The Woody Show April 28th 2023 Podcast

Friday Fail Stories, The DUI-Q, Dad Jokes, Nerdin' Out & more!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Due to the graphic nature of thisprogram, listener discription is advised than The
Woody Show compared. This is theWoody Show. Insensitivity Training on any Glean

(00:29):
Concree class is now in session.Good morning, everybody, Morning body.
Today is April the twenty eighth,twenty twenty three, and my friends,

(00:53):
today is Friday. Yeah, Kelly, yeah, dog you feel me?
Son? Yeah? All right,Welcome to the Woody Show. I'm Mordy.
That's Ramy. Happy Frinday to you. Great worry menaces here? What
is up? Woody, very SeaBass, We got Sammy, Good morning,

(01:15):
Burton, Carolina here, Morgan's here, Vaughn's here. Your here.
Question is are you ready to weekend? Hell? Yeah we are. Let's
get it gone now. It's WoodyShow. Fish all Hey, this Friday,
we got the phones open for you. Eight seven seven forty four Woody.

(01:37):
That's eight seven seven forty four,Woody. It is up with the
text over to two two ninety seventhis Friday check ins, tell us who
you are and they were around town. You're listening to the Woody Show this
morning. Anything anyone you'd like tohave us mentioned? Maybe with the weekend
plans? Are anybody got anything excitinghappening this weekend. Your game comes out.
I'm so excited about Jedi Survivor.Oh yeah, that's the Stars Universe.

(02:05):
That's that's news Xbox. I'm goingto a Stagecoach music festival in my
country on yea, Diplo and Dylanfrances is going to be there. That
sounds very country and then Diplo andDylan France. Yeah, I they do
like country remixes and like the tentthere, and that's cool, But I
thought it was more like um,soccer mom stuff. I know, there's

(02:28):
like country involved, kind of like, uh, you know, traditionally Coachella
has been more like alternative and theyalso have features of hip hop and some
other stuff. Yeah, this yearis definitely a little bit more like hip
hop and stuff like that that it'sbeen in past years. I always thought
Stagecoach while and had that country element, or maybe it started more like that

(02:49):
that's kind of morphed into more like, you know, they had the other
stuff like the Maroon Fives and theJohn Mayers and somebody still kind of stayed
traditional. I don't know, Sam, you've been there and then and also
Nellie, don't forget Nellie now I'llbe the country fell Yeah, don't forget
Nellie. He's gone country. Yeah, he's had some country songs for but
he did one with Tim mc gawa long time ago. And Diplo's been

(03:10):
going a stagecoach for years now justbecause he loves country music. He would
be there even if they weren't havinghim reform. But he does do remixes
and stuff with country songs. Nowthat's all background stuff. But Guy Fiery's
going to be there. That's themost important against anything cool. Now there's
really a big furry convention. Wow, all right, Well that's some are

(03:32):
the important things. There's a bigsledgehammer recall what I know how two point
two million sledge hammers are being recalledbecause the tops have broken off and sledge
hammered people's heads. Oh my god, I guess when you're swinging around all
of a sudden comes off just clunk. Oh that sucks. So far,
there had been about two hundred reportsof the sledgehammers just catching someone's dome.

(03:55):
Two people have suffered head and faceinjuries that you call invert involve certain Dwalt
Stanley and Fat Max and Craftsman fiberglasssledge hammers. I know, we have
a lot of work and people outthere that sound good. Anyone who has
one of those sledgehammers stop using itimmediately, and they say contact Stanley Black

(04:16):
and Decker for a refund. Youshould just be able to bring it to
like a Lows or a home depotor wherever. Anybody that deals with those,
brandy let them handle exactly right.What do you I've been in your
house but not inside your garage.Do you have a large amount of tools
or no? I had, well, not like um sledgehammers and stuff like
I have a shovel on a rakeand you know the basic stuff, you
know, garage brooms and things likethat. You don't have like a gigantic

(04:40):
tool chest for I have. Yeah, I have a bunch of like yeah,
I got a bunch of power toolsand stuff like that, and I
don't have No, A lot ofmy stuff is Dwalt w Yeah, because
I had a couple of Dwalt thingsand so when I went to go buy
other things, he won the match, right Greig? Yeah, yeah,
preferably you kind of want to stickwith one brand. Yeah, No,
I mean this has always been goodstuff and it's lasted a while, so

(05:02):
I've stuck with that. But yeah, I have a lot of different uh
you know, screwdriver sets, wrenchsets, socket sets. I was like,
I recently got a new pick axeand I love it. Like what
other trenches can I dig? Igot? I got shamed years ago.
Uh. This is after I boughtmy first out. You know the story,
right, yeah, yeah, So, uh there was somebody in the

(05:23):
house and they're like, hey man, you got a hammer. Yeah,
one got my hammer, Like thisis your hammer. You consider yourself a
man, and this is your hammer. And it was a hammer that came
with like is you know. Forthe longest time I rented, I was
in apartments. Yeah, so Ihad like one of those like little apartment
with a little like toolkit, kindof like the kid tool kids. Yeah,
and so a little baby hammer andit's right, a little baby hammer.

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And it wasn't it wasn't super small. I've seen those ones that are
really tiny. It was let's sayit was like a medium size hander.
Anyway, this guy's like laughing atme and he goes, dude, you
gotta get yourself a real hammer.So I went out and I bought myself
like, uh, this like areal good man hammer man. He would
have found the biggest hammer you canknow. I no, I went.
I went and got like you know, like a legit. Yeah, not
nothing that came as part of aset, you know what I mean.

(06:06):
It's like something wing something wing hammer. It was recommended to me. This
guy did like, um, likeyou know, big time construction stuff.
So what's the one to get,dude, Let me get the manliest hammer
that I can get. Swing.Over the years, I've accumulated so many
hammers. Don't know why. That'sthe ones in the garage toss up over
your car. Yeah, yeah,the new one I do because this is

(06:26):
a nice one here and every oncein a while because Greg had told that
story. So just taking a weirdrisk. Yeah, it's a game I
play with myself. And uh nowit's like one of those things every once
in a while we come back fromthe commercials and you know the little clip
of Greg talking about how he'll tossa hammer up in the air and try
to catch it. But he doesthis over the hood of his car.
Yeah, probably stopped doing that.Something that with their phones, like over

(06:50):
you know, balconies and stuff.That's like TikTok and stuff. This is
just you by yourself. I don'tneed social media to entertain myself. Funny
thrill. So here's something out ofAustralia. You go why a team from
the Melbourne Sexual Health Center is warningpeople that ghana rha can now be transmitted

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through kissing. Oh right, sowhat do you want us to do here?
Come on, das if I everused a dental like for real,
like in a sexual context. Anyhold on, baby, let me get
this dental damn out. Yeah,they put this piece of plastic over your

(07:38):
parts and then you know, didyou ever go for like a you know
those little massage places at the mallSometimes they have like a chair massage or
whatever, and it's weird, likeyou'll sit down, I love those whatever.
I'll get a massage anywhere and yousit down, they put like a
like a cloth or something over yourback. Because I think there's some kind
of like rule or regulation or somethingwhere they can't have direct contacts or there
has to be something in between.Like some places get around uh like full

(08:01):
nudity or whatever by just having pastiesso they can serve beer or whatever.
But basically everything's uncovered. It's thesame kind of thing. It's like they
put this like, what is thatdoing? You just put this this cover.
I don't know what's supposed to protectanybody from shirt? No? Oh
no, the shirts on and thenthey take like a like a little like
almost like a little throw blank.It's not like a towel sized thing.

(08:22):
It's not the thickness of a towel. It's a thickness of like a it's
just it's the it's the thickness oflike a regular bedsheet. And they just
put it over, just went righton your shirt. Yeah, maybe they're
grossed out by you. I anyway. They say that the gnarrha through kissing
can be cultured from saliva, suggestingthe exchange of saliva between individuals may potentially

(08:43):
transmit this. Indicators include fever,rash, skin sores, joint paint swelling,
and stiffness. Right hell yeah,like demnolition man. The sex scene
where they just put on headsets,they don't touch each other. Oh yeah,
it's hot. Yeah eight seven sevenforty four. What if you're calling
in this morning Friday? Check inson that text over to two two nine

(09:05):
eighty seven. We're gonna take aquick break more what his show is next.
Hang on, they're back, Siton my Face show. All right,
welcome back everybody. Hey to Fridaymorning. Greg's gonna be nerd now
the latest in the world of nerds. You're in just a moment. Also,
some of the Woody showmail call alfterhours voicemails. Got a couple of

(09:28):
emails I'm gonna read for you hereemails. Sent an email at the Woody
Show dot com. Of course itis April the twenty eighth, a couple
of the holidays today. Today isClean Comedy Day. Yeah, the people
who go like comedy doesn't need tobe dirty to be funny. Yeah,
like, uh, you know thosepeople, those are the same people like

(09:48):
we don't have a television in ourhouse or I remember I had one friend
who it wasn't this way for him, but like once his sister came around,
his parents decided that all the toyswould be made of wood because no
plastic toys toxic in the in thehouse. Good thing it was after him.
Yeah, Clean Comedy Day, pleaseglobal pay it forward day. One

(10:11):
of your favorites there, see basswhere you get those chains going at the
ye fast food or the coffee place. Yeah, I thought we were done
with that. Remember that stupid moviethat came out years ago. Yeah,
I got some kid that was dyingKevin Spacey. It turned out Kevin Spacey
touches kids. So how did thatgo for you? Huh? Pay it
forward people? It was. Itwas a touching movie. Getting good.
National Superhero Day, Rave, Okay, it's a great poetry reading day.

(10:33):
There you go, Bond. What'sup? It's Biological clock Day. Also
Kiss your Mate Day, National HairballAwareness Day, Rave, are you aware?
And probably last here on the showand all the ladies out there at
World Women's Wellness Day. And todayit's National Blueberry Pie Day. I don't

(10:54):
know if I've ever had blue I'veprobably had some blueberry pie good. It's
good. Yeah, berries are good. I love blueberries. I'm just not
sure I've ever had I've had blueberrycobbler, but I haven't had like a
in a pie, you know,cherry Pott. It seems hard to believe
cherry pie so good. Yeah,I have not had it. That's the
big kind of sort of desserts thatyou are. Yeah. I'm not a

(11:15):
huge pie guy, though, youknow, I'm more like cake, cookies,
ice cream, o things like I'mreally pie like pumpkin pie. But
of course the ratio of pumpkin pieto whip cream's got to be at least
one to one, if not more. If not more, you know how
be Bed Bathroom Beyond is like closing. Yeah. I just went in there

(11:35):
just for fun. It is packed, by the way. Oh yeah,
everybody wants a deal and you canget some good deals on some kke cups
for you know, your coffee.And they had pumpkin spice there. I
was so excited, and it's likehalf price. Well see that's the thing,
Like they're having a half price salenow, So all this stuff that's
at half price at Bed Bathroom Beyondis now the same price you could have
got an Amazon this entire time.That's the one thing about Bed Bathroom Beyond.

(11:56):
Every time you go in there,things are like out of control,
like with the pricing so high,like no, wonder, no what he's
going here, but it's right now. They had half pice price cake ups.
I was so excited. Yeah,you bought this house. Do you
ever go home and just enjoy yourhouse? No? No, no,
it's just a place for stay shopping. Yeah, what do you show mail

(12:22):
call. This is an email here. It's from d S and the subject
crossroads and contextar what do you show? Some of your listeners need to understand
the power of changing the channel,believe it or not. On the way
to work, I alternate between youguys in NPR. It depends on my
mood, but I enjoy both andboth have a place in my morning commute.

(12:45):
There is a context for everything.Doctors have their gallows humor teachers have
moments when an irreverent joke can savethe day from total disaster. Sometimes the
humor in and itself can put aserious situation in a valuable context. Potentially
or not. The what it showoccupies its own place in this world,
and you all do a great jobof what you do. Thank you for

(13:05):
giving me a smile, a laugh, even a gasp of horror from time
to time. Sincerely, D S. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I
thought that was a very nice email. Pretty good, yeah, awesome NPR.
Alright, NPR. Here's uh,here's another person who is satisfied with
their listening experience. They called inleft his message on the after hour's voicemail,

(13:26):
which you can do as well.Eight seven seven forty four woody Oh,
got guys, this is Robert.You just maybe laughed hard pants,
but Robbie, all right, Robbie, Robbie Pete's pants. He was alight.
Now that I can believe a littlebit more than people go like,
Oh, I was laughing so hardI had to pull over. Yeah,

(13:48):
you get that every once in awhile. I don't necessarily believe that.
Um here is one so uh advicefor Ravy when she blazes it? Oh
is what this person is calling inon the hours voicemail about Hey, guys,
I love the show. I wasjust calling in that gives some advice
to Raby. She says, youdon't know how to inhale. Well,

(14:09):
bess I can give is that youknow how you drink through a straw.
Act like your drinking through a straw, Like you're really thirsty to drink it
through a straw. And then wheneveryou're gonna go drink freeze in. All
right, all right, hey guys, you might not have picked up he's

(14:30):
high right now. That good advice. That makes sense. It does.
He's defining what it means to smokesomething. But like as hard as picture
get mentally, now you will coughyour brains out. Yeah, I would
use a vape pen over smoking allday. But just you know, don't
suck too hard because you'll take alot in. You know what I'm saying.

(14:52):
Let's get one more here. Eightseven seven forty four. This guy's
high too. Oh my god,I'm higher than him. So uh,
wood me love, Sebastian, goscrew yourself, Greg me love little Buddy
means love. Raby mean one ofthose hello, oh yeah, this is

(15:15):
where it ends. Okay, yeah, I want to love love I ballad.
Well, I already have a Fridayfriend. I know, but what
do you doing the other days ofthe week, ye friendless? Saturday,
Wednesday, Thursday friendless? I meanFriday's take a week, get it?
This is learning out with Raby.I mean the NFL realized that it's not

(15:37):
just Sunday for football, you knowwhat I mean? Yeah, they could
play on Mondays, taken play onThursdays like Saturdays that they need to,
So I mean consider rape. Takeit from there to Yeah, let me
know when you're opening up the applicationprocess and we'll put that word out there.
Okay, leave us a message thisweek on the after hours voicemail eight
seven seven forty four. Woody that'seight seven seven forty four wood, along

(16:00):
with those drunk style voicemails Raby,what's got your nerd out on this Friday
morning? Nannie? Did you watchit? The final trailer for Transformers Rise
of the Beasts. It is dope. I'm all about it. The movie
comes out on June ninth. Iknow you're very excited. Yeah. Bort
says he doesn't get high hopes offor any of these Transformers movies, just

(16:22):
wants to be pleasantly surprised, thoughhe said the effects look solid. I
know I dragged into the last oneand he enjoys some of it, okay,
because you know he is a puristwhen it comes to this. But
this is a different story, soI think that he might enjoy this one.
I mean, the trailers got mesold in the first ten seconds.

(16:45):
Yeah, I know you're ripping out, ye, coming out June ninth.
So Vin Diesel was the story fromthe universal presentation at CinemaCon. Stars show
up. They present, you know, some footage from their movies that they
have. You know, they dothis little song and dance usually a bunch
of stuff on the teleprompter. ButVin didn't like what was on the teleprompter,
so he went off book and apparentlyeverybody really enjoyed it. He said,

(17:11):
I should be reading from the teleprompter, but you guys don't give an
ish about the teleprompter, and youknow, just waxed philosophical about you know,
Fast and Furious and values of family, his love for the theatrical experience.
And then he did read what wason the teleprompter at one point,
just to let everybody know how lameit was, and it was something about

(17:34):
Fast and the Furious picking up themantle while Avengers rested and Star Wars put
down the lightsaber. Okay, wow. And this is where he also announced
that Fast ten is going to bebroken up now into two movies, Part
one coming next month, part twoin twenty twenty five, and then Fast
eleven will supposedly wrap the whole thingup. I mean, you can't contain

(17:59):
it in just one movie Fast ten. There's no way you gotta break it
up. This is like Harry Potter. And after Vin raft up, filmmaker
David Leach took the stage and he'sa former stunt man, and basically he
had two guys come down from thecoliseum rafters and then detonated them, and

(18:23):
because he is directing this remake ofthe eighties show fall Guy, which was
about a stunt man. Yeah,and so they were showing it all off.
This movie stars Ryan Gosling and EmilyBlunt and they came out and they
talked about the movie also stars AaronTaylor Johnson, Hannah Wattingham, and Winston
Duke. It was Gosling's second appearanceat sine mccon. Of course, he

(18:45):
was also there promoting Barbie and aUniversal dropped some surprise footage from Wicket and
Part one doesn't drop until Thanksgiving twentytwenty four. Wow. But attendees got
to see some lying monkeys, whatthe Emerald City looks like. They got
to see Cynthia Arrivio's Alphabo flying ona broom. And then they had Jack

(19:08):
Black and Justin Timberlake show up topromote their animated sequels to Kung Foo Panda
and Trolls. I did see afull Trolls to trailer before the Super Mario
Brothers movie. Now, is JackBlack owning the animation space? You think?

(19:29):
Now? Is that his new thing? I don't know that it's his
new thing, but he's always voiceda lot of characters, but I think
what really got him into it probablywas Poe from Kung Fu Panda. But
he's shown up in many places sinceI'll see Kung Foo Panda before, I'll
see trolls too. Watching that trailer, like, what fresh hell is this?
Shout out the trolls. Yes,shout out to trolls. I'm raban.

(19:53):
For more nerds stuff, check outthe nerd No podcast at The Woody
Show dot com. Nerd all right, thank you very much, rabols More
Friday Woody Show is next. Hangup, They're gonna scan all the way
for free food real quick, andthen we'll be right back show and we

(20:15):
are into another new hour of insensitivitytraining for a politically correct world. April
the twenty eight, twenty twenty three. Today is Friday. By Friday morning.
Oh yeah, trying to get tothis part of the day for you
as quickly as we can so wecan all get into our weekends. Yes,

(20:37):
I'm that's raving all right. GregGory is Hero Menace is next to
him? What is up? Woody? Holding it down? On social media
at The Woody Show on Instagram andTwitter or on Facebook, Facebook dot com.
Slash the Woody Show. We've gotSea Bass right there. Yeah,
there's Sammy, we got, wegot Caroline, we got Morgan Vaughan is

(20:59):
here. He's our video producer,and we've got the phones open for you.
If you like to participate in theshow this morning. The number is
eight seven seven forty four Wooding.That's eight seven seven forty four Wooding.
You can also hit us up witha Friday check in a text. We'll
do the trick over to two twonine eight seven. Come it up to
Sour our dumb ass contest the dU i Q resting some stuff there,

(21:25):
and we'll start the out here,of course with the Friday Fail stores.
But yeah, man, we've gota lot to get through, a lot
of things to discuss as we movethrough the Friday morning here on the Woody
Show, Ladies and Gentlemen, boysand girls once again, this time for

(22:18):
the Friday Failed Start. Proba ofthese people talk they had the perfect plan,
the plan that could never go wrong. But in somewhere along the line
it went for being a great idea. The one big stink in Mega uber
lu started a little no that wasthat was on me. I feel like

(22:52):
we found a sweet spot there fora few seconds. That was I mean
the beginning. I came out alittle too aggressive, like a C plus
A right. I mean it isthe fails. It is m starting with
this driver in Kansas who crashed theirvehicle on four twenty because he was steering
with his knees while trying to lighta joint. All right. The thirty
year old told the cops that hewas driving home from work when he decided

(23:15):
that he wanted to get high.Yeah happens, yeah, by the wheel.
Yeah, But as he was tryingto spark a j rave, you
know, he crossed over three lanesand drove into a ditch before hitting a
big cement post and a utility pole. I was not wearing a seatbell at
the time to hind to remember that. But somehow only suffered minor injuries and

(23:40):
thankfully didn't hit any other cars anybody. But he was arrested and taken too
failed jailheel. Also, my thingis like, how does the police have
all this information? Yeah? Why, Hey, so what happened? Dude?
Even at my highest I don't thinkI would share that if you don't

(24:00):
lose your ability completely to like reasonthat. Oh I don't want to say
this to the cops us as wouldbe a complete idiot. Well, first
of all, yeah, the personwho is going to get high behind the
wheel in the first place, notthe smart That's a lot of people.
Yeah, a lot of people.And you knows, and you know how
collectively we feel about people. Yeah, like d when he drives the way

(24:22):
somebody was smoke a cigarette. Yeah, NonStop. Yeah, here's one about
this ticktard who ended up in tearsafter she tried to pay for people's groceries
and they all refused. They allsaid no, they all said no.
He's like, but I gotta getmy video done. Video apparently, like
mister beast. Yeah, apparently shewent to like a like a nicer part

(24:45):
of town. Okay, oh sothat I mean that could have it.
Here she is trying to pay forthe groceries and then talking about how it
made her feel after all the rejections. But I'd love to pay for your
free shop today just because I want. No. No, no, honestly,
like I do, I do thisthing where I want to do something
nice. Thank you. I stressful. That was really stressful. I felt

(25:10):
really like in punt mood. Idon't know why I just felt like I
was expecting someone to be, youknow, overjoyed and grateful and happy for
me to pay for that shop thing. But obviously, yeah, it's like,
hey, person, who I havea camera in your face? Why
don't you want me a person whowas clearly only doing this for Internet cloud
to pay for your groceries and makeyou look like a loser. Where was

(25:32):
this attitude two weeks ago when youguys were praising what's his face for like
a throwing money at everybody? ButI'm glad you came around though, who
oh, mister Beas and other peoplelike that. Oh yeah, yeah,
all that stuff, thank you.I like all that stuff, I say,
if I'm not bagging on the idearight for people's groceries, but why
I get upset about it and Istart crying and don't know, it's just

(25:55):
a whole face to do. Itis like neighborhood groceries, but those stores
are scary, and she she stillaccomplished that, She still accomplished her goal
of getting attention though, yeah yeah, yeah, either way, Well,
apparently what she did is she endedup buying a bunch of groceries and just
dropping him off at like a likea yeah, hello, I'm Adele.

(26:21):
I'm Adele. This one is fromFlorida with this guy. He was riding
his motorcycle and had a high hilariousfake license plane that said bend over b
N D O v R all oneword cool, right, very thing is
he was a fugitive from New Jerseywho was wanted on a parole violation and
when some police officers noticed his littlelicense plate there and they tried to pull
him over, but I remember thisdude's a badass, so he hit the

(26:45):
throttle and he sped away, ledthem on a brief chase blue through a
red light, which ended with apretty spectacular crash and the dumbasses in the
hospital for now handcuffed to a hospitalbed, but as soon as he heals
up enough, he'll be transferred tothe failed jail. Yeah, come on,
I grew up of friends. Theywere playing a late night game of

(27:07):
Monopoly match which ended with a samuraisword fight. They started arguing about how
loud the game was getting, andthat's when one of the guys stepped up
to defend his father. Armed witha samurai sword, he attacked one of
the other players also ended up injuringhimself in the process. I guess he
struck an artery. Oh no,and he's in critical condition, injured by

(27:30):
his own sword. Doesn't that suck? Guy? He was attacked also taking
the hospital, but he was patchedup and he was sent home. He's
not nearly in bad shape, asrather the sword in the first place.
Idiots And one of my favorite storiesof the week. This guy in Los
Angeles. He has filed a thirdlawsuit against a psychic for defrauding him out

(27:52):
of one thousand dollars and causing emotionaldistress. He says his ex girlfriend quote
hired a witch to place a curseon him, and he really needed it
removed, of course, so hewent to some psychic chick that he found
on Google, and he says thathe chose her specifically because she had a
PhD, which she said required specialschooling. Exactly what that is? These

(28:15):
out they are not hard to getfor taking away the curses. She told
him that the curse could be removedif he purchased a five thousand, one
hundred dollars crystal from her, towhich he's like, oh cool. He
gave her a thousand dollars down payment, took the crystal. But guess what,
every still didn't work. Crystal didn'tdo anything. Curs still there.

(28:38):
So now he's demanding twenty five thousanddollars in damages. Now a judge had
previously dismissed the claim based on lackof evidence, but he just keeps refining
this. This is third one.He's got the evidence. The psychics lawyers
say that she didn't scam him,and if if she gives he gives the
crystal back. She said this,she'll return the money, will she?

(29:02):
Yeah, I'm a sea beast,Like, how's this stuff still legal?
Right these days? I get itlike eighteen hundreds, you know, but
because you can't. But it's staringright there in the open. It's literally
I'm saying something I can do somethingthat I can't do. Yeah, well,
how's that any different than these peoplethat you know, they're claiming that
they all you make some tea outof like dried whale penis and that somehow
like your arthritis is going to go. Well, those people, that's also

(29:26):
illegal. You can't say that youcan't sell those things legally. What about
the bracelets that give you better bouts? The change those word on those you're
always falling down. You're not wearingit on bred farm coppernee brace, I
feel great? Or that light upthing that you put your hand in,
Yeah, arthritis, right, yeah. Do you have one of those things

(29:48):
that flashes the red lights supposed toregrow hair? You have one of those?
You've seen those like, Yeah,you put like this helmet thing on
your head, supposed to regrow hair. Those are super popular skymall. Yeah.
Right, anyway, there are yourFriday fail stories everybody. Yep,
we're gonna take a quick break.We got some more Woody Show coming up
for you. Next hang up comingup next on The Woody Show. Maybe
it'll be something like eat sushi frommy backside, donuts off my ding dong,

(30:12):
chicken soup from my belly button,or something much darker. I got
a blot and quarrel in my freezer. End is very momentless. The Woody
Show back in the bit and thedn'tcompound that. First of all, pound
what I'm saying for a show nobodyasked for, it's not bad. It's

(30:34):
a Friday morning time for a dumbasscontest, and today's dumbass contest is the
du Yeah if you like to beour contestant, go ahead and give us
a call. Eight seven seven fortyfour, Woody. That's eight seven seven
forty four, Woody. And whileyou're calling in, it gets set up

(30:55):
there. See, bast explain theway the game works to everybody. Please
hihs the streets someone who's nice anddrunk and asked them a very easy trivia
question or three. You guess whetherthey know the answer. That's how you
play the duiq. You don't guessthe answer to the question, right,
everyone, Notice that you guess,well, this person who's drunk, well
they know the answer. If youcan guess whether they know the answer correctly,
two times out of three, youwin. Yeah, And just for
funzies, we're going to uh havemenace and Sammy took a stab at the

(31:21):
questions as well. All right,make up, all right? Eight seven
seven forty four, seven seven fortyfour. Let's go to uh Donald.
Hey, good morning, Donald,Donald morning guys. Yeah, all right,
Donald, you're gonna be our contestanthere for the dy Q. Now,
before we get to the questions thatcount toward you win an a prize
or not, we're gonna get toknow the drunk person here a little bit

(31:41):
better see how with it or notwith it they are? And who is
this person? Seve asks? Wesay drunk, but actually this is a
little bit of a twist. TodayI went to a fish concert. Folks
who don't know fish is. They'rebasically the new grateful dead, right,
A lot of very drugged out people. And that's who we're going to talk
to you today. Charlotte, whois not necessarily drunk. She's on a
different type of drugs. She's gonnatell us about under the influence, right,

(32:02):
So she's sitting there, she's onthis drug. She's looking at her
phone. Things are, you know, tracers, colors and all sorts of
stuff is happening. Let's talk toCharlotte's at the fish show. How was
the fish show this evening? Asmy hundred and sixteenth my best friend's dad
built nagel after a fish festival.Honestly, I got arrested because I saved
my best friend from getting arrested.Hannah, So you like jumped in when
they were trying to arrest and Igot arrested. You said, you're not

(32:24):
drunk but high on l what's ill? Elstie? Looking at your phone?
On Elstie. What's the difference betweenlook at your phone regular and on LSC.
I mean, my dog's hair iswaving in the wind a little bit.
Oh, Like the picture is likein a movie. He's a dead
dog on my phone. That's that'show you know. But he's moving,
which is kind of fun. He'salways with me to catch up on her.

(32:46):
There she's looking at her phone andshe said, like, right now,
my dog's hair is waving to her, waving to me. It's a
dog. Did you ever look athing where it's like a it's a moving
spiral thing. And then you lookat then you look at the Starry Night
painting and all the whole skies moving. It's really cool. They pop up
on social media. Yep. It'slike a spiral video. It's like and

(33:08):
you're supposed to stare at the centerof it for thirty seconds and then and
then right below it is a pictureof you know that that famous painting Starry
Night, And you look at thatand the whole thing is moving except for
the buildings. It's crazy. Andyou're not even high or anything. You're
not even on l It's wild,dude. Yeah, they have things like
cute but like words to hide thedrugs the cop scare judges. Right,

(33:31):
yeah, well, but although shesaid she did a void, she got
arrested helping her a friend. Andthen the prior fish show Escape the Cops
hundred and sixteen shows what a loserand no job that is, Charlotte Donald,
you're ready for the questions. I'mready. Here we go. Question
number one for the d U yQ. If you're in a VFW hall?
What is vf W stand for it? All right, vf W hall.

(33:55):
I'm gonna go for Can I startwith a triple? Now? Triple?
No? Right? Do you wantto go ahead and do that?
Now? I do? Okay,I do? I mean that was pretty
quick that you arrived. I know, Okay, Okay, I'm going for
it. Dude. Our our friendTony the Whipping Boy, he and his
wife go to the VFW hall forlike their game nights or whatever they have.

(34:19):
And guess who else is there?My in laws and they're like old,
you know what I'm saying, Andso here he is with a bunch
of these other old people. Thattracks for Tony. It does tracks.
It does have a friend who joinedthe Lions Club in his twenties, had
like some super cheap beer nights thereget a hammer for like two dollars.
Yeah. I was like, whatare you got going on? We're going

(34:39):
down to the VFW hall. Whatare the dudes? And it's like that
go down there. What are thedudes that drive those tiny cars and parades
at the weird hats? Oh that'sthe Shriner Shriners. Shriners joined, It's
the Friars Club. It's the Shriners. In my area was the Elks Club
was like Club Lodge. All right, So vf W what does that stand

(35:01):
for? Will they know it?Raby? What do you think here?
Follow Greg with his triple no?Yeah, I'm going triple no as well.
Menace, What do you think aboutCharlotte? No? Way? No
way? All right? Donald?Your guests yes or no? About Charlotte?
Will you know it? Oh that'stough. I'm thinking her dad might
be well, I'm not gonna butyou know what, but Menace and Sammy

(35:23):
I think he'll get it. Okay, all right, so Charlotte, no,
but Menace and Sammy will get Nathan. Here, let's let's find out
question number one here on the dU y Q. If you're in a
VFW hall, What is vf Wstand for? Sammy, veterans fight wars?
Veterans fight I put the veterans federalwars. You guys are somewhat words

(35:52):
right. They knew it's veterans veteransof four vof W. Yeah, why
didn't you see that? Then?Why has it got to be? I
know? Why did they took theO out? Donald said that Charlotte wouldnt
get it. Let's see, he'son the board. If you're in a
VFW hall, want is vf Wstand for Veterans for war? If you

(36:15):
could be a veteran in any war? What would it be? If I
could be a veteran any war?What were would it be? World War
One? Oh, she's a billionpercent closer than I thought you would be,
Like the really easier known as agreat time for everybody. Veterans for
war. They love it, theylove because they celebrated. Yeah, I
mean, she's way closer than Ithought I thought she'd be. So off.

(36:38):
Agreed, All right, Well,good news. Donald's on the board.
Donald, you're on the point onthe board of the part. All
right, so you got your firstpoint. You need one more at these
next two questions here on the dU, I Q name it property on
a standard monopoly board. Oh god, yes, this has got to be
a sweep, right, I wantto sweep that for you. I know,
so easy. Uh yeah, I'mnot doing it. I'm sweeping who

(37:01):
you guys? Are it? GregorUniverse? You're prior triple yes? Doing
a triple yes in this game?Is I know? Nuts? Nuts?
I mean, what's next for us? Dinner for breakfast, pizza? People
have breakfast for dinner, but imaginehaving dinner for breakfast. Oh my god,

(37:27):
before they text. People are gettingtext it's called Brenner. We know
it's breakfast for I don't think we'regonna get that tenn. We're definitely not
getting I believe we would because it'snot what we said. Yeah, I'm
talking about dinner for breakfast. Yeah, like pizza for breakfast, Brenner would
be for dinner for dinner. Yeah, I get it. The opposite thought

(37:49):
you said saying yeah, no,I thought you said both. I'll say
I thought you said okay. No. Despite all that, I'm sticking with
triple yes. I'll say yes,menace, yes, Sammy, Okay,
and I guess Charlotte sounds kind ofa she's on LSD but she's struck clearly.

(38:09):
But you know what, I'm stickingwith no for Charlotte, all right,
yes, yes, no, man'swhat do you think? I think
somehow she whiffs on it, soI'm gonna say no for her. All
right, Donna, do you thinkyes or no? Tough one. Oh,
that's a tough one. I'm gonnasay no, but Bammy and Menace
will get it. Okay, allright, let's find out question number two

(38:30):
for the d u i Q.Name it property on a standard monopoly board
boardwalk? Okay, board walk?All right? Yeah, they both got
that one, and I'm the mostexpensive one. Pas, what's the what's
the what's the partner property of thatone? Park place? Look at that?
Okay? Pretty good? Yeah,yeah, I'm good luck getting a

(38:54):
text in right now because everybody's touchingand works like a grinter storm on the
time. We want you to knowthat we know zero zero am. Now
that we've said that you should text, we'll tell yeah. Uh. Question
number two for the d y Q. Let's see if Charlotte knows the answer.

(39:15):
Name it property on a standard monopolyboard park place? Is that's your
favorite property? Or no. Ilike jail personally jail ja alright? Donald,
Yeah, all right, Donald's allright. I mean you got one
more. That one was tough.That's why we have the third question here
to make a break. Question numberthree for the d U y Q.

(39:36):
Stuart Little is what animal? StuartLittle is? What animal? Okay?
Interesting? Oh man, Sammy knows. She's got to know. Sammy knows.
Um, I think so, yeah. I think he does. Is
it Brunch? I think he lovesBrenner? I think he does. And

(39:58):
I have a I have a theoryto win. I'm so I'm gonna say
yes for Menace and Sammy. Yeah, okay, I'm trying to have an
idea as to win, all right. Um, Charlotte though this one?
Yeah, well, I'm gonna getinsane. What tripple? Yes on this
one? Cripple? Wow? Yeah, you're so crazy. I know how

(40:19):
old Charlotte. I would say thirty. She's been doing one hundred and whatever
six night shows takes takes a bitof time to collect all that loserness right
under your belt. M hmmm.The way Fish is doing like ten nights
in a roll of Madison Square Gardenin July, God do you want to
see a bunch of losers in Manhattan, Oh my god, wandering around doing

(40:39):
whippets on the street. All right, I'm gonna say no to Charlotte.
No to Charlotte. All right,Donald, what do you think? Man?
This is make or break? Whatdo you say? What? I'm
gonna say no to Charlotte, Yesto both Menace and Sammy. I'm gonna
have this. Oh my god,this is a tough disconnect. No.

(41:00):
That kind of language, bloody,vulgar and abusive language. That's an automatic
disconnected. You've got a dirty horshmouth, A great gonna talk to our
color here? Yeah? Right,so he's you know, he's relaxing.
He's talk about friends, Yeah,talking with friends. All right. So
you think that because she's like higha lot, watching TV and just tripping

(41:22):
out glean this information. Okay,there was a Stuart Little TV series?
Yeah? All right? So yeah, yes or no? Donald? Oh?
I said yes, yes, yes, and the yes word. Did
you get it? All right?Let's start with Menace and Sammy. Question
number three for the d y Q. Stuart Little is what an animal?

(41:42):
A mouse? I put a mouseas well? Mouse? All right?
That? Now, do you knowanything else about this movie Menace. I
do not remember what it's about.Rides around in a little car. Yeah,
but I figured you might know itbecause Jonathan live Nikki's in it.
I thought like maybe you would have. Yeah, he likes a throughout Jonathan
lip Nikki's name. Oh yeah,from time to time, screenplay fight.

(42:04):
I'm like shim because always been.Oh he follows the Woody Show, something
about social Okay, he hates you, John, Okay, Well, now
I know that it was we randomlyfollowed him. I think you followed him.
I don't know, but I justknow that he was. I don't
remember any lip Nicky thread on thisshow. Oh no, No, we
mentioned him one time. We mentionedhim a time from the Kid from Jerry

(42:29):
McGuire because I noticed that eight pounds, we started following him on our Instagram
page. M I didn't follow him, all right, Well, Donald,
you said that you said that Charlottewould not get it. I feel like
I'm tripping. I thought you werea huge Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I totally am. On the sametime, I mentioned one time that he

(42:52):
was ripped. I remember he followedus and then commented on something and men
thought that was super cool. Nikkylike body, Yeah, everybody on drugs.
Let's Friday, all right. SoDonald said that she would not get

(43:13):
it. Question number three said,oh, I said, yes, I'm
sorry. My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. Then
corrected, we are high, allright. Question number three for the d
y Q, Stuart Little is whatanimal over those book from your A little
person? Oh, a little girlperson, A little girl. I spos
a little person these days, youknow, man, Donald Man, we

(43:39):
still love you guys. Yeah,well if it makes you feel only better.
The prize for this game is neverlike a million dollars, so it's
like half. I'm sure it's somethingfun talking to you guys. We love
you guys in the morning, Donald, thanks man for changed this to the
wood Show. And that's how youplay the d y Q. Everybody.
It's like we got a contact,all right. I still can't believe there

(44:04):
are suckers out there who willingly signup for the show. Yeah, but
here we are, this is theWoody Show. Well, we got word
yesterday morning that Jerry Springer died seventynine years old, and we now know
it was from a pancreatic cancer.That's the that's the scary one. Yeah,
that's the one that got Steve jobsit. Yeah, you get diagnosed

(44:24):
with pancreatic cancer. That is thatI did read something because you know,
I love all that medical science stuffand all the research it's being done,
and all these different things they're figuringout there. They're on they're on the
precipice of something really good for pancreaticcancer. Yeah, they say something super

(44:47):
promising, which to this point therereally hasn't been much you could do,
you know, whereas if you getlike prostate cancer, Wood, why it's
important fellows to get your butthole checkedchecking prostate um, you know, you
catch that and whatever, there's plentythey can do for that. Sure,
I saw it interesting because you heara lot about breast cancer, but uh,
you know, of all the cancersthat you could quote, all the

(45:07):
cancer you can get, like theones that they could do, the most
forward most treatable, breast cancer wasnumber one I saw on this list,
followed by prostate cancer okay, andthen the AI can fix, and then
after that was testicular cancer, andthen you know, like melanoma you get
like those skin kids. Then yeah, my mom just had some spot on
on the side of her head thatthey had to take care of. I

(45:30):
forget what it was called, somethingsell melanome or whatever, but uh it,
you know, it's famous. Ifyou don't do anything about that stuff,
then it becomes a problem because itcould, you know, go other
other places. But like with yourprostate, I guess like it doesn't really
go anywhere for a long time,which is why if you catch it early
enough, they can do something.Even if they have to remove your prostate
or whatever. It's not an easyrecovery or anything like that. But you

(45:52):
know, but yeah, that thatpancreatic cancer. Man, that's that's bad
stuff. The Jerry Sprayers Show wasnamed by TV guy is the worst show
in the history of television. Butwhat I loved about Jerry and I saw
a lot of stuff. But therewas a lot of coverage about it yesterday,
Like he had a really great senseof humor about all of it.
He didn't care, Like he knewit was stupid. Yeah, yeah,
you knew. He was stupid personto tell you it was stupid. The

(46:13):
show was huge, He beat Oprah, He made a ton of cash from
it, and he laughed all theway to the bank on that show.
Prior to his TV career. Hewas on the Cincinnati City Council and he
had to resign after he admitted tosoliciting a prostitute and he got caught because
he had paid her with a personalcheck check. So that kind of set
him up for a future as thehost of the Jerry Springer Show. Right.

(46:36):
He was reelected the following year,but not to become mayor of Cincinnati
in nineteen seventy seven. Was alsoa TV news anchor, and he gave
a commencement speech at Northwestern once andI guess like there was some controversy,
like why do we have Jerry Springerup here doing our commencement speech? And
he's like, look, I getit. I'd asked for somebody else too.
He was up there telling the kids, but he said, let's be
honest, I've been virtually everything youcan't respect. A lawyer, a mayor,

(47:00):
a major market news anchor, anda talk show host. Pray for
me if I get to Heaven,we're all going. Had a really good
sense of humor. All right,now, Greg, did you do the
thing that you always do? Didyou immediately look up? Of course he
did. How much do you believeit was sixty if I remember correct million?
Really, but why do you dothat? Do you see? I

(47:20):
don't like, oh what his likedaughter's gonna get him? Maybe maybe you're
just curious how much people are worththe death. I mean, not that
that stuff's accurate. Now it's not. I'm sure for him he did like
episodes. I feel like he probablymade more. Yeah, yeah, he
owned a part of it Sydney.And yeah, like I said, the

(47:43):
ratings were huge. At one pointhe had twelve million viewers. Like do
you know what people do for twelvemillion viewers these days? And this is
in Dayton? Yeah, and uhI saw an interview that he did a
little piece of it. Our friendCharlotte Mane, the god from the Breakfast
Club, had posted, uh youknow a little clip from minute of you
they had done and he's like,man, he goes in your show was
before social media. Can you imagineyour show of social media? Yeah?

(48:07):
Yeah, social media had been athing. I mean there's still clips out
there, but yeah, yeah,if that social was happening, yeah,
I think his show would have beenunfortunately screwed because of social media because people
would have been out of this fakeYeah, like, oh I know that
person they're not married to this otherperson. They didn't fight with this other
thing. Yeah, he said theynever had to beg people to be on

(48:27):
the show because they want a freetrip. Yeah, Like he didn't call
anybody, like he said, theyall called in. You know this number
they out call. Are you ina relationship with blah blah blah blah blah
and this is going on the wholething and you're on a circus monkey call
this number. We want to haveyou on the Jerry Spring. I like
that episode that they highlighted last nighton the Entertainment News. It was like,
I'm leaving my wife and my familybecause I'm in love with the donkey.

(48:50):
A right, I don't getting marriedthe donkey and he married the donkey.
Yeah, can you imagine? Okay, so you're Oprah at this point.
You're doing like legit stuff, youknow. Yeah, and can you
imagine that? You know, letme check out and see what the ratings
are and you lose to that.Yeah, you're getting crushed, you know
by Donkey show. I know Ithink about that from time to time,
like you know, um, youknow any show that finishes after ours and

(49:14):
then you hear it like like andthen you really guess gas like right,
NPRS like what are we doing?You're right? Like what how I mean?
It's gotta like destroy you from theinside out? Right, Yeah,
let's hope. So eight seven sevenforty four Wooding, get us some of
the tax over to two two ninetyseven will be right back after the sales
department takes their monetary piece of fashionblood. So what do you show back?

(49:37):
In a bit, I'll take ahammer and you know how, you
flip it up in the air,so it does a bull flip and then
you catch it. Yeah, butI'll do that like over the hood of
my car, Like what low keypsycho dude. It's not a new hour
of intensitivity training. Prey politically correctworld. On this Friday morning, twenty

(50:00):
eight, twenty twenty three, I'meven raving Craig Gorey. Good morning,
Good morning Friday to you menace.What is up Woody? He's our social
media director. He's collecting your Fridaycheck ins on both Twitter and Instagram at
the Woody Show on Instagram and Twitter, hashtag Friday turn up there is She
asks me, are out here?We've got Sammy good morning. Phones are
open at eight seven to seven fortyfour Woody, AND's some of that text.

(50:22):
You can all send your Friday checkins there over to two to nine
eight seven. What do you thinkof the draft so far? Rave?
Super fun? I love the draft, like the first three rounds super fun.
I love watching. Stayed up waytoo late watching yea. Yeah,
I just I love the draft.I get caught up I watch it.

(50:42):
I'm just like a little bit morein the dark than most people because I,
like, I know the NFL.I don't know college sports. Yeah,
I don't pay attention to college sportsat all, so like I don't
know much. I was like,oh, because the guy was like the
number one draft pick, this guyBryce Young, the quarterback. Yeah he's
a little timy fellow. He issmall guy. He was a little guy.
Is bigger than that dude. Yeahhe looks so tiny and still well

(51:07):
badass quarterback, Heisman Trophy winner.Yeah, so he went, Yeah he
went to the Carolina Panthers. Thetrade it up to yeh yeah. A
lot of questionable fashion. Yeah withthese guys, you're like those dumb kids.
One guy in a pink suits.There was one guy in a flower
suit. Oh yeah, it's likethey all went to Claire's at the mall

(51:28):
and bought the most gaudy garbage theycould find, and they wore it all
at once. Yep, along withlike, yeah, pink suits, saw
purple suit with pin stripes. Ohyeah, a lot of weird sunglasses,
zus suits. Yeah. I hadto sit there and watch Will Levis and
his family as he got passed onthe entire first round. Yeah that sucked.
And his hot ass girlfriend, yeah, Raby, All the all the

(51:51):
couches there in that green room areawere all cleared out and he's still sitting
there and there apparently with a hotass girlfriend. Yeah, with a hot
ass girlfriend. What was the issuewith him when he got well, he
was rumored to be going very veryearly, right, and then the way
things shake out, it was justthe hype machine for him, I guess.
Yeah. They well, they figuredlike one of the three quarterbacks in
this you know, the big quarterbacksin this class would end up falling out

(52:15):
of the first round. They justweren't sure who it was going to be.
Plus you've got, whatever it is, two months of nothing to talk
about exactly. That was just basedon the draft order, you know,
because a lot of these you know, he got. Yeah, it was
top scinatic in Baltimore and Kansas Cityand like all these you know, all
these teams that already have their quarterbacksthat Baltimore worked it out with Lamar Jackson.

(52:36):
Yeah, he negotiated his own deal. Yeah, he was the highest
paid guy in the league. Yeah, and you gotta figure, is he
the highest paid guy in the league. I thought it was still a little
short of who just signed their deal. Jalen Hurts hurts more than Jalen Hurts
because he's not paying an agent,so it's automatically more. He's going to
get more than Jen Hurts and fiftysome million dollars a year, one hundred

(53:00):
and eighty some guaranteed, guaranteed.We'll call him a dumbass. Well look
still dumb as a box of hammers. But he made it. But he
run ball good. Yeah, Ithrow a ball. Okay, I Una.
People are giving him so much crap. Yeah, well again, like

(53:22):
you really take a risk. Andhe never ragged Baltimore or the fans,
or his teammates or anything like that. He just ragged management for the trade.
That makes him even more beloved inBaltimore. Yeah, you know,
because he fought the man and hewon. Well, coming up, we've
got some dad jokes for you thishour. So if you got a good
dad joke, get those ready.We'll be taking your calls and your texts.

(53:43):
Get you on the air with yourgood dad joke, good Friday stuff,
good passes, the Friday vibe check. You know, except for Sea
Bass. He hates them. Yeah, because they sucked. I'll tell you
there's a benefit to them, andI'm gonna share that with you too.
There's some signs behind Yeah, say, there's some good science behind dad joke.
It's good for your kids. Yeah, that doesn't apply to anybody in
this room, but yeah, they'regood for your kids. I'll tell you

(54:04):
about that. Rave's got some nerdnowt action for you. This is and
what's got y'all nerdy today? Raves, Well, your wife could take your
daughter to the movies this weekend,the Judy Bloom classic. Are you there,
God, it's me Margaret. Iwant to see you take your daughter.
Yeah. Rachel McAdams headslines the castcoming of age story, candid exploration

(54:30):
of life's biggest questions through the eyesof eleven year old Margaret. Ninety nine
percent from the critics on Rotten Tomatoesand one hundred percent from the audience.
Yeah, I love those books asa kid, Judy Bloom Beverly Clearly like
those I read all those kids.I didn't really, I wasn't much in
the books obviously, but yeah,those two authors I've read a lot.
Yeah, little kid Beverly Clear,you remember, I do I remember the

(54:53):
name? I don't. I mean, I know I read things I don't
remember. Superfun is the best supergenew to Netflix this week. John Malaney's
latest comedy special Baby Jay has beenout and it's been a long time since
season one, but now Sweet Toothseason two drops today. Disney Plus has

(55:13):
the latest retelling of Peter Pan.It's called Peter Pan and Wendy with Jude
Laws Captain Hook on Prime Video.The Russo Brothers have produced this new spy
show called Citadel with Parenka Chopper,Jonas, Richard Madden, Stanley Tucci,
and Ashley Cummings. First of all, Ashley HBO Max has Love and Death,
which is another story about Candy Montgomery. Uh, that Candy Montgomery you

(55:36):
might know in Texas. She washaving an affair with her neighbor and then
murdered his wife forty one times withan axe like one time murder one went
to jail forty how do you bringher back to life? And then murder?
Elizabeth Wilson plays Candy in the ReasestThing. There's a huge game release

(55:59):
today, Times Jedi Survivor, whichcontinues the story of Calcastus when we first
met in twenty nineteen. Star WarsJedi Fall in Order, and the reviews
ahead of the release have been awesome. But today for actual gameplay, we're
getting bad reports from users on Steamand PC. One Steam user reporting game

(56:22):
is extremely fun but performs terribly.One PC player reporting the concerning comments on
performance for PC are true. Othersare reporting crashes, graphical issues, and
unexpected airs. Now I haven't seenthis on next gen reports. You know,
I'm gonna play on Xbox Series Xand I haven't seen that for that

(56:44):
or PS five. Alright, butSteam and PC struggle might be real.
Greg, what Steam again? StarWars Jedi sive Computer version? Hey,
oh yeah, I mean Steam ison PC's for sure. Yeah, it's
on PC. Guardians of the Galaxythree had the red Carpet premiere this week,

(57:06):
and usually the review's coming out ofevent like this are over the top
and glowing, and there are abunch of those reviews, but there are
a bunch of reactions that are surprisinglytipid, a lot of reports saying the
movie's very uneven. Guess we'll findout next week. It is the end
of an era. The Late LateShow with James Gordon and did run after
eight years last night, and ifyou tuned in c Bass you did get

(57:28):
to see James Gordon get run overin the final edition of Crosswalk the Musical
Only it were real, which issomething they've been doing since twenty fifteen.
It's good too, yeah, overtakingintersections in la and annoying drivers with musical
performances. Adele Adele was the finalcarpool karaoke guests that they also had Harry
Styles, Will Ferrell and Tom Cruiseshowing up after twenty years. There's going

(57:53):
to be a sequel to Dodgeball Onetrue underdog story. Apparently, Vince Vaughan's
coming back is Peter, and it'sfrom an idea that he had. He
just needed to get Ben Stiller's approval. That's according to Justin Long. Peter,
but ben Stiller hadn't wanted to doit because saying it was very risky

(58:14):
because you don't want to ish onthe original. You want something just That's
true. The Good Sacred dodge Balland FX released some dates when shows are
coming back. What did you seemins comes back May twenty four, I
did, well is are you inthat episode? The premier Okay market Paperball?
And on the premiere there they're runningepisode one and two Wednesday, May

(58:36):
twenty four, the countdown begins.And the longest running live action comedy series,
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, premiereson June seventh on FX sixteenth.
Yeah I said, it's the longestrunning live action comedy series on TV.
Yeah, yeah, really so great, let's say at twelve time. Yeah,

(58:58):
I know, but like and bothshows premiere on Hulu the following day
Live action never mind, Ye yeahexactly. Simpsons is never gonna be caught.
It's the longest running show of alltime. I'm raven for more nerds
stuff. Check out the Nerd kNot podcast at the Woody Show. Do
all right, thank you very much, Rabi. We're gonna take a quick
break right and come back with yourdad jokes. Just a good, simple,

(59:22):
cheesy one liner. Dad joke.That's all we're looking for. Bringing
your best to the phones eight sevenseven forty four wood He is the phone
number, that's eight seven seven fortyfour Woody. If you got a good
dad joke or text over to twotwo nine eighty seven. We'll get to
those coming up next and I'll tellyou, uh there there's a benefit.
There's like a health benefit or emotionalbenefits for your kids when it comes to

(59:46):
up for dad jokes and uh yeah, I'll get into some of that detail
for your raft the break here onthe wood Show, Hang on. Coming
up next on the Woody Show.Maybe it'll be something like we're just getting
you know what I'm saying, I'mjust getting go enjoying myself or something much
darker. Yeah, I forget themto diet cares. Have you taken like
a bunch of photos now so thatyour daughter can put those up at her

(01:00:07):
wedding when you're gone? Ye,my dad would have loved have been here.
Yeah exactly, he said, ethic. So what do you show back
in a bit, And we gotsome dad jokes. Everybody seats loves the
dad jokes about it. Not allof them, I mean, you know,

(01:00:29):
some of them though, eight sevenseven forty four. That's eight seven
seven forty four. Wooding. Shareyour dad joke with us and we're ready
to go right to the phones.Good said Friday. Vibe thing dad jokes?
Oh, I wanted to tell you. This study said that dad jokes

(01:00:50):
have a positive effect on kids development. They say that when the fathers embarrassed
their children with unfunny jokes, itteaches them how to overcome awkwardness. Okay,
I can't see that. So bypushing your kids limits on how much
embarrassment they can handle shows them anembarrassment is common and not a big deal,
so keep them coming. By theway, did you hear about the
guy who got caught sealing a calendar? I didn't. No, Yeah,

(01:01:14):
he got twelve months kidding. You'vegot elves learned in school? What the
alphabet alphabet say? Hi to uhsee Kathy? Good morning, Kathy,
Good morning show, Good morning.All right, what's your dad joke?
What's the difference between chickpe and garbobeing something you can't stay on the radio?

(01:01:37):
Oh, you can't say it onthe radio. Go ahead. I've
never heard of anyone paying for herbonzo on your face? Okay, all
right, you're right, you throwit up? Yeah, all right,
thank you, Kathy. Do youknow what lights up a stadium? What's

(01:02:00):
that? What a soccer match?Let go to Becca, Good morning,
Becca, Becca, morning morning?All right? What's your dad joke?
Why does the cowboy get a footlong hot dog? Why did the cowboy
want a foot long hot dog?Why if he wants to get a lot
little doggie? All right, I'mgetting get along, little dog, gotcha?

(01:02:31):
Okay, Sorry, Becka, thankyou for the thank you delay delayed
getting all right? See bats?Whyn't you try one? Yeah? Greg
got one for you. Okay,let's hear a joke about pitpoles. Greg's
lesbian neighbors gave him a Rolex forhis birthday. Sweet. The thing is,
they misunderstood when Greg said I wantto watch classic good that's yeah,

(01:02:59):
that's good. All right, Let'slet's go to Let's go to Brian.
Good morning, brand morning morning.All right. What's your dad joke?
All right? Where does the littlemermaid put her purse? Where does the
little mermaid put her purse when shedrives? Where the under the sea?

(01:03:22):
All right, Brian, thank youfor they called my daughter would love me?
The one write that one down.Remember to tell her. You guys,
your mom asked me if your kidswere spoiled, and I told her
no, I think most kids smellthat way. Kidding. Yeah, that's
what you can use on your kids. Do you know the difference between a
poorly dressed man on a tricycle anda well dressed man on a bicycle?

(01:03:45):
What I do? Not a tire? A time? What do the lawyers
wear the court lawsuits? My wiferipped the blankets off me last night.
Oh oh yeah, but I covered. I finally bought my son his first
watch. It's about time. Eightseven seven, let's go to uh,

(01:04:12):
Zach Hay, good morning, Zachza Zach are you there? Yeah?
Okay, dad, joke? Whatyou got? Uh? What's a pirate
favorite letter? What is the piratesfavorite letter? What you're supposed to guess?
Oh, okay, z you're supposedto say R And then he said

(01:04:32):
something else? Okay, R Ryou think it is, but it's the
seed now, Zach. For featurereference, if somebody says, I don't
know what, you could say somethinglike you could if you would think it
would be R. But actually it'sthe cur like you're supposed to get you're

(01:04:56):
supposed to get Yeah, all right, Zach, thank for the call.
Hey, do you guys know whatyou call a pile of cats? A
pile of cats? Yeah? Whata neotin? Greg? You know you
can't tell, but I do havethe body of a porn star. You
do all my clothes a triple X? Yeah? Well, Woody, you

(01:05:18):
didn't know that my penis was inthe Guinness Book World Record. It was,
it was, but the librarian kepttelling me to take it out.
My massage therapist got fired. Yeah, I guess you rubbed too many people
the wrong way. Come on,see bats. How about another one,
Greg, what is the best positionfor lesbians? It's the best position.

(01:05:43):
I would have to venture sixty.No, it's shortstop getting to play?
Yeah? Uh? What do youcall a Mexican midget a paragraph? Because
he's too short to be an essay? If two vegans are fighting each other,
is it considered a beef? Whatto the ocean say to the beach?

(01:06:10):
Why not that it just waved?Goodie? Here's one from the eight
one eight. My wife told meto get in more in touch with my
feminine side, so I crashed thecar and I started to ignore her for
no reason. That's from Felipe goodone Felipe eight seven seven forty eight seven
seven forty four wing. Let's goto uh Zach, Hey, good morning,

(01:06:32):
Zach, you're good morning, goodmorning? All right? What's your
dad joke? All right? Whydo crows only get hit by truck?
Why do crows only get hit bytrucks? Why? Because they only know
how to say car, car?All right, Zach, Thanks for the

(01:06:55):
man, appreciate it. Let's goto UH Phil. Good morning, Phil,
morning. How are you guys weredoing grey? What's your dad joke?
How do you make your Kleenex dance? I think I know this one?
That's an oldie, but a goodieabout the book? All right,
Phil, thank you for the call? UH four one five. I had
a bad addiction to the hokey pokey. Oh yeah, I was able to

(01:07:18):
turn myself around. Revy, Whichone of King Arthur's knights built the round
table? Which one circumference? Greg? What do you get when you stick
your hand in a blenders? Ahandshake? Body? What has two butts

(01:07:39):
and kills people? What has twobutts and kills people? An ass acid?
How can you tell the difference betweena bull and a cow? Either
one or utter. See that's adelivery thing. Do I want them to

(01:08:01):
go on to work? Let's sayhi to James Morton. James, James,
good morning, we're doing grain.What's your dad joke? What did
it be? Says? What didthe be say to the sushi? What?

(01:08:23):
What's be getting the other way?James? How about this one?
You're right? I was dreaming abouthaving diarrhea and then I woke up.
Yeah, and that's when ish gotreal. I woke up. How did

(01:08:44):
how did the two cats and theirfight? How did they end their fight?
How they hissed and made up?All right? See dads take us
out? One last dad joke?All right, Greig again, what can
two lesbians do with their both ontheir period? After both on their period?
At least there's still a finger painting. There are your Friday down jokes,

(01:09:11):
everybody. You know, we're gonnatake a quick break. More Woody
shows next, heap, more Woodyshow after at least one of these commercials
makes you a millionaire. To raiseyour goldstraw. Diet starts Monday. Show
back in a bit like there's nomore turtling. You've gone as far as
you can go. Show well,coming up a Monday morning, we're gonna

(01:09:38):
be announcing all the details for ournext big event, which will be the
Woody Show. I can't believe wemade it nine whole years without getting fired
Fiesta, Wow, can't. We'regonna throw on a little bit of a
party and we want you to cometo. We have a band all lined
up for you that I think you'regonna like. It's gonna be a small,

(01:09:59):
little intimate kind of set up whereso it's not gonna be like,
tell you some big, huge venue. So it's good. I like doing
stuff like that, at least thebest, you know, could you give
you a chance to to I mean, for something like the Disney takeover,
there are thousands and thousands and thousandsof people in there, and so like
you don't get a chance to really, you know, interact with many people.

(01:10:20):
This is cool. Wee to hangout party. We're gonna have a
DJ. Scotty Fox not available.He's by the way, which is a
bummer. Yeah, So we gotsomebody who's gonna be yeah, his friend
and Magic Matt Magic, Matt MagicMatt. Have I met this guy?
I think so? Yeah, he'sdone stuff for us and that Okay,
yeah, anyway, but he's gonnabe holding things down while the band is

(01:10:43):
uh you know, getting ready,and then after the band wraps up,
we're gonna have uh, you know, just a lot of drinks like they
always do, just throwing down.We'll have all the details for you a
Monday morning, as far as likewho it's gonna be, where it's gonna
be, tickets when they go onsale, how you can win tickets,
what you can do all next weekyou're on the Woody Show, We're gonna
have a chance to win him beforeyou could buy them. And uh yeah,

(01:11:03):
that's Monday morning, all the detailson our fiesta, first time in
three years. Right, Yeah,I'm being able to do now, Greg,
you're all in for a fancy dinnermy favorite, whether it's one that
you host at your your lovely homeor you go out to a nice place.
Yes. Well, there's a companyin France. They've got these giant

(01:11:25):
balloons that they are sending up tothe edge of space. I'm out and
done, and there's a capsule underneaththat fits up to six people. Okay,
the whole trip is six hours,so for the first ninety minutes you're
ascending to around fifteen and a halfmiles off something like that, which this
will give you because Greg always sayslike, well, you're an airplane,

(01:11:46):
how come you just can't fly onehundred feet higher than the tallest thing that
you're gonna be flying over. Um, But this is three times higher than
commercial airplanes fly. That's how Ihappen anythings they fly too high, way
too high. You'll be above ninetyeight percent of the atmosphere. So the
whole sky will look black. Wow, fifteen miles is high enough to see

(01:12:08):
the curvature of the Earth, Sosuck on that flat Earth's it's not really
space. I mean fifteen miles up. Actual space starts around sixty miles.
So the edge of space edge ofyeah, I mean hyperbolic. Yeah,
there's no weightlessness, but I meanthe whole sky is black and you see
the curvature of the Earth. Idon't I don't consider that going to space.

(01:12:30):
I would do this. No,no, but don't tell me,
Oh, we're gonna send you tospace and put me in some stupid balloon.
This is the new thing. There'sso many companies doing this. Yeah,
I want the rocket launch. Itold you, I want weightlessness.
I want to be up there fortwenty four hours, and I want this
Amazon you know Blue Origin thing whereyou're up there for fifteen minutes. No,
I want to be up there forlike a one full day, and
then I want to experience the reentrythrough the Earth's atmosphere, like for there's

(01:12:54):
the fire outside. I've said thata million times. That's that's my ultimate
like dream when it comes to goingto space. But for this thing,
you're up there for like I said, six hours, ninety minutes up and
then you hang out for three hours, have dinner and drinks, and then
slowly descend for another ninety minutes.You can eat dinner on the ground.
They say the meals will be cookedby famous French chefs, but there's no

(01:13:16):
cooks or servers on board, justtwo pilots, so like prepared meals.
Yeah, so it's like a fancyreheated dinner. You're right. I wonder
if they have a bathroom up therenow, Greg, I know you're wondering.
How much is what I want toknow how much? How much it's
only one hundred and thirty two thousanddollars per person, or if you want
to book all six spots you cando that for eight hundred thousand money well

(01:13:41):
spent. Yeah. Man, Thefirst flights are scheduled for twenty twenty five.
I'll be happy to be somebody's guest. Oh god, I like that
to me would not be worth Iwouldn't pay one hundred and thirty two thousand
for that, No way, Iwould pay more than that for what I
described earlier, that trip, thattwenty four hour trip to space, I
would pay considerably more than that rightfor that experience. Wouldn't even do a

(01:14:03):
hot air balloon. I've done that, have you? Yeah? I didn't
know that. Yeah, it's fun. I would say for the first hour
were up there, like over twohours really, so the first hours like,
oh, like you're you know thatthat's gonna be kind of cool.
And you're up there and all youhear is the creak of the basket.
I would think every little basket jolt, cry, I would be my hair

(01:14:27):
and every like forty no, thankyou. My grandmother did one in Egypt
and they caught fire and she hadto tell the balloon person like, hey,
hey, what is fire? Right? Hey, balloon man, it's
on fire, on fire. Thefirst flight schedule for twenty twenty five.

(01:14:47):
They are taking reservations. It's reallyeasy. You hit them up and all
they asked for is an eleven thousanddollars deposit. That's pretty easy. Yeah,
simple. Yeah, it's like sendinga little deposit for dinner. Eleventh
thousand dollars. Well, I didthe I did the hot air balloon.
Uh huh. I did skydiving.I did a fly along with the Thunderbirds,

(01:15:09):
right, you know, with theAir Force, all things. I'd
never do it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I can get
great to go to space. Canthat's on the ground, That's true.
You're probably could be fun though,so much astronaut I screen Gregg, you
love it. It's the Woody Show. I don't know. I had a
screenshot of it in my head otherwiseknown as that memory man, just before

(01:15:31):
I'd had all these screenshots flash beforemy shot. This is the wood Show.
Quick quick hitters here for you.You know, talk about a swing.
After hitting a record price of almostsix dollars a dozen at the end
of last year, the average priceof a dozen eggs has dropped all the
way down to a dollar twenty six. Good eggs. It's over and it's

(01:15:57):
expected according to the market research,people to go even lower here in the
next few weeks to a dollar Yeah, a dollar a dozen, great,
so much key Yeah yeah, thosedays, guys, yes days. Ben
Marjara turned himself in to Pennsylvania StatePlaces. This time he ran into the

(01:16:20):
woods after eating some people up.Yeah. There he was calling his family
telling him that he hates them.Yeah. There's so many stories that I
don't even pay attention. Yeah right, because it's something new every other minute.
Uh, one of these, oneof these days here, soon he'll
turn up dead. I would likethis guy me, which sucks because so

(01:16:40):
many people have tried to help him. Yeah, well he would have already
happened then left it and help you, Stevo try to help him. Yeah,
like we mentioned, excuse me,bed Bath and Beyond, they're going
out of business and they stopped takingthose twenty percent off coupons this week.
But now two other stories, likelet's say you have a pile of him
the way that I know that wedid for a while in our house.
I don't know why you just savedthem, right, they never exploded them

(01:17:03):
someday and then the day that youended up Yeah, at the store,
you don't have it with you.Yeah, but like we always forget gift
cards if we're going out somewhere,like, oh yeah, we had a
gift card in this place, damnit. That's why you gotta do it,
Nacho does. Yeah, but littlewallet yeah yeah, but then she
always carry that with her, yeah, always, because we kept on going

(01:17:23):
to places and I'm like, wehave a gift card for this, yeah,
so I just bought her a specialWalt. It'd be cool if once
you could put them all on yourlike Apple wallet or whatever, so you
always have. Yeah, that'd bethat'd be nice. Anyway, if you
have these bed Bathroom Beyond coupons,which at this point are useless for bed
bathroom Beyond, Big Lots will takethem until you can get twenty percent off

(01:17:45):
any purchase of fifty dollars or more. But that's only in person, not
online, So that part you canappreciate that. I respect that you can
shop big Loots dot com. Well, I know, why wouldn't anybody For
folks who don't know Greg, BigLots is the what store is so depressing.
It's the most depressing. It's likeit's way below Oh yeah, it's
like a dollar store though, right, oh, or like a five below

(01:18:10):
kind of dollar store is like Bloomingdale'scompared with big loss stuff. Hate it.
They're always straight out of the sixties. They're so they're always unremodeled,
they're so depressing. Well, thelighting can be changed a little bit,
and it's something that I go intoit. But I bought a bed frame
there, loved it, really did. They always have a random crap,

(01:18:32):
like an ugly corduroy couch next toa display of cookies. I always drive
by big lots that I'm doing cartonarks and I'm like, oh, I
should stop in there. Then Ilook at the parking lot and there sits
empty. I don't know if Iever been in one. Now and now
I want to go and check itout, check it out. It was
our go to when I was akid because was writing into the Salvation Army
where my also, my poor assmom was shop. So I fit perfectly.

(01:18:56):
All right, Well, they'll takeyour bed, bathroom beyond coupons until
May seventh. And then the Containerstore, Oh so much organization. Well
yeah that place is nice and overpriced. Yeah, I don't know how they're
still business rageous. Yeah, soyou could use your Bedbath Beyond coupon there
get twenty percent off any single itemthrough May thirty first, and again this
is an in store only deal.Okay, so there you go. I

(01:19:18):
wonder what the cupons for bed Bathto beyond the twenty percent off, because
everything is ten percent off in thestore right now. So I wonder if
you can bind it to get likethirty percent off. You can't, because
I just told you they can't usehim anymore. They're not honoring them metal.
That was the story five days ago, which is why I'm following up
saying, hey, you know howthey're useless now, Bath and Beyond.
Do you hear they're going out ofbusiness? No? What I thought I

(01:19:42):
understood from your story that hey,you better use them before they go out
of business, gotcha, not dog? All right, whatever, I'm just
explaining what I thought, all right, got it? Thank you? Menace,
there's there's there's minutes everybody I startedwith they're going out of business,
and earlier this week they stopped takingthe coupons. However, these other places,

(01:20:04):
however, they're not useless now becauseyou can use them these two other
places, all right, legili allegedly, good morning, this Larry Wook Ups,
John Baker seven, Mary three fromChips. I understand it. The
Woody Show, which is one ofmy favorite radio shows. Woody is the
one with the attitude, So we'llmake Woody punch. Keep your tin up,

(01:20:26):
Woody, good luck on your show, and you're into another new hour
of insensitivity training, trade politically correctworld. It is Friday morning. Today
is April the twenty eight, twentytwenty three. Thank you so much for
being here giving us some of yourtime this morning. My name is Woody.
That is raving great glory, Goodmorning, Good morning, wood Menace

(01:20:47):
is here? What is up?Our social media director. I find us
and follow us at the Woody Showon Instagram and Twitter or on Facebook,
Facebook dot com, slash though.We've got Sea Bass, We've got Sammy
Hey Sport, Caroline Morgan all here. It is that time of the week.
We have all the redneck news storiesfor the week going head to heads

(01:21:08):
to find out who will be thered neck news story of the week.
Sam Blame Good, Sam Blacing Good, and you guys know how the competition

(01:21:29):
works. These are all of thestories from this week going head to head
for your votes. You're gonna listento all the nominees. Text the number
of the nominee that you think youwin the week over the two two nine
eight seven. We'll have until Mondaymorning. We'll leave the votes open through
the weekend, so everybody on thepodcast has a chance to get their vote
in. Right, here we go, nominee number one. This one's from

(01:21:50):
Nebraska where this car blew right througha red light, almost crashed into a
cop car. Oh not good,So of course the cop needs to pull
this driver over. Yeah, wantsto give him a ticket, but they
ended up getting more than that.The driver was this for forty five year
old honey named Maggie Welling, andthere was a fella in the passenger seat.

(01:22:13):
His name is Robert. Now,these two could have just rolled down
their window and yelled, we're doingillegal stuff over here, and it would
have been a lot quicker because whilethe cops talking to him, they noticed
a glass pipe that was on thefloor of the car, and so they're
like, well, now we're gonnaneed to search the car. And that's
when they found a bunch of drugs, like some meth, close to two

(01:22:35):
hundred prescription pills with no prescription.Of course, some magic mushrooms a second
glass pipe. So besides the carelessdriving charge they were also hit with a
bunch of drug charges and the uglystick. They got a free souvenir photo
when they got down to the policestation to get process. Check out her
mugshot in particular. Wow, that'sa good looking woman. Translation like throw

(01:23:00):
mama from the train the high schoolyears. He's about to cry. Yeah,
they're in there. They're mid forties. She looks like about definitely does
Yeah. And that is now anynumber one for your redneck news story of
the week, Not any number two. This one's from South Carolina where we
got this fellow named Alan Riggs.He lives with his ex wife why I

(01:23:26):
don't know, why did you dothat? But he does money. Yep.
They were both home one night,but they weren't alone. The ex
wife had her new boyfriend over andwhen they turned in for the night,
Alan was still up and he gotannoyed when he heard them get it on,
and he tried banging on the wallsto get him to knock it off,
but that didn't work, so heran to his car, got his
gun, came back inside and rackedit A couple of times right outside the

(01:23:50):
bedroom door. As he later toldthe police, quote an attempt to ruin
the mood. Huh. So theex girlfriend comes out to confront him.
He told her that if she wentback in there, you're gonna die.
Oh. At that point, Alanwalked back to the couch and played video
games. The new boyfriend heard whatwas going on out there, called the
cops. Alan arrest in charge withfelony domestic violence charges. And you know

(01:24:14):
that as soon as they took himaway, you know, was a bangathon
in that house. Ye were holdalone. He did tug awaite. They
probably had sex right there in thekitchen, did lucky. Oh. That
is nomintee number two for your rednecknews story of the week. And finally
nomintee number three. This one's fromWilliamsport, Pennsylvania, where the cops they

(01:24:36):
saw this car just randomly stopped atthis intersection. There was no traffic light,
no stop sign in sight. Theyjust stopped right there for no particular
reason. Cops thought that was alittle weird, so they pulled the guy
over to see what was up,and that's when they met this sixty to
two year old fellow named Cameron Bell. Yeah, This dude was a mess.
He failed a he Field to britytest and while they were arresting him,

(01:24:57):
they searched him and they found ahalf ounce of meth and a baggye
of crack in his sock. Alsohad a crack pipe in one of the
pockets of his pants. But Cameronwas insisting to the officers that there was
some kind of mistake. He wasinnocent. Oh yeah, he said he
didn't know how the drugs got intohis sock. And in fact, these

(01:25:18):
aren't even my pants, man,That's always the case. They asked two
of the pants belonged to He didn'tknow. I couldn't remember. You know
how that goes. That happened.We've all been there almost daily. So
he was taken to the county jail, charged with multiple crimes, including possession
of a controlled substance and DUI.Well damn, And that is nominee number

(01:25:39):
three and your nominees this week foryour Redneck News story of the week.
The voting is now open. Hewas going to text the number of the
nominee that you think should win theweek over to two two nine eight seven.
We're gonna have votes open until Mondaymorning, so everybody listens to the
podcast as a chance to get theirvotes in. You're gonna text the number

(01:26:00):
one for Maggie and Robbe they're inNebraska who almost crashed into a cop car
after blowing through a red light witha car full of drugs. Text one
over to two two nine eight seven. Text number two for the story about
mister Alan Riggs there in South Carolinawho got arrested trying to quote kill the
mood with his ex wife who hecould hear banging her new boyfriend in the

(01:26:23):
other room of the house. Theystill share wow Text two two two nine
eight seven, or text number threethe guy in Pennsylvania who was busted and
the cops found meth and crack inhis pants, but then he claimed didn't
know whose pants he was wearing.That's three over to two two nine eight
seven. We're gonna be voting openuntil Monday morning. Monday will have the

(01:26:45):
announcement who wins the week and moveson into the playoff round of the competition.
How people are food poisoning field asit has a whole Well, it's
the end of another month. Yougot eyes and it's time to look back
at the month it was this monthin audio for the month of April,

(01:27:06):
Sea Bass, curator of Clips,what he Got for Us and Sadly Yes.
This month brought the end of TheLate Late Show with James Cordon.
I haven't stopped crying, and I'msure you guys all saw it. There
were numerous musical numbers, great andshe shocked Sebast. You'll love this because
they posted about it on the TMZInstagram and all the Instagram comments are all

(01:27:30):
on your side about sorry. Ilooked at every story that mentioned that James
Cordon was leaving and under the commentsno positive, like everybody hates there's Cordon
fatigue for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's too much. I
think people kind of saw through it. In fact, I pulled up The
Daily Beast, who would think beon his side? They're not funny,
but it says this. Their headlinewas James Cordon's willingness to do just about

(01:27:53):
anything with famous people. Funny You'reunfunny. Sometimes veered into awkward territory,
but in rare moments he managed totranscend his shortcomings as a comedian. In
those rare moments. That being said, this clip from the final show I
think summarises things perfectly for James Gordon. It's unfathomable why they took a chancel
means to do this job. Iwill never understand it. Years later,

(01:28:17):
here we are all right, Wellhe's gone. I hope you die all
right, netlast a much better audiofor this month. I know we teased
us earlier in the month. Thereis a new song from flip Flop the
Clown. Oh heck yeah. Ifyou don't know who flip Flop the Clown
is, he is a clown whois a foot fetishist. Also not a
juggalo anymore. He had a fallingout with them. You can read about

(01:28:39):
it on flip Flop's website. Won'tdo It Yeah, and Taylor Swift.
I just read this article. TaylorSwift wishes that she had wrote this song.
They asked her his new song Beersand Toes and hold on. We
have a special message and special introflip Flop just for the Woody Show.
Boy, flip Flop the Clown,Bears and Toes. You're hearing it exclusively

(01:29:01):
here on The Woody Show. Yeah. I'm dedicating this song to my number
one fan, Raby. I hearthat you get a little while when you
drink hopefully like getting toes sucked aswell. I just want to drink some
beers. It sucks some to youborn with a footbah And that's how it

(01:29:25):
goes on one d mind. Nowas the air horn drink some beers and
sons exclusive sitting in the bootch atthe first beer on top with some fat
beet. Want to come over andsit on my face? Rare hornings far.

(01:29:47):
He lives in Miami, Raby.You have to go either travel one
way together. You gave him Raby'saddress, right, yeah, yeah,
yeah, he can't afford to findme. How dare you? Wow?
Blocked the clown on all platforms withthat song. He's gonna afford? Oh
you think you think it blows upthis month? In audio, all right,

(01:30:08):
we had some a bunch of schoolbus audio. This is one way
great trendy Jackie Miller. She's anold lady, old bus driver. Kids
are being dick sprayer with perfume.She had enough. Yeah, they're just
being dicks. They claim, Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.
And she had an ultimatum and athreat for them. I know I
can smell I. He didn't doanything of sick. I'm gonna start kicking

(01:30:30):
some serious thing, do you hearme? Yes, my foot's gonna be
so far off your goddamn yeah.And she was, I believe fired.
We have a update on her gofund me over one hundred and twenty thousand,
wow, to help her retire.There was that trauma. There was
the driver that passed out yea seven, the seventh grader that got to jump

(01:30:55):
behind the wheel. Yeah, stopshort. And then next bit of audio,
this is a school bus driver inColorado who is facing I don't know
what the deal is going to behere, but child cruelty and dang all
these charges because a bunch of littlekids were not in their seats and he
did a slight They people say theheadlines slams on the break A small break

(01:31:16):
check. I say it was abreak check. Yeah, small break check.
They kind of like lunch for theone kid that was up in his
seat, kind of falls over alittle bit, but not even really.
And here's the audio that you guys, that's why you need you. That's

(01:31:38):
right, Yeah, lifeless. Hewas the he was the filling guy too.
He was the substitute bus driver becausehe said the other bus driver he
told one of the angry parents,he, like, the driver has no
control over these kids. I bracedmyself to watch that video, thinking,
like up, really really like,I mean, it was nothing my dad

(01:31:58):
didn't to me when I was alittle kid. We were we were drive
around. He knew I wasn't inmy seat belt, so brea check,
I go screaming up in the frontof the van. I was just looking
to get off the van. Romanall right. This month in audio,
well we're speaking of kids. Wehave a man who's angry at a baby
and this is on this nice Yeah, yeah, this guy, he's right.
They were on their way to ourland. This baby's screaming for forty

(01:32:18):
five minutes because of the irresponsible parentscouldn't just wait till the baby gets older
to put it on a plane.And he had a bunch of bunch of
words for the baby and for theparents, including these baby. Yeah.

(01:32:45):
I don't know what happened to him. I think he was we have photos
or still should be banned from flying. I mean, yeah, that was
a bit hyperbolic. Slightly This monthat an understandable we had another guy an
airplane. Airline freakouts still trendy we'restill going with that. This is an
American flight where a guy was infirst class. They were boarding, and
according to the reports, he didnot like that he was not getting his

(01:33:06):
complimentary preflight drink Gay Sports. Heraised the rucast we don't have the ruckas
we just have that, the copsshowing up because it got that bad,
and then him not wanting to gooff. The cops finally grab him and
he took his luggage. First,they were like, oh, well,
he'll want to go chase that offthe plane. No. No, Then
it took his backpack. What dopeople think that? Okay, I'm sorry,

(01:33:27):
are you staying? Then they tookhis phone because he was like trying
to do the whole thing, like, even though he's being the douchebag,
he's going to record that for usto show like what dicks they are.
And then they took his phone andhe freaked out about that. Yeah,
very manly style. As he's draggedoff, they started crying. Adam clip

(01:33:56):
recently when he's talking about how thishas all happened, how how why are
we having all these airplanes? Heakouts, right, and he kind of
he was talking just about how thelevel of class and an airplane has gone
down and down and down and downand down. I think the analogy he
used was like he walks into theairport now and it looks like if someone
pulled a fire alarm at four amat a hotel. Everyone's shuffling around and
slippers and it's just like it's greyhound. Now it's essentially everything's greyhound. The

(01:34:20):
world of the level class has gonedown everywhere, everywhere everything. It would
be interesting if there is a differencewhen those sonic planes come out, like
you know, the really super fastplanes that are because the people who can
afford to afford to flying aren't showingup in their jammies. Yeah, so
we'll see if there's any fights onthose. But this guy who was freaking

(01:34:40):
out, he was in first classclass was dressed fine, So yeah,
I don't know. Maybe he's justgot he got some of that poor residue
on him in up already got comped. Yeah, maybe the month in audio,
so I clip what he found.It's a new TikTok trend. A
challenge. If, as it werea Greg girl, what's the challenge?
It challenges you line up your kidson video. You say, all right,

(01:35:01):
kids for TikTok, because that's whatcool moms do. Right. Unless
you say, say you're one favoritecurse word, you get this this,
you get a free pass whenever youwant. One word no repercussion. Repercussions
is an Australian mother. How's yourpie teak? And so she lines up.
She's got like a young girl,an older teenage girl, a couple
of kids in the middle of acouple of boys, and she was surprised

(01:35:24):
at the one boy's curse word.All right, guys, we're gonna give
you one time only to say whateverswear word you want with alcony any trouble
ready blake? That was poor hubhub that's a bad word. She was

(01:35:44):
like, how does he even knowit exists? Right? He? Of
course he blames the older sister onthat. What where'd you hear? Told
me that me? He said,for me to say it, Yeah,
he said, there's jugs on there. You can see jugs in babest At
what age did you become aware ofporn? I mean I found a magazine

(01:36:10):
by the creek, all nudy stuff. Probably because you know, um my
friend Melissa Horwitz, her dad hadPlayboy stashed under the sink in the bathroom
and she's like, you have tosee these hell yeah, something like actual
legit when not nudes. Oh um, and we tried to walk. We

(01:36:33):
ordered one in middle school. Yeahyeah, we ordered one when my friend's
house was getting some worked out andthis family was living in a hotel for
like a week. Yeah, andwe went over there when they were out
of the room, and then weordered one. And then we went downstairs
as like twelve year olds. Weactually donally ordered a like Batman or something.
I pay that in cash. Iactually accidentally saw porn through like a

(01:36:57):
screen door at like six years.It was a three zone. Like I
knew it was, you know,adult stuff, you know, obviously the
playboy stuff. And once I knewit was there, I had to use
the restroom a lot. But likeright there, yeah you could take a
look. Any kid can know,I mean kids shut your ears within three
seconds. Of course, you canhave the hard any kid with a phone

(01:37:20):
or any of course. Oh mygod, you thought I did a lot
of masturbating then had imagine now hadwe had these resources, I'm surprised.
Good lord, it's been gone.I rubbed it away. The cell phones
don't have kid mode, you know, like when you're giving because kids are

(01:37:40):
again what cell phones at eleven andtwelve these days? But even still like
the settings at kid mode. Yeah, kids figure out a way around all
that they do. We always didto make it slightly harder. All right,
this uh, this month in audio, guys, would you like to
hear another Australian accents the least.This man is living Greg's dream. He's
a TikToker. He runs a pestcontrol service DAP Best Control in Australia.

(01:38:00):
He woke up and he found oneof those cuddly little Huntsman spiders that was
your hand and it was snuggling upto him in one of his most private
areas. Your baby, I wokeup this morning, was something moving in
my pants and this Huntsman spot Iwas sleeping against my guy nads keep going
awesome warm. Look at the glyszerin its eye had a great all the

(01:38:21):
time. Listen the bubbles sleeping babything will kill you. They're not They're
not poisonous. I've just been asweeties just nuzzling up to you. Just
here, be a dude. Dude. We're going through the month in audio.
We're gonna take a quick break,and then we'll continue next. There's
so much in any given month thatwe can't just do it in one second.

(01:38:45):
I'm not gonna argue with you,and you're my kids. Some smack
Bouchers was whacken loosening it boatsts upin her face a little bit show welcome
back. We're going back through thismonth in audio. The month it was
April twenty twenty three. And whathave we got here? See bass or

(01:39:06):
clips to get Greg's baby juices flowing. This is a mom. Her name
is baby juice, baby juice,biological clock juice, that clock die.
This is a woman named Morgan whoshe gets spam calls, scam calls.
Greg hates those. When you gota little baby who can who starts starting

(01:39:27):
to learn how to talk, youcould just put the baby on the baby
loves talking, ye, sure,and they can occupy the scammers all day.
Let them handle it. Yeah,same way. You let him do
the dishes or take out the trashright easy, bacuum the house or whatever.
It's good stuff. You just puta mom with the the telemarketered person
done. He moan, ye areyou? How are you the owner?

(01:40:06):
Right? That's a really young voicesaid Morgu's World with an underscore. It
sucks like the scammers won't talk tome anymore? Why not? Man Dorgan
menace? I don't know when Iwhen I try to talk to them,
they just immediately hang out. Thatabout why bother with the call? If
they're just gonna hang up when youactually answer? Are they looking just for
old people you think they want to? I don't get it as someone who

(01:40:30):
had a telemarketing job for all ofI don't know, four days, right,
Um, I can tell you thatyou don't care. It's not like
you don't care who picks up.No, not about any of it.
So as long as you look likeyou're busy and you're on the phone and
you hang up, you you're killingtime, you know? So yeah,
what what? It doesn't matter tothem? I love talking to telemarketer is
different than scammer. Yes they are, they have they want. Oh yeah,

(01:40:56):
I'm a scammer for sure, butall act old next time. Yeah.
I didn't do telemarketing, but Idid a research where you had to
play the songs over the phone andget people's opinions. I never had a
job so much wanted that made mewant to smash a window and dive out
of it. Why you got toplay music people? Yeah, I have

(01:41:16):
that job. It sucked. Thismonth in audio another one for Greg.
If you have a little baby andshe's got, you know, a little
play set, and you can helpher pretend to cook some dinner in Adorable
Little Baby, a little tother I'llgrab like a metal bolt that's laying around
and maybe give you a little lovetap on the top of the head,
like this girl did to her Britishmother. No, why do you do

(01:41:43):
that? It's and one of Greg'sfavorite awards. It sounds like a cartoon
hit me. I don't know,all right? This month in audio,
All right, oh, let's doone more. But you know when they

(01:42:04):
when they grow older, as thesekids do, they might turn the tricks
on, yeah, or turn thetables, I should say. And this
is what this teenage girl did whenher grandmother came over and she's like,
oh, Grandma, can you grabsomething out of my top drawer? There
need some socks out of what Littledid she know the grandmother that the teenager
had hidden a deal door in thattop drawer for grandma to fine, Can

(01:42:27):
you just get Juliet what is that? Oh? Is that you can throw

(01:42:51):
it out? I have a tonmore stinks. My god. This month
in audio. Oh, it's somegreat redneck news. We're speaking of when
the kids, when they grew upin more greg they didn't come redneckt and
they do math and they're already.That's what this guy did in the Berry,
Florida. Blake tookman. He whathe got. He got naked,
he got greased up with peppermint oil. Blood. Was like jumping on a

(01:43:13):
trampoline. Run through backyardsol. That'swhen the body cam the you're about to
here the cops caught up with him. I got one running going westbound behind
just the fence. He's naked.He's in the pool. Okay, it's
like a paste. Yeah, mansmells like toothpaste when he went to jail.

(01:43:36):
Like you drain that pool right,oh yeah, you move. It's
like when someone poops in it,you know, Yeah, at least shock
it. Alright, God, justgallons and gowns of chloria. That's this
month in audio. You guys kidsright growing check. No, that's how

(01:44:14):
I'm thinking. The Friday turn up. What the Woody show. Well,
I've seen you've received your invitation,so happy you can make it to our
little on air party. That's allright, welcome everybody time for the weekend.
It is the Friday Turnout. We'vegot a good friend, DJ Scotty

(01:44:34):
Fox. He is here, heis in the mix. We've got you
on the text and on social mediachecking in Friday check ins on the text
over two two nine eight seven,tend over who you are? Give us
your name or anyone or anyone,anyone or anyone, anyone or anything you'd
like to have us mention where weget to your check in? What's you
got going on this weekend, whateverit is, and most importantly, where

(01:44:55):
you are, what part of townyou're listening to the Woody Show, where
you're turning up morning you're on allninety eight seven, or check in on
social media at the Only show onInstagram and Twitter. Just make sure you
hashtag with Friday turn Up. Ifyou're listening long distance with the I Heart
Radio app break Gore, it cantrack of all of no hold up very
clearly. Ready, just can't wait. It's like the dog on at the

(01:45:18):
back door Shirt off world. ItOh yeah, ready to get my shirts
off now nish your next Yeah,that's right. Let's go the Friday turn
up all ny eight seven good minded. I didn't do he says. This
is my last result. I shouldn'tbreathing before I can, he says,

(01:45:44):
He says, he says, Hesays, is my last pays all.
This is my last I shouldn't breathingbefore. This is my last reason.

(01:46:16):
This is my last reason. Thisis my last resong sason on this since

(01:46:45):
my last reason, the reason,Oh my god. It's fronting the furniture
out with DJ Scuddy Fox Swicky WickyWild World. On the way shore.
It said free bottom in air.It said free bottom in air. It

(01:47:10):
said free bottom in air. Bringingback it said free bottom in air.
It said free bottom in air.It said free bottom in air. Everybody
drunk. I can't go down drinkthe drinking. So I'm gonna decided times

(01:47:57):
the reland times. Time ain't die, ain't die. I can't no time
to time. I can't down,I don't out, I don't listen.

(01:48:35):
She's wishing to drink me so longto drink it decided. She's as remind
them of the time, and she'sa songster, remind them of the best
time. I can't no time.It is the Friday turn up. It's

(01:49:15):
all ninety eight seven. We arethe Woody Show. Happy Friday, everybody,
Yeah eight eight texting over hey,Woody Show, Friday check in.
Is my husband's fortieth birthday today,Happy Birthday Mark Mark and loves the Woody
Show. The fours sounds like somebody'sin for a birthday spanking. Yeah,
lucky guys said, you're Friday checkingon the text us up two two nine

(01:49:39):
eight seven. The destination from thehabitations of the town for now a place
we saw the lights to low,the jigsaw, jazz and the jip fresh
flow going out, chops and jamber, handouts, tables on the microphone,
bibbles and cans and just clap yourhands and just clap your hands, and
just clap your hands and just clapyour hand, lap your hand up,

(01:50:00):
your hand out, your hand out. Bye bye bye, pye pye pye
pye. Bye bye bye bye byebye bye bye. I'm gonna look at
the place. I want to pickthis garbage and what you're down the part
what do you show? Freddy turnedout never never dropping it like it's hot

(01:51:29):
over here. Yeah, it's likea good reference to use anymore might have
booty shake. Sure that's like ayoga, but I don't know what do
you use now? The Friday turnUp? It is The Woody Show.
Check ins on the text over totwo two nine eighty seven. Albert's in
rialto the nine o nine checking in. Also Mi gal in Newport Beach Lucky.

(01:51:50):
We've got let's see here, JayKwan. That's the rapper Bloma.
It's my birthday by e whol Guysgot a pro listening three checking in from
SpaceX HQ and Hawkthorn Awful. Who'schecking in on the social media? Over
there? Menace? What's up to? Aaron Daniel, Sarah, Victor,

(01:52:11):
Henry, Lisa, Patricia, Olivia, Tyler, Francine, Kelly, Catherine,
Paul, Zach, Kendra and Alexhashtag fire ternum at the Woody Show
on Twitter and Instagram. Yeah butyou got going on where part? Yeah?
You know what I'm saying. Oneo'clock d J Scotty Fox in the
mix The Friday Turn Up Boys Showa seven up turning up top Chop Chop

(01:53:04):
the rubber, don't what about alllooking pretty here and looking to party party

(01:53:30):
to chase freaks, beauty put choices, something put put, choicest joy faschoies,
push, choicest choes, sweet jeansand met of these mind to deside.

(01:53:53):
We travel the world and the sevenseas. Everybody still give us something
something want to use you something wantingease by something wants something, want to

(01:54:14):
be. When you run in themorning, duet, when you're ready the
morning, I'm getting. When you'rereading water because you read it water,
because you rush my fash your handsa frame shorts, place your hands,

(01:54:44):
frame shorts, your hands and praiseyour hands. I place your hands.
I had one boys, penous funnydrinks. The wood is your for Anny

(01:55:30):
turn out. M hmm, gota game. The ground full of angels
and teamers out. Hold the jinglesand hands so nobody gonna can reach the

(01:55:50):
sky with your face. M hmmmmndsand my market, that's what you can't

(01:56:32):
turn them bullets into wads. I'magain, I'm a bad education, shooting
side, blowing expectations. I'm justfacing the crowd of spectators to the sound

(01:57:17):
of the voice of the traitre.He looks, so I'm looking for ping
back and send a bullet proof back. Oh yeah, yeah, it is

(01:58:17):
the Friday turn up. Oh yeah, it's the Woody Show. It's all
ninety eight seven. That's some morepeople here checking in on the text over
the two two ninety seven. Letsget to Greg in those long distance check
in six five seven. We gothey Zeus, he's there in fullten.
He says, heck yeah, theFriday turn up. Yes, I think

(01:58:39):
you mean, oh yeah, yeahyeah. We got Extina Miller at blush
La on Melrose in Hollywood. I'dbe Friday Bitches with a Z. She
says, yea and says little loveto her husband Fred. All right,
Fred Fred eight one eight Sepody shows, I'm celebrating the fact that I got

(01:59:00):
rid of an ingrown toenail that waskilling me. Happy Friday. Yeah,
it's exciting horns there. And we'vegot Todd checking in. Todd Edwards from
Riverside, California, repping on thetext over to two two nine eight seven.
Ask got some people listening long distancewho are checking in there on the
iHeart Radio app today, we gotFernando checking in from Redwood City, California,

(01:59:23):
Taylor in Saint Louis, Chris andLincoln, Nebraska. He would like
to point out guys that it's effingFriday. Oh yeah, Cody and Sydney,
Montana, Tyler and Houston, Zachand de Moine, Jeff and Anchorage,
Alaska. And our longest distance checkingis Jerry on vacation in Stockholm,
Sweden. Yah yeah, I will. How about one more time for DJ

(01:59:47):
Scotty Fox once again doing a greatjob for us here. Yeah, we
got the continuation of two hours ofcommercial free all out of eight seven music.
It's already begun the morning music marathon. If you're thinking about us over
the weekend, we want to leaveus a message eight seven seven forty four
Woody for the after hours voicemail,or to leave us a drunk Doyle voicemail.

(02:00:09):
Whatever you need from us yea firstimpression of hotline eight seven seven forty
four Woody, thank you so muchfor giving the Woody Show some of your
valuable time this week. No,we love it to appreciate you for that.
The rest of you guys can suckit and we'll catch you back here
on Monday. Have a great weekend. SMD double m five A great Friday.
You mother,