Jack Tame: My takeaways from the birth of my son

In the end, it was just over an hour.

Just over an hour between being asleep on the floor of Auckland hospital, to standing, bewildered under the delivery suite lights, helping to dress my newborn son.

Mava had been induced on Sunday – the scans had suggested that all was ok but that our baby was small for his age. We spent an oddly serene day waiting for the induction medication to kick in. They give you a dose every two hours until you go into labour but sometimes it takes a few hours to work and sometimes it takes days. It was actually lovely, in a way. Mava and I both read for hours in-between the doses. We went for coffee and a stroll in the domain, Mava constantly assessing baby’s every shift and every hint of a contraction.

My goodness, though, when it happened... it happened. Zero to one hundred. A blur. 

I won’t labour you with all of the details but it’s become clear to me that there's a reason every parent has a birth story.  It was surreal. It just felt like a week’s worth of crazy experiences happened in the space of fifteen minutes. It was beautiful, wild, traumatic, thrilling... it was animal. All these things. 

Mava was incredible. I felt so proud of her, and yet so helpless at the same time. 

And weirdly through it all, I felt calm. I’m not bragging. I’m not saying calmness was a good response – honestly I was probably just a bit stunned – and it turned out our son was too when he came out. They hurried him off and chucked him on the oxygen and he regained his colour. I took my cues from our amazing midwife and the other hospital staff. She wasn’t freaking out too much and so I didn’t either. 

The scans were right – our son was small for his gestational age. But he what lacked in size he made up for in his capacity to feed. There can be no doubt he has inherited my skin tone, my hair colour, and my appetite. This morning is the longest I’ve been away from him in his life, but at five days old I know him well enough to know that right now he is probably feeding.  Isn’t it incredible how instinct works? Out of the womb, almost blind, and yet he absolutely throws himself at the boob. Head back, mouth wide, latch! Who taught him that?! 

A few random takeaways:

1) The placenta. Wow. That thing could feed a family of four. 

2) We had three nights in hospital and a couple more in Birthcare afterwards. If our experience of the New Zealand healthcare system this week is anything to go by, it is being completely held together by migrant workers: Indians, Filipinos, Europeans, South Americans, Pasifika... they were fantastic. For all the justified concern over the health care system as a whole, we had a really positive experience and felt so grateful to the people working in what are often very tricky conditions. 

3) Women's bodies, eh? To have the capacity to grow an entire human being, from his skinny little frog legs folded up at his belly, to his tiny little fingernails to the lightest fur on his pink little cheeks. To grow him, birth him, and then, having done it all, having done everything... to immediately switch to nourishing him day and night.

What can I tell you about our son? He’s got his mum’s eyes. He sucks his thumb. His first music was the Koln Concert and he made sure to stay up to watch Will Young and Tom Latham  score centuries against Pakistan. His name will be finalised soon enough. When he’s bulked up a bit, he’s got a long list of visitors waiting to meet him, too. 

After five nights away, yesterday I put our son in his carseat and drove him home. His older brother ran home from school and cuddled him on the couch. Through the madness and exhaustion of the week, running on caffeine, sugar, and love, we sat there together, a family. It was perfect.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack team podcast
from News Talks at b And.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
In the end, it was just over an hour, just
over an hour between being asleep on the floor of
Auckland Hospital to standing bewildered under the delivery sweet lights
helping to dress my newborn son. Marv had been induced
on Sunday. The scans had suggested that all was okay,
but that our baby was a wee bit small for

(00:34):
his gestational age, and we spent an oddly serene day
waiting for the induction medication to kick in. You know,
they give you a like a dose of the stuff
every two hours until you go into labor, but sometimes
it takes a few hours to work, and sometimes it
can take days. It was actually it was weird. It

(00:55):
was kind of lovely in a way. Marv and I
just had a really chill day. We both read for
hours in between the doses. We went for coffee, we
went for a stroll in the domain Marva com instantly
assessing babies every shift and every hint of a contraction.
My goodness, though when it happened, it happened zero to

(01:17):
one hundred a blur. I won't I won't labor you
sing with all the details. But well, it's become clear
to me that there is a reason every parent has
a birth story. It was just it was surreal. It
felt like a week's worth of crazy experiences happened in

(01:38):
the space of about fifteen minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
It was beautiful, it was it was violent, it was
it was wild, it was it was traumatic, it was thrilling,
it was it was animal, It was all these, all
these different things.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Marve was incredible, she was amazing. I felt so proud
of her and yet so helpless at the same time.
And weirdly, through it all, I felt kind of calm.
I'm not bragging about that. I'm not saying that calmness
was a good response. Honestly, I was probably just a
bit stunned. And it turned out that our son was too.

(02:16):
When he came out, they had to hurry him off
and chuck him on the oxygen, and he regained his
color soon enough. I kind of took my cues from
the from our amazing midwife and from the other hospital
staff who were standing around. They weren't freaking out too much,
and so I didn't either. The scans were write our
son was small, for his gestational age about five and

(02:38):
a half pounds, so two and a half kges at
a turn baby. But what he lacked in size he
made up for in his capacity to feed. Once he
joined us. There can be no doubt he has inherited
my skin tone, my hair color, and my appetite. This
morning is the longest that I've been away from him

(03:00):
in his life, but at five days old, I know
him well enough to know that right now he is
probably feeding. And isn't it amazing how instinct works out
of the womb, almost totally blind, and yet he absolutely
throws himself at the boob, head back, mouth wide latch.

(03:21):
Who taught him that? Okay, I've got a few random
takeaways from the week. Number one the placenta. Wow, I
mean that thing could feed a family, for my goodness.
Number two, we had three nights in hospital and a
couple more in birthcare afterwards. And if our experience of

(03:43):
the New Zealand healthcare system this week has anything to
go by, it is being almost completely held together by
migrant workers, Indian people, Filipinos, Europeans, South Americans, pacifica. They
were fantastic and for all the justified concerns over the
healthcare system as a whole. We had a really positive

(04:05):
experience and just felt so grateful, so grateful to the
people who were working in what can often be very
tricky conditions. And my number three takeaway women's bodies. Oh
my goodness. I mean men might think, oh, we can
run a bit faster, or we can jump a bit higher,

(04:26):
but honestly, women's bodies to have the capacity to grow
an entire human being from his skinny little frog legs
folded up to his belly, to his tiny little fingernails,
to the lightest fur on his pink little cheeks, to
grow him, birth him, and then, having done it all,
having done everything, to immediately switch to nourishing him day

(04:51):
and night, hour after hour after hour. What can I
tell you about our son? Well, I think he's got
his mum's eyes. He sucks his thumb. His first music
was the Coln Concert and he made sure to stay
up to watch Will Young and Tom Latham score centuries
against Pakistan. His name is going to be finalized soon enough,

(05:15):
and when he's bulked up a bit, he's got a
long list of visitors waiting to meet him too. After
five nights away yesterday, I put our son in his
car seat and drove him home. His older brother ran
home from school and cuddled him on the couch. Through
the madness and exhaustion of the week, running on caffeine,
sugar and love. We sat there together, a family, and

(05:38):
it was perfect.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
For more from Saturday Morning with Jack Tame. Listen live
to newstalks ' b from nine am Saturday, or follow
the podcast on iHeartRadio.