The Truth About Motherhood They Don’t Tell You

The journey of motherhood is a divine calling that shapes eternity despite being undervalued by modern society. Through sharing my personal struggle as a first-time mom experiencing undiagnosed postpartum depression, I reveal how motherhood serves as a profound refinement process.

• Motherhood requires laying down our lives daily for our children, reflecting Christ's sacrificial love
• Society often overlooks the eternal significance of nurturing souls within our homes
• The challenging transition to motherhood can feel isolating when we're expected to only express joy
• Changing our perspective to view motherhood as a divine assignment transforms difficult seasons
• Like Nazareth and Galilee, our "little places" at home have profound importance in God's kingdom

Join me for our next episode where we'll discuss creating balance in motherhood while embracing the joy God intends for us on this journey. Hit the like button and subscribe to join the movement!

Need to create more balance as a mom? Visit us at www.joyfullyher.com and take our balanced quiz and create a custom plan just for you!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You have a unique God-given purpose as a wife and
a mother, and your influence isvital to shaping the next
generation.
Yet modern society hasdistorted the true beauty and
power of a woman who serves inthese roles.
From anxiety to depression,being a mother and a wife seems
harder than ever before.
Welcome to the Joyfully Herpodcast.

(00:23):
Hi, I'm Nicole Gabrielle, aChristian therapist, and I've
helped many women like you buildhealthier marriages, heal
emotionally and, most of all,grow closer to our Creator, god.
Here we blend biblicalencouragement, practical wisdom
and mental health insights toempower you to thrive and
cultivate a lifelong well-being.

(00:45):
Subscribe now and join us as weaddress what modern society
overlooks about motherhood andbeyond, so you can live out your
God-given calling as a wife andmother with confidence and joy.
Let's dive in.
Let's dive in.
I'm Nicole, I am a Christiantherapist and a mom of three.

(01:07):
I've helped many women many oftimes in my therapy practice
resolve issues related toanxiety, depression, postpartum
depression.
I know about these things andso welcome to Joyfully Her, your
mom.
This episode is just for you, nomatter what stage that you're
in.
I want to share with you theone lesson that I learned being

(01:28):
a mom of for the past nine yearsand mom of three, and where I
started on my journey and mymotherhood journey Exactly nine
years ago.
I was that first time mom thatI was just speaking about,
overwhelmed and really feltunsupported and isolated.
I remember having my daughterSophia nine years ago.
I was so excited Me and myhusband were so excited being

(01:51):
first time parents.
We just really just wanted tolearn everything that we could
to be the best parents possible.
But when I had Sophia, it was avery challenging time and I
remember we lived in a smallcity of a little town in North
Carolina called Monroe, northCarolina, and it was during a
time where I was away from myfamily, away from a lot of the

(02:14):
support that I would have hadwith having my daughter, and it
was just me and my husband.
He was in pharmacy school andwe really had to do these things
ourselves and really preparefor our daughter.
And so that time I was, like Isaid, I was pregnant with my
daughter and it was time to givebirth and I was literally in
labor for literally three days.
It was the hardest time of mylife.

(02:37):
I remember that so vividly.
I remember even the doctorgiving me a break from the
Pitocin that I was on because Iwas laboring hard.
I didn't even know.
As a first time mom, I'm like,why is this happening?
And I've just pran through thatwhole labor.
And finally my daughter came.
Sophia, beautiful baby girl.

(02:57):
She came and we were just soelated.
Remember taking her home.
She's all swaddled up in herpink and her little bonnet.
It was just so relieved that wegot through the labor.
And now, little did I know it'slike, okay, let's do this.
We're literally raising a tinyhuman being.
And so when I brought Sophiahome, it was exciting but also

(03:20):
exhausting.
I was so overwhelmed, being afirst time mom and, you know,
being alone.
Yes, my mom came for a littlebit, but then she had to go back
home.
I remember one day, specifically, I was sitting on the couch
with Sophia and she was cryingso much.
We were just sitting on thecouch, I was doing everything

(03:41):
that I could for her.
I was swaddling her, I madesure she was chained, she had
her milk, but she was not havingit.
It was such a challenging day.
And so I remember just sittingthere, had some music planned
and I was just like you know,what am I going to do, lord?

(04:02):
What is happening.
She just kept crying and crying.
And I remember years ago notyears ago, but a few months ago
I remember one of the nurseswhen I was taking one of my
caregiving class you know, whenyou first take those classes at
the hospital to learn aboutcaregiving for the baby the
nurse said specifically when youfind that your baby is crying

(04:22):
for really no reason that you,that you really don't know about
, they're clean, they're dry,they're fed.
And when you find that yourbaby is crying uncontrollably,
go ahead and put them in thebassinet, make sure that they're
safe, but put them there togive them and yourself a moment.
And I remember that day sovividly that I had to put Sophia

(04:44):
in her bassinet.
I really had to just take abreak.
I mean, I was crying.
I remember just crying,stepping away and really feeling
like helpless, like I reallydid not know what to do.
There was nobody that I couldcall.
It was very hard for me.
That was one of the mosttransformative times in my

(05:04):
motherhood and I'll share withyou why.
If we look in the word in 1Peter 1.6, it says in all of
this you greatly rejoice throughnow fora little, while you may
have had to suffer grief in allkinds of trials and some people
will say, well, maybe motherhoodis not necessarily a trial per
se, but for some people itreally is.

(05:27):
There are some people thatreally go through difficult
times with that transition andit's sometimes hard to really
express that as a first time momor even just a mom in general,
because society or even withinyour community, it's expected
that you have this great joybeing a mom.
There's really, you know not ifthere is challenges you should

(05:50):
still be happy and glad about,you know, being a mother,
because it's supposed to be ajoyful time for you in your life
.
But what happens when it's not?
And for me in that moment itreally wasn't as enjoyable for
many months.
I actually discovered and we'lltalk a little bit more about
this over our time together inanother podcast but I discovered

(06:12):
later that I had undiagnosedpostpartum depression and so
that made it even morechallenging for me.
But I had no idea at the time,I didn't have the tools that I
have now to even recognize that.
And so I say motherhood being arefining period, and this also
kind of leads us into thescripture.
The scripture in John 15, whereit talks about greater love has

(06:35):
no one than this than to laydown your life for one's friend,
and really putting that intothe context of motherhood is
that we, as mothers, are layingdown our lives every single day
for our children.
Hey, my friend loving theconversation so far.
If, joyfully, her has blessedyour heart, tap subscribe so you

(06:57):
never miss an episode andremember motherhood is so much
more sweeter together.
So take a second and share thispodcast with a friend who needs
encouragement too.
Let's spread faith, joy andreal talk about mom life and
wife life, one episode at a time.
And, to be honest, that is anadjustment.

(07:18):
That's something that we don'tkind of talk about.
It is something that our fleshgoes through that we really
don't acknowledge thatadjustment and that, to be
perfectly honest, your fleshsometimes doesn't want to lay
down your life.
You want to do what you want todo, right.
Sometimes I'm a mom, I want toscroll on Instagram, I want to
sleep whenever I want to sleep,but a lot of times that just

(07:41):
does not happen because I haveanother human being that I need
to take care of, and so I thinkthat is the one lesson that I
learned, and even the moms thatI work with in therapy practice
is that they really talk aboutsome of the refinement, the
growth that they've come to overthe years as being a mom, and

(08:02):
how difficult and challenging itis.
And so I think that's one thing, that, for first time moms and
even if you're a seasoned mom Ithink that is okay to
acknowledge these things.
I think that is okay toacknowledge these things.
I think the more we canacknowledge this, the more we
can really gain perspectiveabout what is really happening
when we first become mothers orwhen we're.

(08:23):
You know, even if you're not amom, you're, you're sowing into
other people.
When you become a wife, there'sa certain point of sacrifice
that you make for your husband,and we'll talk about that in the
future as well.
And so that was one of thelessons that I felt like, wow,
okay, god, I don't know if I wasready for this, but God was
really telling me you are readyfor this.

(08:44):
I have called you to thisassignment because we have to
realize that motherhood is anassignment, it's a calling, and
that it is something that Godhas given us.
The Bible talks about thatchildren are a heritage from the
Lord.
It's a good thing.
You know children and raisingand rearing children, but in our
society sometimes it's just notas valued.

(09:05):
And this is what, joyfully Heris about.
It's really for us as women tobe celebrated and to celebrate
our roles as wives and mothersand the impact that we have for
the kingdom.
I mean, you know, if we canimagine the souls that we're
leading, not only on the outsideof our walls of our homes, but

(09:26):
inside our homes, and thenurturing that we're doing and
the souls that we're winning forChrist, I mean, this is
something that is lasting, ofeternal value, and so that is
one of the things that I want toencourage you as a mother.
There is a poem that I cameacross and I want to share this
poem because it really resonatedwith me in my season, even now

(09:49):
as a mother.
And let's read this poem byMead McGuire.
And the poem says Father, whereshould I work today?
And my love flowed, warm andfree.
Then he pointed out a tiny spotfor me and said Huh, go, tend
that spot for me.
I answered quickly oh, no, notthat, not that, why.

(10:10):
No one would ever see, nomatter how well my work was done
, not that little place for me.
And the word he spoke it wasnot stern, he answered me
tenderly Ah, little one, searchthat heart of thine.
Art thou working for them orfor me?

(10:31):
Nazareth was a little place, andso was Galilee.
I say that poem to saysometimes in our society, being
a mother, and especially a womanof faith, and raising your
children is not seen as great,or this big career with this big
salary and all of the thingsand the prestige that may come

(10:53):
with that.
But God has called us to thelittle place in our home,
including what he called Christto.
And we know, as it says in thatpoem, nazareth.
Nazareth was a little place andso was Galilee, where our Lord
came from, and so he can use,god can use the little places

(11:14):
and in fact he wants to usethose places for his glory.
It's just that we have to beopen to that.
And so if you are a mom, I wantyou to think about this question
how can you change your view ofmotherhood?
Because that's something that Ihad to do nine years ago as a
first time mom.
I had to start changing myperspective of what I was going

(11:36):
through and the challenges thatcame with raising my daughter
and now my three kids.
Do you see it as a divineassignment from the Lord, or is
it just some more mundane taskthat you have to do sweeping the
floor, like I mentioned earlier, cleaning the dishes, all the
things that come with takingcare of a family?
Is there value, eternal valuethere, and how can you remember

(12:02):
the eternal value that Godhimself has called you to, to be
the mother that he called youto?
This is something that I thinkabout often now, and so maybe
you're a new mom, maybe you're aseasoned mom, ready to create
more balance, and maybe you dostill have those overwhelmed
seasons, as I do myself.

(12:23):
How can you create more balance?
So that is the next thing thatI want to share with you.
I want you to listen to ournext podcast, where I am talking
about balance and what thatmeans for moms in this time of
their life.
Hit the like button and alsosubscribe to join the movement
as we continue on this journeyin our motherhood, even as wives

(12:45):
, and we embrace the joy thatGod has for us on this journey.