44,977.61108471 --> 00:06:46,17.61108471 Isn't this so great. 63 00:06:46,27.61108471 --> 00:06:49,727.61108471 Instead of rushing around the house being like, Oh my gosh, this is such a nightmare. 64 00:06:49,777.61108471 --> 00:07:09,234.05925373 can you just follow directions for like once, like rage clean around the house It's not like I'm always happy and great but these rhythms or, structure that I've set in place has drastically changed my mental health, So this wasn't just a natural thing you started to do when you became mom of six kids. 65 00:07:09,694.05925373 --> 00:07:13,659.8755571 This is something that you hit a crisis point. 66 00:07:13,876.48968753 --> 00:07:16,536.48968753 I would say like multiple crisis points. 67 00:07:16,596.48868753 --> 00:07:18,906.48868753 we had two biological kids. 68 00:07:19,321.48968753 --> 00:07:22,331.48968753 And then we got three foster kids at the same time. 69 00:07:22,691.48968753 --> 00:07:26,31.48968753 And so we went from two to five and we had five kids under five. 70 00:07:26,31.48968753 --> 00:07:29,521.48918753 And I was in grad school to be a principal and I was teaching full time. 71 00:07:29,521.48918753 --> 00:07:32,619.17422797 And my husband was in grad school and we look back on that season. 72 00:07:32,619.17422797 --> 00:07:38,679.17322797 And I'm like, how in the world did we survive? Like none of the children could do anything by themselves. 73 00:07:39,294.17422797 --> 00:07:42,494.17522797 after a while I kind of hit a wall where I was like, Oh my gosh, I can't do this. 74 00:07:42,504.17422797 --> 00:07:44,984.17472797 And so then specific systems would go into place. 75 00:07:44,984.17472797 --> 00:07:46,514.17522797 And then it would be like, okay. 76 00:07:46,514.17522797 --> 00:07:53,574.17522797 Here's another piece that's really stressing me out of like, here's the top five things That feel massively overwhelming to me right now. 77 00:07:53,660.84189463 --> 00:08:10,170.84089463 How can I solve this? Like what can I put into place for this to feel easier or more life giving? what are some systems? I mean, that sounds very business management, right? Which is not how I normally function at all. 78 00:08:10,250.84089463 --> 00:08:23,10.84189463 but when you have a life as busy as mine or as many kids as I do, or as many kids with trauma in your home as I do it just helps my brain and it helps their brains if we just have systems in place. 79 00:08:23,120.84189463 --> 00:08:26,590.84089463 Mornings just felt so overwhelming bedtimes felt really stressful. 80 00:08:26,620.84089463 --> 00:08:28,550.84089463 my house being a mess felt really stressful. 81 00:08:28,820.84089463 --> 00:08:35,630.84089463 Something that's changed our life drastically is like morning routine, evening routine and chore chart. 82 00:08:35,800.84089464 --> 00:08:41,880.84139463 this one time I went have you brushed your teeth? Is your bag packed? What are you doing? We're supposed to be getting ready for school. 83 00:08:41,880.84139463 --> 00:08:49,370.84139463 And you're talking about this one time we went to worlds of fun six months ago, just feeling frustrated that it just felt out of control. 84 00:08:49,422.5080613 --> 00:09:06,292.5090613 And to have to remember what six kids need and like, okay, do you have your Chromebook as your backpack? Do you have a coat, gloves? Do you have a water bottle that's filled up? Do you have your red folder, your blue folder, your green folder? Do you have your library book? So on our morning routine has lists of what they need to do in the morning. 85 00:09:06,492.5090613 --> 00:09:09,232.5090613 It also has pictures on it for the kids that can't read yet. 86 00:09:09,345.84239463 --> 00:09:13,625.84239463 It has, is your backpack and it has lists of what needs to be in your backpack. 87 00:09:13,692.5090613 --> 00:09:20,622.5090613 So in the morning, I kind of can just bop around to everyone's room and see how it's going. 88 00:09:20,652.5090613 --> 00:09:28,852.5085613 How are we doing on morning routine? Morning routine? How's morning routine? Because then I'm not saying 85 things and my brain's going out of control. 89 00:09:28,852.5085613 --> 00:09:30,382.5085613 I'm saying morning routine. 90 00:09:30,792.5085613 --> 00:09:33,182.5085613 Something happens in the morning that's different. 91 00:09:33,192.5085613 --> 00:09:36,202.5085613 Like this morning, my dog threw up in four different rooms. 92 00:09:36,512.5085613 --> 00:09:39,332.5075613 we had tutoring drop off at 7 a. 93 00:09:39,332.5075613 --> 00:09:39,572.5075613 m. 94 00:09:39,582.5075613 --> 00:09:41,962.4575613 We had one bus comes at 7. 95 00:09:41,962.4575613 --> 00:09:41,962.5575613 30. 96 00:09:41,962.5575613 --> 00:09:43,942.5075613 One bus comes at 7. 97 00:09:43,942.6075613 --> 00:09:44,267.4075613 40. 98 00:09:44,647.5075613 --> 00:09:54,37.5075613 Choir pickup at 745 for a different kid, the other two kids bus at 830, and then I also pick up tutoring kid at 830 and take her to a different school. 99 00:09:54,287.5075613 --> 00:09:56,27.5085613 So that's all just Thursday mornings. 100 00:09:56,247.5075613 --> 00:10:09,717.5085613 So, if there was no structure in my morning, that would feel really stressful, like how am I supposed to keep that all together? But it's all on my calendar, listed And then when my dog throws up in four different rooms, my kids are all doing their morning routine. 101 00:10:09,887.5085613 --> 00:10:10,977.5085613 They know what they're doing. 102 00:10:11,7.5085613 --> 00:10:12,610.84089463 they're pouring their own cereal. 103 00:10:12,610.84189463 --> 00:10:13,640.84189463 They're brushing their own teeth. 104 00:10:13,650.84189464 --> 00:10:14,830.84089464 They're packing their own bag. 105 00:10:14,830.84089464 --> 00:10:15,950.84189464 They're cleaning their own room. 106 00:10:16,290.84189463 --> 00:10:19,780.84289463 And I'm cleaning up dog throw up, everyone's doing what they're supposed to be doing. 107 00:10:19,840.84289463 --> 00:10:25,520.84289463 If five out of six are doing what they're supposed to be doing, even four out of six, praise God, we're moving, that's a success. 108 00:10:25,520.94289463 --> 00:10:30,530.84339463 That's a win, same with evening routines and the chore charts. 109 00:10:30,530.84339463 --> 00:10:35,253.01024246 So those were three that kind of had to do with the kids that really changed my life. 110 00:10:35,263.01024246 --> 00:10:37,913.57274246 And those are also three things that I. 111 00:10:38,32.90480768 --> 00:10:43,612.90480768 format for my foster families so that they can create that structure in their home as well. 112 00:10:43,982.90480768 --> 00:10:45,652.90480768 Okay, that's great. 113 00:10:46,222.90480768 --> 00:11:08,34.3032642 And so what about Katie's rhythm or morning routine? Yeah, so my rhythms that have really helped my brain, my husband basically just split up responsibilities in our home instead of being like, I have 50 things that me and Nick are both in charge of and hopefully someone will get it done. 114 00:11:08,134.3032642 --> 00:11:13,224.3032642 Instead of that dinner was like the top stressful thing. 115 00:11:13,294.3032642 --> 00:11:15,404.3032642 I don't enjoy cooking. 116 00:11:15,434.3032642 --> 00:11:16,924.3032642 I'm not super great at it. 117 00:11:17,124.3032642 --> 00:11:21,604.3032642 I've tried every meal prep plan, blah, blah, blah, all the things. 118 00:11:21,644.3022642 --> 00:11:24,740.96893087 And it was still getting to the point every day at 5 PM. 119 00:11:24,740.96993087 --> 00:11:31,0.96993087 I'm like, what do people eat? Oh my gosh, why can I not get this? You know, and then I'm stressed about it. 120 00:11:31,370.96993087 --> 00:11:46,82.76993087 And so Nick does food now he does the food it's been so cool because it's been life giving for him and it's been life giving for me because I don't have to think about it and someone's serving me food. 121 00:11:46,497.76993087 --> 00:11:47,277.76993087 At dinner time. 122 00:11:47,467.76993087 --> 00:11:49,627.76993087 it's made me so grateful for him. 123 00:11:49,627.76993087 --> 00:11:52,227.76993087 every day like, oh my gosh, you're amazing. 124 00:11:52,257.76993087 --> 00:11:54,87.76993087 How are you doing this? This is so great. 125 00:11:54,117.76993087 --> 00:11:55,557.76993087 I can't even believe you made this. 126 00:11:55,557.76993087 --> 00:11:57,597.76993087 And he's feeling encouraged by that. 127 00:11:58,77.76993087 --> 00:11:59,677.76993087 And he's, having fun with it. 128 00:11:59,677.76993087 --> 00:12:05,997.76893087 Like, how cheap can our family of ate eat? And I took cleaning off of the plate. 129 00:12:05,997.76993087 --> 00:12:23,43.63804681 I kind of oversee the chores, but I also have like a cleaning schedule that I made I set aside in my day So That has helped a ton and that was my mom's idea after seeing me hit rock bottom at one point, so she was just like, okay, we need to help this. 130 00:12:23,43.63804681 --> 00:12:27,963.63704681 So that is a piece of, community coming in and being like, let me help you with this. 131 00:12:28,93.63704681 --> 00:12:33,53.63704681 Let me help Think through this and come up with some ideas that are workable Sometimes you can't see it. 132 00:12:33,103.63704681 --> 00:12:35,383.63704681 So you've got community and another thing. 133 00:12:36,453.63704681 --> 00:12:41,58.63704681 So I have this white chair and my kids know that they can't sit in that. 134 00:12:41,58.63704681 --> 00:12:42,48.63704681 That's mom's white chair. 135 00:12:42,48.63704681 --> 00:12:47,118.63704681 And I just have a little table with a stack of books next to it, and that's where I do all of my journaling and reading my Bible. 136 00:12:47,813.63704681 --> 00:12:52,563.63704681 and typically do that before the kids are awake, because I can beat the crowd. 137 00:12:52,943.63704681 --> 00:12:54,223.63704681 Sometimes it doesn't work out. 138 00:12:54,223.63804681 --> 00:12:55,73.63704681 Sometimes it does. 139 00:12:55,123.63804681 --> 00:13:00,273.63804681 so that's something That you've worked into your rhythm of life. 140 00:13:00,393.63804681 --> 00:13:02,643.63804681 Yeah, it just starts my day off better. 141 00:13:02,953.63804681 --> 00:13:20,13.63804681 But just to kind of start off my day quiet and with this many kids, it's so easy for me, even as an extrovert to get so overstimulated with constant noise and questions there's some days where I'll just go and like stare out the window I'm up and I'm alone. 142 00:13:20,453.63804681 --> 00:13:26,563.63804681 I had four kids and we had a basement and I'd be like, okay guys. 143 00:13:27,678.63804681 --> 00:13:37,198.63904681 I'm going downstairs and shutting the door, the boys can watch a movie and I put music on and I would just go lay on the floor to get. 144 00:13:37,418.63904681 --> 00:13:39,378.63904681 myself back together again. 145 00:13:39,518.63904681 --> 00:13:40,488.63904681 It's a little reset. 146 00:13:40,648.63904681 --> 00:13:50,568.63904681 So resets are important and what is the funnest part of your life right now? Oh my gosh. 147 00:13:51,528.63804681 --> 00:14:01,348.63804681 My kids are all in, different activities and that kind of thing and watching them come alive in their things. 148 00:14:01,883.63804681 --> 00:14:07,163.63804681 Has just been so much more magical than I ever could have imagined. 149 00:14:07,443.63804681 --> 00:14:09,233.63804681 I'm just like, you're amazing. 150 00:14:09,243.63804681 --> 00:14:18,833.63804681 seeing them come alive in these activities and then perform for us at home and laugh together and be able, you know, hearing them compliment one another. 151 00:14:19,263.63804681 --> 00:14:21,813.63804681 It's just been so fun. 152 00:14:22,143.63804681 --> 00:14:22,573.63804681 So fun. 153 00:14:23,743.63804681 --> 00:14:24,193.63804681 Yeah. 154 00:14:24,963.63804681 --> 00:14:30,226.97138014 So where's the Welch family going to be five years from now? Oh my goodness. 155 00:14:30,330.30371348 --> 00:14:32,850.30371348 there'll be nine to seventeen. 156 00:14:32,850.30371348 --> 00:14:37,400.30471347 So we'll be getting ready to launch our first oldest into the world. 157 00:14:37,900.30471347 --> 00:14:38,490.30471348 I don't know. 158 00:14:38,626.97138014 --> 00:15:00,195.30471348 It's interesting because with foster care, You can have kind of outlines of a dream life, but nothing is really set in stone with foster care because like, I could lose four of my kids, the dreams are kind of like, if they stay, then it could look like this, or if they leave, then it would look like this. 159 00:15:00,361.97138014 --> 00:15:07,535.30371348 I know for sure that we'll still be cheering our kids on and whatever that could look like, we're still going to love Jesus. 160 00:15:07,885.30371348 --> 00:15:14,115.30271348 We'll still be, you know, carting our kids around to their events and that will bring joy. 161 00:15:14,525.30271348 --> 00:15:17,795.30271348 And we'll see what the Lord has for us, we'll figure it out. 162 00:15:17,805.30271348 --> 00:15:18,385.30271348 it's hard. 163 00:15:18,385.30271348 --> 00:15:20,220.20371348 Cause a lot of fear can creep in. 164 00:15:20,220.20371348 --> 00:15:23,280.20371348 he's been good before and he'll still be good then. 165 00:15:23,620.20371348 --> 00:15:24,770.20371348 And we'll be okay. 166 00:15:25,20.20371348 --> 00:15:32,780.20371348 That's not as fun as we're going to be this big happy family forever and ever, there is this big question mark of a massive grief. 167 00:15:33,113.53704681 --> 00:15:40,406.87038014 when You foster, you're kind of signing up for the awareness that this could be, a part of the journey. 168 00:15:40,446.87038014 --> 00:15:40,826.87038014 Yeah. 169 00:15:41,176.86938014 --> 00:15:55,576.87238014 And, even if my kids do stay all in this home when you're raising kids that have come from really hard places your expectations and dreams for them do shift and change you're just more open handed. 170 00:15:55,576.87238014 --> 00:16:00,786.87238014 their hearts and brains have experienced so much more than my biological kids. 171 00:16:01,186.87238014 --> 00:16:04,510.78064101 my prayer for them is always Lord, whatever you want for them. 172 00:16:04,634.08569536 --> 00:16:10,62.29304319 And that may be different from what I want for them or what I expect for them. 173 00:16:10,442.29304318 --> 00:16:12,462.29204318 And I think fostering really. 174 00:16:12,892.29304318 --> 00:16:16,762.29204318 Helps you trust the Lord with your kids so much because. 175 00:16:16,877.29304318 --> 00:16:21,347.29304318 The idea that they're not yours is just always in your head. 176 00:16:21,647.29304318 --> 00:16:26,537.29204318 it's really shifted my perspective about my biological kids too. 177 00:16:26,537.29204318 --> 00:16:27,797.29104318 they're all the Lords. 178 00:16:28,0.62437652 --> 00:16:33,790.62537652 All of my kids are his and they could all leave tomorrow in some way or another. 179 00:16:34,210.62537652 --> 00:16:36,890.62537652 If tragedy struck I have to still trust the lord. 180 00:16:36,920.62537652 --> 00:16:54,174.0297243 I still will wake up tomorrow And the Lord will still be good and I'll still have to figure it out it will suck, but we'll figure it out, I don't feel like I worry about their futures because I just am like, who knows? you have four foster girls. 181 00:16:54,289.0297243 --> 00:17:08,895.694391 who have experienced trauma, how do you as a parent help your children who have lived through trauma? a huge part of it is being trauma informed, you know, just do as much. 182 00:17:09,550.695391 --> 00:17:27,244.0297243 Research and reading about the brain and how trauma affects the brain and what could that look like in behavior and what's the best way to respond to that? It's just so different than a normal, typical parental reaction, that's the biggest thing. 183 00:17:27,584.0297243 --> 00:17:33,414.0287243 And letting go of control of this perfectionism, parenting it's just gonna look different. 184 00:17:33,489.1287243 --> 00:17:36,899.0287243 You have to be flexible. 185 00:17:36,949.0287243 --> 00:17:44,939.2895939 when you are parenting kids from trauma, you have no idea what's going to trigger them when it's going to happen and what that's going to look like. 186 00:17:44,949.2895939 --> 00:17:48,869.2895939 so a lot of days are just not what you expect them to be. 187 00:17:48,899.2895939 --> 00:17:49,269.2895939 that. 188 00:17:49,492.4601779 --> 00:18:06,862.4591779 Is really stressful and it's really hard to keep yourself regulated your nervous system regulated can anything just go right? like, can you just go with the flow for a minute here? But if you don't have structures in place and there's nothing to fall back on in that moment. 189 00:18:07,132.4591779 --> 00:18:13,882.4581779 if you're dealing with this massive trauma meltdown and you end up having to restrain this kid, cause they're hurting other people. 190 00:18:14,422.4581779 --> 00:18:29,82.4591779 You need your other kids to business as usual, instead of Mom, what are you doing in there? What, what are we supposed to be doing out here? No, like get ready for school, just like normal, you know, morning routine of the systems. 191 00:18:29,132.4591779 --> 00:18:46,707.4606779 being trauma informed, being flexible, letting go of control is there secondary trauma, similar to what my boys have been through, the sibling of someone who's experienced trauma because they've had to see and and learn a lot more than what I would expose them to otherwise. 192 00:18:46,817.4606779 --> 00:18:50,827.4616779 And the biggest feedback that we get about them. 193 00:18:50,932.4616779 --> 00:19:01,12.4606779 Is they're the most empathetic kids, their teachers and their friends, parents are like, your boys are just so empathetic. 194 00:19:01,62.4606779 --> 00:19:02,512.4616779 Nothing surprises them. 195 00:19:02,522.4606779 --> 00:19:33,462.6370402 If someone has a crazy, outburst in class the boys are the ones going over there and saying Man, so hard when something happens that you don't expect or man, it's, it sucks to have to leave fun places because they've heard this their whole life and it's nothing we've even done to teach that it's just growing up seeing people that they love have to experience and process really difficult things and them just kind of growing up alongside that you're a different person when you see people who are hurting. 196 00:19:33,679.3037069 --> 00:20:10,682.3910765 Yeah, well, I showed a study in a workshop that I facilitate, but it was done by Harvard, 10, 000 adolescents and they're asked across 33 demographics, one of the questions is, what is the most important thing? For you as you move into, adulthood and they put high achievement as number one and number two is their happiness and number three has to do with Showing compassion and serving others the same kids say that that's what parents think are most important. 197 00:20:11,52.3910765 --> 00:20:19,932.3900765 So they're getting this message from parents that high achievement is the highest goal, right, and that their happiness. 198 00:20:20,372.3910765 --> 00:20:36,924.62812 And then compassion towards others but the studies show that when we, as parents help our children have compassion, have the empathy, then they are more successful and they are happier individuals. 199 00:20:37,22.3987721 --> 00:20:41,918.7857287 compassion and kindness is the cornerstone of your family. 200 00:20:41,968.7857287 --> 00:20:47,588.7847287 And so your boys are naturally that way out in the world that they're in. 201 00:20:47,928.7847287 --> 00:20:58,281.7641634 So, yeah, what we model for our kids is so much more important, even than what we say to them, because they're going to do what we do. 202 00:20:58,281.7641634 --> 00:20:59,791.7631634 my kids see what we're doing. 203 00:20:59,801.7631634 --> 00:21:01,181.7631634 They see how we're treating. 204 00:21:01,368.1173929 --> 00:21:08,990.9804113 Other people or our spouse, they see our inner dialogue that we have, they see that play out in our lives. 205 00:21:08,990.9804113 --> 00:21:27,490.9814113 And that has been so, I mean, that's why it's so important to go to therapy and work on your own stuff first, because whoever you are, your kids will be that, you know, it'll be that that's like the core values and. 206 00:21:28,95.9814113 --> 00:21:38,495.9814113 Characteristics that they are going to display period, whether you say that, Hey, you're going to want to be a perfectionist and achieve everything to the best of your ability. 207 00:21:38,495.9814113 --> 00:21:39,655.9804113 Otherwise you're a failure. 208 00:21:39,665.9814113 --> 00:21:41,305.9814113 Like you'd never say that to your kid. 209 00:21:41,505.9814113 --> 00:21:41,945.9814113 Right. 210 00:21:42,185.9804113 --> 00:21:44,295.9814113 That's the expectation you have for yourself. 211 00:21:44,354.3147446 --> 00:22:04,312.6480779 They're going to see that and they're going to feel the same way I learned that as a mom I was like Oh, I don't have to look any further than right here At me, when I see behaviors that I don't want in my kids, they were always a really good mirror for me to look at my stuff. 212 00:22:04,362.6480779 --> 00:22:05,822.6480779 it is super humbling. 213 00:22:06,768.7195832 --> 00:22:11,105.3862499 Something I've been doing with my kids is telling them what I'm working on. 214 00:22:11,125.3862499 --> 00:22:22,305.3872499 And I said, And I used to not think that I was a perfectionist because I'm ADD and I'm kind of nuts and my purse is a mess and everything's crazy, but I'm a perfectionist in all of these ways. 215 00:22:22,505.3872499 --> 00:22:23,995.3872499 And I was explaining that to them. 216 00:22:23,995.3872499 --> 00:22:27,415.3872499 And so then when it comes out in me, I'll be like, see. 217 00:22:27,482.8200487 --> 00:22:28,682.8200487 That's what I'm talking about. 218 00:22:28,692.8200487 --> 00:22:46,123.0825477 And that's what the Lord's convicting me of because I don't need to be like that because my worth has nothing to do with my achievement when I see them doing that, I can say, Hey, remember I'm working on this too, instead of being like, okay, I'm your mom and I have everything together and you don't. 219 00:22:46,143.0835477 --> 00:22:50,412.9825477 And so I have to teach you how to do it all We're all still learning. 220 00:22:50,413.0825477 --> 00:22:53,613.0825477 We're still working on us, right? Forever and ever. 221 00:22:53,943.0825477 --> 00:23:08,536.3847216 How do you define the difference between rest and just taking a break? This one's tough because sometimes When I'm exhausted, I just want to check out and that's really different than soul rest. 222 00:23:08,697.2090161 --> 00:23:11,797.2090161 Scrolling on my phone or just like binging Netflix. 223 00:23:11,807.2090161 --> 00:23:21,884.3340161 Not that it's never okay to do that, but coping with things or numbing out instead of actually allowing yourself to rest. 224 00:23:21,997.2537284 --> 00:23:23,217.2537284 Rest is intentional. 225 00:23:23,347.713511 --> 00:23:34,931.6630554 you walk away from it feeling restored or more whole, you know whereas taking a break I'm going to take a five minute break and I'm going to scroll social media because I want to catch up on stuff. 226 00:23:35,301.6630554 --> 00:23:46,311.6620554 knowing that's not going to nourish me, social media is not going to help me to slow down or be recentered or, find rhythms of focus or energy. 227 00:23:46,411.6620554 --> 00:23:48,101.6620554 rest is going to be different for everybody. 228 00:23:48,101.6620554 --> 00:23:51,361.6620554 Some people feel incredibly rested after they take a run. 229 00:23:51,631.6620554 --> 00:23:53,771.6620554 it's really noticing in yourself. 230 00:23:53,938.3176945 --> 00:24:13,490.2357425 After I scroll on social media, what do I feel? How am I feeling? Am I feeling restored? Do I feel encouraged? Do I feel jealous? I hear you talking, I'm thinking, what's the end goal? I, what do I want to come out of this time with? bring renewal to my soul. 231 00:24:13,663.5690759 --> 00:24:16,763.5690759 saying I need to regulate my nervous system right now. 232 00:24:16,888.6322338 --> 00:24:26,898.6332338 So I look at Katie's life I'm on the outside looking in you have a very successful nonprofit that you have developed and continues to grow. 233 00:24:26,948.6332338 --> 00:24:28,798.6332338 that's a whole business. 234 00:24:28,868.6332338 --> 00:24:31,248.6332338 You're engaged with the families. 235 00:24:31,343.6332338 --> 00:24:33,133.6332338 You build community. 236 00:24:33,276.9665671 --> 00:24:42,306.9655671 You have a beautiful family who laughs together, plays together, loves each other, probably fights together and works through it. 237 00:24:42,466.9665671 --> 00:24:46,886.9660671 You have a marriage for over 15 years. 238 00:24:47,266.9660671 --> 00:24:48,736.9660671 You love Jesus. 239 00:24:49,246.9660671 --> 00:25:01,736.9650671 You know, if the people listening to this podcast could see you, you're a beautiful, vibrant, lovely woman who rocks the vintage clothing like no one I know. 240 00:25:01,766.9660671 --> 00:25:08,118.6327338 So what do you attribute your success to? Oh my gosh. 241 00:25:08,245.2994004 --> 00:25:11,375.2994004 First of all, very, very generous, kind words. 242 00:25:11,568.6327338 --> 00:25:12,228.6327338 So thank you. 243 00:25:12,228.6327338 --> 00:25:38,35.2984004 But I mean, just Jesus really, like it is a thousand percent, this Slow and steady, failing, getting back up, putting systems in place that might help me to fail less, failing again, getting back up, just constantly like needing the Lord, you know and trying to set myself up for success in, in all the things that I'm doing, but just constantly failing. 244 00:25:38,85.2984004 --> 00:25:42,665.2994004 it's almost like funny hearing you say all of that because it's like. 245 00:25:43,345.3994004 --> 00:25:46,885.2994004 Oh, oof, that is an illusion, ma'am. 246 00:25:46,935.3994004 --> 00:25:56,5.3994004 But then, you know, I mean, I step back sometimes too, and I look at my kids and our life, and I'm just like, I could just like burst because it's so good. 247 00:25:56,605.3994004 --> 00:26:00,869.9032636 And then there's moments where I'm like crying on the shower floor. 248 00:26:00,869.9032636 --> 00:26:14,185.2626056 saying, what am I going to do? This is such a mess, I think that's just the life, right? that's the beautiful, tragic humanity, Katie You exude peace. 249 00:26:14,235.2626056 --> 00:26:23,15.2616056 Whatever your systems are doing and the rhythm of rest that you've worked into life, it's affecting the atmosphere around you. 250 00:26:23,15.2616056 --> 00:26:24,755.2616056 So keep at it. 251 00:26:25,191.9282723 --> 00:26:27,791.9282723 Katie, I know you have the nonprofit. 252 00:26:27,851.9282723 --> 00:26:33,31.9282723 called foster light, where you support foster care families. 253 00:26:33,561.9282723 --> 00:26:37,41.9282723 And so I'd love for you to share the website. 254 00:26:37,91.9272723 --> 00:26:39,661.9282723 And I'm sure many moms identified with. 255 00:26:39,911.9282723 --> 00:26:49,961.9282723 Being on the floor in the shower and just even how to start to set up systems But I would love for you to let people know if they can reach you through the website or how they can. 256 00:26:50,601.9272723 --> 00:26:51,1.9282723 Yeah, totally. 257 00:26:51,1.9282723 --> 00:26:53,761.9282723 So Fosterlight is just fosterlight. 258 00:26:54,31.9282723 --> 00:26:54,491.9282723 co. 259 00:26:54,781.9282723 --> 00:26:55,631.9282723 That's our website. 260 00:26:55,651.9282723 --> 00:26:57,41.9282723 That's our Instagram. 261 00:26:57,751.9282723 --> 00:26:59,651.9282723 That's where you can find us on Facebook too. 262 00:26:59,651.9282723 --> 00:27:02,111.9282723 I'm all about morning routines and chore charts. 263 00:27:02,111.9282723 --> 00:27:04,465.8058233 And I mean, they saved, they saved my soul. 264 00:27:05,335.8058233 --> 00:27:08,836.4185682 So good to be with you Thank you so much for making time. 265 00:27:08,836.4185682 --> 00:27:11,206.4180682 I know it's very, very valuable to you. 266 00:27:11,206.4180682 --> 00:27:25,416.3185682 I just want to say real quick, I've so enjoyed listening to your podcast and meeting with you in person is such a gift, but the extension of that is getting to listen to your podcast and be so encouraged you're just such a light. 267 00:27:25,636.3185682 --> 00:27:28,126.3185682 And I know so many other women feel that way. 268 00:27:28,126.3185682 --> 00:27:36,409.6519015 I get so excited when I see one of your episodes coming out because I leave them feeling encouraged and lighter That is so kind. 269 00:27:36,409.6519015 --> 00:27:37,489.6519015 I'm working. 270 00:27:37,539.6519015 --> 00:27:44,632.9852349 receiving kindness, and those were very, very generous and kind words full of life. 271 00:27:44,652.9842349 --> 00:27:45,892.9832349 so thank you. 272 00:27:45,902.9842349 --> 00:27:48,452.9842349 That means so much to my heart. 273 00:27:49,296.6899947 --> 00:27:53,256.6899947 Wow, what an incredible conversation with Katie. 274 00:27:53,447.4202417 --> 00:27:57,457.4202417 She reminded us that structure isn't about control. 275 00:27:57,623.2051354 --> 00:28:04,603.6152037 It's about creating peace, and let's be real, peace in a mom's world is priceless. 276 00:28:04,750.2818703 --> 00:28:06,320.2818703 But don't just listen. 277 00:28:06,403.6152037 --> 00:28:07,883.6152037 You can take action. 278 00:28:07,988.6152037 --> 00:28:10,728.6152037 Here is one thing you can try this week. 279 00:28:10,868.4972082 --> 00:28:13,798.4972082 Take a look at one chaotic part of your day. 280 00:28:13,890.1762892 --> 00:28:18,386.8429558 Maybe it's your mornings, dinnertime, or even bedtime. 281 00:28:18,463.5096225 --> 00:28:21,233.5086225 Put a simple system in place. 282 00:28:21,293.5096225 --> 00:28:25,433.5086225 Now, it doesn't have to be perfect, just intentional. 283 00:28:25,873.5086225 --> 00:28:33,968.7654524 Ask yourself, What is one small rhythm I can create to bring more peace to this moment. 284 00:28:34,78.7654524 --> 00:28:36,648.7654524 And don't forget Katie's chore chart system. 285 00:28:36,748.7654524 --> 00:28:39,708.7654524 It is available for you to download. 286 00:28:40,48.7654524 --> 00:28:44,248.7654524 It's a great starting point for creating order in your home. 287 00:28:44,345.4321191 --> 00:28:48,45.4321191 You can get it now at momtomommentoring. 288 00:28:48,95.4321191 --> 00:28:51,25.4321191 com backslash chores. 289 00:28:51,110.4321191 --> 00:28:58,170.4321191 And if you're listening and thinking, Misty, I love this idea, but I don't even know where to start. 290 00:28:58,460.4321191 --> 00:28:59,980.4321191 You are not alone. 291 00:29:00,390.4321191 --> 00:29:04,580.4321191 That's exactly why I offer coaching for busy moms like you. 292 00:29:04,700.4321191 --> 00:29:11,540.4321191 Together, we can create a system that works for your family, your life, and your season. 293 00:29:11,657.0987858 --> 00:29:12,557.0987858 Let's chat. 294 00:29:12,670.4321191 --> 00:29:18,200.4321191 You can book a free 20 minute call to take the first step toward peace and balance. 295 00:29:18,317.0987858 --> 00:29:19,577.0987858 Just go to Mom2MomMentoring. 296 00:29:21,317.0987858 --> 00:29:23,967.0987858 com backslash call. 297 00:29:24,43.7654524 --> 00:29:35,141.3012549 And you'll get a link for a 20 minute free call where we can discover if coaching is right for you in this time and season of your life. 298 00:29:35,243.6716253 --> 00:29:47,461.4582796 And mom, if today's episode encouraged you Would you take a minute to share it with a friend who needs a little bit more calm in her chaos? And if you haven't yet, leave a quick review. 299 00:29:47,526.5506376 --> 00:29:55,229.7852055 It helps more moms just like you find the encouragement and practical tools for their everyday lives. 300 00:29:55,318.7185389 --> 00:30:01,298.7195389 Remember mom, when you shine, you give others permission to shine too.
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