Sex, Love, and Addiction

Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz continue their discussion about the connection between intimacy and sex. She highlights the role of hormones in sex addiction and betrayal, addresses the myths of monogamy, and counters the dangerous statement that too many betraying partners tell themselves, because what you don’t know actually will hurt you, will hurt your partner, and will hurt everyone around you.  

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] Coming to p...

Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz discuss the connection between intimacy and sex – what it is, how it varies based on age, gender, and culture, and what a partner’s betrayal really means about the relationship. The author of The Intimacy Solution, Dr. Erika explores the connection between sex and intimacy at all stages of life and answers the question that so many betrayed partners grapple with – “If you really loved me, why would yo...

Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty continue their discussion about trauma. How can recovering addicts find the healing that they need when trauma is still unknown? How can you gather the right team to support you in your recovery work? How can you find peace following big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma? They answer these questions and consider the gift of working on yourself and the power of standing on your own two feet and finding you...

Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore trauma – what exactly is it, how does it come about, and what can you do about it? They consider the wounded healer, the importance of integrating all lived experiences to become whole again, and the role of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from incident trauma, ancestral trauma, prolonged trauma, and more, and she cautions listene...

Dr. Rob and Tamara Cooper continue their discussion about codependency, boundaries, and the communal value of sharing your experience with others who have found themselves in similar situations. Tamara highlights the Empowered Women Retreat, a place for betrayed partners to heal in a safe and supportive space, as well as affordable options for healing for those who don’t have the resources for therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:13] How does ...

Dr. Rob and Tamara Cooper explore the isolating and painful blaming and shaming that betrayed partners often experience while their partners are surrounded by support. Betrayed partners often torture themselves by asking what they could have done differently to prevent their partner from acting out, and Tamara has an answer for that. Her passion for supporting betrayed partners is obvious and genuine, and she offers a glimpse into ...

Dr. Rob and Tami share what a couple can expect when they sit down and talk with Dr. Rob in person or over Zoom when they are ready to address their infidelity and addiction issues. How do you know if a residential treatment is right for you? What do you do when your spouse still continues to lie to you after formal disclosure? All these questions answered, and more! 

TAKEAWAYS:

[0:45] How l...

Dr. Rob and Lora continue their discussion about self-awareness and honoring self while also thriving in a connected partnership. Leaving your partner doesn’t make the pain entirely go away, so you have to work to honor yourself whether you choose to stay or leave. Surround yourself with people who can support you and remind you of who you really are beyond what happened to you. There are great motivating factors behind an affair a...

Lora Cheadle joins Dr. Rob to discuss the journey of self-discovery that the spouse must take after betrayal. Moments of vulnerability and self-disclosure can bring happiness into a healing marriage while also triggering feelings of old hurt, leaving spouses feeling angry and confused about whether or not they really trust their partner again.  Lora understands that while you may have been victimized, you get to choose whether or n...

Dr. Rob continues his conversation with Dr. Geoff Goodman about the power of the 12 Step program, which worked for Geoff when nothing else did. Finding an effective therapist who can support you and your partner requires so much more than just delving into the past - it requires making demands and setting goals that you can realistically achieve as you move forward.  One huge component of recovery for both you and your partner is f...

Dr. Rob welcomes back podcast guest Dr. Geoff Goodman for a conversation about the impact that addiction has on relationships.  He offers insights into the struggle of not only the addict, but of their partner as well, and shares his experience with falling in love with a woman who did not know that he was an addict.  Some partners are more supportive and involved while others appear to be disinterested or even disgusted and fed up...

Dr. Rob continues his discussion with Josh Nichols on some of the common tactics addicts and abusers use to gaslight their victims. In this episode, Josh focuses on the person who is receiving the gaslight treatment. Whatever you might be going through, there is no shame in staying with your addict. Sometimes the best thing for your family is to work through the issues, and sometimes the best thing for your family is for you to lea...

Dr. Rob talks with Josh Nichols about common gaslighting tactics addicts and manipulative people tend to use. We like to think the world might be full of these calculating abusers, but often times these tactics are used as a knee-jerk reaction and come from a place of survival. Today, Josh offers some tips on how to spot a gaslighter and what you might be feeling from some of their gaslighting actions. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:10] A little...

Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Bentley join Dr. Rob to talk about female sex addiction and the damage it can cause families. Both Lacy and Heather share their personal experience with being the ‘other woman’ and how, despite it going against everything they believed in, they still continued down a path of destruction. When it comes to any form of addiction, what we're really fighting against is deeply broken attachment w...

Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was actually going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. This episode is part two of these two women sharing their very personal story of how they found out about their hu...

Annie and Melissa are two women who have experienced deep marital betrayal in their relationship. The signs weren’t always clear as to what was going on, but when the wool had been pulled over their eyes, the amount of emotions, judgment, and pain they experienced took a long time to recover from. These two women share their stories and also share why they decided to stay with their husbands and support them in their a...

Jason VanRuler is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author dedicated to impacting those who make an impact. His first book, Get Past Your Past, is all about establishing a mindset of emotional health and resilience to find lasting wholeness. In this episode, Jason shares his personal self-development journey, why going to therapy is so difficult for so many people, and why our natural inclination is to hurt others; inte...

Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about PTSD, intent...

Sandra A. Shachar, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and has over thirty years of clinical experience working with individuals, couples and families affected by Betrayal Trauma. She is also the author of The Porn Solution, which dives into the world of betrayal through porn use and what partners can do to navigate themselves through it. In this episode, Dr. Sandra talks about the definiti...