Pirates: Totalus Rankium
Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium
Episodes
We are still in the Golden age! So does that mean more Sam Bellamy level antics? ... well, no. But we cover the history of Nassau. so that's good.
Oh, we have hit the Golden Golden age now! This is what we signed up for. Black Flags, Skull and cross bones, parrots! Levels of nudity that would ensure HBO would have to make the TV version! Black Sam has it all.
This week we go off script. We are not coving a pirate from the General History - but instead we are coving a man who will be popping up a lot in the future: None other than the pirate hunter Woods Rogers! And we try and answer the simple question: Woods Rogers?
We come to the end of the Pirate Round. North is perfect as he Forrest Gumps his way around the Indian Ocean. Let's do one last round before the Golden Age really begins!
What happens when a Welsh farm boy is abandoned naked on the shore of Madagascar? Probably piratey shenanigans! Probably.
After having the good man of piracy with Halesy last time, we now go to the bad man of piracy. Was he a pirate? Was he a slaver? Find out!
Who is John Halsey? Is he the nice man of piracy? Does he have a plan? Where did all the dragons come from? Find out in this episode!
What to do with a pirate we are not 100% sure was real? Cover him anyway and hope for the best! Check out Bluesky and facebook to see the images connected to this episode. https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7gf5k2c24
https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7iflrb224
Our pirate from last episode had a fellow pirate captain that he worked with. But was Bowen better than Howard? Did he take more ships? Did he instil more fear? Why should he look out for red fish? And does anyone know how to make a Tom Collins around here? Find out all the answers to these questions!
We enter the dark ages of our series where the names are not so well known. We have only the general history to rely on but does this mean Howard will be dull? Or is he a hidden gem? Find out!
Our third pirate is one of the most famous pirates of the time. He may not be too well known now, but back in pirate times he was up there with the best of them. But why? What makes Kidd so special? And more importantly, do we finally have a good ship name?
Our second pirate is the aptly named Thomas Tew. We saw Tew in Avery's episode when Avery took command of the pirate fleet. But how did Tew do on the attack? And just how friendly was his ship? Find out!
So it begins! Join us as we look at the first pirate we will be covering. The pirate all other pirates wanted to be, the Robin Hood of the seas, it's Henry Avery! (or Every. or Everie. or... never mind, spelling was optional back then)
Welcome to the introduction episode for Pirates: Totalus Rankium! We are going to be ranking all the Golden Age pirates found in The General History of Pirates. Join us as we lightheartedly look at each one in turn. 30 pirates, but which one is the best? Find out!
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