The Opposite of Leadership...Wait for it...It's Drama
I’m really excited for this week’s episode of A New Direction, because I’ll be sitting down with best-selling author Charlie Sheppard, whose work jolts us out of the endless cycle of workplace drama and into — you guessed it — leadership by choice. In his book Save Your Drama for Your Mama: Drama or Leadership is a Choice, Charlie makes it clear that drama isn’t just annoying, it’s corrosive. It creates what he calls the “Drama Triangle” — where we play the roles of victim, persecutor, or rescuer — and it keeps us trapped in old patterns of blame, guilt, and avoidance. But the powerful truth is that leadership is also a triangle — one that begins when we make a conscious choice to step out of the drama and lead ourselves first.
One of the topics we’ll explore is what it means to shift from external control (“It’s not my fault, someone else made me do it”) to internal ownership (“I choose how I respond”). Charlie argues that when we feel powerless, we fall into drama; when we reclaim choice, we start leading. So, I want us to ask: where in your professional or personal life are you still waiting for someone else to drive the bus? And how might you hop into the driver’s seat instead? This isn’t about becoming perfect or drama-free overnight — it’s about recognizing that you always have the power to choose differently.
We’ll also dive into how we show up in the roles we play — adversary vs. catalyst, victim vs. visionary. These distinctions move leadership beyond the abstract and into behaviors we can see in our teams and ourselves. Expect us to unpack those everyday situations — the teammate who plays the victim and drags the group down, or the adversary who stirs things up in destructive ways — and contrast them with the visionary or catalyst who chooses to energize, engage, and elevate. If you’ve ever wondered how to stop drama from being “just how we do things,” this part of the conversation will be eye-opening.
Finally, we’ll wrap with the big idea that leadership is a choice — full stop. Charlie doesn’t sugar-coat it: real leadership takes awareness, intention, and a willingness to look in the mirror. But he also offers a practical roadmap — not just “stop the drama,” but “what do I do instead?” Whether you’re leading a team, managing projects, coaching others, or simply trying to grow as a person, this message will challenge and inspire you. My hope is that when you tune in, you’ll ask yourself one powerful question: “Am I choosing leadership right now… or am I just participating in drama because it’s easier?”
Charlie Sheppard's book, "Save Your Drama For Your Mama: Drama or Leadership. is a Choice is perhaps one of the best practical books on leadership I have ever read. For the first time someone has clearly defined the opposite of leadership. Are you wondering what that is? It's not followership...it's drama.
And what Charlie Sheppard had developed is elegantly simplistic by comparing and contrasting the behaviors of those in leadership and those in drama. In fact, you discover the opposites. For Example: An internal locus of control is leadership, it's counterpart is an external locus of control. Adversary or catalyst. Victim or visionary. Rescuer or coach?. His detailed triangles take us through a journey that begins change our perspective.
What is also phenomenal about this book is he has a tremendous amount of research to support his findings. If you are brain and body geek you are going to love is section on the amygdala and it's connection to how it interacts with both drama and leadership. If you want real world examples, he supplies those as well.
Absolutely an engaging read. And I will add there is truth in his warning in the introduction of the book. "Once you’ve been exposed to this way of thinking, your life will never be the same." It's absolutely true. I have used it with my clients and it works!