May 23, 2024 • 28 mins
Good evening! Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies. Welcome to "That Other Lifestyle Podcast," hosted by Jason. In this episode, we dive into the thrilling world of lifestyle house parties and leave vanilla behind.
This past weekend, Jason attended an unforgettable house party to celebrate a dear friend's birthday with 50 other enthusiasts. Drawing from his extensive experience in hosting and attending such parties, Jason offers invaluable advice on how to successfully navigate lifestyle house parties.
Whether you're a newbie looking for guidance or an experienced couple needing a push to host your own party, this episode has you covered. From understanding party themes to respecting house rules and consent, Jason shares the unspoken etiquette that ensures a great time and future invitations.
Join us as we explore the dynamics of lifestyle house parties, the importance of socializing, and the subtle yet crucial differences from vanilla parties. Plus, get ready for some entertaining stories and practical tips to enhance your lifestyle journey.
Remember, subscribing to the podcast is free, fun, and a huge help to Jason. Share this episode with friends, and stay tuned for more exciting content. This podcast is intended for adults only, so let's dive in and enjoy the ride!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:06):
Good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies and tell a friend about this podcast.
Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast. I am your host, Jason.
Take a listen and let's leave vanilla behind.
I went to an awesome house party this past weekend. A dear and beautiful friend
of mine celebrated her birthday with 50 other heathens.
So as with most things to talk about, I figured it would be a good episode to
share with everyone how to attend a lifestyle house party.
(00:29):
For this advice, it comes from my personal experience of hosting parties,
attending parties, and talking to other friends who've attended parties and or hosted them.
I know vanilla people are always curious about what we do at parties, so let's tell them.
Newbies, y'all need some help here. And for experienced couples,
this might give you all the push you need to host your own party. Do it. Throw a party.
Subscribing to the podcast is free and fun and a huge help to me.
(00:49):
If you hit that subscribe or follow button, I think you may have an orgasm or two.
And if you don't believe me, test it out. Share this video with your friends,
like, review, and all that stuff is super great and appreciated.
Want to dip your toes into the lifestyle? You can find a link to sign up for
a trial account of SDC, one of the biggest swinger sites in the world,
on my website, ThatOtherLifestyle.com.
And in related news, I will be publishing a course later this summer for single men in the lifestyle.
(01:15):
We want more lifestyle lions, and this course will help single men from joining
the lifestyle, navigating it, and hopefully getting laid.
And for instance, the course is going to tell single men how to navigate lifestyle
parties with grace and get invited again. end.
Please note this podcast is intended for adults only. It is not safe for work.
We will talk about adult or sexual topics and I will use salty language often.
(01:36):
This content is for entertainment purposes only and again only for those over 18 years of age.
I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can.
It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance.
For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife
or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I am sharing.
This podcast is for everyone, though, no matter your background,
(01:56):
gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living.
Everyone is welcome, no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and
ethical non-monogamy. So, house parties.
House parties are a big deal in the lifestyle, y'all.
We might have hotel takeovers or resorts or cruises, but nothing beats the intimacy of a house party.
Mostly because we are in a private residence and can do whatever in the hell
(02:18):
we want without concern for morality laws around nudity.
A couple, a person, someone, will decide, yes, I want to have a party in my
own house, invite over 10, 20, 100 of their closest and spiciest friends for a night of debauchery.
Did I say night? Sometimes they are one night. Sometimes they are a whole weekend
with people camped out in the front yard and nonstop fun for three days.
It totally happens. Like everything else in the lifestyle, there is an etiquette
(02:41):
and unspoken rules to attending a house party.
Someone needs to tell you though, the unspoken rules and that's what I'm here for.
While some advice is really common sense, common sense is not common and we
deal with the uncommon if that makes sense.
I know the basic premise is not complicated. We are going to a party. That's it.
Wrong. Maybe. A little bit. Yes. You have probably been to vanilla house parties,
but lifestyle parties are a whole other animal that a little bit of advice can
(03:05):
go a long way to having a good time and getting invited again.
And getting invited again, that's the rub. You want to be a good party guest,
so next time there is a party, you are invited back.
Or maybe someone else in the crowd is planning a party, and you want to make
sure that you end up on their invite list as well. That sounds negative, Jason.
No. This is how it's done. This is how good party hosts know who to invite,
(03:28):
so there's a good mix of people who will be civil at a party.
Remember, you are going to someone's house.
All their stuff is there. You need to be respectful of your host,
their home, their guest.
This is a highly personal affair that I dare say if you get invited,
count yourself lucky the host thinks enough of you to even invite you.
With most activities, there is a timeline for the event that if nothing else,
it makes this just easier to categorize this advice and walk you through the event.
(03:51):
So we've got the pre-party, you have the party itself, and then after the party.
And I always say the lifestyle is a culture. We have our own etiquette and rules.
If you have never been to an LS house party, it is different.
It is different than vanilla party in some very specific ways.
First way, there will probably be nudity. I know me personally,
every hour, another article of clothing comes off my body till I'm running around
(04:12):
in my boxers with a smile on my face.
There will be boobs out and or women in lingerie just looking fire all night long.
Women may be buck naked running around.
Look, don't leer and never, ever, ever, ever touch a person without their consent.
I'm going to mention consent a bunch in this episode. Just because you're at
a lifestyle party and a woman is naked standing next to you,
(04:34):
you do not have implied consent to touch her in any way or anyone else based
on the way that she is dressed or not dressed.
Always ask before you touch a person, even at house parties.
The second way, LS parties are different. There may be a playroom,
i.e., a space dedicated to people to engage in adult activities.
At a vanilla party, a couple may sneak off to the bathroom and then come back
(04:55):
in five minutes looking flustered and happy.
Lifestyle party. No, there's probably a bedroom setup for couples to do the slippy flippy.
I have to keep using these euphemisms people so I don't get demonetized.
Or maybe you end up on a wobbly kitchen chair with woman hovering over your
face because you just happen to yell out, sit on my face.
And she said, yes. And then you didn't know what to do. And you end up falling
(05:15):
out of a chair that may have happened to me. The third way lifestyle parties
are different is just the overall vibe.
There's flirting and kissing and compliments and connections.
You may go six months without seeing someone. And the instant you see them walk
through the door, you're right back to being good friends.
Playful conversations fill the air with drinks in your hand.
For ladies, women, or whoever may be inclined to wear lingerie,
(05:35):
house parties are your chance to shine.
Where else do you get to strut around in your sexiest lingerie for hours?
A woman will get a cute little outfit with lace and straps. She puts it on for
her husband and it stays on for all of like five minutes until he can clumsily
get her out of it. House party though.
Ladies can can wear lingerie or multiple sets or multiple outfits or nothing
at all. At the party, most ladies did at least two costume changes as the night went on.
(05:58):
Ladies arrived in like nice cocktail dresses or flapper outfits and then like
beautiful rhinestone covered butterflies, they transformed into erotic lace goddesses.
I know for this episode, I will be using broad generalizations.
Every party is different. Every host is different. This advice is all around
useful, but I do realize that not every bit will apply to every party.
Just say that this is like a general primer on what to And every week around
(06:24):
the world, very nice swingers open their homes to their friends.
Some couples throw parties once or twice a year. Others throw them every weekend.
It totally depends on the social capacity of your local area.
And yeah, parties exist.
And now that you know parties exist, the next question is how do I get invited to a lifestyle party?
Simple answer is you got to know people. You got to have a large social network.
(06:45):
These parties are usually not advertised online or on social media.
Word of mouth will get you in the door. You might fall into it with a local
lifestyle group that throws parties. You might know a couple that throws these parties.
Be polite, be courteous, be the kind of person that people want to invite to their home.
The benefit of attending a party thrown by someone you know is that you can
ask and find out what kind of party this is in advance.
(07:06):
If you happen to stumble across a house party listed on a lifestyle site like
SDC, you may not personally know the host.
So I recommend reaching out then and asking questions you need to ask before
you commit to attending. And oh yeah, RSVP, damn it.
Swingers are a non-committal bunch of people. It is like organizing and it's
like herding cats over a mountain.
(07:27):
Let the host of the party know that you're coming or not. So they have a good
idea of how many people to expect. This is basic party etiquette right here for lifestyle parties.
This is important though. Something different. Do not publicize someone else's
party. Don't go blabbing about it in chat groups or social media.
These are private affairs for a fucking reason. Unless the host specifically
says this is an open invitation to everyone out there, which I promise is very rare.
(07:52):
Do not go tell every swinger you know that there's a party this weekend.
It is not your responsibility to get guests for this party unless the host asks
you to to be involved in that part of planning.
That's how you end up with uninvited guests, and we're gonna talk about them in a minute.
As I write this, I realize that most of my advice will come straight out of
any modern party etiquette book, but with a twist.
The twist is titties, or the potential for sexual activities.
(08:15):
So anyway, yay, you got lucky, you got invited to a party. What do you need
to know if you were invited to a lifestyle house party?
Is there a theme? Most parties I've attended have had a theme or explicitly
said there is a party theme or no party theme.
And look, we had a house party here where there was no theme because I don't
want anyone to bother with having to dress up.
We want to just have a very chill kind of party. Other parties though,
(08:37):
there are themes and themes might be bikinis or holidays or fantasy elves or fire eyes, something.
The party we attended last weekend inspired this episode, which was so good
I had to share it with everyone.
The theme was USA, 1920s, the roaring 20s, great Gatsby, gold and black and
silver decorations with blow-up champagne bottles. My friend went all out.
(08:59):
Every room was decorated. They converted their garage into a dance floor.
Ladies wore flapper outfits with fringes and sequins, and the men wore suits. It was all very snazzy.
And I can't sing enough praises for the setup of this party.
They had a stripper pole and party lights.
And we also have this mutual DJ friend who offered to do the music as a birthday
present for my friend. This was a top-notch house party.
(09:21):
I ask kindly of everyone, if there is a theme, put some effort into the costume.
As a party host, as someone who has thrown themed parties, it is fun to see everyone dress up.
To the guys who think they are too cool to dress up, you are not.
You are not too cool to dress up. You stick out in the crowd because you're
the only one who isn't dressed up.
At this party, all the other men were in slacks and vests, and there was just
(09:42):
one dude who was in blue jeans.
One of these things is not like the other. Next item to note,
and I'm going to be blunt here.
You need to know this from the party host. Is this an orgy?
Orgy and house party are very different. Orgy means everyone is getting naked
at some point and doing the happy swappy.
House parties typically are not orgies unless they explicitly tell you.
(10:06):
There may be playrooms with an orgy happening in that room, but there's no expectation
that everyone at the party will participate.
And I need to dispel a myth right here for our vanilla listeners.
Swinger parties are not key parties. Key parties are not real and never have been real.
They are a Hollywood cliche perpetrated by people who have no idea what the
(10:27):
hell they're talking about.
Key parties exemplify everything vanilla people have wrong in their heads about the lifestyle.
At these parties, no one is taking out a fishbowl, putting everyone's car keys
in there, and randomly selecting a partner for the night.
This violates all of our core tenets of safety and consent.
Most couples in the lifestyle play together. Did you know that?
(10:48):
As in one couple engages with another couple.
There is no random separating or swapping based on pulling out fucking car keys.
Think about it. You pick out a random set of keys. Maybe you're not physically
personally attracted to the person you picked.
Now you're forced to do something with someone you don't want to.
That violates our rules of consent and free choice.
We need to bear this, this, y'all. Key parties are not real.
(11:11):
Key parties do not happen. Key parties did not happen. There is no historical
evidence of them happening.
There's no random selection of sexual partners at a swinger party.
And I know the vanilla crowd is thinking, well, but there could be.
Yeah, but there ain't. This is a bullshit fantasy constructed by vanilla Hollywood
writers who created assumptions and connections in a narrative that are not there.
(11:34):
I've never seen it happen, nor have I met anyone who says that it happened to
them. We don't operate that way. Key parties, not real.
Just gonna hammer this point home, because I got to. Swinger parties, they can be super sexy.
Swinger parties cannot be sexy.
Lifestyle people can have a party and nothing happens sexually.
It is possible. I know I just blew the mind of some vanilla person out there.
(11:57):
Look, we can control ourselves, huh? It's wild.
When you get the invitation, two questions to ask. First, can you help the host set up,
These parties are a lot of work. I say that from personally throwing parties
and personally helping set up for other parties.
Between the decorations or moving furniture or cleaning, prepping for a party is some work.
(12:17):
Offer to help. It is super appreciated when someone offers. They may turn you
down, that's okay. You offer it. It shows that you're a considerate person.
For my friend who threw her 1920s party during the week, we went over there,
we helped them take furniture out of their house because couches and big chairs just get in the way.
And we also helped construct decorations celebrations.
I've been to other parties where we help cook. Plus, it gives you bonus time with a host.
(12:39):
And I really don't see it as work. I see it as just being a good friend in person.
The other question, the guest list. Is the guest list open or closed?
See, I told you we're going to talk about uninvited guests.
You can ask the host, could you bring a friend if you wanted to?
Maybe you know a couple that you think would really enjoy this upcoming party, which is fine.
But ask first. Do not bring uninvited guests to a house party.
(13:02):
And come on, that applies to like like vanilla parties as well.
That person you want to bring, maybe the party host doesn't personally like them, which happens.
More likely it's a consideration of privacy and the other guest.
Could be the person you want to invite works with the party host and that's
not a good way to get out it. The party host will invite the people they want to attend.
I know that sounds harsh, but again, this is someone's house.
(13:25):
You have to respect that. I personally don't want strangers walking around my
house. All my stuff is here.
I don't want a coworker or vanilla person and accidentally stumbling into my
party. The other consideration for a host is space.
Personally ran into this one too. Having 20 people over, everybody might fit
comfortably in the house or spill onto the back porch.
(13:45):
Double or triple that number and now everyone is shoulder to shoulder and there is no room.
Then you end up with like 60 people in your house and you don't know half of
them and you can't even get through your own kitchen. Look around your house
or your apartment or space.
Think about how many people you could comfortably fit in there.
Now ponder if everyone else brought a friend. Yeah, that's a lot of people.
So ask the host if you can bring someone one before you reach out to a friend
(14:07):
and invite them to the party. Don't do this ass backwards.
Always ask the host first. And it may happen you find out about a party that
you weren't invited to. Please don't get butthurt.
Ask the host to put you on the guest list for the next party.
That's it. No sour feelings.
I promise you 99% of the time, the reason you didn't get invited, it wasn't personal.
Remember these parties, the goal is to socialize, not get laid.
(14:30):
The best way to have fun is to have no expectations.
Some people do show up looking to get frisky and that's cool.
I'm telling you though, generally, it's better to have no expectations.
Focus on the socializing.
That's what these parties are really about. Hanging out with friends,
meeting new people, and having a good time in a relaxed environment versus trying
to bang it out with new people.
(14:51):
Another socially friendly thing to do is ask the host if you need to bring anything.
Food, paper towel, alcohol, this is a basic etiquette for any party.
If you bring a hot dish, think about how to keep it warm.
And if there's an outlet available for like a crock pot and also bring your own serving utensils.
Personally, I'm a big fan of charcuterie boards. Finger foods are easy for people
(15:13):
to pick up and snack on. No extra plates or cutlery required.
Easy cleanup, not messy. After the party, the only dish left is the board,
which is easy to wash and pick up later.
Alcohol for a party is an okay idea. Not a bad idea unless it's a sober party
or like California sober.
Ask the host if they have a preference. So looking at a bottle of wine or maybe
a bottle of hard liquor. I know some people will insist on bringing something.
(15:37):
Here's my random list of things you can bring to a party that a host might appreciate.
Party games, dice cards, paper towels. That's not sexy, but it's necessary.
Ice is always welcome and drink mixers are good, like Coke, Sprite, orange juice.
Night of the party, maybe the day of the party if you're doing a bunch of day
drinking, which is also really fun.
You show up at the house. I don't realize I keep saying house,
(15:58):
but it might be an apartment or some other place where a person lives.
Just run with me. You and your spouse gets dressed up and you arrive at the party.
Usually if this is the first time at the house, the host will give you a tour.
If you are hosting y'all, give people a tour.
Show them the bathroom, show them the designated play areas.
And talking about play areas, don't fuck on the couches.
I have one rule in my parties, don't fuck on my couches. Maybe the host is okay with that.
(16:22):
Generally, the host will provide a separate play area or room for any shenanigans.
Respect that. It is a raging bitch to clean sex fluids out of certain fabrics.
The host should have a space set up with beds and towels and such for those
activities if y'all are being encouraged to play at the party.
It is possible to have a lifestyle gathering with no playroom and the host,
(16:43):
I don't want to say discourages fuckery, but it may be implied that no fuckery
is going to happen based on the lack of fuckery space.
Sometimes you just want to have a party without a bunch of fuckery.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but do not come on the curtains.
Don't squirt on the walls. One of you heathens out there needs to hear this.
I know at a sex club, you think fuck it and you spray and play and leave DNA everywhere.
(17:07):
It is disgusting at a club and it is double disgusting at a house party.
This is someone's house and unless they are directly involved in producing that
DNA everywhere, they probably won't take too kindly to you just coming on the
curtains. So in the playroom, clean up after yourself.
Don't make a mess. Change the sheets if the host requests that between sessions.
Now the host may provide condoms and lube and towels and wet wipes.
(17:28):
Maybe, maybe not. So you need to make sure you bring your own hoe bag just in
case. Always be prepared.
And again, Again, basic etiquette, y'all. If you make a mess in someone's house,
clean it up. Throw away your trash.
I know this sounds dumb that I have to say this, but I have thrown parties and
seen and cleaned the mess y'all heathens can make.
The host of the party may also share designated areas where you're allowed to
be naked and in revealing clothing.
(17:50):
Respect it. Respect the neighbors, especially if the party is happening in an
apartment building or a neighborhood.
Don't run around the backyard naked if there's neighbors close by.
Ladies, use a cover-up as you walk down the sidewalk to the house.
You are more than welcome to strip down as soon as you get in the front door.
Some neighbors have a pesky issue with rampant sex parties happening on their
street, so don't give them any fuel for that fire.
(18:12):
On the tour, the host may point out private areas of the house that they do not want guests.
Don't go in there. Maybe it's a kid's room or the master bedroom. Just don't go in.
If the door is closed, assume they don't fucking want you in there.
Yeah, no matter how good of friends you may be with a host, just don't fucking go in there.
Respect their privacy and stay the hell out. The host may also provide a list
(18:33):
of house rules in advance, or they'll share the rules when you arrive.
Know the rules and abide by them. It is their house, and you are a guest,
and you need to respect their space.
If you happen to see someone breaking a rule in a very egregious manner,
or behaving in an unsafe manner or being a jerk, making other guests uncomfortable, notify the host.
It does not have to be a big production or make a big fuss.
(18:55):
Just let the host know so they can deal with it. Lifestyle parties have an added
layer of sexual energy and tension.
If Bill from work has too many beers, you throw him on the back porch and he sleeps it off.
If Bill, your lifestyle friend, has too many beers and starts getting handsy
with too many people, that is a violation of consent in the lifestyle and a much bigger issue.
Like any party, do not overdo the alcohol or illicit substances.
(19:17):
You do not want to spend the night throwing up because you just had to to have
an extra shot of tequila.
If the host only has one bathroom, now you are tying up the bathroom with your
attention and to the toilet and no one else can go pee.
For pictures, only take pictures in designated areas.
Most parties I've been to and hosted, we got a theme backdrop and really most
(19:37):
hotel takeovers and events I've been to, they have a backdrop and probably some ring lights.
The reason this exists is because it is a lifestyle, social faux pas to take
random pictures at the party and really any lifestyle event without the consent
of everyone in that picture.
That is how people get accidentally outed. You take a pic at a party,
you and your bestie swinger friend just look super cute, and you take the pic
(20:00):
to commemorate the night.
And then you think, I'll just put it up on Facebook because you need the world
to see your just smashing outfit. fit.
And in the background is a high school teacher from another city.
It's a good shot of her full square on face pic. And she's wearing nipple pasties and lingerie.
Someone always knows someone and they put two and two together.
And that person is now outed in the lifestyle because you took a picture and posted it.
(20:24):
Don't do that. For parties, I believe in leaving only footprints.
The night is great and epic. And yeah, there might be some pictures,
but generally just attend the party, focus, have fun and move on.
You don't need a hundred pictures of the night. Focus on the party instead of the pictures.
And for everything good and holy in the world, do not share those pictures outside
the lifestyle if there is anyone else in the background for conversations.
(20:47):
And yes, I need to tell someone this too. Avoid controversial topics like religion
or politics when you're talking to people.
No one cares who you voted for or who you plan to vote for.
Don't be that guy that really wants to share his outlook on any political party.
Also, don't pry into people's personal lives.
They might tell you, I do X or this for a living.
(21:09):
That's it. That's all you need to know. Don't pry into where they work or where
their, what their hours are or their boss's name and the lifestyle.
We are not our jobs and careers.
It is not a social faux pas for people to be cagey about their personal lives.
That goes back to needing discretion.
And if you pry, then people might get suspicious. Remember, there are people
(21:30):
in the lifestyle who could lose their job, social life, and everything if their secret gets out.
The less you know about their vanilla lives, the better.
But, but, but, but, please don't take this to mean that you shouldn't talk to
people. Take initiative and go meet people.
At a bar or a club, there is stupid loud music, which can severely curtail any
meaningful conversation.
At a house party, the music, a little quieter. You can talk and you should go talk.
(21:54):
But Jason, I can't talk about my personal life and politics and religion.
What do I talk about? Talk about the lifestyle.
Ask people how long they've been in the LS. Ask if they've ever been to a resort
or a takeover. Ask about their outfits. Ask about hobbies.
People love to talk about their passions and hobbies. I will gladly talk to
a stranger about 1960s rock music if they're passionate about it.
(22:17):
I have no clue about F1 Formula Racing.
I met a really cool dude at that party, and we talked for like 20 minutes about
racing, and he completely educated me.
Passion is sexy. Hobbies are sexy. Talk about that.
I personally prescribe to the idea that when you take away the obvious and easy,
you're left with the meaningful and good.
What I mean by that is, think about the last vanilla conversation you had.
(22:39):
I bet it was about kids, or money, or work, or the weather.
Yeah, throw all of those topics out. The topics you're left with,
those are the meaningful connections you can make with people beyond the superficial,
Like what are they genuinely interested in?
That's the benefit of the LS. We are able to make meaningful connections as
adults, not just parents or work associates, but as adults.
(23:00):
As the night goes on, the environment will take a turn, and it's wild that you can feel it.
The bodies get hot, people become more comfortable, clothing comes off.
Sexy time is on its way. It's like there's a horny goblin sneaking through the
crowd just bopping people with his horny stick.
Regarding when the sexy time starts, I am personally a fan of leaving the playroom
closed until a set time like midnight. night.
(23:22):
The reason is, it is a clear indicator to those who do not want to engage in
fuckery that nothing's going to happen until that time.
That lets the people know when the boink boink room will be available for who wants it.
I like this idea. It makes people more comfortable to know that there is a set time.
Having that set time, people who are not interested in doing anything,
they know when's a good time to leave politely.
(23:44):
I share this because in my personal experience here.
I have had an orgy form around my wife and I like a swirling cloud of naked
bodies, and we didn't plan or discuss doing anything that night.
So we are stuck sitting in a room fully clothed while an orgy goes down around
us with no clear way to politely dip out. It was fucking awkward.
(24:06):
Conversely, there may not be a set time. The room might be open the whole time.
The tension has to build before a couple or a couple of couples will go in there.
No one wants to be the first. I lie. I'll be the first. I don't care.
For playroom etiquette, ask before you touch. Please abide by this rule.
Same general rules as a sex club minus the curtains.
Don't want to participate or watch? Leave the room. No one is making you stay
(24:29):
or no one should be making you stay in the playroom.
Always get consent from all parties involved in the fuckery before you join in.
Yeah, it might be two people banging it out or it might be seven people in a pile of bodies.
Yes, you need to ask all seven of those people before you pull out your packer.
If someone says no, no means no. Silence is not consent.
You need that verbal affirmative before you join. And always be gracious, accept a simple no.
(24:55):
Be aware, and I'm telling vanilla people this, there might be an audience in
the playroom. You might attract watchers.
Can you fuck with an audience? If you have trouble focusing in a room with another
couple, yeah, it's gonna be double hard when you have like four to 10 people
watching you talking about the weather. Don't go in that room and expect privacy.
Go in that room and put on the best damn show of your life. If you are on the
(25:16):
voyeur side of things, you'll like watching.
Feel free to watch, but please don't be creepy. Don't stare.
Try not to make eye contact. Just don't be a creeper.
I wish I could define this better as in do this and not that,
but it is so hard to define.
Just don't be creepy. We had drinks, we danced, we did the horizontal naked
wrestling, and the night is wrapping up. A big consideration. Do you have a ride home?
(25:39):
Never drink and drive. Never. Line up a way to get home before the party.
Use an Uber, Lyft, or catch a ride from a friend.
The host may offer you a bed for the night, but never assume you and your spouse
can crash at their residence without asking ahead of time.
Good hosts are aware that people may overindulge and can't get back home.
The host may offer a spare bed if they have it. We personally keep a few air
(26:01):
mattresses on hand for this individuality.
I will take their keys, not put them in a fishbowl, and then kindly lead the
inebriated couple to an air mattress.
You will not have a comfortable night of sleep, but at least you're safe.
And just like you can feel the sex vibes building in the air,
you can also feel when the party is winding down.
And I mean this as politely as possible. Get the hell out.
(26:21):
The hosts are probably exhausted and ready to crash, or the host may go to bed
and and leave everyone to keep on partying.
As the party is wrapping up, offer to clean up. It is a nice thing to do because
tomorrow morning, your party host will wake up to a filthy house that will take
hours to rearrange and clean up.
Post-party, thank the host. Reach out, thank them personally.
Standard stuff here. Pick up any dishes you left at their house,
(26:43):
and y'all get ready for the next one.
The host may, maybe, ask for feedback on the party. Be honest if they ask because
it's only with honest critiques that we can do better.
Parties can be as big or as small as you want. You are fully empowered,
though, to throw a party. It ain't a big deal.
Get some snacks, invite some friends over, play music, and have a good time.
You can decorate your house or not. It is totally up to you.
(27:05):
Again, you are fully empowered to have a party if you want to.
I will do a future episode on how
to actually throw the party and all the considerations that go with that.
Keep on the lookout for that one. Till then, throw a party if you want to.
You don't have to ask anyone's permission.
If you know five couples, that is more than enough to have a good time.
And people want stuff to do. too. People want safe environments to do that stuff.
(27:26):
And there's people who may not be into sex clubs or big hotel takeovers.
That means house parties are a great option for them. I always appreciate hearing
your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics,
so feel free to reach out to me.
Go take a look at my friend's website, www.gentlemans-almanac.com.
He wrote a really good book for gentlemen in the lifestyle.
My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified
(27:48):
educator of any kind in any way.
I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you.
This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode.
Whatever you may do, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it.
Know that you are appreciated and.
Music.
Music.
(00:06):
Good evening. Wherever you are, I hope you have blue skies and tell a friend about this podcast.
Welcome to that other lifestyle podcast. I am your host, Jason.
Take a listen and let's leave vanilla behind.
I went to an awesome house party this past weekend. A dear and beautiful friend
of mine celebrated her birthday with 50 other heathens.
So as with most things to talk about, I figured it would be a good episode to
share with everyone how to attend a lifestyle house party.
(00:29):
For this advice, it comes from my personal experience of hosting parties,
attending parties, and talking to other friends who've attended parties and or hosted them.
I know vanilla people are always curious about what we do at parties, so let's tell them.
Newbies, y'all need some help here. And for experienced couples,
this might give you all the push you need to host your own party. Do it. Throw a party.
Subscribing to the podcast is free and fun and a huge help to me.
(00:49):
If you hit that subscribe or follow button, I think you may have an orgasm or two.
And if you don't believe me, test it out. Share this video with your friends,
like, review, and all that stuff is super great and appreciated.
Want to dip your toes into the lifestyle? You can find a link to sign up for
a trial account of SDC, one of the biggest swinger sites in the world,
on my website, ThatOtherLifestyle.com.
And in related news, I will be publishing a course later this summer for single men in the lifestyle.
(01:15):
We want more lifestyle lions, and this course will help single men from joining
the lifestyle, navigating it, and hopefully getting laid.
And for instance, the course is going to tell single men how to navigate lifestyle
parties with grace and get invited again. end.
Please note this podcast is intended for adults only. It is not safe for work.
We will talk about adult or sexual topics and I will use salty language often.
(01:36):
This content is for entertainment purposes only and again only for those over 18 years of age.
I also try to be as inclusive with my language and terms as I can.
It can be challenging to formulate and write and say all the inclusive terms in every instance.
For simplicity's sake and time management, I may use terms like husband or wife
or partner or spouse for the purpose of the narrative I am sharing.
This podcast is for everyone, though, no matter your background,
(01:56):
gender identity, gender expression, or whatever truth you may be living.
Everyone is welcome, no matter how you personally experience the lifestyle and
ethical non-monogamy. So, house parties.
House parties are a big deal in the lifestyle, y'all.
We might have hotel takeovers or resorts or cruises, but nothing beats the intimacy of a house party.
Mostly because we are in a private residence and can do whatever in the hell
(02:18):
we want without concern for morality laws around nudity.
A couple, a person, someone, will decide, yes, I want to have a party in my
own house, invite over 10, 20, 100 of their closest and spiciest friends for a night of debauchery.
Did I say night? Sometimes they are one night. Sometimes they are a whole weekend
with people camped out in the front yard and nonstop fun for three days.
It totally happens. Like everything else in the lifestyle, there is an etiquette
(02:41):
and unspoken rules to attending a house party.
Someone needs to tell you though, the unspoken rules and that's what I'm here for.
While some advice is really common sense, common sense is not common and we
deal with the uncommon if that makes sense.
I know the basic premise is not complicated. We are going to a party. That's it.
Wrong. Maybe. A little bit. Yes. You have probably been to vanilla house parties,
but lifestyle parties are a whole other animal that a little bit of advice can
(03:05):
go a long way to having a good time and getting invited again.
And getting invited again, that's the rub. You want to be a good party guest,
so next time there is a party, you are invited back.
Or maybe someone else in the crowd is planning a party, and you want to make
sure that you end up on their invite list as well. That sounds negative, Jason.
No. This is how it's done. This is how good party hosts know who to invite,
(03:28):
so there's a good mix of people who will be civil at a party.
Remember, you are going to someone's house.
All their stuff is there. You need to be respectful of your host,
their home, their guest.
This is a highly personal affair that I dare say if you get invited,
count yourself lucky the host thinks enough of you to even invite you.
With most activities, there is a timeline for the event that if nothing else,
it makes this just easier to categorize this advice and walk you through the event.
(03:51):
So we've got the pre-party, you have the party itself, and then after the party.
And I always say the lifestyle is a culture. We have our own etiquette and rules.
If you have never been to an LS house party, it is different.
It is different than vanilla party in some very specific ways.
First way, there will probably be nudity. I know me personally,
every hour, another article of clothing comes off my body till I'm running around
(04:12):
in my boxers with a smile on my face.
There will be boobs out and or women in lingerie just looking fire all night long.
Women may be buck naked running around.
Look, don't leer and never, ever, ever, ever touch a person without their consent.
I'm going to mention consent a bunch in this episode. Just because you're at
a lifestyle party and a woman is naked standing next to you,
(04:34):
you do not have implied consent to touch her in any way or anyone else based
on the way that she is dressed or not dressed.
Always ask before you touch a person, even at house parties.
The second way, LS parties are different. There may be a playroom,
i.e., a space dedicated to people to engage in adult activities.
At a vanilla party, a couple may sneak off to the bathroom and then come back
(04:55):
in five minutes looking flustered and happy.
Lifestyle party. No, there's probably a bedroom setup for couples to do the slippy flippy.
I have to keep using these euphemisms people so I don't get demonetized.
Or maybe you end up on a wobbly kitchen chair with woman hovering over your
face because you just happen to yell out, sit on my face.
And she said, yes. And then you didn't know what to do. And you end up falling
(05:15):
out of a chair that may have happened to me. The third way lifestyle parties
are different is just the overall vibe.
There's flirting and kissing and compliments and connections.
You may go six months without seeing someone. And the instant you see them walk
through the door, you're right back to being good friends.
Playful conversations fill the air with drinks in your hand.
For ladies, women, or whoever may be inclined to wear lingerie,
(05:35):
house parties are your chance to shine.
Where else do you get to strut around in your sexiest lingerie for hours?
A woman will get a cute little outfit with lace and straps. She puts it on for
her husband and it stays on for all of like five minutes until he can clumsily
get her out of it. House party though.
Ladies can can wear lingerie or multiple sets or multiple outfits or nothing
at all. At the party, most ladies did at least two costume changes as the night went on.
(05:58):
Ladies arrived in like nice cocktail dresses or flapper outfits and then like
beautiful rhinestone covered butterflies, they transformed into erotic lace goddesses.
I know for this episode, I will be using broad generalizations.
Every party is different. Every host is different. This advice is all around
useful, but I do realize that not every bit will apply to every party.
Just say that this is like a general primer on what to And every week around
(06:24):
the world, very nice swingers open their homes to their friends.
Some couples throw parties once or twice a year. Others throw them every weekend.
It totally depends on the social capacity of your local area.
And yeah, parties exist.
And now that you know parties exist, the next question is how do I get invited to a lifestyle party?
Simple answer is you got to know people. You got to have a large social network.
(06:45):
These parties are usually not advertised online or on social media.
Word of mouth will get you in the door. You might fall into it with a local
lifestyle group that throws parties. You might know a couple that throws these parties.
Be polite, be courteous, be the kind of person that people want to invite to their home.
The benefit of attending a party thrown by someone you know is that you can
ask and find out what kind of party this is in advance.
(07:06):
If you happen to stumble across a house party listed on a lifestyle site like
SDC, you may not personally know the host.
So I recommend reaching out then and asking questions you need to ask before
you commit to attending. And oh yeah, RSVP, damn it.
Swingers are a non-committal bunch of people. It is like organizing and it's
like herding cats over a mountain.
(07:27):
Let the host of the party know that you're coming or not. So they have a good
idea of how many people to expect. This is basic party etiquette right here for lifestyle parties.
This is important though. Something different. Do not publicize someone else's
party. Don't go blabbing about it in chat groups or social media.
These are private affairs for a fucking reason. Unless the host specifically
says this is an open invitation to everyone out there, which I promise is very rare.
(07:52):
Do not go tell every swinger you know that there's a party this weekend.
It is not your responsibility to get guests for this party unless the host asks
you to to be involved in that part of planning.
That's how you end up with uninvited guests, and we're gonna talk about them in a minute.
As I write this, I realize that most of my advice will come straight out of
any modern party etiquette book, but with a twist.
The twist is titties, or the potential for sexual activities.
(08:15):
So anyway, yay, you got lucky, you got invited to a party. What do you need
to know if you were invited to a lifestyle house party?
Is there a theme? Most parties I've attended have had a theme or explicitly
said there is a party theme or no party theme.
And look, we had a house party here where there was no theme because I don't
want anyone to bother with having to dress up.
We want to just have a very chill kind of party. Other parties though,
(08:37):
there are themes and themes might be bikinis or holidays or fantasy elves or fire eyes, something.
The party we attended last weekend inspired this episode, which was so good
I had to share it with everyone.
The theme was USA, 1920s, the roaring 20s, great Gatsby, gold and black and
silver decorations with blow-up champagne bottles. My friend went all out.
(08:59):
Every room was decorated. They converted their garage into a dance floor.
Ladies wore flapper outfits with fringes and sequins, and the men wore suits. It was all very snazzy.
And I can't sing enough praises for the setup of this party.
They had a stripper pole and party lights.
And we also have this mutual DJ friend who offered to do the music as a birthday
present for my friend. This was a top-notch house party.
(09:21):
I ask kindly of everyone, if there is a theme, put some effort into the costume.
As a party host, as someone who has thrown themed parties, it is fun to see everyone dress up.
To the guys who think they are too cool to dress up, you are not.
You are not too cool to dress up. You stick out in the crowd because you're
the only one who isn't dressed up.
At this party, all the other men were in slacks and vests, and there was just
(09:42):
one dude who was in blue jeans.
One of these things is not like the other. Next item to note,
and I'm going to be blunt here.
You need to know this from the party host. Is this an orgy?
Orgy and house party are very different. Orgy means everyone is getting naked
at some point and doing the happy swappy.
House parties typically are not orgies unless they explicitly tell you.
(10:06):
There may be playrooms with an orgy happening in that room, but there's no expectation
that everyone at the party will participate.
And I need to dispel a myth right here for our vanilla listeners.
Swinger parties are not key parties. Key parties are not real and never have been real.
They are a Hollywood cliche perpetrated by people who have no idea what the
(10:27):
hell they're talking about.
Key parties exemplify everything vanilla people have wrong in their heads about the lifestyle.
At these parties, no one is taking out a fishbowl, putting everyone's car keys
in there, and randomly selecting a partner for the night.
This violates all of our core tenets of safety and consent.
Most couples in the lifestyle play together. Did you know that?
(10:48):
As in one couple engages with another couple.
There is no random separating or swapping based on pulling out fucking car keys.
Think about it. You pick out a random set of keys. Maybe you're not physically
personally attracted to the person you picked.
Now you're forced to do something with someone you don't want to.
That violates our rules of consent and free choice.
We need to bear this, this, y'all. Key parties are not real.
(11:11):
Key parties do not happen. Key parties did not happen. There is no historical
evidence of them happening.
There's no random selection of sexual partners at a swinger party.
And I know the vanilla crowd is thinking, well, but there could be.
Yeah, but there ain't. This is a bullshit fantasy constructed by vanilla Hollywood
writers who created assumptions and connections in a narrative that are not there.
(11:34):
I've never seen it happen, nor have I met anyone who says that it happened to
them. We don't operate that way. Key parties, not real.
Just gonna hammer this point home, because I got to. Swinger parties, they can be super sexy.
Swinger parties cannot be sexy.
Lifestyle people can have a party and nothing happens sexually.
It is possible. I know I just blew the mind of some vanilla person out there.
(11:57):
Look, we can control ourselves, huh? It's wild.
When you get the invitation, two questions to ask. First, can you help the host set up,
These parties are a lot of work. I say that from personally throwing parties
and personally helping set up for other parties.
Between the decorations or moving furniture or cleaning, prepping for a party is some work.
(12:17):
Offer to help. It is super appreciated when someone offers. They may turn you
down, that's okay. You offer it. It shows that you're a considerate person.
For my friend who threw her 1920s party during the week, we went over there,
we helped them take furniture out of their house because couches and big chairs just get in the way.
And we also helped construct decorations celebrations.
I've been to other parties where we help cook. Plus, it gives you bonus time with a host.
(12:39):
And I really don't see it as work. I see it as just being a good friend in person.
The other question, the guest list. Is the guest list open or closed?
See, I told you we're going to talk about uninvited guests.
You can ask the host, could you bring a friend if you wanted to?
Maybe you know a couple that you think would really enjoy this upcoming party, which is fine.
But ask first. Do not bring uninvited guests to a house party.
(13:02):
And come on, that applies to like like vanilla parties as well.
That person you want to bring, maybe the party host doesn't personally like them, which happens.
More likely it's a consideration of privacy and the other guest.
Could be the person you want to invite works with the party host and that's
not a good way to get out it. The party host will invite the people they want to attend.
I know that sounds harsh, but again, this is someone's house.
(13:25):
You have to respect that. I personally don't want strangers walking around my
house. All my stuff is here.
I don't want a coworker or vanilla person and accidentally stumbling into my
party. The other consideration for a host is space.
Personally ran into this one too. Having 20 people over, everybody might fit
comfortably in the house or spill onto the back porch.
(13:45):
Double or triple that number and now everyone is shoulder to shoulder and there is no room.
Then you end up with like 60 people in your house and you don't know half of
them and you can't even get through your own kitchen. Look around your house
or your apartment or space.
Think about how many people you could comfortably fit in there.
Now ponder if everyone else brought a friend. Yeah, that's a lot of people.
So ask the host if you can bring someone one before you reach out to a friend
(14:07):
and invite them to the party. Don't do this ass backwards.
Always ask the host first. And it may happen you find out about a party that
you weren't invited to. Please don't get butthurt.
Ask the host to put you on the guest list for the next party.
That's it. No sour feelings.
I promise you 99% of the time, the reason you didn't get invited, it wasn't personal.
Remember these parties, the goal is to socialize, not get laid.
(14:30):
The best way to have fun is to have no expectations.
Some people do show up looking to get frisky and that's cool.
I'm telling you though, generally, it's better to have no expectations.
Focus on the socializing.
That's what these parties are really about. Hanging out with friends,
meeting new people, and having a good time in a relaxed environment versus trying
to bang it out with new people.
(14:51):
Another socially friendly thing to do is ask the host if you need to bring anything.
Food, paper towel, alcohol, this is a basic etiquette for any party.
If you bring a hot dish, think about how to keep it warm.
And if there's an outlet available for like a crock pot and also bring your own serving utensils.
Personally, I'm a big fan of charcuterie boards. Finger foods are easy for people
(15:13):
to pick up and snack on. No extra plates or cutlery required.
Easy cleanup, not messy. After the party, the only dish left is the board,
which is easy to wash and pick up later.
Alcohol for a party is an okay idea. Not a bad idea unless it's a sober party
or like California sober.
Ask the host if they have a preference. So looking at a bottle of wine or maybe
a bottle of hard liquor. I know some people will insist on bringing something.
(15:37):
Here's my random list of things you can bring to a party that a host might appreciate.
Party games, dice cards, paper towels. That's not sexy, but it's necessary.
Ice is always welcome and drink mixers are good, like Coke, Sprite, orange juice.
Night of the party, maybe the day of the party if you're doing a bunch of day
drinking, which is also really fun.
You show up at the house. I don't realize I keep saying house,
(15:58):
but it might be an apartment or some other place where a person lives.
Just run with me. You and your spouse gets dressed up and you arrive at the party.
Usually if this is the first time at the house, the host will give you a tour.
If you are hosting y'all, give people a tour.
Show them the bathroom, show them the designated play areas.
And talking about play areas, don't fuck on the couches.
I have one rule in my parties, don't fuck on my couches. Maybe the host is okay with that.
(16:22):
Generally, the host will provide a separate play area or room for any shenanigans.
Respect that. It is a raging bitch to clean sex fluids out of certain fabrics.
The host should have a space set up with beds and towels and such for those
activities if y'all are being encouraged to play at the party.
It is possible to have a lifestyle gathering with no playroom and the host,
(16:43):
I don't want to say discourages fuckery, but it may be implied that no fuckery
is going to happen based on the lack of fuckery space.
Sometimes you just want to have a party without a bunch of fuckery.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but do not come on the curtains.
Don't squirt on the walls. One of you heathens out there needs to hear this.
I know at a sex club, you think fuck it and you spray and play and leave DNA everywhere.
(17:07):
It is disgusting at a club and it is double disgusting at a house party.
This is someone's house and unless they are directly involved in producing that
DNA everywhere, they probably won't take too kindly to you just coming on the
curtains. So in the playroom, clean up after yourself.
Don't make a mess. Change the sheets if the host requests that between sessions.
Now the host may provide condoms and lube and towels and wet wipes.
(17:28):
Maybe, maybe not. So you need to make sure you bring your own hoe bag just in
case. Always be prepared.
And again, Again, basic etiquette, y'all. If you make a mess in someone's house,
clean it up. Throw away your trash.
I know this sounds dumb that I have to say this, but I have thrown parties and
seen and cleaned the mess y'all heathens can make.
The host of the party may also share designated areas where you're allowed to
be naked and in revealing clothing.
(17:50):
Respect it. Respect the neighbors, especially if the party is happening in an
apartment building or a neighborhood.
Don't run around the backyard naked if there's neighbors close by.
Ladies, use a cover-up as you walk down the sidewalk to the house.
You are more than welcome to strip down as soon as you get in the front door.
Some neighbors have a pesky issue with rampant sex parties happening on their
street, so don't give them any fuel for that fire.
(18:12):
On the tour, the host may point out private areas of the house that they do not want guests.
Don't go in there. Maybe it's a kid's room or the master bedroom. Just don't go in.
If the door is closed, assume they don't fucking want you in there.
Yeah, no matter how good of friends you may be with a host, just don't fucking go in there.
Respect their privacy and stay the hell out. The host may also provide a list
(18:33):
of house rules in advance, or they'll share the rules when you arrive.
Know the rules and abide by them. It is their house, and you are a guest,
and you need to respect their space.
If you happen to see someone breaking a rule in a very egregious manner,
or behaving in an unsafe manner or being a jerk, making other guests uncomfortable, notify the host.
It does not have to be a big production or make a big fuss.
(18:55):
Just let the host know so they can deal with it. Lifestyle parties have an added
layer of sexual energy and tension.
If Bill from work has too many beers, you throw him on the back porch and he sleeps it off.
If Bill, your lifestyle friend, has too many beers and starts getting handsy
with too many people, that is a violation of consent in the lifestyle and a much bigger issue.
Like any party, do not overdo the alcohol or illicit substances.
(19:17):
You do not want to spend the night throwing up because you just had to to have
an extra shot of tequila.
If the host only has one bathroom, now you are tying up the bathroom with your
attention and to the toilet and no one else can go pee.
For pictures, only take pictures in designated areas.
Most parties I've been to and hosted, we got a theme backdrop and really most
(19:37):
hotel takeovers and events I've been to, they have a backdrop and probably some ring lights.
The reason this exists is because it is a lifestyle, social faux pas to take
random pictures at the party and really any lifestyle event without the consent
of everyone in that picture.
That is how people get accidentally outed. You take a pic at a party,
you and your bestie swinger friend just look super cute, and you take the pic
(20:00):
to commemorate the night.
And then you think, I'll just put it up on Facebook because you need the world
to see your just smashing outfit. fit.
And in the background is a high school teacher from another city.
It's a good shot of her full square on face pic. And she's wearing nipple pasties and lingerie.
Someone always knows someone and they put two and two together.
And that person is now outed in the lifestyle because you took a picture and posted it.
(20:24):
Don't do that. For parties, I believe in leaving only footprints.
The night is great and epic. And yeah, there might be some pictures,
but generally just attend the party, focus, have fun and move on.
You don't need a hundred pictures of the night. Focus on the party instead of the pictures.
And for everything good and holy in the world, do not share those pictures outside
the lifestyle if there is anyone else in the background for conversations.
(20:47):
And yes, I need to tell someone this too. Avoid controversial topics like religion
or politics when you're talking to people.
No one cares who you voted for or who you plan to vote for.
Don't be that guy that really wants to share his outlook on any political party.
Also, don't pry into people's personal lives.
They might tell you, I do X or this for a living.
(21:09):
That's it. That's all you need to know. Don't pry into where they work or where
their, what their hours are or their boss's name and the lifestyle.
We are not our jobs and careers.
It is not a social faux pas for people to be cagey about their personal lives.
That goes back to needing discretion.
And if you pry, then people might get suspicious. Remember, there are people
(21:30):
in the lifestyle who could lose their job, social life, and everything if their secret gets out.
The less you know about their vanilla lives, the better.
But, but, but, but, please don't take this to mean that you shouldn't talk to
people. Take initiative and go meet people.
At a bar or a club, there is stupid loud music, which can severely curtail any
meaningful conversation.
At a house party, the music, a little quieter. You can talk and you should go talk.
(21:54):
But Jason, I can't talk about my personal life and politics and religion.
What do I talk about? Talk about the lifestyle.
Ask people how long they've been in the LS. Ask if they've ever been to a resort
or a takeover. Ask about their outfits. Ask about hobbies.
People love to talk about their passions and hobbies. I will gladly talk to
a stranger about 1960s rock music if they're passionate about it.
(22:17):
I have no clue about F1 Formula Racing.
I met a really cool dude at that party, and we talked for like 20 minutes about
racing, and he completely educated me.
Passion is sexy. Hobbies are sexy. Talk about that.
I personally prescribe to the idea that when you take away the obvious and easy,
you're left with the meaningful and good.
What I mean by that is, think about the last vanilla conversation you had.
(22:39):
I bet it was about kids, or money, or work, or the weather.
Yeah, throw all of those topics out. The topics you're left with,
those are the meaningful connections you can make with people beyond the superficial,
Like what are they genuinely interested in?
That's the benefit of the LS. We are able to make meaningful connections as
adults, not just parents or work associates, but as adults.
(23:00):
As the night goes on, the environment will take a turn, and it's wild that you can feel it.
The bodies get hot, people become more comfortable, clothing comes off.
Sexy time is on its way. It's like there's a horny goblin sneaking through the
crowd just bopping people with his horny stick.
Regarding when the sexy time starts, I am personally a fan of leaving the playroom
closed until a set time like midnight. night.
(23:22):
The reason is, it is a clear indicator to those who do not want to engage in
fuckery that nothing's going to happen until that time.
That lets the people know when the boink boink room will be available for who wants it.
I like this idea. It makes people more comfortable to know that there is a set time.
Having that set time, people who are not interested in doing anything,
they know when's a good time to leave politely.
(23:44):
I share this because in my personal experience here.
I have had an orgy form around my wife and I like a swirling cloud of naked
bodies, and we didn't plan or discuss doing anything that night.
So we are stuck sitting in a room fully clothed while an orgy goes down around
us with no clear way to politely dip out. It was fucking awkward.
(24:06):
Conversely, there may not be a set time. The room might be open the whole time.
The tension has to build before a couple or a couple of couples will go in there.
No one wants to be the first. I lie. I'll be the first. I don't care.
For playroom etiquette, ask before you touch. Please abide by this rule.
Same general rules as a sex club minus the curtains.
Don't want to participate or watch? Leave the room. No one is making you stay
(24:29):
or no one should be making you stay in the playroom.
Always get consent from all parties involved in the fuckery before you join in.
Yeah, it might be two people banging it out or it might be seven people in a pile of bodies.
Yes, you need to ask all seven of those people before you pull out your packer.
If someone says no, no means no. Silence is not consent.
You need that verbal affirmative before you join. And always be gracious, accept a simple no.
(24:55):
Be aware, and I'm telling vanilla people this, there might be an audience in
the playroom. You might attract watchers.
Can you fuck with an audience? If you have trouble focusing in a room with another
couple, yeah, it's gonna be double hard when you have like four to 10 people
watching you talking about the weather. Don't go in that room and expect privacy.
Go in that room and put on the best damn show of your life. If you are on the
(25:16):
voyeur side of things, you'll like watching.
Feel free to watch, but please don't be creepy. Don't stare.
Try not to make eye contact. Just don't be a creeper.
I wish I could define this better as in do this and not that,
but it is so hard to define.
Just don't be creepy. We had drinks, we danced, we did the horizontal naked
wrestling, and the night is wrapping up. A big consideration. Do you have a ride home?
(25:39):
Never drink and drive. Never. Line up a way to get home before the party.
Use an Uber, Lyft, or catch a ride from a friend.
The host may offer you a bed for the night, but never assume you and your spouse
can crash at their residence without asking ahead of time.
Good hosts are aware that people may overindulge and can't get back home.
The host may offer a spare bed if they have it. We personally keep a few air
(26:01):
mattresses on hand for this individuality.
I will take their keys, not put them in a fishbowl, and then kindly lead the
inebriated couple to an air mattress.
You will not have a comfortable night of sleep, but at least you're safe.
And just like you can feel the sex vibes building in the air,
you can also feel when the party is winding down.
And I mean this as politely as possible. Get the hell out.
(26:21):
The hosts are probably exhausted and ready to crash, or the host may go to bed
and and leave everyone to keep on partying.
As the party is wrapping up, offer to clean up. It is a nice thing to do because
tomorrow morning, your party host will wake up to a filthy house that will take
hours to rearrange and clean up.
Post-party, thank the host. Reach out, thank them personally.
Standard stuff here. Pick up any dishes you left at their house,
(26:43):
and y'all get ready for the next one.
The host may, maybe, ask for feedback on the party. Be honest if they ask because
it's only with honest critiques that we can do better.
Parties can be as big or as small as you want. You are fully empowered,
though, to throw a party. It ain't a big deal.
Get some snacks, invite some friends over, play music, and have a good time.
You can decorate your house or not. It is totally up to you.
(27:05):
Again, you are fully empowered to have a party if you want to.
I will do a future episode on how
to actually throw the party and all the considerations that go with that.
Keep on the lookout for that one. Till then, throw a party if you want to.
You don't have to ask anyone's permission.
If you know five couples, that is more than enough to have a good time.
And people want stuff to do. too. People want safe environments to do that stuff.
(27:26):
And there's people who may not be into sex clubs or big hotel takeovers.
That means house parties are a great option for them. I always appreciate hearing
your feedback and comments on episodes or suggestions for topics,
so feel free to reach out to me.
Go take a look at my friend's website, www.gentlemans-almanac.com.
He wrote a really good book for gentlemen in the lifestyle.
My personal disclaimer, I am not a medical professional nor a trained and certified
(27:48):
educator of any kind in any way.
I am a guy with a microphone sharing my personal experiences with you.
This podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and please join us for the next episode.
Whatever you may do, I hope you have a fantastic time doing it.
Know that you are appreciated and.
Music.
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