The Angsty Pod

This episode starts with me getting kicked out of my house and ends with me rolling around in bed with someone from my past. Oh, by the way, I'm 17. 

Things at home are the worst they've ever been, but my parents are almost completely absent from this one. I'm left to my own devices and surprise, surprise, chaos ensues.

Join me as I reminisce about my first "grown-up" date where we sit on his bed and watch So...

Content notes: This episode mentions suicidal ideation multiple times. Take good care!! 

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After a lil break, I'm back with another episode and this one SHOOK me. I turn 17 and get completely black out drunk and basically decide to RUIN my life. I am bursting at the seams with jealousy and when my anger causes a big friendship rupture, I turn to... you guessed it... cocaine! to soothe my heart.

The toxicity level in my relations...

In this episode, I share my first experience using hard drugs and what it was like to have my boyfriend call me a "dirty dirty e-head" in front of all my friends. I am self-conscious about my clothes, worried that what I wear will start a fight. I am drinking everything in sight and things at home are getting really, really bad. I can't concentrate at school, but for the first time, I wonder about my future - Will I ...

I'm taking a pause from my regular scheduled programming to bring you a special episode about the life and death of my dog, Gnowee. 

In this episode, I share tons of memories from the day I adopted Gnowee right up until her death. I share a little bit about what she taught me and how I've been handling the grief of her passing.

Gnowee died on May 5th, 2025 and will forever be remembered as the sweetest, calmest, coolest, si...

It's summer 2004 and I am learning everything I can about how to be a anxious/avoidant-attached-codependent... and I'm ACING IT. I miss my friends terribly and start telling my diary about my fantasies of being on my own and then SPOILER ALERT: my boyfriend reads my diary! 

This episode has ALL the drama, betrayal, love, friendship, and loneliness. I'm accused of cheating and I'm comforted all in the same page. I...

Content Notes: This episode contains mentions of suicide, drug use, disordered eating, death, and other potentially triggering topics. Please take gentle care while listening. <3

In this episode, I have a long chat with my pal jp! We met in April 2024 when we both stumbled into the same writing workshop. Our connection was immediate, and shortly after, jp hired me to help edit their book of poems—the rest is history!

jp thorn (he/...

Content Notes: This episode mentions self-harm, drug/alcohol abuse, and sexual assault. Please take gentle care while listening. <3

It's summer 2004 and I'm working my afterschool job as an egg picker at a local farm. When I'm not at work or school, I am spending every waking moment getting high and drunk. Oh, and did I mention, I aM sO LiKe iN LoVe?!?! 

A lot of things came to the surface in this episode but the ma...

It's 2018 and I'm on the very tail end of my five-week adventure in Thailand. I've been teasing it for a few weeks and today is the day I finally share the full story of my best love story (and, as a special treat, I read a rough draft of my Modern Love essay!) 

In this episode, I spontaneously decide to read from page 97/98 of my memoir, Salt and Sour, because there is an important story that is allllll connected. Oh...

I've just arrived to Koh Samui, Thailand. It's a quiet island and I am as lonely as one could ever be - there are no humans (except my sweet neighbor, Rod) and I've got a wretched sunburn. I share two stories of when I trusted a random stranger - one went well and one went sideways. I get suuuuper introspective and write and write and write. Spoiler Alert: this episode ends on a cliffhanger and I last minute decide t...

It's early 2019 and I've just arrived in Thailand. I'm staying with my best friend who is, like me, a bit of a mess but trying to hold it all together. We eat until we can't eat anymore, walk until we can't walk anymore, sweat until... you get the idea. In this episode, I uncover the real reason why I went to Thailand and it's only partially selfish. I pine for a good man back home who I am weeks away ...

This episode is an absolute rollercoaster. I've just turned 16 and am spending every waking moment of my life (when I'm not in Driver's Ed!) with my uber possessive/moody boyfriend. I haven't seen my friends in months. Both my parents are M.I.A. which just leaves me and my boyfriend, making out all over the place. Make sure you listen to this one til the end because I share one of my most favourite stories which...

In part two of this two-part episode, my lover Siva and I cuddle up in his basement and record a super sweet episode that makes my heart sing. This episode is a departure from the usual angst, but don't worry... it's still full of big emotions, drama, and laughs.

In this episode, it is November 2021, and Siva and I have just met for a friendly coffee date where we think we are agreeing to become good friends, but...

In part one of this two-part episode, my lover Siva and I cuddle up in his basement and record a super sweet episode that makes my heart sing. This episode is a departure from the usual angst, but don't worry... it's still full of big emotions, drama, and laughs.

I read diary entries from our first, second, and third date, and we discuss how it felt when I broke things off with him. Then, we both tell the story ...

It's January 2004. I'm 15 going on 30 and am falling for the boy-next-door who sells pot and has sideburns. We spend our days making out and quoting Mall Rats. We are falling hopelessly while we try to navigate the rollercoaster that is our young love. Hormones rage. Jealousy rages. Our love blooms and brawls.

In this episode, I share the embarrassing story of the first time I saw/touched a p*nis and then just a ...

I'm 15 going on 16 and about to fall in love for what feels like the hundredth time. But this time, something feels different. I'm scared to get vulnerable with Grant because "what if he wastes all his goodness on me." There are too many love triangles to count in this one... my bestie is crushing on my ex, the love of my life is in love with someone else, the guy who might like me used to like my sister... it&a...

"Writing is less about filling the page and more about discovery..."

I am very into Julie Fontes as a writer and as a hilarious, sweet, genuine human being. My interview with her went in every direction imaginable... we candidly chat about ED, sobriety, toxic relationships, the life of a writer, social media addiction, mental wellness, and more. I personally love how this conversation just flowed and flowed and I...

It's the summer of grade 9 and I am throwing my bestie a surprise birthday party. It's very pop-and-chips - a bunch of kids just playing games and fighting in the pool. At the party, my mom reveals something that changes the course of my childhood forever. Also, in this episode, I am struggling with my sister's weight loss/ED and swooning over too many boys. It's a wild ride and you'll need your seatbelt fo...

I'm halfway through my first year of high school. I'm about to break up with my first boyfriend (Nick Lachey from Episode 8!) but not before I enter into a super weird love triangle with my friend, who I will call "J," who is 6 years older than me. I have moved on from O-Town and am very into Dashboard Confessional and quote them to my journal every chance I get. I hate the way I look in the mirror and cry about...

I've just entered highschool and had my first real kiss AND my first real boyfriend so basically, total chaos. My friendships are unravelling, my parents are fighting. My OCD and ED are on fire but no one knows except me and my dear old diary.

This one is a goodie and less intense than the last few. I hope you all enjoy it!

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To read more about my friend Austen's story, you can go here: https://cmh...