November 10, 2024 • 36 mins
Todays Guess Alex Whiteman Talking FKME photoshoots, Sexuality, Health and Body Image within the LGBTQ+ Community
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
(00:07):
Got a bad hop aint I, that's gonna go in the blooper reel
Well, you're not as old as me are you? I'm getting it. I'm not far behind. Yeah, okay. I got the grey in the beard
Me I do I do
Yeah, I was looking potentially get an eyebrow pencil to colour mine in today, eyebrow pencil
No pencil the brush thing. Ah, I can't be fucked dying it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know me if I dyed it go completely the wrong color
(00:34):
I've done that actually
Well anyway, welcome to the you FKME podcast
Today I actually have a good friend of mine on for the first episode Alex whiteman
Say hello Alex introduce yourself
Yeah, hi, I'm Alex whiteman. Tell them what you do Alex. I'm a photographer. I've been photographer for 15 years
(00:54):
Coming up 15 years 15
Cuz you're old now. That's why you had 15 years experience. Well, yeah, I do know old as we were saying. Yeah, I
Was 24 when I went self employed but it oh fair play. I'm 38 now. So
(01:14):
No, so Alex was one of the photographers on the first official FKME photo shoot that was awesome, wasn't it?
That was pretty cool. Yeah, that was this year wasn't it? That was this year. Yeah, I do time. This March. Hmm. Yeah
And even you said like it's very rare to go on a photoshoot that big and this was a brand that was brand new
But as Alex knows me, I don't like to do things by halves. Do I, I'm the same. Yeah. Yeah
(01:39):
I'm a guy that's like half fall not half empty. Yeah
But I'll tell them tell them about the photo shoot kind of how it was right on that day
It was good the mansion was it Antwerp mansion? Yeah, yeah, it was a big derelict mansion
Was yeah, I mean I like derelict buildings actually derelict buildings were the first thing that I ever like going to when I was put a profit
(01:59):
Okay, with people just buildings. No people. Yeah, it's gonna say cuz you're known for like these half naked or fully naked men
In front of the camera. Yeah, when I first got into the industry
There was a kind of a gap in shooting location type stuff. So yeah, I was doing a lot of
Urbexing it's called. It's where you take like it's where you actively look out for abandoned buildings
(02:22):
Okay, when you urbex, so an urbexer usually just goes along to these buildings and like photographs of buildings
But I was traipsing along like
Naked men I was gonna say you're like, oh that building's really good for me. Yeah, that's for a naked man in there
Yeah, so
That derelict building
I've got some scary stories around those kind of buildings, but yeah, Antwerp mansion was yeah along that kind of vibe which I liked
(02:46):
Yeah, and there's a lot of you. It's always hard at 15 models
Photographers. Yeah, it's harder when you've got that many people because you want to give each person like
Good amount of time and usually if people haven't modeled before you need a bit of time with them to like
so with that photo shoot there was like a lot of guys who'd never modeled wasn't there
(03:08):
There's some who had some had dabbled done a little bit and I picked everyone based on personality really very diverse
And obviously some of them because they've never had that opportunity
I was like no you're funny and I want that fun and you were really good at bringing that out
You know because some of the guys they've actually said that you just made them feel super comfortable
And there's some guys who like fairly bigger some guys who not as in shape and they were just like
(03:30):
They're really shy at first. Yeah, when I found like even working in fitness that just because someone maybe looked a certain way
It doesn't mean they know how to model like for me a model is someone who can get in front of the camera and you know
What they're doing? Yeah, because models take all shapes and sizes
But I'm also very much aware that people do get in their own head and feel like they don't look good
And all that kind of stuff, but I'm quite good at directing so
(03:54):
Yeah, I try to make people feel as comfortable as possible and also when someone's just stood there and like
You know pants or hardly anything at all. It's actually quite a vulnerable position
So to be able to like make them feel at ease is like really important. Yeah
I mean like looking at the pictures back
Is it like a segment where you add stew and scritch?
(04:14):
Where he's got like a dog collar on him and he's like choking him with it like in the toilet stalls. Yeah, I was like yeah, choke him harder
Yeah, I mean it really played to their kinks because a scritch for those who don't know he's a pup
Yeah, yeah, I mean I learned about stuff a bit more that during that time as well because
I mean, I don't know much about pup stuff
But the scritch was like do you want me as a human or as a puppy and I was like I've never actually been asked that question before
(04:39):
He basically like switched modes and I could understand that because it is about like yeah being a different mode like I know like
With my own kinks and stuff like because I like to Dom, but when I have when I don't I have to be in that mode like how I am now
Isn't me in Dom mode. Well, let's segue over onto that then so we're talking about kinks and stuff
You obviously you're a Dom
(05:02):
Obviously there's more to it than me in Dom and so what kinks do you have my biggest kink is
Objectifications and anything that comes around that and I know objectification takes my form
So objectification and I do have to explain it a lot to people because when I say it's good
They're like what the fuck is that so objectification in the simplest idea is that you're treating someone as an object and
(05:24):
You could literally just be all gimped out in a rubbery outfit face gone like a identity gone
But that's the easiest way of explaining it and that's not actually the level I like
I actually like being able to see everybody see the person okay, but it's about making that person almost
You're taking away their identity and they're no longer seen as a person and they're just an object that you are my play thing
(05:45):
Yeah, but I also stress that it is only in that moment like I don't want to treat you as that
Like you are a person want to make that clear, so it's like you have this switch and like you've come through the door
Hi Dave nice to meet you. Would you like a cup of tea right now?
On your knees. Yeah, I actually find it easier to go the other way around
So whenever when I've done those sessions
(06:06):
I like to go straight into it and I'm likely to ask how your days go in and the weather's nice afterwards
Okay, I can't be like that. Let's start. that's after care. Isn't it? Yeah. I'll like a hug afterwards. Yes. I I've just objectified you for a while
please cuddle me.
you don't want them to feel super vulnerable now. They've done that they've let go and you're like, so
What's the wildest thing or some of the wildest things funniest things you've done while objectifying someone funniest things?
(06:35):
I can pick up an example
I went around this guy's house and like literally he gave up all control like and I left him pretty much like
Just bound because he wanted to feel like left there like just to be found just just who's gonna find him
I think he it was this is a long time ago, but I think he was like, oh, yeah, no like my flatmate. Yeah
(06:58):
I remember leaving and his cat was in the hallway and
Oh, no one's gonna feed
I looked at the cat and I was like, I'm so sorry. I've done to your owner
I'm not to leave you this cat's like I need food
I felt I felt judged by that cat the cats are very judgy
I mean the cats are knobheads. Yeah, if you're a cat lover, I mean I don't get it
(07:21):
We are talking like 15 years ago, but the fact that stays in my mind
No, I did text I did text him afterwards to make sure it's okay. So it'd be a flatmate. I'm assuming
, that's quite funny, that's pretty cool
Hmm. So
I do know that you mean, I don't know if you do it your personal time, but with your photography
I know you've kind of had this like video thing where you do like this Bernard's watch
(07:44):
You know, yeah, and you control bonus points for knowing what that is. Yeah
Yeah, if you don't know what Bernard's watch is for those actually you explain
Bernard's watch was a program where like this kid had a watch but you could freeze time with it
And he wasn't used he used it to like help old ladies cross the street if I had that watch
I mean, I'd be an I'd be a villain. Yeah
Oh, you gotta be yeah, I'll be an anti-hero. Okay, like if I walk past the burning building like a freeze time or freeze everyone else
(08:08):
I'll like go in, I would but then I'd go rob a bank after
No, I would yeah, you did this actually as well. I mean it feeds into objectifying stuff. Yeah, so like with platforms like
Only fans. Yeah
When I first had it it was more like
Just pictures and stuff of all range of guys and I found it really hard to
(08:30):
To get the subs in because it's like going to a candy store and you've got like all different like sweets and tastes
Um, so people would like join but because it was like different levels of taste that like not stay for long
and then I basically changed my content to be more about the themes than the person
obviously there's certain people that do better for me than others but um, so you're kink translating solution
(08:54):
so I mean like I don't make that content for my own pleasure
Oh, it's different for me. But like I could inject into it the sort of things I like
So you this bernerds watch thing you'd be like
It looked when I've done stuff like that sexually for fun
But like so you do so be so you tried it off camera first where you're like freeze
You're now my play thing and now it's a pretend to be frozen. I've done stuff like that. I've done role. I love role plays
(09:19):
I'm really good at role playing
Okay, I'm actually more confident when I'm not me
So when I'm like dressed up as like, you know, spider-man or someone like that like it's an alter ego
Yeah, I'm like I because as as but as just as me I'm more I guess insecure about things
But when I'm dressed up as a character, it's more like be more confident
That's the whole escapism is put on a persona and it's like it's dutch courage
(09:42):
in a role, isn't it which is why like if someone turns up for
Like in a session I've done I prefer to go straight into it because I'm already psyched myself up into that like mode
And then I can just switch back to being me afterwards
Any other wild ones before we go on to other conversations?
Yes, I mean
(10:04):
I mean I've done a lot of like
Location stuff as well. Okay. Yeah, and then the funniest was I knew a truck driver
And like he told me basically what petrol station he was at
And I basically went in and fucked him in his little cabin bit
so there's none of that objectification there, but you just thought about it's just
No, no, it was I mean that's that's like the simplest form of it
(10:27):
Yeah, I think everybody's into it a little bit without realizing because you are
I guess treating someone like a
A fuck toy. So their a walking flashlight. Yeah, and that that is objectification. Yeah. Okay. So that's interesting kink. Got any others?
Um
So, I mean I love roleplaying. I love clothing. I think that kind of it all feeds into the same thing to be honest
(10:50):
I've explored a bit of bondage, but it's not my like biggest thing
Speaking of clothing. Have you tried the fucking knee pad yet?
We had any of the subs to uh put them on I actually haven't
No, what the fuck but they are very comfortable. That's what I recommend
Yeah, so you've had them on yourself
I might have like tried one. Okay, to be fair as soon as I put them on like bear in mind first top
(11:12):
As soon as I put them on for the first time. I let you jump on the floor and I was like, bum me,
And uh, yeah to be fair like they wow that's magic. Yeah, so be like that
Just put in that mode because you don't normally know exactly. Yeah. Yeah
So I had to give him you gotta test them. You gotta test the goods. Yeah. Yeah
But a lot of people have said actually, you need to get your subs in a more because
(11:33):
Yeah, being dominant doesn't mean you're gonna cause them knee pain. No, true
I actually prefer like generic clothing usually because I I mean I love leather and stuff like that
But I actually prefer generic clothing like I often have people more dressed like in gym kit, for example, or whatever
I like that kind of casual side of it
Do you know what we're gonna segue there? So earlier I was talking about
(11:53):
Being old let's do with our grey beards. Hmm. Yeah
Um, you said you mentioned about the gym. Yeah, you recently have like re-found fitness
Yeah, so obviously you've been taking photos of like these
Extremely physically well-built ripped men and you weren't really bothered about the gym. Yeah
(12:14):
No, I've also I've also been one of the people that like I tend to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing
So in my world, that's like the average when I see it every day
So you said I can't be fucked without maybe but in my 20s. I was quite motivated
But I was doing it all wrong
I think the knowledge now because there's the the industry like blew up
And then like there's so much more knowledge with everything now the fitness side of it. so I kind of like joined
(12:40):
My own like fitness at the wrong time really because if I if I knew I was
Know now like when I started then I'd you know would have made loads more progress
So obviously you've you started now. What age how long you've been doing the gym again now?
Well, I started the gym when I was like 18
Yeah, but on and off yeah on and off and then when I got when I moved to the midlands when I was 30
(13:01):
I pretty much stopped the gym completely.
I pretty much went like two months a year like spread out. So you'd have like a little dabble
Like I couldn't get past like the two week period and I just quit. Okay, so
Do you think like I've seen myself like I've watched you over the past what say year and a half
(13:22):
You've been really going out. Yeah, because I had a coach last year. So since august
Yeah, so I've watched that period of time and your physique just massively changed
Hmm. Well, I lost 12 kilograms and then put 12 kilograms by con but like the other way around. Yeah. Yeah, but like do you think
Because some people say I'm getting near my 40s. I don't think that is too late to make a difference
(13:43):
I've seen you've made a difference, but you've said you did have prior experience
But you said you were doing it
Not knowing what you're doing. I actually think like I've seen a lot of amazing
Physiques of guys in their 40s like because I felt a graph like fitness shows as well
Yeah, but they even knew not all their life. But what if there's someone who's just going to the first time
That's what I'm saying. If someone's captain average, do you think it's like
(14:03):
You can make a big difference or do you think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all like mindset and motivation though, isn't it?
I mean, I I know
For me it was the accountability. Yeah
So once I knew I broke past that routine. I basically had a health scale last year
Okay, and that was like a motivation for me to be like, I'm only getting older
Um, so I'd rather like be as healthy as possible. Okay. So it's a massive help that health thing as well not just the look
(14:27):
Yeah, no, it's it's yeah, it's for
It wasn't for anything as pyhsically. It was more like
mindset. That's good mental mental health.
See, I'm the opposite. I'm going more relaxed now
Like I've always been like I need to like stay within a certain body fat range. I said no that because mental pressure
Of just society. Yeah, and then now I'm like getting a bit older. I'm like, I still I still train
(14:52):
But I'm like, I don't care if I get a little bit fatter because I'm just gonna be like I'm just gonna
Yeah, I'm just more relaxed and more confident in myself. I think that comes with age as well
I mean all of it is down to like how you feel
About yourself like you don't do it for anyone else
So but I get the whole pressure thing because I mean, obviously I've worked in the industry
(15:13):
And you also so it's like yeah, I get the pressure especially with social media
As I'm gonna say but not just the industry but society the world
and obviously being a gay man
do you think there's that stigma there and that that
you know what I mean that pressure from that. I mean
I also know like we've got a lot of straight guys as well like men are just as bad
(15:37):
As I say women are like looking at you know
Us ourselves and being like oh, we don't look as like like that or yeah
But I've the thing the difference mostly with men is that they don't tend to talk about their feelings
Personally because I the reason I asked is I think a lot of people feel the pressure saying more so from
Like if in the gay community, I agree with you. I think it's everywhere
(15:59):
But I find the gay community a lot more that people are so you have to look a certain way and you have to be muscly and six-packy but
In the gay community, I see people going yeah embrace like bears and I think they're a bit more
Like people are open-minded to be like I like this type and it's not always
Yeah, we're pretty bad at putting ourselves in boxes. Yeah, let's talk about that
(16:21):
You've actually had a few good conversations about that. Well, I don't really like the whole system of boxes
I mean, I don't even know what I'd put myself in I don't really want to what box you fit in now
I don't want to be in a box. Well, I can't even look it and go you fit
I can't even think about your fit like in the box. Miscellaneous That's miscellaneous, you're like I'm a nerd
So if there's a nerd box, I'll be in that. Yeah, let's make just make one dive straight in there
(16:44):
Is there a nerd box? We have someone in the audience by the way
Yeah, I won't put him in a nerd box. He is a nerd. He's a master. Well, I feel like Dreyfus does like spider-man and stuff
Yeah, if you yeah, then that's a nerd. I mean, I mean everyone's a nerd now, but in that is like
Yeah, you do and you do you said D&D. Oh, yeah, that's that's more in how loads of people doing D&D thing
(17:08):
Fuck yeah, I'm not this but I won't put him in
I like twonk. Twonk?
You know what? I think it's the first time. Yeah, I think that's the first time anyone's ever said that
Yeah, I do get daddy on trying to and stuff now and I'm like do that. I think it
I think everyone just throws daddy at everyone now. Please know. Yeah
(17:31):
Like in the most out of context way and I learned what zaddy means recently as well. Yeah, it's like a sophisticated daddy
But you're not sophisticated. No, you are a little bit. You are okay. You big nerd. No daddy. That's a zaddy
nice. It sounds like we're coming up with a box. But yeah, you don't like boxes, but we're making them
Yeah, but there is a lot of inclusive. I can't even say that word inclusivity. Yeah in like
(17:57):
Yeah, like
People have the you know things they were attracted to and stuff, but I mean even do stuff for
a fuck me and there's all range of different guys, but um, and even on like the group chats and things like everyone's very like
Inclusive of each other. Yeah, I think so. Um, I mean I have seen bits of
like
(18:17):
toxicity and negativity
You know, I've heard stories, but I think as a whole I think most people now are quite quite chilled quite relaxed
Yeah, I mean I've always had the like
Mindset that like if anyone had an issue of anything, it's usually their own problem
I think people like to project their issues
Yeah, so I'm quite good at like actually helping people work out
(18:39):
To be fair, I have had this conversation about you that you're very good at
Seeing both sides of the story. I mean that's that's a leap run in me. Yeah, I'm very hard to argue with because I don't even argue from my
But it comes in really useful like when people like really pissed off like that person's a cunt
And they'll say whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't know what's going on in their life. No, you know that could be because of and which is like
(19:06):
Damn you Alex. You're right. Yeah, I'm actually quite good at separating myself from an argument in a way. It's annoying
It's helpful like it annoys you at the time and just like
But I know he's gonna be right so I take it in because I know I learned very quickly that there's a point behind this
Yeah, I'm also a sort of person if there's a group of people chatting and they're talking about the sky being blue
I walk in and be like it's green and then and then walk off. I like to cause a bit of a debate
(19:30):
Yeah, you do the devil's advocate thing that I was talking about. Yeah. Yeah, and not even if I believe what I just said
But I like just to kind of like throw it in there. Yeah, but the thing is it's like it's gay arms
But you don't try to cause a bad argument where people are angry for valid reasons
You're like, I just want to cause a weird little debate about something that's irrelevant. Yeah
That's my uh, that's my art degree coming in
(19:53):
Yeah, we used to like just criticize what learn to pick things apart basically
Yeah, but you but when I've seen you do it you do do it in a useful way
Um where you're trying to try to you treat you when you use it
Is you actually try to diffuse an argument is what I've seen. Yeah where you've gone like you're all angry
But let's I'm gonna I'm gonna argue with you now
(20:14):
So you argue amongst yourselves to diffuse it so that person's not a victim of even if they're the person they're wrong
You just calm the fuck down. Yeah, and look at it from two sides. Yeah, you have done it a few times. Yeah
It's good. It's good
But anyway
We talked about your age before
Now you were recently how old 38
(20:36):
And I've been to a comedy show with you before and even the comedian was like look
I knew up and down like no, I remember like us three sitting there and he was like, oh, it looks like love island
But 40 years later
That's funny
I remember the compliments. I mean, so have you got like this routine for that you've recently benjamin buttoned
(20:56):
I will not go quietly into the night. I will not yeah, I just I've a very stress free life
Yeah, I don't have kids. I don't have a partner
Okay, um, and I like doing the things I like doing and yeah, I just feel like I just avoid stress
Okay, so you think stress is the main thing. Yeah, I think it stresses people
Yeah, I think someone actually told me there was some scientific research on that. Okay. Okay stress can aid you
(21:23):
So obviously you just had that like stress free life
No kids single. Yeah. Are you dating?
No, I
I mean, I have I have gone on dates. Yeah, so that's dating. I was gonna say I know you're dating if I'm not like
Dating your serial dating. I'm not in a serious dating situation serial datist
(21:44):
Yeah, but you have to be you have to lie. I don't know. So you're saying you're not but then you say you have to be
I know you date I date I date
But I thought you mean like as if I'm dating one person. No. Are you going out on dates? I am trying to
Okay, so if someone wanted to
Woo Alex Weiman. Yeah, like and it was their choice like they had to surprise you with this date
(22:05):
You have no saying it like what what's the best one? What's the best ways to approach you on a date?
I mean like they surprised me with something. Yeah, if you say we're going on a date
Yeah, right. They'll tell you the day off or the day before what's happening, but what's the best date?
I I'll if someone can maybe laugh. I find that really attractive. So I like comedy
Yeah, so if someone took me to like a stand-up comedy gig
(22:28):
By the way, when we went to the comedy gig it was not a date
No
That was me. But yeah, so stand up. Yeah drinks or no drinks
Um, yeah, I mean when I normally try to arrange a date. I normally like just going for a walk and a chat
Yeah, and sometimes yeah, maybe in a pub just to have a drink because I like that kind of more stripped back casual approach
(22:50):
Because I think if you put too much pressure on it like if you get dressed up and
Go for a meal and stuff like that. You're almost not being yourself. Yeah. Yeah
So I'd rather people dress how they want to dress normally
I want to see them for who they are
Yeah, so relax like stroll pop
And also you don't you only want like an hour or two hours and I normally try to like
(23:12):
Put that timestamp on stuff at the beginning because then it's not awkward like
I'm gonna leave now
So like if you if you discuss a time frame beforehand
I was gonna say if but that's more awkward if you do have a timestamp. It's like oh 7 p.m. Bye
Oh, no, I'm gonna turn back into a pumpkin. Yeah, that's that's that's more
um
No, I get that but like I still feel because obviously you can go over that if you're having a great time
(23:34):
But I feel like if you do want to leave you've got that as a backup. Yeah
But but I think when you first meet someone you've got like rose tinted glasses
And you're like, oh, yeah, I really love that person
And then the second time you meet them you actually realize that maybe you don't
gel okay
Do you what what's your thing with sex on the first date?
(23:56):
uh
Like I mean I used to be
I won't do that
But now like I would if it felt right. Yeah, but um, I've also dated people that I have met up as a hookup
And like
Going about it that way. Okay, because we you know gone I have so I've become more
um
Looser with
(24:18):
How I approach it
but
Yeah, as long as both people are consenting and having a good time and
I have
a question
So like I I've never been a data to be honest
I've kind of always moved from relationship to relationship to relationship and if I've not been a relationship
I've just been a bit frisky. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. Um, so when there's a date, I
(24:41):
Top or bottom first that's the question. Uh, well, I
I'd say I'm verse but I prefer top in okay, so you can answer it from both sides
So if you're on a date and like obviously leads under sex is this a lot of people are
a prep
For their bottoming before the yeah, but
Like do they like walk because obviously not everyone walks around with like a big jacket. I'm off. It's the middle of summer
(25:05):
You know, you got no pockets and yeah, like what will they take a douche with them?
Just hide this ball this thing which is why I feel like I feel like if you are planning to have sex
It's usually spoke about and then yeah, because you need to need to need to prepare
But speaking about before and then just gonna assume like yeah sound we're gonna fuck then
But also you don't have to go all the way. Do you you can do other things? Yeah, sure. But yeah, but
But could you imagine that? Oh, sorry. That was a big massive douche in my pocket
(25:30):
Instead of douche in your pocket. You're happy to see me
But no, I feel I feel like yeah, like you need to have time
Yeah, because I think that would massively hinder the the date scenario for some people say oh we're going for food
And obviously some bottoms like I I don't eat till the deed is done
Yeah, but I actually found that if if I'm talking to someone and they want they're interested in dating
(25:50):
Um, I find actually that I am a bit more reserved. So I won't like put out
Okay, until like you gotta work for that. Yeah, but if I'm talking to someone and they just want to have sex and sure
Okay, and if anything comes after that then fine. But like yeah, I feel like I do actually draw out the date and inductions just a bit like
Get back to the place like give me 20 minutes. Are we all know it in like that's fine
(26:12):
We all know what people do. But wow, you came prepared. You knew where this was going, but rather than be
Yeah, I mean I know friends that like they're so paranoid about being clean already all the time
And actually like it can be medically an issue. Yeah, so but yeah, I mean
I would only bottom if I was in a relationship. I'd only bottom for you on your birthday Christmas Easter bomb. It's the Hanukkah
(26:38):
That's very versatile
Yeah, um, all right then any disaster date stories
Yeah, I'm trying to
What's the worst day anyone's ever took you on? Oh my god, I went on date with I'm not gonna see this
I went on a date with um one guy and like we drove like an hour and a half to meet up
(27:01):
Um, and we just did what I suggested and we should just go for a walk
Yeah
But like I never get this but like within like the first 10 seconds of like
Seeing them. I just got this vibe where it was just like
We wasted our time. Yeah, like I don't know what it was. It was mutual
But like I just found it really hard to talk to and I'm really easy to talk to
(27:21):
There was like John Williams the orchestral music playing in the background as well. And I was and it was like you walking it was um
A park in there's no orchestra
Windsor
And it was like a yeah, there was like an event going on and I wish I'd gone to that instead
But like they were playing like film music, which I love
And it was gone and yeah, they were playing like Star Wars and I was like, oh, do you recognize this?
(27:44):
He was like, no, I was like, okay, you know the one
But yeah, it was it was nothing like bad that he did but like it just it was just no vibe within
So it wasn't the actual day. It was just the the vibe was just I've never had that but like yeah
I've been like I've never had one where it's actually the date though
Is that really bad? Yeah, like everything's gone wrong or like horrendous waiter or they were a dick to the waiter or waitress
(28:10):
um, or
If someone fell and broke an ankle, I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, I probably have to know the
I can't I can't pinpoint
But there probably has been
I wish I had bad dates. No, there was one time
Again, it was just nothing they did it was just like
Just didn't get on but I remember like
(28:32):
Texting I think my mom actually saying like oh, can you call me and pretend like it was an emergency so I can get out of this
Yeah, yeah, not bad
And did your mom do it? Yeah, what did she say?
um
She was basically saying I was like a family emergency or something
Yeah, I was I'm really sorry. I gotta go mom to the rescue. Yeah, did you ask you about after your mom?
Like so, how was it? Who was he? No, I don't really ask me about stuff like that
(28:55):
But they know what I've done like I remember when I used to have like a studio room at home
And I actually did a shoot for a rubber company and they sent me loads of rubber stuff
And you have to like use lube on rubber to like make it all shiny
And I remember like using their bathroom to like
Dress the guys in it and like lube them up and then
some point in the week some point the week um
(29:17):
My mom was like she walked in then she she need slipped over and she was like
Alex why is the bathroom so slippery and I was like that's all the lube
Don't worry about it. So yeah, they're kind of yeah, they're kind of used to me. I guess
I had a mannequin that I had at uni as well like a full full grown mannequin
That I brought home when my mom walked into my room and like she jumped
(29:41):
And she was like, oh my god, Alex. What was the tall naked man in your room? And I was like
She should be used to that by now. It might be not alive, but yeah, use him well
I bet that thought ran through her mind. She was like, oh, yeah
So they kind of glad I'm not there anymore
So, all right, so I'm talking about crazy dates. I'll just talk about uh
(30:02):
Good dates bad dates photoshoots
Let's merge those topics. Have you had any bad photoshoots where it's going really weird?
Yeah, I've had like
Because it's well, I can also imagine how it is from the model's point of view as well because
Usually the people like that's coming to seem like coming to shoot with me
Maybe they're not met me before and vice versa. I like turning up at someone's like house or
(30:24):
Or location
So I always like tell models to uh, make sure you let someone know where you go in like from their point of view
Okay, but like even with me as well like I've done shoots. I did this shoot with a guy in London
it was in a hotel room and um
The whole time I was shooting it was like it was really weird and then like towards the end
We did some stuff where I was in the shower and then like I don't know the vibe just changed like
(30:49):
It was
Yeah, I felt unsafe and it was almost like it was almost like he was
wanting something to happen
And then I basically kind of wrapped up the shoot at that point because I was done got all the photos. Thank you. Yeah
No, you're having them still going. Yeah, that's a wrap
And I started like packing it all the way and stuff
But it was just kind of lingering around and almost like in my exit route as well
(31:14):
Oh, okay, so like I just felt like off
Yeah, but I told someone where I was before I was I won't say that's a funny. I'll tell you that's a scary. Yeah
Yeah
Different answer, but yeah
I know fair enough. It's a story. Yeah, but I need to get any funny
I used to be bad. I've seen your shoes. They are quite fun anyway. So I think you just probably think it's all blended into one
(31:38):
Yeah
because I think when we were on the the foot me shoot like
uh, do you remember when
Allid was in that big metal cage
Or it was holding on to it
And he was getting spammed around but you there at that time
That was your photo shoot
Was it? Yeah, you so you weren't taking a photo. No one was but you were about at that time and um
(32:02):
Adam was just spinning this cage round. There's an aerial cage
Um, and I was just holding onto the bar. So his legs are like fully out. They're both big blokes
I can't remember this. Oh, yeah, maybe you like went for a week or something
Or was it was I mean I haven't been photographing somewhere else, but I'm pretty sure I remembered that
That's the type. Yeah, that's the type of thing that was happening in the shoot. Yeah, I mean
(32:26):
Yeah, crazy stuff happens all the time when the teachers left. Yeah, the kids come out to play
I mean if you're gonna have like a load of naked guys
Oh, they weren't naked on that one. I was I was all clothing
Well jocks and stuff if you're gonna have like loads of like
Yeah, horny sex workers. Yeah, I know they weren't all sex workers. I hardly any of them were
They're just horny people
And just grabbing horny people off the street and come model for me. Yeah. Well
(32:50):
If you've got to have a load of horny people in one spot
Stuff's gonna happen. Well, that's what I mean. The thing is I wasn't aiming for just horny people
It was a sex-positive brand and I put the ad out there
I want a model for you. Fuck me. It's amazing
And I was like actually to be fair I didn't say it was called fuck me no one knew
I was just like there's gonna be a brand and then when people kind of seen it like oh my god. I was like, yeah, that's cool
(33:10):
Yeah, and I think the vibe was there because it the name is fuck me. I think they might have got into that
mentality of
You know, I don't know
Can't even think of what to do there
But you know what I mean? They had mostly like that promiscuous
vibe
Like some of them are just fucking about. Yeah, but that's what I wanted. There's a lot of them. Yeah, yeah 15 or I can remember on the
(33:37):
photo shoot
Did you you were there when tom did the spicy challenge?
Didn't you?
So yeah, it's where was I? Yeah, what was I doing? Shit was happening. Um, like we had them. I brought this tequila
And it was the world's hottest tequila. Tequila is awful. No, but this is insane. I cry on tequila
Oh, no, this is insane. This is like normal tequila is bad
(33:58):
Like yeah, but this is like I've done spicy challenges. I've done like that one-chip challenge
The bomb that they do on hot ones
but this tequila
destroys them all
Yeah, so
When I did it, it was literally a face under attack for 10 minutes and there's adam
(34:18):
Who's at the shoes like I'll do it with you, bro. I'm going don't do it
That's what I put it down your face. He's a bad influence. Yeah
Yeah, I'm only did it first and he's just trying to like make me feel supported
Right, and then I just and I'll hear about five the night a couple of minutes later
They're just banging all around the kitchen pots and pans him screaming
And a big loud bang I walk out the toilet and then his clothes are all over the floor
(34:42):
He's stripped naked and he's gone up to the shower turned on like freezing cold. He's rocking back and forth
I don't even remember there being showers. No, but that that's it. This is just me and adam at his
So I brought this stuff
Yeah
For tom to do at the shoot where there's no sinks
And tom was just like
Like you could see like tears in his eyes. He's like, yeah, that's fine
(35:04):
It's good that
I don't know how he did it
Like you just heard how bad that was and yeah, so we thought let's let's do this on a photo shoot with tom
Wow, and then he fell asleep
Well, yeah, tequila will do that
It's just one one. He was like done. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, but like people like to be fair just off the the pringles. There's like these new variant spicy pringles
(35:25):
There's people go. Oh my god. That's well spicy
And then tom's like the world's hottest tequila. Just like yeah, yeah, that's nothing there
Yeah, I quite grew a spice, but tequila just destroys me
Don't get me on that even on holiday. Don't get me on that
Well, not to be fair. Yeah, that's what we're gonna do now. So we're going on holiday, aren't we?
(35:46):
In December December so actually
This might be Aaron. This should be Aaron just before we go. Okay. Um, where are we going?
When? Where? Where? Grand Canaria. Yeah. Yeah, so we're going to Grand Canaria. Yeah, so we're gonna have like a proper
GAY holiday. I've not done a proper like gay holiday. Yeah outside of Pride, but it should still be
(36:07):
Yeah, busy-ish. Yeah, we're going to Yumbo
Yeah, I'm gonna educate you. You're gonna see this place and you're like, this is gay mecca
Yeah, I mean, I've not done this type of holiday. So we're gonna do an episode talking about what's to come
And I think I'll have you back after
After we've been and we'll talk about the the holibobs. What stays what goes on in Grand Canaria stays in Grand Canaria?
(36:31):
Yeah, we'll see
I'm an open book. I think I don't know
We'll see we'll talk about we'll see we'll see I'm gonna talk about it. We'll go into it then. Okay. Yeah. All right
So that was the foot me podcast. This is Alex whiteman
Make sure you tune into episode two
(00:07):
Got a bad hop aint I, that's gonna go in the blooper reel
Well, you're not as old as me are you? I'm getting it. I'm not far behind. Yeah, okay. I got the grey in the beard
Me I do I do
Yeah, I was looking potentially get an eyebrow pencil to colour mine in today, eyebrow pencil
No pencil the brush thing. Ah, I can't be fucked dying it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know me if I dyed it go completely the wrong color
(00:34):
I've done that actually
Well anyway, welcome to the you FKME podcast
Today I actually have a good friend of mine on for the first episode Alex whiteman
Say hello Alex introduce yourself
Yeah, hi, I'm Alex whiteman. Tell them what you do Alex. I'm a photographer. I've been photographer for 15 years
(00:54):
Coming up 15 years 15
Cuz you're old now. That's why you had 15 years experience. Well, yeah, I do know old as we were saying. Yeah, I
Was 24 when I went self employed but it oh fair play. I'm 38 now. So
(01:14):
No, so Alex was one of the photographers on the first official FKME photo shoot that was awesome, wasn't it?
That was pretty cool. Yeah, that was this year wasn't it? That was this year. Yeah, I do time. This March. Hmm. Yeah
And even you said like it's very rare to go on a photoshoot that big and this was a brand that was brand new
But as Alex knows me, I don't like to do things by halves. Do I, I'm the same. Yeah. Yeah
(01:39):
I'm a guy that's like half fall not half empty. Yeah
But I'll tell them tell them about the photo shoot kind of how it was right on that day
It was good the mansion was it Antwerp mansion? Yeah, yeah, it was a big derelict mansion
Was yeah, I mean I like derelict buildings actually derelict buildings were the first thing that I ever like going to when I was put a profit
(01:59):
Okay, with people just buildings. No people. Yeah, it's gonna say cuz you're known for like these half naked or fully naked men
In front of the camera. Yeah, when I first got into the industry
There was a kind of a gap in shooting location type stuff. So yeah, I was doing a lot of
Urbexing it's called. It's where you take like it's where you actively look out for abandoned buildings
(02:22):
Okay, when you urbex, so an urbexer usually just goes along to these buildings and like photographs of buildings
But I was traipsing along like
Naked men I was gonna say you're like, oh that building's really good for me. Yeah, that's for a naked man in there
Yeah, so
That derelict building
I've got some scary stories around those kind of buildings, but yeah, Antwerp mansion was yeah along that kind of vibe which I liked
(02:46):
Yeah, and there's a lot of you. It's always hard at 15 models
Photographers. Yeah, it's harder when you've got that many people because you want to give each person like
Good amount of time and usually if people haven't modeled before you need a bit of time with them to like
so with that photo shoot there was like a lot of guys who'd never modeled wasn't there
(03:08):
There's some who had some had dabbled done a little bit and I picked everyone based on personality really very diverse
And obviously some of them because they've never had that opportunity
I was like no you're funny and I want that fun and you were really good at bringing that out
You know because some of the guys they've actually said that you just made them feel super comfortable
And there's some guys who like fairly bigger some guys who not as in shape and they were just like
(03:30):
They're really shy at first. Yeah, when I found like even working in fitness that just because someone maybe looked a certain way
It doesn't mean they know how to model like for me a model is someone who can get in front of the camera and you know
What they're doing? Yeah, because models take all shapes and sizes
But I'm also very much aware that people do get in their own head and feel like they don't look good
And all that kind of stuff, but I'm quite good at directing so
(03:54):
Yeah, I try to make people feel as comfortable as possible and also when someone's just stood there and like
You know pants or hardly anything at all. It's actually quite a vulnerable position
So to be able to like make them feel at ease is like really important. Yeah
I mean like looking at the pictures back
Is it like a segment where you add stew and scritch?
(04:14):
Where he's got like a dog collar on him and he's like choking him with it like in the toilet stalls. Yeah, I was like yeah, choke him harder
Yeah, I mean it really played to their kinks because a scritch for those who don't know he's a pup
Yeah, yeah, I mean I learned about stuff a bit more that during that time as well because
I mean, I don't know much about pup stuff
But the scritch was like do you want me as a human or as a puppy and I was like I've never actually been asked that question before
(04:39):
He basically like switched modes and I could understand that because it is about like yeah being a different mode like I know like
With my own kinks and stuff like because I like to Dom, but when I have when I don't I have to be in that mode like how I am now
Isn't me in Dom mode. Well, let's segue over onto that then so we're talking about kinks and stuff
You obviously you're a Dom
(05:02):
Obviously there's more to it than me in Dom and so what kinks do you have my biggest kink is
Objectifications and anything that comes around that and I know objectification takes my form
So objectification and I do have to explain it a lot to people because when I say it's good
They're like what the fuck is that so objectification in the simplest idea is that you're treating someone as an object and
(05:24):
You could literally just be all gimped out in a rubbery outfit face gone like a identity gone
But that's the easiest way of explaining it and that's not actually the level I like
I actually like being able to see everybody see the person okay, but it's about making that person almost
You're taking away their identity and they're no longer seen as a person and they're just an object that you are my play thing
(05:45):
Yeah, but I also stress that it is only in that moment like I don't want to treat you as that
Like you are a person want to make that clear, so it's like you have this switch and like you've come through the door
Hi Dave nice to meet you. Would you like a cup of tea right now?
On your knees. Yeah, I actually find it easier to go the other way around
So whenever when I've done those sessions
(06:06):
I like to go straight into it and I'm likely to ask how your days go in and the weather's nice afterwards
Okay, I can't be like that. Let's start. that's after care. Isn't it? Yeah. I'll like a hug afterwards. Yes. I I've just objectified you for a while
please cuddle me.
you don't want them to feel super vulnerable now. They've done that they've let go and you're like, so
What's the wildest thing or some of the wildest things funniest things you've done while objectifying someone funniest things?
(06:35):
I can pick up an example
I went around this guy's house and like literally he gave up all control like and I left him pretty much like
Just bound because he wanted to feel like left there like just to be found just just who's gonna find him
I think he it was this is a long time ago, but I think he was like, oh, yeah, no like my flatmate. Yeah
(06:58):
I remember leaving and his cat was in the hallway and
Oh, no one's gonna feed
I looked at the cat and I was like, I'm so sorry. I've done to your owner
I'm not to leave you this cat's like I need food
I felt I felt judged by that cat the cats are very judgy
I mean the cats are knobheads. Yeah, if you're a cat lover, I mean I don't get it
(07:21):
We are talking like 15 years ago, but the fact that stays in my mind
No, I did text I did text him afterwards to make sure it's okay. So it'd be a flatmate. I'm assuming
, that's quite funny, that's pretty cool
Hmm. So
I do know that you mean, I don't know if you do it your personal time, but with your photography
I know you've kind of had this like video thing where you do like this Bernard's watch
(07:44):
You know, yeah, and you control bonus points for knowing what that is. Yeah
Yeah, if you don't know what Bernard's watch is for those actually you explain
Bernard's watch was a program where like this kid had a watch but you could freeze time with it
And he wasn't used he used it to like help old ladies cross the street if I had that watch
I mean, I'd be an I'd be a villain. Yeah
Oh, you gotta be yeah, I'll be an anti-hero. Okay, like if I walk past the burning building like a freeze time or freeze everyone else
(08:08):
I'll like go in, I would but then I'd go rob a bank after
No, I would yeah, you did this actually as well. I mean it feeds into objectifying stuff. Yeah, so like with platforms like
Only fans. Yeah
When I first had it it was more like
Just pictures and stuff of all range of guys and I found it really hard to
(08:30):
To get the subs in because it's like going to a candy store and you've got like all different like sweets and tastes
Um, so people would like join but because it was like different levels of taste that like not stay for long
and then I basically changed my content to be more about the themes than the person
obviously there's certain people that do better for me than others but um, so you're kink translating solution
(08:54):
so I mean like I don't make that content for my own pleasure
Oh, it's different for me. But like I could inject into it the sort of things I like
So you this bernerds watch thing you'd be like
It looked when I've done stuff like that sexually for fun
But like so you do so be so you tried it off camera first where you're like freeze
You're now my play thing and now it's a pretend to be frozen. I've done stuff like that. I've done role. I love role plays
(09:19):
I'm really good at role playing
Okay, I'm actually more confident when I'm not me
So when I'm like dressed up as like, you know, spider-man or someone like that like it's an alter ego
Yeah, I'm like I because as as but as just as me I'm more I guess insecure about things
But when I'm dressed up as a character, it's more like be more confident
That's the whole escapism is put on a persona and it's like it's dutch courage
(09:42):
in a role, isn't it which is why like if someone turns up for
Like in a session I've done I prefer to go straight into it because I'm already psyched myself up into that like mode
And then I can just switch back to being me afterwards
Any other wild ones before we go on to other conversations?
Yes, I mean
(10:04):
I mean I've done a lot of like
Location stuff as well. Okay. Yeah, and then the funniest was I knew a truck driver
And like he told me basically what petrol station he was at
And I basically went in and fucked him in his little cabin bit
so there's none of that objectification there, but you just thought about it's just
No, no, it was I mean that's that's like the simplest form of it
(10:27):
Yeah, I think everybody's into it a little bit without realizing because you are
I guess treating someone like a
A fuck toy. So their a walking flashlight. Yeah, and that that is objectification. Yeah. Okay. So that's interesting kink. Got any others?
Um
So, I mean I love roleplaying. I love clothing. I think that kind of it all feeds into the same thing to be honest
(10:50):
I've explored a bit of bondage, but it's not my like biggest thing
Speaking of clothing. Have you tried the fucking knee pad yet?
We had any of the subs to uh put them on I actually haven't
No, what the fuck but they are very comfortable. That's what I recommend
Yeah, so you've had them on yourself
I might have like tried one. Okay, to be fair as soon as I put them on like bear in mind first top
(11:12):
As soon as I put them on for the first time. I let you jump on the floor and I was like, bum me,
And uh, yeah to be fair like they wow that's magic. Yeah, so be like that
Just put in that mode because you don't normally know exactly. Yeah. Yeah
So I had to give him you gotta test them. You gotta test the goods. Yeah. Yeah
But a lot of people have said actually, you need to get your subs in a more because
(11:33):
Yeah, being dominant doesn't mean you're gonna cause them knee pain. No, true
I actually prefer like generic clothing usually because I I mean I love leather and stuff like that
But I actually prefer generic clothing like I often have people more dressed like in gym kit, for example, or whatever
I like that kind of casual side of it
Do you know what we're gonna segue there? So earlier I was talking about
(11:53):
Being old let's do with our grey beards. Hmm. Yeah
Um, you said you mentioned about the gym. Yeah, you recently have like re-found fitness
Yeah, so obviously you've been taking photos of like these
Extremely physically well-built ripped men and you weren't really bothered about the gym. Yeah
(12:14):
No, I've also I've also been one of the people that like I tend to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing
So in my world, that's like the average when I see it every day
So you said I can't be fucked without maybe but in my 20s. I was quite motivated
But I was doing it all wrong
I think the knowledge now because there's the the industry like blew up
And then like there's so much more knowledge with everything now the fitness side of it. so I kind of like joined
(12:40):
My own like fitness at the wrong time really because if I if I knew I was
Know now like when I started then I'd you know would have made loads more progress
So obviously you've you started now. What age how long you've been doing the gym again now?
Well, I started the gym when I was like 18
Yeah, but on and off yeah on and off and then when I got when I moved to the midlands when I was 30
(13:01):
I pretty much stopped the gym completely.
I pretty much went like two months a year like spread out. So you'd have like a little dabble
Like I couldn't get past like the two week period and I just quit. Okay, so
Do you think like I've seen myself like I've watched you over the past what say year and a half
(13:22):
You've been really going out. Yeah, because I had a coach last year. So since august
Yeah, so I've watched that period of time and your physique just massively changed
Hmm. Well, I lost 12 kilograms and then put 12 kilograms by con but like the other way around. Yeah. Yeah, but like do you think
Because some people say I'm getting near my 40s. I don't think that is too late to make a difference
(13:43):
I've seen you've made a difference, but you've said you did have prior experience
But you said you were doing it
Not knowing what you're doing. I actually think like I've seen a lot of amazing
Physiques of guys in their 40s like because I felt a graph like fitness shows as well
Yeah, but they even knew not all their life. But what if there's someone who's just going to the first time
That's what I'm saying. If someone's captain average, do you think it's like
(14:03):
You can make a big difference or do you think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all like mindset and motivation though, isn't it?
I mean, I I know
For me it was the accountability. Yeah
So once I knew I broke past that routine. I basically had a health scale last year
Okay, and that was like a motivation for me to be like, I'm only getting older
Um, so I'd rather like be as healthy as possible. Okay. So it's a massive help that health thing as well not just the look
(14:27):
Yeah, no, it's it's yeah, it's for
It wasn't for anything as pyhsically. It was more like
mindset. That's good mental mental health.
See, I'm the opposite. I'm going more relaxed now
Like I've always been like I need to like stay within a certain body fat range. I said no that because mental pressure
Of just society. Yeah, and then now I'm like getting a bit older. I'm like, I still I still train
(14:52):
But I'm like, I don't care if I get a little bit fatter because I'm just gonna be like I'm just gonna
Yeah, I'm just more relaxed and more confident in myself. I think that comes with age as well
I mean all of it is down to like how you feel
About yourself like you don't do it for anyone else
So but I get the whole pressure thing because I mean, obviously I've worked in the industry
(15:13):
And you also so it's like yeah, I get the pressure especially with social media
As I'm gonna say but not just the industry but society the world
and obviously being a gay man
do you think there's that stigma there and that that
you know what I mean that pressure from that. I mean
I also know like we've got a lot of straight guys as well like men are just as bad
(15:37):
As I say women are like looking at you know
Us ourselves and being like oh, we don't look as like like that or yeah
But I've the thing the difference mostly with men is that they don't tend to talk about their feelings
Personally because I the reason I asked is I think a lot of people feel the pressure saying more so from
Like if in the gay community, I agree with you. I think it's everywhere
(15:59):
But I find the gay community a lot more that people are so you have to look a certain way and you have to be muscly and six-packy but
In the gay community, I see people going yeah embrace like bears and I think they're a bit more
Like people are open-minded to be like I like this type and it's not always
Yeah, we're pretty bad at putting ourselves in boxes. Yeah, let's talk about that
(16:21):
You've actually had a few good conversations about that. Well, I don't really like the whole system of boxes
I mean, I don't even know what I'd put myself in I don't really want to what box you fit in now
I don't want to be in a box. Well, I can't even look it and go you fit
I can't even think about your fit like in the box. Miscellaneous That's miscellaneous, you're like I'm a nerd
So if there's a nerd box, I'll be in that. Yeah, let's make just make one dive straight in there
(16:44):
Is there a nerd box? We have someone in the audience by the way
Yeah, I won't put him in a nerd box. He is a nerd. He's a master. Well, I feel like Dreyfus does like spider-man and stuff
Yeah, if you yeah, then that's a nerd. I mean, I mean everyone's a nerd now, but in that is like
Yeah, you do and you do you said D&D. Oh, yeah, that's that's more in how loads of people doing D&D thing
(17:08):
Fuck yeah, I'm not this but I won't put him in
I like twonk. Twonk?
You know what? I think it's the first time. Yeah, I think that's the first time anyone's ever said that
Yeah, I do get daddy on trying to and stuff now and I'm like do that. I think it
I think everyone just throws daddy at everyone now. Please know. Yeah
(17:31):
Like in the most out of context way and I learned what zaddy means recently as well. Yeah, it's like a sophisticated daddy
But you're not sophisticated. No, you are a little bit. You are okay. You big nerd. No daddy. That's a zaddy
nice. It sounds like we're coming up with a box. But yeah, you don't like boxes, but we're making them
Yeah, but there is a lot of inclusive. I can't even say that word inclusivity. Yeah in like
(17:57):
Yeah, like
People have the you know things they were attracted to and stuff, but I mean even do stuff for
a fuck me and there's all range of different guys, but um, and even on like the group chats and things like everyone's very like
Inclusive of each other. Yeah, I think so. Um, I mean I have seen bits of
like
(18:17):
toxicity and negativity
You know, I've heard stories, but I think as a whole I think most people now are quite quite chilled quite relaxed
Yeah, I mean I've always had the like
Mindset that like if anyone had an issue of anything, it's usually their own problem
I think people like to project their issues
Yeah, so I'm quite good at like actually helping people work out
(18:39):
To be fair, I have had this conversation about you that you're very good at
Seeing both sides of the story. I mean that's that's a leap run in me. Yeah, I'm very hard to argue with because I don't even argue from my
But it comes in really useful like when people like really pissed off like that person's a cunt
And they'll say whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't know what's going on in their life. No, you know that could be because of and which is like
(19:06):
Damn you Alex. You're right. Yeah, I'm actually quite good at separating myself from an argument in a way. It's annoying
It's helpful like it annoys you at the time and just like
But I know he's gonna be right so I take it in because I know I learned very quickly that there's a point behind this
Yeah, I'm also a sort of person if there's a group of people chatting and they're talking about the sky being blue
I walk in and be like it's green and then and then walk off. I like to cause a bit of a debate
(19:30):
Yeah, you do the devil's advocate thing that I was talking about. Yeah. Yeah, and not even if I believe what I just said
But I like just to kind of like throw it in there. Yeah, but the thing is it's like it's gay arms
But you don't try to cause a bad argument where people are angry for valid reasons
You're like, I just want to cause a weird little debate about something that's irrelevant. Yeah
That's my uh, that's my art degree coming in
(19:53):
Yeah, we used to like just criticize what learn to pick things apart basically
Yeah, but you but when I've seen you do it you do do it in a useful way
Um where you're trying to try to you treat you when you use it
Is you actually try to diffuse an argument is what I've seen. Yeah where you've gone like you're all angry
But let's I'm gonna I'm gonna argue with you now
(20:14):
So you argue amongst yourselves to diffuse it so that person's not a victim of even if they're the person they're wrong
You just calm the fuck down. Yeah, and look at it from two sides. Yeah, you have done it a few times. Yeah
It's good. It's good
But anyway
We talked about your age before
Now you were recently how old 38
(20:36):
And I've been to a comedy show with you before and even the comedian was like look
I knew up and down like no, I remember like us three sitting there and he was like, oh, it looks like love island
But 40 years later
That's funny
I remember the compliments. I mean, so have you got like this routine for that you've recently benjamin buttoned
(20:56):
I will not go quietly into the night. I will not yeah, I just I've a very stress free life
Yeah, I don't have kids. I don't have a partner
Okay, um, and I like doing the things I like doing and yeah, I just feel like I just avoid stress
Okay, so you think stress is the main thing. Yeah, I think it stresses people
Yeah, I think someone actually told me there was some scientific research on that. Okay. Okay stress can aid you
(21:23):
So obviously you just had that like stress free life
No kids single. Yeah. Are you dating?
No, I
I mean, I have I have gone on dates. Yeah, so that's dating. I was gonna say I know you're dating if I'm not like
Dating your serial dating. I'm not in a serious dating situation serial datist
(21:44):
Yeah, but you have to be you have to lie. I don't know. So you're saying you're not but then you say you have to be
I know you date I date I date
But I thought you mean like as if I'm dating one person. No. Are you going out on dates? I am trying to
Okay, so if someone wanted to
Woo Alex Weiman. Yeah, like and it was their choice like they had to surprise you with this date
(22:05):
You have no saying it like what what's the best one? What's the best ways to approach you on a date?
I mean like they surprised me with something. Yeah, if you say we're going on a date
Yeah, right. They'll tell you the day off or the day before what's happening, but what's the best date?
I I'll if someone can maybe laugh. I find that really attractive. So I like comedy
Yeah, so if someone took me to like a stand-up comedy gig
(22:28):
By the way, when we went to the comedy gig it was not a date
No
That was me. But yeah, so stand up. Yeah drinks or no drinks
Um, yeah, I mean when I normally try to arrange a date. I normally like just going for a walk and a chat
Yeah, and sometimes yeah, maybe in a pub just to have a drink because I like that kind of more stripped back casual approach
(22:50):
Because I think if you put too much pressure on it like if you get dressed up and
Go for a meal and stuff like that. You're almost not being yourself. Yeah. Yeah
So I'd rather people dress how they want to dress normally
I want to see them for who they are
Yeah, so relax like stroll pop
And also you don't you only want like an hour or two hours and I normally try to like
(23:12):
Put that timestamp on stuff at the beginning because then it's not awkward like
I'm gonna leave now
So like if you if you discuss a time frame beforehand
I was gonna say if but that's more awkward if you do have a timestamp. It's like oh 7 p.m. Bye
Oh, no, I'm gonna turn back into a pumpkin. Yeah, that's that's that's more
um
No, I get that but like I still feel because obviously you can go over that if you're having a great time
(23:34):
But I feel like if you do want to leave you've got that as a backup. Yeah
But but I think when you first meet someone you've got like rose tinted glasses
And you're like, oh, yeah, I really love that person
And then the second time you meet them you actually realize that maybe you don't
gel okay
Do you what what's your thing with sex on the first date?
(23:56):
uh
Like I mean I used to be
I won't do that
But now like I would if it felt right. Yeah, but um, I've also dated people that I have met up as a hookup
And like
Going about it that way. Okay, because we you know gone I have so I've become more
um
Looser with
(24:18):
How I approach it
but
Yeah, as long as both people are consenting and having a good time and
I have
a question
So like I I've never been a data to be honest
I've kind of always moved from relationship to relationship to relationship and if I've not been a relationship
I've just been a bit frisky. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. Um, so when there's a date, I
(24:41):
Top or bottom first that's the question. Uh, well, I
I'd say I'm verse but I prefer top in okay, so you can answer it from both sides
So if you're on a date and like obviously leads under sex is this a lot of people are
a prep
For their bottoming before the yeah, but
Like do they like walk because obviously not everyone walks around with like a big jacket. I'm off. It's the middle of summer
(25:05):
You know, you got no pockets and yeah, like what will they take a douche with them?
Just hide this ball this thing which is why I feel like I feel like if you are planning to have sex
It's usually spoke about and then yeah, because you need to need to need to prepare
But speaking about before and then just gonna assume like yeah sound we're gonna fuck then
But also you don't have to go all the way. Do you you can do other things? Yeah, sure. But yeah, but
But could you imagine that? Oh, sorry. That was a big massive douche in my pocket
(25:30):
Instead of douche in your pocket. You're happy to see me
But no, I feel I feel like yeah, like you need to have time
Yeah, because I think that would massively hinder the the date scenario for some people say oh we're going for food
And obviously some bottoms like I I don't eat till the deed is done
Yeah, but I actually found that if if I'm talking to someone and they want they're interested in dating
(25:50):
Um, I find actually that I am a bit more reserved. So I won't like put out
Okay, until like you gotta work for that. Yeah, but if I'm talking to someone and they just want to have sex and sure
Okay, and if anything comes after that then fine. But like yeah, I feel like I do actually draw out the date and inductions just a bit like
Get back to the place like give me 20 minutes. Are we all know it in like that's fine
(26:12):
We all know what people do. But wow, you came prepared. You knew where this was going, but rather than be
Yeah, I mean I know friends that like they're so paranoid about being clean already all the time
And actually like it can be medically an issue. Yeah, so but yeah, I mean
I would only bottom if I was in a relationship. I'd only bottom for you on your birthday Christmas Easter bomb. It's the Hanukkah
(26:38):
That's very versatile
Yeah, um, all right then any disaster date stories
Yeah, I'm trying to
What's the worst day anyone's ever took you on? Oh my god, I went on date with I'm not gonna see this
I went on a date with um one guy and like we drove like an hour and a half to meet up
(27:01):
Um, and we just did what I suggested and we should just go for a walk
Yeah
But like I never get this but like within like the first 10 seconds of like
Seeing them. I just got this vibe where it was just like
We wasted our time. Yeah, like I don't know what it was. It was mutual
But like I just found it really hard to talk to and I'm really easy to talk to
(27:21):
There was like John Williams the orchestral music playing in the background as well. And I was and it was like you walking it was um
A park in there's no orchestra
Windsor
And it was like a yeah, there was like an event going on and I wish I'd gone to that instead
But like they were playing like film music, which I love
And it was gone and yeah, they were playing like Star Wars and I was like, oh, do you recognize this?
(27:44):
He was like, no, I was like, okay, you know the one
But yeah, it was it was nothing like bad that he did but like it just it was just no vibe within
So it wasn't the actual day. It was just the the vibe was just I've never had that but like yeah
I've been like I've never had one where it's actually the date though
Is that really bad? Yeah, like everything's gone wrong or like horrendous waiter or they were a dick to the waiter or waitress
(28:10):
um, or
If someone fell and broke an ankle, I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, I probably have to know the
I can't I can't pinpoint
But there probably has been
I wish I had bad dates. No, there was one time
Again, it was just nothing they did it was just like
Just didn't get on but I remember like
(28:32):
Texting I think my mom actually saying like oh, can you call me and pretend like it was an emergency so I can get out of this
Yeah, yeah, not bad
And did your mom do it? Yeah, what did she say?
um
She was basically saying I was like a family emergency or something
Yeah, I was I'm really sorry. I gotta go mom to the rescue. Yeah, did you ask you about after your mom?
Like so, how was it? Who was he? No, I don't really ask me about stuff like that
(28:55):
But they know what I've done like I remember when I used to have like a studio room at home
And I actually did a shoot for a rubber company and they sent me loads of rubber stuff
And you have to like use lube on rubber to like make it all shiny
And I remember like using their bathroom to like
Dress the guys in it and like lube them up and then
some point in the week some point the week um
(29:17):
My mom was like she walked in then she she need slipped over and she was like
Alex why is the bathroom so slippery and I was like that's all the lube
Don't worry about it. So yeah, they're kind of yeah, they're kind of used to me. I guess
I had a mannequin that I had at uni as well like a full full grown mannequin
That I brought home when my mom walked into my room and like she jumped
(29:41):
And she was like, oh my god, Alex. What was the tall naked man in your room? And I was like
She should be used to that by now. It might be not alive, but yeah, use him well
I bet that thought ran through her mind. She was like, oh, yeah
So they kind of glad I'm not there anymore
So, all right, so I'm talking about crazy dates. I'll just talk about uh
(30:02):
Good dates bad dates photoshoots
Let's merge those topics. Have you had any bad photoshoots where it's going really weird?
Yeah, I've had like
Because it's well, I can also imagine how it is from the model's point of view as well because
Usually the people like that's coming to seem like coming to shoot with me
Maybe they're not met me before and vice versa. I like turning up at someone's like house or
(30:24):
Or location
So I always like tell models to uh, make sure you let someone know where you go in like from their point of view
Okay, but like even with me as well like I've done shoots. I did this shoot with a guy in London
it was in a hotel room and um
The whole time I was shooting it was like it was really weird and then like towards the end
We did some stuff where I was in the shower and then like I don't know the vibe just changed like
(30:49):
It was
Yeah, I felt unsafe and it was almost like it was almost like he was
wanting something to happen
And then I basically kind of wrapped up the shoot at that point because I was done got all the photos. Thank you. Yeah
No, you're having them still going. Yeah, that's a wrap
And I started like packing it all the way and stuff
But it was just kind of lingering around and almost like in my exit route as well
(31:14):
Oh, okay, so like I just felt like off
Yeah, but I told someone where I was before I was I won't say that's a funny. I'll tell you that's a scary. Yeah
Yeah
Different answer, but yeah
I know fair enough. It's a story. Yeah, but I need to get any funny
I used to be bad. I've seen your shoes. They are quite fun anyway. So I think you just probably think it's all blended into one
(31:38):
Yeah
because I think when we were on the the foot me shoot like
uh, do you remember when
Allid was in that big metal cage
Or it was holding on to it
And he was getting spammed around but you there at that time
That was your photo shoot
Was it? Yeah, you so you weren't taking a photo. No one was but you were about at that time and um
(32:02):
Adam was just spinning this cage round. There's an aerial cage
Um, and I was just holding onto the bar. So his legs are like fully out. They're both big blokes
I can't remember this. Oh, yeah, maybe you like went for a week or something
Or was it was I mean I haven't been photographing somewhere else, but I'm pretty sure I remembered that
That's the type. Yeah, that's the type of thing that was happening in the shoot. Yeah, I mean
(32:26):
Yeah, crazy stuff happens all the time when the teachers left. Yeah, the kids come out to play
I mean if you're gonna have like a load of naked guys
Oh, they weren't naked on that one. I was I was all clothing
Well jocks and stuff if you're gonna have like loads of like
Yeah, horny sex workers. Yeah, I know they weren't all sex workers. I hardly any of them were
They're just horny people
And just grabbing horny people off the street and come model for me. Yeah. Well
(32:50):
If you've got to have a load of horny people in one spot
Stuff's gonna happen. Well, that's what I mean. The thing is I wasn't aiming for just horny people
It was a sex-positive brand and I put the ad out there
I want a model for you. Fuck me. It's amazing
And I was like actually to be fair I didn't say it was called fuck me no one knew
I was just like there's gonna be a brand and then when people kind of seen it like oh my god. I was like, yeah, that's cool
(33:10):
Yeah, and I think the vibe was there because it the name is fuck me. I think they might have got into that
mentality of
You know, I don't know
Can't even think of what to do there
But you know what I mean? They had mostly like that promiscuous
vibe
Like some of them are just fucking about. Yeah, but that's what I wanted. There's a lot of them. Yeah, yeah 15 or I can remember on the
(33:37):
photo shoot
Did you you were there when tom did the spicy challenge?
Didn't you?
So yeah, it's where was I? Yeah, what was I doing? Shit was happening. Um, like we had them. I brought this tequila
And it was the world's hottest tequila. Tequila is awful. No, but this is insane. I cry on tequila
Oh, no, this is insane. This is like normal tequila is bad
(33:58):
Like yeah, but this is like I've done spicy challenges. I've done like that one-chip challenge
The bomb that they do on hot ones
but this tequila
destroys them all
Yeah, so
When I did it, it was literally a face under attack for 10 minutes and there's adam
(34:18):
Who's at the shoes like I'll do it with you, bro. I'm going don't do it
That's what I put it down your face. He's a bad influence. Yeah
Yeah, I'm only did it first and he's just trying to like make me feel supported
Right, and then I just and I'll hear about five the night a couple of minutes later
They're just banging all around the kitchen pots and pans him screaming
And a big loud bang I walk out the toilet and then his clothes are all over the floor
(34:42):
He's stripped naked and he's gone up to the shower turned on like freezing cold. He's rocking back and forth
I don't even remember there being showers. No, but that that's it. This is just me and adam at his
So I brought this stuff
Yeah
For tom to do at the shoot where there's no sinks
And tom was just like
Like you could see like tears in his eyes. He's like, yeah, that's fine
(35:04):
It's good that
I don't know how he did it
Like you just heard how bad that was and yeah, so we thought let's let's do this on a photo shoot with tom
Wow, and then he fell asleep
Well, yeah, tequila will do that
It's just one one. He was like done. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, but like people like to be fair just off the the pringles. There's like these new variant spicy pringles
(35:25):
There's people go. Oh my god. That's well spicy
And then tom's like the world's hottest tequila. Just like yeah, yeah, that's nothing there
Yeah, I quite grew a spice, but tequila just destroys me
Don't get me on that even on holiday. Don't get me on that
Well, not to be fair. Yeah, that's what we're gonna do now. So we're going on holiday, aren't we?
(35:46):
In December December so actually
This might be Aaron. This should be Aaron just before we go. Okay. Um, where are we going?
When? Where? Where? Grand Canaria. Yeah. Yeah, so we're going to Grand Canaria. Yeah, so we're gonna have like a proper
GAY holiday. I've not done a proper like gay holiday. Yeah outside of Pride, but it should still be
(36:07):
Yeah, busy-ish. Yeah, we're going to Yumbo
Yeah, I'm gonna educate you. You're gonna see this place and you're like, this is gay mecca
Yeah, I mean, I've not done this type of holiday. So we're gonna do an episode talking about what's to come
And I think I'll have you back after
After we've been and we'll talk about the the holibobs. What stays what goes on in Grand Canaria stays in Grand Canaria?
(36:31):
Yeah, we'll see
I'm an open book. I think I don't know
We'll see we'll talk about we'll see we'll see I'm gonna talk about it. We'll go into it then. Okay. Yeah. All right
So that was the foot me podcast. This is Alex whiteman
Make sure you tune into episode two
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