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March 12, 2025 13 mins

Wedding celebrant Steve Mummery joined Clairsy & Lisa in the studio as Clairsy prepares to be the Father of the bride when his daughter gets married next year.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And we continue to talk about weddings.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yes, go into the chapel and we're going to get married. Well,
Madison is father of the bride, and you're feeling it.
You're nervous and Madison.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
It was only when that woman we spoke to said
that some people are paying one hundred grand for their
for their weddings.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
That's when I fell off the chair.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Well, today we've got a very good friend of ours, actually,
Steve Mummery, who, as well as many other skills, is
a wedding celebrant.

Speaker 4 (00:26):
I am, and.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
You've married quite great. There is quite the waiting list
for your skills.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Seven one hundred and sixty.

Speaker 5 (00:35):
Wow, weddings, I think last count that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
How many years is that still?

Speaker 4 (00:40):
Since twenty seven days?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
That's incredible.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Don't count the years, that's a lot, No, No, just
count the weddings. So what made you think I want
to do that? Look, because it's not like you didn't
have a job at the time. You were very busy.
You're running telethon.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
Okay, so I'd thought for.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
A few years I going to do when I retire,
And and I'm not a golfer. I'm not that guy
that will will do all that. And I'd been to
so many weddings over the years where I'd walk away
afterwards going that was a bit that celberance not that great,

(01:19):
and a whole bunch where they were great, and I thought, yeah,
that was that was invigorating and all that, and yeah,
after seeing a few that were a bit of I thought,
you know what, I could do that when I retire anyway,
So that was a long way in the in the future.
And my nephew in the end asked me whether I

(01:40):
would marry him and his wife, and I wasn't a celebrant,
and I had been going through my head and I thought, oh,
damn it, I'll do the certificate full of course and
become a celebrant so that I can marry them. And
so that's how it started.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah really, yeah, I mean, you've done radio, so you
have the gift of the gab, But what are the
other skills that go on top of that?

Speaker 1 (01:57):
What do you mean?

Speaker 5 (01:58):
Look, I guess diplomacy I wasn't known for in radio
patience patients, which I also wasn't but I've learned these
skills since becoming a celebrant.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (02:16):
Look, it basically basically comes down to being able to
write a decent ceremony. My preference is to do nice,
lighthearted ceremonies. It's serious when it gets to the serious
bit of but the whole thing doesn't have to be
like that. It should basically it should reflect the personalities
of the two people you're marrying. Yeah. My favorite thing

(02:39):
is when the couple after the ceremony have everybody coming
up to congratulate them and they say, that's the best
ceremony I've ever been to, or how long have you
known Steve, yes, And they're the two best compliments that
I can get. Afterwards having them come back to me
and saying, oh, yeah, people said this, So yeah, that's

(03:00):
that's what I am for, to make it reflect their
personalities and and and feel inclusive of all the people
that are there.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
And people do get swept up in a wave of
something when they're getting married, and they do need someone
to take you know, Jesus take the wheel.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
It's Steve take the wheel.

Speaker 5 (03:20):
Well, and that's basically what it is. You're in control
of the ceremony part of the day. You're the choreographer,
I guess, and and you know, after doing so many
you get to know what works and what doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
And you're also making sure things are done legally and
people are actually married.

Speaker 5 (03:38):
That is the main part of the job. To make
sure it's a legal wedding. You've got to make sure
that they're not married to anybody. You've got to make
sure that if they were married to somebody else, that
you've cite their divorce papers.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
That happened.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
You had to say, guys, properly, I don't do.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
That on the day.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
To do that before, have you had to say.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Hang on, this isn't your other.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Your last one has not been fully dissolved.

Speaker 5 (04:07):
Well, I don't go ahead until I see them, until
I cite the divorce. A lot of people go, oh,
I have no idea where they are. They just don't
peep in. And I say, well, you're going to have
to find it because I'm not marrying you until I
signed that person.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
On election day? Who remember checking off the roll? Have
you voted somewhere else? Have you been married elsewhere?

Speaker 5 (04:29):
How ridiculous is that it's twenty twenty five and they're
still crossing names.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Out of a book. So bad, so bizarre.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
Look, things must go wrong and this is nothing to
do with your your professionalism stave. But things must go wrong.
Is sometimes just tiny things because people are nervous.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (04:44):
Look, And I explained to the bride particularly beforehand, because
if she's going to do that walk down the aisle,
I tell her, when you at the top of the aisle,
as soon as you get there, that's going to be
when you're peaking the most, right And I always say
to it, but that's nothing until you get down the
end of the aisle and then turn around and see

(05:06):
all of your favorite people standing or sitting there in
front of you. I said, that's when you're going to
really be peeking. And so I always tell them once
you get down there, I'll face you. You'll be facing
the crowd, and we're just going to chat for a
minute or so, just so that your heartbeat lowers, yeah,
and that you're.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
In the moment.

Speaker 5 (05:23):
Because I don't want them to be peaking so much
that they missed the ceremony, Like that's my bit.

Speaker 4 (05:29):
I want them to pay attention.

Speaker 5 (05:31):
So I.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
Like them to calm down and just be in the moment.

Speaker 5 (05:38):
And I literally tell them to just breathe now out,
now back because they're literally almost frozen sometimes and there's
other couples that they just breeze.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Through it and they're fine and all that.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
There was that guy that the groom at Burrswood Shell
that I'm married once, who I'm pretty sure almost didn't
know what was going on on the day. He could
understand English. I have to make sure they can understand
what is going on the day. But he was just
walking around aimlessly. And it is part of my responsibility

(06:17):
to make sure they know what they are doing and
all that. And he did know what he was doing,
but there was nobody from his family or friends there.
It was just the bride's friends most of them. And
there was like about fifteen people there. Most of them
were bridesmaids, so it was one of those with everybody's

(06:37):
a bridesmaids. They all had the same dresses. On goodness gracious.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
A bit in the ceremony where words along the lines
of if anyone here today any reason why these two
should not be married, has anyone ever indeed objected?

Speaker 4 (06:58):
That's not a legal requirement. I've never done it, never
said the words.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
I never never, and it never will.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah, because you would think that child, it's everyone's on
board by this stage wouldn't you.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Well, yeah, and it's got nothing to do with anyone. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (07:13):
Basically, CLI know the days of the father handing over
his daughter as goods and chattel well gone. Yeah, so yeah, No,
I don't think any celebrant must solictening for trouble. And
it is in the crowd.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
I might as well stand there and say, okay, who
wants some biffo? Does that happen? Keep things quite calm.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
I still want to talk about criers because when I'm
married Laurie in twenty twelve, I cried like a baby.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah. I just couldn't continue.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
It couldn't.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
Oh, absolutely, I went on, this is what it's meant
to feel like. But then the waterworks came and my
sister law said, I was waiting for the big radio
voice and I didn't get it. Disappointed, But do you
get to have a squeaky well a little bit emotional,
But do you get many cries who cry all the
way through?

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Yeah? Look, And it surprises me a bit because sometimes
it's like the roughest the butcher's guys actually that, and
you talk to them beforehand, because I you know, talk
to the groom before the bride's there. And make sure
he's right and drinks water and all that sort of thing,
and they're all fine, and then that moment of truth happens.

(08:21):
And quite often it's when the bride walks down the
aisle and it just well, it either hits them as in,
oh my god, what have I done.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
I like to think, as in.

Speaker 5 (08:34):
Oh my god, look at this gorgeous person under that
to marry Yeah, and so some of the guys start
to get a bit teary. Then I always have a
handkerchief ready to go nice for the bride or the groom,
and it's a bit more embarrassing when I have to
give it to the groom first, and then when they're

(08:54):
doing their vows sometimes they just get a little bit
emotional shoky at that point.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do most people write their own vowels?

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 5 (09:04):
I give them lots of material to help them do it,
because it is one of the things they get nervous
about because it's something they've never done. Most people, well
half of them, have never done before. And so I
give them a bunch of about ten real sets of
vows that couples I've married have done, which I've thought

(09:26):
after his oh gee, they're really nice, So take out
the names and just give them those and that's mainly
to show them the different styles and lengths. Like some people,
you can do personal vowels that just are three sentences.
You can do personal vows that go on for three minutes.
There's no rules, you can do whatever.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
You probably three.

Speaker 5 (09:48):
I just make sure they send them to me beforehand,
and they're roughly the same sentiment and length because you
don't want the guys saying or hi, honey, I love you,
look forward to spending the rest of my life with you,
and then the bride doing three majors.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
So you talked about seeing other celebrants in action before
you started the gig. But now do you go to
weddings and judge? Have you been many weddings in life?

Speaker 4 (10:13):
Do you think eight years? What sort of question is?

Speaker 5 (10:17):
Of course I'm to ask. My nickname is mister Judging.
I'm the judge. Yeah, but look at my at the
point of my life, I'm not going to that many weddings.
I guess small funerals, yeah I do. But and once

(10:39):
again like just talking about funerals, Yeah, the fact that
somebody has died is sad enough as it is. Yeah,
my aim isn't to make it worse on the day
I'm sadder and all that. I quite like doing uplifting
funerals and you know it's it's bloody sad that they're
all there in the first place. So you know, I
encourage people to laugh and the tribute, isn't it And

(11:02):
it just really enjoy the fact that they were able
to know that person off the track.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
They were good.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
It's oh yeah. Lots of people like to involve their
dog now in ceremonies, have the ring and that sort
of thing.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
Has that ever gone awry? No, But I love it.
It's like kids, kids and dogs.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
You just roll with it.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
You just learn to roll with it.

Speaker 5 (11:27):
And I guess through my experience before in media, I'm
used to being able to add live when I can
work around any situation and it makes the moment. It's
that's the thing that people will talk about after when
the dog ran around and greeted everybody. This dog here
behind me that I've brought in. It was a ring

(11:48):
bearer at a wedding on.

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Scarboroughbeks Bright Beautiful, just a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 5 (11:57):
Because the groom, who I've met just at the local
cafe over the last few years has is from the
UK Morning Felix. He his dog is a Labordoodle, but
it's back in the UK. Daphanie's fourteen years old and
Rough is an actor and so he's always been attracted
to Roof and he he asked if a Roof could

(12:22):
be the ring Well, actually, when he asked me to
marry them, I said, okay, so long as Roof can
be the ring bearer, all right, and.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
He said, yeah, of course, of course.

Speaker 5 (12:30):
So he did an excellent job of that, walked down
the aisle and then walked back and greeted everybody for
a pat and then came back up with the rings
around his neck. But yeah, I love doing stuff like that,
and love involving kids in the wedding as well.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
It just makes it special.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
We have I think we've got to wrap it up.
Look at the time you should have wrapped up.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Sorry, yeah, yeah, but it was with a chat and catching.

Speaker 5 (12:54):
Up and you've missed traffic were Yeah, you know, I
have no idea what the times.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
Thanks for coming here, Rof.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I'm sorry I've been mispronouncing your name all this time,
calling you Rough, impulveing animals
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