🎬 CUTTING ROOM FLOOR: Toddlers Accidentally Play With Dead Grandpa's Ashes (Podcast Exclusive)

Join Jonesy & Amanda for an EXCLUSIVE (unaired) episode!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's Johnsy and the man's cut full. It's john and
the man is cutting.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hi, Amanda, Hello, would you like your basket?

Speaker 3 (00:19):
I love my bus.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
This morning we presented Brendan Jonesy Jones with a basket
to celebrate him being a new grandfather.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Exciting times.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
What was in the basket? Have a look it was.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
I was a bit worried it was going to be
one of those T shirts with a combie on the
front that says old guys rule, which I hate.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
You can't help yourself. You went a bursket. And then
when I said it's a celebrate bring your grandfather, the
face of hate that you gave me it was you
just said, I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Stuff I got. You got me a big hat, a.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Big sun hat. That's what old coots wear.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh well, already wear one of those. You got me
some old gold chocolate.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
And the thing that was in there, My main suget
was a packet of Worthers originals because they're old people's lollies.
And can I have some place?

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yes? Are they from your bag? You also got slippers
Canadian whisky.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, you got slippers. You've got Flannelt pajama pants. That
you can gape out of like old.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Men do, and a noise canceling head.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yes, because if babies get noisy, because your ears might
get sensitive. So thank you, you're welcome. Can I actually
have a Worther's original?

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I got to dig through the basket o.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
People that land up at the model of my briefcase.
Eventually you want the whole pack? Yeah, thank you. Now,
while we're speaking of grandfather's there's a story I was
reading this morning that probably isn't so charming as a
packet of words originals. This mum said that she's got
two toddlers, three and two. She just wanted to go

(01:48):
to the bathroom for a moment, just for a moment.
This is what happens when you've got children. You go
look away for a second. And she came out and
she thought, why are they playing with all that white dirt?
Sell that white chalky stuff they're playing with. Turns out
it was smeared all over their faces, all over their hands,
all over some furniture. It was grandpa. Oh it was

(02:11):
grandpa's ashes. Oh Grandpa, don't be relieved. It's not a
nice story.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Well, no, I just said, what the hell?

Speaker 2 (02:18):
So she said where does it all come from? She
discovered later the empty container that it housed the grandfather's
ashes and the dirt, and the truth dawned on her
that the dirt was his cremated remains. She said, they
got him and they dumped him all over the carpet.
I didn't realize it was poor Paw, meaning that was
his name, Pawpaw, until I vacuum him up.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Ah, poor poor.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
You know, perhaps poor poor would have been quite happy
to know. The kids be happy with that.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah, I think it'd be good, would you.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, it's better than just sitting on a mantelpiece.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yeah, and the kids. I look at my kids, they
don't want anything to do with their grandparents. So you
know it's a nice sentiment.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yeah, you've gone up their noses. You've middle over there.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Maybe this is a thing that we could start a
bit of a.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Play with Grandpa one more time.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah, you know they've got all those those places. Now
you know you can cremate your pet, you can do
all that, junt.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Why don't you find a safe space we can actually
play with the ashes. That's not a bad idea, and
it can be you got up his nose in life, Yeah,
let you get up his nose.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
No, he gets up your nose. Now, this is a
great idea, you get like wash your.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Hands of grandpa with the solfa.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
You could get one of those kiddies swimming pools. Yes,
fill it with the ashes.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yes, get under Let grandpa get under his skin one
more time.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
Okay, let's take it now that we're blue skying this.
What about Grandpa's not cremated. You just prop him up
in the corner.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It doesn't quite happen.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
And then the kids just can play with grandpa.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Then it doesn't quite Bernie, he's playing with his ashes.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
You take him away with you, just trap him to
the roof racks of the car. Where's Grandpa?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't think that's quite as charming as playing his
cremated remains.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
Imagine in its strapped to the roof of the car,
like Granny from.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Beverly Hill, like an old moose that you've hunted, hanging
from the wall. No, mount his head on the wall.
That's where your hat had come in hand. He didn't
look rakish.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
No one who wears those hats has ever looked rakish,
similar to anyone that wears an old guy's rural T shirt.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Can I have your words? I'm going to open them now.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Okay, okay, kids, that's it today.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Come back to love Chosey and Amanda's