What You Do

What would you do if a $1200 drone landed in your backyard? Clearly, you would set it on fire. I give you the latest on the hantavirus, and did you know chimps can predict the weather? Two pilots have been grounded because they were drawing penises in the sky. Real estate prices are coming down, and a man is in jail because he tried to claim ownership of a boat in honor of Donald Trump. It appears you can’t smoke pot in your home a...

A cop car raced a civilian while on duty, and he’s in trouble? We celebrate our moms today, and what’s the weirdest thing you witnessed someone eat? A cat got stuck in a recliner chair because he didn’t want to go to the vet, plus another idiot stole a fire truck, so guess where he is. A teenager was caught licking straws and putting them back in the straw dispenser because he thought it was funny for his social media; he’s facing ...

Who wants to buy the Scarface mansion? It’s available. Did you hear the one about the gator who checks in at the bank? Plus, ghosting shitty friends is all the rage. Las Vegas is saying goodbye to an old friend, and I give you the ultimate way to spoil your dog. I pose the question, what is your most irrational fear, and beware of pump switching, which is a real thing. I give you the case of the curious cabinets, and then I wrap it...

Want to sleep better? Put your phone away; way away. Did you hear? Coachella was making people sick with $25 dollar slices of pizza, and driving a Toyota Supra does not give you permission to go 123 mph. A woman was accidentally paid $20,000 by mistake, and she tried to keep it. Wanna start your day off right? Take a walk first thing in the morning, plus a woman trashed a Subway restaurant because they didn’t put peppers on her san...

Today I give you the top 10 worst songs by actors, and winning a 167 million in the lottery won’t save you from being a pig. A guy was shot by his own dog, and the cops don’t seem to buy it, plus a guy stole a 30-ton excavator which took him straight to jail. If all humans disappeared from the earth, which animal species would rule, and rage booking is all the rage. She tried to pull one over on the government and it didn’t work, p...

A female sheriff deputy has resigned because she was selling foot fetish porn online, and what is something you tried once and will never do again? What is the perfect fast-food meal, plus, is being filthy rich morally wrong? Are you a conversation narcissist, and many cities that young people visit during spring break have had it up to here, and they’re saying, “don’t come here.” Are engagement rings worth it, plus how would you l...

Syrup and the 10 freeway don’t go together; that has now been proven. Remember the Galaxy trifold phone? No one else does either, and here’s some good advice, do not offer a cash tip to a judge, especially when the money is counterfeit. Have you ever tried goat yoga? No, then how about snake yoga? And if you have a cat, make sure you know where your hair ties are at all times. If you enjoy listening to your devices without headphon...

A woman freaks out when she discovers how many women her boyfriend had slept with, and would you like to improve your sleep? Stop scrolling on social media hours before bed. A guy smashes into a parked cop car because he was watching Youtube on his phone, plus what are the greatest moments in your life? I’ll give you other people’s top 10. Would you buy a house that doesn’t come with a bedroom? As a population, we’ve apparently had...

Breakfast at Denny’s apparently comes with an unwanted side of sausage, and what wedding moment screamed the couple isn’t going to last? Plus, the cost of owning a car is exploding, and golf cart crashes are rampant in Florida. Did you know camels have beauty pageants? And camels cheating is rampant. If you want a clean airline seat, you’re going to have to pay for it. Hey guys, there’s a new thing called Baldmaxx, and some men are...

Would you drink water from your toilet bowl? Many people are lining up to do exactly that. I give you the most annoying traits of a backseat driver, and a naked man stole an ambulance and there was a patient on the gurney in the back, who wasn’t naked. Fan voting is under way for the rock and roll hall of fame and I give you the top 5 so far, and details on a delivery robot who goes rogue and tears up parts of a neighborhood. A guy...

A woman is in jail because she beaned her husband with a jar of pickles, along with a teacher who is in jail because she threw her shoe at a student, which I assume you’re not supposed to do. Behold, the laundry folding robot, not to be outdone by the family cat who added something special to the pot of dinner soup. Five reasons to never live with a guy, yet they say we should go to bed at the same time as our spouse. It appears Vi...

The top 5 Valentines gifts that women didn’t want to receive, and scientists are warning not to have sex in space, so don’t. Have you ever texted someone while having sex? Well college students are, and do you and your spouse engage in temperature wars? I’ll explain that. What’s something everybody romanticizes, but in truth is terrible, and which country celebrates the fact that their women have the biggest breasts? A woman was tr...

A Massachusetts man got rid of the snow on his roof with a blowtorch; things didn’t go well. Keeping financial secrets inside a marriage is as bad as physical cheating, and if you live in France, you no longer have to have sex with your spouse, and that’s a law. A dude wanted to lose 200 pounds, so he locked himself inside his bedroom for a year, and we’ve just discovered, it’s a bad idea to crack your neck with your hand, and I me...

A Florida teen attacked his mother with a pork chop, plus I give you the top 5 most hated teams in sports. Most everything you need to know about the Super Bowl and Americans are fatter than we have ever been in our history; how great is that? We will all learn what “house hushing” is, plus a man drove his car for several miles, all while his car was literally on fire. Apparently, Armageddon has never been closer, and Chucky ...

There was a food fight on an airplane, and shit got ugly. A lady is dating identical twins and they’re living together. Have you burped your home yet? I’ll explain that. We have the top 5 most promiscuous countries, and the US ain’t one of them. How much are SuperBowl tickets, and you’ll be surprised to hear that most of us live in a world of sticky notes. I know I do. In the event that you’re into it, I give you the stronges...

A flock of sheep invade a grocery store looking for acorns, like most of us do, and speaking of critters, squirrels can always find their nuts, and I’ll let that statement speak for itself. A woman was stopped for speeding at 3am and she was completely butt-ass naked, plus, a man tried to rob a grocery store and HE was also completely naked; and those two stories are unrelated. What NFL fans are the drunkest at games, and is drinki...

Expensive weddings aren’t worth it; many of them end in divorce. If you’re going to cheat on your spouse, don’t go to a restaurant where they have surveillance cameras…DUH! A fortune teller couldn’t foresee his own arrest, and space junk is causing us problems in more ways than you know. Your thinking of plastic surgery? Guess where the filler they use comes from? You want to test the strength of your new relationship? Take a week-...

Next time you see a piggy bank at a Goodwill store, buy it! Tara Reid’s claim that someone spiked her drink doesn’t make any sense. Pickleball has taken over America, and I give you the unhappiest workers in the country and where they live. What jobs are harder than most people think, and details on the latest concept is that a college degree simply isn’t worth the money or the time. An 86-year-old man got a ticket for spitting, pl...

Along with the usual Christmas show shenanigans, I also give you the top 5 movies of the year, and Time magazine has chosen the 2025 person of the year, and it’s not me. There’s a new piece of Star Wars memorabilia that sold for a record 3.875 million, and a woman gives birth in a driverless car. How many days should a guest stay in your house during the holidays before the place starts to smell, and we deal with Christmas songs th...