Adventures of Des and Cort
Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between. In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is off-limits. But this podcast isn't just about Des and Cort—it's a celebration of the sisterhood and camaraderie that binds women together. Through their candid discussions and relatable anecdotes, they aim to create a safe and welcoming space where listeners can see themselves reflected, find solidarity, and perhaps glean a nugget of wisdom or two. So whether you're in need of a good laugh, a shoulder to lean on, or simply seeking connection with kindred spirits, tune in to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast. Because life's greatest journey is best traveled with a friend by your side
Episodes
Welcome to Kegels, Convicts & Cash, the episode where Des and Cort prove that literally nothing is off-limits. We start with prison pen pals (because our algorithms think we need one) then slide right into the world of Kegel games with their very own app (yes, there’s an app for that 💪🍑). Somewhere between clenching and cringing, we bury our heads in the sand about life’s simplest tasks, only to pop back up drea...
We’ve all heard it before 🙄 the side comments, the judgment, the “you’re just taking the easy way out.” This week, we’re setting the record straight. 💥
✨ Hot Flashes of the Week:
– People who text demanding things with zero greeting… rude. 😒📱
– Our smartwatches owning our souls. If it doesn’t get tracked, did it even happen? 🕒🏃♀️⌚
💉 Then we dive into something real: our year on Tirzepatide. No shame. No stigm...
⛳️ From serious golf tourneys to serious meltdowns about spouses and rule-sticklers, we’re spilling it all this week. Turns out trying new things is terrifying… until it’s not and then it’s the best time ever. 💃✨
📱 We also call ourselves out (ruthlessly) for doom-scrolling like it’s a full-time job and make a pact to put the damn phones down. Balance, babes.
💤 Des even had a dream so real it almost broke up...
This week, we accidentally audition for a true crime podcast.
It starts with Des trying to sell her car and ends with a total stranger taking it solo for a “test drive” which apparently included picking up her kid from daycare, running errands, and leaving us stranded for an hour.
In between plotting how to file a police report without sounding like idiots, we cover:
💩 shitty customer service
😳 why we ge...
Don’t let the title fool you, this episode is anything but a bore. Unless you’re our IT department, in which case… please call us back. Again. For the third time. 😤💻
This week, we’re serving up proud mom vibes and chaotic ramblings, per usual:
👩👧👦 Our kids are out here thriving and making us emotional! One started her dream job at a salon right next to our office (so we’ll be stalking her daily), another is flyin...
We may not be honor students, but we are women of wisdom, wine, and wildly off-topic rambles. 💃🏼🍷
This week, your favorite harlots got a little harmonious about the things we didn’t care enough about in school and the adult-ed classes we deserve now. Think: zero tests, zero grades, and absolutely no homework. Just learning, laughing, and sipping a cab sav while discussing the French Revolution and how to set boundar...
We’re not bad friends, we’re efficient friends. The show-up-when-it-matters, no-fluff, no daily check-ins or long mushy texts, but we’ll absolutely show up when it counts. Need a ride? We’re there. Need a hype woman? Done. Need to emotionally unpack? Don’t do it too often.
This week’s lineup of hot chaos includes:
🚗 Cort’s Peaceful Era (Unless She’s Driving): She’s evolved into a calm, grounded woman… unless you’re goi...
When life gives you lemons and a leaky floaty… complain just loud enough and your very own Uncle Alan might show up with a Crown Royal bag full of change and a firm “Go buy the damn thing.”
This week’s episode is a chaotic cocktail of:
🔥 Hot Flashes:
– Dogs puking like it’s their job
– AI-generated texts that sound like a robot wrote them mid-panic attack
– People who clearly didn’t proofread before hitting...
This week, we're tossing judgment, shame, and any lingering dignity straight into the f*ckit bucket and honestly, it’s getting full. 😅
👩👧👦 First up: dad jokes. Des came in hot with classics like “pullin’ chocks” and “pinchin’ a loaf” and we’re 99% sure our kids now plan to emancipate themselves. Mission accomplished. 💩✌️
💋 Then we dive into the spicy world of couples being extremely authentic online. Like, ...
Some people get a glow-up and immediately forget they were ever crusty. 🙃
In this episode, we talk about the high horse Olympics. Those folks who were broke, struggling, or overweight five minutes ago and now act like they invented success. 🐴✨ Cool it, Carol. Just because you’ve got veneers and a gym membership doesn’t mean you get to shame someone still in the trenches. Humility called, and it’s wondering where you ...
This week’s episode is brought to you by hot flashes and hotter takes 🔥
Cort’s still fired up over Idaho’s worst drivers (and giving them a piece of her mind in her car ALONE), and Des is in a full-blown rage spiral over those preachy “I’m better than you” posts. 🚨 We get it, you're holier than thou and so cool (but still weirdly posting trying to be relatable?).
We chat about how scrolling first thing in the mor...
🎙 Got The Morbs
This week, Des has the morbs (aka a 19th-century case of the blahs), Cort’s high on wedding dress joy, and Zeek the cat has returned from his mysterious sabbatical like he didn’t ghost the entire family. Classic cat behavior. 🐾
We dive into the emotional rollercoaster of wedding dress shopping for Cort’s daughter (yes, we cried), the return of the strawberry moon and how it's apparently the closes...
This week, we’re reporting live from the Buddy Bench…population: us. After our big golf league dreams ended with just the two of us sipping drinks alone on the patio, we realized maybe we’re not everyone's cup of Arnold Palmer. But hey, we crack ourselves up, so it’s fine. 😅⛳🍹
We chat:
🐱 Zeek the cat’s midlife crisis. He’s gone missing and were not sure if he went back to his other family. Um, rude?
🛣️...
⛳️ Golf league started and somehow we’ve Freaky Friday’d into each other’s personalities — Cort’s the rule-reading golf scholar and Des is out here raw-dogging the fairway with a vodka soda and vibes. 😵💫
We talk about:
🚙 The sacred art of road trip snacking (and why a $100 gas station haul is basically therapy)
😩 The soul-crushing feeling of coming home after a trip
🫠 The Handmaid’s Tale finale… we ar...
In this episode, we unpack a senior moment that led Des to accidentally download something that made her computer scream for help (the internet is a scary place, folks). We also attempt to navigate the absolute emotional landmine that is… being given a compliment. Like, what do you want us to do, smile? Say thank you?? Our imposter syndrome said no.
We also catch up on the Handmaid’s Tale (no spoilers, but we’re still...
We laughed, we ranted, we asked trees for emotional support. 🌳😭
This week’s episode is brought to you by exhaustion, unhinged headlines, and the absolute audacity of people who park like they’re in a bumper car arena. 🚗💥
We’re coming down from the post-event high (read: crash), which means everything annoys us just a little bit more than usual. Like family members putting things where they do not belong 😤 or sucky ...
🚨 Warning: We’re operating at peak delusion this week and honestly? It’s working for us. 😎✨
In this episode of Delulu Is The Only Solulu, we unravel the pure chaos that is planning a golf tournament 🏌️♀️⛳ (if spreadsheets were edible, we’d be stress-snacking on them). But mark our words—we’re about to host the best damn golf event this town has ever seen 💅💥.
We chat about how the mental load we carry as women is W...
This week’s episode is full of ✨closet meltdowns, chaotic would-you-rathers, and a surprising amount of bathroom talk,✨you're welcome in advance.
We kick things off with a fashion crisis. Shopping when your brain is running on 47 tabs and a half-charged mental battery? Impossible. 🧠 Des is loyal to her high-rise jeans…but not too baggy, please! Cort, on the other hand, has a torso the length of a crouton and high...
🚨 BOLO!🚨
(Be On the Lookout…Cort just realized what that means and we’re never letting it go 🤣)
In this episode, we’re covering all the chaos, cringe, and country living struggles you never knew you needed. Cort kicks us off with a HOT (literally) flash about losing power in the middle of nowhere 🏡⚡aka, no water, no showers, and lots of questioning life choices. Because when you're on a well system, power outag...
🚀 Buckle up, Besties this episode is flying straight to the moon…and it’s full of hot flashes, high brows, and zero tolerance for bad behavior. 😤🔥
This week, we’re ranting about disrespectful kids on the golf course (WHERE are your parents? ⛳️👀), and shady corporations dragging small businesses to try and keep your business (the audacity 🙄💼).
We romanticize the heck out of life 💐🎶✨ because when you pretend you’r...
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