January 8, 2025 • 30 mins
Want to heal past wounds, manifest your desires, and live more authentically? Bestselling author and spiritual teacher Gabby Bernstein shares powerful insights from her latest book, “Self Help,” and introduces us to her transformative system based on Internal Family Systems (IFS). Through a practical, compassionate four-step process, Gabby walks Danielle and Simone (and listeners) through connecting with the protector parts of ourselves, offering clarity, self-compassion, and a deeper connection to our inner wisdom.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey Bessies, Hello Sunshine. Today on the bright Side, we're
joined by best selling author Gabby Bernstein. She's here to
help us kick off twenty twenty five with purpose and positivity.
She'll be sharing insights from her brand new book self Help,
plus tips on how to set intentions, find balance, and
make this your.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Best year yet. So if you've been curious.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
About manifestation, today is the show for you. It's Wednesday,
January eighth. I'm Danielle Robe.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side
from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together
to share women's stories, laugh, learn, and brighten your day.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Okay, we're starting today's show out with a bang because
we have a very exciting announcement. Are you ready for
January's Reese's Book Club book?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Are you ready, Simone? Yes? Okay?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
It is The Three Lives of Kate k by Kate Fagan.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Yes, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This book tells the secret history of fictitious author Kate Ka,
the writer behind a best selling trilogy that no one
has ever met.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And this is Kate Fagan's first novel. She started her
career as a sports journalist and has published a number
of nonfiction books about the sports world.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
And as always, we will be hosting Kate Fagan here
on the bright Side later this month, so keep your
eyes out for that conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Today, we'll be talking to another fantastic author, somebody whose
name you might be familiar with. Gabby Bernstein is here
and her mission is to help people transform their lives
by empowering them to connect with their inner guidance, to
heal from past wounds, and manifest their desires through spirituality,
self awareness, and practical tools.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Simone, I know you like the practical part.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And Gabby is a motivational speaker, a best selling author,
and a spiritual teacher. And what I love about Gabby's
work is she says it's accessible to everyone.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah, this is actually her tenth book. You may have
read her other books like The Universe Has Your Back
and Super Attractor. This book is called self Help, and
I think that's such an interesting title, Danielle, because it's
on its face, it's so generic. You would think there
have been thousands of books entitled self help. But she
says that that was actually intentional to make sure that
(02:14):
this book reached the people who are really deliberate about
optimizing and changing their lives. I really really enjoyed this book.
I found it to be so practical, as you mentioned, Danielle,
and I've actually been doing some of the check ins
that she talks about in this book to cultivate more
curiosity and compassion with yourself. So I just think this
(02:34):
book is like a really powerful way to start the
new year, which is why we're so happy to welcome
Gabby to the show.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
She's really a lot of people's first touch points with
manifestation and self work. So I love that you mentioned
the title because I think the titles of all of
her books sort of are an invitation. They're very much
welcoming you and meeting you exactly where you're at.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's really her superpower. Well let's go ahead
and bring her in. Gabby Bernstein, Welcome to the bright Side.
Thanks guys, so good to be here.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
We're so happy to have you.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Thanks. Gabby.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You are such a force. You have guided millions toward
their best selves. And now just when we thought you
couldn't enlighten us more, you are back with a brand
new book entitled self Help. You've written extensively about manifesting,
about recovering from trauma and self love. But this book
really pinpoints a specific type of therapy called internal family systems.
(03:32):
Would you tell us the core principle of the internal
family system?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:36):
And you know, it is a little bit of a
detour this book, because this is my tenth book, by
the way, and I think that I've said most of
my books, I've written all of my books, I've written
for myself first, but this one I wrote for the
reader first, because it's based on a therapy called internal
family systems therapy. That it's a therapy I practiced in
my own life, went on to get trained in become
(03:58):
a practitioner in, and it was so deeply healed and
moved by it and befriended the founder of it, that
I knew it was my calling to demystify it and
democratize it. And so that's what I've done through this book,
And I've taken a therapy and turned it into a
self help practice. So the self help practice inside this
(04:19):
book is informed by internal family systems therapy IFS, and
it has nothing to do with your external family, not nothing,
but it's really about your inner family of all these
different aspects and parts of ourselves, and so we all
have these forms of protection mechanisms. Maybe you've had an
experience where you've done something very extreme and you walked
away and I don't know what happened. Something took over,
(04:41):
a part of me took over. That way, we define
these patterns, behaviors, and sometimes even belief systems are what
in ifs we would call protector parts protection mechanisms. And
we often live our lives in these very protective ways,
and so we have these protection mechanisms called protector parts,
(05:02):
and we have to ask ourselves, well, who are these
protectors protecting? And these protectors are protecting Actually, very very
young experiences, young child parts of us. At young ages,
we all experienced trauma, big t or small tea, no
matter how big the trauma was. We experienced things as
children that we could not process, and we very likely
(05:23):
did not have a parent that was able to help
us process those big experiences. So, those big experiences of
feeling shame or inadequacy, or feeling unlovable or not good
enough for in some cases terror and fear were so
big for our little child brains that we said, I'm
never going to feel that again, and we exiled those feelings,
and we built up these protection mechanisms, and we've been
(05:45):
living in these protection mechanisms. Wow, and these protectors are
protecting those exiled feelings, are protecting us from feeling those
exiled feelings.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Okay, I want to unpack our protectors are exiled parts arts,
But first I want you to take us back to
your breakthrough with IFS, because it's clear that it changed
your life. How did it change you and influence the
message up this book?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Well, the beauty of IFS is that we have all
these protectors, but we also have what's called self. And
self is this resourced, undamaged, creative, calm, connected presence. And
we might call it the God within us, or the
spirit within us, or the creative force within us. And
in practicing IFS in my own therapy, I started to
(06:33):
notice this new energy begin to emerge inside of me,
this energy of creativity, this energy of calmness, and I
started to notice that I could actually self soothe. And
around twenty twenty, I was watching a YouTube video with
an interview of this man, doctor Richard Schwartz, and he
was talking about this therapy that he invented. And I
didn't know that I'd been doing IFS therapy with my
(06:55):
therapist for all these years, and I had no idea
that this was what I was doing. And I hear
him talking about it, and I'm like, oh my god,
that's the therapy I've been doing this whole time. And
right away I knew that I wanted to learn everything
I could from this man. So I read every book,
I listened to every interview. In twenty twenty one, I
started my own podcast and he was the third person
I interviewed on the show. And from the moment that
(07:17):
I met him on that zoom, it was just an
instant friendship, instant connection. And I said to him, you know,
I'm super psychic. I know that I'm supposed to bring
this message into the world and democratize this work. I
just feel that in my body. And he said, I
feel that too, and I'm going to recommend that you
definitely do the practitioner training. Well, I'm not a therapist.
(07:38):
I am trained in IFS. Getting trained in it actually
allowed me to really start doing it more and more
on myself and then allowed me to develop this four
step practice, which is not IFS. It's a self help
practice that's informed by ifs okay.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Do you want to share the four steps, Let's do it.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Before where we get into the four steps, I want
to let you understand what happens in these steps is
that when we offer compassion and curiosity and connection to
these parts, self emerges and self with a capital S
is these qualities of that love within us. It's like
an internal parent, an inner healer. Self is like the
(08:20):
God energy, the love energy, the Buddha nature, the spirit
within us, the intuition, and self has these qualities of
curiosity and connection, creativity, compassion, confidence, courage. We have this
self in us. And so when we do these four
steps in this practice, we start to allow these protectors
(08:43):
to soften and the self energy emerges. And I'll stop
talking about it and let you experience it. Okay. So
both of you, Danielle and Simone and listeners think of
a protector part. And so you might not know yet
or be able to label that yet. So maybe you
have anxiety, maybe you have a belief on repeat that's
(09:04):
you know, I'm not good enough, or I got to
people please to feel safe, or I got to stay
in control to feel safe for me. One is if
I'm not doing it, nobody else will. What are those
stories that you repurpose, the habits that you have that
might feel extreme, and so thinking about that protection mechanism
that might be up in your life that's sort of
managing your world. Are you guys clear on your protectors
(09:26):
that you'd check in with?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yes, I'm thinking about mine. I'm running out of time.
I'm running out of time. Okay, running out of time.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
And the other way you mighte be able to get
to this protectors. You might want to think for yourself, Okay,
what is it that I want to manifest and attract
in my life? And then when you think about that that,
the next question would be, well, what's blocking it? What
belief is blocking it? That's a protector? Okay, So listeners,
Danielle Simone, let's do the first step. I have a
(10:00):
little bit of awareness that there's a protector in our
life that's running the show. And the first step is
to choose to check in with that aspect of ourselves. Okay,
that's step one. So choosing to check in means focusing
your attention inward towards that part of you. Now, then
we can all do this together. And sometimes when you
do this, you might want to close your eyes whatever
(10:20):
feels safe for you. If you're driving, do not close
your eyes. The second step, once you've focused your attention
inward with choosing to check in, the second step is
to become curious about that part of yourself and so
first noticing where it is in your body and giving
it some focus and attention. So just noticing where it
(10:41):
is physically, and then asking the part of you, are
there any thoughts or feelings or sensations that it wants
to reveal, any images, stories, thoughts? What does it want
to reveal to you? What do you know about it?
(11:02):
And then you might ask that part how long have
you been around? If I ask you, guys, how long
have those parts been around? What would they say? What
the parts say?
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Since I can remember, since I can remember twenty years,
twenty years, yeah, long time, yeah, And so you feel
you've got a little connection to those parts right now
it sounds like you do.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
The third step is to compassionately connect to the part
and ask the part right now, what do you need?
And what are you hearing? Simon and Danielle, what do
you guys hear when you ask the part what does
it need?
Speaker 3 (11:40):
The first word that popped into my mind is protection,
and I don't know what to make of that.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Okay, okay, whatever it needs, we'll hear it.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I heard my dad's voice.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Do you want to hear you need your dad's voice? Beautiful?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
And now that you have a little connection to this part,
you've listened to what it needs. Let it know that
you heard what it needs. Okay, maybe place your hand
on your heart and just give it a little breath,
Just give it some presents. Let that go, Let it
know you're here. And now check in the fourth step,
(12:19):
check for the sea qualities of self. So, how do you,
guys feel right now?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Much calmer than when I came into our conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
I feel calm too, less worry, less unrest.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Do you have some clarity guys about the part you
feel little bit more clarity?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (12:40):
Yeah? Do you feel a little bit more connected to it?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I do, m.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Yeah, And so these are the sea qualities we'll check for.
Do I feel a little bit more creative right now?
Do I feel curious to get to know more about
this part of myself? You know, just noticing? Do I
feel compassed to you? Guys? Feel passion for that part
of these parts of yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, it's amazing how instantly transformative.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Just a microdose of compassionists when we tell it, the
micro dose of compassion is exactly right, it's really a
micro dose of self. Yeah. I love that you just
defined it like that, because I've been calling it like
a molecule of self, and it's like a microdose because
it's not like we're going to wake up and just
do this one thing and have this blast of self
(13:27):
cakeover and these parts that have been around for decades
are going to just disappear. Nor do we want that, right,
that would be too jarring for our system, because these
are protection mechanisms that have been in place for decades
and we need them. They have a very supportive role
in our world, right they're keeping us safe. But we
(13:48):
want to help them feel less extreme. And so I
want to give an example. These protectors actually have had
good roles, right, Like my controller wrote ten books in
fourteen years. Okay, So I don't want to stop her
from doing her great work. I just want to help
her feel more calm so that she can do her
(14:09):
great work. Show up with the desire to keep things
in order and do all the great things she does,
but in a less extreme way.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I really appreciate how tangible and practical this is, Gabby,
because if we hear you know, be kind to yourself,
be kind to yourself. But this just feels like something
actionable that I can do.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
It is actionable, and I think that that is actually
why I feel so proud to be able to demystify
this method that has been so profound in my life.
So the fact that you can identify it as simple,
simone is such a privilege to hear you say that,
because that was my mission.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Here. You're saying, this book self help releases negative patterns,
experience your true power, and manifest your dreams. And that
last part, I think is really what you are so
well known for, is the manifestation part of this. And
so I almost feel like this book was like a
(15:09):
backtrack in a really helpful workshop way to get to
the manifestation part and become the person who can manifest.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
You nailed it, You're smiling.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
Yeah, that feels nailed, nailed it, And so unburdening the
beliefs that are manifesting what we don't want allows us
to return to self and manifest what we do want.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
We have to take a short break, but we'll be
right back with Gabby Bernstein. We're back with Gabby Bernstein.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Gabby, this whole time as we've been talking, I keep
clinging to this word integration or psychological wholeness, which for
me is the real gift that you're giving readers with
this book. And I'm curious what that trait looks like
when it's personified in real life. You have rubbed shoulders
with some of the brightest, most soulful minds on this planet,
(16:09):
and I want to know who are the most integrated
people you've ever met, and why are they different.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
The most integrated person I know is doctor Richard Swartz,
who founded IFS. The reason I'll say that is because
he's done so much parts work that his self energy
is so present. And he's a seventy four ish year
old man, but when I'm with him, it feels like
I'm with like a fourteen year old boy. So when
I see people in integration, what it is I'm seeing
is self. I'm seeing that childlike nature, that joy, that presence,
(16:42):
that innocence. Really, because what happens when you're integrated is
that you actually return these parts return to their natural roles,
and the natural roles are children. We were forced into
adult roles as children to protect ourselves from these fears,
and when we actually unburdened those adult roles, we can
return to our natural role, which is a childlike state.
(17:06):
This book is going to help so many people. And
I also think parents' moms would really benefit from this
because we can be so punishing to certain parts of ourselves,
and that reparenting work is so key when you become
a parent. How has this practice of ifs influenced your
(17:27):
own parenting?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:28):
I use it every day with my child. And you know,
just last night, I was with my son in those
like magic moments right before bed and that's when all
the truth comes out.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
The truth telling happens at like eight oh five pm,
when he's five minutes past his bedtime and we're lying
there and I'm just started checking in with him and
I said something like about he has a ration in
his arm and he was itching and I was like, oh,
I'm such a bad mommy.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
I forgot to put that cream on your arm. And
he said, why did you say you were a bad mommy?
And I was like, oh, I didn't mean, and I
was just sort of saying and he's he's like, well,
you know, you're not a bad mommy, but you're a
mommy that's working too hard. Your brain is exploding mommy,
because he's hearing me say these things, you know, like
my brain is just like because I'm dealing with this part.
This part is so controlling, and so it's coming up
and it's coming out and he's witnessing it. And so
(18:13):
instead of saying like no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine,
I used the steps. I said, oh, yeah, let's check
in with that. You know that feels hard for you? Huh, Like,
is it hard that mommy's been a little bit stressed
out lately, or you know your your mommy's has to
travel sometimes you notice that, they said. I got curious
and I was like, what does that feel like for you?
And he's like, I feel I feel like nervous and mad.
(18:34):
And I was like, okay, yeah, I get that, and
and I got and I said, you know, how long
have you been feeling that way? He's like, oh, I
feel like this, So what does that mean to you?
Just curiosity, just asking him questions what do you know
about that? And then I said to him what do
you need? And he said, I need you to be around, Mommy,
I need you to be around. They said, you know what, Ollie,
(18:55):
I'm going to do my best to look at my
schedule tomorrow and see what I can do to have
more time around and to do my best right now
at this time. And I'm going to do that. And
I said, how do you feel? And he said, I
feel calmer. And I didn't even have to ask how
he felt. I could see that we were connected, and
I knew that he felt my self energy, he felt
(19:16):
my curiosity, felt my calmness, he felt my compassion. We
felt connected. He felt clear. Oh, Mommy heard me. Mommy's
checking in with me. Mommy is compassionate towards my feelings.
Mommy is clear about my needs. Mommy is connected to me.
She is calm with me. Because you know what, with
our kids, we have to be the self for them.
(19:40):
They don't have access to it, so we have to
be it for them. And if we can be it
for them, just like I did that last night, then
it may not be that I'm going to be around
you every single day because I gotta travel, but I
will be the mother that can say I was the
self energy for him when he needed it. And so
are we going to be perfect parents. A We're gonna
still have to go to work, or we're gonna still
(20:01):
have to show up for our lives. We're gonna do
things that are disappointing. One hundred percent we will. But
we are going to be a self led parent with
self energy that's present so that these children know that
a compassionate, calm, connected, caring, clear presence is in their life.
And with that knowing those burdens of parts will far
(20:23):
less likely, it be far less extreme because by experiencing
our self energy, they recognize their own.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I can't wait to see who Ali becomes when he
grows up. He is going to be the most healed, elevated,
integrated little man.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Well, you know, I hope so. But you know, it
doesn't matter if you've got Gabby Burns seen as your
mom or whoever is your mom. You're in the world
right This is a world of burdens. But I will
say this for those of us that are mom's dads
listening to this, committed to our personal development, committed to
our spiritual growth, we are absolutely importing the evolution of
(21:01):
a human If we're doing that work on ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Period.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
One of my favorite quotes from my mom is that
lessons are caught, not taught, and I really believe that.
So it sounds like you're exemplifying it for him.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
We're taking one more break, but don't go anywhere. We'll
be back with more from Gabby Bernstein. And we're back.
We have to end on the topic of manifestation. Even
though it's not the core premise of this book necessarily,
it is still a Gabby Bernstein banger, So be the.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Core promise of this book because we manifest what we believe.
We're manifesting a lot of shit in our life that
we don't want because our beliefs are really burdened. And
when we heal our beliefs, we start to manifest what
we really want.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Okay, Gabby, can I get real with you about manifestation
a moment. So I love the idea of manifesting our beliefs,
that we manifest what we believe. I think that's so true,
and I've seen my life change in huge ways once
I realized that I could harness my thoughts for good. However,
(22:14):
I struggle with the current cultural narrative around manifestation, which
is manifest it and it comes true if you think
about it enough, if you dwell on it enough, if
you focus on it enough, it'll come true. And that
just in my personal experience, that's not true. You can
totally get disappointed by manifestation.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
What do you do with that? Like, what do you
do when someone who like.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Me, has their doubts about it comes to you, like,
how do I navigate that while still reaping the benefits
of it?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
You know, at first say like don't look for your
manifesting tips on TikTok okay. And it's cool that it's
in the zeitgeist, and it's cool that it's popularized because
wherever people are getting the guidance to lean towards more
positive thinking is a beautiful thing, it really is. But
what it means to genuinely manifest is that you manifest
(23:06):
who you are. And real manifesting means that you have
clarity about what it is that you desire and that
you have the willingness to do whatever it takes to
undo the blocks to the presence of that desire. And
some of us may enter this conversation not from the
self help perspective. They might say, Okay, you know I
(23:28):
want to start. I want to start simple. Okay, well
it's simple. A simple practice would be to just in
my book Super Attractor, witness the beliefs that are blocking
your manifestations and use the choose again method right, which
is to witness the belief, notice how it makes you feel,
forgive yourself for having that thought, and choose again. And
choosing again is choosing the next best thought. Choosing again
(23:50):
is okay, well, I know that there's a book called
self help that can help me unpack this thought more.
Or I can listen to that episode with Danielle and
Simone and that will help me. Or I actually have
a lot of resources that I need right now to
grow here in this area or whatever it is. And
we reach for the next best feeling thought. And we
reach for the next best feeling thought, because manifesting is
about aligning, and manifesting is about being in an energetic,
(24:14):
vibrational match to what it is that you desire. And
so if we're walking around with a belief that makes
us feel really uncertain or really unsettled or really scared,
then we're not in alignment with what we desire, and
we're blocking the manifestation. So the answer people want is
the quick fix. Someone they want the quick fix, the
(24:37):
quick fix. Maybe you'll have a little like hint of
you know, oh the universes around me and I feel
that and that's cool and that will change things. But
if you don't heal the core beliefs, whatever you attract
into your life won't last.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yabby, I met you during a really hard time in
my life, and I was really nervous going into our
conversation because I know how spiritually connected you are, and
I thought, is she going to be able to tell?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
She's gonna know.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
We're all going through difficult times in our life, but
there's seasons, right, there's moments that are harder than others.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, And in our conversation, I was at the precipice
of understanding and trying to understand manifestation, trying to read
your books, and I couldn't quite grasp it. And you
said something in our conversation that made it click for me.
You said, the fastest way to achieve success in every
area of life is to assume the energy of joy.
(25:37):
So if you do not know where to start, if
you are new to manifesting. I'm wondering, especially as we're
going into this new year, can you share or elaborate
on why joy is such a specific factor in this equation.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Yeah, if you're like, I don't know if I'm ready
to do a big self help book, or I don't
know if I'm ready for therapy, or I don't know
if I can and even resonate with the manifesting book
quite yet, the best piece of advice is to go
do more of what brings you joy, and in those
moments where joy, so it could be cooking, could be creating,
(26:14):
could be spending time with certain friends, do more of
what brings you joy. Because when you're in joy, you're
connecting to self, and self is what manifests.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
What Danielle's not telling you is that her word for
twenty twenty five is joy.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
It is what I will recommend to you, please, because
you showed interest and desire to do self help. Is
that when you notice yourself pushing and trying and controlling,
do the check in and then go do something that
brings you joy.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Interesting, Okay, I want to put that on the Yeah,
tell me.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Because when we're in these places where we're kind of
like in our part, right, and it sounds like for
you it's like overdoing or over overworking, or whatever it
might be. For all of us we have them. We
might want to go like, well, let me go do
something joyful and just go do something over it. Right, Yes,
(27:17):
that's a better habit than getting stuck in the negative,
one hundred percent better habit. But the real flex, the
real manifesting flex, the real next level of this, which
I know you asked for, is to check in with
the part that feels like it needs to do do
do do do? Do one minute with it. Choose to
check in, be curious, ask what it needs to compassionate
(27:39):
connection and check for the seas, get back to a
little bit more self energy, and then go do something fun.
Then do bring more joy.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know, this is incredibly helpful because the idea of
just trying to go do something joyful is intimidating to
me almost and doesn't feel it even possible. Like sometimes
when you're in work mode, you can't just go like
jump in the ocean.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
You know, no you can't. So the check in is
the step I was missing.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
The work mode is a protector, so you don't want
to override the protector. You check in with the protector
and ease it out a bit. You get a little
self energy and from that place you say, Okay, can
I go jump in the ocean now? Or can I
just go for a walk right now? Can I do
something different right now?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Do you have a word of the year creativity? Ooh,
I'm excited to see how that manifests.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Oh girl, it's coming bigger than ever. I'm mean, I'm
actually getting teary when I say it.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Why is it making you emotional?
Speaker 5 (28:43):
Because I've felt very disconnected from it for a while.
The belief if I don't do it, nobody else will
has really been taking over, which is very misaligned with
that creative force. And so as a result of taking
care of that little girl that try to do it
all to make sure everything's done, I'm taking care of her,
and then in taking care of her and getting her
needs met, which is getting more help, means I have
(29:06):
more space.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
To be creative, fantastic. I think creativity is eternally linked
to the inner child.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Whenever I think about.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
It self right and self self is what the inner
child is truly meant to be.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
In Thanks, for always sharing so much of yourself.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Gabby, I love you, guys. Thank you for making me
cry at the end here.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
We love you, Thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Gabby Bernstein is the author of self help and the
host of the Dear Gabby podcast. You can find all
her work at Gabbybernstein dot com.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That's it for today's show.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Tomorrow, we're talking to the founder and executive chair of
Bumble about how to make the perfect dating profile.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
We can't wait to talk with Whitney wolf Heard.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Join the conversation using hash the bright Side and connect
with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
and at the bright Side Pod on TikTok Oh, and
feel free to tag us at simone Voice and at
danielle Robe.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.
Hey Bessies, Hello Sunshine. Today on the bright Side, we're
joined by best selling author Gabby Bernstein. She's here to
help us kick off twenty twenty five with purpose and positivity.
She'll be sharing insights from her brand new book self Help,
plus tips on how to set intentions, find balance, and
make this your.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Best year yet. So if you've been curious.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
About manifestation, today is the show for you. It's Wednesday,
January eighth. I'm Danielle Robe.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side
from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together
to share women's stories, laugh, learn, and brighten your day.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Okay, we're starting today's show out with a bang because
we have a very exciting announcement. Are you ready for
January's Reese's Book Club book?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Are you ready, Simone? Yes? Okay?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
It is The Three Lives of Kate k by Kate Fagan.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Yes, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This book tells the secret history of fictitious author Kate Ka,
the writer behind a best selling trilogy that no one
has ever met.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And this is Kate Fagan's first novel. She started her
career as a sports journalist and has published a number
of nonfiction books about the sports world.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
And as always, we will be hosting Kate Fagan here
on the bright Side later this month, so keep your
eyes out for that conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Today, we'll be talking to another fantastic author, somebody whose
name you might be familiar with. Gabby Bernstein is here
and her mission is to help people transform their lives
by empowering them to connect with their inner guidance, to
heal from past wounds, and manifest their desires through spirituality,
self awareness, and practical tools.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Simone, I know you like the practical part.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And Gabby is a motivational speaker, a best selling author,
and a spiritual teacher. And what I love about Gabby's
work is she says it's accessible to everyone.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah, this is actually her tenth book. You may have
read her other books like The Universe Has Your Back
and Super Attractor. This book is called self Help, and
I think that's such an interesting title, Danielle, because it's
on its face, it's so generic. You would think there
have been thousands of books entitled self help. But she
says that that was actually intentional to make sure that
(02:14):
this book reached the people who are really deliberate about
optimizing and changing their lives. I really really enjoyed this book.
I found it to be so practical, as you mentioned, Danielle,
and I've actually been doing some of the check ins
that she talks about in this book to cultivate more
curiosity and compassion with yourself. So I just think this
(02:34):
book is like a really powerful way to start the
new year, which is why we're so happy to welcome
Gabby to the show.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
She's really a lot of people's first touch points with
manifestation and self work. So I love that you mentioned
the title because I think the titles of all of
her books sort of are an invitation. They're very much
welcoming you and meeting you exactly where you're at.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's really her superpower. Well let's go ahead
and bring her in. Gabby Bernstein, Welcome to the bright Side.
Thanks guys, so good to be here.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
We're so happy to have you.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Thanks. Gabby.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You are such a force. You have guided millions toward
their best selves. And now just when we thought you
couldn't enlighten us more, you are back with a brand
new book entitled self Help. You've written extensively about manifesting,
about recovering from trauma and self love. But this book
really pinpoints a specific type of therapy called internal family systems.
(03:32):
Would you tell us the core principle of the internal
family system?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:36):
And you know, it is a little bit of a
detour this book, because this is my tenth book, by
the way, and I think that I've said most of
my books, I've written all of my books, I've written
for myself first, but this one I wrote for the
reader first, because it's based on a therapy called internal
family systems therapy. That it's a therapy I practiced in
my own life, went on to get trained in become
(03:58):
a practitioner in, and it was so deeply healed and
moved by it and befriended the founder of it, that
I knew it was my calling to demystify it and
democratize it. And so that's what I've done through this book,
And I've taken a therapy and turned it into a
self help practice. So the self help practice inside this
(04:19):
book is informed by internal family systems therapy IFS, and
it has nothing to do with your external family, not nothing,
but it's really about your inner family of all these
different aspects and parts of ourselves, and so we all
have these forms of protection mechanisms. Maybe you've had an
experience where you've done something very extreme and you walked
away and I don't know what happened. Something took over,
(04:41):
a part of me took over. That way, we define
these patterns, behaviors, and sometimes even belief systems are what
in ifs we would call protector parts protection mechanisms. And
we often live our lives in these very protective ways,
and so we have these protection mechanisms called protector parts,
(05:02):
and we have to ask ourselves, well, who are these
protectors protecting? And these protectors are protecting Actually, very very
young experiences, young child parts of us. At young ages,
we all experienced trauma, big t or small tea, no
matter how big the trauma was. We experienced things as
children that we could not process, and we very likely
(05:23):
did not have a parent that was able to help
us process those big experiences. So, those big experiences of
feeling shame or inadequacy, or feeling unlovable or not good
enough for in some cases terror and fear were so
big for our little child brains that we said, I'm
never going to feel that again, and we exiled those feelings,
and we built up these protection mechanisms, and we've been
(05:45):
living in these protection mechanisms. Wow, and these protectors are
protecting those exiled feelings, are protecting us from feeling those
exiled feelings.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Okay, I want to unpack our protectors are exiled parts arts,
But first I want you to take us back to
your breakthrough with IFS, because it's clear that it changed
your life. How did it change you and influence the
message up this book?
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Well, the beauty of IFS is that we have all
these protectors, but we also have what's called self. And
self is this resourced, undamaged, creative, calm, connected presence. And
we might call it the God within us, or the
spirit within us, or the creative force within us. And
in practicing IFS in my own therapy, I started to
(06:33):
notice this new energy begin to emerge inside of me,
this energy of creativity, this energy of calmness, and I
started to notice that I could actually self soothe. And
around twenty twenty, I was watching a YouTube video with
an interview of this man, doctor Richard Schwartz, and he
was talking about this therapy that he invented. And I
didn't know that I'd been doing IFS therapy with my
(06:55):
therapist for all these years, and I had no idea
that this was what I was doing. And I hear
him talking about it, and I'm like, oh my god,
that's the therapy I've been doing this whole time. And
right away I knew that I wanted to learn everything
I could from this man. So I read every book,
I listened to every interview. In twenty twenty one, I
started my own podcast and he was the third person
I interviewed on the show. And from the moment that
(07:17):
I met him on that zoom, it was just an
instant friendship, instant connection. And I said to him, you know,
I'm super psychic. I know that I'm supposed to bring
this message into the world and democratize this work. I
just feel that in my body. And he said, I
feel that too, and I'm going to recommend that you
definitely do the practitioner training. Well, I'm not a therapist.
(07:38):
I am trained in IFS. Getting trained in it actually
allowed me to really start doing it more and more
on myself and then allowed me to develop this four
step practice, which is not IFS. It's a self help
practice that's informed by ifs okay.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Do you want to share the four steps, Let's do it.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Before where we get into the four steps, I want
to let you understand what happens in these steps is
that when we offer compassion and curiosity and connection to
these parts, self emerges and self with a capital S
is these qualities of that love within us. It's like
an internal parent, an inner healer. Self is like the
(08:20):
God energy, the love energy, the Buddha nature, the spirit
within us, the intuition, and self has these qualities of
curiosity and connection, creativity, compassion, confidence, courage. We have this
self in us. And so when we do these four
steps in this practice, we start to allow these protectors
(08:43):
to soften and the self energy emerges. And I'll stop
talking about it and let you experience it. Okay. So
both of you, Danielle and Simone and listeners think of
a protector part. And so you might not know yet
or be able to label that yet. So maybe you
have anxiety, maybe you have a belief on repeat that's
(09:04):
you know, I'm not good enough, or I got to
people please to feel safe, or I got to stay
in control to feel safe for me. One is if
I'm not doing it, nobody else will. What are those
stories that you repurpose, the habits that you have that
might feel extreme, and so thinking about that protection mechanism
that might be up in your life that's sort of
managing your world. Are you guys clear on your protectors
(09:26):
that you'd check in with?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yes, I'm thinking about mine. I'm running out of time.
I'm running out of time. Okay, running out of time.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
And the other way you mighte be able to get
to this protectors. You might want to think for yourself, Okay,
what is it that I want to manifest and attract
in my life? And then when you think about that that,
the next question would be, well, what's blocking it? What
belief is blocking it? That's a protector? Okay, So listeners,
Danielle Simone, let's do the first step. I have a
(10:00):
little bit of awareness that there's a protector in our
life that's running the show. And the first step is
to choose to check in with that aspect of ourselves. Okay,
that's step one. So choosing to check in means focusing
your attention inward towards that part of you. Now, then
we can all do this together. And sometimes when you
do this, you might want to close your eyes whatever
(10:20):
feels safe for you. If you're driving, do not close
your eyes. The second step, once you've focused your attention
inward with choosing to check in, the second step is
to become curious about that part of yourself and so
first noticing where it is in your body and giving
it some focus and attention. So just noticing where it
(10:41):
is physically, and then asking the part of you, are
there any thoughts or feelings or sensations that it wants
to reveal, any images, stories, thoughts? What does it want
to reveal to you? What do you know about it?
(11:02):
And then you might ask that part how long have
you been around? If I ask you, guys, how long
have those parts been around? What would they say? What
the parts say?
Speaker 6 (11:11):
Since I can remember, since I can remember twenty years,
twenty years, yeah, long time, yeah, And so you feel
you've got a little connection to those parts right now
it sounds like you do.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
The third step is to compassionately connect to the part
and ask the part right now, what do you need?
And what are you hearing? Simon and Danielle, what do
you guys hear when you ask the part what does
it need?
Speaker 3 (11:40):
The first word that popped into my mind is protection,
and I don't know what to make of that.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
Okay, okay, whatever it needs, we'll hear it.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I heard my dad's voice.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Do you want to hear you need your dad's voice? Beautiful?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
And now that you have a little connection to this part,
you've listened to what it needs. Let it know that
you heard what it needs. Okay, maybe place your hand
on your heart and just give it a little breath,
Just give it some presents. Let that go, Let it
know you're here. And now check in the fourth step,
(12:19):
check for the sea qualities of self. So, how do you,
guys feel right now?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Much calmer than when I came into our conversation.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
I feel calm too, less worry, less unrest.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
Do you have some clarity guys about the part you
feel little bit more clarity?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (12:40):
Yeah? Do you feel a little bit more connected to it?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I do, m.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Yeah, And so these are the sea qualities we'll check for.
Do I feel a little bit more creative right now?
Do I feel curious to get to know more about
this part of myself? You know, just noticing? Do I
feel compassed to you? Guys? Feel passion for that part
of these parts of yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah, it's amazing how instantly transformative.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Just a microdose of compassionists when we tell it, the
micro dose of compassion is exactly right, it's really a
micro dose of self. Yeah. I love that you just
defined it like that, because I've been calling it like
a molecule of self, and it's like a microdose because
it's not like we're going to wake up and just
do this one thing and have this blast of self
(13:27):
cakeover and these parts that have been around for decades
are going to just disappear. Nor do we want that, right,
that would be too jarring for our system, because these
are protection mechanisms that have been in place for decades
and we need them. They have a very supportive role
in our world, right they're keeping us safe. But we
(13:48):
want to help them feel less extreme. And so I
want to give an example. These protectors actually have had
good roles, right, Like my controller wrote ten books in
fourteen years. Okay, So I don't want to stop her
from doing her great work. I just want to help
her feel more calm so that she can do her
(14:09):
great work. Show up with the desire to keep things
in order and do all the great things she does,
but in a less extreme way.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I really appreciate how tangible and practical this is, Gabby,
because if we hear you know, be kind to yourself,
be kind to yourself. But this just feels like something
actionable that I can do.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
It is actionable, and I think that that is actually
why I feel so proud to be able to demystify
this method that has been so profound in my life.
So the fact that you can identify it as simple,
simone is such a privilege to hear you say that,
because that was my mission.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Here. You're saying, this book self help releases negative patterns,
experience your true power, and manifest your dreams. And that
last part, I think is really what you are so
well known for, is the manifestation part of this. And
so I almost feel like this book was like a
(15:09):
backtrack in a really helpful workshop way to get to
the manifestation part and become the person who can manifest.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
You nailed it, You're smiling.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
Yeah, that feels nailed, nailed it, And so unburdening the
beliefs that are manifesting what we don't want allows us
to return to self and manifest what we do want.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
We have to take a short break, but we'll be
right back with Gabby Bernstein. We're back with Gabby Bernstein.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Gabby, this whole time as we've been talking, I keep
clinging to this word integration or psychological wholeness, which for
me is the real gift that you're giving readers with
this book. And I'm curious what that trait looks like
when it's personified in real life. You have rubbed shoulders
with some of the brightest, most soulful minds on this planet,
(16:09):
and I want to know who are the most integrated
people you've ever met, and why are they different.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
The most integrated person I know is doctor Richard Swartz,
who founded IFS. The reason I'll say that is because
he's done so much parts work that his self energy
is so present. And he's a seventy four ish year
old man, but when I'm with him, it feels like
I'm with like a fourteen year old boy. So when
I see people in integration, what it is I'm seeing
is self. I'm seeing that childlike nature, that joy, that presence,
(16:42):
that innocence. Really, because what happens when you're integrated is
that you actually return these parts return to their natural roles,
and the natural roles are children. We were forced into
adult roles as children to protect ourselves from these fears,
and when we actually unburdened those adult roles, we can
return to our natural role, which is a childlike state.
(17:06):
This book is going to help so many people. And
I also think parents' moms would really benefit from this
because we can be so punishing to certain parts of ourselves,
and that reparenting work is so key when you become
a parent. How has this practice of ifs influenced your
(17:27):
own parenting?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:28):
I use it every day with my child. And you know,
just last night, I was with my son in those
like magic moments right before bed and that's when all
the truth comes out.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
The truth telling happens at like eight oh five pm,
when he's five minutes past his bedtime and we're lying
there and I'm just started checking in with him and
I said something like about he has a ration in
his arm and he was itching and I was like, oh,
I'm such a bad mommy.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
I forgot to put that cream on your arm. And
he said, why did you say you were a bad mommy?
And I was like, oh, I didn't mean, and I
was just sort of saying and he's he's like, well,
you know, you're not a bad mommy, but you're a
mommy that's working too hard. Your brain is exploding mommy,
because he's hearing me say these things, you know, like
my brain is just like because I'm dealing with this part.
This part is so controlling, and so it's coming up
and it's coming out and he's witnessing it. And so
(18:13):
instead of saying like no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine,
I used the steps. I said, oh, yeah, let's check
in with that. You know that feels hard for you? Huh, Like,
is it hard that mommy's been a little bit stressed
out lately, or you know your your mommy's has to
travel sometimes you notice that, they said. I got curious
and I was like, what does that feel like for you?
And he's like, I feel I feel like nervous and mad.
(18:34):
And I was like, okay, yeah, I get that, and
and I got and I said, you know, how long
have you been feeling that way? He's like, oh, I
feel like this, So what does that mean to you?
Just curiosity, just asking him questions what do you know
about that? And then I said to him what do
you need? And he said, I need you to be around, Mommy,
I need you to be around. They said, you know what, Ollie,
(18:55):
I'm going to do my best to look at my
schedule tomorrow and see what I can do to have
more time around and to do my best right now
at this time. And I'm going to do that. And
I said, how do you feel? And he said, I
feel calmer. And I didn't even have to ask how
he felt. I could see that we were connected, and
I knew that he felt my self energy, he felt
(19:16):
my curiosity, felt my calmness, he felt my compassion. We
felt connected. He felt clear. Oh, Mommy heard me. Mommy's
checking in with me. Mommy is compassionate towards my feelings.
Mommy is clear about my needs. Mommy is connected to me.
She is calm with me. Because you know what, with
our kids, we have to be the self for them.
(19:40):
They don't have access to it, so we have to
be it for them. And if we can be it
for them, just like I did that last night, then
it may not be that I'm going to be around
you every single day because I gotta travel, but I
will be the mother that can say I was the
self energy for him when he needed it. And so
are we going to be perfect parents. A We're gonna
still have to go to work, or we're gonna still
(20:01):
have to show up for our lives. We're gonna do
things that are disappointing. One hundred percent we will. But
we are going to be a self led parent with
self energy that's present so that these children know that
a compassionate, calm, connected, caring, clear presence is in their life.
And with that knowing those burdens of parts will far
(20:23):
less likely, it be far less extreme because by experiencing
our self energy, they recognize their own.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I can't wait to see who Ali becomes when he
grows up. He is going to be the most healed, elevated,
integrated little man.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Well, you know, I hope so. But you know, it
doesn't matter if you've got Gabby Burns seen as your
mom or whoever is your mom. You're in the world
right This is a world of burdens. But I will
say this for those of us that are mom's dads
listening to this, committed to our personal development, committed to
our spiritual growth, we are absolutely importing the evolution of
(21:01):
a human If we're doing that work on ourselves.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Period.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
One of my favorite quotes from my mom is that
lessons are caught, not taught, and I really believe that.
So it sounds like you're exemplifying it for him.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (21:17):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
We're taking one more break, but don't go anywhere. We'll
be back with more from Gabby Bernstein. And we're back.
We have to end on the topic of manifestation. Even
though it's not the core premise of this book necessarily,
it is still a Gabby Bernstein banger, So be the.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Core promise of this book because we manifest what we believe.
We're manifesting a lot of shit in our life that
we don't want because our beliefs are really burdened. And
when we heal our beliefs, we start to manifest what
we really want.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Okay, Gabby, can I get real with you about manifestation
a moment. So I love the idea of manifesting our beliefs,
that we manifest what we believe. I think that's so true,
and I've seen my life change in huge ways once
I realized that I could harness my thoughts for good. However,
(22:14):
I struggle with the current cultural narrative around manifestation, which
is manifest it and it comes true if you think
about it enough, if you dwell on it enough, if
you focus on it enough, it'll come true. And that
just in my personal experience, that's not true. You can
totally get disappointed by manifestation.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
What do you do with that? Like, what do you
do when someone who like.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Me, has their doubts about it comes to you, like,
how do I navigate that while still reaping the benefits
of it?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
You know, at first say like don't look for your
manifesting tips on TikTok okay. And it's cool that it's
in the zeitgeist, and it's cool that it's popularized because
wherever people are getting the guidance to lean towards more
positive thinking is a beautiful thing, it really is. But
what it means to genuinely manifest is that you manifest
(23:06):
who you are. And real manifesting means that you have
clarity about what it is that you desire and that
you have the willingness to do whatever it takes to
undo the blocks to the presence of that desire. And
some of us may enter this conversation not from the
self help perspective. They might say, Okay, you know I
(23:28):
want to start. I want to start simple. Okay, well
it's simple. A simple practice would be to just in
my book Super Attractor, witness the beliefs that are blocking
your manifestations and use the choose again method right, which
is to witness the belief, notice how it makes you feel,
forgive yourself for having that thought, and choose again. And
choosing again is choosing the next best thought. Choosing again
(23:50):
is okay, well, I know that there's a book called
self help that can help me unpack this thought more.
Or I can listen to that episode with Danielle and
Simone and that will help me. Or I actually have
a lot of resources that I need right now to
grow here in this area or whatever it is. And
we reach for the next best feeling thought. And we
reach for the next best feeling thought, because manifesting is
about aligning, and manifesting is about being in an energetic,
(24:14):
vibrational match to what it is that you desire. And
so if we're walking around with a belief that makes
us feel really uncertain or really unsettled or really scared,
then we're not in alignment with what we desire, and
we're blocking the manifestation. So the answer people want is
the quick fix. Someone they want the quick fix, the
(24:37):
quick fix. Maybe you'll have a little like hint of
you know, oh the universes around me and I feel
that and that's cool and that will change things. But
if you don't heal the core beliefs, whatever you attract
into your life won't last.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yabby, I met you during a really hard time in
my life, and I was really nervous going into our
conversation because I know how spiritually connected you are, and
I thought, is she going to be able to tell?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
She's gonna know.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
We're all going through difficult times in our life, but
there's seasons, right, there's moments that are harder than others.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, And in our conversation, I was at the precipice
of understanding and trying to understand manifestation, trying to read
your books, and I couldn't quite grasp it. And you
said something in our conversation that made it click for me.
You said, the fastest way to achieve success in every
area of life is to assume the energy of joy.
(25:37):
So if you do not know where to start, if
you are new to manifesting. I'm wondering, especially as we're
going into this new year, can you share or elaborate
on why joy is such a specific factor in this equation.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Yeah, if you're like, I don't know if I'm ready
to do a big self help book, or I don't
know if I'm ready for therapy, or I don't know
if I can and even resonate with the manifesting book
quite yet, the best piece of advice is to go
do more of what brings you joy, and in those
moments where joy, so it could be cooking, could be creating,
(26:14):
could be spending time with certain friends, do more of
what brings you joy. Because when you're in joy, you're
connecting to self, and self is what manifests.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
What Danielle's not telling you is that her word for
twenty twenty five is joy.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
It is what I will recommend to you, please, because
you showed interest and desire to do self help. Is
that when you notice yourself pushing and trying and controlling,
do the check in and then go do something that
brings you joy.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Interesting, Okay, I want to put that on the Yeah,
tell me.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Because when we're in these places where we're kind of
like in our part, right, and it sounds like for
you it's like overdoing or over overworking, or whatever it
might be. For all of us we have them. We
might want to go like, well, let me go do
something joyful and just go do something over it. Right, Yes,
(27:17):
that's a better habit than getting stuck in the negative,
one hundred percent better habit. But the real flex, the
real manifesting flex, the real next level of this, which
I know you asked for, is to check in with
the part that feels like it needs to do do
do do do? Do one minute with it. Choose to
check in, be curious, ask what it needs to compassionate
(27:39):
connection and check for the seas, get back to a
little bit more self energy, and then go do something fun.
Then do bring more joy.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know, this is incredibly helpful because the idea of
just trying to go do something joyful is intimidating to
me almost and doesn't feel it even possible. Like sometimes
when you're in work mode, you can't just go like
jump in the ocean.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
You know, no you can't. So the check in is
the step I was missing.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
The work mode is a protector, so you don't want
to override the protector. You check in with the protector
and ease it out a bit. You get a little
self energy and from that place you say, Okay, can
I go jump in the ocean now? Or can I
just go for a walk right now? Can I do
something different right now?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Do you have a word of the year creativity? Ooh,
I'm excited to see how that manifests.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Oh girl, it's coming bigger than ever. I'm mean, I'm
actually getting teary when I say it.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Why is it making you emotional?
Speaker 5 (28:43):
Because I've felt very disconnected from it for a while.
The belief if I don't do it, nobody else will
has really been taking over, which is very misaligned with
that creative force. And so as a result of taking
care of that little girl that try to do it
all to make sure everything's done, I'm taking care of her,
and then in taking care of her and getting her
needs met, which is getting more help, means I have
(29:06):
more space.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
To be creative, fantastic. I think creativity is eternally linked
to the inner child.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Whenever I think about.
Speaker 5 (29:14):
It self right and self self is what the inner
child is truly meant to be.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
In Thanks, for always sharing so much of yourself.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Gabby, I love you, guys. Thank you for making me
cry at the end here.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
We love you, Thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Gabby Bernstein is the author of self help and the
host of the Dear Gabby podcast. You can find all
her work at Gabbybernstein dot com.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That's it for today's show.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Tomorrow, we're talking to the founder and executive chair of
Bumble about how to make the perfect dating profile.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
We can't wait to talk with Whitney wolf Heard.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Join the conversation using hash the bright Side and connect
with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
and at the bright Side Pod on TikTok Oh, and
feel free to tag us at simone Voice and at
danielle Robe.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.
Hosts And Creators
Simone Boyce
Danielle Robay
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