No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS. Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more! As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.
Episodes
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We finish our series on Albert Ellis’s irrational ideas and the hidden beliefs they create in daily life. We focus on avoidance, dependence, the grip of the past, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional regulation so you can spot what’s driving your reactions and choose a healthier response.
• why avoiding discomfort makes problems bigger and burns mental energy
• how the belief ...
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Sex shouldn’t feel like a performance review you’re destined to fail. We pull back the curtain on the quiet pressures that keep women from asking for what they want, then rebuild intimacy on a foundation of comfort, consent, and curiosity. With licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist Keri Green, we explore how midlife bodies and busy lives change desire—and why that do...
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We unpack six classic irrational beliefs from CBT and rational emotive therapy and show how they fuel anxiety, perfectionism, anger, and people-pleasing. We also share practical ways to test the evidence, make a plan, and stop giving everyday setbacks the power to ruin your day.
• beliefs as the foundation for thoughts, feelings, and actions
• why the word irrational can feel judg...
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What if midlife isn’t a slow fade but a bright second spring? We sit down with life coach and community builder Cheryl Dillon to talk honestly about perimenopause, menopause, and the unexpected freedom that comes when we stop pretending and start being seen. From hot flashes and insomnia to weight changes and mood swings, we unpack the physical and emotional shifts with compassion and clarity—an...
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We talk through a simple shift that changes how we handle anxiety: stop mentally rehearsing the worst and start practicing success. We break down outcome visualization versus process visualization and show how vivid, step by step mental rehearsal can help you feel calmer and perform better.
• defining visualization as mental rehearsal
• noticing the default habit of worst case ima...
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Love should feel honest, not hazy. We sit down with Dr. Merideth Thompson, founder of Partner Lab, to unpack how data-driven insights turn relationship confusion into clarity—whether you’re looking to strengthen a good partnership, repair a drifting one, or leave a harmful dynamic safely. Drawing on research across thousands of couples, Merideth breaks down the surprising heavy-hitters that pred...
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We explore how growth depends on environment, using plant climate zones to rethink belonging at work, at home, and in relationships. A late mini turns into a clear call to honor seasons, stop forced pushing, and choose the right climate to thrive.
• grow where planted versus choose where you thrive
• hardiness zones and how plants model limits
• translating zones to belonging at...
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What if the problem isn’t that your boundaries are too soft, but that you were taught they had to be walls? We open this conversation by replacing the brick-and-mortar myth with a living metaphor: doors with windows, sensors, and keypads—flexible limits that protect your peace while keeping connection possible.
Together with boundaries coach and recovery podcaster Barb Nangle, we trace ...
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We explore heart coherence—the way the body, brain, and emotions sync—and how the vagus nerve helps us return from stress to calm. We share simple practices, stories from pets and people, and why a real hug can change a room.
• definition of heart coherence and why it matters
• how the autonomic and parasympathetic systems work
• role of the vagus nerve in calming the body
•...
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Mary and Dr. Stacey Pearson-Wharton trace how “being the dot” reveals both hypervisibility and invisibility, why representation changes help-seeking, and how to apologize without defensiveness. We share tools to move from fear to action, build belonging on campus and beyond, and use privilege to amplify others.
• reclaiming the violet metaphor and naming white privilege
• defining b...
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We explore the fine line between restorative rest and reactive avoidance, using body cues, purpose, and outcomes to tell them apart. We share simple practices to renew energy, regain perspective, and rebuild self-trust without shrinking your world.
• purpose of rest as energy renewal
• avoidance as delay that grows fear
• refreshed versus relieved as a key cue
• intentional,...
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A single sentence can change everything. When Kristen Crabtree heard, “You don’t need her permission to move out,” it shattered years of camouflaging and control, and set her on a path from invisibility to self-recovery. We dive into the quiet mechanics of psychological abuse—rules about when you can speak, isolation that shrinks your world, financial constraints that keep you stuck—and the smal...
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We trace how confirmation bias primes our expectations and how self-fulfilling prophecies turn false beliefs into real outcomes. Mary shares a personal story about self-reliance, asking for help, and learning to invite support without losing strength.
• recap of confirmation bias and everyday examples
• definition of self-fulfilling prophecy and how beliefs drive behavior
• re...
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What if the story shaping your choices isn’t the truth, just the loudest memory? We sit down with clinical hypnotherapist Michelle Walters to unpack what hypnosis actually is—a measurable brain state where suggestibility increases, attention narrows, and imagination opens—and how that mix can help rewrite unhelpful beliefs, calm persistent anxiety, and dismantle sticky habits.
Michelle ...
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We explore how confirmation bias shapes what we notice, how we remember, and how we treat ourselves and others. A childhood label becomes a lens, social media amplifies certainty, and small reframes open space for calmer, truer choices.
• clear definition of confirmation bias and why it spreads online
• story of being labeled shy and how it shaped behavior
• the cost of self-mon...
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We reframe self-doubt, motherhood, and messy life moments as a training ground for leadership, confidence, and authentic growth. Simone shares the REAL method and a mindset reset that turns “I could never” into clear choices and courageous action.
• redefining “shrinking violet” as resilience and strength
• reframing caregiving and domestic labor as leadership skills
• Simone’s ...
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We separate embarrassment from shame and show how shame gets used to push people back into line. We share family and professional stories, then offer ways to notice the first sting of shame and keep advocating for what you need.
• difference between embarrassment and shame
• how labels like always careless attach to identity
• why self-advocacy triggers shaming responses
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What if your body story isn’t about willpower, but about identity you’ve outgrown? We sit down with intuitive healer and coach Tara Wiscow, who lost 220 pounds and discovered the scale can’t measure self worth. Her three “flashbulb” moments—an early family secret, a heartbreaking park accident with her son, and a profound encounter with her higher self after her sister’s passing—reveal how aband...
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Some days the world feels impossibly heavy, and personal hurts pile on until sleep won’t come. We walk through a grounded path to emotional change that doesn’t deny pain: naming exactly what you feel, reaching for the next gentler emotion, and using micro-actions that shift your state in minutes. Drawing on therapy practice and the emotional guidance scale popularized by Abraham Hicks, we show h...
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What if the story you’re afraid to tell is the very thing that sets you free? We sit down with author and transformational mentor Julie Heaton to explore how shame, silence, and people-pleasing quietly script our lives—and how courage, honest words, and kind boundaries write a new one. Julie shares her journey from a teenage adoption and decades of secrecy to reunion, deep repair, and the everyd...
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