Black and White and Gold

Some people will look at all of this (gestures to the whole world) and say, “Gee…looks like patriarchy is everywhere, that must mean God meant it to be that way.”

But friends, we’re a little smarter than that by now, yes? Let’s look closer at some other options, today, particularly talking about matriarchies.

What are they? Where are they? When are they? Get the point? Let’s discuss and see how and when the “opposite” of patriarchy ...

Though what we call “Purity Culture” has tentacles in many generations, it seems to have a significantly deep effect on younger the Gen-X and Millennial generations. Purity Rings and pledges, Daddy-Daughter balls, girls being taught by church leaders that they were “walking pornography,” and thousands of other examples of teachings ingrained into the minds of children and youth have an effect…and if you’re taking mental health into...

We don’t want to talk about such a painful topic without offering help to heal. This episode is all about that.

We also mention stickers. You can shop stickers (and all sorts of other things!) on Carly’s website.

Shadow questions for healing:

What parts of yourself have you been told are too much?

What parts of yourself have you been told are not enough?

Where have you silenced your voice because you were afraid of being shamed or ju...

This conversation is split in two parts. The first discusses how one of the greatest harms of patriarchy is that it forces us to split from our own selves. The second, how we can work to repair that split to heal. Join us next week for the second piece!

Be warned, we don’t mince words: this is a harmful system that benefits many of us on some level, but does more harm in the process. We discuss the silencing of voices, the internali...

This conversation was so fun to have two self-proclaimed “nice guys” talking about how living up to the standard set in a patriarchal society has both helped them and hurt them.

Steve has even transitioned into the life coaching space, primarily helping men from a similar background and mindset to navigate their relationships.

Steve's Website: stevethatchercoaching.com

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Ah, the double-standard.

The way the double-standards play out in a patriarchy are part of the reason we still uphold it. Because…let’s be honest…everyone benefits somehow. I know, I know…that’s not what we want to hear, and maybe there are things I’m missing (spoiler alert: there definitely are), but there are ways people of all genders benefit from a patriarchal system.

It just prioritizes men. and further than that, a very parti...

EDIT: Rebecca’s new book, Raising Trans Kids: What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This is available to purchase. You can also purchase/donate through her website (linked below), with the option of purchasing to donate to a family or community in need. We also recommend you ask your local library to purchase a copy for community use (I did this morning, and it took be about 3 minutes to request, and about an hour for them to c...

Flipping the tables on Carly this time…Rob asks all the questions without any heads-up on what they are. This is a raw, emotional take on that current moment of Carly’s story as she begins to see patriarchal structures for what they are—and how that changed literally everything.

For those who grew up being taught a more egalitarian way, it may be foreign to see how some of us struggle to understand the dynamics…but when you have ne...

I had it in my mind that I wanted to interview Valerie Hamaker of Latter Day Struggles, but was torn between talking about faith crisis for Season 2, or patriarchy for Season 3. When she offered to meet with us in the wake of their resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I knew it needed to be about patriarchy…as it’s fingers were all over their story, and the faith crisis/transition narrative tells itself...

Season 3 is here!

In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of patriarchy, exploring its definitions, manifestations, and implications in society. We discuss the importance of understanding patriarchy not just as a system that is inherent to benefits men, but as a structure that can be harmful to all genders. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection and engagement in discussions about gender roles, representat...

In this episode, we dive into the intricate tapestry of family dynamics and religious expectations with Carly’s cousin-in-law (that’s a thing…promise), Abbie. Abbie shares her personal journey of navigating her upbringing within the church, the challenges of balancing personal beliefs with familial expectations, and the profound impact these experiences have had on her family life. Join us as we explore the complexities of faith, i...

Our last episode of the official Season 2! We will be back again with weekly episodes starting on August 7.

We are looking to interview experts in the different aspects of patriarchal systems…know someone? Send them our info. We’d love to chat!

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LDS Faith Crisis Report PDF (complete)

Includes the graphs we reference...

Summary

In this conversation, Trevor McGinty shares his journey of faith transition, detailing his upbringing in the church, experiences during his mission, and the challenges faced in his marriage and family life. He discusses the complexities of church leadership interactions, the expectations of church involvement, and the personal struggles that led to questioning his faith and the church's history. Trevor's story highlights the...

As we sat down with Emilie and Ashlie, it was like talking to old friends. Never mind that Emilie and Carly grew up in the same valley at the same time, several parts of all of our stories had intersecting points.

In this conversation, we explore the intersection of personal growth, faith, and LGBTQ+ experiences. We discuss navigating relationships within the church and the evolution of understanding faith, highlighting how spiritu...

This conversation explores a conversation with Jason and Jennifer Shelton, our old neighbors. Jason grew up in the Jehovah's Witness faith and later left it, fell into addiction, and has emerged on the other side living a sober, family-filled, loving life.

They discuss the challenges of growing up in a high-expectation religion, including the impact of shunning, the struggle for personal identity paired with the deep desire to main...

In this enlightening conversation, Jess Lee shares her journey of ancestral connection and spiritual identity, transitioning from her upbringing in the LDS faith to embracing a pagan belief system. The discussion explores the nuances of genealogy versus ancestral work, the importance of honoring one's ancestors, and the challenges of generational healing. Jess emphasizes the need for open communication and understanding in navigati...