Trans-Real News
The best news, forecasts, and travel advisories for psychonautic travelers on the Astral Plane. (for Mature Audiences)
Episodes
March 27, 2024 • 7 mins
The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’30”) This Week’s Sponsor (2’13”) Learn all about Rejoice! The meme-complex that lets you escape reality from the comfort of your own chair! Statement from the Union of Chaos Wizards: (4’07”) We claim no responsibility for the current state of responsibility! We take no control over other peoples inability […]
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March 29, 2024 • 6 mins
In which monsters stir, barbarians rampage, depravity is delayed, the Trans-Real News team suffers a tragic loss, and Klie defames some goats. The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’31”) This Week’s Sponsor (2’25”) Justin Black Cultural Engineers tell you how to get your underlings to lick your boots and think it was their idea Interview […]
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April 1, 2024 • 6 mins
In which warfare breaks out over the being under Ularu, Someone is stealing heads, the Barbarians call a moot, a week on repeat, the late 20th century is coming in, Death is not the End… if you have the money, insectoids breeding in the Televistic Slime have an offer for you, and Klie is dubious […]
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April 3, 2024 • 6 mins
In which Retrograde Dynamics pulls its usual awful stunts, Reality warfare in Atlanta, GA has subsided, Hellions protest Upper Planar refugees, the Televistic Slime continues to grow. Double Monday is behind us, the outlook is positive, because Happiness is Mandatory. Vaporix helps you do many things… but what is it? The Union of Doomsayers makes […]
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April 5, 2024 • 6 mins
In which events in Ularu get more violent, the Hive can make a fine beverage, the Time Moot concludes, Torg is banished. a Kid is literally knocked into next Tuesday. Utopias, Retrogressive habits in the forecast. The Authorities repeat themselves. There is no Snu-Snu at the Time Moot. The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’49”) […]
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April 8, 2024 • 6 mins
In which Vogonis causes an ecological disaster, a search continues for the boy punched into the wrong Tuesday, disappointment in prophecies are discussed, as are books. Bad vibrations ahead. The Ularu constabulary responds to the chaos, and Klie suggests Quantum Flux diving. The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’46”) This Week’s Sponsor (2’40”) Retrograde Dynamics […]
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April 10, 2024 • 7 mins
In which Vogon’is quits the field of battle, Freelance Police go after the head thieves with extreme prejudice, and Retrograde Dynamics crushes Vogon’is in Australia; Depressing time distortions ahead, the Doomsayers babble, and Klie suggests places to go to be depressed. The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’41”) This Week’s Sponsor (2’26”) Dr. Flieschmesser of […]
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April 12, 2024 • 6 mins
In which a lost child is found, peace returns in Australia, Hell goes under Martial law, and cyberterrorists declare war on stupidity, good old-fashioned vibrations are on the way, Vogon’is defends their retreat, Travel is tricky, Klie gives you the skinny on places not to go. The News in Brief Timespace Forecast (1’41”) This Week’s […]
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April 15, 2024 • 9 mins
In which Freelance police bust up a bowling alley, coffee shortages cause Damn Ego to despair, and experts speculate on the growth of The Slime, feelgood retro vibrations are strong. Loving Perspective offers you the perfect companion, Yaron Ioron discusses his return from the dead, and klie offers some advice on coffee smuggling. The News […]
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April 17, 2024 • 9 mins
This Special Report episode of Trans-Real news describes the history of Trans-Real News, from its inception in 2006 as a Livejournal project to its new incarnation as a podcast. Trans-Real News is an evolution of an older Livejournal podcast called “The Timespace Forecast” which included a very bizarre cast, including Hopi Kachina dancers with time […]
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April 19, 2024 • 7 mins
Eldritch horrors awaken beneath Ularu and goes to battle with magical girls, XIbalba in flames, the Head Mafia collects a few of their own, expect raining blood in Australia, the Chaos Wizards deny shennanigans, Kile invites you to see the Quantum Flux Diving championships, and a mic is left on accidentally. The News in Brief […]
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April 22, 2024 • 7 mins
News Brief Timespace Forecast (1’15”) Increased reality storms or even superstorms coming in. The best material for an irreality readiness kit: Our Sponsor (2’55”) Tul O’Phala has the magic that works! Reasonable resurrection services for you or your loved ones. Advisories (3’40”) Captured Conversation on a Hot Mic (5’00”) [Yaron] Klie, glad to see you […]
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April 24, 2024 • 8 mins
The conflict in Ularu is finally over, and Retrograde Dynamics’ super-girls are going on tour as a pop band. Reality storms build toward a superstorm; weirdness reaches a new peak. A message from some talking lobsters. The news staff struggles with stories. News Brief Timespace Forecast (1’43”) The storm is spreading globally. 3‽ storm over […]
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April 26, 2024 • 7 mins
In which America and Canada are battered by a reality superstorm, and Walter gets carried away. News Brief (0’12”) Special Report with Walter Haversquirrel (1’47”) I hear you, Toby! I am on the scene where a storm that has now reached an unprecedented 4.8 cuil has just turned much of Aptos into a carboniferous swamp […]
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April 29, 2024 • 15 mins
The West Coast picks up the pieces, Desperately seeking Walter, settling into a new reality, a sexy case for sentry robots, and how to deal with a reality emergency. News Brief Timespace Forecast (2’04”) This Week’s Sponsor (3’07”) Bob and Ashley tell all about Apocalypse Inc.’s Guard Dog portable sentry turret. Statement from the Authorities […]
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May 1, 2024 • 10 mins
In which the board replaces Walter, Televisitc Slime=based plastics meet with controversy, Barbarians settle the Western Front, the New Normal is established, The Authorities rebuke TRN, and Klie talks rock & rockets. News Brief Timespace Forecast Our Sponsor Tune into the Reverz network to check out Mindbender, the show where Cartesian metaphysics meets sadism. A […]
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May 3, 2024 • 13 mins
In which Yaron breaks Tu’Ophala’s dirty secrets, New Normal is finally established, and Klie tells you about new exploration opportunities. News Brief Timespace Forecast (1’52”) This Week’s Sponsor (3’02”) Donna’s Bionics Removal offers you cloned replaces for that unwanted chrome. Exclusive Report With Yaron Ioron (4’24”) We have it on good authority that Tul’Ophala, the […]
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May 6, 2024 • 10 mins
The lower planes are closed off, the slime is disappearing, and the Head Mafia surrenders. Torg notes an uptick in conquistadors and time confusion. The horde is on the move. Yaron interviews the Freelance Police, but something happens. Necromantic cults are advised to expect a hail of gunfire. News Brief (0’22”) Timespace Forecast (2’11”) Our […]
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May 8, 2024 • 10 mins
Strange cacti spread across Australia, GenX resists existential dread, game devs flee spies, Incan fashion is in, hackers threaten the Doomsayers again, & Klie tells you about non-euclidean luge. News Brief (22″) Forecast (2’34”) Our Sponsor (3’39”) A sneak preview of the upcoming album from Sabaku No-Ken Otome: Clash! from Retrograde Records. A Statement from […]
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