The Importance Of Intimacy

What if intimacy was never meant to start with your body, but with your spirit? In this transformative episode, we dive deep into the true nature of intimacy beyond physical connection, exploring how authentic relationships begin with vulnerability before God first.

When Adam and Eve stood "naked and unashamed," they modeled perfect intimacy – not just physical nakedness, but complete spiritual transparency. This blueprint for divine connection shows us that before they could be vulnerable with each other, they were each intimate with God individually, creating a beautiful trinity of connection that modern relationships often miss.

Many of us struggle with intimacy because past wounds from parents, previous relationships, or personal trauma have created barriers to trust. These soul wounds cause us to "bleed" on others, projecting our past hurts onto current relationships. Meanwhile, cultural messages bombard us with counterfeit versions of intimacy focused on physical gratification rather than spiritual alignment.

The enemy's version of intimacy is flesh-first rather than spirit-first, transactional rather than covenantal, and creates soul ties without spiritual alignment. In contrast, God's design begins within, drawing people together because of what lies beneath the layer of skin. This is why two Christians coming together doesn't automatically create a "God-ordained" relationship – true divine connection happens when each person is first intimate with God, surrendering everything to Him.

Whether you're single, dating, or married, this episode will challenge you to examine the foundation of your relationships and discover how vulnerability—withholding nothing—creates the pathway to experience intimacy as God intended. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments, and subscribe to journey with us as we continue exploring faith-centered relationships.

Ready to dive deeper? 🎧 Join us on YouTube for the full video podcast where we explore faith, love, and relationships through a Christian lens. Whether married, single, or seeking spiritual growth, our episodes offer practical advice and profound insights to strengthen your walk with Jesus. Don’t forget to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you never miss a powerful episode. Let’s grow together in faith and purpose!
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Episode Transcript

Walter (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of Stepping in Faith,
where, together, we explore theimportance of having a
relationship with God and howthat relationship with God can
impact the relationship you havewith others.
I'm your host, walter.
I'm joined here alongside mylovely wife.
Shanea.
This is episode 19.
Who prayed last week?

(00:22):
Me or you?

Shanea (00:24):
I was trying to figure it out.
I don't know, I think.

Walter (00:27):
I think you prayed.

Shanea (00:28):
I think I prayed.

Walter (00:30):
I think you prayed, so it's my turn to pray.
I think so.
So we say this every episode.
We're believers.
We like to start these episodesout in prayer, so we will do
the same with this episode, allright, father God, as we come
before you this afternoon, weare so grateful for your love,

(00:51):
your mercy and your grace.
We're grateful for your care,your kindness, your joy, your
peace, and we pray that yourperfect will will continue to be
carried out.
We welcome you in here.
We welcome your presence.
Allow your presence to flowthroughout this home.
Allow your fire, your purifyingfire, to flow even as we record

(01:14):
this episode.
Let it touch the hearts, god,of those that you've called for
it to touch.
Lord Jesus, we welcome you, weacknowledge you, we submit to
you, we surrender to you.
Holy Spirit, we pray that youwill lead and guide our tone.
Speak to us, allow us to speakwhat the Father would have us
say.
Take full control of thisepisode.

(01:37):
Let it change the lives ofthose it has been called to
change.
Let it reach those it's beencalled to reach.
It's in Jesus' name we pray,amen.
Amen.
Why you say amen like that.

Shanea (01:52):
I don't know.

Walter (01:53):
Were you trying to say I was praying alone?

Shanea (01:55):
No.

Walter (01:56):
You said amen.

Shanea (01:58):
No, I didn't mean it like that.
I don't know why I said it likethat.
I just did Okay, Like amen Idon't know, I just did like amen
.

Walter (02:04):
I don't know so what's this week's episode?
Title?

Shanea (02:13):
the importance of intimacy the importance of
intimacy.

Walter (02:22):
I like the way the light looks on you you like the way
the light looks on you.
You like the way I look To.
God be the glory.
So I was actually I think I wasediting last week episode and
that stood out Like we saidsomething about intimacy and it

(02:45):
just it highlighted.
It was like, okay, that's whatyou want me to speak about,
that's what you want us to touchon.
Next is intimacy, theimportance of intimacy, and it
just kind of went from there andyeah, I got the same thing.
Yeah, and we got into it and itjust began to kind of flow.
And last week we was discussingsex, right?

Shanea (03:07):
Yeah, sex outside of God's design.
I think that was the lastepisode.

Walter (03:11):
Yeah, I believe so.
So it just kind of flows.
A lot of times with theepisodes we just pray or we just
ask God what it is that hewants us to discuss.
That's the thing about thispodcast.
We don't really discussnecessarily what we want to.
We discuss what God tells us todiscuss, because it's not our
podcast.

Shanea (03:31):
No, and it's crazy because every episode, kind of
like, flows into the nextepisode.

Walter (03:36):
It's not something that we're trying to do.
It's just what do you want us todiscuss?
Next guy and he gives us thatand we're like all right, cool.
I and he gives us that andwe're like all right, cool,
we're 19 episodes in and Iremember when we started this
I'm like, okay, how are we goingto continue to come up with,
you know, discussion points,especially if we're not creating

(03:56):
them ourselves?
This is a trust factor oftrusting God.
So, intimacy as we get started.
I'm keeping an eye on time it's144, so we're going to try to
be done by 244.
Uh, let's see, make sure myphone is silent, make sure your

(04:19):
phone is silent, babe, sothere's no interruptions.
So one of the things that cameto mind as I was thinking about
this was lust can negativelyimpact our level of intimacy in
our relationships.

Shanea (04:36):
Yes.

Walter (04:37):
That lightning hit just now.

Shanea (04:40):
Oh, it did.

Walter (04:40):
Yeah, it did.
It is a thunderstorm now aswell, but we're going to pray
that it kind of keeps calm untilwe finish recording.
But yeah, lust can negativelyimpact our level and then the
thunder rolls, but they probablycan't hear.

Shanea (04:54):
I don't know, I don't know.

Walter (04:56):
If you can, it's just what it is.

Shanea (04:57):
It is what it is.
It's thunder and lightningoutside.

Walter (05:06):
So it wasn't supposed to start to like two or three
three o'clock, but lust cannegatively impact our level of
intimacy in our relationships.

Shanea (05:09):
That's when the first thing that came to mind
absolutely which is so true yeah, because um like after the last
episode I was thinking abouthow, when we met, um like how,
lust wasn't there, and I didn'tunderstand why there was an
attraction to you, but it wasn'tan attraction that I was used

(05:32):
to, because it wasn't lust, andso I was confused.

Walter (05:38):
Yeah, same, it made no sense.
It was something that wasdeeper within.
That kind of drew me.
I didn't understand it becauseit was something I never
experienced and no one couldexplain it either.
It was like, oh, you justreally care about her and I'm
like, no, that's not it.
But yeah, as we dig into this,we'll be digging into all of
that.
But key scriptures that we'regoing to be discussing this

(06:00):
afternoon tongue-tied Romans, 12and 1, 1 Samuel, 16, or chapter
16, verse 7, genesis, 2, 25,chapter 2, verse 25,.
1 Corinthians, chapter 6, verse17,.
Romans, chapter 1, verse 24through 27,.

(06:21):
John, chapter 10, verse 10.
Proverbs, chapter 5 throughchapter 7.
First Corinthians, chapter 6,verse 15 through 20.
Those are our key scripturestoday.
Okay, so, babe, do you want togo ahead and look in or read

(06:42):
what the general definition ofintimacy is?
And this is based off of theWebster Dictionary.

Shanea (06:47):
Okay, so the definition of intimacy is the state of
being intimate, or closefamiliarity and friendship.

Walter (06:57):
I didn't like that definition.

Shanea (06:59):
Why you didn't like it.

Walter (07:00):
It's superficial, it doesn't dig into the depth of
what intimacy is.

Shanea (07:04):
No, because it uses the word intimate which is crazy.

Walter (07:09):
Webster don't even know what intimacy is no so I was.
I looked at Webster and I wantedto type in also um, to see what
intimacy was.
I'm like, okay, god, what is,what is your definition of
intimacy?
As I was coming up with thesenotes, as we was going through
that process, and what hedropped in my spirit was the act

(07:31):
of revealing all.
It's, an act of openingyourself to someone, withholding
nothing.
And so the song came to mindwith william mcdowelling Nothing
, which I started to listen to.
I wrote here that that's whatcame to mind, and what God

(07:52):
dropped in my spirit at thatmoment in time is, as I begin to
listen to, withholding Nothing,because sometimes we talked
about this before God, he canspeak through different ways.
He gives you songs.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
He gives us songs, different things.
You go and you listen to thesong.
Yeah.

Walter (08:07):
And then more revelation to begin to flow.
So everyone listening to thispodcast, please go listen to
William McDowell WithholdingNothing.

Shanea (08:16):
I'll post it at the end of the video, yeah.

Walter (08:17):
It's a powerful song, and so what was dropped in my
spirit was in order toexperience intimacy with your
spouse, you have to firstexperience intimacy with God,
and so the song with WilliamMcDowell, it really, it is what
it's saying.
William McDowell was singingand saying I'll give you every

(08:39):
part of me.

Shanea (08:40):
I'll give you all of me.

Walter (08:41):
I'll give you all of me.
Withholding nothing,Withholding nothing.
I give you all of me.

Shanea (08:42):
I give you all of me Withholding nothing Withholding
nothing, and that's what I got.
Also, when I asked God whatintimacy was, and he was, just
what came to me was Adam and Evejust being super vulnerable,
you know, naked and ashamed.

Walter (08:57):
Unashamed, unashamed.

Shanea (08:59):
Naked and unashamed.

Walter (09:00):
Excuse me, it really is what it is.
Yet the bible says that theybecame one and the two became.
The two was naked and unashamedbefore god.
But one of the things that godwas dealing with me on earlier
on, like in 2023, was that, inorder for them to have been
naked and unashamed together, itstarted with adam being naked

(09:21):
and unashamed by himself, andEve was created from Adam, so
that means that she also wasnaked and unashamed before God.
So when you think of intimacy,you think of being in the space
where you both are vulnerable tothe things of God.
Like you don't hold.
It goes back to that WilliamMcDowell song you withhold

(09:43):
nothing from God.
I surrender all, you give all ofyou over to him, and so when
you think of it, right?
to expand on intimacy.
Intimacy is the closeness andconnection shared between people
, typically characterized bydeep emotional, physical,
intellectual or spiritual bonds.

(10:05):
It involves vulnerability,trust and openness, allowing
individuals to feel seen,understood and accepted by one
another.
So there's different levels.
There's actually five differentlevels of intimacy.
There's emotional intimacy,which is the sharing of feelings
, thoughts and experience on adeep level intimacy, which is

(10:25):
the sharing of feelings,thoughts and experience on a
deep level.
There's physical intimacy,which includes affection, touch
and sexual closeness.
There's intellectual intimacy,which is connecting through
shared ideas, conversations andinterests.
There's spiritual intimacy,which is sharing beliefs, values
or practices related to meaningand purpose.
And then there's experientialintimacy, which is bonding

(10:50):
through shared activities orexperiences.
Many of us, especially inmarriages, relationships, we
only focus heavily on thatphysical intimacy.
We may dig into experientialintimacy, possibly physical
intimacy.
Right, we may dig into likeexperiential intimacy, possibly
intellectual intimacy.

Shanea (11:09):
But the physical intimacy, like it, blinds you
from all the other aspects ofintimacy.

Walter (11:13):
Yes, because it's something you can see.

Shanea (11:15):
It's something you can feel.

Walter (11:17):
Yeah, exactly.
So moving into intimacy withGod first right.
Mm-hmm.
You want to go ahead and go toRomans 12 and one, and it's when
we're reading everyone.
We're always going through theNLT version.

(11:38):
When I started my journey backin the day, I did a new King
Jane version.
I even did a new internationalversion, but when I started my
journey off in 2022, I startedoff with NLT.
Yeah.

Shanea (11:52):
Some verses sound better .
Are they hit different?

Walter (11:55):
than New King James.
You deal with differenttranslations.
You'll deal with New King James.
You'll deal with NLT.

Shanea (12:00):
You'll get different revelations from different
versions.

Walter (12:03):
Yeah.

Shanea (12:04):
But Romans 12, 1 says and so, dear brothers and
sisters, I plead with you togive your bodies to God because
of all he has done for you.
Let them be a living and holysacrifice, the kind he will find
acceptable.
This is truly the way toworship him.

Walter (12:24):
I believe I have it somewhere in here, but one of
the things that god has droppedin my spirit as I was reading
romans 12 and 1 is by giving allyou have to god, or, a matter
of fact, and we talked aboutthis intimacy is an act of
worship yeah intimacy with godis an act of worship.

Shanea (12:44):
Yeah, because you're surrendering everything, You're
giving your body to him as aholy sacrifice which you owe to
him.

Walter (12:53):
So when we're practicing in intimacy, it's literally us
practicing in worship to theFather, and so I think that's so
important and it really toucheson it so heavily.
And then, even as we dig intothat right, because it starts
there- as you learn to beintimate with God.

(13:21):
When you get into a point ofhaving that relationship with
whoever God has called you to bewith, it's easier for you to be
intimate with that person.
Now both parties have to be atthe space of knowing you know
having a relationship with God,being intimate with God, because
it can become dangerous if youget with someone where you have
an intimate relationship withGod yet they're not intimate
with God, Because this digs intothe fact of having you be in a

(13:43):
space where you are.
One of the things that Goddealt with me on earlier on is
not to trust you, but to trustthe God in you.

Shanea (13:52):
The Holy Spirit.

Walter (13:53):
Exactly so.
If you don't have the HolySpirit leading you, I can get
caught up yeah.
And a lot of people get hurt bythat, because they're trying to
trust someone but they don'thave god in them, and it's only
god that they keep you grounded.
It's only god that they keep megrounded.

Shanea (14:13):
I'm not gonna get off to a subject, though no, it's
because you're following someonewho isn't following or isn't
being led by the holy spirit.
So it's like where is thisperson leading you?
Yeah or how are they affectingyou?

Walter (14:25):
Because we're going to dig into it later on.
But sin produces shame.
Sin leads you, and so you'refollowing someone or you're in a
relationship with someone thatis ashamed, so they hide things,
so it negatively impacts thelevel of intimacy within your
relationship.

Shanea (14:43):
Right, because you're not being vulnerable or open.

Walter (14:46):
Exactly Genesis 2 and 25 .
Let's see, and this says, andwe know this.
It says now, the man and hiswife were both naked, but they
felt no shame.
And so Genesis 2 and 25, ittouches on the importance of
both man and woman being nakedbefore god and being unashamed.

(15:11):
So this is something that godgave you a revelation on right
where that that there is arelationship between the three.
Yeah, you want to read that.

Shanea (15:27):
I think I got a revelation later on, I think.

Walter (15:32):
You got something different.

Shanea (15:35):
No, it's the same, but I think I'll touch on it.

Walter (15:38):
You want to touch on it later?

Shanea (15:48):
being naked and unashamed and how this means
that the relationship betweenthe three of them right or the
two of them where they were bothfully exposed to God, first by
themselves with God, and then toeach other with God.

Walter (16:05):
So it creates almost like a triune.

Shanea (16:09):
Because they each had their own.
They each had their own.
They were each joined with Godfirst in spirit, before they
came to each other.
So it was like a like a magnet,like attraction, right.
So the Holy Spirit wasattracted to the Holy Spirit
within this person and they justkind of came together.

Walter (16:31):
Let me help you out real quick.

Shanea (16:32):
No, I have it down.
It's just further down.
I believe it's in.

Walter (16:38):
Because it was put together so well.
But we're touching that.

Shanea (16:40):
It's in God-ordained relationships.
I think it's in part five.

Walter (16:44):
Okay, so we'll keep going.
So trust and exposure right,and this is so important and we
was just talking about this.
Intimacy requires exposure ofeverything which comes from a
place of trust and totalreliance on God.
You have to be okay with Godseeing everything, and that's
what we were talking aboutbefore.

(17:04):
God has to see it all, as wellas your spouse you have to be
okay with God seeing everything,and that's what we were talking
about before.
God has to see it all as well asyour spouse.
You have to be okay with yourspouse being exposed to every
part of you and that's both goodand bad and having access to
the more inner parts of you, andthat's a very scary thing.
You and that's a very scarything when you think of
relationships is that you haveGod right, who has access to

(17:31):
every part of you.
There's no part of you, so yourinnermost, deepest secrets,
your greatest fears, yourgreatest concerns, the nasty
parts of you that needs tochange.
You have to allow him to haveaccess to every part of that.
This is we go through theprocess of the wilderness

(17:51):
experience and being transformed.
One of the challenges inrelationships and marriages is
that we aren't exposed.
We want you to see the goodparts of us.
Many and they talk about this.
The issue is that you show upwith the representative of
yourself, and that's not goingto work because we talk about it

(18:12):
all the time.

Shanea (18:13):
When I show up to a marriage, I show up to die yeah
you show up to be like christ Itake on the identity of christ.

Walter (18:24):
You take on the identity of christ.
You take on the mind of christ.
I take on the mind of christbut my role is the church.
Yes, yet the thing is that whenyou think about christ, christ
said and we read that scripturebefore he said when the enemy
comes, he will find nothing inme.
This is why it's important thatyou be at a place of
unashamedness unashamed.

Shanea (18:45):
When you're not full of sin, which that is what he's is
what it's saying.
He was he, he had no sin.
He was not full of sin, and Iknow that we're not perfect they
could find no sin in him.

Walter (18:58):
I know that we're not perfect, but it's essentially
saying that there's nothing thatyou're holding on to.
Going back and I'm going to sayit like a broken record William
McDowell there's nothing.
He said, withholding nothing.
William McDowell said thatthere's nothing I can hold on to
you.
Right.
Like there's nothing I can holdon to.
If I want to experience trueintimacy with God, I have to let

(19:18):
go of it all.

Shanea (19:19):
Yeah, I have to be completely honest and open about
everything.

Walter (19:22):
Exactly, and if I want to experience intimacy within my
marriage, within myrelationship, I have to let go
of everything.

Shanea (19:30):
Yeah, because the enemy when he comes, he will look and
he will see if he can findanything in you that he can use
against you Exactly, which isthe things that you've done,
probably in your past that youare ashamed of, or people who
hurt you in the past that youhaven't forgiven, and so you
still have wounds, and so he'sgonna come and he's gonna poke

(19:50):
he's gonna poke and he's gonnapoke and you're gonna bleed, and
when you start bleeding, youbleed on other people.

Walter (19:56):
Yeah yeah, and I think, um, I want to let me see,
because I don't think we touchedon this before and it did um, I
looked and it did not show therevelation that I had on here.

Shanea (20:08):
It kind of reverted it, so it sounds weird.

Walter (20:14):
Let's see.

Shanea (20:18):
What you looking for.

Walter (20:20):
Because I like the way that was worded.

Shanea (20:22):
Yeah.

Walter (20:23):
And I have it here.
I was going to send it to you.
Okay, yeah, because it, yes,yeah, it completely reworded
what I said continue becausewe're going to go back and we're
going to touch more on yeah,I'll keep that for when we go

(20:44):
back we're going to touch more.
I don't think we touched onthis enough and I'm looking to
see, because we had a wholediscussion about it.
So let's, uh, let me see, let'ssay this, let's say this, uh,
the impact of past wounds whichis what we was just talking

(21:08):
about.
Yeah, part of the reason which Ijust said part of the reason
it's hard to stand before godnaked and unashamed because, of
previous experiences and that'swhat we were talking about with
our fathers, our mothers or lackthereof, or even sometimes just
our parents in general,grandparents, or the fact that

(21:29):
we struggle with rejection, orwe've exposed ourselves to
others and ended up being forcedto face disappointment.
Right.
So we talked about bleeding onother people.
Because you have these wounds,your soul is wounded.
In many cases, your spirit iswounded.

Shanea (21:47):
Yes, your spirit's wounded, your soul's wounded.

Walter (21:51):
All these cuts, all these cuts, all these bruises.
Yeah, all these cuts, all thesebruises.
So when you are dealing withall of that, you're thinking how
can I go before God when youare ashamed?
Yeah.

Shanea (22:07):
You're broken, you're hurt or you're hurt and you
don't trust anyone, becauseeveryone in your life who were
close to you were the ones whohurt you or allowed you to get
hurt, and so it's hard.
I know for me it was hard toform a relationship with God
after my conversion.
It's something that I really,really wanted, but I couldn't

(22:30):
fully expose myself because Istill had a ton of shame and a
ton of hurt from a lot of peoplewho were really close to me,
including my own father.
He like completely abandoned uswhen we were kids, and so I
didn't have a relationship withmy dad, and so for those who
didn't really have arelationship with their father,

(22:50):
it's hard to have a relationshipwith the father If you don't
really know what thatrelationship is supposed to look
like, and even if you did havea father, if you don't really
know what that relationship issupposed to look like, yeah, and
even if you did have a fatheryou didn't have, if you didn't
have a good relationship withhim, it's hard to kind of open
up and trust, um, someone withthose inner parts of you who
hurt you in the first place itcan become challenging, and I

(23:11):
mean, I think that's a story formany people.

Walter (23:14):
The story for many people is that they did not have
a father, and so they looked atthe father as like I don't want
to have anything to do with him, I don't know.
I grew up in a church and so,for whatever reason, I never
looked at God as the problem.

(23:35):
Like you know, I knew it was adifference between God and my
father, but of course, like Itold you, I didn't even I didn't
find out.
My father passed away when Iwas nine months, until I was 11.
And so this man that wasraising me, I thought he was my
father and I just thought thathe hated me which is why he

(23:56):
treated me the way he treated me.
But you know, I would pray and Imean I remember God speaking to
me as early as 15 when I wasasking him why I went through
this stuff.
I went through and really justkind of providing revelation and
so for me, it never really, Ijust never understood how big

(24:18):
God was.
That was my issue.
I never understood how big hewas, even though I had
experiences.
I didn't understand thesupernatural experiences that I
had growing up.
I was scared.
Yeah.
You know we talk aboutlevitating and all of these
different things like that whichwe won't get into.
But you can imagine a childevery morning looking at

(24:45):
everybody in the building, yourspirit traveling.
Yes, and you don't know what itis?
Yeah, and so my relationshipwith God was different.
I think it was just I didn'tunderstand how real he was, but
we dig into this.

Shanea (25:00):
Because you just read about him in the Bible.
No one actually really even hasa real relationship with God.

Walter (25:07):
Which digs back into intimacy, having an intimate
relationship with God, trulyexperiencing him, which once
again requires giving over allof you.

Shanea (25:18):
Treating him like he is an actual, real person, which he
is he's a live living God.

Walter (25:24):
He's your father.
Yes, he's your father, but,like you said, when you have a
tainted relationship with yourfather, it could shift how you
view God, the father, becauseyou are viewing him through a
lens of hurt and disappointmentand rejection.
So yeah, and this goes into thenext part, the effect of sin

(25:48):
Sin in general.
It creates shame and causes youto run and hide from God or the
person you sinned against.
We talked about that.
That's what sin does.

Shanea (25:57):
Yeah, well, I mean, sin leads you to death.
It doesn't lead you closer toGod.

Walter (26:03):
And it's just.
There's a shame that comes uponit, because God does hate sin.
Yet at the same time you get socaught up in the sin that you
forget that you can repent andturn away.
That's why the Bible says thatDavid was a man after god's own
heart.
One of the things that we wouldconsistently see with david is,

(26:23):
when he did wrong, he wouldalways turn to god and say god,
forgive me.
Once he recognized it, he wouldhumble himself and go before
god and say god, I'm Help me,but we're not really taught that
Like as children.

Shanea (26:38):
when we do stuff wrong, even when we apologize, it's
still.
We don't get met with the sametype of love.

Walter (26:46):
Well, we have to be really careful too, right,
because, like I tell a baby girl, true repentance is turning
away.
So, even as adults, and even askids we apologize, but we go
back and do the same thing.
When I think of David, I thinkof like, okay, he did wrong and

(27:09):
he don't do it again, right.
So, true, repentance causes youto turn away from what you was
doing, but there has to be arevelation that what you did was
wrong right and that you trulywant to change.
Yes, so because of that sin, itleads to negatively impacting
your level of intimacy with godand um.

(27:32):
So we talked about that.
You want to talk about that?
The second point on that.
What baby.
Sin consequences theself-inflicted wounds.

Shanea (27:45):
Oh yeah, so it's all over the place.
It is.
But um so, uh, we see, like inthe garden, how sin creates
shame and you run and hide fromGod, because that's what Adam
and Eve did when the enemy cameto them and produce some type of

(28:09):
doubt and cause them to sin.
It naturally produces an amountof shame and then you hide from
God it naturally produces anamount of shame.
And then you hide from God andthen you don't even repent, you
just start blaming other people,like when the Lord came to Adam
and was like what'd you do?

(28:30):
Why'd you do this?
And he's like look, this womanyou gave me yeah, she made me do
it.
She made me do it, she made medo it, you start believing do it
.

Walter (28:37):
She made me do it.
You start bleeding on otherpeople.

Shanea (28:39):
Yes.

Walter (28:40):
And we do this a lot.

Shanea (28:41):
Yeah.

Walter (28:42):
We do this a lot.
We bleed on other people a lot.

Shanea (28:44):
Yeah Well, this part where it says sinning against
yourself causes you to createself-inflicted wounds, which in
return, leads to your yourbleeding out on other people.

Walter (28:58):
So why did you?
What was the significance ofwhy that?
Why did that stand out to youwhen you were?

Shanea (29:05):
So when I was reading Proverbs Proverbs, I believe
it's just five through sevenjust talks about all sexual
immorality just in general.
And so when you have sexoutside of God's original design
, that's sexual immorality.

(29:25):
Right, and the worst sin thatyou can commit is a sexual
immorality because, you'recommitting sin against yourself,
which means you'reself-inflicting.
You're creating self-inflictingwounds in your own spirit, not

(29:50):
by other people, but by you,because you are sinning against
yourself.

Walter (29:52):
Internally, you're self-inflicting your own wounds.
That digs into when you'rehaving sex, yes, when you're
having sex.
Adultery.

Shanea (30:03):
When you're looking at adult films and when you're
engaging in self-gratification.

Walter (30:09):
It's all self-inflicted.

Shanea (30:10):
Yeah.
It's all things that whenyou're sitting with yourself,
you're harming yourself.
It's negative Because your bodyis a temple of the lord yeah
and so you're in your neck,you're introducing stuff into
you on purpose, you're stabbingyourself on purpose, thinking
that you're this is, it's all,it's nothing but pleasure.

(30:31):
But it's not.
It's not pleasure no it's pain,it's pain.
And then now you have to, youhave to um deal with the shame
and the guilt that you inflictedon your own self.
And then, a lot of times you do, you sit there and you're like
dang, I shouldn't have did thatyeah I feel really bad.
I feel dirty.
I feel I shouldn't have donethat.

(30:53):
I don't know why I did it.

Walter (30:56):
It's really going back into the importance of just
understanding what you do andhow it negatively impact you,
and so we went through.
I'm looking now, let's seeLooking.
Go ahead, baby, oh was thatProverbs 32, 36?

Shanea (31:18):
No, no, it's not 32, 36.

Walter (31:20):
That's messed up oh our notes are all messed up on here,
but we're gonna keep going yeahthey completely destroyed our
notes completely, but it's cool,we're gonna keep going, because
I was trying to find thatscripture that I that I was
talking about.

Shanea (31:33):
Yeah, dang, you'll have to go back to the original notes
but even there I put 32 36because it was.
It was so much that was going onwhen we was taking down the
notes and I had just woke up andI don't even know why my bible
was on proverbs, because thenight before I was reading um,

(31:54):
um ephesians and I don't evenknow why I was on Proverbs.
And I just started readingProverbs.
I was like, hey, wake up.
You need to work on thispodcast episode, so let me put
Proverbs in front of you.

Walter (32:09):
What Proverbs that scripture that you was using
specifically?
What was?
Because I know we touched onone.
What was it specifically saying?
Because I can find it fromthere I, I don't remember this
is what happened.
Y'all, god gives revelation andit's so much be hidden.
We try to take notes and thenwe try to get it set up
correctly and it just I reallyhonestly, babe, I really don't,

(32:31):
I really don't remember it waswas talking about sex.

Shanea (32:36):
Oh, I think it's definitely between Proverbs 5
and Proverbs 7.

Walter (32:43):
So I think I want to find this to give it to him.

Shanea (32:49):
I know it's Proverbs 5.

Walter (32:50):
I'm looking for it because I think the scripture is
so important.
You find that I will continueokay and then we'll come back to
it.
So I think the thing about itis this right here, and we

(33:13):
touched on this before you cansin against yourself you can sin
against man.
Matthews 18 15, and it is anexample.
You can read that and ittouches on the importance of not
sinning against or what to dowhen.
When you sin against someone, Iwant someone to sin against you
and that's literally just howyou treat people.

(33:34):
Matthews 18, 15 states that ifanother believer sins against
you, go privately and point outthe offense.
If the other person listens andconfess it, you have won that
person back.
And it kind of further exploreswhat to do if that doesn't work
and how literally that personcan be cast out because of them

(33:58):
sinning against you.
So you could sin against others,you could sin against yourself
and, of course, you can sinagainst God, and this all could
lead to negatively impacting thelevel of intimacy that you have
with God.
But at the same time, when welook at it from a relationship
perspective, as far as ourmarriage goes, if I'm

(34:18):
consistently sinning against you, it could start negatively
impacting how we, how ourintimacy is, kind of how we
approach intimacy within ourmarriage, and people don't
realize that While it's not goodfor you to hold offense, it's
also not good for me to offendyou or vice versa.

(34:40):
And if I've offended you andyou're coming to me and telling
me I've offended you or viceversa.
It's our responsibility to getthat right.
God is going to hold usaccountable.
God is going to hold usaccountable.
So let's look into the physicalaspect of intimacy.

Shanea (35:06):
Okay, yeah, I can't find the verse and I don't want to.

Walter (35:09):
It's fine, we'll come back to it.
So the reason this was soimportant to me is because I
believe that so many people, uh,they focus on physical alone.
Like when you first meet thatperson and you hear it on so
many occasions, so manydifferent examples oh my gosh,
it was so this.
They were so that I love theway their body looked.

(35:30):
I love this about them it's allphysical, it's all physical and
it stays physical yeah, and ityou can't even get past the
physical no, what do you likeabout her?
oh, I like her eyes, I like howbeautiful she is.
I like her body.
What do you like about him?
I like this, I like that.
It's all physical attributesthat you are focusing on.

(35:51):
Focusing on.
Then you will say, okay, god,god brought us together, so this
is good.
Many times, this is where webegin experiencing intimacy and
this is what we was talkingabout in our relationships and
place a large amount of focus on.
We focus on the physicalattraction, we focus on touch,

(36:12):
we focus on how that personmakes us feel, the outward
attributes we enjoy about thatperson.
A lot of us never go past thatpart no, but even your feelings
are tainted it's all about you,it's all about what you see.
It's all.
It's literally a physical thingand we never get past it and

(36:35):
many times we're taught that youhave leaders that teach us find
someone that you are attractedto.
Yeah, find someone.
You need to know that when youwake up next to them, you like
what you see right, but beautyis fleeting proverbs 31 said
nothing about beauty other thanthe fact that it's fleeting.
When it described a virtuouswoman.
Ephesians 5 said nothing aboutphysical attraction when it

(37:00):
described how we are to approachmarriages and relationships.
Matter of fact, 1 Samuel, 16and 7, you want to read that?
If I can get it open.
Because this is reallyimportant.
1.

Shanea (37:16):
Samuel, 16 and 7.

Walter (37:18):
Yes.

Shanea (37:19):
States.
Oh, I think I hit 17.

Walter (37:24):
Okay, I got it.

Shanea (37:25):
Okay.

Walter (37:26):
But the Lord said to Samuel don't judge by his
appearance or height, For I haverejected him.
The Lord does not see things.
The way you see them.
Ladies, I'm sorry you can't bejudging a man because he's six

(37:47):
feet.
Sorry, god was talking aboutDavid.
Why you laugh.
It wasn't funny, god was.
I thought it was funny.
You laughed just now.
God was talking about David.
The reason he was having thisconversation is because Samuel
saw one of David brothers and hewas like surely he's King?

(38:10):
God was like nope, nope, nope,nope and he was telling us he
was correcting Samuel.
But it's a moment for us tolook at and say when God is in
something, god is always lookingat what is within first.

Shanea (38:26):
Yeah, so humans always look at the outward appearance,
they always look at the physicalattributes.
They don't look at what'sinside a person.
But they can't because theydon't.
They're not taught to.
We're supposed to take on themind of Christ.

Walter (38:40):
We're born into a world of sin.
Exactly so.
It's just what it is.
Yes and so when you look atthis right, what it shows us is
that intimacy and god designrelationships begin within.
You're drawn to that personbecause of what lies beneath the

(39:02):
layer of skin absolutely so,like even when god brought ease
to adam.

Shanea (39:09):
I don't recognize her, not because of how she looked,
but he recognized what was inher yeah who she was on the
inside and he spoke that yes andhe called her by that, he
called that out.

Walter (39:22):
And so even when we think about and we have to be
really careful because we'll bequick to say this is a
god-ordained marriage or this isa god-ordained relationship,
but when you dig into or youexplore the story or the origin
of that relationship, the originof that relationship, you begin
to realize that, bruh, thatrelationship was based upon lust

(39:45):
, that relationship started outbased upon lust.
You saw him, she saw you.
Physically, it just flared andyou just.

Shanea (39:56):
But people don't know what lust is.

Walter (39:59):
Okay.
So what would you say?
Lust is, Am I putting you onthe spot?

Shanea (40:02):
A little bit, a little bit.
So lust is anything that youkind of desire with your eyes,
right.

Walter (40:13):
We looked at the definition of lust.

Shanea (40:15):
Or gets your attention.
We did look it up, it's justnot on here.

Walter (40:20):
So lust is an intense or passionate desire, often
referring specifically to strongsexual desires.
It can also be used to broadlydescribe a powerful craving for
something such as power, moneyor success.
Describe a powerful craving forsomething such as power, money
or success.
So you have physical orphysiological or not, I'm sorry.

(40:42):
Psychological, god help me.
Emotional which?
Or emotional which is a strongphysical or emotional craving,
particularly for sexualgratification.
So lust is all about.
When you think of lust, it'sabout self-gratification.

Shanea (40:57):
Right.
But then people are like, okay,well, I'm not lusting after
this person but, they areattractive.
And so then we looked at whatthe definition of attraction is
right, and it says the action orpower of evoking interest,
pleasure or liking for someoneor something.
Power of evoking interestpleasure or liking for someone

(41:18):
or something.
That's lust.
It's because I should not belooking at you at all and having
a thought about your outwardappearance.

Walter (41:34):
So here's the danger, people what we don't realize,
and that thunder is hitting.
What we don't realize is that Icould lust after my wife and my
wife can lust after me, andthat's not of God, even though
we are in a God-ordainedmarriage where God has brought
us together.
He is the center of thismarriage.
Lust can still take theforefront of this marriage,

(41:55):
where I am looking at her andI'm lusting after her and I am
approaching her from a physicalperspective, as well as her
doing the same with me.
It's still wrong, it's stillgoing to be dangerous, because
it can open a door for otherthings, which is why we have to
always check our level ofintimacy.
Why am I intimate, like?

(42:17):
What is what's drawing me toyou?
What am I connecting myself to?

Shanea (42:22):
Right Like why am I attracted to you?
Why do I find you beautiful?
Why do I find this womanbeautiful?
Why do I find this man handsome?
Why do I find it?

Walter (42:32):
There's nothing wrong with you saying that your wife
is beautiful.
There's nothing wrong with yousaying that your husband is
handsome.
But why?
But why?
What is it?
And it's fine if you're like,okay, she's a beautiful person.
Yeah, we talked about thisbefore.
I would always tell you it'snot that you're not beautiful,
you are beautiful.
But it's something deeperwithin that has my attention to
where I'm not driven from set bysaying like, oh my gosh, I just

(42:55):
want to be physical with her.
It's more so, like I want toget to know her more and I want
to spend time with her and Iwant to gain an understanding of
what's with inside you andthat's what God has called it to
be.

Shanea (43:08):
Yeah, and I think the thing is and I know we talked
about this in the last episodeand people got mad because
they're like you can look atpeople and not lust after them.
And it's like what's yourdefinition of lust?
Because if I'm with you and yousee another woman and you're
like she's beautiful, there'ssomething in you that's
attracting you to her beauty.

(43:30):
What is it in you that isattracting you to her, to her
outward appearance?

Walter (43:36):
which is what you have to give to god and people don't
believe.

Shanea (43:39):
They don't like to die to self they don't want to hear
you have to die to self it'spossible we're human right.
We live in a world full of sin,and so there are things that we
have to do, we have to put inplace.

Walter (44:04):
And I would say once again, men, it is possible for
you to be in a situation whereyou see women and you don't see
nothing but your sister or yourbrother.
Matter of fact, if you see awoman that's half naked or
whatever the case may be, likebro, I don't even want to see it
, I'm turning away.
No, I don't want to even see it.

Shanea (44:12):
Exactly.

Walter (44:15):
I'm like why are you out here like that?
It's not like, oh my gosh, Igot to look, I got to look.
If that is the case, you reallyneed to take that to God
because, that is unhealthy.
It's not healthy, it's not goodto be in a situation.
We hear so many people talkabout so many things and it's
like, bro, y'all in bondage, youstruggled with same-sex
attraction and homosexuality andyou think that for the rest of

(44:36):
your life that you're justsupposed to struggle with being
attracted to men as a man, oryou're supposed to struggle with
being attracted to women as awoman, and it's like, no, you're
not.
What that is telling me is thatyou aren't fully free.

Shanea (44:48):
Yeah, or attraction to the opposite sex.

Walter (44:50):
That too, you're not fully free, no, and my heart
goes out to you because it'slike you can be free.

Shanea (44:56):
You could be free yeah, you just have to die to self and
you gotta stop doing it.
You can't be scrolling oninstagram and like, oh, I see
all these baddies.
No, you shouldn't be.
If you see all these baddies,you don't need to be.
You don't need to be on changeout your feed.

Walter (45:08):
Change your feed.
Change out your feed yes, andthere's some things that you
can't avoid.

Shanea (45:14):
You can't stop other people from dressing the way
that they want to dress, or youknow like you can't stop it, but
what you can do is stopyourself from looking yes, so
let's, let's go on before we getcaught up okay so in
god-ordained relationships and Isaw someone had a comment about
this.

Walter (45:32):
We talked about this True intimacy from within the
context of marriage.
Always got to say that willlead to intimacy within private
moments.
Whereas you partake, you groweven closer together.
There is a desire to draw nearto that individual that is not
driven by lust, but a pureness.

Shanea (45:53):
Right, that's because of the God in them.
And some people will say, well,it's a God-ordained marriage
because I'm a Christian, he's aChristian.
But we have to look at thebeginning right, where you had
Adam, who spent time with God,whose spirit joined with his

(46:14):
spirit.
I don't know what scripturethat is, I know I have it.
But when your spirit is joinedto God's spirit, you become one.

Walter (46:23):
It's.

Shanea (46:24):
Ephesians right or Galatians.

Walter (46:25):
That is, give me a second.

Shanea (46:28):
Paul spoke on it right, Because we were talking about
this, but anyway.
So Adam's spirit was joined toGod's spirit.
Eve's spirit was joined toGod's spirit.

Walter (46:40):
You're talking about 1 Corinthians 6 and 17.

Shanea (46:42):
Yeah.

Walter (46:44):
Chapter 6, verse 17.

Shanea (46:45):
What does it say, babe?

Walter (46:47):
That says, give me one second, Chapter 6, 17.
It says that but the person whowas joined to the Lord is one
spirit with him.

Shanea (46:59):
So they were each joined to the Lord.
So, yes, you as a Christian andyou as a Christian, and then
coming together and then sayingthat it's a God-ordained
marriage is not what that is.
Sorry, eve brought or Godbrought Eve to Adam.

Walter (47:19):
God told Adam that it was.
God said it was not good forman to be alone.
Adam wasn't even looking.

Shanea (47:24):
He created Eve for Adam.

Walter (47:26):
Specifically, specifically.
God didn't create Eve, sarah,whomever else five, six, seven
different women and brought allfive, six, seven women to Adam
and said you choose.
Or God didn't create Eve, sarah, elisa, rebecca, and said Adam,
you can be with every last oneof them.
No, he didn't.

(47:47):
Or vice versa.
For Eve, god created.
Eve for Adam God created.
Eve for.
Adam from Adam's rib, meaningthat there was a part of Adam
that was taken out and placedinto Eve, which is why the Bible
says that the two become oneflesh.
The two become one because Godis bringing Eve back to Adam and

(48:09):
there's a part of Adam that wasin Eve.

Shanea (48:12):
Well, and one meaning a complete 360 wholeness a
wholeness in all aspects, right.
So Adam being whole beingjoined with the Holy Spirit is
one.
Eve being whole joined with theHoly Spirit is one.
Them coming together is one.

(48:35):
Because you have this HolySpirit, you have God's Spirit,
god's Spirit, you have God.
Now you have a Trinity, right,and so it's just like when you
have a drop of water plus a dropof water, it's still one drop
of water when you mix those dropof water and you add another
drop of water and that's stilljust one big drop of water.
But when you start mixing stuffin that's not supposed to be,

(48:58):
that's when you start gettingcaught up in the stuff right,
because adam was missing a partof himself, which is another
part of being whole being wholewhen he was joined to eve,
making them one also and this isonly I know, it's a lot
everyone but this is somethingthat you have to really ask God
to really give you wisdom on, tounderstand.

Walter (49:17):
You can only understand this by the Spirit.
It's only understood by theSpirit.
So, moving on, sex is aphysical act that may or may not
involve emotional connection,while intimacy is about deep
closeness, vulnerability andtrust.

(49:37):
True intimacy goes beyond thephysical and involves emotional,
spiritual or intellectualbonding that builds lasting
connections.
So we talked about this there'ssex, there's intimacy.
right, you can have sex withoutbeing intimate correct but we

(50:02):
misconstrue sex for intimacyexactly, exactly there's a lot
of people having sex, butthey're not intimate because
it's a closeness, but it's likea fake closeness.

Shanea (50:13):
Yes, it's just close proximity with your physical
bodies.

Walter (50:18):
And you dug into this.
Right, we talked about this.
You want to read point five,because that digs into what
happens when you're having sexwithout God.

Shanea (50:25):
Yeah, so like if you're having sex with someone who God
did not ordain for you to bewith, you're strengthening, or
you're strengthening andcreating ungodly ties, but when
you're with the person God hasordained and called for you to
be with, you're strengtheningand creating godly ties.

(50:47):
So we have soul ties, right,but you could have a godly soul
tie or you could have an ungodlysoul tie and what happens in
those instances.

Walter (50:59):
If it's something that is outside of god, you start
literally having a strongeryearning from a physical
perspective right I gotta havesex with you.
I have to do this.
I, oh my gosh, like I'm justdrawn to you.
Oh, she's like.
Now I'm starting to lust afteryou.

Shanea (51:16):
I need you every second of the day, and it's, it's just,
we gotta be, and it's it'scrazy because when you're with
someone you're not supposed tobe with and you're having sex
with them and you're, they'renot treating you right, but you
can't.
You can't get out of therelationship, because every time
you're having sex, you'restrengthening a cord, you're
strengthening a tie, and so youkeep strengthening that tie.

(51:39):
Of course it's going to be hardto break away and you're like
dang, I don't even know why I'mstaying in this relationship.
Because you keep having sex,you keep strengthening a bond,
you keep strengthening a tiethat you can't see, and so
that's why, in the natural,you're like I know I don't need
to be in this relationship.
This is a horrible relationshipbut I don't know how to get out.

Walter (51:59):
Until you were able to get away, and now you stopped
the whole physical, because thatwas the only thing that was
even connecting you.

Shanea (52:05):
Yeah.

Walter (52:05):
Was the physical.

Shanea (52:06):
Yeah.
So, but then, when you breakaway from that person, you're
still like I don't know why.
I still feel like I'm connectedto this person.
You have to break those tiesand it's hard because there's
nothing too hard for God,obviously, but there's a lot of
work that you have to do becauseof how many times y'all had sex
or how long y'all been together.

(52:30):
It just is what it is.
It's easier to break those tiesfrom people when you don't have
sex.
It's easier for you to seebecause we see, in last time
when we talk, uh, in the lastepisode with samson and delilah,
um, he was blinded because ofher, yeah, laying with her being

(52:54):
blinded by lust.

Walter (52:55):
Broke that covenant off that he had with God and it
literally negatively impactedeverything.
And so let's dig into this next.
We talked about this what babe.
Intimacy is the act of becomingone.
We're looking at oneness in godand you remember we was talking

(53:24):
about this.
Intimacy is the act of becomingone, and it acts as a bridge
between the two and god wetalked about that.
Um, what?
That's one of the things thatgod was really, uh, placing in
my spirit the importance ofintimacy with God, the
importance of intimacy with yourpartner, intimacy from how God
designed intimacy to be.
It's that bridge that connectsthe two.
It's that bridge that connectsyou to the Father.

(53:46):
It's that bridge that connectsyou to Christ.
Even when we think about therelationship with Christ and the
disciples, where they went frombeing Christ's servants to
being Christ's friend, withinthat three-year period of doing
life together, is there was alevel of intimacy that was there
, from walking together, fromdoing life together, from them

(54:06):
being obedient to.
Jesus from them, being open towhat he had to say and listening
and submitting themselves,because Jesus told them you have
to literally let go ofeverything and follow me.
Here it goes once again,withholding nothing.

Shanea (54:23):
Withholding nothing, literally, and that's a great
example, because every time Ithink about my journey with God,
with following Christ, you haveto.
I had to let go of everythingand I had to be okay with it.
Even other people are going tobe mad, but I had to let go of
everything Everything I used toknow, everything I used to do,
everything I used to say, how Iused to dress, how I used to

(54:45):
talk.

Walter (54:47):
Because you realize all of it it's not God, it's not
what God wanted us to be, it'snot what God wanted us to be.
It's not what God wanted me tobe, and it was a struggle to let
go of friends who were family,who I loved dearly.
Yet I had to understand thatthis is a life that I created
outside of God.
I did that.

Shanea (55:06):
That was me.
I created these friendships.
It was centered based upon theworld culture that is driven by
the enemy yeah, and even the wayyou created relationships with
your own family members were notgood.
Like like I said, you you keepstrengthening these cords, you
keep strengthening these bonds,not just through sex, but just

(55:29):
being in certain places withcertain people.
You create ties just being,with being with people you know
yeah, yeah, and so I'm trying to.

Walter (55:43):
Okay, I'm looking at time as my wife is speaking.
I think this is really goodthat we need to get through yeah
the enemy's counterfeit, andthis is digging back into our
episode of counterfeit yeah sowe touched on this right.
The enemy seeks to mimic or andwe really need you to hear this
when we say this and somepeople may not like it- yeah,

(56:04):
let me say that disclaimer.
This may this may beuncomfortable, but this is a
reality.
Okay, and it's everything thatwe touched on.
Here's what happened with this.
My wife came up with the.
Well, we're just gonna go withit.
Okay, the enemy seeks to mimicor distort God's design with a

(56:27):
version that appears intimatebut lacks spiritual unity or
divine covering.
This is the enemy's version ofmarriage.
So the characteristics of acounterfeit marriage or a
marriage that has been designedby the enemy is flesh first

(56:52):
rather than spirit first.
If it's focused on attraction,emotion or pleasure instead of
alignment with god's spirit, youwon't get that next point, babe
okay, yeah, I had, because I Idid not like that you didn't
like, I didn't like this part,so I put the original back in

(57:12):
Okay, go ahead then it's okay.
Well, I have it here too.
So here's what I say the enemyseeks to mimic or distort God's
design with the version thatappears intimate but lacks
spiritual unity or divinecovering.
His version is flesh firstrather than the spirit first.

Shanea (57:37):
Focused on attraction, emotion or pleasure instead of
alignment with God's spirit.
Go ahead, babe.
No, I was just here when I hadthe enemy's desire for intimacy
is a distortion of God'soriginal design for intimacy,
and we know that he twistseverything and distorts
everything God intended for goodand makes it evil and distorts
everything.
God intended for good and makesit evil.
So just being intimate he will.

(58:01):
He use sex as a form ofintimacy.

Walter (58:05):
Yeah, he does.

Shanea (58:06):
You know what I mean.

Walter (58:08):
That becomes your intimacy.

Shanea (58:09):
Exactly that's all you think of when you think of
intimacy is sex.

Walter (58:13):
Exactly, and it's transactional Exactly your
entire.
All you think of when you thinkof intimacy is sex.
Exactly, and it's transactionalExactly.
Your entire relationshipbecomes transactional.
Your love becomes transactionalinstead of covenantal, and so
it's based on needs, desires orconvenience, not sacrificial
love or divine purpose.
And instead of having aspiritual alignment, what are

(58:36):
you looking at?

Shanea (58:37):
oh uh, I didn't know that.
I didn't know this part was inhere.

Walter (58:41):
Yeah, it is okay, see, let me, let me go let me, let me
, let me work let me work.
And so there's soul tieswithout spiritual alignment.

Shanea (58:52):
It's soul ties um one of the things that God dealt with
me on in the early on with you,Right like what I was saying,
like you having a tie withsomebody, but it's an ungodly
tie.

Walter (59:01):
Because, well, you're tied to the soul when God has
called for our spirits to beconnected.

Shanea (59:06):
Exactly so.
People are always saying soulmates, and we talked about this
in a very familiar first episode.

Walter (59:10):
We talk about you love you, we talk about you, love you
, even love from your soul.
And that's one of the things Ididn't understand until moving
on with this guy was telling methat I'm supposed to love from
the spirit.
And that digs into Galatians 5.
Because when we look atGalatians 5, Galatians 5 says
that love is a fruit of thespirit.

Shanea (59:29):
Exactly.
So how can we love if we don'thave the Holy Spirit?
Exactly, if we aren't being ledby the Holy Spirit?
Because it's produced by thefruit of the Spirit, exactly.

Walter (59:39):
It's a fruit of the Spirit, exactly, and so, with
that being the case, when youlove outside of God, it's very
soulish, yeah, so it becomestransactional, because the enemy
is transactional.

Shanea (59:52):
It becomes flesh-based.
The enemy is transactional.
It becomes flesh based, itbecomes love, becomes something
that is gratified and recognizedthrough how you're feeling in
your flesh and in your body.
You don't love me because youdon't do this for me.
You don't love me because Idon't feel this.
You don't love me because ofthis.
That's crazy, but it's a greatrevelation because it's right

(01:00:12):
there.
The fruit of the spirit is love.
One of the fruits of spirit islove.

Walter (01:00:17):
So with the soul ties and with that being the case is
we talk about this as anemotional or sexual bond that
fills deep but lead to confusiondependence or even bondage or
even bondage.
So, when you're dealing withthis, this is so important

(01:00:37):
because God's timing Jesusalways talked about going with
the timing of the father.
The enemy always will set youup in a space where it's built
outside of God's timing or will,often through manipulation,
lust or emotional wounds, and itis void of true oneness with
God, making the union vulnerableto division insecurity and

(01:01:03):
spiritual warfare.
This, right here, everyone, isthe enemy's example of marriage.
I am so sorry that you may feeluncomfortable with this, but
the enemy has his own version ofmarriage that he wants you to
be a part of.

Shanea (01:01:19):
Exactly, and we just went through it.
Sure did.

Walter (01:01:22):
Once again highlights Flesh first rather than spirit
first, transactional instead ofcovenantal, right Soul ties
without spiritual alignment.
Hallelujah a covenantal rightsoul ties without spiritual
alignment, hallelujah, and it'sbuilt off of.
It's built outside of god'stiming or will, often through
manipulation, lust or emotionalwounds yeah.

Shanea (01:01:44):
So you're approaching dating or relationships like um,
am I attracted to this person,person flesh first.
Then what can this person dofor me?
What do they bring to the table?
Transaction, it's transactional.
Then you start doing thingswith each other, creating ties

(01:02:05):
so that even when you want tobreak away from this person, you
can't because you alreadycreated a tie, whether you and
that's due to dating, being incertain places, in certain
spaces with this person, beingin close proximity with this
person, having sex with thisperson, kissing this person,
touching this person, being incertain different places with
this person, you're creatingties and ties to places with

(01:02:27):
this particular person.
So, even if you want to getaway, you can't.
Yeah.
And so then it's like, oh like,oh well, we should just get
married and strengthen that tieeven more yep, it's the only
thing to do, and the result ofthat is this and I'm all doing
this without consulting god whenyou think about it, let's think
about it from this perspective.

Walter (01:02:47):
So while a god-ordained union multiplies oneness in him,
the enemy's version multipliesbrokenness two people joining
without god as their foundation,often leading to spiritual
disconnection rather than unionyeah so you are literally in a
situation where there's a soultie, but spiritually you are

(01:03:09):
dead yeah, yeah yeah so when youthink of the enemy strategy,
we're going to end out this andright here, uh, the enemy
strategy against intimacy.

(01:03:32):
We know the enemy's desire forintimacy is to distort, the
distortion of God's originaldesign for intimacy.
God's original design forintimacy within the context of
marriage was to create moregodly offsprings and to have
your marriage and yourrelationship be a reflection of
him.

Shanea (01:03:48):
Yeah, because, when you look at it, you, you guys, are,
you're a Trinity with God,you're're one with god, so you
can only produce, uh, godly,like beings and this is seen in
genesis 3, and you, god, wasdealing with you on this right.

Walter (01:04:06):
Uh, genesis 3, you talked about how what god was
placing in you was how the enemyintroduced doubt on the scene
with Adam and Eve, specificallywith Eve.

Shanea (01:04:18):
Yeah.
So the first thing he'll do isintroduce doubt into the
relationship or introduce doubtin you to distort what God has
already told you about howrelationships operate.
So now you have the worldtelling you how relationships
should be, how you shouldapproach relationships, but

(01:04:38):
you're not listening to what Godhas said.
It's right there in Genesis hewill bring someone to you.

Walter (01:04:44):
But it's like no, he will bring them to you.

Shanea (01:04:46):
The world says I'm supposed to go find you, but the
world says no, I got to go outand find.
The Bible says a man who findsa wife finds a good thing.
But no, you have to be led bythe Holy spirit.
That's the whole finding part.

Walter (01:04:56):
Yeah.
You know, and then you havehere it.
Really it replaces devotion toGod with idolatry.

Shanea (01:05:05):
Yeah, well then, uh, going back real quick just to
one, is how, when he did producethe doubt, they send, which
opened the door for shame, lustand broken intimacy with God,
and so you have this distortionof what relationships are
supposed to look like, and nowyou don't have a great
relationship with God, you can'tbe one with God, because you

(01:05:27):
already opened the door.

Walter (01:05:28):
Which will lead to the idolatry and being open to other
gods.

Shanea (01:05:33):
Exactly, exactly.

Walter (01:05:36):
And then you have Romans 1, 24 through 27 for that, and
it says so.
God abandoned them to dowhatever shameful things their
hearts desired.
As a result, they did vile anddegrading things with each
other's bodies.
They traded the truth about Godfor a lie.
So, they worshiped and servedthe things God created instead
of the creator himself, who isworthy of eternal praise.

(01:05:57):
Amen.
That is why God abandoned themto their shameful desires.
Even the women turned againstthe natural way to have sex and
instead indulged in sex witheach other, and the men, instead
of having normal sexualrelations with women, burned
with lust for each other.
Men did shameful things withother men and as a result of
this sin, they suffer withinthemselves the penalty they

(01:06:21):
deserved.

Shanea (01:06:22):
Yeah, so did you read this?
The desire is for us to giveourselves to God.
Okay, Well, the desire is forus to give all of ourselves to
God, withholding nothing right.
And the enemy distorts thatwith this passion that we end up
replacing it with idolatry.

Walter (01:06:41):
Romans 24, 1 through 24 and 27.
So we?

Shanea (01:06:44):
end up with these lustful desires, these unnatural
desires, desires to fulfill ourflesh?

Walter (01:06:50):
Or let's dig into it even more you may not be dealing
with homosexuality.
Or let's dig into it even moreyou may not be dealing with
homosexuality.

Shanea (01:07:05):
You may be dealing with the desires to pull in other
things within your marriage toysand looking at movies, adult
films and things that you shouldnot be toys.

Walter (01:07:13):
You're lacking intimacy you're lacking god you're
lacking oneness, you're lackingwholeness you're lacking
something missing and nothingyou do will fill it, which is
why you keep trying to do thisand this.
And then people talk aboutthreesomes, and they talk about
uh wife's husband swap, yeah,just further perverting

(01:07:34):
everything Perversion,perversion perversion,
perversion.

Shanea (01:07:35):
And God's not going to stop you.
No, he's not going to stop you.
I mean he can if he has amission for you, but that
doesn't leave you void of theconsequences.
No Of you doing the things thatyou were doing.

Walter (01:07:48):
No.
And then this digs into and yougot now is it five?
Is it chapter five throughseven?

Shanea (01:07:54):
It's chapters five through seven kind of speaks on
sexual immorality Sexualimmorality and so.

Walter (01:08:02):
This is Proverbs, chapter five through seven, that
you all can read when you havetime.

Shanea (01:08:06):
Yeah, it's really good because it just paints a picture
of how sexual immorality justdestroys you.
It creates wounds Remember Isaid I was talking about
self-inflicted wounds, becauseit did just.
It destroys your soul and Idon't know where that scripture
is in Proverbs, but it itliterally says it will destroy

(01:08:26):
your soul when you're having sex.
Well outside of outside ofGod's original design.
Continue, Cause I remember youtalking about it.

Walter (01:08:34):
Hold on, I'll find it Outside of God's original design
.
Continue, because I rememberyou talking about it, mm-hmm.

Shanea (01:08:40):
Let's see.
So the enemy uses sex todestroy your soul, to inflict
wounds upon yourself and createstrong ties and strongholds so
that the eyes of your soul islike a lamp right, and so you
can't look beyond the truth.
Because your soul is wounded,so you only see and understand

(01:09:04):
things from a broken place.
You're not whole, so you can'teven see if this person is for
you.
You can't see if this word ofgod is true or not.
Um, because your, your, youreyes are just a reflection of
your soul, what you see and yoursoul is wounded, your soul is
broken, so you see stuff from abroken place proverbs 6 and 32,

(01:09:29):
new king james version.

Walter (01:09:30):
It says whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks
understanding.
He who does so destroys his ownsoul.

Shanea (01:09:38):
Yeah, you're having sex without understanding, and so
you're destroying your soul.
And so you have people lookingat us on our podcast like we're
arguing with each other or wehave some type of problem, which
I could see, but that's only.
You're interpreting things fromyour soul, because you're

(01:09:59):
broken.
Because you're broken and Idon't remember what scripture
that was about, how what's inyour soul?
You're interpreting light fordarkness, because darkness is
all you know.
Because you're broken and I'vebeen there, you know I was there

(01:10:19):
, you were.
I was there when we first gottogether she was when we first
got together.
I was so broken.

Walter (01:10:26):
I mean, the littlest thing that I would do would be
like oh my gosh, you're tryingto control me.
I'm like.
I just say that you can't takea left.

Shanea (01:10:34):
We have no other choice but to take a right and I'm like
I'm not gonna do that becauseyou're trying to box me in.

Walter (01:10:39):
I'm like ma'am, I'm just saying you can't take the left,
you can only take a right.
You're boxing me in how, sway,sway, how?
And I didn't understand and I'mlike I just, you know, you were
at a place of when you were ina situation where you was
controlled in a previousrelationship.
Of course, everything comes outand looks like that and vice

(01:11:00):
versa for me.
There were certain things Istruggled with because of
previous relationships that Godhad to deal with me on.
Yet, understandably, when Iwent through the process, god
focused on me and he.
That's when he really and wegot to get ready to go.
Yeah, that's when he really andwe got to get ready to go.
But that's when he reallystarted showing me that I was
loving Rome.
Yeah.
Even though I was like, howLike I expect her to love me the

(01:11:22):
way I love her.

Shanea (01:11:23):
But you're loving from your soul.
Yeah, it's transactional.
Yeah, you're loving from aplace where there are things
that you expect that shouldhappen.

Walter (01:11:31):
You do for me, as I do for you.

Shanea (01:11:33):
And that's what the world teaches you.

Walter (01:11:34):
And that's not love from God's perspective.
No.
God's love is.
I do for you and that's what hetold me he's like.
You love her in spite of it'sunconditioned.
You love her in spite of it'sreally challenging when you look

(01:11:55):
at it from a man.
The Bible says that you have tolove your wives as Christ loves
the church.

Shanea (01:11:59):
Yeah, like God doesn't love you.

Walter (01:12:01):
Jesus, as the church was mocking him, looked up to the
Father and said Father, forgivethem, for they know not what
they do.

Shanea (01:12:10):
God loves you in spite of all your sin.
Exactly he frowns upon it.

Walter (01:12:17):
He can't look upon sin, but there's still love to it.
He sent his son to die on thecross.
Yes, that whosoever believe inhim will not perish but have
eternal life.
Yes, yeah so uh, continue, babe, I'm sorry, no, you're good.

Shanea (01:12:36):
You're good.
I think we could, I think wecan move on.
We could, we could speak aboutit more, but I know we are a
little bit for time and we don'twant to make this a hour and a
half or two hour long but wehave a, you know we you're
dealing with sexual morality,yeah, um, and I don't.
I don't remember what umscripture that is that talks
about how deep this darknessgoes that's uh, matthew, I know

(01:13:00):
it's matthew but I'm not surewhat um.

Walter (01:13:04):
Go ahead and go through the points, I'll find it.

Shanea (01:13:05):
I believe it's matthew okay, and so, um, now we're
talking about, oh, how the enemywill.
Okay, and we talked about thisearlier, about making ourselves
one with god, but culturecontinues to entice us to become
one with prostitutes, creatingspiritual ties through casual

(01:13:27):
sex, through adult films, um,through self-gratification, um,
that bind people spiritually,emotionally and physically, and
it distorts god's originaldesign for intimacy.
I think we talked about this inthe last episode or the episode
before, about how, um, or wasthis the last episode because we
talked about sex?
The last episode about how theenemy will just he.

(01:13:51):
He distorts god's originaldesign for intimacy by creating
a fake intimacy.
So, self-gratification, you'recreating fake intimacy with
yourself yeah you're creatingintimacy with yourself.
You are looking at adult filmscreating intimacy with yourself.

(01:14:13):
It is a distorted view.
There isn't even a person therefor you to communicate.

Walter (01:14:18):
There's demons there there's demons there, but you
was talking about also not tointerrupt you matthew 6 22.
It says that your, your eye, islike a lamp that provides light
for your body.
When your eye is healthy, yourwhole body is filled with light,
yes, but when your eye isunhealthy, your whole body is
filled with light, yes, but whenyour eye is unhealthy, your
whole body is filled withdarkness yes and if the light

(01:14:39):
you think you have is actuallydarkness, how deep that darkness
is, and that's talking aboutyour spirit, yeah that's talking
about your spirit yeah

Shanea (01:14:51):
your eye being your spirit well, your eyes are to
get our gateway to your soulyeah, yeah, not, we're not
talking about the third eyepeople we're talking about.
We're discussing it from aspiritual perspective but even
when god is speaking to you, youinterpret what he says from

(01:15:12):
your soul.
And so he could be saying andGod can be giving you a dream
about a man or a woman, and youwill interpret that as oh, I
need to be with this person orsomething similar, or I need to
be in this position, but God'snot saying that.
But you don't know that becauseyou're interpreting it from a

(01:15:36):
broken place, you're not wholeand you're not one completely
with God.
To understand.

Walter (01:15:42):
At the same time, it's also understanding that your
spirit is tainted and congestedyour spirit is tainted, and
that's why you have to bemindful.

Shanea (01:15:50):
Your spirit is tainted and then your soul is tainted
yeah, that's why we have torenew our minds in Christ,
because, mindful, your spirit istainted and then your soul is
tainted.

Walter (01:15:55):
Yeah, that's why we have to renew our minds and cries
because continuously, once yourspirit gets to where it needs to
be, where it's intertwined withthe spirit of god and submitted
to god, yes, now you can workon that soul work yeah now you
can work on your soul andunderstand, yeah, and so you
just got to be careful, becausea lot of people think that their
spirit is good.
My spirit is healthy.
My spirit is good to go nah,bro, you tainted you broken.

(01:16:15):
Yeah, you, you woundedspiritually you're wounded.

Shanea (01:16:18):
Yeah, it's dangerous, you're wounded, but uh, go ahead
babe yeah, no, um, I was justsaying that how the enemy.
He will create, uh, spiritualties, um through casual sex or
um, through a distorted view ofwhat intimacy is, making
yourself one with a prostituteMeaning.

Walter (01:16:40):
When I say prostitute, it could be a man or a woman,
someone who has sex outside of,or it could be a situationship
it could be you dealing withsomeone who's just very
promiscuous, yeah.
Who's?

Shanea (01:16:53):
very active.
It could be you dealing withsomeone who's just very
promiscuous.

Walter (01:16:54):
Yeah, yeah, who's very active?

Shanea (01:16:55):
But you're making one yourself, one with not God, but
with someone else yeah, thatyou're not supposed to be with,

(01:17:17):
and so we see that through.
We see this culturalmanifestation through media
entertainment that's alwaysconsistently promoting lust.
Right, they're promotingpleasure over purpose
selfishness right umself-gratification, normalizing
and glorifying sex yeah, outsideof god's design yeah it's all
over and so you're justaccepting of it because it's
there, it's just not.

(01:17:37):
It's just because the majoritydoes.
It doesn't make it right.

Walter (01:17:44):
Just because god allows it doesn't mean that's what he
wants and that's the thing thatwe have to understand, and so we
have to understand.
The enemy's ultimate agenda hasalways been to what?

Shanea (01:17:58):
Steal, kill and destroy.
So he will steal your purity,he will kill your covenant with
God, covenant relationships, andhe will destroy God's design
for marriage.
So if you don't think that youcan be in a marriage that was
orchestrated by Satan, Sadlymistaken.

(01:18:19):
Yeah.

Walter (01:18:19):
It's a lack of wisdom, I'm sorry.

Shanea (01:18:21):
Yeah.

Walter (01:18:21):
And you have to pray on that and ask God to help you.
Yeah.
It's a lack of wisdom.
Yeah, and because?

Shanea (01:18:27):
people want to get married, or I know a lot of
women.
They idolize marriage and sothey think any marriage is God
ordained and they idolizemarriage.

Walter (01:18:35):
And so they think any marriage is God ordained, and
that's not true.
No, it's not.
Just because someone beentogether for 30 years or
whatever, that doesn't mean thatmarriage is designed by God.
That does not mean that that'smarriage goals.

Shanea (01:18:45):
Just because they got married.

Walter (01:18:46):
in general, no, and they stayed married because you
don't know what they're goingthrough.
Yeah.
And so in conclusion, I'm goingto read this God's design for
intimacy is rooted in openness,trust and a covenantal union
when two become one in him first.
Let me say that again, wheretwo become one in him first.

(01:19:08):
So, from an individualisticperspective, you become one with
God first.
Yeah.
Then with each other.
Yeah.
Recognizing and rejecting theenemy's counterfeit centered on
lust and self-gratificationprotects our ability to

(01:19:31):
experience true intimacy, as Godintended.

Shanea (01:19:43):
It is very hard for you to experience intimacy in a
relationship that was built offlust.
Yes, sorry, yes.

Walter (01:19:49):
That's why you get in these relationships and you're
missing something.
Yes, or you get in theserelationships and it never seems
like it's enough.
You have men that'sconsistently cheating women as
well as consistently cheating.
Your eyes are always wondering.
You can't even enjoy yourself.

Shanea (01:20:02):
Right or everything that you do is not enough.

Walter (01:20:04):
Yes, you got to have the best body.
You have to have the best ofthis Women.
You're so focused he's evenfocused.
Well, you got to be in the gym.
You got to look like this.
You got to do that.
Vice versa, you got to havethis Women.
You got to have this amount ofmoney he has to have this type
of car he has to have this typeof house.
It's self-gratification on bothends.
It's not God yeah.

Shanea (01:20:26):
That's not intimacy.
It's something that's going tomake me comfortable, make me
feel safe.

Walter (01:20:30):
Yes, so we talked about a lot, hopefully, this was a
blessing to you.

Shanea (01:20:37):
Hopefully you learned something you got some type of
revelation.

Walter (01:20:42):
I'll let you in babe.

Shanea (01:20:44):
Yeah, so, but we appreciate you guys for tuning
in.
Hopefully you stayed to the end.
We thank you, and thank you forsupporting us, and hopefully
you get to watch the rest of theepisodes.
They kind of tie into eachother.

Walter (01:20:58):
Yes, it build up.

Shanea (01:20:59):
Yeah, well, I mean, that's it.
You guys stay blessed.
Hit us up in the comments.
Let us know your experiences,feelings, thoughts, anything
that you've gone through.
If this resonates with you,maybe your testimony will be
helpful to someone else thatsees this video in the comments.

Walter (01:21:21):
so yeah, comment like share it if it's something
that's really touching you.
Subscribe and subscribe to be apart of the community that God
is using us to build.
Yeah.
So be blessed, and we will seeyou all on next week's episode.
That's it.
That's it All right, bye, bye.