Not Your Therapist
Life is messy, relationships are complicated, and let’s be real—mental health can feel like a full-time job. If you’re looking for down-to-earth, no-BS conversations about navigating stress, relationships, and personal growth, you’re in the right place. I’m Kayla Reilly, a licensed therapist, entrepreneur, and real-life human who knows that wellness isn’t about perfection—it’s about finding what actually works for you. This show is for anyone who wants approachable mental health tools, relatable insights, and a little humor along the way. Each episode, we break down the good, the bad, and the downright frustrating parts of life—from managing anxiety and breaking toxic patterns to setting boundaries and creating balance (without the guilt). No therapy jargon, no fluff—just real talk and practical strategies to help you feel more grounded in your everyday life. Hit play, get comfortable, and let’s figure this life thing out together.
Episodes
We talk a lot about anxiety and depression—but what if the root cause is your hormones? Hormonal imbalance is showing up earlier and more often than it did two decades ago, and it impacts everything from your sleep to your sex drive to your ability to feel joy.
In this episode, I’m unpacking why hormone issues are becoming more common, how they can masquerade as mental health struggles, and why HRT (Hormone Replacement...
You’re having a normal day—coffee in hand, scrolling your phone—and suddenly your chest tightens, your heart races, and you’re spiraling. That’s a trigger. But what exactly does it mean to be “triggered”?
In this episode, I’m breaking down what triggers really are (spoiler: they’re your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you), how to recognize when you’re in the middle of one, and practical tools to help you cal...
Ever met someone who just has it—that mix of confidence, warmth, and magnetism that makes people lean in? That’s charisma. And good news: it’s not some magical personality trait you’re either born with or not—it’s a skill you can actually practice.
In this episode, I’m breaking down what charisma really is (hint: it’s equal parts warmth and competence), why it matters more than smarts when it comes to relationships and...
Ever wondered what EMDR actually is—or why everyone from trauma therapists to TikTok is talking about it? In this episode, I’m breaking down Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (aka EMDR) in plain English.
We’ll cover how it works, what the science says, and who it’s really for. I’ll also share how EMDR has impacted me personally and what I’ve seen in my own clients—because spoiler alert: it’s powerful. Whet...
The word "boundaries" has become such a buzzword that many people throw it around without truly understanding what it means. But what exactly are boundaries, and why do so many of us struggle to set them effectively?
Boundaries aren't about controlling others—they're guidelines for what you will and won't allow in your life. The key distinction lies in taking responsibility for yourse...
Ever found yourself drawn to someone who couldn't quite decide if they wanted you? The Harrison-Lauren-Tony love triangle from Love Island UK Season 12 offers a perfect case study in toxic relationship patterns that might feel eerily familiar.
This captivating analysis breaks down the psychological dynamics at play when a charming but emotionally withholding person keeps multiple partners on the hook. Ha...
Have you ever felt responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing? Been called "the only one they can talk to" or "their rock"? That special closeness you felt might actually have been something therapists call emotional incest—a hidden form of boundary violation that shapes how we connect with others well into adulthood.
Emotional incest occurs when a parent turns to their child to f...
Were you the only child who was “so mature for your age”—but never really got to be a kid? In this episode, we dive into what it’s really like growing up without siblings and how that shapes your identity, relationships, and emotional habits as an adult.
Drawing from birth order psychology and Family Systems Theory, we explore how only children miss the sibling subsystem—your first environment for social learning—and w...
Are you the youngest child who’s always been seen as “the fun one”—but never quite taken seriously? In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down the psychology of the youngest child: how being the “baby” of the family shapes your personality, relationships, and sense of identity.
We explore how youngest kids often become the entertainer or escape artist, the impact of being underestimated, and how this bi...
Were you the middle child—the one who stayed out of the way, kept the peace, and quietly handled your own emotional needs? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the psychology of middle child syndrome, emotional distancing, and why so many middle children become chronic people-pleasers or “distancers” in adulthood.
We’ll talk about how middle children are shaped by their role in the...
Are you the firstborn and secretly exhausted? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the eldest child experience—how being the “responsible one” often leads to perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overfunctioning in adulthood.
If you were basically a third parent growing up, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about parentification, high-achiever syndrome, and how to start setting boundaries ...
Did your family birth order shape your personality? Spoiler: yep. In this episode, we explore how birth order influences your identity, temperament, and adult relationships. Whether you're the eldest child, middle child, youngest, or only child, this episode helps you understand how your role in the family still shows up in your life today.
You’ll learn the psychology behind birth order, what patterns to look for,...
Ever feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.
In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood messages about productivity ...
Ever hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m breaking down why learning to validate you...
The quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.
When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.
After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpack the slow-burn pain of emotional inv...
Dr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize their hurt feelings over their children&...
Are you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.
In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official diagnosis with three distin...
Ever wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication.
"You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time," Erin observes, highl...
Struggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.
In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evolution Wellness in Wilmington, NC. We div...
When Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting resources in the area: The Wilmington Mo...
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