Not Your Therapist
Life is messy, relationships are complicated, and let’s be real—mental health can feel like a full-time job. If you’re looking for down-to-earth, no-BS conversations about navigating stress, relationships, and personal growth, you’re in the right place. I’m Kayla Reilly, a licensed therapist, entrepreneur, and real-life human who knows that wellness isn’t about perfection—it’s about finding what actually works for you. This show is for anyone who wants approachable mental health tools, relatable insights, and a little humor along the way. Each episode, we break down the good, the bad, and the downright frustrating parts of life—from managing anxiety and breaking toxic patterns to setting boundaries and creating balance (without the guilt). No therapy jargon, no fluff—just real talk and practical strategies to help you feel more grounded in your everyday life. Hit play, get comfortable, and let’s figure this life thing out together.
Episodes
The word "boundaries" has become such a buzzword that many people throw it around without truly understanding what it means. But what exactly are boundaries, and why do so many of us struggle to set them effectively?
Boundaries aren't about controlling others—they're guidelines for what you will and won't allow in your life. The key distinction lies in taking responsibility for yourse...
Ever found yourself drawn to someone who couldn't quite decide if they wanted you? The Harrison-Lauren-Tony love triangle from Love Island UK Season 12 offers a perfect case study in toxic relationship patterns that might feel eerily familiar.
This captivating analysis breaks down the psychological dynamics at play when a charming but emotionally withholding person keeps multiple partners on the hook. Ha...
Have you ever felt responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing? Been called "the only one they can talk to" or "their rock"? That special closeness you felt might actually have been something therapists call emotional incest—a hidden form of boundary violation that shapes how we connect with others well into adulthood.
Emotional incest occurs when a parent turns to their child to f...
Were you the only child who was “so mature for your age”—but never really got to be a kid? In this episode, we dive into what it’s really like growing up without siblings and how that shapes your identity, relationships, and emotional habits as an adult.
Drawing from birth order psychology and Family Systems Theory, we explore how only children miss the sibling subsystem—your first environment for social learning—and w...
Are you the youngest child who’s always been seen as “the fun one”—but never quite taken seriously? In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down the psychology of the youngest child: how being the “baby” of the family shapes your personality, relationships, and sense of identity.
We explore how youngest kids often become the entertainer or escape artist, the impact of being underestimated, and how this bi...
Were you the middle child—the one who stayed out of the way, kept the peace, and quietly handled your own emotional needs? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the psychology of middle child syndrome, emotional distancing, and why so many middle children become chronic people-pleasers or “distancers” in adulthood.
We’ll talk about how middle children are shaped by their role in the...
Are you the firstborn and secretly exhausted? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the eldest child experience—how being the “responsible one” often leads to perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overfunctioning in adulthood.
If you were basically a third parent growing up, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about parentification, high-achiever syndrome, and how to start setting boundaries ...
Did your family birth order shape your personality? Spoiler: yep. In this episode, we explore how birth order influences your identity, temperament, and adult relationships. Whether you're the eldest child, middle child, youngest, or only child, this episode helps you understand how your role in the family still shows up in your life today.
You’ll learn the psychology behind birth order, what patterns to look for,...
Ever feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.
In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood messages about productivity ...
Ever hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m breaking down why learning to validate you...
The quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.
When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.
After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpack the slow-burn pain of emotional inv...
Dr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize their hurt feelings over their children&...
Are you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.
In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official diagnosis with three distin...
Ever wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication.
"You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time," Erin observes, highl...
Struggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.
In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC. We div...
When Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting resources in the area: The Wilmington Mo...
Your Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for You
Diet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually trying to keep you alive.
From childhood, we ...
Struggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST, joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back.
We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, including the role of stress, hormonal change...
Ever wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA, joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy.
We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew—from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apologize for crying in session. If you’ve eve...
Ever feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally deserves it.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!