February 23, 2025 • 7 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Robin and Kidd now with Correos the podcast. Here at
the show, we often talk about and I am always
impressed at how well you co parent with your ex
Amber and your current partner Naomi, and how it all
seems to be like really amicable and you put your
(00:23):
five year old son Raffi first. And it occurred to
me last week when we were playing Brisbane's biggest game
of Hide and Seek, that maybe for the first time
Amber and Naomi had to do handover without you.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, because I was that true, because we're in that
warehouse and Tingapul know what to be saying. So yeah,
I think it probably would be the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And I was amazed at how mature everyone was. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, And I mean he is a great he's a
great kid. And he's a great icebreaker too because he
chats and he just like and he is absolutely insistent
on Amber loving Siena stuff like he's like, you haven't
said lad to the baby every time? Every time as
the winner comes, Yeah she does, yeah, points to her, Yeah,
(01:10):
yeah she does.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But it wasn't always like that.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I'm guessing no, and that's I guess, like I thank
you for for your compliments like I really do appreciate,
but I do feel like sometimes I feel like a
fraud as a as opposed to child, because it's so
hard and it's not and it's it's not as you know,
it's not easy. And it's also like I remember, like
the first Christmas. I remember the first Christmas was being
(01:33):
like that's just etched in my in my heart, in
my mind of like one of the worst days ever
where I had to well, I dropped him to her
house Christmas morning and and sort of just and and
he was crying and how old was he he would
have been. I think that was two. I think it
was too and you know, and he was crying and
(01:57):
so then I started crying and you know, it's took
him inside and I just like I sat in my
car and I wept, like I couldn't drive. I tried
to drive away, but I couldn't drive because I couldn't
see because I was crying so much. Like it was
just how much I was hating my life and hating that,
hating that it was that we were doing changeovers and
(02:17):
we were so awkward with her and I wouldn't make
eye contact. We here we are Christmas Day, the Christmas
previous we woke up together, you know, we were a family,
and then it was all over and that and that
and thinking this is going to be my life, like
this is what it's going to be like forever. Was
just so shock reality and just going, man, I'm gonna
go and have Christmas Day without my boy.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now were you by yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, we had family, family were at home.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
But I changed then I.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Don't probably maturity and time, you know, say about time
like things wounds. Heal right, you just you all of
a sudden you find things to talk about that, you know,
because her and I hadn't had a good conversation for
probably for months, you know, because we were breaking up
and there was just arguments, arguments, arguments, and so then
(03:07):
all of a sudden you start talking about you know,
you learn to start talking about the one thing that
you both love, which is Raphael.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But you know, and I don't obviously relationships, no one
knows what goes on behind closed doors. But one of
the things that I will say is that I think
the reason why you are the post to child and
I will continue to make you and Amber the poster
children with Naomi is because always it's about rafi. Yeah,
always like there was nothing more important to you three
(03:34):
than that kid being okay, And that is not always
the case. Look thirteen one oh six y five. If
you want to get involved, we have received a text
from a woman who's been watching a custody fallout from
the outsideh because she has a different role in this
child's life. I want to see if we can get
her up. Her name is Vanessa from Stafford. But I
(03:56):
think this sort of stuff is so important to talk
about because so many people do it wrong and badly,
kids get hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, and there's and so many people are doing it,
and whether or not, I mean, you never plan to
do it right, So how do you can't train for it?
I don't train for everything to go wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I'll be interested to hear what you have to say
when we get Vanessa up and she can tell you
the story. Vanessa, you're an observer to another family.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How are you engaged in all of this? Because I think, again,
what you're saying is something common that other people would notice.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I'm a coach of an athlete. I've been coaching for
many years and witnessing fifty to fifty percent custody, one
side not helping the other and basically trying to destroy
the children's life. It's it and playing points with them
in a sport that they love, and you know, one
(04:53):
doesn't want them doing it at a Pacific spot because
of their own means and own beliefs, things that they
believe that they've done. And you know, meanwhile the other
parent is trying to do bend over backwards and give
everything they want. It's really hard to watch get destroyed
by this and going, you know, I can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Can I ask? I knew a couple of people in
this situation where the mum or even the dad would
drop off to the sport on the times that they
had the kid, but then the other parent wouldn't, so
they could only ever play a game every two weeks
or do training every second week. Is that is that
the case?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
The parent has tried to do that and they've I
have been told that the parent has negotiated that he'll
drop off, but he will not participate, won't pay anything
else or anything like that. I've seen on that competitions
where you know, the trial's not even allowed to go
to speak to the other parent while knowing that they're
(05:56):
they're watching them, and they can't even get on and
along at a competition event. They've got to be separate,
not even allowed to go up and say good luck
and congratulations or anything like that because it's not their week,
which I find is really poor on the child.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Can you see like a difference in the child like
obviously having to go through it, or like have you
seen like you know, body language, her emotions and you know,
obviously all of that's starting to drag her down, and
well drag the child down.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, you know when it's months week and you know
when it's Dad's week in their attitude, you see it
in the way they perform their you know, their their sport.
So yeah, it's it's I always say, oh, is it
Dad's week this week? And she goes and she just
looks at me and I'm like okay, and you can tell,
and it's really it's a shame for the children. Like
(06:49):
at the end of the day, you should be putting
your child first and giving them everything that they want.
And that's why I can mean kick because you know,
putting RAUGHI first is just you know, brilliant. I've seen
the worst of it and I've seen the best of
it as well. So I've seen co parenting of another
child many years ago, and both families would go on
(07:09):
holidays together and everything like and spend Christmas Days and
everything together. So I see, I've seen both ends of
the spectrum.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So well done, thank you. I'm not guessing Kip is
going to go on holiday.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Just cool your jets. Let's just take baby steps everyone.
That's a good no.
Robin and Kidd now with Correos the podcast. Here at
the show, we often talk about and I am always
impressed at how well you co parent with your ex
Amber and your current partner Naomi, and how it all
seems to be like really amicable and you put your
(00:23):
five year old son Raffi first. And it occurred to
me last week when we were playing Brisbane's biggest game
of Hide and Seek, that maybe for the first time
Amber and Naomi had to do handover without you.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, because I was that true, because we're in that
warehouse and Tingapul know what to be saying. So yeah,
I think it probably would be the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And I was amazed at how mature everyone was. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, And I mean he is a great he's a
great kid. And he's a great icebreaker too because he
chats and he just like and he is absolutely insistent
on Amber loving Siena stuff like he's like, you haven't
said lad to the baby every time? Every time as
the winner comes, Yeah she does, yeah, points to her, Yeah,
(01:10):
yeah she does.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But it wasn't always like that.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I'm guessing no, and that's I guess, like I thank
you for for your compliments like I really do appreciate,
but I do feel like sometimes I feel like a
fraud as a as opposed to child, because it's so
hard and it's not and it's it's not as you know,
it's not easy. And it's also like I remember, like
the first Christmas. I remember the first Christmas was being
(01:33):
like that's just etched in my in my heart, in
my mind of like one of the worst days ever
where I had to well, I dropped him to her
house Christmas morning and and sort of just and and
he was crying and how old was he he would
have been. I think that was two. I think it
was too and you know, and he was crying and
(01:57):
so then I started crying and you know, it's took
him inside and I just like I sat in my
car and I wept, like I couldn't drive. I tried
to drive away, but I couldn't drive because I couldn't
see because I was crying so much. Like it was
just how much I was hating my life and hating that,
hating that it was that we were doing changeovers and
(02:17):
we were so awkward with her and I wouldn't make
eye contact. We here we are Christmas Day, the Christmas
previous we woke up together, you know, we were a family,
and then it was all over and that and that
and thinking this is going to be my life, like
this is what it's going to be like forever. Was
just so shock reality and just going, man, I'm gonna
go and have Christmas Day without my boy.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Now were you by yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, we had family, family were at home.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
But I changed then I.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Don't probably maturity and time, you know, say about time
like things wounds. Heal right, you just you all of
a sudden you find things to talk about that, you know,
because her and I hadn't had a good conversation for
probably for months, you know, because we were breaking up
and there was just arguments, arguments, arguments, and so then
(03:07):
all of a sudden you start talking about you know,
you learn to start talking about the one thing that
you both love, which is Raphael.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But you know, and I don't obviously relationships, no one
knows what goes on behind closed doors. But one of
the things that I will say is that I think
the reason why you are the post to child and
I will continue to make you and Amber the poster
children with Naomi is because always it's about rafi. Yeah,
always like there was nothing more important to you three
(03:34):
than that kid being okay, And that is not always
the case. Look thirteen one oh six y five. If
you want to get involved, we have received a text
from a woman who's been watching a custody fallout from
the outsideh because she has a different role in this
child's life. I want to see if we can get
her up. Her name is Vanessa from Stafford. But I
(03:56):
think this sort of stuff is so important to talk
about because so many people do it wrong and badly,
kids get hurt.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes, and there's and so many people are doing it,
and whether or not, I mean, you never plan to
do it right, So how do you can't train for it?
I don't train for everything to go wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
I'll be interested to hear what you have to say
when we get Vanessa up and she can tell you
the story. Vanessa, you're an observer to another family.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How are you engaged in all of this? Because I think, again,
what you're saying is something common that other people would notice.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I'm a coach of an athlete. I've been coaching for
many years and witnessing fifty to fifty percent custody, one
side not helping the other and basically trying to destroy
the children's life. It's it and playing points with them
in a sport that they love, and you know, one
(04:53):
doesn't want them doing it at a Pacific spot because
of their own means and own beliefs, things that they
believe that they've done. And you know, meanwhile the other
parent is trying to do bend over backwards and give
everything they want. It's really hard to watch get destroyed
by this and going, you know, I can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Can I ask? I knew a couple of people in
this situation where the mum or even the dad would
drop off to the sport on the times that they
had the kid, but then the other parent wouldn't, so
they could only ever play a game every two weeks
or do training every second week. Is that is that
the case?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
The parent has tried to do that and they've I
have been told that the parent has negotiated that he'll
drop off, but he will not participate, won't pay anything
else or anything like that. I've seen on that competitions
where you know, the trial's not even allowed to go
to speak to the other parent while knowing that they're
(05:56):
they're watching them, and they can't even get on and
along at a competition event. They've got to be separate,
not even allowed to go up and say good luck
and congratulations or anything like that because it's not their week,
which I find is really poor on the child.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
Can you see like a difference in the child like
obviously having to go through it, or like have you
seen like you know, body language, her emotions and you know,
obviously all of that's starting to drag her down, and
well drag the child down.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, you know when it's months week and you know
when it's Dad's week in their attitude, you see it
in the way they perform their you know, their their sport.
So yeah, it's it's I always say, oh, is it
Dad's week this week? And she goes and she just
looks at me and I'm like okay, and you can tell,
and it's really it's a shame for the children. Like
(06:49):
at the end of the day, you should be putting
your child first and giving them everything that they want.
And that's why I can mean kick because you know,
putting RAUGHI first is just you know, brilliant. I've seen
the worst of it and I've seen the best of
it as well. So I've seen co parenting of another
child many years ago, and both families would go on
(07:09):
holidays together and everything like and spend Christmas Days and
everything together. So I see, I've seen both ends of
the spectrum.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
So well done, thank you. I'm not guessing Kip is
going to go on holiday.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Just cool your jets. Let's just take baby steps everyone.
That's a good no.
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