Into Your Head

Neal explains the flight simulator windscreen wiper dilemma, bemoans the poor design of the human lower skull, wonders if it’s lawful for dogs to eat themselves, compares Schubert’s The Trout to Masterchef Junior, recalls early childhood experiences of cutlery and daisies, considers why you’d play pitch and putt on a full size golf simulator, frets about his motives for raising a...

Neal compares your child to the Mona Lisa, throws a spanner in the works of the stopped clock twice a day cliche, reveals why a TV free family would pivot to compulsory viewing targets, wonders if homing pigeons suffer from Stockholm Syndrome, tries to understand porridge people, recalls the post-war heyday of sugary cereals, tells how to distinguish tea from coffee, proposes cutting out the ...

Neal recalls a justifiable childhood fear of igloos, explains why whistlers should be seen and not heard, celebrates half a century of not learning to swim, invents a way to trick drone enthusiasts while keeping everyone happy,  illuminates the bottom of a well for a short retreat, questions the habits of the owl community, asks why pet snake owners are like that, considers how to fatten yourself ...

Neal imagines how Houston eggheads work the problem in a crisis, worries about what happens the first time you see an ocean, recommends escalator maintenance as the perfect career choice, publicly admonishes his brain for creating the same thought twice, warns about shoes and spectacles losing adhesion during a stroke, reveals the most unappreciated miraculous substance in your home, marvels at how pil...

Neal warns scout leaders about their responsibility regarding the eventual death of the sun, demands a compulsory national bone registry for dog owners. issues a stark warning about tiny front gate book libraries, tries to figure out how fishes reproduce, looks at a problematic character on Criminal Minds, staunchly defends so called light pollution, asks if dogs can commit crimes of passion, considers...

Neal takes the so-called grilled cheese sandwich down a peg or two, recommends a new way to use toothpaste, explains why it’s someone else’s turn to watch the news now, asks if not seeing the shark really makes it scarier, wonders how long you’re going to live, sheds light on the higher power of convenience foods, assesses the outcome of last week’s dog segment ban and discusses...

Neal imposes a temporary self ban on dog anatomy talk, tracks TV’s most misleading puppet housing depiction, considers the downside of commercial breaks on baby monitors, asks if the uncultured can enjoy the movie Whiplash (2014), changes your mind about prison exercise yards, warns of the mortal risks of foot washing, gives you an new appreciation of empty stairwells, recalls the snobbery surrou...

Neal explains how it’s possible to be of sound mind yet not think about buffet breakfasts much despite your name being Buffet, and looks at the armpits of the leg world, the human trunk, the argument for smoking assistance dogs, toe stubbing advice for people just starting a family, TV gas safety commercials, why toe models worry too much, the inherent problem with shoe industry toe stubbing stat...

Neal reviews his list of helpful animal TV shows with surprising additions, illuminates the double life of the consultant surgeon, looks at the pros and cons of taking pets through Customs in stasis, explores pre-surgery bathing, considers how Australians feel about how we feel about their popular culture, reveals why he seldom speaks his own name on this show, explains why you must never cut your dog&...

Neal wonders how dog rehab works, goes over what happens when you leave hospital without clothes, documents a decades old fake cinema facade with which you might identify, recalls the last time he learned something (2003), asks if opposable thumbs are worth the trouble, issues a stark warning about your waste disposal contraption, clarifies how Lighthouse entrance halls work, considers how emergency se...

Neal maps the future of the traditional white haired action villain, explains why governments would love to mandate toe typewriters, tries to describe a mysterious part of Dublin’s city centre using Theoretical Physics, conjures a talking cat to explain the mechanics of speaking without vocal cords, defends Edwyn Collins’ incorrect inflexions in Addidas World, relates a defining childhood m...

SLIGHTLY CRACKLY SOUND IN PLACES. Neal considers how to talk to your child about Devil Gate Drive, explains how the bow and arrow were the Dark Ages equivalent of a kid with glasses, reveals the best career to pursue for omnipresence, explores the logistics of being seen dead in an IKEA, celebrates his old dinosaur mirror’s scientific endorsement and looks at a 1980s music warning label, tricycle...

Neal addreses the perennial Kermit problem, exposes the diplomatic minefield of haunted White House guest rooms, sets out the considerable differences between smokers and cat owners, looks at the practicalities of camping and installing igloos in industrial fridge freezers and discusses cold brew coffee and beer, Pigs in Space, dogs in space, understanding space rockets, moving Lincoln’s ghost, c...

Neal critiques Superman’s flying and rescue techniques, offers strategies for baby bird flying lessons, wonders how slaves got promoted to gladiators, looks at how Hollywood’s need for PG certs curtailed snack design, considers communion wafer strategies, uncovers what coin operated toy cars quietly taught us, shares his special use for double yellow lines as a vision impaired pedestrian, c...

Neal comes to some realisations about Metallica and Chevy Chase, goes over a personal experiment involving TikTok, reveals the most depressing movie ending ever and looks at snuff film inception levels, manual sneezing, why cheese is wasted as a breakfast item, Catch 22, Nazi style burning of audiobooks, life on an island on a lake on an island on a lake, mistaking Community for Fraggle Rock, boun...

Neal considers a particularly violent fruit, raw milk enthusiasts, Mercury retrograde versus holy water, an appalling game called Punch Buggy, Steve Martin’s several careers, George Formby grill and discography, salmon weirdness in the education system, Fionn McCumhaill and the mythological salmon of knowledge, a week of leaks, breakages and cat death, the case for reinventing the wheel, why coff...

Apologies for more muffled voice than usual, due to minor mouthal injury. Neal staunchly defends the business practices of J. Wellington Wimpy, explains why your dog would prefer you didn’t drink from puddles, uncovers parallels between The Truman Show (1998) and Elvis Presley, looks at parking arrangements on car ferries, reveals his childhood cordory trouser hack and discusses full length front...

In a movie length episode Neal assesses Warren Buffet’s breakfast habits, wonders if lickable screens could take some workload off his dying retinas, belatedly learns what RV stands for, considers the feasibility of working from home in a jungle, looks at regulating child operated lemonade stands, begrudges right handed touch typists, explains how TV procedural drama mavericks are kept in ch...

Despite some sub par sound quality in parts, Neal proposes an innovative Star Trek spin off, wonders if dogs are powered by four legs or two, disambiguates Whoopee! comic, whoopee cushions and Whoopi Goldberg, considers the natural resting state for a human hand, demystifies the traditional motor funeral cortege, makes the surprising case for transparent mains sewage pipes, uncovers the strange logisti...