February 20, 2025 • 16 mins
What happens when trust starts to wane in a marriage seemingly bound by love and family? We're tackling this tough issue head-on as we explore a listener's story about dealing with a secretive spouse amidst the joys and pressures of expecting their fourth child. With a focus on trust, communication, and the emotional complexities of family life, we'll discuss why setting personal boundaries is crucial now more than ever. This episode also touches on the financial realities of expanding a family and why it's vital to support the children you bring into this world, both emotionally and financially. Join us as we unpack the layers of maintaining self-esteem and openness in relationships that are supposed to be built on transparency.
Ever felt judged for your fashion choices? You're not alone. Our next tale revolves around a listener who finds herself mocked by her partner for wearing an orange pumpkin sweater. We dive into why such criticism might be more about the critic's insecurities than the outfit itself and why staying true to oneself is non-negotiable. Everyone deserves a partner who cherishes them, quirks and all, and if your significant other continually puts you down, it might be time to reassess if they truly embrace you for who you are. With a mix of empathy and practical advice, we aim to guide you on how to handle undue negativity while celebrating your unique sense of style.
Join our private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/771136888074777
Follow Melissa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missjayl/
Follow Melissa on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healthychef1
Follow Allison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paperdolllface/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Dating.
Daycare where we help younavigate through the jungle of
jerks ladies, and it is 2025.
Yeah, I know how is everybodydoing for 2025?
We just started hopefully well,and if not, we're going to help
you get through it, becausethat's what we're here to do.
(00:27):
We are here to help younavigate through all your dating
woes of 2025.
And God knows there's going tobe quite a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
We have a bowl full of issues.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Full of issues.
Today we're doing a fishbowl,so you?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
yeah, we scour the internet and find women with
different.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Questions.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Scenarios, Scenarios questions, dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
We put it in a fishbowl, so these are real
questions from real women likeyourself, and we're here to help
you answer them.
I print them out anonymously,throw them in the fishbowl and
we go for it, you still have aprinter at home?
I do.
How else are you supposed toprint it out?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I don't own a printer .
Do you know how much?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
that's because Allison has no children.
If you had all these scienceprojects and book reports and
all this stuff and pictures yougotta glue on and I'm a chef too
.
Do you know how many recipeslike if, if it's like a regular
recipe, like I have a muffinbased recipe that I follow for
(01:36):
all my muffin, all right.
Anyway, getting back ladies.
Okay, I need a printer.
I don't know about you outthere, but I need a printer.
Okay, allison, you're up, I'mgonna let you go first for 2025.
Thank you, you go first, digdeep, yeah, deep let's see I got
.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Let's see what I got here, all right, let's hear it.
Okay, this is a bad mom.
Um hi, ladies, I really needsome advice because I feel like
I'm going crazy if I don't findout.
Yes, I already feel, I know, Ifeel like I know, but I'm trying
(02:18):
to really trust my spouse, evenif it makes me look crazy.
Oh boy, me and my husband havebeen together for four years.
I'm currently pregnant with ourfourth child.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Ooh, they're busy.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, and he said he's wanted some space which is
fine.
Is that fine, really Okay?
Here lately he's been supersneaky with his phone, like he
will literally lay it on so Ican't lay on it, so I can't grab
it.
That's crazy.
I don't usually check his phone.
(02:51):
He changed his password towhere I can't get it, but yet he
can get into mine anytime hewants, which is fine with me.
He's just been acting sodistant lately and he says he's
trying to be nice so I can getused to us not being together,
but I also.
I just feel like he's cheating,but I have no proof.
(03:12):
Has anyone's husband or spouseacted this way and they weren't
cheating?
I just really need advice as towhat to do.
Also, he says he's not talkingto anyone else.
I've, I've done asked, I'vedone asked, uh, but he won't let
me see his phone at all.
Um, yeah, I don't like this.
(03:35):
There's a lot that I don't like.
I mean, if you're boyfriend andgirlfriend and you, you need
time apart, but they're not.
They're, they're married, soyou have a contract here.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
But wait, what really disturbed me first and we talk
about this all the time whatcaught me?
I just need reference.
See, thank God it's printed Allright.
So what really caught me hereis when she said I'm trying to
really trust my spouse, even ifit makes me look crazy.
Right there told me that herself-esteem and her boundaries
(04:12):
on what she will accept andwon't accept for herself were
very low.
Because if anybody, if you'rewilling to accept something that
somebody's doing to you thatyou don't like, even if it makes
you look crazy, that's never agood thing.
Most people sort of defendthemselves so they don't look
(04:34):
crazy, even if they are crazy.
This one's saying he makes melook crazy and I'm willing to
accept that if he's just notcheating.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So that's the first thing, and also what I get from
that is that cognitively sheunderstands that all these
things that are going on don'tadd up yeah.
So if, like she, were lookingat a friend in this situation,
she would be like yeah, no, andfor kids in four years, we're
going to go back to what mygrandmother said ladies, what's
(05:05):
that?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Only have as many children as you can financially
take care of yourself.
Yeah, right, so that's whyyou're an only child?
Well, yeah, and that's why Ionly have two, because, as I am,
I can financially take care.
I am confident I can take careof them efficiently.
Yeah, I am confident I can takecare of them efficiently.
Four kids, that and see.
(05:28):
Sorry, ladies, but when you havefour kids and you're thinking
that your husband is cheating onyou he's super sneaky.
You're not allowed to look athis phone.
Listen, the only reason you'renot allowed to look at
somebody's phone is becausethere's something there they
don't want you to see.
Yeah, done, yeah, done, okay,there's no, anybody could look
at my phone, anybody.
You know.
(05:49):
Whenever somebody won't let youlook at something or see
something, it's because they'reguilty of something.
That right.
There is another red flag andthe fact that he's like I want
you to get used to us, I needtime apart.
You're married and you needtime apart.
Guess what?
The day you got married is theday you gave that privilege up.
(06:10):
You get some time apart.
There is no time apart.
If you want time apart, youshould have stayed single and
not got married.
Absolutely Right.
Next, he said that he wants herto get used to being apart.
He doesn't want to be with you.
Unfortunately and you know whatthat's really scary.
When you're home, we don't knowher working situation or her
(06:34):
financial situation, but whenyou have four kids, that's real
and she's pregnant.
Did she say with her fourth?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah, pregnant with her fourth.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So three kids and pregnant with your fourth.
Unfortunately for us women andthat's why I preach this all the
time and I tell my daughter allthe time the thought of
depending on a man is alwaysvery nice, but then, when the ax
comes down one day if it evercomes down the fear sets in.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And I don't think the fear is worth the.
That shouldn't be what'skeeping you together.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But with three kids, she's got to get her shit
together.
She has no job.
She's a stay-at-home mom.
She's got to get a job and then, after she gets a job, she's
got to start saving her moneyuntil she leaves this man.
Otherwise she's going to bewith three kids pregnant.
He's going to throw her out ofthe house.
I mean, who?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
knows.
I would love to.
I'm sure by now she already hashad the kid.
She has an infant.
I'd love to follow up withthese people and see what.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Well, she's gonna stay.
This woman, just like manywomen and I get it are gonna
stay and if they never becomefinancially independent, as we
see, all the time they end upstaying.
Look at the trauma therapist wehad.
But our advice here is this ismy advice to this woman he
doesn't like you, whether he'scheating or not.
No it, it really doesn't matter.
Listen, I've been with plenty.
My ex does not like me.
(07:55):
He does not like me.
He never cheated on me, but asa human being he does not like
me.
You shouldn't be with peoplethat don't like you.
Somebody doesn't have to dosomebody horrific to give you
the right to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Doesn't like her, but sure has no problem
impregnating her.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, but that's her problem.
But she, you know they both gotinto that position.
So my advice to her is hedoesn't like you, he doesn't
respect you.
He's telling you he wants timeapart from you.
You need to have the baby.
Get a job, save your money Ifyou don't have anybody that can
allow you make a plan and youneed to leave, because the more
(08:42):
you stay and he sees that you'refinancially dependent on him,
the more he's going to abuse youand take advantage, because he
knows you won't leave All right.
On to the next, on to the next,on to the next.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh it's a long one.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I really need to know why my boyfriend does this.
We went to Walmart on Saturdayand I sent oh and I seen a
sweater that was orange with apumpkin on it.
Halloween is my favoriteholiday.
He told me it was ugly, but Ibought it anyways.
So later that day I put it onand he said this is so ugly.
I said I don't care.
(09:20):
He said well, you have apumpkin head, so he always makes
fun of my head, but I don'tcare.
Other people in the past saidit as well.
So she has a big head, allright, so I don't take it
personally.
Now he has said in the past thatmy green sweater was so ugly.
The ring I picked out he boughtme said it was ugly, and the
(09:46):
shoes I picked out but boughtfor me Mother's Day was ugly as
hell.
Why does he keep putting medown about my clothes?
We have different styles and Inever once put him down on what
he wears.
I know he is so insecure, but Idon't know why he does this.
Does this make him feel betterabout himself?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yes, this is.
If she didn't say that, talkabout the insecurity I was going
to it's projection.
And also, I just have topreface this whole thing by
saying, as a member of themassive cranium club, I take
high offense at him making funof the size of her head.
But yeah, don't you think thathe this is like stemming from
low self-esteem and by puttingother people he's making himself
(10:33):
feel better?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I get it, but you know what I want to address.
I agree with you, but this iswhat I want to address, ladies,
and I keep saying this, and I'mgoing to keep saying this, I'm
going to sound like a brokenrecord.
There doesn't have to be thislike huge psychological reason
(10:55):
why somebody just doesn't likeyou.
He just does not like.
He may he don't like the wayyou dress, which means he
doesn't like the way you look ona daily basis, and then isn't
(11:17):
attracted to you.
I can't look at a man personallythat's dressed a certain way.
That's not my.
I mean, listen, my style isvery broad.
I could look at a biker, Icould look at a preppy guy with
a polo.
I mean I got a broad spectrumgoing on, right.
But if there's a certain guythat's dressed a way that I
don't like, it makes me notattracted to him, like I would
let and be like oh my God, lookat that, just as a man would do
(11:37):
with me, you know.
So there doesn't need to be areason.
The fact of the matter is he'smaking fun of you all the time,
making fun of your head, makingfun of the clothes you wear.
Why do we need?
A man is supposed to be like.
Oh my God, alison, you lookbeautiful today.
That's such a nice skirt always.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I always look beautiful, but this, but that's,
that's half your job as a manyeah, to tell the woman that you
like that they're beautiful,that they but my spidey senses
are telling me that this a guywho acts like this will act like
this with any woman.
He's I'm I'm not saying it'sher.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Right.
I'm just saying that he's nottreating you right, dump him.
I keep telling you this, ladies.
Dump him.
Like and here's another thing,and I think we've discussed this
before Don't change.
A lot of women in thissituation would say alright, I
won't wear the green sweater,alright, I won't wear the
pumpkin sweater.
And you know what?
(12:34):
My ex we discussed this my extried to do that to me.
He's like really Melissa thenails, really Melissa the, you
know the, the hair, your yourbig boot.
And I'm like, yeah, move to theleft.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Like I was like this the day you met me.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I'm going to be like this, you know, until I decide
to change or the day I die.
And if you don't like it,that's cool.
You could go find what you like.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
There are a lot of women who will twist themselves
into pretzels to suit a guy I'llnever forget.
This was my first job at Bathand Body Works.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
My daughter loves Bath and Body.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And I remember selling whatever body lotion or
body spray to this woman.
She's like oh yeah, I like that, but my boyfriend doesn't, so
I'm not going to buy it.
And I just, you know my teenageself didn't understand why a
grown woman wouldn't buy whatshe likes.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Absolutely.
Ladies, don't let anybody tryand change you.
You like the pumpkin sweater orthe ugly Christmas sweater?
You go ahead and wear it, andyou know what.
Your significant other couldeither deal with looking at the
ugly pumpkin sweater if hethinks it's ugly, or he can move
on to a girl that would neverwear a pumpkin sweater his
choice.
But you don't need to hear the,the aftermath, the lashing, the
(13:56):
putting you down.
What are you wearing?
Why are you wearing I'd love?
Just for shits and giggles.
I'd love to see a picture ofthis guy, but it doesn't even
matter, but I know it doesn'teven matter what he looks like
but I'm just curious, doesn'teven matter, like I always say
when I tried to get back with myex and I still have the list
there was 35 things.
(14:17):
He wanted me to change 35.
I wouldn't change 35.
That's when I say I'm done.
I wouldn't change 35 things foranybody If the Greek God came
down.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What that means is that he just needs a different
person, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But this is my point.
Ladies person, absolutely, butthis is my point, ladies.
If a man is asking you tochange all these the shoes, the
sweater, the big hat, things youcan't even change it's time to
move on.
You'll find a guy that'll buyhis own pumpkin sweater and wear
it with you on Halloween.
How about that one, right?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, there's a lid for everypot.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
That's right.
Yeah, we hope We'll let youknow.
Yeah, there is I think there ishave you found your lid yet.
Allison, yeah, you've beenthrough quite a few lids.
So when you find that lid, youcan't wait to hear we're going
to do a Dick of the Week.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, we are Very exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah, we're going to do a Dick of the Week and you'll
hear you, never A shortage.
If Allison found the lid to herpot yet You'll let them know.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Listen, yeah, listen in ladies.
I'll let you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
So that is our fishbowl for the week.
We hope you enjoyed.
We will continue to print outmore questions and we will
continue to try and help you,ladies out, with our advice and
hopefully everybody can relateto all these questions.
You know, with every questionthat's different.
We've all had a man that didn'tlike what we wear.
(15:43):
I'm sure We've all had a manthat you know wouldn't let you
look at his phone Like.
I'm hoping that everybody cantry to print out questions.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That's relatable to the masses through eons of
dating.
So you know what?
I don't know.
If people remember, you can goon to Apple Podcasts or whatever
and write us messages directlyon whatever platform.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Tell us your questions for 2025.
Yeah, and we'll answer themdirectly.
Alright, it sounds good.
Have a good day and we'llanswer them directly.
All right, it sounds good.
Have a good day and we will seeyou soon.
Thank you for watching datingdaycare.
Bye.
Welcome to Dating.
Daycare where we help younavigate through the jungle of
jerks ladies, and it is 2025.
Yeah, I know how is everybodydoing for 2025?
We just started hopefully well,and if not, we're going to help
you get through it, becausethat's what we're here to do.
(00:27):
We are here to help younavigate through all your dating
woes of 2025.
And God knows there's going tobe quite a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
We have a bowl full of issues.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Full of issues.
Today we're doing a fishbowl,so you?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
yeah, we scour the internet and find women with
different.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Questions.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Scenarios, Scenarios questions, dilemmas.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
We put it in a fishbowl, so these are real
questions from real women likeyourself, and we're here to help
you answer them.
I print them out anonymously,throw them in the fishbowl and
we go for it, you still have aprinter at home?
I do.
How else are you supposed toprint it out?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I don't own a printer .
Do you know how much?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
that's because Allison has no children.
If you had all these scienceprojects and book reports and
all this stuff and pictures yougotta glue on and I'm a chef too
.
Do you know how many recipeslike if, if it's like a regular
recipe, like I have a muffinbased recipe that I follow for
(01:36):
all my muffin, all right.
Anyway, getting back ladies.
Okay, I need a printer.
I don't know about you outthere, but I need a printer.
Okay, allison, you're up, I'mgonna let you go first for 2025.
Thank you, you go first, digdeep, yeah, deep let's see I got
.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Let's see what I got here, all right, let's hear it.
Okay, this is a bad mom.
Um hi, ladies, I really needsome advice because I feel like
I'm going crazy if I don't findout.
Yes, I already feel, I know, Ifeel like I know, but I'm trying
(02:18):
to really trust my spouse, evenif it makes me look crazy.
Oh boy, me and my husband havebeen together for four years.
I'm currently pregnant with ourfourth child.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Ooh, they're busy.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, and he said he's wanted some space which is
fine.
Is that fine, really Okay?
Here lately he's been supersneaky with his phone, like he
will literally lay it on so Ican't lay on it, so I can't grab
it.
That's crazy.
I don't usually check his phone.
(02:51):
He changed his password towhere I can't get it, but yet he
can get into mine anytime hewants, which is fine with me.
He's just been acting sodistant lately and he says he's
trying to be nice so I can getused to us not being together,
but I also.
I just feel like he's cheating,but I have no proof.
(03:12):
Has anyone's husband or spouseacted this way and they weren't
cheating?
I just really need advice as towhat to do.
Also, he says he's not talkingto anyone else.
I've, I've done asked, I'vedone asked, uh, but he won't let
me see his phone at all.
Um, yeah, I don't like this.
(03:35):
There's a lot that I don't like.
I mean, if you're boyfriend andgirlfriend and you, you need
time apart, but they're not.
They're, they're married, soyou have a contract here.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
But wait, what really disturbed me first and we talk
about this all the time whatcaught me?
I just need reference.
See, thank God it's printed Allright.
So what really caught me hereis when she said I'm trying to
really trust my spouse, even ifit makes me look crazy.
Right there told me that herself-esteem and her boundaries
(04:12):
on what she will accept andwon't accept for herself were
very low.
Because if anybody, if you'rewilling to accept something that
somebody's doing to you thatyou don't like, even if it makes
you look crazy, that's never agood thing.
Most people sort of defendthemselves so they don't look
(04:34):
crazy, even if they are crazy.
This one's saying he makes melook crazy and I'm willing to
accept that if he's just notcheating.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So that's the first thing, and also what I get from
that is that cognitively sheunderstands that all these
things that are going on don'tadd up yeah.
So if, like she, were lookingat a friend in this situation,
she would be like yeah, no, andfor kids in four years, we're
going to go back to what mygrandmother said ladies, what's
(05:05):
that?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Only have as many children as you can financially
take care of yourself.
Yeah, right, so that's whyyou're an only child?
Well, yeah, and that's why Ionly have two, because, as I am,
I can financially take care.
I am confident I can take careof them efficiently.
Yeah, I am confident I can takecare of them efficiently.
Four kids, that and see.
(05:28):
Sorry, ladies, but when you havefour kids and you're thinking
that your husband is cheating onyou he's super sneaky.
You're not allowed to look athis phone.
Listen, the only reason you'renot allowed to look at
somebody's phone is becausethere's something there they
don't want you to see.
Yeah, done, yeah, done, okay,there's no, anybody could look
at my phone, anybody.
You know.
(05:49):
Whenever somebody won't let youlook at something or see
something, it's because they'reguilty of something.
That right.
There is another red flag andthe fact that he's like I want
you to get used to us, I needtime apart.
You're married and you needtime apart.
Guess what?
The day you got married is theday you gave that privilege up.
(06:10):
You get some time apart.
There is no time apart.
If you want time apart, youshould have stayed single and
not got married.
Absolutely Right.
Next, he said that he wants herto get used to being apart.
He doesn't want to be with you.
Unfortunately and you know whatthat's really scary.
When you're home, we don't knowher working situation or her
(06:34):
financial situation, but whenyou have four kids, that's real
and she's pregnant.
Did she say with her fourth?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yeah, pregnant with her fourth.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So three kids and pregnant with your fourth.
Unfortunately for us women andthat's why I preach this all the
time and I tell my daughter allthe time the thought of
depending on a man is alwaysvery nice, but then, when the ax
comes down one day if it evercomes down the fear sets in.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And I don't think the fear is worth the.
That shouldn't be what'skeeping you together.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
But with three kids, she's got to get her shit
together.
She has no job.
She's a stay-at-home mom.
She's got to get a job and then, after she gets a job, she's
got to start saving her moneyuntil she leaves this man.
Otherwise she's going to bewith three kids pregnant.
He's going to throw her out ofthe house.
I mean, who?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
knows.
I would love to.
I'm sure by now she already hashad the kid.
She has an infant.
I'd love to follow up withthese people and see what.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Well, she's gonna stay.
This woman, just like manywomen and I get it are gonna
stay and if they never becomefinancially independent, as we
see, all the time they end upstaying.
Look at the trauma therapist wehad.
But our advice here is this ismy advice to this woman he
doesn't like you, whether he'scheating or not.
No it, it really doesn't matter.
Listen, I've been with plenty.
My ex does not like me.
(07:55):
He does not like me.
He never cheated on me, but asa human being he does not like
me.
You shouldn't be with peoplethat don't like you.
Somebody doesn't have to dosomebody horrific to give you
the right to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Doesn't like her, but sure has no problem
impregnating her.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, but that's her problem.
But she, you know they both gotinto that position.
So my advice to her is hedoesn't like you, he doesn't
respect you.
He's telling you he wants timeapart from you.
You need to have the baby.
Get a job, save your money Ifyou don't have anybody that can
allow you make a plan and youneed to leave, because the more
(08:42):
you stay and he sees that you'refinancially dependent on him,
the more he's going to abuse youand take advantage, because he
knows you won't leave All right.
On to the next, on to the next,on to the next.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Oh it's a long one.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I really need to know why my boyfriend does this.
We went to Walmart on Saturdayand I sent oh and I seen a
sweater that was orange with apumpkin on it.
Halloween is my favoriteholiday.
He told me it was ugly, but Ibought it anyways.
So later that day I put it onand he said this is so ugly.
I said I don't care.
(09:20):
He said well, you have apumpkin head, so he always makes
fun of my head, but I don'tcare.
Other people in the past saidit as well.
So she has a big head, allright, so I don't take it
personally.
Now he has said in the past thatmy green sweater was so ugly.
The ring I picked out he boughtme said it was ugly, and the
(09:46):
shoes I picked out but boughtfor me Mother's Day was ugly as
hell.
Why does he keep putting medown about my clothes?
We have different styles and Inever once put him down on what
he wears.
I know he is so insecure, but Idon't know why he does this.
Does this make him feel betterabout himself?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yes, this is.
If she didn't say that, talkabout the insecurity I was going
to it's projection.
And also, I just have topreface this whole thing by
saying, as a member of themassive cranium club, I take
high offense at him making funof the size of her head.
But yeah, don't you think thathe this is like stemming from
low self-esteem and by puttingother people he's making himself
(10:33):
feel better?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I get it, but you know what I want to address.
I agree with you, but this iswhat I want to address, ladies,
and I keep saying this, and I'mgoing to keep saying this, I'm
going to sound like a brokenrecord.
There doesn't have to be thislike huge psychological reason
(10:55):
why somebody just doesn't likeyou.
He just does not like.
He may he don't like the wayyou dress, which means he
doesn't like the way you look ona daily basis, and then isn't
(11:17):
attracted to you.
I can't look at a man personallythat's dressed a certain way.
That's not my.
I mean, listen, my style isvery broad.
I could look at a biker, Icould look at a preppy guy with
a polo.
I mean I got a broad spectrumgoing on, right.
But if there's a certain guythat's dressed a way that I
don't like, it makes me notattracted to him, like I would
let and be like oh my God, lookat that, just as a man would do
(11:37):
with me, you know.
So there doesn't need to be areason.
The fact of the matter is he'smaking fun of you all the time,
making fun of your head, makingfun of the clothes you wear.
Why do we need?
A man is supposed to be like.
Oh my God, alison, you lookbeautiful today.
That's such a nice skirt always.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I always look beautiful, but this, but that's,
that's half your job as a manyeah, to tell the woman that you
like that they're beautiful,that they but my spidey senses
are telling me that this a guywho acts like this will act like
this with any woman.
He's I'm I'm not saying it'sher.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Right.
I'm just saying that he's nottreating you right, dump him.
I keep telling you this, ladies.
Dump him.
Like and here's another thing,and I think we've discussed this
before Don't change.
A lot of women in thissituation would say alright, I
won't wear the green sweater,alright, I won't wear the
pumpkin sweater.
And you know what?
(12:34):
My ex we discussed this my extried to do that to me.
He's like really Melissa thenails, really Melissa the, you
know the, the hair, your yourbig boot.
And I'm like, yeah, move to theleft.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Like I was like this the day you met me.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
I'm going to be like this, you know, until I decide
to change or the day I die.
And if you don't like it,that's cool.
You could go find what you like.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
There are a lot of women who will twist themselves
into pretzels to suit a guy I'llnever forget.
This was my first job at Bathand Body Works.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
My daughter loves Bath and Body.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And I remember selling whatever body lotion or
body spray to this woman.
She's like oh yeah, I like that, but my boyfriend doesn't, so
I'm not going to buy it.
And I just, you know my teenageself didn't understand why a
grown woman wouldn't buy whatshe likes.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Absolutely.
Ladies, don't let anybody tryand change you.
You like the pumpkin sweater orthe ugly Christmas sweater?
You go ahead and wear it, andyou know what.
Your significant other couldeither deal with looking at the
ugly pumpkin sweater if hethinks it's ugly, or he can move
on to a girl that would neverwear a pumpkin sweater his
choice.
But you don't need to hear the,the aftermath, the lashing, the
(13:56):
putting you down.
What are you wearing?
Why are you wearing I'd love?
Just for shits and giggles.
I'd love to see a picture ofthis guy, but it doesn't even
matter, but I know it doesn'teven matter what he looks like
but I'm just curious, doesn'teven matter, like I always say
when I tried to get back with myex and I still have the list
there was 35 things.
(14:17):
He wanted me to change 35.
I wouldn't change 35.
That's when I say I'm done.
I wouldn't change 35 things foranybody If the Greek God came
down.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What that means is that he just needs a different
person, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But this is my point.
Ladies person, absolutely, butthis is my point, ladies.
If a man is asking you tochange all these the shoes, the
sweater, the big hat, things youcan't even change it's time to
move on.
You'll find a guy that'll buyhis own pumpkin sweater and wear
it with you on Halloween.
How about that one, right?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, there's a lid for everypot.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
That's right.
Yeah, we hope We'll let youknow.
Yeah, there is I think there ishave you found your lid yet.
Allison, yeah, you've beenthrough quite a few lids.
So when you find that lid, youcan't wait to hear we're going
to do a Dick of the Week.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, we are Very exciting, very exciting.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah, we're going to do a Dick of the Week and you'll
hear you, never A shortage.
If Allison found the lid to herpot yet You'll let them know.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Listen, yeah, listen in ladies.
I'll let you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
So that is our fishbowl for the week.
We hope you enjoyed.
We will continue to print outmore questions and we will
continue to try and help you,ladies out, with our advice and
hopefully everybody can relateto all these questions.
You know, with every questionthat's different.
We've all had a man that didn'tlike what we wear.
(15:43):
I'm sure We've all had a manthat you know wouldn't let you
look at his phone Like.
I'm hoping that everybody cantry to print out questions.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That's relatable to the masses through eons of
dating.
So you know what?
I don't know.
If people remember, you can goon to Apple Podcasts or whatever
and write us messages directlyon whatever platform.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Tell us your questions for 2025.
Yeah, and we'll answer themdirectly.
Alright, it sounds good.
Have a good day and we'llanswer them directly.
All right, it sounds good.
Have a good day and we will seeyou soon.
Thank you for watching datingdaycare.
Bye.
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