The Inner Narcissist: Breaking Free from Shame and Self-Sabotage with Emma Lyons

In this powerful episode of Sacred Harmony, Emma Lyons, trauma-informed healer and founder of the Trauma Matrix, joins us to unpack the “inner narcissist”—the shaming inner voice that masquerades as our protector but actually sabotages our lives. Emma shares how this voice is deeply normalized in Western culture, particularly for empathetic, high-achieving women, and explains why befriending it only makes it stronger. She also discusses the link between nervous system dysregulation and self-erasure, and offers practical ways to reclaim visibility, regulation, and authentic living. If you’ve ever felt trapped by self-doubt or invisible in your own life, this episode is an unfiltered look at how to break free from internalized shame and live shamelessly.

About the Guest  

Emma Lyons is a trauma-informed healer and founder of the Trauma Matrix. After leaving a successful career in law and international human rights, she committed her life to helping women release toxic shame and the inner critic that keeps them small. Emma’s work integrates nervous system healing, spiritual practices, and deep conditioning release to help clients live authentically and thrive.

Key Takeaways  

• The “inner narcissist” is the shaming inner voice often mistaken for the inner critic. It sabotages self-trust and growth.

• Shame is not protective; it’s an inherited cultural conditioning rooted in control and fear.

• Nervous system dysregulation can make the inner narcissist louder, increasing self-sabotage and paralysis.

• Healing requires recognizing the voice isn’t you, refusing to feed it, and actively regulating the nervous system.

• True visibility is living life on your own terms, free from performing for others or living up to external expectations.

• All forms of shame are toxic; guilt (I did something bad) and shame (I am bad) must be clearly distinguished.

• Thriving, not just surviving, is the ultimate way to dismantle the inner narcissist’s control.

 

Website: tinyurl.com/nottodaynarc – Free resource: 5 Signs It's Time to Break Up with Your Inner Narcissist

• Instagram & TikTok: @trauma.matrix

• YouTube: Search Emma Lyons – Trauma Matrix

 

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