Men Seeking Calm.

Episode Recap – MEN SEEKING CALM - Blaming Her - with Greg Martin

In This Episode: Greg Martin dives deep into one of the most common mental traps that keep men stuck — Blaming Her and offers practical insights for getting unstuck. Today’s episode is about spotting the story in your head before it hijacks your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• Why blame erodes intimacy and s...

In today’s episode, we dive deep into a sneaky and exhausting thinking trap: Personalization (Me-Blame) — the mental habit of believing everything going wrong is somehow your fault. Greg explores how this faulty thinking drains men of energy, inflates guilt, and wrecks intimacy.

🔍 Key Takeaways

• Personalization = blaming yourself for things you didn’t cause.

• Often rooted in early emotional conditioning and trauma.

• Reinfo...

In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin of WalkTheMountain.com unpacks the sneaky trap of Labeling and Mislabeling — where one mistake becomes your identity and a single moment defines your partner.

When men say things like “I forgot the bin — I’m useless” or “She’s nagging — she’s a control freak,” they turn moments into harsh, fixed judgments.

This thinking trap shuts down empathy, blocks growth, and feeds sh...

In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores the cognitive trap of “Should” statements — those internal scripts that sound like motivation but actually breed shame, pressure, and disconnection. In men’s work and relationships, “should” thinking fuels unrealistic expectations of self and others, rooted in cultural and childhood conditioning.

Phrases like “She should appreciate me mor...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, we explore the thinking trap of Disaster-thinking — the tendency to assume the worst-case scenario in relationships and treat it as inevitable truth.

Men often spiral from minor moments, like a quiet dinner or a single comment, into full-blown emotional catastrophes: breakups, failure, and rejection.

Disaster-thinking feels like self-protection but actually fuels anxiety, shame, and ...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the thinking trap of Jumping to Conclusions — the mental habit of assuming the worst before knowing the facts.

Common in men during relationship stress, this distortion includes mind-reading (“She must hate me”) and fortune-telling (“This is going to end badly”). It’s driven by fear, past wounds, and a deep desire to protect oneself, but often causes more harm th...

In this episode, we dive into the faulty thinking trap of Disqualifying the Positive — the mental habit of rejecting compliments, kindness, and progress.

Whether it’s your partner saying, “Thanks for helping with the kids”, or “I appreciate how you listened”, your inner critic swats it away with thoughts like, “She’s just being polite”or “I still screwed up.” This mindset often stems from past experiences where praise felt unsafe, ...

In this Men Seeking Calm episode, we explore Negative Filtering — the cognitive trap where men obsess over one critical comment or tense moment, ignoring the many things going right in their relationship.

Whether it’s a forgotten bin or a frustrated sigh, this faulty thinking filters out gratitude, affection, and shared joy, leaving men feeling like constant failures.

Greg shares 10 examples of how this plays out and how it silentl...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, explores Overgeneralization — a type of faulty thinking where one bad moment is exaggerated into a total truth.

It’s the mental habit of thinking “She snapped at me — she always does,” or “We argued — our relationship must be falling apart.”

Greg explains how this distorted thinking turns single events into sweeping judgments, disconnecting men from growth, intimacy, and reality.

Roo...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking — a rigid, black-and-white mindset where every mistake feels like total failure and every disagreement signals doom.

In intimate relationships, this thinking shows up as harsh self-judgment and polarizing assumptions like “If I can’t fix this, I’m useless,” or “She’s upset — our relationship must be over.”

Greg breaks down 10 v...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores “Frozen in Conflict” — a shutdown response many men have when facing tough conversations.

Whether it’s criticism, shame, or unresolved anger issues, this reaction can look like silence, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. Often rooted in emotional flooding, depression as anger, or fear of escalation, this leads to unresolved anger problems and broken connect...

In this episode, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores contempt—one of the most damaging forces in relationships.

More than just anger issues or anger outbursts, contempt expresses superiority through sarcasm, mockery, and put-downs like “You’re such a loser” or “You can’t do anything right.” It’s not just criticism—it’s humiliation.

Contempt often masks deeper pain, unresolved depression as anger, or ongoing resentment, an...

Defensiveness is another communication choice that degrades Our connection with our partner.

Defensiveness is refusing responsibility for our actions:

by making

• excuses,
• blaming, or
• denying.

We feel overwhelmed by critical feedback. We go into defence mode.

Rather than hearing...

This episode describes CRITICISM and how it impacts our connection with our partner.

… it frays at our connection with our partner.

Our connection with our partner is one of life’s greatest assets, and so if we do something damaging to this connection, it’s a big problem.

… I am going to discuss positive options for w...

Welcome to MEN SEEKING CALM.

I invite you to Start the Change Journey and to take a walk with me.

We cover anger management, male issues and men’s business.

My name is Greg Martin from www.WalkTheMountain.com

 

In this episode I explain why Reaction-Mode is for...

Today it’s Man Bubble time.

greg martin here from WalkTheMountain.com where …

We walk together and with other men motivated to take a journey to CALM.

Imagine if you will, that you are inside of a big bubble.

 

The life lesson is that inside this bubble is what...

In this episode I posit that Targeting Happiness in life … is a mistake.

We need to find our way to a Calm Baseline first … in order to get to happiness.

I propose that a more useful target is to Seek Calm.

This podcast is about getting you to a Calm Baseline.

And now you know why I select...