Cussler Hustlers

More terrorists! More special forces! And finally, VIOLENCE! ...almost! We're so, so close to the violence, everyone. Please don't go. Dirk schools the best of the best of the best about icebergs. Hala makes some terrible, terrible relationship choices. Yazid and Topiltzin are betrayed by their 23 And Me results. Ultra-high-altitude covert reconnaissance flights are the ideal location for self-love. Will Ammar get away with it, or ...

The Lady Flamborough pulls a David Copperfield out of Uruguay and flees to the Antarctic! You don't need to be suspicious of anyone with a gun as a political conference, because clearly they're SUPPOSED to be there! Dirk has some off-screen couch loving while his dad's being press-ganged into an elite terrorist organization! Mexico prepares to invade the United States! This book is BONKERS... and yet, it all still just feels like s...

Things are really picking up the pace (finally!) Al and Dirk trade pithy one liners while terrorizing a world leader. A car chase leads to an 80's wacky sex romp movie. Topiltzin is more, and somehow less, than he seems. Two thirds of the named characters all end up on the same luxury liner in Uruguay. Legions of unnamed goons get merked like lambs to the slaughter. American foreign policy continues to be "Let's offer to murder som...

Mister Dirk Goes On Holiday! We think he deserves a little bit of a break, don't you? Cussler sure does, because we spend almost the entire episode hanging out with the movers and shakers in the American government, the various evil Egyptian terrorists, and setting up the next big setpiece: a cruise ship in Uruguay! OF COURSE! It's so obvious! Finally, though, Dirk makes a comeback and immediately loses his true love: this book's S...

Our wettest episode ever! Also a day late, due to catastrophic computer failure.  We get more American intrigue, in the form of several high-level government briefings that would probably work fine as tweets in 2025. We get lots of backstory about the Library of Alexandria, from a bonus character we'll probably never see again. We get Dirk being a petulant child about having to answer to the Pentagon. Also, we learn one of the most...

The scope of our story expands to TWO countries trying to overthrow themselves, and America! Why would they do that? Who knows! What are their methods? Vague and mysterious! Are they religious fundamentalists? Of course, that was the only kind of bad guy you had in the 80s! Other than filthy Commies, of course, and... oh, they're here, too. Would you look at that! Dirk attempts some high speed archaeology. A diplomat realizes why i...

Shorter episode this week, due to technical difficulties and being busy adults with many important things to do. Probably a good place to stop, though, since we get into a LOT of Mexican and Egyptian intrigue next week and have to introduce like ten new characters (Cussler Mexico and Egypt. Any relation to actual countries is purely coincidental). This week, Dirk asks out three extremely attractive women with head trauma, and cleve...

Full disclosure: we apologize for starting a new Clive Cussler book during these troubled times. A shocking plane crash, crazy discourse about Greenland, unrest in Israel, declaring war on Mexico? We expect these sorts of things in real life, NOT in a Dirk Pitt adventure! The producers responsible for this tragic lapse in oversight have been sacked. In the meantime, please try to enjoy this episode and focus on all the sexy, sexy a...

It's a future episode... literally! Cohost Topper takes a break from Cussler to tell you about some of the other books he enjoys, namely the Zoey Ashe trilogy from Jason Pargin! He's not just good at picking titles for books, he's pretty good at the actual books themselves.  This episode is largely spoiler free, because Cohost Nancy hasn't read them yet (and after this episode, she just might!) Also, Editing Topper would like to ap...

We did it! In our traditional mad dash for the finish line, we throw the astronauts aside and dive headlong into Russia's cruel oppression of Cuba, and America's magnanimous generosity in restoring Cuban independence! You read that right! Also, there's some side plot involving a boat called the "Cy.... clops?" and some golden statue. I dunno, didn't seem to have much to do with the rest of the book. Nancy is freezing. California is...

Happy New Year! We very nearly managed to get this episode out on time, and that's our gift to YOU, the listener! Three separate plots crash together at the fourteenth hour: space shuttles invading Cuba, communists invading Cuba, and America invading Cuba! Which invasion will succeed? Will Dirk Pitt finally get called up to the major leagues? Will Jessie ever find some clothes? Will we ever see Secret Agent Santa Claus again? Find ...

We're back! We're jacked! Nancy's microphone sounds great and mine's being weird! But we cover an ENTIRE SECTION of this dang book for once, with a record low number of tangents. Dirk enjoys his Caribbean cruise. The Inner Core enjoys the smell of mall peanuts. Helga spends a couple decades at the pool, plotting her revenge. The Russians fight The Moon Men, and of course America comes out on top. Nancy fights off the legions of Pod...

It's the Communist Torture Spectacular this week! EVERYONE gets tortured... except Dirk Pitt, who merely engages in multiple battles of wit (some of which leave him urinating fun rainbow colors, but that's neither here nor there). He also goes for a healthy, bracing constitutional to take in the crisp sea air. Really, this might be his best vacation ever. This episode was brought to you by REPAER. -

Twitter: ⁠https://www.twitter.co...

Today, Nancy and Topper penetrate your defences with our fat observations on Clive Cussler's Cyclops! The action is ramping up on three fronts: a Cuban military outpost, a secretive Washington cabal of science billionaires, and THE MOOOOOON! We spend a truly unfortunate amount of time talking about television through the ages, the proper way to carry your Man Bride across the threshold, and the history of [redacted]. We're also sti...

We here at Cussler Hustler Enterprises would like to apologize for the poor taste exhibited in this section of the book, where a hurricane gains unprecedented speed and power in the middle of the Caribbean. Those responsible for misusing the weather weapons have been sacked. In the meantime, please enjoy this episode where we laugh at dangly body parts, admire Secret Agent Santa Claus, and wonder where all the tarmac naps have gone...

Act One of Cyclops is... talking. And meetings. And discussions. And conversations. And research. And exposition. And-... well, let's just say not a lot HAPPENS. But don't worry, this is actually a good thing! Clive is front-loading the boring stuff, and keeping it fairly swift and breezy, because the action is about to get bonkers. Secret Agent Santa takes on the Moon Men. Russia loses their own Moon Men. Cuba seems to have acquir...

NEW SEASON! New shenanigans! New treasure! New intrigue! When the book opened with a zeppelin disaster, both Nancy and Topper regressed to their childhoods and got lost in the inflatable nostalgia. There's a billionaire colony on the moon, a super-sized Russian moon lander, a bunch of frozen mystery corpses, and a sunken coal ship that might have the key to all of it. Drunk morticians, autism-coded detectives, and a formerly-brainw...

It's a beach episode! Nancy and Topper kick back and revisit the six books that have brought us to the dizzying heights of podcast greatness: Mediterranean Caper, Iceberg!, Raise the Titanic!, Vixen-03, Night Probe!, and Pacific Vortex. We get a couple things wrong, we're shocked by what DOES stick around a year or more later, and we give everything an objective scientific rating that will no doubt stand the test of time and be ref...